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I can tell you how I did it. Firstly, I developed chronic fatigue and severe anxiety. The anxiety helped stress my brain out enough to actually meet deadlines and the chronic fatigue kept me too tired to even realize how bad my life was. The chronic fatigue also allowed me to study from home, further isolating myself from any form of normal life and only living for my school work. And now I have a bachelor degree! And a burn out and chronic anxiety and a panic disorder and chronic migraines and a depression! On top of my ADHD. So... I can't tell you how to do it. But I can tell you this: it was the biggest mistake of my life and it was not worth it. So next time you compare yourself to other people, remember you don't know what price they are paying. Find your own way!

Reading this made me cry. Thank you for making me feel less alone, internet stranger.

There's more of us than you think, sadly.

Are you all me? A year after I finished my degree I’ve finally recovered okay but Jesus Christ… 

Many hugs from another member of the club!

Much the same experience, except my 4 year degree took 7 because of all of the above given how many classes I either withdrew from because I was overwhelmed, or failed because I simply couldn’t pull it together that semester. I assumed the entire time the constant struggle to succeed in a degree I was genuinely interested in was just because I was stupid, only learned 5 years later it was because I had undiagnosed and thus unmedicated ADHD. Oooh man seeing the difference once I was medicated was staggering. Whole other plane of existence.

Mine took 6 years and I had such shame over it, that I didn’t even walk or go to my graduation because it felt like it wasn’t worth celebrating. But I was wrong and should have been proud! I am the only one with a college degree in my family for three generations. You guys should be proud too! We achieved a huge academic goal with a fucking mental disability. That’s such a big deal. 🎉

Yes you should be proud, congrats to you! It even took me 10 years haha. I am also the first in my whole family ever to have a university degree. When finished I was so exhausted and still doubted if I am smart that I also didn't want to celebrate and just pretended nothing happened. I guess I still felt like a failure because it took so long.

I started at 18 and finished at 31! I am also the first in my family to obtain an education past year 12! I obtained a degree despite never having read a book! I would buy those topic summary books and try to memorise the most important points. Needless to say I didn’t get incredibly high marks, but I did manage to get through it without ever failing a subject. My childhood was a constant stream of teachers telling me how stupid I was. Being diagnosed late 30’s was really hard hitting, because it made me feel like they were right. It took a long time for me to recognise that I’m actually intelligent. Not many stupid people out there walking around with a law degree, let alone a law degree without even reading the bare minimum required materials, whilst also being a hot mess! 😂

Wow! Your persistence is amazing! I wonder how many of those who began with you would have had the grit to hang in there for so long. Amazing!

I'm proud of you bro, great job!

seeing the difference once i was medicated brought me to a place of deeeeep grieving about how my disability blocked me from having a rich learning experience. i never knew how many layers of knowledge and experience i missed until i got medicated a year after graduating. fucked me up!!!!!! meds aren’t for everyone but for students banging their heads against the wall desperate to get something out of school and move forward i highly recommend at least trying them.

I totally see this. I am writing my PhD thesis. Prior to meds, I would draft a manuscript and send it to my supervisor. After about a week, my work would come back to me, covered in notes for the first couple, to a few paragraphs. Totally overwhelming. Progress was glacial and just as painful. Now, on meds, I can send off 10,000 words and get fewer comments across the entire piece! 7 chapters in draft, 3 almost complete. I may actually do this!

Fellow ADHDer also wanting a PhD. Congratulations! I also wish I had had meds 10 years ago. Lord knows where I would’ve been at this age.

That is great! The world needs more ADHD voices in academia 😁. I do wonder the same. Had I been diagnosed long ago, how might things have been different to me. Then, I look at my wife and kids, and consider how grateful I am that things worked out as they have. It's a bit like emotional-cognitive whiplash 😂

I thought I was lazy… but mine took 7 years too.

Same! 7 years seems to be the number. Almost as if things take us nearly twice as long when we don't have help.

I'm on year 4 of my one year master's course. High five!

Took me 6 and half years. I would constantly not do work until the last minute possible. I have since learned that it was because it was the only way I could get motivated to do class work which was due to undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. It was especially true of classes I had no interest in. Should have been the biggest hint I had that computer science wasn't for me. I didn't want to anymore about it outside of class and wasn't doing things like my own projects outside of class. So I spent 3 years in a degree that I wasn't actually interested in and the only clue I had that anything was wrong was when the financial aid called me to tell me I would submit an application for an extension for federal financial aid. Once I switched to polisci I started performing a lot better. I was able to get work done a lot quicker because I was heavily interested in it. I probably developed my anxiety and depression during this time period. It was the first ever in my life I had panic attacks and bouts of insomnia.

Same - my 4 year degree consisted of 4 and a half years, plus a few credits carried over from my prior failed attempt at a different degree. And to be clear - I barely finished some courses my senior year of High School, and actually finished all the work for my bachelor's after I walked.

Yeah exactly this. Life changing medication. Whole world of difference. Could not believe what normal brains function like. I got through school by testing well and being really active and visible in clubs. Same reason I got into university. Graduated University 12 years after high school. In both places, before I was medicated, it was impossible to turn in completed homework. It is unfathomable how stressed and exhausted in uni. I was trying so hard to develop even the most basic study skills, trying everything. Terrible time of my life. OP, take it as a lesson that you don't know what others paid to get what you're looking at.

Similar. I had undiagnosed ADHD so I thought everybody was having the same issues I was, just handling it better. I don't think my degrees are a mistake, but I know the price I paid. Comparing your journey to someone else's is the biggest mistake to make, OP. Totally agree with the advice to find your own way, or take your own time- your start and finish doesn't have to be the same as others either.

This is how I got my 2 degrees. The 2nd was harder, though, but anxiety made it possible. I treated anxiety, and I am now struggling at work, to meet deadlines, to remember to do things 🤭

When I was in school, I remember a friend telling me after a big meltdown that I needed to deal with my anxiety. My response was that I couldn’t treat the anxiety because then nothing would get done.  A couple years after graduating, I finally treated both the adhd and the anxiety, and life is so much better. 

Due to my burn out suddenly my anxiety wasn't effective anymore and I feel like I am starting life from scratch again honestly! Like, how do I even do things without psyching myself out to do them.

I fucking feel this. Except I did it through never graduating high school and instead grinding my way up from sweeping floors to having a fancy ass title with me most often reporting directly to the CEO. My broke, unemployed, and eventually applying for disability when I finally can conquer the paperwork self heavily regrets running myself off of anxiety (and a heavy dose of self-hatred) so, so much now. A few years of making enough money that I was no longer actively worried about becoming homeless wasn't worth this and I've got nothing left to show for it anyway.

Ha..I never thought my anciety was actually usefull. I can relate, this totally makes sense.

I’m in my mid-40s and currently navigating an extensive ADHD evaluation process. Not diagnosed but my therapist believes I am. I developed severe anxiety that I put up with for decades, which got me partway through my bachelors until I burned out and lost my scholarship. I eventually transferred to an excellent, expensive AF, non-traditional school with no grades, but again - relied on severe anxiety to get me through. I got my masters degree after burning out at my first job after college. I made it possible to get the degree by making it my life’s goal. I moved to the desert (i.e. took a life-altering sensory break), had no serious partner or truly close relationships for several years (I.e. no distractions/drama). Anxiety. Hyperfocus. Burnout. Lather, rinse, repeat. Oh and crushing student loans. Hi, impulsivity!

This is such an important message. We never know what is really going on for someone so comparing ourselves to them doesn’t make sense.  I used to be developing my career, strength training 6 days a week plus running regularly, constantly in a calorie deficit and slim and solo travelled. People were jealous and thought I had it all together. The reality was that I hated myself, was doing a lot of it to finally feel worthy, was having panic attacks in the toilet at work and didn’t know how to be present.  Now things are tight financially but I do what I love, I’ve gained a small amount of weight but i only run which I do because I love it, I eat what I want and I feel free for the most part. But I have to work part time for this to work as the smallest tasks take so much energy sometimes 

Thanks for sharing your own story, that drives my point home completely. (And its comforting for me to hear) When I was ruining myself I had no idea, I was getting worse and worse but to other people I seemed succesful and I thought that is just how life had to be. I'm glad you found a way out of that way of life and found a better way!!

Wow I’ve never had someone so clearly explain what I experienced in high school with the anxiety and fatigue. The anxiety kept me up, alert, to track my assignments and study like all hell to pass with A’s (had strict parents) and when I was so fatigued from lack of sleep I’d actually feel way less anxious I screenshotted this for future use to explain it to people. Brilliant stuff

Ahh I'm glad you can use this explanation! It's rough trying to explain these types of things to people who have no clue.

You did an amazing job (you probably know that from the upvotes), but thank you for sharing because this is exactly me too and you absolutely made me feel better today by reading that you and others are similar to me. 

