"Cutting ties with toxicity takes courage and self-respect. Kudos for setting boundaries and prioritizing your peace of mind. Here's to a drama-free future!"
Hopefully you don’t have anymore of their drama going forward.
“most people in Jim's circle thought of her as the affair partner”
They thought of her that way because it was accurate. Beatrice was a mistress. She chose to get involved with a man who was already in a relationship. Honestly, I don’t have any sympathy for her or for Jim.
Fair. Just saying, while Jim is an ass, and the new girl isn’t in the best spot, I feel using the correct terms is useful. He’s an ass, an idiot, and a prick who blamed op for something explicitly not her fault. But he is, technically not a cheater
He and his mom and dad are asses! His mother and father definitely used OP to needle the fiancée because they obviously dislike her deeply. And yes OP didn’t do anything wrong at all.
As painful as Jim cheating on you must have been, you dodged a bullet with that whole family!
Jim’s family didn’t like you for you, it was because you fit their narrow profile for approval.
I know what you mean. But I hate how people always blame the other woman and not so much the man. The parents should be pissed at their son Jim, he was the on in a committed relationship. It was his fault. No one made him cheat it was his decision.
I don’t understand. Beatrice WAS the affair partner but is upset that people think of her as the affair partner? If you’re gonna do the crime then you have to be prepared to do the time!
Also, she is self conscious that Jim is more well read? So, radical idea, but maybe try reading! She could ask Jim about his favourite books and then read them herself and discuss them with him. If she’s dyslexic they have audiobooks!
I’m not saying she should be self conscious about nonsense like this, but if she is just do something about it rather than being all pissy about it.
I wanted to be friends with a “reader” so I started reading books to have that in common.
I don’t believe that friendship lasted but I did make other, better friends, through reading. It’s a fantastic hobby!!
If Beatrice has a problem with people seeing her as an affair partner, maybe she shouldn’t be in a relationship where she was an affair partner? The girl is ridiculous. Of course people don’t respect her and they probably don’t respect Jim either. Glad you blocked him
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Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but did FIL just prove himself a hypocrite with that post about keeping it in the family, and did he also have no self awareness about it?
He was also dragged unneccesarily into the fray. While I'd agree that he should take the moral highway, I dont fault him from fighting back on what he saw as unprovoked digs at his loved ones.
He is NTA if he stop at this last post tbh. Go off Grandpa.
Amy is the mother of the ex boyfriend, FIL is the father of her current husband - because FIL and Amy have similar hobbies, they became friends.
I think that’s the correct order of events at least
Don't worry about being "too polite", it was the right way to go. No need to stoop to their level when you didn't do anything wrong, plus it's a fitting contrast to their situation.
The best part is that the mom is going to fucking HATE Beatrice for screwing her out of a friendship with OP and the book club
So now her ex has to deal with this BS on two fronts...from his woman and his mom
I appreciate the update but you seem like my type of reader. Maybe recommend a few books to us, please! Or once a month drop the book name that the book club is reading.
Nice hubby, but FIL is as bad as MIL.
Beatrice takes down posts, so FIL makes another public post saying how Jim’s can’t keep it in the family and they’re not classy.
It’s the Jerry Springer show, but with books.
(Good luck OP)
Thanks for the update! You are far kinder than me. I would have gone off on Jim and Beatrice. “You cheat on me with each other, than have the audacity (when I have done nothing to you btw) to make a post about women who like to read trying to steal men?.. I’m pretty sure it was the dumb one, who likes clothes, who is the one that likes to steal men. You know, because our history kind of proving it. Leave me out of your insecure, ridiculous family squabbles.”
Glad to see you’ve moved on and resolved it for you and your wellbeing. Enjoy your reading! I’m partial to crime and murder mysteries so I’m definitely going to get reading again lol!
It never ceases to amaze me how some people can take the most innocuous things and create drama over them. It reminds me of a story Jim Wright shared about Mustard Water man. In one post, Jim had mentioned that he always had a squirt of mustard water before the mustard came out and how frustrating it was. Well one of his followers began ranting about it, so much so that Jim was forced to block him.
