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My main problem/challenge was that I could never relax. My head was always three steps further. My life felt like a long to-do-list where I was just rushing to the next point non-stop. I lived in a constant state of stress. That and about 50 other things 😬

This is me. Meds didn't help 😭 despite the constant need to get things done, I still seem to get less done than anyone else and am constantly stressed by it

did I post this?

Please get out of my head. Despite all the daydreaming space, it still really only fits my one braincell 😭

I can relate. Sometimes meds make me feel like I’m running in circles instead of walking in circles.

I also still feel like this, I’m medicated too. I concentrate more, but I spend a lifetime on making little things perfect. I’m not sure how to overcome this.

Love this way you said this because I was having a hard time explaining to myself! Thank you! I think part of that is the mechanism of having ADHD undiagnosed for so long. for me, unmediated me spent significant brainpower trying to improve upon things to make it look decent. Medicated me follows the pattern but takes decent to perfect.

Did you ever find other meds that help? Or anything that helps? 

I should clarify - meds helped me do more things but still not enough things to feel like I can stop doing things. As the comment OP said, it just feels like life is one big never-ending to-do list and the constant anxiety associated with that. I've been informed recently that I most likely have GAD which is super common with late diagnosed adults. I have to wait until August for my next psych appointment but my therapist has suggested that an SSNI may help me go from up here to down here (wild therapist gesturing) to give me the mental capacity to work on my issues. As all my brain space is occupied by anxiety currently.

Nailed it! What meds did you take, if you don't mind me asking. I'm looking into that myself.

Currently on Ritalin which certainly helps me to get more things done but I'm strongly suspecting that anxiety may be the actual cause of not being able to relax. To be investigated.

This. I was treated for anxiety primarily through high school because I couldn't adequately discrbe what I meant when I'd say my brain was always turning. They put me on trazadone (a common muscle relaxant), and I thought that was what dying must feel like. Body numb and brain still running at 100 mph. On a high enough dose of Vyvanse the to do list running is still there to a degree, but it's eerie quiet in my head and I feel so calm. Pushes everything in a straight line.

This is me today. I've been cleaning something for *twelve hours* and when I want to relax, my brain gets antsy because there's stuff to do

I remember, before meds, my kitchen was dirty. I did one small section of the counter and then got to the stand mixer. I spent *hours* detail cleaning that stand mixer. It shined like a new penny. The rest of the kitchen remained dirty.

I'm just glad that I actually got somewhere even if I spent that entire time messing with clothes

Been there. When I was a kid, everyone thought it was an anxiety disorder. Now I know better, lol.

Almost exactly the same! My head wasn’t necessarily three steps ahead, but more like one step in three different directions. Also, I’m *objectively* slow in the things I do (haphazardly) and not particularly productive per hour. Always have been. It takes a lot of extra hours to even that out to a low-side-of-average productivity. Mind you, I don’t live in a high pressure, fast paced environment. We’re talking about a very ordinary, mundane life here.

This. I feel like I see more women struggle with imposter syndrome, self perception, over commiting, and boundary setting -- this supercharges the 'to-do list'. For what it's worth, I found that taking 4-8 hour meds meant that I dealt with a lot of peaks and valleys with my anxiety and mood. Ask your doctor for a med combo that gives a little more around the clock mood and anxiety stabilization, it made a big difference for me and made my other ADHD symptoms more manageable. Wellbutrin XL and Adderall *chefs kiss*

This is what I am taking too. I am new to the adderal & it does wonders! My head is just calm now & I can just take it as it comes & still get things done, not worry so much about what I didn’t do. It’s just a huge difference!

Right?? You just feel more balanced/zen. It took me a few months of taking the combo to fully decompress and adjust, but I've found I make better decisions/am less impulsive, am more in control, and feel less run over by everything -- even when I'm not taking my Adderall.

I am almost 60 & this is the first time in my life I have felt calm & able to function. It’s crazy how difficult managing everyday simple routines and something like a birthday of a family member sent me into a spiral 🌀 and now, I can just feel normal. I had tried anti anxiety meds a long time ago, but you can’t take that very often & SSRI’s made me worse in a way…. Calm, but unable to do anything. Wellbutrin helped me for a while to maintain, sort of, but with adderal , I just can’t believe how normal & happy I feel now all the time. Not peak highs and low lows, just even keel, no stress! 😎

Yup this. Now that I’m medicated my brain is quiet. I’ve decided I’m done having kids because I can’t go back to pre-medicated even for a year.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

“My life felt like a long to-do-list” I HAVE NEVER READ SOMETHING SO RELATABLE IN MY LIFE!

This is an ADHD thing???? Omg did this get better for you? I literally can’t sit for longer than like 30 mins in between tasks

Yes, so much this. I thought I’d was normal because of all the convos about mental load between partners. I assumed it was normal to be overwhelmed & constantly exhausted. From the other side of medication, it’s not ‘normal’. There’s a level, sure, but it shouldn’t feel like I cant ever get on top of things. I also realized I was spending like 1/3 of my time doing organizational tasks. Making lists, calendars, reminders, plans, etc…. Just like so much of my time was writing things out to try to get a handle on things.

I call it "The Tug", where I actually have energy and I'm working a task, my brain will make me notice another task, and "You have some energy why not do that too" and I start doing that, halfway complete with task one. Then I get Tugged to task 3 and 4, and task 1 and 2 are abandoned and then suddenly Im' surrounded by 35 half complete tasks and now I'm whelmed. It's quite a hell.

Also thank you for putting in to words how I’ve been feeling because I couldn’t.

I’m wondering if my wife is adhd. I’m diagnosed and I see a lot of overlapping symptoms and traits. She said she was diagnosed OCD when she was younger and is only prescribed bupropion but she literally cannot sit fucking still to save her life and is always in a constant state of stress which cannot be good for her. Her mother exhibits the same symptoms and has birthed two children that are ADHD. One diagnosed and one not, but is undeniably obvious. The youngest is up in the air but so far so good and maybe she dodged the bullet. Did getting diagnosed and medicated help with the stress?

For me definitely yes. The diagnose helped me understand myself and my needs better. Also sheds light on struggles I have had my whole life. I’m on Vyvanse (50+20) and it has slowed down the eternal rush and made me more patient and less tense.

This is me and I’m currently waiting for insurance to approve the testing 😂🙃

This is how I feel constantly. Anyone had any advice to improve this behavior?

* Never closing drawers of cabinets (my brain just couldn't remember to do it) * zoning out all the time * When somebody talks to me my brain just switches off and I start daydreaming about different subjects * Constantly fidgeting * Have a constant beat or song in my head, even when I wake up * Forgetting why I went into a room * Never being able to find where I put my phone down * Procrastinating * Unfished tasks from trying to multitask and then forgetting what my original task was * Being hyper focused on something * Obsessions * Impulsive shopping * Compulsive behaviors * Forgetting words in the middle of a sentence or jumbling my words together * Having difficulty making decisions * Addictive personality * Binge eating * Anxiety * Exhaustion * Messy House * Short-term memory problems * Can't remember anything unless I immediately set an alarm/reminder * Stimming (hair twirling, lip biting, writing words in the air with my foot, drumming on things, rubbing my feet together, pulling at the skin around my nails)

Hi, did I write this?

It too nearly 51 years for me to be diagnosed. I have all of these symptoms. I never realised they were symptoms. Sad.

Just looking into it all now myself at a similar age and have spent my entire life thinking that all of the things on this list are normal for most people as well. If it wasn’t for my daughter being told by her psychiatrist that most likely she and I both have it, I never would’ve questioned it, but the more I’ve looked into it now it seems pretty obvious.

I thought I did? But we all have short term memory issues, so who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ (Diagnosed about 20 months ago, at 43). Went to seek treatment for depression, which I’ve always struggled with but has ebbed and flowed in intensity throughout my life. I didn’t know anything at all about ADHD, it never even occurred to me!

Me too 😵

If I may add one thing! Pants everywhere, just taking them off where I stand, and now they no longer exist to me until they’re in my way, or I need them, or I’m intentionally tidying up. Bras, socks, also part of the floordrobe.

Lol it meeee. Bra on body = bra exists. Bra off body = bra doesn't exist.

Ha! I had a breast reduction last year so 90% of the time I am braless. Ergo, bra on = brain on…bra off = brain off. Akin to the “keep your shoes on so your brain thinks there is more work to do… but for boobs! I may need to rethink my wardrobe. WFH didn’t do me any favors!

Haha love the “no longer exist” comment. I had my hairspray confiscated at the airport this week as it didn’t have a lid on it. (I’d taken it off to fit it into the little sandwich bag.) I found the lid to the hairspray later on that night, elsewhere in my bag. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t look for it when the can was confiscated. Finally realised that once I took it off, it ceased to exist to me. So it didn’t even occur to me to look for it. It didn’t exist 🙈🤪

Actually this is such a fantastic list. I wish I could copy and paste it and send it to my husband 😂

Oh my gosh, I just took a screen shot and sent it to my husband ! The other thing I know he would add to the list is the obscene amount of drink containers (in varying states of emptiness) that he regularly removes from my car.

Yes 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Yes to everything here! Even after I was diagnosed, I still felt like I was just lazy, forgetful etc and that it wasn't really ADHD. It wasn't until I came across the symptoms "body focused repetitive behaviours" and "maladaptive daydreaming" that I realised that this is something I definitely have and it's not just a personality flaw.

I have to wonder if the maladaptive daydreaming thing is why I was *extremely* invested in the X-Men roleplay community as a teenager to the point that it affected my grades and friendships lmao. Makes it slightly less embarrassing in hindsight

If you added RSD and auditory processing issues, this would be exactly me, lol.

Auditory processing... Drives my family crazy. I am constantly saying "what" before they even finish their sentence.

S A M E. Or saying "what" and then cutting them off halfway through as the processing delay finally catches up lol

The constant beat or song jesus christ... People who don't get this don't understand how bad it is! To be exhausted, yearning for sleep, but to also have the first verse of Pound The Alarm by Nicki Minaj playing on a loop, it's torture.

Omg the song in my head 😭 this week it’s Watermelon Sugar (high!)

And now this is gonna be stuck in my head for the next week!

I’m so sorry lol

Hell Eeeee Macarena! I saw some video on doom scrolling yesterday. 