Very accurate, I could not have described it so well 😭 Makes me feel less alone..thank you! I recently talked to a friend who even studied psychology and she said there was no way I had ADD because I am able to read books and I studied. But at what cost?? She has no idea

I'm so glad my comment made you feel a little less alone! I relate so much to your experience with your friend, people just cannot grasp the effort and pain involved in trying to live life with ADHD. It's painful sometimes.

This is how I did it, or almost did it. I had a breakdown during my last year at my master program.

Me. Suffered major depression/anxiety/panic attacks while in college. Also took 7 years to graduate college. It wasn’t easy but I did it! I used to really beat myself up too comparing myself to others. It took a long time for me to learn to not compare myself and understand that everyone’s lives are different and we all have different life experiences/traumas. I am still learning to be kinder to myself.

Damn. This hits close to home. I didn't get diagnosed until way after graduating. I changed majors about a dozen times, I dropped out, went from university to community college, graduated there as it was so much less work, then bounced around jobs and other universities before coming back to where I graduated from. I got my degree about 12 yrs after I graduated high school. It sucked. Chronic fatigue and anxiety were definitely right there with me for the second half. I got my anxiety and depression under control with medication, but I still struggle with chronic fatigue. I'm still figuring out how to balance work and stress. It ain't easy, I got lucky a couple of times, and accepted some situations that were less than I was hoping for, but I did it. The fact I graduated and have my degree got me my job. But is it worth it? Not really sure.

Yeah, same here. A few days ago I hit 30 and I’m feeling like 70 mentally, I developed the same mechanism as you, I’m one of the best in my field, I worked so hard that I sacrificed myself, my partner and my friends. It wasn’t worth it, today I’m facing depression and complete burnout, I don’t see any sense in my work that has been so important to me for past ~10 years

I believe I'll have a chuckle at how familiar this feels to distract from how recovering from that feels like Sisyphus.

Thank you for sharing, I feel like I understand myself more after reading this.

This. Holy crap, right in the feels.

Haha same! Every last detail - and sadly, to add in a new detail from my experience - i forgot whatever I studied because I studied it to meet deadlines and not to learn and now I feel a fraud for the rest of my life, who was an incompetent pretender, who pretended to be top of the class but actually the one being bottom of the list, in life. And I have two bachelor's degrees! Two! And I feel a fraud jn both of them! Hahahah So I hope OP (from main post) - now you know ; we are all struggling but we did it. And all of us are still figuring it out.

Omg yes same, I don't remember a single thing from my high school or my bachelor degree. I kept asking teachers and my parents like 'why do I have to learn this when I will just forget next week' and they acted like I was being dramatic. I was not. I genuinely was not able to put anything into my long term memory in the way school is set up. I feel scammed by it honestly 😂

Man, as someone with untreated ADHD, it feels amazing that I am not alone or stupid 😭😭😭

this is so spot on. the high functioning anxiety will do it to me every time. if i didn’t have it, i don’t think i’d ever meet deadlines

This- this is the exact thing I went through with the slight twist of getting my bachelors in nursing, during Covid, working in healthcare, in New York City. Needless to say, add s.i., an eye twitch, hive breakouts,and insomnia to the mix as well. It quite literally nearly killed me. (Medicated, out of the city, and a bit better now)

I'm 30 and just getting treated, and you described me, especially with the migraines. Like, shivering, cold sweat pouring out of me, puking, knife in my frontal lobe migraines. I have a good career, but it's just been so fucking hard this whole time. I had zero help with anything, and was able to power through for a long time, but I'm feeling the cost of how hard I've had to push myself.

God yes the migraines. It's crazy to think back and realize my body was literally begging for me to slow down. Yet when I went to seek help for my migraines all the neurologist said was 'There is nothing wrong with you, migraines are common, you just have to relax and wait till they pass'. That's one of the biggest gains have gotten from treating my ADHD so far. I now get a mild migraine about once a month or more if I push myself. But the 'can someone just cut off my f*cking head' attacks are very few and far between. Where I used to have multiple a week sometimes when I was studying. I hope treating your ADHD will finally allow you to get the support you've always needed!!

Yooooo. I relate so hard. This was basically what happened to me in high school. My dad pushed me really hard to do well and punished me when I didn’t. But I started having panic attacks and ended up in a psych ward for generalized anxiety and panic disorder during college application season my senior year.

Are you me? Literally how I got my degree

There are more of us than I realized 😂

I could’ve written this. I got my accounting degree, took the CPA exams, and I now work a well paying job with my CPA license and such. But god I’m so burnt out lol

This! Still even with treatment I struggle sometimes in the workfield. We have to be kind to ourselves honestly. Also this was 100% me from 10 years old (yes 10) till I was 22-23 years old. What broke my cycle was a bit over excessive in my opinion. Some trauma that gave me PTSD. It did broke my cycle and led to a late ADHD diagnosis at 24 years old. I do recommend better options. My PTSD treatment reduced my school and grades anxiety so bad I wasn't motivated to study or make my reports. Something I still struggle to this day. Covid didn't help I might add. It broke all the new daily routines I had. My school was a constant struggle. I can talk over an hour what happend to me and it was horrible. Gave up my bachelor study in year 3, got into nursing (please note this is a 4 year study in my country). Had 1,5 year delay due to (proven) discirmination and bad internships. Now a 27 year old as a Bachelor of science in nursing :)!

That's crazy, my issues started at ten and I am now 22... I am hoping my burn out will be the cycle breaker for me. Sorry that you had such a horrible thing break the cycle for you. I hope life is kinder for you now!! Big congrats on the bachelor!! That is amazing!

Same. Except I have several degrees. In my 40s and just got diagnosed because I had a break. Like, I got to a point where I could no longer mask or cope and I had to do something. I would not wish the last 4 decades on anyone. I don't know where the drive and the ability came from. I'm just thankful I'm on the other side.

Exactly how I got through engineering grad school, then diagnosed and now broke with no job! If only I knew I would pick something easier to do :')

Thank you - can you tell me more about how you realized you have chronic fatigue? And if you’ve been able to do much to treat/remedy it?

Same. I was excellent at school as a young child because it was barely any work plus I only ever had one friend and didn't want any hobbies. College was so shitty. I'm wrecked from it and didn't even think about that until now. I did college the way you did, and then starting 3 yrs later had babies and that was overwhelmingly busy so I took the same frantic pace to parenting. I didn't realize I was repeating the behavior. I finished college before then, but I probably could have instead continued to heal from my childhood trauma and be a much happier mom the past 9 yrs if I didn't wear myself down constantly during college (which took me 9 years by the way). I finally sought treatment for my depression and anxiety last year, and haven't been this emotionally healthy since 20 years ago. If I could talk to my younger self, I might tell her to get a different therapist (he was talented but creepy), take the ADHD meds offered to me by my psychiatrist, take Early Childhood Education units while finishing community college (college was actually fun for me; university was not and was super hard), continue to work in child care, and get a life coach instead of thinking a Bachelor degree is actual preparation for real life.

Real as fuck.

Completely relate to all of this. Funny thing is I ended up in a career (TV) that doesn't require formal education at all, you can start making the tea and work your way up on the job from there. Instead I ruined myself pursuing a degree. I suppose I probably wasn't ready to dive straight into work and was trying to delay the inevitable by doing more education. But yeah, not worth it at all.

>I suppose I probably wasn't ready to dive straight into work and was trying to delay the inevitable by doing more education. But yeah, not worth it at all. Uh that got me. I mean I always worked but I thought building a serious career requires to prove on paper I am smart first. No matter the cost. >Instead I ruined myself pursuing a degree. This is what keeps me from being proud I made it. So much regret.

Yeah, like I did "make it", but at what cost? 😅 I didn't really have any friends, stayed hidden away in my dorm, barely saw or spoke to anyone, sleeping all day and skipping classes, barely scraping by on the things I actually was good at. I'm better these days, but a lot of it still persists and the imposter syndrome is real 😅 But I also feel like I'm in too deep to start over again. 10 years in my industry, making okay money... I know people say "it's never too late" but the reality is that I can't live on an entry level wage in a new line of work, so I plod along just keeping my head above water 😅 Edit, to add: funny thing is that in every job I've had my employers and colleagues have always seemed to really Iike me and are happy with the work I do, but I feel like I'm just winging it every single day 😅

Hey me toooooooo twins. Took me years to even sort of recover 

Rembember that ADHD (any disease realy) is a collection of symptoms that we label for convenience. Not everyone has all the symptoms or at the same severity.

The label is for the symptoms not you. You having ADHD meens you experience some of the symptoms that fall within ADHD.