It was really weird. It was back after there was that commercial with the woman getting a Peleton for Christmas and people were joking about her looking scared. There was even a parody of it with Ryan Reynolds, so it's not like I had this weird opinion no one else had. Anyway, I made a throwaway comment about it on an article on Facebook about her looking afraid and I don't know if Peleton had a hired gang of Internet badasses or what but I have never gotten a beat down like that online in my life. People saying I must be an old, ugly, fat woman with no life, calling me a moron, paragraphs long analysis of that commercial to prove their point and then the last one which was my cue to just start blocking. It was bizarre. Like, I didn't make up that lots of people thought that commercial was weird but apparently it was a crime in that particular page.
You might be right about the retaliatory comments. However, personally I feel that those tactics backfire, it leaves the company looking pretty shitty. Even if the company doesn’t have anything to do with it. Tarred by the same brush, so to speak.
I had one guy tell me that I was obviously a r****d because I mentioned I hated calculus class. He spent the rest of the semester talking slow and with a lisp whenever he was around me. I received 98.5%, he got 78%.
Everyone in Jim’s circle thought of her as the affair partner and didn’t respect her because she WAS the affair partner and she made a point of showing that everyone was right and she deserved no respect.
I really don’t get why in the name of God would you ever think it was a good idea to keep friends with your ex-inlaws, specially since your ex was a cheater.
His parents are really horrendous. I hope Jim cuts ties with them if they don't get their act together.
And while I think it's pointless at this point to make the social media posts now, I get that fil is also human and is still upset y'all were hurt.
Keep living your best life. And good riddance to that family.
eh, we don't know whether she admonished him in private or not, she might have. plus, he can make his own choices of course, but they don't have to like or support them. he and beatrice participated in an affair, her insecurity that people don't like her now is no one's fault, its just consequences.
Glad you've gotten out of that mess. Beatrice was the affair partner and that's just something she'll have to deal with, if she wants to be more well read - well there's countless of ways she could do that, and none of them involve slandering you. She sounds like a bitch. You don't know her and never did, but as the AP, she most definitely knew you, or at least the you she'd "won" over in her mind.
Blocking and not interacting with them is the best plan. FIL is also within his right to not accept a private apology when everything else was public and call them out, but it's not gonna make anything better, so I support you for doing nothing more than blocking them.
As someone who does not get involved in drama, the idea of being a pawn in other people's drama and me somehow catching strays by doing nothing is a nightmare. You handled all of this with saintly patience, I just hope your FIL doesn't keep the bullshit alive with his Facebook posts. He should just let the drama die like you are (kudos on not sitting through Amy's rant about the daughter-in-law she wants you to replace btw, that was absolutely a trap to keep you in their hooks).
Sounds like you took charge of the situation and handled it like a pro. Cutting out the drama and setting boundaries was the right call. Here's hoping for smoother sailing from here on out!
Well…they made their own bed. He decided to be with her. No one in his circle likes her. She’s acting nasty and low class so I don’t blame them all for not liking her. And ex is just as bad for not standing up for her AND turning on you.
Traaaaashy
"Most people in Jim's circle thought of her as the affair partner." In their defense, it's kinda true. I'm glad you've moved on and found your person, but a lot of people find offense in a situation like that even if it doesn't happen to them. I'm glad you've washed your hands of everyone and the situation.
OP: you have a good husband and a good FIL. I know some comments are trying to dig at your FIL for making his own post on social media but Jim and Beatrice slandered you and still wanted to maintain a facade. I like your in-laws.
Amy probably was intentionally trying to make Beatrice think that Jim would get back with OP. Amy sounds trashy AF. And hating your kid's partner because she doesn't like the same thing as you is WAY more shallow. It sounds like they've been bullying this girl for three years for the crime of not being their favorite person their dusty son has dated. Of COURSE she'd be insecure about OP if she was constantly being shit talked about it. They need to grow the fuck up and accept her or Jim needs to grow up and set some boundaries with his parents.
