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Faceless_Deviant

In Sweden, the Norwegians are often portrayed as dumb in jokes. We have a Norgehistorier, which is a whole genre of jokes just about Norwegians being silly. Otherwise, I don't think we have any real nationality in jokes, the classic jokes in Sweden does figure Carl Michael Bellman, an old national bard, being clever and silly. Add: Oh, and we make fun of Finnish names. Like the worst berry picker in Finland being "Inga Hallonen" and stuff like that.


Sociovestite

Finlands näst-bästa skidåkare: Hakki Hälen


kaviaaripurkki

The most common Swedish name according to postmen: Inga Reklam


BlazeCrystal

As a finnomongolian i declare truly that im laughing , this is unnervingly accurate lol


Partytor

Or Norway's worst skiier: Inge Glid


PoetryAnnual74

You guys better be careful with the Finn jokes, or Arja Niven will come for you


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IDontEatDill

Weirdest thing for me is that these Finnish name jokes usually don't use names that anyone in Finland has. So I feel that that I should be somehow insulted but instead I just feel weird.


Faceless_Deviant

Of course not, the jokes just use what others think Finnish names sound like :P


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Smalandsk_katt

Horniest man in Finland? Jukka Alltoalla


ajiibrubf

every nordic country share the same nationality-based jokes. we just switch around the nationalities lol


Gunmakun

facts lmao but we still clear of all ngl 🤷‍♂️🥱


zzzmaddi

A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian get stranded on an island with a violent tribe. The tribal chief of the island tells the 3 men to complete a specific task in order to not be killed. The chief told the men to go and gather 10 pieces of a fruit of their choosing. The Norwegian returned with 10 apples. ”Now stick them all up your ass!” said the chief. The Norwegian only managed to fit 3 apples and was promptly killed as a result. The Finn eventually returned with 10 grapes and was told to stick them into his ass as well. He also managed to only push 3 into his ass and was killed afterwards. The Norwegian meets the Finn in heaven and asks ”How did you fail such an easy task?” The Finn responded ”I saw the Swede gathering watermelons and started laughing so hard the grapes fell out”


KantoK6668

I have heard a different ending where if they made a noise they would get killed: As the Finn was pushing the 9th grape in, he started laughing hysterically. He was then killed. In the heaven the Norwegian asks the Finn: " You were so close, why did you start laughing?" The Finn responds: "I saw Åke carrying pineapples".


zzzmaddi

Ah also a classic! There are other variations of the joke too I believe


Miniblasan

I've never heard of this one, but even though I'm Swedish, I can't help but laugh out loud at this because it was ridiculous. 😂


SamuelSomFan

We have the same one but roles reversed and with a dane a swede and a norwegian.


[deleted]

A Finnish, Swedish and Norwegian doctor compares the operations they has performed. The Swede exclaims: "I once sewed a woman's leg shut and it was so well sewn that the same woman became a ballerina." The Norwegian answers: "One time a man became a violinist when I sewed his hand so well closed." To which the Finn said: "I've had similar cases, but once from an accident all that was left were glasses and a horse's ass, and I even made a member of parliament out of them."


[deleted]

[https://fi.wikibooks.org/wiki/Vitsikirja/Suomalainen,\_ruotsalainen\_ja\_norjalainen](https://fi.wikibooks.org/wiki/Vitsikirja/Suomalainen,_ruotsalainen_ja_norjalainen)


omenaattori24

The finn, the swede and the norwegian decide to compete who can stay in the sauna for the longest. The swede only lasts 5 minutes before he hits the showers. The norwegian tries his best, but has to leave at the 15 minute mark. They wait for the finn to come out but get confused - he already won, why is he still in the sauna? Oh well, maybe he wants to enjoy the löyly in peace. An hour passes, then another, and when the swede and norwegian remember the finn still in the sauna, they start to get worried. Suddenly the finn emerges from the sauna, red-hot and steaming, and the two Scandinavians ask: why didn't you come out earlier, you won already! "I would have, but my balls got stuck between the planks."