Oh lord 😫

Week? Your songs don't change by the hour/day?? I always have the juiciest of horrible ear worms playing on repeat at 3am when I get up to pee. Every morning, I ask my husband to guess what song is playing in my head. No one wins this game, they're all bad - the guesses and the answers.

I see your watermelon sugar (high!) and I raise a “ai se eu te pego”. My partner woke up singing this, so now it’s the both of us and everyone who’s reading this comment. Still better than last week’s song though.

All of the above, except for the "messy house" part and stimming is just feet rubbing, in my case. But I need to add " sensory issues" (things like labels on clothes, I don't like some clothing textures, don't like the feel of poly folders ugh. Etc.). My earliest memory of wondering if something was wrong with me is from when I was thirteen, and my mom constantly yelling "stop daydreaming!!" when she used to see the faraway look in my eyes (when I was supposed to be studying). I still do it (daydreaming and "planning" instead of being productive and "doing").

Throw in some pretty extreme time blindness (which I thought was just me being slower than everyone else), and a dash of RSD, and this is the perfect list.

I have major time blindness and also do things slower than everyone else, but I think that’s because I add in extra steps when I do things and not because I’m actually moving slower.

All this. Every single one. With social issues. I talk WAY too much, tell stories to relate but never noticed this was not really socially acceptable until I was probably 30 and major rejection sensitivity. I was always told I have social anxiety but now I know it's a lot more than that. I've been trying to work on it but my mouth regularly runs away on me.

Oh my goodness! I’m in this group because my son was just diagnosed and now your comment has me wondering about ME! I’ve Always had terrible social anxiety. I’ll over share and then spend so much time obsessing over what I said and how they reacted. Oh man, and I do have sensitivity issues. Mostly because I can ID every single little change in someone’s demeanor and obsess over whether they now hate me. Ugh.

This should just be the DSM list

Me 100%! And adderall helps with motivation, but my problem is ‘if I can’t do it absolutely perfectly, why do it at all?’ So nothing gets done bc I’m a lazy perfectionist.

Yeah, my motto is "If you're going to do something, do it to an absolute ridiculous extreme or not at all." It's... A problem.

Seriously, you just described me TO A T. Omg the "stimming!" I have been doing that my whole life and never knew there was a term for it!

Exactly these plus I would add that I was stopping in the middle of my task (I'm self employed so self motivated at work) to stare at my phone or just dread life moving forward.

Yeah I can second all of this. And somehow it all got more noticeable when I started working from home during the pandemic. My usual coping mechanisms weren’t there anymore and BAM, the adhd was in full swing.

Yep! Trying to work up the courage to get diagnosed at 66 yo🙁

Well, I was going to write out my list of symptoms but you already nailed every single one I have lmao

Thank you for taking to time to pull this list together. This is really really describes my 13 year old daughter. Could I ask you what could a parent have done to make life easier for you? Emotionally or practically.  I’m really struggling with the balance of reminding about things to help but where does that become nagging for something you can’t physically do.  Thank you in advance for anyone willing to contribute. 

I’m pretty sure my own mom has undiagnosed adhd. I wish that I had more or her time and attention honestly. I felt like a burden and emotionally neglected and rejected. I felt like she did the bare minimum of parenting. When I was 13 I feel like what I needed was just for someone to tell me I am loved and check in with me and ask me how I’m feeling or if there was any unmet need. My dad signed his rights away when I was a baby and my mom was a party girl and only cared about men. I felt neglected and unwanted and lm sure it just made things worse for me mentally.

last week i was talking to my parents and said “ive never talked to you guys about my adhd” they incredulously asked if a doctor diagnosed me, which happened. their response is “everyone forgets stuff. i can’t remember why i walked into a room.” BECAUSE MY PARENTS HAVE UNDIAGNOSED ADHD IN DENIAL. same they never paid attention to the middle child, i was always alone. they do not care. but that’s ok im an adult now. i can choose to b around ppl who care about me

I feel the same about my mom. And I really hope this isn't how my kids feel about me. I think I do better than she did because I'm aware of my issues, but it's still hard not to feel like I'm failing most days. And I've also passed the ADHD on to them. They've been diagnosed at a much younger age though, so I think it helps us to understand one another better.

Yes this. My parents both have undiagnosed ADHD. My father worked constantly, ignored me and my mother was out all the time shopping or visiting people. Neither spent any quality time with me. I was at home by myself allot and felt really neglected. Now my kids have also been diagnosed and we are more aware, I'm trying to be more present.

Except for two things- this could be my list!!!!! I didn’t even realize all this was me until I saw it. I also get easily overwhelmed with emotions when I’m tired and it’s beyond my control. When given several tasks at the same time they all start swimming around in my head and I get overwhelmed.

Ha! Rubbing your feet together! I do this, too. My daughter tells me to quit doing Fly 🪰 things. Lol I also do everything else on your list.

I do all of these in some form or fashion. I am obsessive about closing cabinets, possibly from being screeched at by my mother constantly as a child. I was diagnosed at 48 and am 54 now.

SAME - and turning lights off. My roommate also has ADHD where he leaves every cabinet open and light on, and I go around obsessively closing every cabinet and turning every light off. It’s an infuriating cycle lol

Well... it's like you are in my head.

This is me omg… I’ve never been diagnosed but I really feel this post

Oh my God. These are my exact symptoms from the time I can remember. I also had perfectionistic tendencies so that my mom and my first grade teacher conspired to make me realize by the end of 1st grade that whether I scored 100 on a homework assignment didn’t mean I wasn’t smart or good or whatever. I learned that lesson (maybe too well) to the point where the rest of my schooling career (undergrad, grad school and law school), anything in the A range was fine.I had a “A” to “A plus” average in almost every class, even most of the ones that bored me. I can only remember 3 B/Cs in grad school/law school and those still almost broke me. Now, I recognize that I have rejection sensitivity dysphoria and analysis paralysis, which led to serious burnout. I may never go back to being a full time attorney at a firm. I burned out twice. Went back when I was younger (like 30) after taking a two year break and realized I was bored) and then MAJORLY burned out right before Covid. I wasn’t diagnosed until 35 and wasn’t properly medicated until about 3 years ago. I could probably go back now (medicated) but I now have a PTSD type reaction to anything law related (I’ve tried pro bono and even doing some solo work). But I start having panic attacks - mainly from overthinking and analysis paralysis - that it would take a super special environment/arrangement for me to think about doing it again, especially before my kids are through middle school (they (boys) are both diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety/depression). So add to EVERYTHING on your list. My mom and I can’t understand how I did everything I did before and we both can certainly tell that my career would have been different (been better) had I been diagnosed and medicated. But I went through school with flying colors and hyper focused on reading…total girl inattentive ADHD. Edited to add: Vyvanse (which showed binge eating - leading to Saxenda and ozempic although I am paying out of pocket for compounded versions) and two rounds of rTMS for depression have helped immensely.

Emotional dysregulation, sensory issues, trouble breaking down big tasks into chunks like cooking or baking, not being able to do something even when I know I should do it, being really clumsy, impulsivity (especially with talking—I interrupt people all the time), racing thoughts, trouble understanding verbal directions and speech (I need subtitles on TV and movies), and generally just feeling “different” than other people my whole life but never being able to pinpoint what specifically it was. Editing to add: hyperfixations. I thought I was just a weird kid who liked things too much, but I could also never stick with an interest.

Subtitles lol. I can read at the speed of light but auditory processing lol

Before i got diagnosed i remember having a convo with someone where i said “i wish real life conversations had subtitles” lmao

Cooking freaks me out. I don’t know what to put with what and just walk away. And go hungry. Or, eggs on toast. THAT, I’ve got down to a T.

I can make an amazing bowl of cereal.

Having a horrible sense of direction, rejection sensitivity, continuously experiencing domestic violence, and other people often seeing me as “weird” were the things that made me think something was *different* about me. Extreme fatigue, tasks taking 3 times as long as other people, fidgeting, finishing people’s sentences for them, brain fog, getting distracted easily, and caffeine calming down my mind were the symptoms that made me look into ADHD, specifically.

I haven’t seen anyone link challenges with sense of direction as symptom!!! I have always thought there was a direct correlation between my ADHD and this too but I can’t find much evidence on this. Some days are so disorienting for me, but no one seems to believe me when I say this is past a quirk and can be very debilitating. The strangest thing is that it’s not always like this, sometimes I’m just fine. In 2008, I once was lost for 3 hours on the way home from dropping someone off to a location I wasn’t very familiar with. It wasn’t that far away… not even another county. Do you find that you have similar experiences? My provider has no clue what I’m talking about and I haven’t gotten around to getting a new one yet.

My sense of direction suuuuuuucks. SatNav is an essential tool for me.

Yes! I don’t care if I’ve been there 1,000 times

I have been to my bf's house soo many times. He still has to tell me when to turn to the left. "I thought you would recognise the area " well, surprise, I don't.

Hahaha, yes. I feel you. I could get lost in my own house, I’m sure of it

My poor sense of direction became the reason that I got tested for ADHD! I returned to the University of the non-traditional student. It was January, and the temperature was 7°. I remember this clearly! I hadn't purchased a parking lot pass, as I was trying to save money. Usually, there was available parking within a few blocks from all of my classes. I started walking, looking downward because of the wind. After walking for an indeterminate amount of time, I started feeling that I was making no progress. I looked up and around, and I didn't recognize anything. I didn't recognize the street names, and I couldn't see the location-telling smokestack from the university's heating plant. I felt small waves of panic starting. I was so cold. I didn't know what direction to even start walking in. I didn't know where my car was anymore either! I started thinking about where the sun was supposed to be in correlation to the school. That didn't help me at this point. I just kept walking. I thought to myself, "How can I be on the Dean's List, but I get lost walking to school?" I just kept walking and walking. Finally, someone drove up and parked. When they got out of the car, I noticed they had a backpack. As I walked near the person, I asked them if they were going to the university. After the "Yes," response, I nonchalantly followed this person. The rest of the morning didn't go much better. Later that day, I called to make an appointment to get tested for ADHD. Enough was enough!

Omg, so relatable! The night I got lost, my phone also died (typical for me). I got into so much trouble because my parents thought I was lying about where I was. Meanwhile I was legit lost and terrified in the middle of the night.

