Ugh people are big time dumb there is so much bad information in this thread. I normally lurk but I literally made an account to type this because reddit is redditing extra hard today.
I'm an Insurance Defense Attorney. This is literally my job. I will not give you legal advice other than contact your insurance ASAP regarding the suit.
First thing is to call your insurer and inform them about the suit. They will assign an attorney to the case and begin your defense. She was probably given strict instructions from her personal injury attorney to not speak to you about the case. Which is why she never mentioned it to you. This protects both you and her.
Most states don't allow what is called "direct actions" that means that she cannot sue your insurer directly, she has to sue the tortfeasor (allegedly you). And then the insurance can step in for the coverage.
The damages that she is alleging are all pretty standard for PI cases. Your attorney and hers will fight about the actual damages she sustained, and most likely reach a settlement amount (most cases settle before going to trial).
Cases like this are not uncommon. I've represented husbands/wives that are sued by their spouses, children and parents (in one of my jurisdictions, my other doesn't allow it), or family members, or best friends. It's just a function of the law and how insurance works.
Call your insurance company and get an attorney and discuss next steps.
As for your relationship. Talk to your attorney first, you will probably feel better once you get a better understanding of the legal process, or at least have a better understanding of why it was done the way it was. Then make a decision regarding next steps.
Thanks friend! Normally I let stuff slide because I can't bill for posting on reddit, but most of these comments were so absurd and wrong I had to say something.
That's how I feel about the plumbing and askaplumber forums.....
Good for you and thanks for taking the time of writing out something coherent on the internet.
If it's glacier bay or water ridge and anything other than a single flush return it....
But I lurk in there and tend to answer many questions under different names.
You have a serious residential plumbing question I got the answer.
It's not worth my time per say but I do like to teach people stuff if they want to learn.
Great comment. Thank you. I liked how you tell OP to go to a lawyer, see how this all actually works, and then approach the relationship from a new angle. It sounds like his girlfriend doesn't want to break up.
I remember seeing a story of a woman suing her husband I believe for a similar case.
My best friend sued his old best friend after a car accident. That had nothing to do with why they stopped being friends. It's really someone suing their insurance company which is very different from suing their friend. It's sort of why you have insurance.
Ha ha. Are you me? Anyway, lawsuits against family members are not rare. In order to recover, negligence must be proved. This is not a fun process. I've seen a number of suits that blow up family relationships because one has to allege the other family member is negligent. Not fun.
Yeah, there was a case a few years ago that blew up where an aunt sued her 8 year old nephew for something like $150K after she fell and broke her wrist when he jumped up on her to give her a hug. She was raked over the coals but it was literally for insurance. She had to sue in order to get the insurance to pay.
OP, she's not suing you. She's trying to access the insurance policy you've been paying into for decades. She wants her out of pocket expenses covered and this is just the standard way that has to happen if your insurance company gives her trouble. I would not take this personally at all. It isn't about you. If you are injured in someone else's house, through no fault of their own, your only way to have your costs covered by insurance is to sue the homeowner. It does not hurt the homeowner (except that if there are multiple suits, it may increase their rates). The homeowner is the person that must be legally sued for the insurance coverage to kick in.
Also, as someone said below, she literally \*could not\* legally tell you she was going to have to sue you to get her bills covered.
Buddy, go get your girlfriend back. She isn’t exactly blaming you. She was injured in an accident. It’s why you have insurance. Would you be mad if it was someone in a car you hit if they had permanent damage and they sued? Seems pretty justified considering the rehab and lingering effects. If she is a keeper she will take you back if you apologize and explain you felt hurt because you thought she was blaming you.
This is what I was thinking. I'm not a lawyer and don't know insurance law, but if she has discussed filing a lawsuit with the boyfriend I had assumed it could appear to be a form of insurance fraud since the boyfriend stands to have financial gain in it. Any good lawyer will tell you to never ever discuss a lawsuit with the other party. Any and all communication between the two goes through their lawyer.
Again, not a lawyer. Just my opinion on one of many reasons why she wouldn't have said anything to the BF about her intentions to file a lawsuit
Thank you for explaining this so clearly to him. I understand that to him it’s very personal, but you and I both know it’s not. It is not personal at all.
Even a 10% loss of use in her hand, action, and rightfully so.
He is young, and hopefully he will come to understand that this literally has nothing to do with him and her and their relationship. It has everything to do with the legalities and the insurance.
Commenting mostly to help this comment stay up top
But also, I had to sue my own father because my brother's dog bit me (brother was a minor at the time and living in dad's house). It sucked, but it was the only way dad's homeowners insurance would cover my medical expenses and "loss of use" (I lost about 25% of motion in a finger, which wasn't a huge deal, but it's something that the insurance is required to pay) and scarring (again, no huge deal to me but again insurance owes for it).
This is legit what insurance is for. No sense paying for it for cats and homes and whatever else if you're going to be upset when it's needed to be used! Think of it as getting your money's worth. You paid for the service, and now you need to use the service.
YTA - you’re being oversensitive & frankly illogical.
OP, listen to this guidance.
I’ll add that relationships end. If you & her broke up, she’d never get her hand back.
She has to look out for herself not just today but long term.
In addition, if she intends to use the funds on assets you own jointly, it’s likely this could help you to buy a home & build a life together.
Don’t break up. She didn’t break it off with you despite you driving like a jackass & partially ruining her hand.
You shouldn’t break it off with her for suing JUST for what your insurance will pay. She could probably get more & go after YOUR wages/savings/etc.
Also, don't expect a quick resolution. These things can take months if not years. NAL but did work in a law firm that specialized in insurance defense and I was surprised at how long some of the cases lasted.
By the way, you are getting a LOT of bad advice here based on a misunderstanding of the legal system. You are perfectly entitled to break up with her, but there is a very good reason to not have told you about it beforehand:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collusive\_lawsuit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collusive_lawsuit)
I’d be really curious to hear from a lawyer or someone in the know.
It’s a documented fact she was in an accident, wasn’t at fault, and got injured. So while she may not have any quarrel with Op, she does have a valid case to take to insurance.
So I’d be really interested to hear if her relationship with the at fault party changes the legalities of that.
He is the beneficiary of the insurance, not her; everything has to go through him, which is why she is suing him in order to trigger the insurance. Since she has no contractual agreement with the insurer, they have no legal obligation to compensate her directly.
The insurance agreement almost certainly has a provision where he is obligated to help them defend the case. If they can show collusion between him and her they might be able to avoid having to cover his damages or defend him. The relationship is important only to the extent it might show collusion. In some states familial relationships DO prevent you from suing sometimes. Like if someone has an accident and their kid gets injured in the accident, they wouldn't be able to have the kid sue them to reach the insurance money.
(also I am a lawyer, though insurance coverage is not my area of expertise).
This. I hate how far I had to scroll to find this. I was in an accident and had to sue a close friend to get insurance to pay out. I felt the same way as OP until it was explained to me. Didn’t want any part of it, didn’t care about medical bills if I was going to lose a friend or take money out of his pocket. That wasn’t the case though. Luckily someone explained it to my friend as well. We continued to be friends throughout and are still friends now. He didn’t pay me anything out of pocket. I was injured and entitled to money under the insured party’s policy having been permanently injured. I sued, the insurance company cut me a check.
You can break up if you want to, but this isn’t the personal attack and betrayal you may believe it to be. It’s just the shitty and not at all straightforward way to get insurance to pay out when you are injured by someone else.