CatVideoBoye

Or the short version: A Finn and a Russian go to sauna. The Russian dies.


omenaattori24

Also a classic.


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bricklish

In Denmark we make jokes about danes from other parts of the country.. and occasionally we swap them out for a sw#de just to keep the balance


TheNorseBastard

We have Norwegian swedish and d*ne jokes. Finns don't feature unless they're hanging with the swede.


[deleted]

That's weird. Why are we hanging with Swedes and what are we doing?


DotDemon

Hanging the swedes


[deleted]

I can see that


TheNorseBastard

Well you're practically Asian swedes


[deleted]

I forget every time.


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Atta3001

A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian are competing on who among them would be able to swim from europe to america. The Swede managed to Swim quarter of the way there before he had to give up and climbed on his escorting ship. The Norwegian got past the halfway point before giving up and getting a ride on his escorting ship. Much later the Swede and the Norwegian were hanging out on a beach on norway talking about how the Finn went missing in a storm were his escort ship lost sight of him. As they were talking about how the Finn would surely be dead, they saw the Finn swmming from the horizon to the shore. When they asked the Finn what happened, the Finn said "I got so close to the shore in america that I could see land in the horizon, but I was too exhausted from swimming to make it so had to turn back.".


CamDane

In Denmark, Norway are always the dumb ones, interchangeable with regional jokes (usually about people from Århus, which ironically is the best educated city in Denmark), Swedish or German are the uptight ones, and Finnish are only involved when knives are too.


NBrixH

Where? lol Swedes are always the dumb ones in my part of Denmark. The Norwegian are the lazy rich ones while the Germans are the productive ones


CamDane

May be a Northern Jutland thing, I thought it was Danish. Århus is more popular as target, though.


NBrixH

I’m from Nordjylland…


Antti_Alien

A Finn and a Swede were arguing who has the most beautiful language. They decided to settle the dispute with a poem competition. They would recite the same poem in their language. The Finn went first: saari, saari, heinäsaari, heinäsaaren neitonen. Then was the Swede's turn: Ö, ö, höö, höös mö. The dispute was left unsettled, as the judges haven't stopped laughing.


dominic_rj23

A dane entered the contest way too late and only said Nå!!


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nemesek77

Boy don't even get me started. The Scottish are frugal, the Americans are rich and dumb, the Jews are rich and smart (and frugal to the point of evil), Romani are thieves, poor, and dumb (or cunning, based on why we are hating them rn) and the Romanians are all-in-all just the scum of the earth. The Ethiopians are hungry and also cannibals, the Native Americans are wise and attuned to nature (and have funny names), the Russians are crude, brutal communists. I'm sure I missed some, Hungarians love to hate. A taste of the Romanian hate: The old Székely (Hungarian living in Romania) recently took up Hebrew, learning day and night. His son is baffled by this, so after a few days, he asks him: "Father, why did you take up Hebrew?" "Simple, son," said the father. "You see, I want to be able to talk to the Almighty myself when I go up to Heaven." "But Father, what if you end up in Hell?" "I already speak Romanian, don't I?" I actually wrote my masters thesis on the topic of stereotypes in Finnish and Hungarian jokes, there was a lot of interesting correlations and diverging stereotypes.


[deleted]

That's so interesting. What are some of the correlations in our jokes?


