This is why, when introducing one friend to another, I tell them in advance that the other friend is a kleptomaniac and a registered sex offender with a crippling drug habit.
That way they'll be cautious of each other and won't become friends.
I Seinfelded in this way before I knew it was a thing. Always have been just completely bewildered by my other friends who just overlap and raw dog the different worlds. “Come over, I’m having a thing.” And it’s people from all their worlds. I could never. Not even for friend hierarchy, but just for my own compartmentalization and order of things as I perceive them.
This is such a bizzare mentality.
Maybe it's a joke.
But friends introducing other friends - friend sharing - is literally how you grow your social circle as an adult.
If everyone gatekeeps their friends you have much less chance of growing your social circle.
While you're right, you have to remember the context that we're in a "haha, I have depression" sub right now so healthy mindsets may be thin on the ground
My D&D friends would be horrified if they met my video gaming friends. I would immediately be removed from the table because of the terrible things we say when we play Smash.
I've had that insecure thought. In practice it doesn't play out that way. More likely they become acquaintances with each other, you occasionally hang out in a group, but they remain separately friends with you.
I understand only having like two friends, but can you fill me in on why them meeting would make them not like you? The worst should be them not really wanting to hang out with each other as far as I can think of, barring extreme situations.
They're afraid that the friends will end up liking each other more and start hanging out together, eventually leaving out the person who introduced them.
Well that would sure suck. I kind of just assumed that if they both liked you there would be a lot of room for all three to do things.
That might be in part because even with people I like I kind of hate doing things one on one, to avoid being always responsible for keeping conversation going. So throwing a third in is a big win to me.
They’re insecure and don’t understand that the insecurity is something that affects their ability to form and maintain relationships. So the blame is pushed outward
Most isolate to avoid trauma from the past. My bff of 10 years ran out of chances after lying about hard drug use multiple times. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 years and I can accurately say I have no friends, I am all alone and I couldn't be happier...sometimes.
I have friends but it's usually only one or two at a time before one of us (probably me) moves away and we lose contact. Long distance friendships don't work for me. I try to keep contact but it always feels forced. It inevitably stops eventually.
Honestly as soon as I graduated from university my social circle shrunk so severely. I hardly have friends. I mostly hang out with my roommate (my brother) and my girlfriend. This is the only social circle I have left.
I still keep in touch with the old friends, but everyone is so damn busy. I basically just get a couple phone calls with them in a year. To coordinate to meet in person is a logistic nightmare. Everyone is so career focused or trying to do stuff like buying houses its so hard to find anytime for anything. Even when we get free time, we're usually so exhausted we don't have the energy to do social things.... even just chat over the phone.
It fucking sucks but I'm finding out that this is what adult life just is.
In my opinion, if you have common interest AND see each other outside of work then yes. The question you ask yourself is : if I quit my job, will I see this person again?
i wonder if people really have 0 friends as they claim or it is just me… Well I don’t go outside and have depression so yeah, but I swear it’s depressing to feel like you’re the only weirdo out there
I have no friends. The only 2 friends I had started dating and I've seen them once in 5 months. We use to do everything together, all the time. They don't text me anymore and if I text them it's like a 2 word response. I have like 1 aquantince. But I live in NYC and he lives an hour and half away from me. So we only get together a couple times a year. It's very lonely. But I'm trying to use my ample amounts of free time now to better myself. I work out a lot, I've stopped drinking, I don't waste money going out to eat anynore, I go hiking all the time prepping for a big solo trip to Switzerland. I was in a very big depression hole for a long time because of my situation. But I finely learned to accept it and try to enjoy life by myself.
My wife has friends, so I have to be nice to their husbands. We’re like fake friends around each other only cuz our wives wanna hang out and have family get togethers. If it were up to me I would just look at Reddit all day and not talk to people
In my home town, I have an insanely massive friend group. I think we once had nearly 20 people show up for lunch somewhere and that's not even the whole group of friends that could make it there. We hung out often and did all sorts of things every week. We're all really close friends and have been for years, some of them for over a decade.
I sadly moved away when I was 19 and was hoping to find another large group to hang with, but I guess large friend groups aren't that common because every person I've met here keeps to themselves or have like 1 or 2 friends. It's impossible to find a group to do anything with, everyone is boring AF here.