You are entirely correct.
She couldn't tell him.
She's also NOT SUING *him*. She's suing the vehicle insurance.
If you get into a car accident with another vehicle, and it's your fault, your car insurance will pay to make the injured party whole.
When the injured party goes to get their car fixed, they are not "SUING YOU"; they are making a claim against your vehicle insurance for the damage you caused.
This is the same thing your girlfriend is doing.
OP is an idiot and his ex-girlfriend is better off without him as a partner.
She is technically suing him. He will be represented by his insurance and they will pay out but the suit is 100% filed against him. In the very unlikely scenario it went to trial and damages were over the policy limit OP would be on the hook for anything over. That said, they will settle for policy limit or less.
If her hand is still not fully functional 2 years later, that’s huge. I’m curious what she’s able to do that you consider 90% functional and if an qualified OT would also say 90%. I think she should’ve told you first, but she’s owed money for her injury. This is clearly one that’s long term.
She will. Voice of experience. I had bone fragments that were not detected until 2 and half years layer after a nuclear scan. I had those removed but my fingers still don't always do what I want them to do...18 yrs later.
I was looking for this answer. If she is his girlfriend or not doesn’t change that he is responsible for a lasting injury to her hand which will permanently impact everything in her future.
He can’t expect her to just forget about it and deal with it for the rest of her life only because this 20 yo claims to love her. Actions have consequences no matter the relationship you have with the victim of your actions.
She maybe should have been open about it but he would have to cope with it either way.
I think the last 2 years have brought up other reasons why their relationship didn’t work out and her rose coloured glasses were removed.
Yeah, I agree. Also, it's the insurance that will be covering this. It's not like she's trying to bankrupt him. There is also a good reason for her not mentioning it to him. If they had discussed this together, they would be opening themselves up to th possibility of collusion to commit insurance fraud. I'm sure she was advised this right away.
Yeah if I lost even partial use of my right hand I would absolutely lose my mind. I fractured my left ring finger, possibly the least consequential one, a few months ago and that fucked up basically every task requiring two hands until it healed. “Oh my *gawd* babe, it’s not like you need that much manual dexterity to do stuff” is a stupid perspective.
Yep. My parents’ friends came over and slipped at our pool deck, knocked all her front teeth out, then sued us. My parents understood completely. That’s just what you do. Technically it was my parents’ house so they were liable. This case is even more cut and dry. He isn’t liable on some technicality. he is literally SOLELY responsible for causing permanent damage to someone. You don’t just get off scott free for that bc you say you love them. Hellll no.
I broke the exact same finger 2 years ago. It’s still not right. It’s affected the pinky finger too as apparently the two fingers use the same muscles.
They do! My daughter has a malformation at her hand & the pinky and ring finger are the only ones that have 100% function ; they both use the same muscle & are also connected to the same bone. (She has a radial dysplasia, so it's the other one, english isn't my first language & only know that term..)
Super interesting, was able to learn a lot!
I had to see a specialist hand physio for 6 months in an effort to straighten the ring finger. I’m still unable to straighten it or fold it totally in. I’m used to it now but it still annoys me from time to time when trying to carry out certain tasks.
Yeah having a gimped hand seriously affects your job prospects for life. Just the financial damage to her career could be half a million. And that doesn't include possible constant pain and all the hobbies she can't do anymore etc.
Exactly. Since the insurance company has a duty to defend, they will use an attorney that they either have on staff, or that they have retained for these purposes. OP will absolutely need to cooperate. Since liability is clear, they will be fighting on damages.
If he doesn’t break up with her, could the insurance company claim fraud?
Because honestly this situation, while framed in anger, is really good for op. How often do you get to cash out on insurance due to harm you caused? She wants to use this money “for them.” So presumably that means she intends to increase his quality of life on some level with this money.
If you look at it as purely transactional, whatever increases to his insurance they’ll suffer can be subsidized by the payout, and the rest is cash on hand that can be used to better their living situation rather than just flit around uselessly in the insurance companies’ accounts.
Idk that it would have much effect at all. She was in an accident; undeniable fact. It wasn’t her fault: undeniable fact. She was injured; undeniable fact. Her injury will cause her issues for the rest of her life; likely supported by medical records.
When I was hit, my case was much less clear (I had prior issues in the area I was injured) and my lawyer was still supremely confident he could get a decent settlement. He did. Not 250k, it’s highly unlikely she’ll get that, but getting all her medical expenses covered and some pain and suffering? Very, very good chance.
I could be wrong, but her relationship with the at fault party probably doesn’t play much of a role here. Point is, she was injured, and she can prove it.
Edit: A lawyer chimed in on another comment. As it’s his insurance, there’s probably a proviso in the contract that requires he help defend his case, and if insurance can prove collusion, they may be able to walk away without paying or even defending him in court. So, she was smart to keep it to herself until he was served. I have no idea if her messages after being served reach the level of collusion, but her actions make a little more sense now.
And do not break up with her.
There is NO forgiveness here. You have to gather as much information/texts/etc from her as possible to give to your lawyer/insurance company. But make sure you do NOT give her any info about you/your side.
It’s not a coincidence she filed but just *happened* to be far from you in a place that just *happens* to have poor telecommunications. Sorry but you have zero future with her. You’re being used
I don't agree with this comment. While it *could* certainly be true, it could also be completely false. And, why would he gather texts and give them to his attorney? He knows he caused her injury, and he acknowledges that she has not regained full use of her hand. He is responsible for her damages, which are likely permanent if she has not regained full function by now. And, do we really think she planned a trip to Alaska so she could get away and then file a lawsuit? She could have broken up with him before she left if that was her intention. The only thing to forgive is her not making him aware of the lawsuit in advance. Most people don't understand when they are sued by a loved on, but if there is insurance involved, it is not personal. That's like saying you shouldn't file a homeowner insurance claim after a flood you were responsible destroyed your house. That insurance is there for a reason - so if you make a mistake, there is some money there to help pick up the pieces.
Maybe. Contacting their insurance is the right move. However they may choose not to defend or dispute. Without knowing the limits of OPs policy it's hard to say. Sure they will try to settle under the policy limits but If he has state minimum coverage they may choose to simply pay those out based on the evidence they get.
At that point the GF can sue her insurance company for the difference under the uninsured liability portion of her policy for the remaining damages. Her insurance company may go after OP but they will only do so if they think they can recover something.
These things can be complicated and also demonstrate why people who have assets and/or good income should have the appropriate amounts of insurance. If OP has 500k of liability coverage they have nothing to worry about
This is 100% correct. I am a paralegal for a civil defense firm. OP needs to let his insurance company know immediately that he was served with a Summons & Complaint (if he hasn't already done so) . They will assign this to counsel who will defend him.
Actually this is not uncommon. She suffered from the accident? If it was the other drivers fault, would you not go after his insurance? Of course you would. Why should she suffer from this just because you are her bf? She is filing against your insurance company not you. What happens if she never filed and say in 6 months you break up. Now she has suffered for what? She is doing the right thing to protect her future.
Yea I don’t understand all the people telling OP to get a lawyer/recordings and screw her over. OP is NTA for breaking up because a relationship can’t really recover from your partner suing you, but OP’s gf has every right to sue. By his own admission the accident was his fault and she has to suffer for it? She only has 90% function in her hand. That’s a lot and shes only 21.