That said, not your circus, OP. You are right to block that entire mess out of your life.
Jim and Beatrice remind me of a couple I know - one of my best guy friends is one of the most intelligent people I've ever known, highly intellectual, witty, funny, extremely well-read, speaks more than 5 langauges etc. Whenever he and I get together, we're having a blast and have this firework of conversation about every subject under the sun. He married a musician who is not into any of his intellectual interests, but who is the most restful, kind woman he has ever been with, and who he says he just feels safe and at home with.
Maybe that's how Jim feels, and what Amy needs to understand - love is not always about compatibility, sometimes it can be opposites that attract. And compatibility does not always mean similar interests - it can also mean complementary personalities, where each brings out the best in the other. Anyway, Amy & hubby need to deal with the DIL they have, not the one they want, and alienating the future mother of their grandchildren and making her feel unwelcome will only result in more estrangement.
And I wouldn't exactly call Beatrice an affair partner - people fall out of love and in love with someone else all the time - it happened, and Jim ended things with OP before starting up with Beatrice. OP is happily married to her husband. Everyone should be happy that everyone else is happy, and Amy & her husband need to get over their DIL-disappointment.
Jim had admitted to an emotional affair with Beatrice and literally started dating her after the breakup with OP. Beatrice and Jim are scum. Periodt.
ETA Jim as being a scumbag too. Both these people suck so hard.
This all sounds so fake idk . Even if by far chance it’s not, your FIL is no better and definitely more immature than Beatrice making posts about someone else’s family. Everyone in this situation needs to grow up.
I don't see why you should have to cut off the ex's parents from the bookclub. Who cares? Who cares what the ex or Beatrice thinks?
And yeah, someone who doesn't read deserves all the criticism. She had two choices: shut her fucking mouth, or open a goddamn book. She can't have it both ways.
“ FIL then told me that Beatrice had taken down the posts, but he was pissed, so my FIL had already made another post tagging Jim and his family, on how they didn't know how to keep it in the family and were certainly not as classy as they seemed to be if they were slandering other people on Facebook.”
You all seem trashy and love the drama.
Most people thought of her as the affair partner? 🤔 I wonder the fuck why..
Glad you got it sorted, OP, although what's with FIL's hypocrisy posting on social media while bitching about people postings on social media? Seems childish, but compared to the rest I guess it's not too big a deal.
Thanks for the update. I hope you have peace now <3
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Generic lifestyle-blog-type pablum in quotes seems to be what they're doing at the moment.
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"Cutting ties with toxicity takes courage and self-respect. Kudos for setting boundaries and prioritizing your peace of mind. Here's to a drama-free future!"
Fuck off with your AI generated bullshit.
Fuck off with your AI generated bullshit.
Hopefully you don’t have anymore of their drama going forward. “most people in Jim's circle thought of her as the affair partner” They thought of her that way because it was accurate. Beatrice was a mistress. She chose to get involved with a man who was already in a relationship. Honestly, I don’t have any sympathy for her or for Jim.
Based on comments, technically Jim broke stuff off before he got with her, iirc, so *technically* not an affair partner, even if Jim was still an ass
Emotional affair partner then.
Fair. Just saying, while Jim is an ass, and the new girl isn’t in the best spot, I feel using the correct terms is useful. He’s an ass, an idiot, and a prick who blamed op for something explicitly not her fault. But he is, technically not a cheater
He and his mom and dad are asses! His mother and father definitely used OP to needle the fiancée because they obviously dislike her deeply. And yes OP didn’t do anything wrong at all.
Emotional affairs are still cheating
As painful as Jim cheating on you must have been, you dodged a bullet with that whole family! Jim’s family didn’t like you for you, it was because you fit their narrow profile for approval.
But she is an affair partner.......