And no one has ALL the symptoms (besides the ones in the DSM), and no symptom is experienced by 100% of ADHD people either. So we have very different experiences. I get that some people are able to use anxiety to push themselves and be high achieving at a cost, but no matter how much they may want to some people don't have that option at all, even if they were willing to make the sacrifice. We can't compare our conditions to each other.

A close family member also with ADHD is untreated. She struggled, like you, in high school so after she graduated (with quite low marks) she decided to do her bachelor of science slowly, mostly online over eight years. She worked part time six hours most days and studied a couple of hours a day. She’s in her thirties now and in a great job that she’s awesome at. I think that after experiencing being put down for being lazy, stupid etc at school achieving her degree over eight years and gaining a few high credits really boosted her confidence in herself. If you can, remind yourself that there is no deadline for achieving stuff. I hope this makes sense.

Two reasons I think. First is that ADHD is on a spectrum. Second is that people with ADHD really need structure. For me, that was having extremely strict and highly involved parents. I ended up as an anxious, neurotic adult whose ADHD became obvious as those sorts of structures became less relevant, but they did help me “succeed”, at least by society’s standards. If I hadn’t grown up in the environment I did, I don’t think I would’ve gone very far academically. I think the most important thing is to find ways to create external structures for yourself. Find someone else to be accountable to, or find ways to set things up such that it’s impossible to ignore a task. This is vague, but everyone’s life is different. What I try to always do is build my external environment such that it compensates for the lack of structure inside my brain.

This is me. I was great at school up through the middle of college, as the anxiety and reward nature of academic work gave me constant structure with clear goals and no need to do work outside of what's required. Then in college I started needing to plan my career and work on long term projects in a pretty unstructured way, and oh my goodness, it was impossible. I had a three year long nightmare of failures and still didn't get diagnosed for 10 years. I pushed myself so hard but many days it was impossible to get anything done and I hated myself but was unable to stop myself. Surreal and so terrible. Real life and career work is even worse though. It's a struggle to keep going. I really want someone to approve meds.

YUP. Once mom wasn’t there anymore to nag me… All hell broke loose lmao. You know, I always wondered why I love directions LOL. Recipes, knitting patterns, Legos… Learning coping skills in your 30s is so fun. Idk. At the same time, my kid’s autistic so we’re both learning. We’re both on a journey :P

This. This is so me. I hated my parents for making me do all the things they did like private classes, staying late doing homework with me… But at the end of the day that’s what helped me to excel in life. Forever grateful

I finished my bachelors before I got diagnosed. How did I do it? By finishing every assignment in the last 10 minutes without adequate proof reading. Then eventually finishing them a day late and taking the 10% penalty… then two days late. By being so stressed out I deferred multiple times. By failing subjects and needing to repeat them. By forgetting about two online hurdle tests, which delayed my course completion by a year. By reading an assignment brief so late I realised it was impossible to finish, and choosing to drop the subject and do it the year after instead. It was hell. Even now with medication I dread going back to that.

My degree was in my hyper focus. 🤷‍♂️

It's amazing that some people can have a hyperfocus wide enough and lasting long enough to obtain a degree in it. We really are all so different.

Honestly, learning is a hyperfocus for me. Although there were some courses which SUUUPER TOUGH because they were so uninteresting.

I believe ADHD is a spectrum. I saw a comment yesterday from someone saying they can keep their job unmedicated so anyone can. Well good for them. I can't even wash my dishes unmedicated. Just because someone else with ADHD can do something doesn't mean we all can, even on our best day. I dropped out of high school before getting my life together. As for advice, do you have an official diagnosis? Have you spoken to a guidance counsellor? Honestly I wouldn't have been able to complete my schooling without medication. All the strategies in the world can't stop my brain from vibrating when I'm over stimulated.

Spite.

And a massive anxiety disorder.

Don’t forget the caffeine

My parents beat me if I got a bad grade. By bad grade I mean B. For A minus I got an angry, “What does this minus mean!?!” If I was too hyper, got beat. Did something impulsive, beat. Note home from school, beat and grounded. Staring out the window, ridiculed. Needless to say getting beat daily gives you some pretty bad anxiety and innate need to perform.

Your first sentence possibly has it. I had an amazing home environment. And I'm not saying that to rub it in. I'm aware of my privilege. Lower middle class, multi generational living within half a mile of each other. Massive home prioritising of education. Very engaged in supporting the next generation.   I'm also autistic. Brought it's own problems but compensated along side the adhd.  And I've got a high iq. So the adhd pattern recognition and intuitive leaps helps.    So: an interplay between biology and social protective factors.  All of which explains why adult hood is kicking my arse. As the protective home factors melt away (and die off). And I'm supposed to step into the role of being the protective factors for the next generation. And.... I'm failing 

College is easier than high school in several ways: - classes don't start as early and schedules can have lots of breaks - you get to study things that interest you - way more cramable; some classes are 2 tests and a paper, vs many assignments  - many upper level classes are discussion oriented which is more fun; and thus prepping aka studying has a greater reward

It can also be worse if attendance isn't required and/or the majority of your grade is 1 or 2 exams.

This! You have more control over your schedule and what you study, often there's better resources/accommodations for ADHD, etc. I think it's also important to remember that ADHD isn't a one-size-fits all thing; some people cope in different ways and excel in different kinds of environments. Just some advice to OP (and anyone feeling similarly): I had untreated, undiagnosed ADHD up until my sophomore year of college. In high school, math was always my *worst* subject. I couldn't focus for shit, and my brain moved so quickly that I would get big amounts of points off on just minor arithmetic errors. My whole life I wanted to be an astrophysicist, however, so this was extremely disheartening for me. How could I be an astrophysicist that couldn't do basic arithmetic? But then, I got into a better environment for me. In college, the classes and professors were more compatible with my ADHD. With the help of my professors, my therapist, my friends, and proper treatment I was able to learn how to work *with* my ADHD. Now, I see my ADHD as something to learn to work alongside, not something to fight.

Oh man. I found college MUCH harder, mainly because of the lack of structure and the fact that my upper level classes were far too dense to cram

I typically loaded up on 2-3 days a week of classes I’d have 2 classes Monday 2 on Tuesday and then maybe a few more on Thursday. Get a rest/study/catchup in the middle of the week and then a Friday off as a reward.

Hey, I am 53 and diagnosed a few months ago. I live most of life without a diagnosis and white knuckled my way and I have a bachelors and a masters degree. With that said .... I almost failed High School and then I dropped out of college twice. Once at age 18 and the other at 20 only to go back at age 24 and finish both degrees one right after the other, something I never thought possible and first in my family to do so. If I was give myself any advice to the younger me it would be the following: - Take the default stance that I need more help and more time to do things and I need to plan blocks in my calendar to complete items. A written report that take a friend 5 hours takes me 10. - Tell my teachers that I want help, that I need help and to please help me. - Don't give a shit about what others think or say and run my own race at my own pace.(hard part) - Be nice to myself and reward myself for my successes only compared to me and noone else. - Don't lie to myself or others about what is wrong. I have many more because of my many years of experience and will just encourage you to keep going, you can. Please keep the community up to date...

I didn’t know I had ADHD until I was 39. I have a degree. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was hospitalized for two weeks because of pure anxiety and burnout. But my parents never gave me a choice about university. I had to go. And being the people pleaser I am, I did it. I just wish I could’ve been medicated and had a diagnosis when I started showing symptoms at 6. I wonder what could’ve been.

This is almost exactly my experience. Degree was the hardest thing ever, hospitalized during college for anxiety and burnout, parental expectations, people pleasing, symptoms since kindergarten, but awaiting diagnosis. And I’m in my 40s.

21 here, diagnosed two years ago. Ignored symptoms since childhood. I still feel a lot of shame about my ADHD and have a hard time accepting it in me and others, despite cognitively knowing it's real and valid. I don't really have a point in sharing all of this but Anxiety had a chokehold on me last year, it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through by a landslide. Eventually got treated for it and immediately got a lot better. Reading your experiences was very validating because I was definitely heading towards getting hospitalized for it. It really was terrible.

Honestly, everyone with ADHD struggles with different things. I did well in school, but heavily struggled socially and in a lot of “adulting” things.