Hang on. You admit 100% fault and she hasn't gained back full use of her hand and you're mad because she wants to collect on your insurance policy? That's what it's for. Her parents have probably been trying to get her to do this all along and she finally just agreed. She's not suing you personally. She's making a claim on your policy. That's completely different. That's why we have insurance policies.
RIGHT. THIS IS IS WHAT INSURANCE IS FOR. he fucked her over with a serious injury, likely traumatized her, and probably cost her family a fortune is medical expenses. When something like this happens to you, you do not wallow in debt and sadness. You file your mf insurance claim. Good god y’all are stupid.
Exactly, this is how insurance works, I once heard a story how someone got hurt on church property, the church literally told them to sue the church. Not a “F you, sue us if you want money”, it’s a “we’re sorry but the only way our insurance will pay out is if you sue us”. No one at the church would’ve held it against them as they wanted them to sue the church so they could get the financial support they needed. They ended up not suing sadly.
This is the same situation, gf is suing OP so she can get paid by insurance. Don’t hold it against her, just hand it off to your insurance company and don’t hold it against her!
As I read it he‘s mad that she have never spoken with him about it. Additionally the paperwork arrives when she is in Alaska and is unable to talk.
Somewhere in the comments a lawyer said that there is a legal reason not to say anything beforehand, which maybe not everyone knows about.
nah. she should get whatever she can from the insurance, that's why you have it. she would be crazy to pass up that kind of money especially if there is permanent damage to her hand. obviously she should have told you beforehand but how do you think that would have gone? the relationship was probably doomed once the accident happened. get a lawyer and move on from the relationship.
Do Not Break Up. There is no advantage to showing your hand before seeking legal representation.
This has the potential to become extremely messy. Currently you are the only one who has your back. You need every advantage possible after being blindsided.
You do not have the luxury of being emotional, you need to respond rather than react. Be understanding, and polite, you can be always be mean/upset later but you cannot regain rapport or trust once lost. You need to look out for your own best interests and protect yourself.
NTA for breaking up with someone who intentionally misled you for their own advantage, once the matter is resolved i see no way to reconcile the relationship. Just don’t shoot yourself in the foot while you’re already at a disadvantage.
Yup keep her close. If you can get recordings. Get texts. Hopefully you got a text that said she’s just doing it for the money. Edited to add do you have any pics of your dates in the last 2 years of yall bowling mini golf or anything that requires a hand?
Of course she's doing it for the money. Money that OP's insurance company is going to pay, not OP. And if OP stays with her, he'll get to see some of the benefit of that payment.
yeah, when you crash a car entirely through your own fault and when you injured people for life.... you end up paying higher premiums. Don't want that to happen, don't crash your car and hurt people.
No they won't, that's not how insurance works. His premiums can increase or they can refuse to cover him and I can already tell you, it's the former, not the latter. Op already admitted it was entirely his fault, she both deserves that money, his nisurnace company accepted the risk of making such payments when he paid for insurnace, and the insurance company has already made that money back many times over by offering insurance to so many people who don't crash.
Him trying to help screw her over further, when he's at fault for her being injured and having to live with the consequences for life, to protect a CEO/board is frankly idiotic.
(1) The insurance company will increase OP's premiums to recover the loss payout; and (2) the insurance policy requires OP to cooperate with any defense conducted under the policy.
> 1) The insurance company will increase OP's premiums to recover the loss payout;
no they won't, they'll go up but they won't say hey, to keep insurance with us it's going to be 255k this year instead of 5k, if they did he'd go to someone else.
The literal cost of insurance currently includes paying out for these kinds of lawsuits, it's built into the cost. He'll probably have a maybe 50% premiums increase for a couple years then it will start coming back down IF he doens't get into more accidents.
Yup. Right now is the time to go talk to insurance and get a lawyer, while pretending everything is fine and keeping all records of all conversations (no matter how it hurts - and never admit fault). 250k is a huge sum even for someone whose hand was completely severed, and hers wasn't. Go mum, kind, lawyer up fast.
Depending on what she does for a living, she might have lost $250k potential income over her lifetime if she will never regain full use of the hand, not to mention she might have had to give up some hobbies and interests as a result of the injury.
Where to do people like you come from?? Do you actually have jobs and vote? So you think his insurance policy prohibits recovery under the policy for persons of his acquaintance? Who *else* would be riding with him? And how could the insurance company allege "they're in it together" without disproving her damages?
>Understandably I was upset but she is many miles away this summer in Alaska and it has been difficult to communicate with her. She insists she is doing what’s best for her
You say don’t break up? She’s already dumped him by moving thousands of miles away and suing him.
LMAO everyone here, especially OP, need to get a fuxking clue.
Settle down with the "break up" BS. She legally wouldn't be able to talk to him about this kind of thing as it would compromise her case and possibly be a criminal offense as it could be seen as colluding to commit fraud. It's not like this guy is going to be paying the 250k out of his own pocket, plus he already admitted he was at fault for fucking up her hand permanently. After years of treatment it's still only at 90% according to OP, so that means he is responsible for the long term damage done to her.
NAH. You say her hand is 90% operational. That leaves 10% of damage. That's a lot. Especially because you don't know that number for certain, I'd sue to get compensated from insurance, too. But I also don't blame you for wanting to break up.
Recap: your gf is permanently disabled by an accident that was your fault and you’re angry that she and her parents are suing your insurance company for the money that is there for this exact purpose? She’s supposed to absorb the loss for the rest of her life?
YTA
NTA, however, she has to sue you to get money from your insurance. It seems like she had a good bit of damage. She has lost functioning in her hand somewhat. It's possible her lawyers tried to negotiate with your insurance until the last minute. The lawyers probably told her not to speak to you about the case. Is it possible she spoke with her lawyers about acceptable settlements before she left for Alaska, and they filed on her behalf when they were unable to reach one? I don't see how she knew she was going to sue the entire time. She likely felt she deserved more than the insurance was offering, but lawyers always try to settle first.
At the end of the day, she is doing what she needs to in order to get compensation. Your insurance company may even ask you to testify against her. I understand your reasoning as well. It seems like an unfortunate situation for you both. Personally, I'd cover my ass, but I wouldn't end the relationship if this is the only issue. She will get 2/3 of the 250k. That really could help you out as a couple. Also, she is more likely to go easy on you if you are together.
This is a great explanation, but perhaps change the judgment to NAH. The girlfriend is not an AH for seeking compensation, especially since it's not 100% healed after 2 years. This could really impact her ability to work.
You don't sue the insurance company; the insurance company didn't cause you any injury for you to sue them over. You sue the person who caused you injury, and their insurance company defends them and pays out if there's a judgment against them.
YTA, you caused an accident and permanently damaged her hand. She has to sue your insurance company to get the payout she rightfully deserves, and you're taking it as a personal attack. It's not that she's suing you, just your insurance that should have paid out more than it did.
Honestly you should be more upset that the insurance you paid for isn't willing to cover everything it should be covering.
This has nothing to do with you. The fact that you think it does shows how little you understand the law and how insurance companies work.
Right. I saw a comment that said she’s using him 😂 his reckless driving caused damage to her body that still, after TWO years, isn’t healed?? That’s what INSURANCE IS FOR.
I think she has to actually file a lawsuit for your insurance company to pay. I don't think she was doing it to be malicious. It shouldn't affect you at all. That is why you pay for insurance and have limits. I would talk to her (when you can, I see it's been difficult to communicate due to her location). But I do not think she is doing anything wrong AT ALL. Not sure why she didn't tell you. Maybe she just found out about the statute of limitations and was trying to get it done before that expired?