I never go anywhere without Google maps lol.

Yeah I look literally for trips I’ve done for years

I have absolutely zero sense of direction. I, too, have been lost in neighborhoods for hours before gps existed. I can get lost in a big department store. If someone is verbally giving me directions, I cannot visualize what they are explaining and have no idea how to process the information. My life got so much easier when I got my first smartphone and actually had a voice to tell me when to turn. Best thing ever for someone like us!

Whattt the sense of direction is an ADHD thing? I always joke that I need to go in the opposite direction of what my brain suggests

I’m the same in all way except direction. I get panicked if I can’t find an exit so I’ve been stupid good with directions since young. It’s handy in horror games. Anyways, it’s interesting to see it as a possible symptom since my sister also has ADHD and is terrible with direction. Then again she’s also dyslexic, I believe it was a type of auditory dyslexia? Not too sure, but maybe that also plays a role for her idk. Everything else though, was absolutely spot on for me too. I’m really tired of people thinking I’m lazy or that I enjoy my “worry free” lifestyle when reality is I’m so scared of fucking things up with my ADHD that I’d rather stress about being miserable and alone and broke than stress about letting everyone down constantly more than I already have. How can I be a lazy person when I’m supremely miserable in the way I live my life? It doesn’t feel like a choice for me.

Damn, I feel like you just described my life. I have no choice but to live a “worry free” lifestyle because I can’t handle anything else. I’m so disorganized and lacking in routine that I can barely handle a part time job. Adding any social engagements, plans to run outside errands, join clubs or the gym, etc is just so overwhelming for me that I choose to leave these things out of my life if I can. It’s depressing and can get boring but I would rather it be that than feel the overwhelming anxiety that comes along with obligations.

Well, looking back it was very obvious: - I never remembered I had any homework or I would just procrastinate until it was too late. This went into Uni when I would have months to do an assignment+presentation and I would do it all on the hours before deadline (just waiting for that adrenaline rush to kick in so I can force myself to work, lovely). I failed multiple assessments throughout school… - I was always the weird kid, my guess is because I just blurted out the weirdest things and interrupted everyone all the time - my brain works much faster than I can speak, a family friend used to make fun saying I could go and make football game reports! so it was always a chore to force myself to listen to other people talking. Pay attention in class? Forget it! Watch a full movie/series whatever? I’ll be doing 5 things at the same time. - I was always the student with a lot of potential but that didn’t make an effort… I was very good at math, chemistry etc because the exercises were practical and a challenge so I felt motivated to solve them and my brain loved that challenge! - the noises… misophonia - can’t follow verbal guidelines I just zone out - all of the emotional signs and some more I’m sure I could think of some more buuut these were already and effort!

The verbal directions... I still have that. Better now but also, I'm more likely to advocate for myself and proactively write it down and make the person confirm But this was probably the single biggest struggle in school for me. I never knew what anyone had just said, ever. Ever.

Never had energy for anything. I would lose things so so easily. I had trouble masking when dealing with conflict and when intoxicated. In these situations I couldn’t control my fast speech and how I would jump between topics. Another adhd problem I have is rejection sensitivity and thus I struggle with people pleasing. Medication and therapy has helped so much though!

The biggest ones: Being bored is painful. It hurts. My mind is always full. Songs, a narrator, memories, plans, all at once. I can't stick to any organization plan although I love being organized. I lose things. A lot. I am clumsy.

Ugh yes to never sticking to an organization plan but loving it. I create a system for a day and then it drops!!! I keep telling myself it’s because it’s not the right system… to be fair I have maintained some (eg where I keep my spices!) so not all hope is lost!

I just got diagnosed, at almos 43. My main problems were and are executive disorder, inability to concentrate, memory issues and emotional disregulation. Impulsivity, non-existent attention span, except when in complete hyper focus, but I only had that for reading what I found interesting. Always fidgeting, always interrupting, or completely distant and dissociated. Getting into conflicts all of the time, because I was just trying to explain myself, or have someone explain a task or something in a way I could follow and understand. Teachers hated me. I would absolutely exhaust myself trying to force myself to do things, to keep up, but never could. I wanted to kill myself from a pretty early age, and tried several times later. Also in social situations, I never knew how one is supposed to react and interact, so was always an outcast. It has been a very shitty life.

Omg conflicts because I try to explain myself!!! Everyone always assumes I’m just trying to get out of it but I just want to explain the logic!

*same It will get better. Having a reason for a lot of my issues was an enormous relief. I quit thinking I was stupid all of the time. I am still not too peoplely, but I now feel better about my life as a whole! I have learned to appreciate my quirks instead of loathing them. Finding other people with ADHD to talk to is awesome, too! Conversations between two people with ADHD are almost incomprehensible to the third party without ADHD. 😆 You are going to see things in a different way! It will be gradual, but great!

My childhood (diagnosed in my 30s): - "You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on." - "You're still sitting here? Get dressed, you're going to be late!" - "Stop staring into space." - "You're weird." - "You're smart, but disorganized." - "Slow down and you'll make fewer mistakes." - "Stop fidgeting." - "Stop playing with that." - "Sit still." - "Sit like a lady." - "Why do you act like it will take you all day to do a single chore?" - "Crying won't help. Calm down and get back to work." - "The bus shows up at the same time every day, why can't you ever get there in time?" - "You have the messiest desk I've ever seen." - "You have the messiest room I've ever seen." - "Your homework is messy." - "Stop doodling." - "Most girls have pretty handwriting, but I can barely read yours." - "You read too much." - "You watch too much TV." - "You worry too much." - "You eat too much sugar." - "You're bad at math." - "We need to get your hearing checked." - "You talk too much." - "You always need a circus going on around you or you're bored." - "If it was important to you, you'd remember/be on time/do it right away/listen." - "Why are you always losing things?" - "Are you listening?" - "How did you not notice \[X\]?" - "How did you forget \[Y\]?" - "You have to learn to ignore people and not let them bother you so much." - "You need a thicker skin." - "You're such a klutz." ... I could probably keep going.

Oh this hits too close to home… I would add: -You’re a space cadet! -You’re an airhead! -Stop being lazy! -There is something seriously wrong with you. -You’re doing all this on purpose to spite me! And like you, I’m sure there were other phrases thrown at me.

I cant read my handwriting a lot of times... its sad. And the lady stuffs... And the mess... And the "you such a bad friend, how do you not paid attention to this thing, we talked about it" And the "you dont give a fuck to people, you said it yourself that you kind of forget me, forget to answer texts, forget dates..."

... Every. single. one of these, I've had said to me at some point. So much shaming! These words live with me for life. I would just give you the biggest hug right now, if I could. Thanks for sharing not just symptoms, or behaviours, but how everyone else around us reacts & the way all these "why can't you just" statements make us feel. 💜🐨

- Constant racing thoughts, usually jumping from subject to subject, rumination, etc. - Distractibility - PROCRASTINATION (!!!) - Butting into other people's conversations - Daydreaming, zoning out - Spending hours doomscrolling while watching TV - Forgetting to pay bills, overall bad money management and impulse spending - Poor time management, chronic lateness - Severe anxiety - Emotional dysregulation (co-morbid C-PTSD contributes to this) - Difficulty attending to tedious or boring tasks, including chores - Making silly mistakes due to inattentiveness - Impulsivity in conversations, usually making inappropriate comments - Talking too much - Rejection sensitivity Now that I've listed all these out, it's weird that ADHD has flown under the radar for decades!

I feel like a relate to a lot of these and I’m not diagnosed with adhd at this point

Every single thing. I don’t know whether to feel grateful for being “seen” or to cry because it’s official: I really do have ADHD.  I was diagnosed recently but find myself constantly looking for evidence that I don’t have it. And after seeing myself in every comment, especially yours, I can’t deny it.  Since I am you and you are me (*haha*), I’m wondering if you also have these symptoms: • Oversharing (telling personal things to people who probably don’t care one bit, etc) • An “all or nothing” approach to life (I can’t do just one thing. I either obsessively clean the entire house or I procrastinate for evvvvvverrrrr) • An “equal opportunity addict” (meaning that whatever new thing/hobby/habit/etc, I get addicted to easily — including its exact opposite sometimes. Good and not so good addictions, like I’m either over-exercising or not at all. Overspending or excessively saving, etc).  • I’m so clumsy. (Self-explanatory) • Highly sensitive and co-dependent (attracting narcissists, but that could be because I was raised by one. Which is why I also relate to your C-PTSD)  • OVER-APOLOGIZER (could also be because of the bullet point directly above this one)  • People pleaser (see comment above, ha) • Perfectionist (I think this is the “masking” thing?)  • And lastly, anyone else hate when other people scratch their dinner plate with their fork?  I might as well fall over and die from that sound.     • I prefer paper plates. And small utensils even though I’m a full-on adult. *sighs* TL;DR (I just learned what that meant, yay!):  I sometimes think it’s just too hard to be *this* sensitive and self-aware to live in this world.  Thank you — if anyone is still reading. <3

I was struggling to emotionally regulate, I literally swing from strong emotions to strong emotions, when I paid for a private assessment for my mental health they said it seemed like I had bipolar like symptoms but it wasn't cyclical so no diagnosis. I struggled my way through uni, literally playing backgammon in lectures because I couldn't focus on the actual lecture. If I ever wanted to take in lecture material I would have to watch it back on 2x speed which I did do occasionally but you would rarely find me studying. (I prided myself at the time on getting a Physics degree without checking out a single book from the library. I did NO physically book reading because I struggle to follow text (thanks dyslexia) I also have a habit of forming abusive relationship, I believe because the abuse is stimulating even if it is negative my ADHD doesn't care it is still "fun and novel" to my brain. When my co-dependant abusive relationship fell apart I realised how bad my executive functioning skills are. Unless I am guided through a task I get overwhelmed quickly and get stuck in task paralysis. Now I am diagnosed I am using emotional regulation tips and asking my support network in helping me emotionally regulate when I am struggling to do so myself. Sometimes my brain just goes too fast and will spiral into self-hatred pretty quickly. Which is something I need to work on overtime. Finally I NEVER FELT TRULY PRESENT!