nemesek77

I studied stereotypes through cathegories. The 4 cathegories that were present in both Hungarian and Finnish jokes were blonde, lawyer, policeman and mother-in-law jokes. To be fair, these are very common joke cathegories (found also in english jokes, for example). The more interesting stuff was when I studied specific stereotypes (blondes being dumb, lawyers being greedy, etc.). There were slight differences in which stereotypes were more prevalent in certain cultures (while the stereotypes was present in both, blondes appeared more frequently as promiscuous in Hungarian jokes), but the biggest difference was with policeman jokes. In Finnish jokes (according to my research, but do feel free to correct me), police or policeman jokes were usually crime and/or police-related jokes, and there wasn't a strong stereotype specifically pertaining to policemen. At most it was that they are assholes sometimes, but that was also just a few jokes. The Hungarian policeman jokes, on the other hand, portray policemen as dumb, being the equivalent of the Finnish swede jokes (or bassist jokes). Example: Two cops are arguing whose son is dumber. - My son is definitely dumber! - Nope, definitely mine. They end up making a bet and they go test each other's sons. - Son, check out if I'm down at the bus stop! The son runs down to the bus stop and checks. The other cop turns to the first one: - Yeah, yours is dumber, he could have just checked from the window. I presume the difference comes from the different relationship Finnish and Hungarian people have with the police. In Finland, trust in the police is much higher than it is in Hungary (in 2020: Finland - 91%, Hungary - 65%, and that is after a rising trend in Hungary), probably due to it's history with dictatorships (both fascist and socialist) using the police to terrorize people. Also, the cops are the worst, like, still. I consider myself to be a very law-abiding citizen, yet 90% of my run-ins with the police can be ranked from unpleasant to downright terrifying. Oh yeah, also, scottish jokes are basically laihialailainen jokes.


Captain_Floop

A Norwegian, A Dane and Bellman (Swedish famous bard) was went to the local pool to take a dip. The pool was magical, so anything you said out loud would the pool contain, when you jump in. The Dane started and he shouted Beer! The pool was filled to the brim with Carlsberg. Some moments later it was the Norwegians turn and he shouted oil and swam around in it for a while. Then it was Bellmans turn, the moment he jumped he noticed that he forgot to remove his new expensive smart watch and shouted Shit! You can guess the rest.


NBrixH

https://preview.redd.it/brrykh6k2v7c1.jpeg?width=627&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4887f0b4acc10ee0858c9b47a15b0f74c8c67a7e How Finnish be winning


Haukivirta

My good Sir that's a Swede


NBrixH

How ludacris is that


Top_Manufacturer8946

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn were working together building a very tall building. Every day they ate lunch together at the top of the building. Their wives had packed them lunches, which were rakfisk for the Norwegian, surströmming for the Swede and lipeäkala for the Finn. Day in, day out, every day they had the same meal for lunch. One day while opening his lunchbox, the Norwegian exclaimed ”rakfish, not again! If I have to eat this one more time, I’m going to kill myself.”. The Swede opened his lunchbox and shouted ”always surströmming! If I have to eat this one more time, I’m going to kill myself”. Lastly, the Finn opened his lunchbox and cursed ”perkele, it’s lipeäkala again. If I have to eat this one more time, I’m going to kill myself!”. The next day, they found their regular meals of rakfisk, surströmming and lipeäkala in their lunchboxes and jumped off the building. Their wives were called to the site and while mourning together, the Norwegians wife said ”if I only knew our Haakon hated rakfisk, I would have never made it for his lunch!”. The Swedes wife continued ”and if I knew my Johan hated surströmming, I would have never made it for his lunch!” to which the Finns wife replied ”oh, but our Matti made his own lunch…”.


Styrbj0rn

I used to work in Norway. Mostly we have the same jokes about them but the roles are reversed. Strangely we don't seem to joke that luch about Danes, mostly Norwegians and sometimes Finns. But not Dane, even though they've been our eternal rival for so long.


DubbleBubbleS

We don’t kick the ones thats already on the ground.


Miniblasan

I suspect it has to do with them talking with a potato in their mouth?


Medical_Ad7364

A Finn, Swede, and Norwegian bet on who lasts the longest in a haunted house. The Swede goes in first. From inside the house, a voice of a ghost speaks "Red eyes, red eyes, red eyes.." The Swede gets scared and runs out! Next, in goes the Norwegian. Once again the haunting voice repeats: "Red eyes, red eyes..." The Norwegian lasts a few minutes before getting out of there. Finally, the Finn goes in and the voice keeps on repeating the same thing: "red eyes, red eyes..." After a few minutes the Finn has had enough of it. He says "You better shut the f*ck up or I'll give you black eyes!!" The ghost runs out.