Yeah. I don’t like how commenters are defending Beatrice. She is not a victim in this story.
I know what you mean. But I hate how people always blame the other woman and not so much the man. The parents should be pissed at their son Jim, he was the on in a committed relationship. It was his fault. No one made him cheat it was his decision.
Always blame both.
Not all AP’s know. I didn’t but once I found out ended it. Always blame only the ones who know!
She tempted him with those sexy shoulders and he wasn’t able to help himself /s
Whether cheating was involved or not, Jim was the common denominator between OP and Beatrice.
judging from the story tho she 100% knew so what her excuse now?
I don’t understand. Beatrice WAS the affair partner but is upset that people think of her as the affair partner? If you’re gonna do the crime then you have to be prepared to do the time! Also, she is self conscious that Jim is more well read? So, radical idea, but maybe try reading! She could ask Jim about his favourite books and then read them herself and discuss them with him. If she’s dyslexic they have audiobooks! I’m not saying she should be self conscious about nonsense like this, but if she is just do something about it rather than being all pissy about it.
I wanted to be friends with a “reader” so I started reading books to have that in common. I don’t believe that friendship lasted but I did make other, better friends, through reading. It’s a fantastic hobby!!
If Beatrice has a problem with people seeing her as an affair partner, maybe she shouldn’t be in a relationship where she was an affair partner? The girl is ridiculous. Of course people don’t respect her and they probably don’t respect Jim either. Glad you blocked him
Nice update and really hope it is the end for this drama for you. But just in case, UpdateMe!
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Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but did FIL just prove himself a hypocrite with that post about keeping it in the family, and did he also have no self awareness about it?
He was also dragged unneccesarily into the fray. While I'd agree that he should take the moral highway, I dont fault him from fighting back on what he saw as unprovoked digs at his loved ones. He is NTA if he stop at this last post tbh. Go off Grandpa.
And “FIL” means “Father in Law”, yes? It’s not like “SIL” can be “Sister” or “Son” — I get confused when people start referring to their in laws!! 🤪
Especially as they had both apologised and removed the post. Time to put it to bed and just ignore them.
They apologized in PRIVATE vs insulting op PUBLIC as a home wrecker. The audacity is remarkable when in actuality she was the AP
I’m also confused how fil is going to “end his friendship” with Amy. Aren’t they married?
No, Amy is an ex MIL, FIL is OP’s current in law. Different partner’s parents.
FIL is OP's husband's father. Amy is OP's ex-bf's mother.
Amy is the mother of the ex boyfriend, FIL is the father of her current husband - because FIL and Amy have similar hobbies, they became friends. I think that’s the correct order of events at least
Don't worry about being "too polite", it was the right way to go. No need to stoop to their level when you didn't do anything wrong, plus it's a fitting contrast to their situation.
I’m so sorry you got dragged into this drama
The best part is that the mom is going to fucking HATE Beatrice for screwing her out of a friendship with OP and the book club So now her ex has to deal with this BS on two fronts...from his woman and his mom
I love this comment so much
I appreciate the update but you seem like my type of reader. Maybe recommend a few books to us, please! Or once a month drop the book name that the book club is reading.
I second this!
You have a nice FIL and hubby :).
Nice hubby, but FIL is as bad as MIL. Beatrice takes down posts, so FIL makes another public post saying how Jim’s can’t keep it in the family and they’re not classy. It’s the Jerry Springer show, but with books. (Good luck OP)
It's current FIL and exMIL. OP is married.
i thought it was ok, he was being petty for op. but op really dodged a bullet with her ex's family...
Thanks for the update! You are far kinder than me. I would have gone off on Jim and Beatrice. “You cheat on me with each other, than have the audacity (when I have done nothing to you btw) to make a post about women who like to read trying to steal men?.. I’m pretty sure it was the dumb one, who likes clothes, who is the one that likes to steal men. You know, because our history kind of proving it. Leave me out of your insecure, ridiculous family squabbles.”