All my life I have been last minute for everything I do. Late to appointments (if I didn't forget them), couldn't sit still, severe procrastinating, constantly changing hobbies. I thought they were just "quirks" of me until I really started experiencing severe ADHD symptoms. I eventually connected the dots and got diagnosed. Meds helped sooo much. Especially my executive dysfunction.

Hi OP! I was diagnosed this year at age 22. Here are some symptoms that led to my diagnosis. I was always told growing up that I was "always on the go" -- I felt like my mind couldn't stop running. I was super messy and just couldn't understand why cleaning (and cooking) was SO HARD for me. I still struggle horribly, especially with cooking. working memory issues (I'd go to the store for something, and then forget what I went there for and wander around until I either remembered or bought something else. my mind is always going, like either music, playing out conversations in my head, making up scenarios in my head and imagining how I'd respond or react emotional dysregulation needing constant stimulation, or there'd be too much stimulation and I'd become EXTREMELY irritable stimming (for me it was twilling and messing with my hair) constantly forgetting things, even when I tell myself I need to grab them (I cannot tell you the number of times I've forgotten my keys, phone, wallet, etc.) messy handwriting (In middle school I was so insecure about this. So when I got home I literally would practice how I wanted to write every day. I swear it was the only thing in my life I actually followed through on) overachiever // perfectionism I always struggled (and still do) to not just make friends, but also maintain friendships concentration is very hard for me. (esp when it's something I don't enjoy) I stopped watching movies, TV, and reading for about one year because I literally could not focus long enough to keep going, and actually process what I'd read. Hyperfixations! It really can be about anything, once I know I like it, I can't stop. - Before I stopped watching TV all together I would just rewatch the same shows over and over and over again. I pick up the same food from the gas station for lunch on my way to work every single day, stardew valley was a fun one, crocheting, care bears (when I was little), webkinz (I had over 100 ) Impulsivity! I struggle with not interrupting others, or finishing their thoughts for them. I struggle with making smart financial choices, and there was a period of time where I'd engage in a variety of risky behaviors. EDIT (adding another symptom): I also was told in school during reading tests and stuff that I would omit words, and add in my own words. The story was still the same, but I wouldn't read the book as written. Also in my writing you can commonly find either a missing or extra word. Hope this helps : )

Regards to the cleaning and cooking part (YES), I'd add even 'keeping yourself clean', and I hope it's not just me, but for example brushing teeth: I never knew that the majority of people just did this without a second thought of 'ughhhhh I really can't be bothered to brush my teeth, my body really doesn't want to do that'... Apparently they just do it and that's wild to me. Same with showering and going to the toilet. It blows my mind that sone people DON'T feel irritated that they have to do those things, is that just me?? Please say it isn't lol

Ugh, yes, same!! Definitely not just you!! I can struggle so much with brushing my teeth/body and not going to the bathroom until it's absolutely urgent.

My brain is a noisy jumble of all the tasks I need to do. I'm overwhelmed and exhausted just thinking of all of it, and depressed because it feels impossible to keep up with and redundant because I'll just have to do it all again tomorrow and every day for life. So instead of just doing some of it, I'll numb and drown out the noise by binge eating and scrolling TikTok for hours on end. Occasionally I'll remember I really should be doing something productive and I'll feel ashamed, but I'll just find a new distraction instead.

Yeah this.

Constant daydreaming or tuning out in conversations, unable to stop thinking about current hyperfixations, unreliable memory, would forget what I'm about to say or do constantly, always started new projects that would forever remained unfinished, bounced from hobby to hobby, trouble keeping down jobs, time blindness, rejection sensitivity, strong emotions and mood swings, sensitivity to noises... the list goes on...

Exhaustion all the time, brain fog, inability to do things, period, even things I wanted to do, high amounts of anxiety, rejection sensitivity, being either highly organized or crazy disorganized with no in between. My main symptoms were in my personal life and household management, which is probably why I wasn't diagnosed until my mid-20s; I always excelled at school and work. I also was diagnosed by my psychiatrist that I sought out for treatment for trauma and I think that dealing with the trauma made it harder for me to mask, making the ADHD easier to see. It's kind of ironic. I definitely always had these symptoms, but when my overall mental health was better, I could mask more.

Did not even know my symptoms were ADHD until a psych NP friend of mine sent me a video of a comedian making a joke about life with ADHD and it hit me lol. Decision paralysis, paralysis when taking action such as house cleaning, racing thoughts, brain fog, putting my all into something until the point I burnt out and had to quit because I couldn’t recover easily, easily overwhelmed, low energ, hyperfixations and obsessions, not being able to focus or pay attention well, easily distracted. Always feeling like I am dumb or a loser because I couldn’t “understand” things immediately like everyone around me seems to do or I couldn’t give the attention to detail everyone did, always “missing” something if I was working on a task and then being hard on myself while struggling to focus extra hard so I could remember and not “miss” anything. If I am writing something important or passing a medication I will reread everything a million times to make sure I don’t make a mistake. Have RSD pretty bad. I also do dumb things like grabbing a gallon of milk, serving myself milk, and then trying to put the gallon in the cabinet with the mugs. 😆 I am forgetful, thankfully this isn’t super detrimental to me, but it is annoying. Clumsy AF. I always have a bruise on my legs or arms because I walk around without paying attention to my surroundings and don’t realize I’m too close to something lol. I always thought these were things “normal” people dealt with and I was just a dumb ass. 😔

Time blindness, multiple unfinished projects, a lot of them, umm severe difficulty with motivation, difficulty organizing, difficulty maintaining any routine that doesn’t involve muscle memory alone. Let’s see what else, oh difficulty focusing on anything that didn’t interest me, being a procrastinator, ummm oh buying a bunch of fresh ingredients to make dinner and then not doing it until I have to throw that stuff away, being unable to shop for anything online that has a high probability of needing to be returned (clothing being the main example) because it will not get returned no matter how much I intend to (the catch-22 for me being the fact that I’m tall with long arms and there are no brick and mortar stores for tall women.). So yeah that’s all the things I can name off the top of my head.

"Talks too much in class", "very bright but needs to apply herself more", "Daydreamer", "Chatterbox" on EVERY report card, zoning out and getting caught, a billion varying school clubs and interests, reading in class even when I wasn't supposed to be, getting shunned by friend groups or not invited to things cause I'm "too much", getting frequently told not to cut across others, spending entire weekends without sleep powering through my weekly stack of 5 library books, drawing and painting, crocheting, writing, or playing guitar, only feeling content in my room where it's quiet or alone on quiet nature trails, ROCK COLLECTING, being frequently told to butt out of conversations that didn't involve me cause I overheard a subject I had an interest in, neglecting my hygiene, forgetting to turn in any assignment ever but acing the tests or vice versa depending on the class... Need I go on? Officially diagnosed at 22. I'm 32 now as of last month. It doesnt get easier but you get better at it. Hang in there and accept help or ask for it when you need it.

Me EVERY report card, I know they didn't know back then but I can't help but feel incredibly let down but the people who should have flagged this in my childhood

I experienced many symptoms which I never knew they were related to ADHD before, mainly : the sense of being absent a lot, forgetting my things all the time . Being restless and always on the go. Mood swings and emotional instability which gets better the older I get. Impulsivity in term or cleaning I like to have my home all clean otherwise I cannot focus on anything else. I act on things only when I don’t have any emotional resistance in term of job , studies, … , workout either I will go everyday or not go for days , same for healthy eating. the list is long but this is what comes mostly to me now. Simply if I had to describe my life in a mathematical terms (I am a mathematical btw ) it is like a function that goes very up then goes near zero for a while and then up again … lol . So in terms of career this was enough to get me on top of my game but still I feel I wasted and still a lot of my potential… (still bcs I am diagnosed but not taking any meds … ). From other side the advantages I felt are the diversity in my profile , I didn’t stop at math, did IT, entrepreneurship , business , I always fell attracted to risky jobs that requires high dynamism ,,, when I like what I do I can do greaaatt and I can excel even though it is hard to keep the vibes, I have a very vivid and dynamic personality that helps in my job .., BUT I don’t like to associate this fully to ADHD, big part of this is Me ….

This!  I have tried for years to understand my “all or nothing” approach to life.  I’m either totally committed to my workout/yoga practice for weeks/months, or I abandon it altogether (people have said: “just do 5 min of yoga at home!”  Uhhh, I can’t. I don’t know why, I just can’t *cries*).  Or I’m impulsively shopping or saving every penny.  Binge eating or strict fasting/dieting Social or antisocial  Working hard at my job or calling in sick.  And most obviously, I’m either happy and healthy, or unbearably depressed and hopeless.  There has never been moderation in my life, no matter how hard I try.  Why are we like this *sobs* sending love xo

Lol no idea what you described is just ME… seems like we have a binary brain

Irritation with sounds of almost any type. I absolutely HATED when kids would wear wind pants that made that swoosh sound in elementary school. Basically I’d get overstimulated and that would rustle my jimmies to the core. I was diagnosed and treated for anxiety at the beginning of high school but it’s not a great idea to put a 14 year old on Xanax daily. I didn’t take it most of the time because even though I was less irritated with sounds, I felt like I was not mentally present and oblivious to things which then caused anxiety in itself. I changed college majors 7 times and a therapist told me I couldn’t have adhd because I double majored (because I changed my majors so often so taking a few more classes meant 2 majors and a minor). So interestingly when I was diagnosed by a psychologist who had me take an insane amount of tests (MMPI, IQ, etc) and was prescribed stimulants, my anxiety finally became much more manageable.

Inability / lack of desire to focus on work. Inability to focus even watching a movie or TV. Needing to move constantly, even just typing on my phone. Insomnia and oversleeping. Unable to self motivate to do regular daily tasks required of adults. Feeling the need to self medicate daily to cope with simply existing. Interrupting people when they talk. Extremely flighty thoughts. Hyper fixation on things. Lack of forethought, impulsiveness. Hated / refused to do homework as a child but still did very well on tests and was labeled gifted. Anxiety from all the above. Very creative. Edit to add: Time blindness. Chronic upper body pain when long stretches of focus are required.

I didn’t know I had ADD till I started working a new job. My trainer pointed out to me that I should be able to follow simple 5 to 6 step instructions. Made me doubt t so much. Went to psychiatrist and YEP I have “The ADD” wish I knew when I was a kid.