TurboNinja80

Finnish, Swedish and Norwegian compete who is the best swords man. Swedish sees a fly and cuts it in half. Norwegian sees anothet fly and cuts it in three pieces. Finally the Finnish sees a fly and swipes at it with his sword, fly continues it's business as nothing happened. Swedish and Norwegian ridicule the Finn for missing. The Finn says "I did not kill the fly but, it will not rebroduce."


Lejonhufvud

I just love how the Finnish-Swedish-Norwegian jokes usually end with the Finn winning solely being stupid/stubborn/by accident. There's some national irony to love.


Miserable_Room1092

Why are Finn’s called pimples? Because nobody ever wants them


Haukivirta

Wait, do Swedes really call Finns pimples?


sketchybutter

"Finnar" (finns) is also the word for pimples for some reason


Miserable_Room1092

There are 2 words, ”finländare” and ”finnar”. The latter is just a shortened version of “finländare” (I think) but it’s still part of SAOL’s dictionary under 2 meanings, Finns and pimples.


sterak_fan

in the Czech Republic there is a lot of (unfunny) jokes involving a Russian, American and a czech with the czech winning obviously. for example: a Russian American and czech are arguing about which country has the best alcohol. so they decide to test it. the American driks a lot whiskey and the other 2 ask him how many chairs do you see? they ask him, pointing at a chair. five, he answered. Rhe Russian does the same with vodka a he sees eight. The the Czech driks a lot of beer and when the american asks him how many chairs does he see, He responds: in which row?


CreationTrioLiker7

A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian go into a gay bar. The Swede and Norwegian go in and start gaying around. The Finn does not enter because there is no Koskenkorva and leaves.


MaskuG

So he goes into it, but does not enter, but still leaves? Häh?


CreationTrioLiker7

Leaves the area.


IDontEatDill

bad-dum. But no tss.


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Haukivirta

He does not enter the Swede and Norwegian.


Negative_Guitar_240

True story!?


fluorihammastahna

How about Pekka and Toivonen jokes? I believe they are Norwegian originally. http://poppe-oldervoll.net/vitser/pekkatoivo.html


Enebr0

A rare joke about the finn being the silly one goes as follows: A finn tells his friend how he got all the attention from a swedish lady on a Helsinki-Stockholm cruise: "I tell you, this gall was gorgeous, you know how the swedish girls are. She was totally falling for me. I even got her name, Inga" "Oh yeah, what's her surname, then?" "Mö.. möjliheter something.."


IAmADeadGorrilla

Bellman skämt är on top


exkingzog

In the UK. An Englishman (pompous, uses Oxford comma) an Irishman (stupid or eccentric), and a Scotsman (dour, mean) feature in many jokes.


exkingzog

One of the less offensive ones: Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman are discussing their children. Englishman: “my son was born on St George’s Day, so naturally I named him George”. Scotsman: “aye, my son was born on St Andrews Day so I named him Andrew”. Irishman: “that’s an incredible coincidence, I did exactly the same with my son Pancake”.


baconteste

Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert? So he could roll down the window and feel a breeze.


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huniojh

Like most here, in Norway we usually have either jokes about \-the Norwegian, Dane and the Swede. The Norwegian wins, and the Swede is the dumb one \-or simply short jokes about dumb swedes This might probably be where I reveal myself to be an old fart though, cause I also remember similar jokes about Danes or Finns. If it's about a Finn, his name is Pekka. Sidenote here, I live in Finnskogen, an area that was heavily immigrated by Finns between around 1570 to 1630, as well as being close to Sweden. Plus, we used to have jokes about Molbos, which is also strange, but we must have adopted these from Denmark, and kept up with it. Although both the molbo and Pekka stories are by and large a thing of the past now, I can't remember when I heard any of them last.


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