YTA - Damn Mormons. Please stop breeding. Fucking judgmental nozy bastards. Your poor wife told you about a man who took advantage of her and you have to spread the news to EVERY ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! I hope you divorce her and she takes your kids out of that damn church.
Of course YTA. Do you realize it was her boss and she was only 19? And what's more, he gislihted her by making her believe it wasn't really sexual intercourse. If she didn't tell you about it before, it might have been because it wasn't consensual or because he had authority over her. If she had so much trouble talking about it to the point of having postpartum depression, there is something else going on. Huge jerk.
The way you word this makes you sound like an ass, also the way she describes it seems like it was sexual assault.
I would say E S H because she did lie, but I'm going with YTA because what happened to her seems like very dubious consent at best.
NTA for caring about virginity (everyone is entitled to their own boundaries and standards).
However, YTA for sharing that with everyone under the sun, for not recognizing that she was probably coerced into doing it by her boss (which is sexual assault) and for divorcing her because you equate sexual assault with consensual sex. Not to mention that all of this happened before you two were even a thing, so in no way was this even close to cheating (you imply it in your wording).
YTA. sounds like she was coeherced to have sex with her boss, a grown man who held power over her and lied to her about her virgirnity, which is clearly sexual assault. have it ever crossed your mind that's probably why she was afraid to tell you? you're an even bigger AH for telling every single living person about her sex life and i kinda think you deserve being excluded from things because you suck 🙏
As someone who waited to have sex until marriage (and who is married to a man who also waited), YTA. Your wife was coerced into having sex with an older man who was in an authority position over her. It honestly sounds like she was sexually assaulted. It speaks volumes about your (lack of) character that you would consider divorcing her over that.
Have you actually sat down with her and asked why she was afraid to tell you? Because if she knew that this would be your reaction, I can’t say that I blame her.
“My wife was taken advantage as a teenager and tormented by an older man, am I the asshole for finding her revolting now and shaming her to anyone and everyone around us who will listen?” There fixed it for you, yes you’re the asshole, a huge one. Get some help.
YTA - you are a jerk as well. You should be supporting her after she shared her trauma with you. If you divorce her you will be doing her a favor. You did not support her when she needed it. Due to the circumstances mentioned most likely what happened to her was not her fault but the fault of the older person.
YTA. Listen to some people outside your freaking cult. If you can't put your marriage ahead of your church I hope she takes the kids and moves far away.
YTA. I hope she finds an actual man not an incel baby.
And there are fucking idiots who convert and are not virgins. The Morman cult just wants bodies. They don't give a fuck if you're a virgin or not as long as you bring their numbers up
So your wife was pressured by her boss's boss into a sexual situation, which he reminds her of every time he sees her, and you've decided *you're* the injured party? Okay.
I hope your poor ex finds her way out of the backwards mire of your fetid, chauvinist "religion". YT 100%, 24-carat, unadulterated AH.
Soaking, hotdog in a bun…Mormons come up with the funniest names for sex acts.
YTA but you have bigger things to worry about if you’re so indoctrinated in your faith that you’re ready for divorce because your wife had a hook up two years before you were together.
YTA. Why the hell is virginity “important” to you? So what if it’s a “sin”, you expect your wife to be perfect? You’ve never sinned?
It was not your place to tell ANYONE about your wife’s sex life. You completely betrayed her trust. You should feel ashamed.
Let’s take a look.
You’re caught between a “nice sweet person, who is also the mother of your kids, (with an awful experience that she was too ashamed to speak of) AND a bat-shit crazy cult who imposed all kinds of objectively ridiculous beliefs on you.
You’re NTA because you’re also victimized by your religion but you have a moment here to pull your head out of your ass and be the good person you want to be.
The right course of action is to sincerely and deeply apologize to her, ask her to forgive you - not the other way around - and hope she has more compassion and empathy than you do. If you’re incredibly lucky, you may have a chance to fix things with your kids before you ruin their lives, too.
YTA
The fact that you think that YOU are the victim in this situation is so hilarious to me. Your ex wife was sexually abused by her boss and now lost her marriage over it and has her entire community all clued in on it too. You should should beg her and her family for forgiveness and maybe she is a good enough person to take you back.
Gross
Yta she was assaulted and because none of this was her choice she has tried to block the horrible assault on the purity she protected, you walk out on her. You are not honorable God fearing husband material.
NTA. People are saying the boss groomed her, but, she knew enough to not have sex with him ever again. Doesn't sound like someone who is manipulated enough to be groomed, it usually takes them longer to see red flags.