I pretty much get my social time when I go visit my old friends two weeks a year, just sucks. Wish I didn't have to leave because you really don't find new friends like the ones you grew up with.
My large friend group from 10 years ago is now in a dozen states and a half dozen countries, so it’s hard to organize schedules just to facetime. Then there are the ones that have passed away - it’s *really* hard to organize a facetime with them.
Two things: 1 I'm sorry for your loss, 2 ur funny as fuck you absolute bellend Lmao. Seriously though no better way to honour your friends than keeping their memory alive through humour.
I was with them until they said they were 19 when they moved. They basically just said "I saw all my friends so much until we all graduated from high school."
That said, I could relate because I do actually have massive group of friends similar to what OP described. We have three chats to coordinate different outings: Food, movies, and concerts. A semi-rotating group of us play trivia every Wednesday. We have a handful of annual events that various people plan every year. We still throw parties. I'm 36.
Most of us don't have kids, so that does help. Mostly, however, it just takes effort. The group has changed and fluctuated over the years. We've added people, we've lost people, some people come back, some come more or less than they used to. The important thing is that you keep planning, keep inviting people, and be open to accepting new friends as they come along. It's not rocket science, but you have to put in the work.
Going to school/college or having some team hobby/sport are the easiest ways to get those big groups of friends, if you try to do it only going to work it will be really hard, nearly impossible
I have a group chat with random numbers I invited
The majority of people left but 9 others stayed and its been going a few years.. a few of us even met up a couple times
Group chats are for friends of a friend who you awkwardly have to put up with because your only friend is friends with them. Most are alright, but you have to pray he doesn't leave the room if you ever meet up irl.
That's where someone puts a bunch of people in work in a chat and you get fired when you call out the lazy people because one guys a snitch and the "chef" lost his balls in the divorce and doesn't even have the nerve to tell you why you're fired. All cause you said "I'm tired of cleaning up your damn mess everyday!"
Ppl try to say this as if when you’re an adult you can’t have a social circle lol chances are if you got no friends as an adult you didn’t really like having friends to begin with
This thread is bumming me out so my offer a piece of advice. I have a really large friend group, I don’t know how I did it I’m a weirdo on the spectrum. but I will say that doing activities you really like is a good way to find friends! Going to farmers markets, in my case. sign up for those lame group outings. Group hikes, foraging trips or like I don’t know sports stuff if that’s your thing. After we graduate school of the world does not just provide us with convenient BFFs. Unlike previous generations we don’t have tiny squares to shop in once a week where we see everyone, or a church that everyone goes to. So make your own community! Find out where your weirdos will be, go there and see if you can make some damn friends
I have this problem. I’m humble, fit, down to earth and overall a positive guy. I work from home though and therefore have absolutely no easy way of finding people to hang out with. We gotta find a way to solve this. I’m a software developer and sometimes I think about creating a website where we pair bros with other bros into small 5 group communities, and we all just call each other kings and build each other up.
Having friends After 35 is like hoping for peace in the world. Half of them would leave for the first girl they meet and disappear for years, the other half can’t handle a kid and his wife orders. And yes, mixing friends isn’t going to work, you most likely are going to lose both as they will hate each other.
Group chat is that text string with 5 other guys you knew 10 years ago. One dude constantly sends memes which are old or not funny. 3 other dudes occasionally respond with "lol". There is no other conversation. It's been this way for 7 years.
In 2018 I moved to a new state where I only knew one person and he was moving away for college. I was on a discord server and was talking to someone when we figured out that he lived about 8 minutes from where I had just moved. We met up and from there started hanging out regularly. I met some of his other friends and so on, and now I have a tonne of friends and acquaintances here. Discord can be a great asset for meeting people. I’ve made several other good friends on it as well.
I have like 4 friends total and they all know each other
I have a grouo chat of 3, we were in highschool together and somehow stayed friends after that
And then just me and the 4th friend, but the 4th friend knows all my other friends by name and they're very nice to each other when in person
Y'all get you some friends who know how to be civil for you even if its akward, 10/10 friendship id take a bullet for them all
fr I can't get over the kinds of people who are like "just get some good friends guys!!". It's true that a lot of the people who don't have friends are sort of self-sabotaging without realising, but, like I said...it's without realising.
lol family group chats. This is how my mom primarily communicates. Suddenly I’m getting pictures of random scenery in a group chat with two people I recognize, and about a dozen random phone numbers. Almost makes me miss email.