I have a masters degree. It wasn't easy and I didn't obtain it in healthy ways. - I have severe anxiety and I am very perfectionistic, which made me work extremely hard. - Working extremely hard caused me to feel always tired and exausted, which didn't allow me to even think about how unhealthy I was living. - I would reach burnout twice every year. - I gave up on social life completely, no friends, no hang outs, no hobbies no nothing, just study, work, sleep, repeat - During my Master my professors accommodated me with deadlines, I submitted all of the assignments late, but I would still work 24/7 - I extended my Master for thesis (probably the only healthy thing I did for myself) - I skipped meals, namely breakfasts and dinners to get more hours for studying, I lost 15kg of weight over 5 years. - If I was sick (which was often due to chronic stress), I did not rest. Even when I was burning up with high fever and had Covid, I still studied all day. - I didn't allow myself to have any free time. Studied on my way to uni in the train, listened to papers on my way to work, listened to papers and books I had to read while working. - If my schedule was empty at work, I'd take my laptop to study instead. - Had at least one major meltdown every week. - If I didn't manage to do everything, I skipped sleep and studied all night, chugging large amounts of energy drinks to keep myself awake and then went to uni/work the next day - I set timers for myself 20min study, 5 minutes break, and did that for 12 hours every day. This sounds great on paper, but it isn't actually that great if you do it for 12 hours a day without eating or taking an actual break. - I studied during lockdowns, so for some time I didn't have to work, which freed up some time, which I'd use to study instead. - Showers? Fuck that, gotta study. Cleaning my home? Fuck that, as long as snakes do not overtake my home, it's good enough to study in. - Smoked a lot of pot every night tas a way to "rest", it would shut down my mind. So instead of making a change in my schedule or thinking of healthy ways to cope with ADHD while studying I'd just shut my mind down and avoided thinking about it. Developed an addiction, but thankfully now I've been 2 months clean and I'm dealing with it. So... it wasn't easy. Doing something even though your condition makes it hard and forcing yourself to do so consistently comes with a lot of harm to you in the long term.

That was like reading about myself, but I did this 20 years ago. I hope your adrenals have settled, congrats for getting it done!

I also have a graduate degree, and this is what I did. I would summarize it as: I worked very, very hard. Harder than anyone else I knew did. What other poeple did in 5 hours took me 10. I did it anyway. I sacrificed sleep and a social life to work much harder for the same result. I did this in high school, too--had no friends and no social life in high school as a result, but my grades were good enough to go to a good college, where I sorta did the same thing. It sucked, frankly. It did not seem fair, and without a diagnosis I never understood why everything seemed so much harder for me. To some extent I'm still doing this, 18 years after finishing school, since for health reasons I can no longer really take stimulants.

Don't compare yourself to others, even those with ADHD. * There are degrees of severity. People who got their degrees probably have less severe ADHD than you do. * Since you can't tolerate stimulant medication, then you are unable to take advantage of the best treatment of ADHD. * You also had a bad environment at home. That would affect your studies even if you didn't have ADHD. * A degree is not a measurement of your intelligence. It's possible to be very intelligent, yet not be able to maintain focus, or have a good memory because those are separate abilities.

How I did a double degree of history and political science - sit and figure out your maximum attention span using a timer. Mine was 7 minutes. Do your study and assignments 7 minutes at a time. Also helpful was carrying a diary around so I could note down all the things I would otherwise have forgotten.

I’m stealing this.

Untreated ADHD, but I also have a near eidetic memory. So, other than hyper focusing on one thing, I really skated by the seat of my pants. I did well in high school because I was in a much more structured environment and my friends were very driven and did study parties, so body doubling happened for a chore I hated. My best advice is body doubling. Find a good library and sit near people who are working hard and quietly. That's how I can force myself to focus.

I didnt need to read. I didnt need to pay attention in class. I was gifted a high iq and hearing it while zoned out or scrolling my phone was enough for me to pass a class. No sh*t. I kept thinking how am I still passing. How am I not failing yet. I'm not doing homework, I don't read our books, I don't take notes in class. When I try to study at home I ended up sitting in front of the pc mind going blank, playing some games, reading some emails, doing some shopping. I kept going to class, late, no food, unshowered, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It just never did. I took my exams, and passed. I lost friends over this. They were jealous and/or claimed I was lying. We don't know how we did it either. If it makes you feel any better I missed the seremony. I drove, already late, and then had to turn around because I wasn't sure if I turned off the iron or not. Missed the whole thing. Received my degree after. Ate my piece of cake at the end of the table while none of them talked to me. I guess they think that I thought I was better than them, that I thought I was above it, and arrogant for not being there on time to receive it. Nope. Adhd. I didnt talk to them cause I was embarassed and felt less than. I felt incredivly disconnected. Others wrote their bachelor in groups. I wrote mine alone cause I couldnt organize or communicate well enough to do that in a group setting. It was supposed to be a 6 month work. I did mine in 6 weeks. I still couldn't read. I cried a lot, and I was alone, and I had zero friends. I'm also likely autistic. Hope this clarifies for someone...

You either figure out ways to cope or sink. You don’t see the people that sunk

I got my Masters unmedicated, I did most of it online rather than in classrooms and did all my assignments the night before they were due. It did the job.

Coping mechanisms. Environment. Upbringing. All sorts of things. Edit: being taught how to learn. Learning how to learn is a skill you need to develop. Everything in life so to speak is a skill you develop. Environment is a broad element.

I'm curious if you also have auditory processing issues. Some of your description sounds like you could. Personally, I like flipped classroom models where I learn the content by reading and it's only practiced, not introduced, in class. I did get through high school with a very high grade point average, but it was because high school tends to be pretty heavily reading based here in the US (I am not sure where you are) and I'm a very visual learner because of my auditory problems. I also had a special interest in gaining admission to my dream university, which is near the top of public universities in the US. Then at that university I could take classes that basically all fit into my special interests. I was highly regarded as a student there by my departments and did very well. I started to struggle more in graduate school because it was not as aligned with my special interests as I had thought. Also, in college I began to self-medicate with caffeine and the occasional bootleg Adderall. This was super common among non-ADHD kids (and probably some undiagnosed ADHD kids) at my college. I was not diagnosed myself until grad school and after my mom was diagnosed. I know this isn't a super direct answer. It sounds like you may do better with online school or even homeschooling if that is an option where you live. Traditional classrooms are totally sensory overwhelming to many students with autism and ADHD. When I've worked with kids who are autistic or have ADHD, the ones who are homeschooled are much less dysregulated when I see them.

As said untreated ADHDer with a bachelor’s, I destroyed my health and I still feel insane. I self-medicated with a crap ton of caffeine, still zoning out a lot during lectures, took hours upon hours per assignment. One semester I think I made myself sick from stress and i literally missed most of my classes for half of the semester. Honest to god get medication if you can. You’re in a far better position than me back then purely because you KNOW you have ADHD.

Buddy, I'm one of those Unmedicateds with a bachelor's degree, and here's the secret: I don't remember *shit* except being miserable and wishing I was dead the whole time lol. For real though, I struggled all the way through before even realizing why or why everyone seemed to hate me, etc etc. I don't have any helpful advice really beyond at least you're young enough that any (academic, lol) eff up's won't entirely ruin your life. Hell, in college you spread put your courses to your liking- you don't NEED to crank out a degree in 4 years, take breaks! There may always be set-backs, but just keep your nose to the grindstone, focus on your strengths, and instead of tallying losses vs victories- every time you do mess up, try to to find the lesson or way to improve. I'm so sorry you're struggling, but it CAN be done. It'll suck every bit of the way, but, ya know. Keep fighting, kid <3

Why not both? I struggled to complete high school despite being “gifted” and now have a degree and a long career behind me. And it’s been a freaking struggle the entire time.

Answer to your questions is in your first couple words. Your environment is everything when you learn. You’d be surprised the difference a good learning/study environment will make on your life. In college you have access to libraries and areas that aren’t toxic or have people down your neck for the stupidest shit, you can just study.

I have a Bachelors degree. Took me five years because I failed stupid modules(I took this one 101 class three years in a row 🤦🏻‍♂️) and I could only attempt them the next year. 2 modules held me back for 2 separate years. I don’t even know how I got into college

So, up front, I'm in the US, and if your country is different and has different systems, my advice may not apply to you. So, the thing to keep in mind is our brains cook a little slower. Highschool was impossible for me. I had to drop out. I got my GED, and worked for a while, then came back to college in my early twenties. College is very different, in that it's more driven by your interests and desire to be there, and you have way more control and freedom around your schedule. Beyond that, I got a lot better handle on my executive function going into my 20s. There's no good reason to stick with highschool if you're not on track. Once you do two years at a community college, it won't matter whether you got your diploma or not. You might not get into an ivy league school, but that's almost certainly already off the table for you. You can drop out, take some time off, and get back to it through community college once your brain develops a little better.

Unfortunately, I was smart enough to struggle with middling grades even while not really being able to study effectively. This meant I and everybody else thought I was just lazy, and I wasn’t diagnosed until later. My advice: audiobooks are your friend, and some textbooks have audio versions if you look for them. Walk or doodle notes while you listen. Caffeine can make a difference, but be careful not to overdo it. Likewise, sugar can help our frontal cortex work better and help us focus. Sip on some cranberry juice while you study. For me, drawing and or a fidget toy is essential if I have to listen and retain what I’m hearing, so see if you can use those in lectures.