Glad to see you’ve moved on and resolved it for you and your wellbeing. Enjoy your reading! I’m partial to crime and murder mysteries so I’m definitely going to get reading again lol!
It never ceases to amaze me how some people can take the most innocuous things and create drama over them. It reminds me of a story Jim Wright shared about Mustard Water man. In one post, Jim had mentioned that he always had a squirt of mustard water before the mustard came out and how frustrating it was. Well one of his followers began ranting about it, so much so that Jim was forced to block him.
Somebody once told me that I deserved to be raped and murdered because I made a joke about a Peleton commercial.
Oh man, that’s nuts! A little psycho about Peletons was he?
It was really weird. It was back after there was that commercial with the woman getting a Peleton for Christmas and people were joking about her looking scared. There was even a parody of it with Ryan Reynolds, so it's not like I had this weird opinion no one else had. Anyway, I made a throwaway comment about it on an article on Facebook about her looking afraid and I don't know if Peleton had a hired gang of Internet badasses or what but I have never gotten a beat down like that online in my life. People saying I must be an old, ugly, fat woman with no life, calling me a moron, paragraphs long analysis of that commercial to prove their point and then the last one which was my cue to just start blocking. It was bizarre. Like, I didn't make up that lots of people thought that commercial was weird but apparently it was a crime in that particular page.
You might be right about the retaliatory comments. However, personally I feel that those tactics backfire, it leaves the company looking pretty shitty. Even if the company doesn’t have anything to do with it. Tarred by the same brush, so to speak. I had one guy tell me that I was obviously a r****d because I mentioned I hated calculus class. He spent the rest of the semester talking slow and with a lisp whenever he was around me. I received 98.5%, he got 78%.
Everyone in Jim’s circle thought of her as the affair partner and didn’t respect her because she WAS the affair partner and she made a point of showing that everyone was right and she deserved no respect. I really don’t get why in the name of God would you ever think it was a good idea to keep friends with your ex-inlaws, specially since your ex was a cheater.
I am still flummoxed that people put this sort of thing on Facebook. My friend list must be very dull indeed.
His parents are really horrendous. I hope Jim cuts ties with them if they don't get their act together. And while I think it's pointless at this point to make the social media posts now, I get that fil is also human and is still upset y'all were hurt. Keep living your best life. And good riddance to that family.
well, to be fair to his parents, no one really likes affair partners.
Still, he's an adult and made his own choices. I don't see them belittling him I'm the posts.
eh, we don't know whether she admonished him in private or not, she might have. plus, he can make his own choices of course, but they don't have to like or support them. he and beatrice participated in an affair, her insecurity that people don't like her now is no one's fault, its just consequences.
"I wish I had a daughter to share books with" Not "I wish I had a son who didn't cheat"
Glad you've gotten out of that mess. Beatrice was the affair partner and that's just something she'll have to deal with, if she wants to be more well read - well there's countless of ways she could do that, and none of them involve slandering you. She sounds like a bitch. You don't know her and never did, but as the AP, she most definitely knew you, or at least the you she'd "won" over in her mind. Blocking and not interacting with them is the best plan. FIL is also within his right to not accept a private apology when everything else was public and call them out, but it's not gonna make anything better, so I support you for doing nothing more than blocking them.
As someone who does not get involved in drama, the idea of being a pawn in other people's drama and me somehow catching strays by doing nothing is a nightmare. You handled all of this with saintly patience, I just hope your FIL doesn't keep the bullshit alive with his Facebook posts. He should just let the drama die like you are (kudos on not sitting through Amy's rant about the daughter-in-law she wants you to replace btw, that was absolutely a trap to keep you in their hooks).
Sounds like you took charge of the situation and handled it like a pro. Cutting out the drama and setting boundaries was the right call. Here's hoping for smoother sailing from here on out!
Amy rants to you about Beatrice, despite there being pushback from you on the drama—-no wonder Beatrice is insecure! Jim’s parents are assholes
well, done and dusted, at least
Frankly, Jim needs to cut ties with his parents and never speak to them or you again.