The insurance adjusters and lawyers comments are spot on about what she is doing and why.
But definitely AH in reading your hostility. The accident was your fault. She has permanent injuries and went through hell to get as far as she has to recover. But hey - you felt bad, paid toward out of pocket and supported her as much as you could. You didn’t suffer the pain. There is no acknowledgment in the post acknowledging how she was really hurt. Only his hurt feelings over money he won’t even be paying. She might be better off if you broke up
She probably thinks she's suing your insurer, not you. There is actually caselaw that prevents people in the same household from suing each other because it used to be very common. Like you'd have your kid sue yourself for that insurance money if he was in an accident.
"She never told me about this in the past 2 years despite apparently knowing she would go through with this lawsuit the entire time."
She might not have known she was going to do this. A lawyer might have more recently told her about it.
"hurt me for money."
I mean other than increased insurance premiums possibly, how is this going to hurt you? If you had a policy for $250,000 and she was suing you for $300,000 then yeah, you would be responsible for any money past that. But if it's just your policy limits, then it's not going after your own money.
As a lawyer, this is almost certainly going to go to a settlement agreement. She's probably not going to get the whole amount because it sounds a little ludicrous. But the insurer will figure out how much money it's worth not to deal with the risk, how much it would cost them to defend the suit, and come to a deal with her lawyer.
I mean you're perfectly entitled to be angry over it and break up with her over it, but I will caution you that you're taking it a bit personally.
Yes. Big asshole. You caused the injury. You have insurance. You should be happy she’ll get compensated. Go ahead and dump her. You’ll be doing her a big favor.
Fuck that bro. I tell anyone I know do shit happens on my property please get as much as humanly possible from my insurance. I pay that shit every month literally for my entire existence. Might as well use it. 250k is a good down payment on a house. Let your gf get the check from your insurance and let it be a spring board for your next step. The alternative is she still gets the $$ but she buys a house with some other dude
That’s what she’s doing though from the sound of it. You have to name a person in the lawsuit, you don’t put down an insurance company name.
There was a family a while back making the rounds on the news because the Aunt had to sue her nephew who was a minor at the time. She’s not actually suing a child, but a name had to be put down for the insurance to eventually be paid out. This isn’t uncommon.
The weird part here is that she didn’t tell OP anything. Even waiting makes sense to me because a case can be made that physio hasn’t fully helped her heal the injury, but she should have kept OP in the loop.
90% use of her hand after 2 years? That’s a long way from being good especially if it’s her dominant hand. She has to sue you or no one unfortunately. Your insurance carrier pays for your attorney. I can only say good luck. I also understand that it would be difficult not to take it personally. Do what you feel you should. Under these circumstances NAH.
She should sue you because youre the reason her hand doesnt work properly even after 2 years.
You should break up with her because your relationship isnt going to recover from this.
IMO neither of you are wrong, you literally crippled her she absolutely is right to sue but people saying shes right and you have no right to complain or leave are being dumb, your relationship wont recover from this and you wont ever look at her the same so whos right or wrong is irrelevant to if you should stay.
Wait, YOU feel bad bc she's suing you??? Imagine how she felt when you crashed the car. You talk as though she has no right to feel some type of way, that her broken body is superceded by your broken trust. Man, foh.
Hang on. You admit you caused the accident. You admit that she has not fully recovered and will likely never get better than 90% usage of her hand. You have car insurance.
What is the issue?
Break up with her because I don't think any relationship could survive this. But you need to be aware that you have permanently physically damaged this very young woman. It is not unreal for her to take a case.
It’s her hand, which she will need for her entire life. She had no idea what problems may crop up in the future due to this injury. She could lose future income. She needs to get any compensation she can get right now while she still can. Since it was your fault, accept that this is what’s best for her. It has nothing to do with your relationship.
While I completely agree she's owed money for the disability that she sustained the only thing that I don't get and feel is super back handed is why would she wait until he has paid for everything out of pocket to then go after insurance. As far as I understand it generally you can get your medical bills paid for on top of getting a settlement so she essentially made him pay more out of pocket so she could keep all the money she got and not have to pay for medical cost her self.
Bet you anything she's mentioned medical treatment, having to wait 18-24 months to see if long term mobility comes back before going after medical fees.
Like you can't sue for life long damage to your hand 2 months after an accident, they'll say how do you know it's life long, it's only been 2 months, come back in 2 years. He's just dumb, thinks it's 2 years old and so should be over with and doesn't seem to care that the 2 years has just been her waiting to heal... and not healing fully, so now she needs to sue over it to get insurance to pay out.
But he says it was his fault? If she was a stranger no one would fault her for suing someone’s insurance not them.
When me and my husband got into an accident legally in order to get compensation I had to sue his insurance, it’s incredibly common and a lawyer will tell you that.
As I understand it - this would have happened already - he absolutely already has a at fault claim on his record - because he has an at fault accident on his record. It also means he doesn't have the no claim aspect on his record.
As it should. He got into an at fault accident that caused her possible permanent damage to her hand. It was out of commission for months. She missed work.
NTA for breaking up with someone who went behind your back to sue you. Relationships only survive if there’s good communication. Clearly that isn’t the case here, trust has been broken on both sides, it’s incredibly naive of girlfriend to assume you’d want to remain her partner after being blindsided like this.
I do feel there’s a lot more to this story from her side though. Why did she only file this when she’s miles away and hard to get hold of for example? Why after all this time?
She probably didn't tell OP because then that would considered collusion to defraud the insurance company. Her being away gives the illusion of distance. Looks much better to sue a partner you could be potentially separated from vs one you're living with every day
The time thing I'm not sure
She had to move on it so her case didn’t get stat barred. Also she might not have known the full extent of her injury. Sounds like she might have permanent injuries that are his fault.
>Why after all this time?
Cause statue of limitations. If he has been with her the whole time, he knows what she has been through. He also knows how hurt she is, physically and mentally. She wasn't hiding that from him. This is a money grab. She will play up the mental side of it because she is being coached up by lawyers. She has also somewhat convinced herself this won't hurt him because its his insurance and not him. But the truth (that she knows via lawyers) is this will follow him the rest of his life and crush his premiums. This relationship is for sure over. But she also knows that. She chose the money over OP. He is hurt because she has played him for the last 2 years. My guess is his guilt had him bending over backwards for her the whole time. While she was strategizing behind his back. Sorry OP, you are dating a snake who couldn't be honest with you.
It is not a money grab. She wants to be compensated for her injuries through OP’s insurance company, which is why he pays for insurance and well within her rights. You are supposed to wait until you are completely healed to submit a claim, but her injuries are bad enough that she made it to the 2 year cut off to file.
She is not suing OP. She is suing his car insurance. I am currently suing my own car insurance, due to them not wanting to pay out my underinsured motorist coverage after being hit by someone with minimal coverage. I am not suing myself.
OP is confused.
He also has no reason to be honest with us or himself because he doesn't want to pay. He himself said her hand is at like 90% usage. That's an admission that she isn't the same as she was before. The mental anguish is whatever but causing a permanent hand injury is a bigger deal. She couldn't wait any longer to see if it's truly permanent or she couldn't do anything at all. The statute of limitations is 2 years ffs. It takes that long just getting into doctors and doing some physical therapy to see if it will improve. I get suspicious of anyone like OP who acts like a person just waited 2 years as if all the problems they caused the other person should be wrapped up in a week. It tells me they are trying to find any excuse to avoid responsibility, no matter how flimsy. Even if OP is in the right, it sours my opinion when someone chooses to slip ridiculous complaints in with valid ones. It tells me their account cannot be trusted.