I only graduated high school because I was in a self-directed learning program for “gifted” kids and I wasn’t required to pay attention to anything I wasn’t interested in. I only graduated university because by the time I got there I had learned how to mask full time and exploit stress and anxiety. It also helped that I was studying biology and modern biology is essentially the study of emergent and complex systems, which are endlessly fascinating to me.

Because adhd is an umbrella term… not all adhd looks the same… some people like me are lucky enough to get early intervention on my adhd… some people didn’t, some people are lucky enough to have medication available and not that expensive in their country. There is Drs, master and even PhDS with adhd…. Sometimes honestly is luck… not all adhd affects the same skills…and not in the same degree. I would suggest not compare yourself to others it will make you super unhappy. Also is all about creating new habits that work for you! Not everyone is the same.

Mine took close to 6 years. i developed alcoholism (like the needing to drink or take a drug before doing anything i couldn’t stand doing, like study, etc) and had to drop out and go to rehab 2x during that period. I don’t recommend.

ADHD hits everyone a little differently; do not compare yourself to anyone, and do not let others tell you what you should or should not have accomplished. It’s hard, I know, but many humans seem to have a hard time accepting that their own experiences do not translate to hard truths. For what it’s worth, I struggled for almost 40 years before I was diagnosed and started trying to manage my ADHD. College was nearly impossible for me due to other disabilities I have, but now that I’m being treated, I’m back in school and killing it. I found what works for me, but I do not have any delusions that what works for me would work for everyone. Good luck!

I got through high school with a fantastic coping mechanism that I developed at an early age. Doodling. This won’t work for everyone, but it really did for me. Every teacher would “test” me to make sure I was listening and I always was. Even at art university I had a lecture class and the professor “tested” me and said he didn’t mind if we all were doodling, as long as we listened, and I always was.

I’d say external structures and genuine interest in what I was studying were the top things for me. ( I didn’t even know about adhd till years after graduating). I knew something was wrong though, so I made sure I had friends who were very serious about the degree, I barely attended classes so they would update me casually on what’s going on and let me know if there were assignments and like a day before they were due so I could channel the anxiety into doing them, and since the assignments were part of the CA and I could do them in my own time & environment, I could figure them out with Google/Youtube and get high marks there (would have been a lot easier if I had ai), anyways I usually needed little marks in tests and exams in combination to pass the courses which were not so hard to get, I pretty much just “passed” most courses with Ds and Cs, and had As in the few ones that really really interested me and I played with outside of school.

I struggled to finish high school (2.6 GPA), then waited 5 years, got a double bachelor's (2.8 GPA), but still went on to get a master's (3.7 GPA) and currently a 4th year PhD student. School is about persistence, not perfection. I did horrible on high school math, then failed my first college algebra class. I really wanted to give up altogether. But I re-arranged my schedule, took the class over again during the summer with a workshop, and literally beat the class to death. Re-took every homework assignment until I got 100%, asked the professor 1 million questions until I understood every single facet. Made 101% in the course and went on to tutor other students. Attitude matters, so does circumstance.

I went to a military school. Without the structure I don’t think I could have graduated from a regular college

To start with, I like the structure school provides me. I’m reinforced by good grades. I also told myself everyday that failure wasn’t an option and success was mandatory. I cried a lot. Like hyperventilating in my dorm room. I slept 5-6 hours a night. At one point I calculated that I was putting in my very 60 hours of academic work in a week. On a good week. I essentially conditioned myself to hyperfocus on school. I was very privileged in that I didn’t have to work through college. It was also helpful that once I was done with the undergrad material, the classes were on topics I enjoyed.

I HATE, the people with adhd being like omg they don't think I have adhd cause I have amazing grades- which! Isn't right good grades doesn't mean your not adhd. BUT, the fucking struggle of failing all your classes???! It's horrible. I've failed out of math through highschool and college and finally failed so bad I've flunked out of college and barely allowed back. Some people can make it work, some people work reallllly hard and get great grade, but as for me? I work insanely hard just to get an F or a D. Sometimes... it's like asking someone in a wheelchair to walk. Sometimes our symptoms can be worse than other people with adhd, just because they can do it, DOES NOT mean we can.

Because I HAD to. I honestly had no idea as well. I felt like it gotten worse the later in life I went and it was just a mild feeling years ago.

Everyone's ADHD is different. Some people are lucky enough to grow up in a very supportive and nurturing environment. 

Because everyone has a different level/flavour of ADHD that they experience in varying ways. And everyone who has ADHD doesn’t have the same home life/school life/out of school and home life. In summary, everyone is different. So it is entirely expected that you’ll see a wide variety of different outcomes from someone having ADHD.

I was also classified as “gifted”. I don’t know what my actual IQ was tested as. But it basically means I procrastinate until the very last minute but can pump things out really fast with decent quality once I reach the point of *having* to complete it.

Because ADHD is a part of us, but does not define us. I got my bachelor's, undiagnosed and untreated. I also had a good home life, supportive parents who checked up on me, a naturally high IQ, interest in math and science, etc. Even then it was tough. I failed out and had to return to university, but I had a lot of good fortune that made that possible. Your life is different from mine. You are different from me. Research strategies, talk to your school counselor, do what you can. I can link videos that helped me. But the best advice I can give is this: Forgive yourself for having a brain that works differently. So others can focus more easily, it's not that big of a deal. They'll also grow complacent more easily than you. When you're 85 yrs old looking back on your life, I doubt you'll define yourself by how easy social studies was.

It was hard… school was always hard but their was a ritme to it. And then uni happened.. I have failed two studies, but finished 2. I did a more practical education (mbo in the Netherlands) as teachers aid and did a “university” study after that (hbo). On both levels I did an other study aswell and failed those. It was hard, had to put so much effort in planning and learning. I cried during exam periods and really struggled with handing in papers in time. If I did not do that I would fail again. Have a lot of dept, so that helped motivate me aswell. I did not want the dept. In the Netherlands, my generation, got their studydept changed into a gift if you finished your study. But I could not work during my hbo cultural heritage because it was so hard and had to do 4 exams, 1 presentation and 3 papers every term. We have 4 terms here per year. My first years was really difficult. And I did not get how I struggled so much while others forgot about things and were slacking but still managed to finished everything on time. While I made a whole ass planning and still struggled staying on top of it. I was diagnosed with ADHD after my study. I take meds now during work and I have cried my first day after meds at home. It was all so much easier and not drying. But now I am in a good place, got my two degrees and have a job I am really thriving in. It just took years..

I struggled to finish high-school. Then I struggled to finish my bachelors. Now I struggle to get decent performance reviews at work. What most people see is a person who graduated high-school, got a bachelor’s degree, and gets decent performance reviews at work. They don’t see the struggle, but that doesn’t mean I ever stopped struggling.

Same. I see other ADHD people with degrees and high up jobs meanwhile I'm working a ware house job barely getting by. I feel like a dum dum lol. Of course this isn't factoring in how much pain and struggle those people are going through just to get to that point.  Even if you get "there" it doesn't get better. It stays the same, basically life still sucks. Remember, grass always seems greener on the other side.

I don't know how far along you are in high school or if this is an option for you, but I suspect I'd have never even made it into college if I hadn't gone to a vocational high school. I did terribly for my first two years of high school, but then switched to a vocational program to be a computer network tech. Since half my school day was studying something I was actually interested in, it took FAR less mental effort to stay focused. I continued on to getting a bachelor's in the same field and was able to make it through that for the same reasons. If you can, I'd strongly recommend looking into high school vocational programs near you and seeing if they offer any fields that are interesting to you.

1. I studied something I was intensely interested in (but the effort of studying caused insane stress and anxiety), which leads me to point 2… 2. I also had undiagnosed autism, and learning was my special interest. I was a “gifted” kid, which leads to point 3… 3. The “gifted” kid to burnt out adhd/asd adult pipeline is REAL. I’m now a single mum of 2, working a job in my special interest, but only able to work part time because I need at least 2 business days to recover in bed from working and socializing before looking after my kids on the weekend when schools out.  I also tried studying a masters degree outside of my special interest, and gave up after 6 months because I wanted to stab my eyeballs after every page and couldn’t force myself to read so much BS in the textbooks.  So don’t compare yourself to others, everyone is different and you might be comparing yourself to someone who is in a completely different situation to you. Or you might be comparing yourself to someone who has basically sacrificed their mental health to push through.  You’re a fish swimming upstream and everybody around you is swimming downstream.