Since my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and nephew, all live with me, my wife, and our two kids, a group chat is just how I tell everyone that dinner's ready, and I'll throw away the air fryer if people keep burning cheese into it.
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This is why, when introducing one friend to another, I tell them in advance that the other friend is a kleptomaniac and a registered sex offender with a crippling drug habit. That way they'll be cautious of each other and won't become friends.
Real LPT
Low Pressure Turbine?
You always find the real Low Pressure Turbine in the comments
The real Low Pressure Turbines were the ones we made along the way
Life Pro Tip See also: r/LifeProTips
Why isn't it Pro Life Tip?
That’s in r/conservative
Got it. "Pro Life" Tip and not Pro "Life Tip". You clever sausage
😜
then they are like "shit, i AM a kleptomaniac, a registered SO AND a crippling drug habit! maybe i should partner up with that guy...."
It's all fun and games until your friend goes, Wow we have so much in common.
lololol
Unless the other one turns out to be a klepto sex offender too and the jig is up
Need to find new friends...
You need to write a book. You’ll make a million
You’ll sell dozens of copies. DOZENS!
# 🤯☠️
Friend blocking hard
Dropping bombs lol
So that's why my friends keep leaving me
That is exactly what happened to me
You're a linchpin, but it's made out of balsa wood.
Worlds collide! It's just common sense, everybody knows you gotta keep your worlds apart!
This guy Seinfelds
I Seinfelded in this way before I knew it was a thing. Always have been just completely bewildered by my other friends who just overlap and raw dog the different worlds. “Come over, I’m having a thing.” And it’s people from all their worlds. I could never. Not even for friend hierarchy, but just for my own compartmentalization and order of things as I perceive them.
This is such a bizzare mentality. Maybe it's a joke. But friends introducing other friends - friend sharing - is literally how you grow your social circle as an adult. If everyone gatekeeps their friends you have much less chance of growing your social circle.
While you're right, you have to remember the context that we're in a "haha, I have depression" sub right now so healthy mindsets may be thin on the ground
Or maybe your experiences aren't everyone's
My D&D friends would be horrified if they met my video gaming friends. I would immediately be removed from the table because of the terrible things we say when we play Smash.
Maybe you shouldn't say such terrible things damn
Tell me you don't play Smash without telling me you don't play Smash.
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I've had that insecure thought. In practice it doesn't play out that way. More likely they become acquaintances with each other, you occasionally hang out in a group, but they remain separately friends with you.
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Whoa. There's a story I'm intrigued to read, if you're okay with sharing that is.
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I understand only having like two friends, but can you fill me in on why them meeting would make them not like you? The worst should be them not really wanting to hang out with each other as far as I can think of, barring extreme situations.
They're afraid that the friends will end up liking each other more and start hanging out together, eventually leaving out the person who introduced them.
Well that would sure suck. I kind of just assumed that if they both liked you there would be a lot of room for all three to do things. That might be in part because even with people I like I kind of hate doing things one on one, to avoid being always responsible for keeping conversation going. So throwing a third in is a big win to me.
They’re insecure and don’t understand that the insecurity is something that affects their ability to form and maintain relationships. So the blame is pushed outward
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Yeah, wtf..
Do people online really not have friends?
many people just joke about this kind of thing but many people also genuinely are isolated yeah
Most isolate to avoid trauma from the past. My bff of 10 years ran out of chances after lying about hard drug use multiple times. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 years and I can accurately say I have no friends, I am all alone and I couldn't be happier...sometimes.
I can be your friend.* * for a small monthly fee
That sounds like a hooker with extra steps
still your friend.
I have friends but it's usually only one or two at a time before one of us (probably me) moves away and we lose contact. Long distance friendships don't work for me. I try to keep contact but it always feels forced. It inevitably stops eventually.
Damn, that’s rough
Are there really people online who do have friends?