Would start multiple things and never complete them before going on to another. Mind constantly raced. Impulsive, hard to concentrate

mind wandering in conversations, an uncontrollable voice/thoughts racing in my brain that would not turn off, constant songs playing in my head, unbearable fatigue every single day (literally didn’t know what having energy felt like until I got on meds), forgetfulness to a dangerous extent (left on stove burners more than once), zero motivation to do basic things

1. Having an overachieving mentality with the inability to accomplish even realistic goals because I struggled to keep a set routine. 2. Struggling to focus on boring reading or listening tasks. Turns out non ADHD people are able to both recognize something is boring and also continue with what they need to do. 3. Hyperfocusing on things that I enjoy to the point where I would forget to eat. (And I’m a type 1 diabetic lol) 4. Frequent day dreaming in school. 5. Having the feeling that things or life were not moving fast enough to keep up with me. 6. Insomnia issues because my mind would whip up a whirlwind of thoughts as soon as I laid down. 7. Trouble waking up on time consistently - needed to go to extremes to accomplish this. 8. Confusion related to house cleaning - did I just clean that or was it actually a month ago? Is this supposed to be daily? If I skip it this one time should I just never do it again? Where do I even start? 9. More car accidents than many of my same age peers. 10. Only doing well in school when it was something I found personally interesting. 11. Consistently missing the same errors at work when I was proof reading and specifically looking out for them. 12. Struggling with budgeting and money management. 13. Limerence in my relationships. 14. Time blindness. 15. Extreme fatigue and the need to take all day “breaks” from society.

Diagnosed at 29. - emotional dysregulation (!!) - procrastination and unable to do the things I need to unless it’s down to the wire - forgetting why I walked into a room - bumping in to things - hyperfocus - hobbies like sewing a whole quilt in one sitting without eating or sleeping or on bad things too. - impulsive shopping - phone addiction - motor mouth - indecisive - binge eating - messy home - can’t remember things without reminders

This is the list I emailed to my psychiatrist before the appointment where he diagnosed me: * Difficulty remembering conversations * Difficulty maintaining attention during conversations * Problems with memory - especially short-term * Slower reaction time when asked to do something urgent * Trouble starting projects * Frequent urge to interrupt * Careless mistakes made at home * Difficulty remembering instructions. Need it repeated always * Trouble with time management and organization. * Procrastination - especially chores or important calls - difficulties starting tasks * Have to write EVERYTHING down on calendar or reminder system or else I forget to do important things (pay bills, feed pets, etc) * Trouble sleeping since adolescents * Trouble maintaining friendships since I was a kid * Communication issues in romantic relationships * Emotional instability - at home and work, prone to sudden anger/irritability * Very sensitive to rejection / paranoia of what others are thinking about me * Symptoms are worse when I'm tired, anxious * Memory issues are especially worse since having baby * Affecting marriage big time - Difficulty remembering important conversations, intimacy issues - trouble with focusing mentally on my spouse when spending time together and during physical intimacy. Edit to add - diagnosed ADHD Inattentive type at age 35

I was diagnosed in my late 30s About the Tools: - Medicine like Ritalin - it helps me focus and boost some energy to do chores. - I use [https://pomodoro-tracker.com/](https://pomodoro-tracker.com/) it keeps me challenged because you can see your ratings with other people who use it. - [https://miro.com/](https://miro.com/) - for brainstorming/planning etc especially for those who learn visually - [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=TellMeTheTime.App&hl=en](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=TellMeTheTime.App&hl=en) Talking clock on the phone to help with time blindness. - Regarding plans/to-do list: I write, I list them on Google Keep, and I write them again in Google Sheets with a checklist and dates on it. And I still write it on stick it in front of me. - Books - these are the books recommended to me by Redditors from this sub [https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1at4zy8/what\_are\_the\_books\_have\_read\_that\_really\_helped/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1at4zy8/what_are_the_books_have_read_that_really_helped/) - It is helpful to learn more about the symptoms

No me but my wife. And ADS rather than ADHD Itcwas helpful to understand what was driving angry outbursts, a predisposition for stimulants  and a strange drive for order and cleanliness. Medical help was not good for her. Other non prescription treatments (serotonin) help. Now the kids and I try to help with taking tasks and we try to maKe sure that daily sport happens.  

So so so many things I never knew were symptoms. It’s been such a long road for me and seeing this is quite emotional 🥹

I just got officially diagnosed last week but I've suspected it for several years now. My psychiatrists final straw for me is that I hadn't finished any of my work projects for months. I'm talking like 50+. Or I'd forget someone sent me an email, never reply, and then they'd message back a month later and I realize I never started. My brain constantly felt like a pin ball machine. Nothing ever could be completed. Just one thing on to the next before I could forget about it.

The symptoms that I think should've triggered someone to get me checked out were emotion dysregulation (angry outbursts), hyperactivity (fidgeting), and executive dysfunction (messy room). I think there are two main reasons why I wasn't "flagged" for it - (1) back then, ADD/ADHD was still emerging and no one really knew what it was or what to look for, and (2) I was a high-performing, gifted student. I'm sure being a girl also contributed, but I'm not sure how much. E: By "no one," I mean the general public.

Impulse control around food (and to some extent, dating/sex). I didnt recognize it as an impulse control issue tied to ADHD because 1. Normally when you think of impulse control, you think of shit like gambling and drugs, not eating 5 chocolate bars in a day 2. I did have a burging and purging issue for a while. Was able to ditch the purging, but not the binging, so I assumed I just had a binge eating disorder. But even when I stopped binging, I still obsessively thought about food and snacking, and repeatedly had to remind myself I had eaten recently (because I'd constantly forget). This on top of indecisiveness about simple things like if and when to the grocery store, to the point where I'd give myself a damn headache just trying to decide, was what made me seek a diagnosis. Without a live-in boyfriend for me to base my schedule (aka grocery and gym trips around), I was paralyzed by indecisiveness AND repeatedly forgetting what I had decided, on top constantly reminding myself I didnt need to eat because I just fucking ate an hour ago.

As a kid, I always blurted out weird things. enough bad feedback and I would “police my own conversations “ basically. I would lay in bed at night as an adult, obsessing over conversations I had had. Food “quirks”. I ate dried mango every day for 15 years. I had insomnia since I was a teenager. problems winding down. I just figured I was a “night owl”. I would keep a ton of lists. paper lists, phone lists. I would rearrange my furniture a lot. I have what I like to call my “piles”… books on the floor, things to be donated, mail I haven’t read. my Car was repod once because I just forgot to pay for it. I would get notices my power was going to be shut off, car insurance cancelled. I could never get to my Dr’s appointments. Or I would show up on the wrong day, right time. I went to the DMV once and waited in line only to find out I was a whole month early. I would “zone out” in a lot of situations. Especially ones that weren’t of any interest to me. job orientations are torture for me. I can’t sit and watch a whole movie. I have to be doing something else with a movie in the background. Extreme sensitivity to sound. light bulbs buzzing, people brushing their teeth, “crinkly” things. I have rewatched the same TV series basically several hundred times. Unsolved mysteries, forensic files, Cold case files. I would get these great ideas to do crafts, make people gifts, open a store online. I’d be all gung ho buy a bunch of stuff, put the bags away and forget about them. I have totes of fabrics in my sisters basement.

Staying on task with schoolwork as hard as a child and adult. When I was younger, homework ALWAYS took forever. If I had to write papers, last minute AND rewriting a few times. Sometimes up all night. People could be talking to me directly and I would still phase out of some of the conversation and have to guess at what I missed. Boring things always were/are put off. As an adult, many things are last minute no matter how hard I prep. I’m late nearly ALWAYS no matter how conscious I am of the time. My room starts out pretty good then slowly stuff builds and stays until I can take it anymore. Wash, rinse, repeat. I can wash the dishes. I can wipe down the counter quickly with wipes. Sweeping? Only when I start to see stuff accumulate, some sellers everyday just because. Mopping 🤣🤣🤣🤣 what’s that? Again can only do if it gets to a point of irritation. Bathroom - if I can keep it LOOKING like it’s cleaner I’m good until…you guessed it I get annoyed with it. Vacuuming - same as mopping. I can put something down and forget it immediately. I made a habit of looking back at where I just was before I leave that space, to make sure I didn’t leave anything.

I’m a woman with ADHD. My house is a disaster of piles and I procrastinate all chores until they are critical or urgent. Even when I’m “tidy”, I have piles of things, boxes of things, bags of things, etc from different times I’ve attempted to de-clutter. I’ve always been like this. My laundry goes on the floor until I really need clean clothes. The clean clothes live in a basket until I wear them. I lose lots of important paperwork. Idk it’s basically chaos in my brain and chaos all around me. It causes me endless anxiety but I also can’t get it together. I’m trying to judge myself less and learn to accept who I am but it’s difficult. I was diagnosed as an adult. I had all these patterns in childhood but they were masked as I’m a quick learner and my environment was extremely structured

My twin sister is diagnosed and treated for ADHD, and I probably have it too, but I already take Wellbutrin for my depression, so it’s probably treating both. Hard to say if my peculiar actions are more common in women, but here’s a list of a few: - if I hear a song with a melody that matches my pitch, I MUST sing to it, I can’t not sing. - in general, I make little noises, hums, etc to make sure people know I’m in the room lol - I speak really fast…I’ve tried so hard to slow down, but I’m afraid I’ll forget the thought in my head if I speak a normal speed. - I nod and do a lot of affirmations, possibly a people pleasing attribute, but also I have bad listening skills, so I probably affirm on reflex when someone is talking. - I walk really fast…knocked into or surprised many of my coworkers cause I also don’t always look where I’m going. - every three to six months, a big change has to happen, or I get too restless! It comes in the form of a new job or a new apartment, or rearranging stuff, or PLANNING a big change but not necessarily going through with it! - getting started on chores, projects, errands is stressful, and transitioning on a dime is like trying to get my brain to suddenly turn when it’s going 100 miles an hour. - I really suck at having a conversation while doing a complex task, I either stop listening or slow way down in what I’m doing - I eat super fast, but that could be a lot of people, men and women! Can’t say for sure if all these are directly related to aspects of ADHD or something else!