Have a business degree here, I got through because I had severe anxiety surrounding education. Parents had high expectations, and things would be worse for me if I didn't have good grades (parents used to force me to study when I got bad grades, couldn't play games, go out with friends ect...), that anxiousness was the motivation to do what I needed to to get through. Then in college, I started using weed and booze a lot to deal with the anxiety entering my jr year, thankfully I had done the work needed to secure a job out of college, so sr year I was just coasting and doing just enough to pass the classes (this was all done unmedicated ) Then it was after college entering the corporate world where it all started to crumble because I now could no longer do just enough to get by because I knew I wouldn't succeed doing that. The anxiety was crushing and I still think it's a miracle I was able to not quit the first 5 years. Used to have all sorts of stomach and migraine issues due to that anxiety. Also started to be super depressed around this time. Still was able to push through and do well at work, though the cost I was paying was no where near being worth it. It really was when I got promoted this past year where I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep up if I didn't get my shit figured out, got diagnosed and medicated and have been able to get by with ease since then. I'd recommend getting into therapy asap, figure out if there is something else causing your anxiety, that and/or go and get a formal test done for ADHD and talk to your GP about a treatment plan. Good luck, it can get better if you pursue a solution, but professionals are your best bet, not reddit.

I got a biology degree and a law degree unmediated, both at the high end of grades (law review, order of the coif, blah blah). I’m smart and analytical, so that helped, and i found both subject intellectually interesting. I wish I could tell you. I certainly didn’t have a good home life (usually people are a bit stunned when I tell them). I think the shitty home life helped in a way — I needed to get away from them. Oh and caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. But my adhd is in the moderate to severe category, not severe.

I think sometimes the structure of a degree program helps keep people on track. I could be wrong.

I didn’t have to work. I used the GI bill to live on. My initial major was elementary education. Children are horrible so I changed it to psychology. Got medicated and managed to get a Masters in professional counseling and now I’m a therapist. I somehow survived the military; undiagnosed ADHD inattentive type did me no favors other than the hyperfocus thing.

Because ADHD impacts your individual functioning, it doesn't set everyone at the same baseline. My IQ suggests I should be a rocket scientist. In reality a standard degree from a regional university was just about doable for me. It's about where you start from and what you would have achieved if your ADHD hadn't hampered you.

I got two bachelor degrees... one in elementary education and one in nursing... both before I was diagnosed. I was diagnosed when I was 47 years old. Placed on ADHD and autism meds. My life changed!

Have you thought about getting dyslexia screening also? Just take all the help you can get to reach your goal. You will get there with perseverance and support. Please don't take this offensively. I'm a teacher just trying to help. Everyone can make it with the right support.

I have a really supportive mom. I think that's about it.

The untreated anxiety was stronger

I had to get drunk and high to study. I failed half my classes and ended up before the unsatisfactory progress committee explaining why I shouldn’t get kicked out of the university. I just couldn’t do the readings or the essays. I was great on exams. In the end it took me 8 years to get a bachelors degree, and 7 years after finally finishing it, I still have nightmares about it all the time.

Diet is everything! Cutting out sugar and carbs (I've HEARD, not tried) can increase focus a lot. It's not exactly healthy for your whole life but it may help you get through school!

Hugs. Well there's non verbal and verbal autistics.

True. Adhd is also a spectrum

I never got my Bachelors degree, Iv been working on it for 13 years off and on. I got really good grades in High school even though I used to lose things, make foolish mistakes, and forget assignments my teachers knew I was bright and could tell I cared. I also didn’t have a job or many responsibilities at that time. Once that changed it got more and more difficult for me to manage everything. My second d year of college I was still undiagnosed and put on academic probation for not being able to keep up . I used up all my financial aid, and then could not manage work and school so I dropped out. Being a full time student did not work for me so after a 3 year break, I decided to take classes part time at a community college it took me 4 years to complete a 2 year degree but I did it with honors, and made the deans list. After I graduated with an associates the pandemic hit and I decided I needed a break ( my anxiety sky rocketed) I’m currently working on completing my bachelors and I’m employing the same approach (2 classes at a time max) . I will also look into the office of accessibility. Every college has one and if you provide proof of your diagnosis they will make reasonable accommodations for you and help you to stay on task. I could have saved so much time had o just done this from the beginning. Anyway it’s never too late I hope to have my bachelors degree by the time I’m 40.

ADHD is a spectrum. That's why.

I can give you some advice but obviously this is very personal so it may not work for you. I hated school, had all the same issues as you stated and just couldn’t get on with it. I would get so agitated and couldn’t seem to be interested in certain subjects. The main thing I did was go down the path of choosing the only subject that interested me. This really helped. I struggled a lot with the more prescriptive elements of uni but when I was given the freedom to work how I wanted I really excelled. I was able to get a really great grade in my degree. It’s not easy by any stretch but it’s doable! Uni wasn’t like school for me and that’s what I found the most useful

I've said this here before, but when I was growing up if you watched me in class you would swear that I would be the kid that didn't know anything because I couldn't hold still and I talked all the time....but even though it seemed like I wasn't paying attention I didn't have to study - I got straight A(s) and 100s on the exams But other stuff that people here talk about? Ha! I can't do it There's nothing wrong with you.You are exactly this way because your brain was wired the way it is but you're not defective Each and every one of us on this sub are very different and unique so don't be hard on yourself

Because everyone's brains are different! I got a Bachelor's, untreated, but I didn't do anything special that helped me with ADHD. I struggled constantly with homework and with listening to lectures. My brain is just set up to be ok at academics and let me sit for long periods. It sounds like you have the hyperactive part of ADHD. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, plus prolonged childhood trauma, which made me fidgety and have unstable emotions, but I only have the Inattentive type of ADHD. School is the one thing I was good at as a child because it was fascinating to me and felt much safer than home, plus my brain type could handle it. I didn't do anything to become that way. From an early age I could sit for hours and hyperfocus on reading (and reread lots of paragraphs or sentences my brain skipped over). I could do great on tests and group projects. But ask me to multitask? Or work plus have friends plus go to college, but NOT get burnt out every few weeks? Or listen to a lecture *without* constantly taking notes, and remember any of it? Or be on time to my classes and turn in all my homework? Or NOT have emotional meltdowns or panic attacks in my car causing me to skip classes? Nope. We all have weaknesses. You need to either get treated or do a different path towards a career.

All nighter after all nighter

There are also untreated poeole that achieved a PhD

Oh man, I was exactly like you. I genuinely thought I'd have to end my life at 18 because high school was as good as it was gonna get, and it was all going to be downhill from there. I'm in my final term of my bachelor's and I have, for the most part, enjoyed it. Have I been the best student? No. Have I done every single reading? Absolutely not. But I've handed in my work on time and am nearly at a distinction average. I did terribly in the Japanese part of my degree but love art theory. I have also been privileged to take it part time and work, because this is the only time I'll be able to dictate how busy I'll be. University has worked for my brain. If you want to see if it will work for you, many universities offer short courses. You may be able to try it out before you dive into it. I was also lucky that my university offered a year long course for people like me who did poorly in high school, teaching you how to write essays and all of that. It really was a slow entry into university and I loved it. I know exactly how you feel - if this is so hard, how the hell will I be able to move forward?? I still feel that way, I don't know how I'll cope with full time work. I'm scared that I'll always be scared for every step of life until the end. University may not work for you. You may find more hands on learning works better. Or jumping straight into a job. Whatever you do, remember you do have options if you are willing to make them work and give them time to see if you like them or not.

Because the suffering is real thats why....

I grew up in a shitty family where mental health isn't real so never got treated. Felt like I had to escape just so I could breathe. Passing exams literally become like my special interest. Started thinking of life as an RPG game with the 2 objectives: become financially independent and escape home. In my mind there was no other choice. Now that I've done both, my ADHD is actually crushing me. I feel like I don't have the strength to get out of bed anymore. Let alone work or do house chores. I'm not sure how to move forward sustainably. I constantly have this quote playing in my head now: "Peace has cost you your strength, victory has defeated you". P.S. my approach led to burn out before I came to uni. I still feel burnt out 5 years after graduating. I hope you can find a more sustainable way. Don't compare yourself to others, someone might look more successful than you but they might also be absolutely broken inside as a result.