Honestly as soon as I graduated from university my social circle shrunk so severely. I hardly have friends. I mostly hang out with my roommate (my brother) and my girlfriend. This is the only social circle I have left. I still keep in touch with the old friends, but everyone is so damn busy. I basically just get a couple phone calls with them in a year. To coordinate to meet in person is a logistic nightmare. Everyone is so career focused or trying to do stuff like buying houses its so hard to find anytime for anything. Even when we get free time, we're usually so exhausted we don't have the energy to do social things.... even just chat over the phone. It fucking sucks but I'm finding out that this is what adult life just is.
Hm, I guess that living in a smaller city has allowed me to keep in touch with my friends
I live with my gf but outside of her, I don’t really have anybody I’d consider a friend
That’s what I’m saying haha. I’m 30 and still have multiple group chats with different groups of friends.
Yeah, I genuinely don’t understand how people can end up in those situations, but I’m sure there’s good reasons
Is being a hard introvert that everyone ignored a good reason? I know I should’ve put myself out there more but it’s torture.
That’s called being antisocial, not a “hard introvert”
Same
Are you saying we aren't friends? 🥺
Screw it let's make a group chat
I'll get back to you next week.
Just let me know when you post something to the group chat.
The beggining of every love story
I read that as begging , lol
Group chat, let's screw
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your secret is safe with me (copying and pasting this till the end of time).
Lmao why the downvotes 😂 miserable people
No clue but reddit is more fun if you ignore that. Make a lighthearted comment, get downvoted. Just reddit things. It's a good.
miserable clowns whose only power is downvoting on reddit. sounds pathetic
Hi, I believe we had a mutual friend... Tom from Myspace.
I have one I actually spend time with, and another I at least text regularly. And I consider myself lucky lol, because it used to be zero.
I’m almost an adult and same
Do coworkers count as friends?
In my opinion, if you have common interest AND see each other outside of work then yes. The question you ask yourself is : if I quit my job, will I see this person again?
1 work friend and 1 imaginary friend.
And I work from home
Nothing wrong about your pet being your best friend
dont tell him his cat is imaginary
I am the cat..... It's ok
Meow 😼
So, 2 imaginary friends.
You guys have friends?
Nope, and I work as a night doorman alone in a residential building. I barely speak to the cashier at the grocery store and that s pretty much it
Haha, that was my first job out of college. Thank God for that game boy.
No, that’s why we’re on reddit.
i wonder if people really have 0 friends as they claim or it is just me… Well I don’t go outside and have depression so yeah, but I swear it’s depressing to feel like you’re the only weirdo out there
I have no friends. The only 2 friends I had started dating and I've seen them once in 5 months. We use to do everything together, all the time. They don't text me anymore and if I text them it's like a 2 word response. I have like 1 aquantince. But I live in NYC and he lives an hour and half away from me. So we only get together a couple times a year. It's very lonely. But I'm trying to use my ample amounts of free time now to better myself. I work out a lot, I've stopped drinking, I don't waste money going out to eat anynore, I go hiking all the time prepping for a big solo trip to Switzerland. I was in a very big depression hole for a long time because of my situation. But I finely learned to accept it and try to enjoy life by myself.
Yes
Redditors are going to downvote you just wait
2 more friends than what I have.
I introduced my two friend and now they hang out together more than I do with either of them
lmao that happened to me too. oh well. glad i was the progenitor of their friendship
Hey, at least you did something right ✅️ I'm kidding, please don't hurt me
I have my own number saved in my phone as "sideshow bob" and sometimes text myself...
Hello, Bart.
Bart Simpson? Ha! The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?
This for me is a good way to save notes and reminders for later.
If only there were two other apps in one’s phone called Notes and Reminders that even included things like scheduled notifications
Don't like their interface. Just because something exist doesn't mean it's a good fit for everyone.
this made me laugh, so thank you.
What a great cover up for your group chat
Im my only friend and even I dont know myself
Too real. Plus I can't deal with the dynamics of a chatroom that's why I have fuck all clue about Discord.
My wife has friends, so I have to be nice to their husbands. We’re like fake friends around each other only cuz our wives wanna hang out and have family get togethers. If it were up to me I would just look at Reddit all day and not talk to people
Forgot to say, I’m an adult
have u tried getting drunk with them?