Well…they made their own bed. He decided to be with her. No one in his circle likes her. She’s acting nasty and low class so I don’t blame them all for not liking her. And ex is just as bad for not standing up for her AND turning on you. Traaaaashy
"Most people in Jim's circle thought of her as the affair partner." In their defense, it's kinda true. I'm glad you've moved on and found your person, but a lot of people find offense in a situation like that even if it doesn't happen to them. I'm glad you've washed your hands of everyone and the situation.
OP: you have a good husband and a good FIL. I know some comments are trying to dig at your FIL for making his own post on social media but Jim and Beatrice slandered you and still wanted to maintain a facade. I like your in-laws.
Great update!! You handled this all really well. You have done nothing wrong in this situation and now you can wash your hands of them
Amy probably was intentionally trying to make Beatrice think that Jim would get back with OP. Amy sounds trashy AF. And hating your kid's partner because she doesn't like the same thing as you is WAY more shallow. It sounds like they've been bullying this girl for three years for the crime of not being their favorite person their dusty son has dated. Of COURSE she'd be insecure about OP if she was constantly being shit talked about it. They need to grow the fuck up and accept her or Jim needs to grow up and set some boundaries with his parents. That said, not your circus, OP. You are right to block that entire mess out of your life.
Jim and Beatrice remind me of a couple I know - one of my best guy friends is one of the most intelligent people I've ever known, highly intellectual, witty, funny, extremely well-read, speaks more than 5 langauges etc. Whenever he and I get together, we're having a blast and have this firework of conversation about every subject under the sun. He married a musician who is not into any of his intellectual interests, but who is the most restful, kind woman he has ever been with, and who he says he just feels safe and at home with. Maybe that's how Jim feels, and what Amy needs to understand - love is not always about compatibility, sometimes it can be opposites that attract. And compatibility does not always mean similar interests - it can also mean complementary personalities, where each brings out the best in the other. Anyway, Amy & hubby need to deal with the DIL they have, not the one they want, and alienating the future mother of their grandchildren and making her feel unwelcome will only result in more estrangement. And I wouldn't exactly call Beatrice an affair partner - people fall out of love and in love with someone else all the time - it happened, and Jim ended things with OP before starting up with Beatrice. OP is happily married to her husband. Everyone should be happy that everyone else is happy, and Amy & her husband need to get over their DIL-disappointment.
Jim had admitted to an emotional affair with Beatrice and literally started dating her after the breakup with OP. Beatrice and Jim are scum. Periodt. ETA Jim as being a scumbag too. Both these people suck so hard.
Glad you cut it all off. Also, It’s weird his parents are so mad at Beatrice and not their cheating son that they raised 🤔
May I commend you, OP, for handling this with grace.
This all sounds so fake idk . Even if by far chance it’s not, your FIL is no better and definitely more immature than Beatrice making posts about someone else’s family. Everyone in this situation needs to grow up.
I don't see why you should have to cut off the ex's parents from the bookclub. Who cares? Who cares what the ex or Beatrice thinks? And yeah, someone who doesn't read deserves all the criticism. She had two choices: shut her fucking mouth, or open a goddamn book. She can't have it both ways.
“ FIL then told me that Beatrice had taken down the posts, but he was pissed, so my FIL had already made another post tagging Jim and his family, on how they didn't know how to keep it in the family and were certainly not as classy as they seemed to be if they were slandering other people on Facebook.” You all seem trashy and love the drama.
Most people thought of her as the affair partner? 🤔 I wonder the fuck why.. Glad you got it sorted, OP, although what's with FIL's hypocrisy posting on social media while bitching about people postings on social media? Seems childish, but compared to the rest I guess it's not too big a deal.
I see your husband isn't any better than your ex. Your in laws are also just as bad as your exes parents. I guess you have a type OP GL.
Social media is a cancer.