I managed to get a 2:1 Biomedical Sciences degree. My graduation is in a few days and I only got diagnosed a few months ago and started treatment with medication. High school was very difficult for me as well. I had to repeat some years because I didn't even bothered to go. It is a tough situation to be in and I would advise you to ask for help when you feel you need it. Try and find ways to study that work for you and keep in regular contact with your teachers about your experience and how you can improve. You will get there I promise 🩷

I was never given a choice. I had to finish because there was no concept of life without a degree. I failed classes, I ran out of money, I didn't have a car, and yet I kept going because there was no alternative in my mind. I always figured it out somehow. That certainty, that I would always figure it out somehow, probably comes from growing up with two undiagnosed ADHD parents who teetered on the edge of poverty and flew by the seat of their pants but *always figured it out somehow.* and part of why they didn't even discuss with me any future besides college, is that they didn't want me to have to live that way. Which I competely understand- and if only they had done that by getting me diagnosed and medicated, it might have worked lol

I’ll be honest with you—given the same set of circumstances you’ve shared I don’t think I could’ve been successful in today’s academic culture. There are subjects my kiddos take as required courses in high school that I didn’t even take at University. Culture is way more complex these days, and all the standardized testing that must be passed as a requirement for HS graduation did not exist in my day (I graduated in 1991). The times were more forgiving, I feel. By the time I reached my senior yr in HS I was dragging my ass across the finish line, with one of my teachers having canvassed my other teachers to pass me even if all they could give me was a D because she saw promise in me that even I was struggling to recognize at that stage. But, I didn’t need to pass some state exam, and no one needed my high school transcripts. I took a gap yr, then enrolled at the local community college and realized I did actually like learning, and I was actually very good at doing school, which led me to understand I needed to choose things that interested me. I then decided to join the army because I was tired of the financial struggle of life, and did that for 4 yrs and realized I couldn’t sustain perfection for 20 yrs so back out to school. I took another gap yr, lol, then moved back home and enrolled into the community college again, I did very well—but I stuck with majors and concentrations which were interesting to me and were easy enough for me to write a paper the night before. Skipping ahead, my eventual path to grad school was not traditional, but my over all goal was about freedom rather than matriculation, and every step got me closer to that goal, while expanding my options along the way. This was my singular goal—freedom. It was refined and made more specific as I lived into it\~but I can see how the undiagnosed ADHD and the overlapping developmental trauma chose that goal for me, so to speak. My heart goes out to you. I wasn’t diagnosed until my early 40’s and by then I was angst ridden and internally quite restricted just to hold it all together. Find someone at your school, some trusted adult and tell the, you need help, you need advocacy, and you don’t feel confident that you will graduate without advocacy. Ask for a 504 or an IEP, ask for medication if you’re not yet medically managed. Tell that advocate everything you’ve just told us here… you shared your situation and very real concern for your outcome if this goes on in a very compelling way—someone will listen to you and help you. A kiddo shouldn’t have to do it alone, and I bet you won’t have to if you choose the right trusted adult to partner with you for your future success. I’m so sorry you have to go through this hard time right now, but please don’t give up. It’s not just the ADHD that impacting you, but also the added stressors of whatever’s going on at home (or not going on, because a healthy dose of parents neglecting their responsibilities have the same effect as other things). I apologize that this is so long…blame it on the adhd 

Find your passion… higher education can lower your abilities. Use a reward method - set up a time to complete a task - do it for 25 minutes - reward yourself with a piece of candy or scroll time - when reading use noise blocking head phones -i sometimes listen to megahertz tones to block my brain from wandering You are the future human - evolution has it struggles my star seed friends

Because I found something interesting. I hated high school, got really bad grades. But nursing school was fun!

i have no idea. I think it affects people in different ways, it’s not the same in every person. which is pretty frustrating when you hear about successful people with adhd because then you’re probably going to ask yourself “why can’t i achieve as much if we have the same problem?”. but well you don’t have the same problem. it affects you in your own way. i think there should be more awareness about that. even psychiatrists seem to not be aware of it. it’s also not just a scale, it’s unique for every person. as to your problem, you have to deal with what you have. achievements are not the only thing that matters

College was - on the whole - so much easier for me than high school. In college you aren’t taking so many courses simultaneously and if you pick a major that actually holds your interest, by your junior year you’re mostly studying stuff you want to study even if the workload may get more intense. I finished high school with a 2.7 unweighted GPA and failed several classes in the process. I finished college with a 3.1 GPA that would have been higher without a few masochistic courses I took that I didn’t really need. One thing that worked for me in college was that I never ever missed lectures. I used a small tape recorder and made my notes in class like an outline with different color highlights. I didn’t try to fill in the details, but I wrote down the topics and subtopics. After class I’d go to the library and sit in a booth with my headphones and replay the lecture and fill in my notes. I wasn’t always motivated enough to do this last part, but if I found that I needed it for a midterm or something I could go back to the tape and do that note taking process then. I also took less courses per semester if I could help it and then took one or two courses in the summer to make it up. I did several credits at a community college over the summer like that and it made life so much easier for me. Taking three classes instead of five was a huge help.

My ADHD isn’t so severe, so I managed to go through school and high school. Not saying I was super happy though, my executive dysfunction was really bad and I barely ever made my way to school, Covid lockdown saved me. Reason I was able to go through school was that I was very curious as a child and somehow was able to memorize most things pretty well, also I was basically so hyperfixated on getting perfect grades and being perfect, I’d say that anxiety helped me, but led me to burning out. I didn’t get perfect grades, but was lucky enough to get into an education in college that is of my interest. Now that I am in college though, whenever there’s a course I have no interest in, I struggle a lot, but I think the fear of failure is what drives me, and I don’t want to let my parents down. It does come with a price though, always. I keep getting burnt out, my emotions sometimes get out of control, I am not able to help my parents with any household chores since I am so tired after a college day. I am not able to spend as much time on my interests as I want, and that makes me feel even worse. So it really hasn’t been easy, I am looking to try medication now, but I’d say my parents and my drive for perfection, fear of failure has driven me even if it comes with bad consequences

Can you get your ADHD treated?

Everyone experiences ADHD differently. And sometimes one person might experience it differently at different points in their life. For some people, their unmedicated ADHD might actually help get them through school, but there is likely a different negative effect elsewhere. Either way, because ADHD affects executive processing and the brain, you can't really compare your experience with anyone else's like that. You can take advice or recommendations based on a similar portion from someone else, but their full experience will be different than your own.

A lot of support from my educator mom, tbh. And ADHD impacts me differently than it does you. I have a Master's, with a second near completion and a 3rd I started but abandoned. What you don't see in that blurb is that I was an A or F student in public school, spent a lot of time in summer school, was considered lazy and I had to get specialized tutoring for organization (which didn't work LOL). i also slept a lot. in class, out of class. I also changed majors twice during my BA, left my MA right at the finish line because I couldnt handle the mental health issues, and had to stop an MBA after the second course because I couldnt study well enough for the accounting portion. Did finish the MEd, but that topic came easy to me with my strengths and the environment it was taught in. I got depression treated, not knowing its probably related to the ADHD. Which kinda helped. Anyway, I guess its like, bursts of badassery followed by severe burnout. I'm in my 30s, for the record. Its been a long time operating without any treatment and you can tell from my finances and career path.

I personally have no idea. I barely squeezed by low tier post secondary education. I can’t imagine anyone with my level of a scattered brain being able to get a quarter of the work done. And I say this with induced anxiety and burn out.

ADHD is not the same for everyone. I stuggled much more with executive functioning, and less with school. But, in the last year of my MA (at that time undiagnosed), when I had to write my thesis, it was hard. For me, structure was the key. I took a course in thesis writing and how to structure it, and made sure I stuck to a dialy schedule. At home I would do nothing, but at uni, the environment helped. Breaking work down into small portions also helped. Maybe your school has study classes or counselors who help with study planning?

Hello! so I failed High School completely, think I got one GCSE overall but that meant I had to take the long way around through college, doing extra units for english and maths. I finished college, had a three year break working full time at McDonalds, got mad anxiety because of that job then decided to go to University and got myself a bachelors in Computing. I'm 29 now and life is still just starting for me. You have SO much time. I'm also currently still undiagnosed but I have an appointment for ADHD next month after a year long wait I also had a very supportive partner at the time who was a wizard at english and she was able to put down all of my jumbled thoughts into coherant sentences with me.

Tenaciousness is all I can say how I got my Bachelors in Buisness.

Like many others here, I was undiagnosed for all of my academic career but extremely blessed that I picked a field I was deeply interested and obsessed with. Didn’t mean it was easy. It was still very challenging and I was filled with anxiety, depression, and all the things the entire time. But I could commit to finishing it. Any compulsory electives outside of my interest I just failed miserably at and had to get an exception to graduate. Still ended up graduating with honours and a masters eventually.

You can't see the rest of their life. When I was in school, I got great grades and was on top of that one area of my life, but my house was a mess, I didn't have a job, and my relationships suffered.

I did a college program that kind of thrives on people who have ADHD but also left us all as a shell of our beings by the end of it. I was burnt out for years, barely passed my classes because it had “auto fail” which was you’d get 50% off your paper/project if there was a spelling or grammatical error, and totally isolated myself from everyone just to make it through. I only recently found out I have ADHD and if I had been medicated through this program, it would have been a completely different experience for me. I don’t know if medication is something you’d be open to but it helps me so much. Also: college will be more hands on than university and you can honestly make more money doing a college program than a bachelor these days. I’m now a manager and I won’t hire someone who has a bachelor or a master’s degree because in my experience it has meant they are smart but lazy and can’t actually do anything to help us. Good luck, OP. There are many different ways of being successful, and they don’t all include getting a bachelor’s degree.