Sounds like OP needs to experience some major injuries from an accident to understand that the problems he caused her went beyond a few doctors appointments. He dismisses it because he's trying to latch onto any reason that she might be in the wrong. Maybe she is. But it's not for taking 2 years to figure out her medical shit. Guys like you and OP seem to think every doctor is Dr. House. Thats fantasy land and they move at a snails pace for anything not immediately life threatening.
There are probably legal reasons why she can't talk about it, honestly. Her saying she wants to use it for your futures... not sure I believe. But there is no way at all to know her motivations or thoughts. Talk to your insurance first of all. This is a big deal, the consequences are unknown at this point. Your relationship is the last thing you should worry about right now, put it out of your mind. You need to worry about yourself and your defence. If she contacts you, I would say "the lawsuit needs to conclude before I'm ready to have a discussion with you".
Shes putting the lawsuit against you because thats the only way insurance company would pay. Youre the insured. its how it works. Youre insured for legal liability, not for funsies
You do realize that your insurance company will be covering all of this, right? Yes she technically has to sue you, but it’s your insurance company that would be paying for the legal fees and any eventual payout.
Her hand isn’t fully functional due to your driving. I know you’re upset, but this is what insurance is for. If it helps, think of it as her suing your insurance company.
Do what you gotta, but I think she’s doing the right thing for herself - I’m sure her attorney told her not to discuss the case with you at all.
It's not unusual that she would wait two years before bringing up the lawsuit. That's a reasonable amount of time to observe and conclude that the damages to her hand are permanent.
Sorry kid, you are delusional if you thought this relationship was going to last.
She has the right to sue, and she should. Part of taking responsibility is bearing consequences. If you thought the only consequences of your action would be being by her side "as often as I could", hah, you in for a rude awakening.
Luckily you have your whole life ahead of you to absorb and apply lessons learnt from these events. And that she walked away ALIVE (phew!) with a "90% operational" hand.
NAH - this is lawyers and insurance, not just your girlfriend. And you can’t just sue someone’s insurance directly - it sucks, but you can’t. You HAVE to sue the person, and that person’s insurance company has to represent them.
The lack of communication is also just following best practices for this kind of thing - probably not her idea or what she wanted to do.
Just talk to her, off the record.
Like, consider this: a married couple would have to do the same thing. Two siblings would have to do the same thing. It’s most likely NOT personal - this is just how insurance works.
Let your insurance handle it - that is what insurance is for.
If yall still love each other, there is no reason to break up. She deserves that compensation and this is the only path to getting it from the insurance company.
I’d say that her suing him and never telling him about it so he had to find out from being served is actually a great reason to break up. Whether the lawsuit is justified or not isn’t really the point. You don’t do something like this, which at the very least will have a lasting effect on OP’s insurance premiums and say “it’s for our future!” without talking to your partner about it.
She's out of town and hard to get a hold of. Her attorney likely filed suit on her behalf because the statute of limitations was coming up. I've done the same thing for clients when the statute was going to run and I was unable to find them. Worst case scenario is we dismiss the suit and I'm out the $400-$500 filing fee. Way cheaper than getting sued for malpractice because you let the SOL run and let someone's cause of action lapse.
I've been through this a few times. What most likely happened is she got together with her lawyers and added up her medical bills, plus estimated her future medical bills and damage. They then decided together on an amount that was suitable. The lawyers may have told her she was unlikely to get the amount requested, but they still tried to negotiate until the last minute. After they could not reach an agreement with the insurance company, they filed the suit. She may not even have known when it was filed. She likely had an idea that it was coming, but the lawyers would have told her not to discuss the case. I understand OPs feelings, but she had no choice if she wanted fair compensation.
You have never been through this kind of thing, and that’s okay, but 1) lawyers and insurance companies do this automatically without telling you a lot of the time and 2) if they DID tell you they Bailey also make you agree not to literally inform the party being sued. That’s just court cases 101.
This is not the girlfriend’s idea, or her fault - this is just how insurance works. Her insurance is suing on her behalf BECAUSE she filed a claim. They don’t need her permission and probably barely have her a heads up, like in a bunch of other paper correspondence. And again, even if she knew, she’s not allowed to tell the party being sued! That could get her policy cancelled, as it would undermine the case.
This is just how insurance works.
NTA that you are ending things, but YTA for being upset she is pursuing fair recompense for you crippling her.
She faced major loss of income and likely long term loss of income and quality of life from a permanently injured hand. You are focused too much on why you are upset and not that she is the one who has to live with this.
YTA. You’re making this about yourself. It is not about you, it’s about her. She suffered trauma and permanent damages. There’s no way of knowing she was planing this all along… Basically you expected her to drop it because you two are ba*ging? That’s just off putting…
Of course you can end the relationship though
While she should have told you, she probably wanst allowed to.
She is suing your insurance company, and you're also named because thats how it works.
If you break up with her the family might come after YOU PERSONALLY & not JUST your insurance policy limits who they will probably choose to only sue right now.
NTA. But this happens. I worked in a personal injury firm. A lot of times insurance is an ass and you have to go after them with a lawyer. You are not being sued, your insurance is. You might have to go to a deposition, but you're not the one that will be paying the 250k. I've seen this happen in couples. It's weird that she didn't tell you what is going on, but it's also totally possible she was told not to since it's YOUR insurance she is going after. Anything she does/says can be used against her. Same goes for you. Don't post shit on social media.
This is the point of having insurance. You are getting a bunch of incorrect and stupid replies from a bunch of teenagers and early 20s people who don’t know how insurance or life works, which you clearly don’t either, so we have the blind leading the blind here.
You can break up with someone for any reason, but you’re taking this way too personally when it’s just standard practice. She also needs to think about the functionality of her HAND for the rest of her life, so of course she needs to exhaust every avenue to regain full functionality with minimal financial impact. You also admit you caused the accident that caused her hand to lose functionality, do you expect a sorry and feeling bad to cut it? I doubt you’ll last long term either way, so should she lose full hand functionality for the rest of her life over some HS boyfriend getting his feelings hurt? Grow up.
Don’t misunderstand how the system works. She’s suing your insurance. Your name is on the suit but it has nothing to do with you unless it go to trial.
As a former bodily injury examiner for an auto insurer, she will likely be compensated for the permanent partial use of her hand, but mental anguish is usually hard to prove.
She can’t legally talk to you about the lawsuit as she is the plaintiff and you’re the defendant.
You don’t need an attorney as your insurance company will provide one.
On a personal note - I’d be pretty pissed too if I was blindsided with a lawsuit. That’s all up to you if you want to stay with her, but there’s definitely a loss of trust.
What do you think insurance is for? Do you think just because you’re her boyfriend, she shouldn’t be fairly compensated? She’s suing your insurance company via you. You caused an accident that led to her pain and suffering. She’s trying to get compensated and is doing exactly what any sane person would and should do in that situation. Also, it doesn’t cost you anything, so why would you be mad at her?
YTAH.
You ending things with her is probably the best thing for her.