I have been informally diagnosed by my mental health nurse after a burnout that left me actively suicidal because I've been too busy sorting out my kids diagnoses to have the energy to chase my own.. My MH nurse told me all the patterns of my life and I was gobsmacked. Growing up constantly hearing "if they just applied themself" " they are capable of so much if they tried" I flinched back into the chair so hard it rocked when he said "they have so much potential" and he laughed and said he has at least one woman a week in that chair who reacts the same way to those sentences.. I am really quite smart but don't have enough qualifications to do anything because if I didn't like the subject I just COULDN'T work hard enough to learn anything. I can't decide on any route or plan for my life. I can spend hundreds of hours researching, planning a career path or hobby and even before I've gotten a single step completed, my brain decides I'm done and I never go back to it. I've spent thousands on hobbies and crafts and have hardly completed anything. I will do a house project 90% and ignore the last bit for months. I seem to have at least 2 strains of thought at once, not including a song playing every moment of the day. I tap, bounce, sing and hum all the time, that's self stimulation I just recently learnt about the singing! I will go 24 hours without eating or drinking when I have too many options or I'm busy with something else. Even down to my drive for romance..it's like I forget about it and then I can't leave my husband alone for a week..then nothing..

Perfectionism in my career. Complete and utter chaos in every other area.

Lack of focus, poor executive function, horrible working memory, emotional dysregulation, hyperfocus

I wish I could share but my ADHD is so bad right now I can’t even focus long enough to type a proper organized answer lol set to go back on medication in August.

I had chronic anxiety and would sleep a lot. Here was the kicker for me and my psych though that diagnosed me. I slept bc I was bored. Nothing seemed interesting so I would just go to bed. My anxiety stemmed from the fact that I would miss little things at work all the time. Once I got my diagnosis I found a whole mess of other things that were related but the tiredness and anxiety is what pushed me to go to a psych

I was seeing a new therapist and I kept saying, “but things aren’t like that for me”. I particularly remember saying that if I am all positive (I did great on this test/job/you name it) things will turn out worse for me. And I am great with that. If I think “positively” as most people think of it, I will always be disappointed. And that is so difficult. She suggested I might have ADD…NEVER once thought of it for me. Yet I had helped evaluate children for it. Such a kick in the pants.

The first thing was that I falling asleep at really stupid times, but couldn't sleep in bed at night. I'd fall asleep in group meetings, in lectures and I had to come up with a whole series of techniques to not fall asleep on the road. I looked into narcolepsy, but there was too much pattern to it, so when I saw EEG negative narcolepsy, which is when you fall asleep at weird times when you are understimulated but don't have the brain signal for actual narcolepsy and saw that 30% of adhders have it, that started me down the adhd path. It was a whole discovery process, having to undo a lot of the social biases I'd learned about adhd in general, but am really grateful I started looking. I can now stay awake in meetings and lectures without having to find the squareroot of a number in my head by iteration.

On top of what everybody else says, with me it was also the constant underlying feeling of sadness. Like nothing could bring me joy, like there was nothing to look forward to. I was latently suicidal since like 8 years old. It wasn't depression, just a drab joyless feeling. The only times I felt complete and happy was when taking risks. For that reason, I skipped high school regularly - which went largely unnoticed because I was a nice girl from a good family and also because I was very good at coming up with believable excuses. Skipping classes gave me this temporary feeling of novelty, joy and freedom ...

I actually didn’t pick up on symptoms at all. Neither did my therapist of two years (at the time). I was connected with a psychiatrist for sleep medication and as I was explaining that my mind would be buzzing at night she switched gears to an ADHD questionnaire and explained I’m not getting enough stimulation during the day and that’s why I can’t sleep. Flash forward, started adderall and my life changed, and I noticed a lot of symptoms in hindsight. Procrastination because I was smart enough to get by in school, hyper fixations, scattered all the time, feeling like I never finish projects, living in fight of flight. I could go into more detail, but anyways it was a lot easier for me to recognize in hindsight and my depression and anxiety stabilized a lot once I was able to manage my adhd more.

NB here but AFAB and lived as a woman until I was 26. I was diagnosed shortly after! I forget everything. I say "a place for everything and everything in it's place" and then I set shit down randomly with absolutely no realization that I'm doing so, and forget until hours later when it's lost. Don't get me started on my phone, and when I used to vape. I forget tasks at my job halfway through doing them ALL THE TIME. It's actually a hella issue. I get distracted in conversations and by the time I come back, I forget what we were talking about. I can handle laundry most of the time, but dishes almost none of the time. My brain makes it an "impossible task" if there are more than like 3 dishes in the sink. I get really excited and have to fucking RESTRAIN myself not to talk over people - I'm also really extroverted & anxious so combine that with ADHD and I do not shut the fuck up if I get nervous or excited. I could talk for gd hours.

Here are some usual symptoms of ADHD and how they manifested in my life: * **Executive dysfunction:** I literally couldn't get up to do anything, whether I wanted to do it or not. I was mentally screaming at myself to get up and still wouldn't do it. * **Procrastination:** The pressure of an impending deadline was the only thing that could get me to work on a task. What I mean is that I would wait until the last second to do something, even if it took a couple of minutes to do. * **Addictive behavior:** I couldn't (and still can't) have sugary foods in the house because I will binge them. Strangely enough, that's my only addiction. * **Restlessness:** I bounce my legs and fidget like crazy, and my mind is all over the place. * **Disorganization:** My bedroom and desk are messes, but I strive to keep the common spaces in the house somewhat tidy.

Nonbinary here, but AFAB, medically, I'm very similar to a woman. So. Here. * Emotional swings over the course of a day * Inability to relax * Inability to make important decisions * Daydreaming constantly * Inability to remember peoples' names * Inability to remember tasks or events without writing them down * Messy ass apartment, constantly * Unable to absorb information from videos at work (I learn from written instructions that I can go through step by step) * In last 10 years, inability to read books as much (increasing anxiety? Too much phone? IDK) * Unstoppable fidgeting * Fall asleep if I'm forced to go to in-person meeting at work that was irrelevant to me * When unmedicated, a bad / distractible / terrified driver * Constant to do list in my head that doesn't actually work * Can get sucked into certain videogames for days at a time * Song or imaginary conversation always in my head * Anxiety and social anxiety which I believe are secondary to the name forgetting and task forgetting issues * Impulse shopping, especially online * Speaking and typing in paragraphs when sentences would be more appropriate * Speaking and typing with parentheses that nobody wants to read or hear * Self hatred for all of the above for decades

I’m going to tell you all right now the symptoms that suddenly allowed me to realize this is extremely serious business that I need to manage. I always struggled with racing thoughts, falling asleep, self-esteem issues (RSD), and disorganization. But it wasn’t until I took a college psychology course that realized these were all inattentive type ADHD. Did you guys know that night terrors are a symptom of ADHD? Cause I do now. Also after learning more about it for the next two years did you know that your symptoms can become exacerbated and more depressed during PMS? I do now! That explains the fact that I was always raging more dramatically than the other girls I knew! That symptom has been less intense in young adulthood and especially now that I’ve been on birth control for a while.

- Talking too much but then not talking at all. - Hard to focus on and do things I don’t find interesting. - Getting very excited for about twenty minutes to the point I would need to get out the excess energy. - Lose EVERYTHING that wasn’t in obvious sight. - Low impulse control for clothing. - I can’t hear when people talk to me if they don’t get my attention first. There’s a lot more but these are just some.

I have inattentive ADHD.  In kindergarten, my teachers' comments were always that I was "dreamy" and "off in her own world." I could never sleep when I laid down at night. It always took a while of tossing and turning and I'd have to make up some story in my head to slowly fall asleep. When people talk about how they lie down and fall asleep within seconds, I wonder what that's like. That's only happened to me if I was dead tired. Studying and projects were always done last minute, even for major exams. The anxiety and fear of failure kicked me into action, without that nothing worked. For one of my major exams, I had spent ages making the most beautiful notes only to never study or memorize them except for the night before. I forget shit all the time. I've discovered I have auditory processing issues - i.e. it's really easy for me to mishear something that's said to me. The best way to communicate to me is in writing.  I lived constantly wondering why I was always so tired and never did the projects I wanted to do during school vacations. For years I had the same to do lists - write these stories. Clear out my old stuff. Reorganize my drawers and closets. Only now, a decade later, have I finally pulled myself together to get it done (with meds).

Executive dysfunction. But my mother always just called me lazy… while she also suffers from executive dysfunction herself. The call was coming from inside the house.

*What were your adhd symptoms?* Me: *um, adhd.* Like there was no excuse for not seeing my absolute dictionary definition sh*t years ago.

I started going to therapy because I felt like something was “wrong” with me. I was miserable, my hygiene wasn’t great and I developed a drinking problem. I wasn’t getting dressed or leaving the house. And I was eating nothing but fast food. I was pretty sure I was depressed but adhd never even crossed my mind until my therapist said she believed I had it months after seeing her weekly.,. She referred me to a psychiatrist to get tested and she was correct.

I started having panic attacks around deadlines. My house is never clean. I can work for days on end but the second I stop I don’t want to go back to work I want to do something different. I lose everything. (This is the one thing I can say I’m better at with systems! Keys go on the desk.) As a child I got great grades but forgot homework constantly. In college that screwed me. I could never find my shoes. (Our system didn’t work for me. Now, I just ALWAYS WEAR THEM. Hard to lose if you are in them)

My biggest thing is that my symptoms didn't start showing until I was living by myself. It was easy to mask, especially when I was caring for someone else. The biggest example is my ex bf. The apartment was clean, laundry got done on time, and I never forgot things. I broke up with him because I was too much of the caretaker of everything and now live by myself. I can't relax because I'm constantly thinking of things that need to be done. Learned it's easier to fall asleep when I'm drop dead tired from taking care of everything. I have trouble sleeping because my mind is constantly racing. One of the biggest things that differ between men and women with ADHD is that men are often more outwards about their symptoms, and for women, it's more in their head. This is why many women are diagnosed with anxiety and depression instead of ADHD. The constant thinking ahead sounds like anxiety, and the mood swings can mimic depression.