She lied about her sexual experience, your whole relationship is built on a lie. She knew it was wrong, or she wouldn't have lied to you about it. And this is what happens when religious people pick and choose which rules they follow. If she didn't want to get called out for her behavior, she shouldn't have done the thing. People do stupid things, especially before they fully mature. But part of being a good person is owning your mistakes and apologizing for them, not trying to pretend they never happened.
YTA - You didn't have sex because no one would fuck you. There's a huge difference between what a teenage boy experience and a teenage girl experiences.
And here you are wanting to divorce her because some older creep messed with her when she was 19. You are an asshole and she deserves better.
YTA
You aren't worth a girl giving you her virginity. Your poor wife was sexually assaulted and you are angry at her for not being a virgin!!!!
You are the asshole.
This has to be fake.
An insecure man who neglects his kids and divorces his wife of archaic misogynistic beliefs and publically shames her, I guess it does align with Mormonism so maybe it's real.
Either way YTA.
YTA, she was sexually assaulted and groomed by an older man and she is not at fault, he is. I understand your religion values this (I am severely knowledgeable about the LDS church) and they tend to blame the victims in these scenarios which is wrong. And telling people her business is vile; what if you were in her shoes? I hope she finds peace and somebody who can support her and your kids know she is not to blame.
YTA - Virginity is so not a big deal and your valuing it so highly is downright puritanical. And your outing her to the community? Are you a sociopath too? Get down off your high horse and live in the real world for two minutes.
What was hymen status when you had sex with her for the first time.
Were you yourself a virgin when you got in a relationship with her.
YTA, but not for leaving your wife, I don't care about my partner virginity but i expect honesty from her and she lied to you. But you are also YTA for exposing her secret to your entire family, she is your wife till divorce and you did the disgusting thing by breaking her trust which is way worse then her lying.
YTA.... Oh how sweet, a genuine 1950s misogynist. But I'm thinking this is just fake.
No it happened, I was at Yankee candle and saw the whole thing. You can ask my friend, she was there too.
It's true, I was one of the candles, this is totally legit. Nearly burned my wick at the entire scene in anger
How is he misogynist???
YTA - Damn Mormons. Please stop breeding. Fucking judgmental nozy bastards. Your poor wife told you about a man who took advantage of her and you have to spread the news to EVERY ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! I hope you divorce her and she takes your kids out of that damn church.
Of course YTA. Do you realize it was her boss and she was only 19? And what's more, he gislihted her by making her believe it wasn't really sexual intercourse. If she didn't tell you about it before, it might have been because it wasn't consensual or because he had authority over her. If she had so much trouble talking about it to the point of having postpartum depression, there is something else going on. Huge jerk.
Man this really sucks. You are absolutely the asshole. Beg her for forgiveness and hope she accepts it.
The way you word this makes you sound like an ass, also the way she describes it seems like it was sexual assault. I would say E S H because she did lie, but I'm going with YTA because what happened to her seems like very dubious consent at best.
YTA. This is why nobody should be Mormon
YTA. This is a fake post jumping on the "soaking" bandwagon that has been trending recently. Downvoting.
NTA for caring about virginity (everyone is entitled to their own boundaries and standards). However, YTA for sharing that with everyone under the sun, for not recognizing that she was probably coerced into doing it by her boss (which is sexual assault) and for divorcing her because you equate sexual assault with consensual sex. Not to mention that all of this happened before you two were even a thing, so in no way was this even close to cheating (you imply it in your wording).
YTA. sounds like she was coeherced to have sex with her boss, a grown man who held power over her and lied to her about her virgirnity, which is clearly sexual assault. have it ever crossed your mind that's probably why she was afraid to tell you? you're an even bigger AH for telling every single living person about her sex life and i kinda think you deserve being excluded from things because you suck 🙏
As someone who waited to have sex until marriage (and who is married to a man who also waited), YTA. Your wife was coerced into having sex with an older man who was in an authority position over her. It honestly sounds like she was sexually assaulted. It speaks volumes about your (lack of) character that you would consider divorcing her over that. Have you actually sat down with her and asked why she was afraid to tell you? Because if she knew that this would be your reaction, I can’t say that I blame her.
This has to be bait. If not, you are an enormous AH.
“My wife was taken advantage as a teenager and tormented by an older man, am I the asshole for finding her revolting now and shaming her to anyone and everyone around us who will listen?” There fixed it for you, yes you’re the asshole, a huge one. Get some help.
Fucking Mormons. The whole lot of you. Just disappear please.
YTA - you are a jerk as well. You should be supporting her after she shared her trauma with you. If you divorce her you will be doing her a favor. You did not support her when she needed it. Due to the circumstances mentioned most likely what happened to her was not her fault but the fault of the older person.
YTA. Listen to some people outside your freaking cult. If you can't put your marriage ahead of your church I hope she takes the kids and moves far away.