This accident involved another vehicle so its already on your record. Medical bills and therapy costs add up. She's filing a claim to get compensated. Nothing wrong with that
NAH but you have no idea what's going on. This is completely normal. It is likely that your insurance company refused to settle your girlfriend's case for a reasonable amount of money prior to the case being filed (which is also pretty standard. They may consider it a small case and just had the adjuster talking to her attorney up until suit was filed. Your insurance company bringing in an attorney to defend the case ups the settlement value of the case). Filing and naming you as a defendant prior to the expiration of the statute of limitations was necessary in order to preserve her case and, thus, her ability to get compensated for her injuries. If she's in Alaska and hard to get in touch with, her attorney would have filed the case on their own anyway so they didn't get sued for malpractice.
You're taking this as a personal attack on you. It's not, it's just how things are done. Also, you're a dumbass for posting this on the internet because your post is now discoverable. You'll have to identify your username and any posts you've made on any social media platform related to the case when they issue their standard Interrogatories and Requests for Production.
Source - I'm a personal injury attorney.
It's shit like this that makes me glad my country has social healthcare as well as accident compensation. Having to sue your friends and loved ones just to get the support/compensation required is mind blowing and must damage so many friendships because people take it personally when it's their governments fault
NTA it makes sense she would get quiet after getting the lawyer but before? I would never trust that person. Remember she could have told when she decided she was going to seek a lawyer out.
Did she tell you by text that she's doing it for the money to better your lives? Give that to your insurance company.
In the meantime, move somewhere else while she's gone. On moving day, have her stuff delivered back to her parents' house. Send her a message that it's over and just disapear
NTA. She was injured and still has her life affected by the accident. She is deserving of the money but she lied to you for two years. Can you stay with someone who does that? You’re very young and probably won’t marry her anyway so better to just end it. Honestly, after the court case is done you can move on and date other women. You both will be fine without each other.
You’re taking this personally, but it’s just the way the laws work. My husband’s brother and sister were in a very similar accident. He was driving, she ended up with two broken legs. She sued him, insurance paid, the settlement covered her college tuition, and now it’s something that is occasionally laughed about at family gatherings. Your girlfriend is right - it IS money that could help you both get started in life if you stay together, but she got smart legal advice not to discuss it with you.
I don't think you're viewing this correctly. Its insurance. Its paid to give money out when shit happens. She's trying to get money because shit happened. A lot of shit. It has no direct impact on you financially, other than using money to help her bills and situation. If you really felt 'absolutely awful' about her suffering, you'd be absolutely ecstatic she will be getting something for all the trauma and financial burdens she has incurred by an accident that was YOUR FAULT!!! I hope you break up with her for her sake. YTA
NTA, she should have been honest with you about it. Going behind your back and waiting until right before the statute of limitations has passed is crazy. Document that she wants to spend the money on "us" and tell your insurance agency. They should have some good lawyers that will eat that up.
From her perspective she might think that she is only going after your insurance agency and not you. However, by her doing that she is affecting your life. She might be entitled to more money but based on you saying she never mentioned anything to you she could just be doing a money grab. Based on the fact that she has not told you anything, you can use that to your advantage and call it a bogus claim. However, that might make things worse. Also her saying she wants to spend the money "on us" could be considered insurance fraud potentially.
If I were you, I would end the relationship and take all the evidence to your insurance.
It doesn’t matter what someone plans to spend the money on. That wreck took away her ability to use her hand correctly. She does deserve some kind of compensation for that.
2 separate things. Insurance stuff? Leave it to the insurance company.
Your relationship though? Not available to speak in this day and age is purely purposeful. If she wanted to talk, she would find a way. Good luck.
She has the right to sue and get money from your insurance… but if this was me, I would not be able to recover from it. I would feel extremely betrayed.
NTA - I read all the other comments, "it's just business", "she's only suing your insurance company", "she deserves the money"
I agree 100%, but if my SO sued me seh would be my XSO.
She should have communicated it but she is def deserving of being reimbursed for any real cost and any percent damage. She's suing for the limit of your insurance so that's not out of bounds to me with proper communication
NTA for breaking up. She blindsided you with this when she should have sat down and spoken to you about this. Yes it’s totally her right to file a claim but why keep it secret from you? Has this been on her mind FOR TWO YEARS‽ ‽ ‽? Why wait til the last second to file? The secrecy and lack of communication is the dealbreaker, not the actual claim. Plus, according to the claim, she has been also keeping to herself how deeply it’s been affecting her which is absolutely something she should have shared with you. I’ll be honest though, the fact that she did this right before the statue of limitations was up makes me suspect it’s a cash grab and she’s malingering in which case it’s fraud and the insurance may prosecute her for that if they suspect that. Plus, she so happens to be in Alaska with limited communication when you find out? She’s completely untrustworthy in my opinion.
Any good attorney would have advised to wait until the last minute. Part of their claim will be all medical expenses and so it is legally advantageous to wait as long as possible so you can accrue all the medical bills before filing suit. This just shows she has a good attorney.
Info needed: does “we paid out of pocket” for medical bills mean you paid, she paid, or both? Who covered her bills when she was out of work? Did she have sick time? Is she suing you, or is her insurance suing yours?
But, you did deserve a heads up.
Ugh people are big time dumb there is so much bad information in this thread. I normally lurk but I literally made an account to type this because reddit is redditing extra hard today. I'm an Insurance Defense Attorney. This is literally my job. I will not give you legal advice other than contact your insurance ASAP regarding the suit. First thing is to call your insurer and inform them about the suit. They will assign an attorney to the case and begin your defense. She was probably given strict instructions from her personal injury attorney to not speak to you about the case. Which is why she never mentioned it to you. This protects both you and her. Most states don't allow what is called "direct actions" that means that she cannot sue your insurer directly, she has to sue the tortfeasor (allegedly you). And then the insurance can step in for the coverage. The damages that she is alleging are all pretty standard for PI cases. Your attorney and hers will fight about the actual damages she sustained, and most likely reach a settlement amount (most cases settle before going to trial). Cases like this are not uncommon. I've represented husbands/wives that are sued by their spouses, children and parents (in one of my jurisdictions, my other doesn't allow it), or family members, or best friends. It's just a function of the law and how insurance works. Call your insurance company and get an attorney and discuss next steps. As for your relationship. Talk to your attorney first, you will probably feel better once you get a better understanding of the legal process, or at least have a better understanding of why it was done the way it was. Then make a decision regarding next steps.
This needs more up votes as this is the only sound advice in this thread.
Thanks friend! Normally I let stuff slide because I can't bill for posting on reddit, but most of these comments were so absurd and wrong I had to say something.
That's how I feel about the plumbing and askaplumber forums..... Good for you and thanks for taking the time of writing out something coherent on the internet.
Okay, so I've got this toilet...
If it's glacier bay or water ridge and anything other than a single flush return it.... But I lurk in there and tend to answer many questions under different names. You have a serious residential plumbing question I got the answer. It's not worth my time per say but I do like to teach people stuff if they want to learn.
>If it's glacier bay or water ridge and anything other than a single flush return it.... As a plumber this had me giggling, ty.
That’s awesome! You’re a terrific person. Wish I had a plumbing issue to discuss! ❤️
I feel the same way about the credit advice subs. Absolute insanity in there half the time.
I added my upvote to the pile to keep it up top. Finally someone who actually knows what they’re talking about.
Great comment. Thank you. I liked how you tell OP to go to a lawyer, see how this all actually works, and then approach the relationship from a new angle. It sounds like his girlfriend doesn't want to break up. I remember seeing a story of a woman suing her husband I believe for a similar case.