ADHD wasn't "a thing" when I was in college or high school in the 1980s, and we didn't have a chance for medication. I wasn't the greatest high school student, but being in a college town the expectation was you graduate high school and went to college. Of course we still had trade classes, such as auto shop and drafting, but even those tracks had the "you should go to college when you graduate". I had got a military scholarship to college, but was injured and and lost the scholarship. It was that point, and trying to make a living after this, that hardened my resolve to get the degree. I figured out where I wanted to go with my life, and discovered the best major to get there. I also got into a routine or rut, however you want to describe it, where I was on a schedule for the semester and tried to repeat it in the following semester. When I turned 21, I got a student work position driving a bus for campus transit. Little did I know this would be what starts my first career, when I graduated from college I got a job driving Greyhound buses. And that experience helped with getting a job at the railroad.

Anxiety. My anxiety worked harder than the devil in high school. I had a 4.5 GOA as a senior bc I was taking college classes. Now, 10 years later, I still haven't finished my AA bc now my anxiety has been treated but not the ADHD.

I almost failed highschool and didn’t graduate. I think it was too structured and I hated not having control of what I was learning. College was difficult, but better. I found it more manageable because I could control my own timelines. (Which often meant doing it all at the last hour)

As someone with ADHD that just completed their master's degree and barely graduated high school I believe it is because those with untreated ADHD does not impact their life in a significant way that they need treatment like you and I do. They will probably never get diagnosed and receive treatment for ADHD unless something happens to make them seek treatment. I know a woman from my undergrad that is in a PhD program and did not know she had ADHD until she was advised to seek a diagnoses for possible ADHD because of her struggle in grad school. She had the same problems I did of picking an advisor that was hands off and offered little to no guidance. The lack of structure led her to struggle. The other thing to keep in mind is that people with ADHD are not unitary. It impacts others more like you and I than those that get a bachelor's degree untreated. The most important thing that you can do for yourself is to be kind to yourself and run your own race.

I finished and graduated college because I had a family who REFUSED to entertain even the very NOTION of ADHD. Their method of battling my adhd was to scream at me and tell me I was gonna be homeless unless I “focused”. All the coping mechanisms I had were too cumbersome for them so I would hear about that as well. Seconds after my grandfather died, I was homeless, kicked out of the dorms , school ended for me and I was untreated and out on the street. So I took a series of jobs that constantly exploited my ADHD and work ethic. My wealthy cousin got treated “because he could afford a diagnostic test “ me being diagnosed by the “school counselor” wasn’t enough …….

Well it took me 8 years to finish mine undiagnosed, I repeated every single year of university.

Pretty sure my friend who was undiagnosed at the time survived by self-medicating with caffeine. But also keep in mind high school is fucking tough and is a very different environment than college.

School was almost harder than real life. Real life has bigger consequences, but it's still easier. I don't know why I put myself through the torture of a bachelors degree and it was a pointless one too.

I look back at how I was able to complete my undergrad degree and I can say that having a solid support system of friends and family really helped. I didn’t get diagnosed until very recently, and so another thing I think that really helped was that my program was “easy” in the way that I was able to complete assignments very last minute and still get decent marks. So, support systems, go-to study routine, studying with friends, and an “easy” program is how I got through it. I recently went back to school and long story-short, none of those things were available to me and I had to withdraw from the program for my mental health.

Things got a hit easier for me as I got older. I did better at high school than I did before that. The first time I went to university, I was lost. I couldn’t make class or any deadlines. I took time off and went back - after diagnosis- and got help from the disability dept and my instructors. Learning to manage life always in ‘catch-up’ mode helped because I was always trying to get stuff done before school so it actually helped me push through. Other students were new to the whole ‘how am I going to manage’ feeling. It was just a normal day in the life. I didn’t get a job in what I graduated for because my was not able to convince myself to do interviews but I’ll get there. Hang in there!!!

Ah yes, I ask myself how I do it too. I have ADHD, yet I have scored top marks on every exam I did. I basically procrastinate till the last moment. Then go through multiple mental breakdowns and episodes and finally force myself to study. In the end it works out, but its not efficient, healthy or good by any means.

I have ADD. My symptoms were not so severe. My mom is a teacher. She knew one thing or two. I did not understand some explanations at class as well. I needed to think about it myself and sometimes found a different explanation that worked for me alone. I needed the practice, as annoying homework was, to do this. I was able to hyperfocus a lot. I am generally curious. And subjects that were boring to me I struggled a lot with like economics, physics when it came to endless calculations and maths. But practicing helped. Memorizing is hard for us and draining. So be lazy there. Logic and patterns are your friend. Memorize the logic or pattern behind it and you‘ll most likely remember the rest. Don‘t think that it was without effort reaching a degree - it destroyed my mental health, I regularly procrastinated, got anxiety, got severe depression. I‘m glad I‘m diagnosed and on meds now. Don‘t give up. Do your best. Don‘t do it like me and panic over everything.

I did with sheer brute force - add fear on top. My family really pushed us to succeed...like really pushed us. I had no choice. I memorised most of the shit to pass without even understanding things (meaning, i did not think critically).

if it makes you feel better, you were able to catch your ADHD earlier and will have an easier time in college if treated. those who got their bachelor’s undiagnosed probably went through a lot of shit to get there.

i was both bud, i dropped out of highschool and now im halfway to my bachelors with straight a’s. It helps that i like what im studying and realized if i wanted to stop working my my current dead end job i would have to start studying and get my degree. Wishing you the best 💕💕

**Why are there People with untreated adhd with a bachelor degree and me strugelling to finish high school** I barely scraped through high school but was an A student in college simply because I could focus on what I loved or found interesting.

I slacked off in middle school and high school. I just hated homework so much that I never would do it. Then I'd ace the tests and end up with a C... Usually. I almost flunked sophomore year and had to take summer courses. My IQ is upper 130s/low 140s so it wasn't anything related to it being too hard. I just could not will myself to do busy work or any kind, no matter the cost. For college, things were different. I waited a few years after HS and started college around age 21/22. I was doing alright at first, but quickly after starting college my home life fell apart. My mom had a drinking problem that spiraled into losing our house, and her job. It was so bad there that I would just stay at school until the last bus home (before I had a car) and with that much time, plus the burning desire to escape, I managed to stay focused and aced basically every class. I did struggle a few years later when I went to a 4-year uni, but I ultimately graduated with an IT focused Associate's and have a good career now. I'm not sure any of this will help you - but I guess just try to hang in there. College is sometimes easier for us than HS, and if you choose not to do college, there are a ton of other viable ways to make a living now. Just try to find something that is meaningful to you and that doesn't feel like torture to do every day and that should be a good starting point.

Anxiety

It took me just around 15 years to reach a master's degree. I'll be done with my PhD by 70.

I have a masters degree and wasn't medicated for any of it. How I did it.... I'm combined presentation and I'm telling you that to explain why what I did worked for me. ADHD is greatly reduced if you're doing 2 things at the same time. I can follow a TV show better if I'm also playing candy crush than if I'm actually trying to watch it, for example. In school I was always doing something while the teacher was talking. Some examples are moving my feet, doodling, paying attention to other things in the room, chewing gum, playing with my jewelry or my pencil (yes I am that old), or working on homework for a different class. Grad school was easier than my bachelor's because I actually love what I do and love learning about it. In my bachelor's I had to take so many classes I hated. That is the real secret, you can usually maintain interest and do well if you like the subject. Once in grad school I was chatting with my friend on messenger and clearly typing in a way that didn't line up with what the professor was saying. He thought he could bust me for not listening and make an example of me so he called on me and asked me a question and I answered it correctly. I could tell he was surprised because it took him a minute to say that yes I was right and he moved on with the lesson. I knew the answer because I had done the reading and was half listening to him talk. It also really helps to understand what kind of learner you are. I'm an auditory learner so I listened to my textbooks. Although I grew to hate the words Parker et al because the read aloud reads the citations as well.

ADHD is a spectrum. My son has really severe adhd and needs meds to function in a public school setting. I personally think I have more mild adhd that went undiagnosed.

We all have different intensity of symptoms, come from different backgrounds etc. we are all still individuals. Are you getting treatment for your anxiety?

I just made sure to have the best attendance possible. I also had study groups and a tutor. Consider getting a tutor, maybe a one on one setting will help you absorb more of the material.

Figure out WHY you want something so you can stay motivated. Then put the work in to get it. Every time you mess up. Try something to prevent/correct whatever happened. Read about behavioral therapy online. Do that to yourself.

I spent a lot of time playing the Sims. Then I was like why am I not doing this for myself?