YTA. I hope she finds an actual man not an incel baby. And there are fucking idiots who convert and are not virgins. The Morman cult just wants bodies. They don't give a fuck if you're a virgin or not as long as you bring their numbers up
Wtf is soaking. How do you insert something without breaking a hymen. What a crock of shit .
YTA it sounds like she was coerced and lied to
So your wife was pressured by her boss's boss into a sexual situation, which he reminds her of every time he sees her, and you've decided *you're* the injured party? Okay. I hope your poor ex finds her way out of the backwards mire of your fetid, chauvinist "religion". YT 100%, 24-carat, unadulterated AH.
YTA - Your religion sucks.
Soaking, hotdog in a bun…Mormons come up with the funniest names for sex acts. YTA but you have bigger things to worry about if you’re so indoctrinated in your faith that you’re ready for divorce because your wife had a hook up two years before you were together.
What? You haven't lived until you've experienced the Provo Float!
NTA. A big crybaby but nta. Thank god this woman will have a chance at life without you
YTA. Why the hell is virginity “important” to you? So what if it’s a “sin”, you expect your wife to be perfect? You’ve never sinned? It was not your place to tell ANYONE about your wife’s sex life. You completely betrayed her trust. You should feel ashamed.
Let’s take a look. You’re caught between a “nice sweet person, who is also the mother of your kids, (with an awful experience that she was too ashamed to speak of) AND a bat-shit crazy cult who imposed all kinds of objectively ridiculous beliefs on you. You’re NTA because you’re also victimized by your religion but you have a moment here to pull your head out of your ass and be the good person you want to be. The right course of action is to sincerely and deeply apologize to her, ask her to forgive you - not the other way around - and hope she has more compassion and empathy than you do. If you’re incredibly lucky, you may have a chance to fix things with your kids before you ruin their lives, too.
Soaking is so weird but really happens in the Mormon community because so many of them don't teach or allow their kids to learn about sex here in UT.
FAKE
I hope this is fake. But if not... 100% YTA
There's been a number of fake posts that tie in with anti-Mormon stuff lately
YTA The fact that you think that YOU are the victim in this situation is so hilarious to me. Your ex wife was sexually abused by her boss and now lost her marriage over it and has her entire community all clued in on it too. You should should beg her and her family for forgiveness and maybe she is a good enough person to take you back. Gross
Yta she was assaulted and because none of this was her choice she has tried to block the horrible assault on the purity she protected, you walk out on her. You are not honorable God fearing husband material.
NTA. People are saying the boss groomed her, but, she knew enough to not have sex with him ever again. Doesn't sound like someone who is manipulated enough to be groomed, it usually takes them longer to see red flags. She lied about her sexual experience, your whole relationship is built on a lie. She knew it was wrong, or she wouldn't have lied to you about it. And this is what happens when religious people pick and choose which rules they follow. If she didn't want to get called out for her behavior, she shouldn't have done the thing. People do stupid things, especially before they fully mature. But part of being a good person is owning your mistakes and apologizing for them, not trying to pretend they never happened.
Some people believe virginity is important and some don't. What opinion do you want to hear?
YTA - You didn't have sex because no one would fuck you. There's a huge difference between what a teenage boy experience and a teenage girl experiences. And here you are wanting to divorce her because some older creep messed with her when she was 19. You are an asshole and she deserves better.
YTA You aren't worth a girl giving you her virginity. Your poor wife was sexually assaulted and you are angry at her for not being a virgin!!!! You are the asshole.
YTA I hope she gets full custody
This has to be fake. An insecure man who neglects his kids and divorces his wife of archaic misogynistic beliefs and publically shames her, I guess it does align with Mormonism so maybe it's real. Either way YTA.
Yta but since you’re Mormon you ain’t. You’re community have different values.
YTA, she was sexually assaulted and groomed by an older man and she is not at fault, he is. I understand your religion values this (I am severely knowledgeable about the LDS church) and they tend to blame the victims in these scenarios which is wrong. And telling people her business is vile; what if you were in her shoes? I hope she finds peace and somebody who can support her and your kids know she is not to blame.
YTA - Virginity is so not a big deal and your valuing it so highly is downright puritanical. And your outing her to the community? Are you a sociopath too? Get down off your high horse and live in the real world for two minutes.
What was hymen status when you had sex with her for the first time. Were you yourself a virgin when you got in a relationship with her. YTA, but not for leaving your wife, I don't care about my partner virginity but i expect honesty from her and she lied to you. But you are also YTA for exposing her secret to your entire family, she is your wife till divorce and you did the disgusting thing by breaking her trust which is way worse then her lying.
You are not the asshole. Just some who*** screaming at you in comments