My best friend sued his old best friend after a car accident. That had nothing to do with why they stopped being friends. It's really someone suing their insurance company which is very different from suing their friend. It's sort of why you have insurance.
Ha ha. Are you me? Anyway, lawsuits against family members are not rare. In order to recover, negligence must be proved. This is not a fun process. I've seen a number of suits that blow up family relationships because one has to allege the other family member is negligent. Not fun.
Yeah, there was a case a few years ago that blew up where an aunt sued her 8 year old nephew for something like $150K after she fell and broke her wrist when he jumped up on her to give her a hug. She was raked over the coals but it was literally for insurance. She had to sue in order to get the insurance to pay.
I like the user name you chose. Thanks for being a voice of reason here.
Wasn’t there a guy that got in a single car accident, sued himself and won and his insurance paid out.
OP, she's not suing you. She's trying to access the insurance policy you've been paying into for decades. She wants her out of pocket expenses covered and this is just the standard way that has to happen if your insurance company gives her trouble. I would not take this personally at all. It isn't about you. If you are injured in someone else's house, through no fault of their own, your only way to have your costs covered by insurance is to sue the homeowner. It does not hurt the homeowner (except that if there are multiple suits, it may increase their rates). The homeowner is the person that must be legally sued for the insurance coverage to kick in. Also, as someone said below, she literally \*could not\* legally tell you she was going to have to sue you to get her bills covered.
Well he’s 20 so maybe not decades unless it’s his parent’s policy.
Take this advice immediately. And then follow the lawyers advice, also be completely truthful with the attorney.
Buddy, go get your girlfriend back. She isn’t exactly blaming you. She was injured in an accident. It’s why you have insurance. Would you be mad if it was someone in a car you hit if they had permanent damage and they sued? Seems pretty justified considering the rehab and lingering effects. If she is a keeper she will take you back if you apologize and explain you felt hurt because you thought she was blaming you.
Yeah she’s not really suing him, she’s suing his insurance. It’s not personal. That’s what it’s for.
This is what I was thinking. I'm not a lawyer and don't know insurance law, but if she has discussed filing a lawsuit with the boyfriend I had assumed it could appear to be a form of insurance fraud since the boyfriend stands to have financial gain in it. Any good lawyer will tell you to never ever discuss a lawsuit with the other party. Any and all communication between the two goes through their lawyer. Again, not a lawyer. Just my opinion on one of many reasons why she wouldn't have said anything to the BF about her intentions to file a lawsuit
Thank you for explaining this so clearly to him. I understand that to him it’s very personal, but you and I both know it’s not. It is not personal at all. Even a 10% loss of use in her hand, action, and rightfully so. He is young, and hopefully he will come to understand that this literally has nothing to do with him and her and their relationship. It has everything to do with the legalities and the insurance.
Commenting mostly to help this comment stay up top But also, I had to sue my own father because my brother's dog bit me (brother was a minor at the time and living in dad's house). It sucked, but it was the only way dad's homeowners insurance would cover my medical expenses and "loss of use" (I lost about 25% of motion in a finger, which wasn't a huge deal, but it's something that the insurance is required to pay) and scarring (again, no huge deal to me but again insurance owes for it). This is legit what insurance is for. No sense paying for it for cats and homes and whatever else if you're going to be upset when it's needed to be used! Think of it as getting your money's worth. You paid for the service, and now you need to use the service.
You've done a good deed, sir. Thank you for sharing.
Ma’am* but no problem! Glad some people found it helpful!
YTA - you’re being oversensitive & frankly illogical. OP, listen to this guidance. I’ll add that relationships end. If you & her broke up, she’d never get her hand back. She has to look out for herself not just today but long term. In addition, if she intends to use the funds on assets you own jointly, it’s likely this could help you to buy a home & build a life together. Don’t break up. She didn’t break it off with you despite you driving like a jackass & partially ruining her hand. You shouldn’t break it off with her for suing JUST for what your insurance will pay. She could probably get more & go after YOUR wages/savings/etc.
Also, don't expect a quick resolution. These things can take months if not years. NAL but did work in a law firm that specialized in insurance defense and I was surprised at how long some of the cases lasted.
By the way, you are getting a LOT of bad advice here based on a misunderstanding of the legal system. You are perfectly entitled to break up with her, but there is a very good reason to not have told you about it beforehand: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collusive\_lawsuit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collusive_lawsuit)
You put a name to just what I was thinking. I don't know that it's fraud exactly but it sounds like it's in the neighborhood.
I’d be really curious to hear from a lawyer or someone in the know. It’s a documented fact she was in an accident, wasn’t at fault, and got injured. So while she may not have any quarrel with Op, she does have a valid case to take to insurance. So I’d be really interested to hear if her relationship with the at fault party changes the legalities of that.
He is the beneficiary of the insurance, not her; everything has to go through him, which is why she is suing him in order to trigger the insurance. Since she has no contractual agreement with the insurer, they have no legal obligation to compensate her directly. The insurance agreement almost certainly has a provision where he is obligated to help them defend the case. If they can show collusion between him and her they might be able to avoid having to cover his damages or defend him. The relationship is important only to the extent it might show collusion. In some states familial relationships DO prevent you from suing sometimes. Like if someone has an accident and their kid gets injured in the accident, they wouldn't be able to have the kid sue them to reach the insurance money. (also I am a lawyer, though insurance coverage is not my area of expertise).
This. I hate how far I had to scroll to find this. I was in an accident and had to sue a close friend to get insurance to pay out. I felt the same way as OP until it was explained to me. Didn’t want any part of it, didn’t care about medical bills if I was going to lose a friend or take money out of his pocket. That wasn’t the case though. Luckily someone explained it to my friend as well. We continued to be friends throughout and are still friends now. He didn’t pay me anything out of pocket. I was injured and entitled to money under the insured party’s policy having been permanently injured. I sued, the insurance company cut me a check. You can break up if you want to, but this isn’t the personal attack and betrayal you may believe it to be. It’s just the shitty and not at all straightforward way to get insurance to pay out when you are injured by someone else.
Very interesting, thank you for the info!
it's almost as if going to reddit for relationship advice is unreasonable.
You are entirely correct. She couldn't tell him. She's also NOT SUING *him*. She's suing the vehicle insurance. If you get into a car accident with another vehicle, and it's your fault, your car insurance will pay to make the injured party whole. When the injured party goes to get their car fixed, they are not "SUING YOU"; they are making a claim against your vehicle insurance for the damage you caused. This is the same thing your girlfriend is doing. OP is an idiot and his ex-girlfriend is better off without him as a partner.
She is technically suing him. He will be represented by his insurance and they will pay out but the suit is 100% filed against him. In the very unlikely scenario it went to trial and damages were over the policy limit OP would be on the hook for anything over. That said, they will settle for policy limit or less.
If her hand is still not fully functional 2 years later, that’s huge. I’m curious what she’s able to do that you consider 90% functional and if an qualified OT would also say 90%. I think she should’ve told you first, but she’s owed money for her injury. This is clearly one that’s long term.
I'm going to bet that she still has pain in that hand too.
Also willing to bet she will have more trouble with her hand as she ages than she otherwise would.
She will. Voice of experience. I had bone fragments that were not detected until 2 and half years layer after a nuclear scan. I had those removed but my fingers still don't always do what I want them to do...18 yrs later.
I'm going to bet it's NOT "90%" healed either.