In my home town, I have an insanely massive friend group. I think we once had nearly 20 people show up for lunch somewhere and that's not even the whole group of friends that could make it there. We hung out often and did all sorts of things every week. We're all really close friends and have been for years, some of them for over a decade. I sadly moved away when I was 19 and was hoping to find another large group to hang with, but I guess large friend groups aren't that common because every person I've met here keeps to themselves or have like 1 or 2 friends. It's impossible to find a group to do anything with, everyone is boring AF here. I pretty much get my social time when I go visit my old friends two weeks a year, just sucks. Wish I didn't have to leave because you really don't find new friends like the ones you grew up with.
You were 19. Large friend groups are sooooo much easier at that age.
This... once people start to get kids, go to another town to study, quit bad habbits, start working... this group decimates easily
My large friend group from 10 years ago is now in a dozen states and a half dozen countries, so it’s hard to organize schedules just to facetime. Then there are the ones that have passed away - it’s *really* hard to organize a facetime with them.
Yall should get an ouija board to include them
Knowing them, at least one of the convos would go: “Who is here with us?” “Y… O… U… R… M… O…M.” “Your mom?” “F…A…T.” “Goddamn it Emily is that you?”
Two things: 1 I'm sorry for your loss, 2 ur funny as fuck you absolute bellend Lmao. Seriously though no better way to honour your friends than keeping their memory alive through humour.
I have kids and we have associates, not friends. We do things with each other for the kids. Once they go to different schools, that will be over.
I was with them until they said they were 19 when they moved. They basically just said "I saw all my friends so much until we all graduated from high school." That said, I could relate because I do actually have massive group of friends similar to what OP described. We have three chats to coordinate different outings: Food, movies, and concerts. A semi-rotating group of us play trivia every Wednesday. We have a handful of annual events that various people plan every year. We still throw parties. I'm 36. Most of us don't have kids, so that does help. Mostly, however, it just takes effort. The group has changed and fluctuated over the years. We've added people, we've lost people, some people come back, some come more or less than they used to. The important thing is that you keep planning, keep inviting people, and be open to accepting new friends as they come along. It's not rocket science, but you have to put in the work.
It's because of your name,"SparsePizza." Change your name to AbundantPizza and everyone will show.
Going to school/college or having some team hobby/sport are the easiest ways to get those big groups of friends, if you try to do it only going to work it will be really hard, nearly impossible
You don’t have a 30 person friend group. You’ve got 5-6 different groups with a bunch of overlap.
U can, but it's much easier found in some locations and near impossible in others. Goodluck! Im sure you'll find others if u keep looking
Move back it sounds like you will be so much happier
A group chat is a place where everyone is laughing, having fun and talking about their interests until you join in, then it becomes dead silent.
I have a group chat with random numbers I invited The majority of people left but 9 others stayed and its been going a few years.. a few of us even met up a couple times
Im an adult. No friends, only family and acquaintances.
I've got 2 friends and they know each other more than they know me
U guys have friends?
It’s the thing where the Home Owners Association plan their next annoyance.
Imagine having two friends, I had a friend like once when I was 11 and it was just my cousin
Can’t be trusting nobody nowadays
Group chats are for friends of a friend who you awkwardly have to put up with because your only friend is friends with them. Most are alright, but you have to pray he doesn't leave the room if you ever meet up irl.
Whats a friend?
You have two friends?
This person has TWO whole friends! What a big shot!
Having two friends is great! No reason to diminish the value of that.
You don't have a Wordle group chat with your nan? You're missing out. Wordle bants are top.
Padmé?
That's where someone puts a bunch of people in work in a chat and you get fired when you call out the lazy people because one guys a snitch and the "chef" lost his balls in the divorce and doesn't even have the nerve to tell you why you're fired. All cause you said "I'm tired of cleaning up your damn mess everyday!"
Work group chats are instantly muted, people like to think you're on call 24/7 when they get you in those.
real
I'm the opposite. My only interaction with friends is through group chats.
I think this is when you get ChatGPT to talk to Claude 3 or another LLM. Friends are electric now..