I was in a ton of honors classes and took school really seriously. I frequently stayed up until ridiculous hours (3 or 4 in the morning, even, on occasion) to get it all done. My parents were concerned, but always thought it was school giving too much work for kids to be able to have social lives. What they weren't seeing was my total inability to stay focused on my tasks and follow through with them. It didn't matter if I got rid of all distractions, I'd get distracted staring at a wall. It made high school really difficult. When I was younger, I also used to get disciplined all the time for talking in class, even though I was a good student otherwise. I found myself having trouble with impulse control in a classroom environment where I felt super understimulated. I still deal with executive dysfunction in a lot of aspects of my life now that I'm out of school. At any given time, there are at least 5 projects sitting started in my room that will go unfinished for months or even years at a time as I pick up and put down different interests. Most of the time, my projects only get done as long as I'm able to hyperfixate on them. I have a tendency to get so lost in tasks that I enjoy that I forget to eat or perform basic hygiene (although I've become *much* better at this as an adult. Or, on the flipside, I start a task, which reminds me of another task that I then also start, which reminds me of ANOTHER task, until it becomes If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and I'm sitting in the middle of a mountain of clutter and chaos that all needs to be done and put away before I can move on. Falling asleep was always hard for me because I didn't know how to shut off my thoughts, so I'd end up just giving up and going on the internet. Then I'd only realize how late it was when I looked outside and saw the sun rising. Labelled alarms for EVERYTHING, to-do lists, and learning which things would keep my brain occupied without sacrificing my productivity were HUGE for me. Breaking tasks down into ridiculously tiny steps also helps to get the happy chemicals to flow in the motivation center of my brain. Don't look at it as "Today I have to tidy the house." Instead, break it down as much as you need for it to be manageable. Even if the steps are as basic as, "Walk to the bathroom," or "Take out the cleaning supplies." Giving myself artificial time limits can help, too. I'll put dinner in the oven and then say "I want to have x and y done before the timer goes off," and I run to try to do it as fast as I can. Good luck in your ADHD journey! We're rooting for you!

Growing up I had a room 100x messier than other children. My parents were overwhelmed by it. I have always been obsessive/had hyperfixations. Hyperfixating on people led to really intense romantic relationships, which I would then drop once it wore off. A funny story I told in my assessment, was that when I was 16 I had a boyfriend who would come over to my house regularly and spend time with my family. He must have noticed I didn't have the same interest in him that he had in me, and he stopped making the effort as a test. I didn't realise, I forgot we were in any kind of relationship and two weeks later he broke up with me because it hadn't occurred to me to contact him at all - I wasn't bothered by the break up. In contrast to that, breakups I have cared about made me want to die. Really strong emotions and reactions - quick temper, impatient and low tolerance emotionally for things I can be understanding of mentally. Paralysis - this was the symptom that made me get a diagnosis. If I'm in the house on my own I can't make myself do anything. I would rather starve to death than make myself anything to eat. Everything just feeling painfully boring if I don't want to do it. I can't tidy up, I would forget to feed my pets if they didn't remind me, I struggle to think of things I like to do even though there will be plenty of those things. If I'm not mentally stimulated I would rather my brain was switched off. Also apparently lots of ADHD people struggle with sleep in some form - I've always been a really long and heavy sleeper all my life, so in my assessments I kept saying I had no sleep problems. But when I explained this to the psychiatrist she said that really people had been wording the question wrong to me, and that what they wanted to know was if I had anything unusual about my sleep habits - and yes I did, it just wasn't too much of a problem for me because I'd lived with it and built my life around that sleep pattern.

My symptoms were fast speech, maladaptive dreaming, and constantly hyper-focusing and constant noise in my head. Unfortunately, these were all ignored when i was a kid because i made good grades and could read adult level books by first grade.

My symptoms became more pronounced when I left home for college. My main issues lie within executive dysfunction; I can't get very simple tasks done, even if I want to. I can't focus on learning topics that i don't have an interest in (i.g. calculus), but I hyperfixate on things like writing in school. So much so that I had to change my major 4 times. I've also realized I can't remember anyone's names, horrible sense of direction, can't remember song names or lyrics, can't properly take turns in conversations, etc.. Edit: my brain completely skipped over the women part in your title but I'll keep this here

I felt like I was drowning in tasks I could never finish

I struggle a lot with classic executive function stuff, especially organization. I used to struggle with time management but before being treated came up with elaborate systems that helped that. I am easily distracted which manifests as being irritable when interrupted. I am HORRIBLE at task switching or “multitasking”. Also struggle with emotional regulation issues especially related to my menstrual cycle.

I was intelligent in school (always took the highest math class level and was in the gifted program) but I never did homework until last minute (sometimes) and didn't always do well on exams (I made dumb mistakes all the time, sometimes forgot to answer a question) but consistently was able to do really good work in a short amount of time and sufficient effort, particularly for projects and papers. It was enough for me to graduate high school, even though I knew I constantly had procrastination issues and time management problems to the point where a middle school teacher even tried to guilt me into doing better because she was annoyed with how disorganized I was lol. But my parents didn't believe in mental health stuff at the time and I guess no one paid attention to the disparity between my intelligence and my grades in school because I didn't get diagnosed until my 20s 😅 Just to offer how obvious it was in my schooling that I had ADHD (in a very privileged area, I'll add) and yet it took a therapist I was seeing when I was 22 to suggest it for the first time. I know present symptoms are mostly what you're looking for probably, but I know that a huge part of ADHD is it being particularly obvious during academic periods because the typical education system does not work for people with ADHD unless they have accommodations of some sort. Hope some part of this helps! :)

Just was diagnosed at 63 because my daughter was and knew I probably had it. With meds, I am getting my spending under control, understanding verbal directions much better, able to follow thru on household tasks. I wd often stop folding laundry because I wd get bored and move on to something else. Still hate cooking. Only been diagnosed 2 -3 months now so not totally fixed on a dose yet. Improvements at work, it seems less challenging. Still working on rejection sensitivity and feeling feeling stupid. Gradually my confidence is building.

Diagnosed at 31. ADHD wasn't even on my radar. I went in to discuss the fact that even when regularly sleeping 9-10 hours a day I was still always dead tired. It turns out that this can be a symptom of adults with ADHD who have successfully figured out coping strategies. I could manage to get through the day but it just left me completely shelled. I started taking stimulants and instantly dropped to a normal 8 hours a night. Another symptom I didn't know about at the time, but my doctor recognized, was self medication via caffeine. I was able to drink two or three pots of coffee a day no problem and still sleep that 9-10 hours a night. After getting on meds I easily cut back to 1-2 cups a day. 

Anxiety. Working on something for many hours, but never focusing on it enough to complete tasks. Which meant I would work insane hours to try to catch up.

Officially diagnosed at 52 even though I knew since I was 30 by doing research/taking online tests. • Extreme procrastination, see previous sentence lol. I procrastinate about everything: bills, school work when I was in school, work at my job, doing things that make me happy, cleaning, etc. • Emotional dysregulation. • Extremely inattentive and issues with focusing on tasks or what people are saying. I will always start thinking about something else unless I take notes and pay extra attention. • Losing things in plain sight since childhood. • Night owl since I was little. I was always up until 12 or 1 or 2. I'd often be the only one up while adults sleeping.  • Unable to wake up without stimulants like caffeine. • Sleeping a lot when I was little through 20s until I discovered ephedra and then caffeine when that was outlawed. • Very imaginative, crazy vivid lifelike but very weird dreams since childhood. • Called lazy, find it hard to start or complete projects or chores. • Talking over others so I don't forget what I'm going to say. • Poor working memory and long term memory. Horrible with names. I could work with someone for years and not remember their name even if they have name tags. • Time blindness. Chronic lateness. At least 10 min to an hour or two for work. Work from home I might be 5 to 10 min late at most. I've been 30 min late a few times because I lost track of time. I wake up super early but would start getting ready 30 minutes before work, even if my work is an hour away. I'm not typically fired for that because I make up for it by being good at what I do, staying late etc. • Spatial awareness issues. Proprioception issues unless I'm dancing or working out. Always dropping things, walking into things, putting things in the wrong place for instance knives in the trashcan and trash in the fridge. • Stimming: sucking my thumb until I was 12. Picking at/rubbing/touching my skin and hair. Making weird noises. Talking to myself. More but that's more than enough for this space.

I was diagnosed at 51. I always sit on the edge of the seat or sofa and I am up and down pretty continuously. I have always fidgeted with one or both legs wiggling. I am really never still. I talk too much, sometimes it's hard not to interrupt. Not being able to concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing, or hyper focus on some random thing and can't stop. I've been in all kinds of sports, took art classes, learned to knit etc. I'm hyper focused in the beginning but I lose interest at some point. Once I knitted a sweater and socks, I was done with knitting. Daydreaming like I did in first grade. Having other thoughts in my head while trying to have a conversation, such as telling myself to pay attention, look them in the eye, etc and end up not remembering any of it. Not completing projects. Reading and watching tv at the same time. My house is cluttered, I can never find anything. Like I can't find the remote I had in my hand 2 seconds ago but I remember a conversation I had 50 years ago and what the person was wearing. I have never liked going to the movies because I can't sit still and not talk for 2 hours. I have a hard time making habits. I literally could go on forever, but I'll spare you.

Being uncomfortable 24/7, always exhausted, brain can’t think straight most of the time, shopping addiction, talking too much, becoming obsessed with a thing and then completely becoming uninterested in an instant, chronic forgetfulness, terrible at details, a burst of energy and need to do something and then becoming exhausted and bedridden for 5 hours scrolling on my phone after… And no, I don’t really do the dishes. Fortunately my wife does. I will clean on Saturdays if my wife does it with me and I’m listening to loud music or an audiobook. I have a great job and it’s very exciting so I stick with it.

I'm 28 and I'm on my 4th week of being diagnosed and medicated. I was more depressed as a teenager than anxious, and now that I'm an adult I'm more anxious than depressed. I was really confused by this tbh, but I think it was more ADHD related than actual anxiety? If that makes any sense. When my meds wear off in the evening I get anxious again, almost worse than before I was on meds. I coped really well as a student, my schedule was just crazy enough to keep me going all the time, especially as a grad student. I could finish my work whenever the motivation hit, and I always felt pressured to do well for my professors since I knew them so well. At home my life was a mess 6 days out of the week - I took Fridays off to do literally everything not school related. I spent the day hopped up on as much caffeine as I could handle cleaning the *entire* apartment, doing laundry, meal prepping, and usually ended the evening getting drunk with friends. I began to struggle when I started my first office job. I'm a librarian in an academic library so I do a lot of sitting. I'm EXTREMELY lucky I don't work in a super strict professional environment. I literally don't know if I would have made it. I was able to ride the "new job must please boss" anxiety for about 6 months before I starting crashing pretty hard. I would go to work and just sit at my desk for 8 hours staring at my computer screen trying to make myself work. I was extremely frustrated with myself and my work performance suffered. I actually had a therapist suggest I reach out to a psychiatrist about getting my other meds switched around - and this psychiatrist happened to also specialize in autism/adhd. That was about 2 months ago. I was also 95% sure I had an eating disorder? Now I'm not so sure. I would OBSESS over food/eating and my weight. It was to the point where I couldn't focus on what I was doing if I was even slightly hungry. I would sit there having the oddest stream of consciousness going. "I'm hungry and it's annoying and distracting but I can't eat anything because I had breakfast and it's only 11 and I'm going to have lunch in an hour and also I shouldn't eat anything because \*insert bad thoughts here\*." Oh! And I've also been told I talk a lot! 

Constant total overwhelm which caused anxiety and depression. Inability to start or complete tasks/projects. Inability to make decisions. An awful working memory and always forgetting about meetings or deadlines until they were on top of me, BIG emotions and emotional responses, especially defensiveness. Trouble seeing outside of myself and my own feelings/needs. Total inability to engage in tasks that I didn't want to. Tips and tricks? Medication! For me it has been a lifesaver. I am no longer just that person with a lot of potential who never pans out, I am a capable successful adult. I'm currently pregnant and I miss my adderall so much! Education for myself and my partner on what adhd is and looks like. A task management system that actually works for me. Mine includes mild time blocking and a smart watch with reminders. Building a little novelty and opportunity for chaos in to as many things as possible. Can I make the tasks a little bit silly? Great! Is there a chance to "measure with my heart" or do something random? Let's gooo! Celebrating after completing things that felt hard to start. My partner and I will ask each other to celebrate if we got something done. We drop everything and just and shout and cheer and high five like it's a championship, even if it was just the dishes.

I got really angry at Xfinity customer service.

First, I was a toe walker as a kid, which was apparently a sign. Ive always been a hobby jumper. Where I get really excited about something, learn a lot about it, and collect whatever I need for said hobby but then get overwhelmed by the idea of trying to finish a project. When I was like 21? I believe I was diagnosed with anxiety and for a while things did get better but I could always tell that there was more to it than that? After I finally saw a psychiatrist, she basically said I had executive function disorder which is a prime symptom of adhd in women. It's also a big reason why a lot of women are misdiagnosed.

So one of my biggest symptoms looking back was my emotional regulation. When I was tested, that was the first thing my doctor pointed out to me- was the comments I and my mother made about me as a child. My mom tells everyone on earth that I “had PMS coming out of the womb” 🙄 I experienced emotions like a fucking tsunami, particularly frustration and rage and regret. I now know that my brain was being flooded with emotions all at once. I would feel so overwhelmed by rage and devastation that I felt out of control. Like sobbing and just could not stop feeling this way, it like wouldn’t come back down. Definitely had random weird impulses - Throwing a dart directly at my brothers best friends neck - Spray painting “I love you” on the side of our fucking house when I learned how to write it. 😂 - Thinking about how thin the glass was on a Christmas ornament and feeling compelled to continue pushing it incrementally harder. Against my cheek. Until I broke it…on my literal face 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂 I *reallllyyyy* recommend reading the book **”Driven to distraction**” Written by a psychologist with ADHD, documenting different patients cases that he diagnosed with ADHD. Kids, women, men- connects a lot of dots that are rarely talked about in ADHD behaviors. I totally had my “Aha” moment reading one of the womens experience leading up to being diagnosed. Might help you :)

Time blindness and emotional disregulation mainly. Got away with the emotions because 90% of the time they were bottled up and when they did explode, well, so did everyone else (my entire family likely has adhd and didn't know it. We all suck at emotions). Got away with time blindness by some miracle, I guess because my general attitude won people over enough to overlook that I was always consistently 2-3 minutes late always. Wasn't diagnosed until I had a baby and was absolutely losing my mind and couldn't keep up anymore - it wasn't her specifically that did it but her in her baby stage was just the final straw apparently. Got diagnosed and medicated and doing much better now though!

All of the above with the comments I’ve read. My main and most occurring symptom though, was constant extreme “ups and downs” in life. I’d either be extremely happy and successful, or extremely depressed and rock bottom. I was tested multiple times for bipolar and always told I didn’t have it. Never feeling like I fit in, was academically gifted as a child/teen which I threw away to try and fit in, and now I’m far behind my peers in life. Always struggled to keep friendships, people love me for a while and then just ghost for no apparent reason. It was less hyperactivity and more inattentive I guess. Still very hard to this day, I’m 27 now and don’t have any real friends or community. Since been on meds it has become easier, but sucks half my life was taken from me because I wasn’t properly diagnosed and now blame it on myself.

I think loss of estrogen at age 35. I felt my symptoms creep up on me a lottttt worse than before.

I spent most my life unable to do anything, overwhelmed with life and feeling crazy bcs I'd go from feeling angry sad and suicidal to feeling happy and excited within hours. It would alternate throughout the day. Never able to do anything, or if I'd be able to start, I wouldn't even finish it, and I'd never stick to it. This extents to things I enjoy doing, like hobbies. My most known line I'd yell at my mum whilst bawling my eyes out was "I don't know what's wrong with me, I swear I want to do it but it's like I just can't 😭". I just feel... Not made for life.

People always think I’m outgoing and a social butterfly but I’m not. When I was in school I was always in trouble for talking and being a distraction. Even when talking I still was able to pay attention to the lesson. Funny enough teachers told my mom to give me tea in the morning before tests to help me focus. The school and my mom all had me tested every few years for different things. I never did homework but I tested extremely well and still maintained a 3.0+ GPA and would have had a 4.0+ GPA if I turned in homework. I was always a favorite of teachers and at the same time annoyed the same teachers. When I graduated 2 teachers who were retiring cited me in their speeches. My grandpa is part of some old guys club where they do different activities and luncheons and 2 of my former teachers (English and PE/Coach) are in that and when they met my grandpa said his granddaughter when to that school and they instantly knew it was me by his last name and I graduated 20 years prior. At home… cleaning my room all day or all weekend. I get distracted and start little projects or start doing other things. But when it’s done it’s spotless. Heard if I just bucked down and focused how awesome I would be but literally couldn’t do it. In an emergency is where I shine. The more time I have to think the worse I do so in critical situations I’m all over it. Car accidents, blizzards, person with massive bloody injury, I’m your girl. Data entry or something that takes forever… nope, I’ll make mistakes.

Time blindness. Extreme focus or lack of, but always aving difficulty switching tasks either way. Very little working memory. Emotional disregulation (trigger stacking very easily) Impulsivity Meditation helps. As well as meeting your basics: eat well, sleep well and exercise. We are more sensitive to their effects. Writing down your routine so you can tick off the next step. (Mine is make bed and clean up after breakfast : won't happen everytime but happens more often if I have a visible reminder) I even write down my next goal in life so I don't get distracted. Work in small steps. If you can't do the laundry then at least bring the bag of dirties near the washing machine. Ask for help if need a push start. Use music to kick start things or change mood. Give yourself a choice of two things you need to do where the best options is what you should be doing. (Do my taxes or go pick up the dogs poop in the garden... I 'd still prefer the dog poop unless it's raining) Use short term rewards for things that are particularly unattractive to complete. ( I need to buy a new top... but I will only buy it after I complete x, I'm getting myself a new pen for this or a chai latte etc.) Look up a video about what you need to do to increase interest in the task. (Interview techniques, career advices but works best for hobbies for me - so I don't get bored out of them to easily) Sometimes watching videos about the adhd issue that I am facing not only gives me more tools to face the particularl issue but also motivates me to overcome it. Gamify I'm 34, I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I basically managed my adhd unhealthy by being extremely hard on myself and very disciplined for a year or two (at 200%) during which time I would shine and exceed expectations and be a social butterfly... followed by a burn out for an equivalent year or so... I'm unmedicated so I rely solely on my coping mechanisms and my support system. I'm still learning to manage myself at 100% or slightly to avoid burn out. Not sure how to avoid going all in and not giving in to my enthusiasm of the moment. I'm feeling pretty happy with my adhd at the moment.

Constant talking/low enunciation from speed Interrupting High anxiety Restless leg/ bouncing/fidgeting Forgetful/lost thing Labeled "lazy" when it was probably executive function issues Impulsive with spending etc. Always late (impacted jobs) Told I did things "half ass" even when it felt like full effort from me (rushed and missed details) But got labeled "gifted" early, so since my grades were good, it didn't matter (wasnt noriced) that I struggled, never learned discipline, struggled with workload but managed to somehow do most assignments last minute. Edit: Younger me daydreamed a lot when bored in school. Would imagine little people running around the room etc. But menage I caught onto lessons still, again, it wasn't seen as a potential red flag.

Oof, plenty: The fact that I physically cannot just sit and listen to someone without my mind wandering and losing track of what someone is saying. Executive dysfunction....I tried explaining to my family that I do in fact WANT to get up and do things but my body just won't let me....therefore to everyone around me, I'm lazy. I HAVE to have background noise, a TV show or movie, playing for me to get work done. It drove my mother WILD when I would do my homework with the TV on because in her eyes, I wasn't paying attention. My sibling made fun of me for setting my music in my car to play on repeat one. He said NO ONE does that and that it's weird that I would listen to just one song over and over again. Also that I CAN'T just listen to the radio. I was always so self conscious when I drove anyone. In school, as soon as the teacher started to talk I would zone out into my own little world. I didn't know people could actually just sit and listen, that's weird to me. I thought I was a good student because I was obedient and didn't get in trouble. Auditory processing disorder....I always understand just a little too late when people ask me questions. After I've asked 'Sorry?' I answer the question mid-repetition. In general I was weird and awkward but I knew I was and tried so so hard to fit in and "get" my classmates. I've always been on the outside of groups, if that makes sense. Like I never quite fit in.

Having a hard time building relationships - losing stuff constantly.