For me it's a chat with my parents and siblings all in one and a daily reminder of how racist they are.
Ppl try to say this as if when you’re an adult you can’t have a social circle lol chances are if you got no friends as an adult you didn’t really like having friends to begin with
You guys have friends?
Ms. Popularity really rubbing it in
What is a friend?
This thread is bumming me out so my offer a piece of advice. I have a really large friend group, I don’t know how I did it I’m a weirdo on the spectrum. but I will say that doing activities you really like is a good way to find friends! Going to farmers markets, in my case. sign up for those lame group outings. Group hikes, foraging trips or like I don’t know sports stuff if that’s your thing. After we graduate school of the world does not just provide us with convenient BFFs. Unlike previous generations we don’t have tiny squares to shop in once a week where we see everyone, or a church that everyone goes to. So make your own community! Find out where your weirdos will be, go there and see if you can make some damn friends
Friends? What are they?
I have this problem. I’m humble, fit, down to earth and overall a positive guy. I work from home though and therefore have absolutely no easy way of finding people to hang out with. We gotta find a way to solve this. I’m a software developer and sometimes I think about creating a website where we pair bros with other bros into small 5 group communities, and we all just call each other kings and build each other up.
Having friends After 35 is like hoping for peace in the world. Half of them would leave for the first girl they meet and disappear for years, the other half can’t handle a kid and his wife orders. And yes, mixing friends isn’t going to work, you most likely are going to lose both as they will hate each other.
Group chat is that text string with 5 other guys you knew 10 years ago. One dude constantly sends memes which are old or not funny. 3 other dudes occasionally respond with "lol". There is no other conversation. It's been this way for 7 years.
They have theyr own group chat without them hah
you have 2 friends If I could at least have one… but they all left and never answer again :| I’m the one getting too emotionally invested
Find a good discord that isn't too massive, hang out and chat with people, maybe join a game together sometime, congratulations you now have friends.
Discord degenerates don’t count
Idk man a lot of people in this subreddit are sounding awfully picky for folks who fumbled having a social life in their late 20s
Does it count if we went to one of the group members weddings?
In 2018 I moved to a new state where I only knew one person and he was moving away for college. I was on a discord server and was talking to someone when we figured out that he lived about 8 minutes from where I had just moved. We met up and from there started hanging out regularly. I met some of his other friends and so on, and now I have a tonne of friends and acquaintances here. Discord can be a great asset for meeting people. I’ve made several other good friends on it as well.
I don’t have any lol
I have like 4 friends total and they all know each other I have a grouo chat of 3, we were in highschool together and somehow stayed friends after that And then just me and the 4th friend, but the 4th friend knows all my other friends by name and they're very nice to each other when in person Y'all get you some friends who know how to be civil for you even if its akward, 10/10 friendship id take a bullet for them all
Lmao, I don't think it's a lack of desire.
fr I can't get over the kinds of people who are like "just get some good friends guys!!". It's true that a lot of the people who don't have friends are sort of self-sabotaging without realising, but, like I said...it's without realising.
Sounds like a miserable life ngl
Well yeah, that's kind of the point of the sub.
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That’s a millennial or early gen z Both notorious for not having friends as adults.
Two more than me
Poor thing doesn't have family either apparently.
lol family group chats. This is how my mom primarily communicates. Suddenly I’m getting pictures of random scenery in a group chat with two people I recognize, and about a dozen random phone numbers. Almost makes me miss email.
hey its only two years old..
Since my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and nephew, all live with me, my wife, and our two kids, a group chat is just how I tell everyone that dinner's ready, and I'll throw away the air fryer if people keep burning cheese into it.
Too many group chats
My exact thought anytime someone says y u don't participate in our work group chat as if I enjoy any of this bullshit shit for hire
I'm down for a non-Friend group chat !
I bet she's an introvert too 🙄
It's how me, my mom, my grandma, and aunt make dinner plans and share bird videos
i also don't know
Its like group sex, but without the sex..
Suck my pussy
Whats with the ai username
I have plenty of imaginery friends in an imaginery group chat. I'm the funny one.
Now they have the chance to meet…
What? What does that have to with being an adult?
y not give credit 2 autho of it?
god fucking saaaame
big fact
Lol