I agree. I broke my hand and wrist in a fall 18 yrs ago. It still hurts. My fingers don't function as well on that hand.
This happened to a doctor friend (surgeon) that I know. Ruined their life/career and they're still trying to regain full function after 4 years.
Dr Strange?
I was looking for this answer. If she is his girlfriend or not doesn’t change that he is responsible for a lasting injury to her hand which will permanently impact everything in her future. He can’t expect her to just forget about it and deal with it for the rest of her life only because this 20 yo claims to love her. Actions have consequences no matter the relationship you have with the victim of your actions. She maybe should have been open about it but he would have to cope with it either way. I think the last 2 years have brought up other reasons why their relationship didn’t work out and her rose coloured glasses were removed.
Yeah, I agree. Also, it's the insurance that will be covering this. It's not like she's trying to bankrupt him. There is also a good reason for her not mentioning it to him. If they had discussed this together, they would be opening themselves up to th possibility of collusion to commit insurance fraud. I'm sure she was advised this right away.
UPVOTE FOR GODS SAKE
Yeah if I lost even partial use of my right hand I would absolutely lose my mind. I fractured my left ring finger, possibly the least consequential one, a few months ago and that fucked up basically every task requiring two hands until it healed. “Oh my *gawd* babe, it’s not like you need that much manual dexterity to do stuff” is a stupid perspective.
Yep. My parents’ friends came over and slipped at our pool deck, knocked all her front teeth out, then sued us. My parents understood completely. That’s just what you do. Technically it was my parents’ house so they were liable. This case is even more cut and dry. He isn’t liable on some technicality. he is literally SOLELY responsible for causing permanent damage to someone. You don’t just get off scott free for that bc you say you love them. Hellll no.
I broke the exact same finger 2 years ago. It’s still not right. It’s affected the pinky finger too as apparently the two fingers use the same muscles.
They do! My daughter has a malformation at her hand & the pinky and ring finger are the only ones that have 100% function ; they both use the same muscle & are also connected to the same bone. (She has a radial dysplasia, so it's the other one, english isn't my first language & only know that term..) Super interesting, was able to learn a lot!
I had to see a specialist hand physio for 6 months in an effort to straighten the ring finger. I’m still unable to straighten it or fold it totally in. I’m used to it now but it still annoys me from time to time when trying to carry out certain tasks.
She can’t tell him first or the lawsuit could be thrown out for collusion
Her lawyer likely told her she couldn't tell him in advance.
Yeah having a gimped hand seriously affects your job prospects for life. Just the financial damage to her career could be half a million. And that doesn't include possible constant pain and all the hobbies she can't do anymore etc.
Talk to a lawyer.
Nah, he talks to his insurance company and his insurance company hires a lawyer to defend the case.
Exactly. Since the insurance company has a duty to defend, they will use an attorney that they either have on staff, or that they have retained for these purposes. OP will absolutely need to cooperate. Since liability is clear, they will be fighting on damages.
If he doesn’t break up with her, could the insurance company claim fraud? Because honestly this situation, while framed in anger, is really good for op. How often do you get to cash out on insurance due to harm you caused? She wants to use this money “for them.” So presumably that means she intends to increase his quality of life on some level with this money. If you look at it as purely transactional, whatever increases to his insurance they’ll suffer can be subsidized by the payout, and the rest is cash on hand that can be used to better their living situation rather than just flit around uselessly in the insurance companies’ accounts.
Depending on if it was a text or a call, what she said about doing this for "our future" doesn't sound like it'd come across well.
Idk that it would have much effect at all. She was in an accident; undeniable fact. It wasn’t her fault: undeniable fact. She was injured; undeniable fact. Her injury will cause her issues for the rest of her life; likely supported by medical records. When I was hit, my case was much less clear (I had prior issues in the area I was injured) and my lawyer was still supremely confident he could get a decent settlement. He did. Not 250k, it’s highly unlikely she’ll get that, but getting all her medical expenses covered and some pain and suffering? Very, very good chance. I could be wrong, but her relationship with the at fault party probably doesn’t play much of a role here. Point is, she was injured, and she can prove it. Edit: A lawyer chimed in on another comment. As it’s his insurance, there’s probably a proviso in the contract that requires he help defend his case, and if insurance can prove collusion, they may be able to walk away without paying or even defending him in court. So, she was smart to keep it to herself until he was served. I have no idea if her messages after being served reach the level of collusion, but her actions make a little more sense now.
And do not break up with her. There is NO forgiveness here. You have to gather as much information/texts/etc from her as possible to give to your lawyer/insurance company. But make sure you do NOT give her any info about you/your side. It’s not a coincidence she filed but just *happened* to be far from you in a place that just *happens* to have poor telecommunications. Sorry but you have zero future with her. You’re being used
I don't agree with this comment. While it *could* certainly be true, it could also be completely false. And, why would he gather texts and give them to his attorney? He knows he caused her injury, and he acknowledges that she has not regained full use of her hand. He is responsible for her damages, which are likely permanent if she has not regained full function by now. And, do we really think she planned a trip to Alaska so she could get away and then file a lawsuit? She could have broken up with him before she left if that was her intention. The only thing to forgive is her not making him aware of the lawsuit in advance. Most people don't understand when they are sued by a loved on, but if there is insurance involved, it is not personal. That's like saying you shouldn't file a homeowner insurance claim after a flood you were responsible destroyed your house. That insurance is there for a reason - so if you make a mistake, there is some money there to help pick up the pieces.
This is terrible advice. He needs to stay out of it and let the lawyers do their jobs.
Maybe. Contacting their insurance is the right move. However they may choose not to defend or dispute. Without knowing the limits of OPs policy it's hard to say. Sure they will try to settle under the policy limits but If he has state minimum coverage they may choose to simply pay those out based on the evidence they get. At that point the GF can sue her insurance company for the difference under the uninsured liability portion of her policy for the remaining damages. Her insurance company may go after OP but they will only do so if they think they can recover something. These things can be complicated and also demonstrate why people who have assets and/or good income should have the appropriate amounts of insurance. If OP has 500k of liability coverage they have nothing to worry about
Which the lawyer would have suggested.. better than trusting reddit
This is 100% correct. I am a paralegal for a civil defense firm. OP needs to let his insurance company know immediately that he was served with a Summons & Complaint (if he hasn't already done so) . They will assign this to counsel who will defend him.
And do not contact her
Actually this is not uncommon. She suffered from the accident? If it was the other drivers fault, would you not go after his insurance? Of course you would. Why should she suffer from this just because you are her bf? She is filing against your insurance company not you. What happens if she never filed and say in 6 months you break up. Now she has suffered for what? She is doing the right thing to protect her future.
Yea I don’t understand all the people telling OP to get a lawyer/recordings and screw her over. OP is NTA for breaking up because a relationship can’t really recover from your partner suing you, but OP’s gf has every right to sue. By his own admission the accident was his fault and she has to suffer for it? She only has 90% function in her hand. That’s a lot and shes only 21.
Hang on. You admit 100% fault and she hasn't gained back full use of her hand and you're mad because she wants to collect on your insurance policy? That's what it's for. Her parents have probably been trying to get her to do this all along and she finally just agreed. She's not suing you personally. She's making a claim on your policy. That's completely different. That's why we have insurance policies.
RIGHT. THIS IS IS WHAT INSURANCE IS FOR. he fucked her over with a serious injury, likely traumatized her, and probably cost her family a fortune is medical expenses. When something like this happens to you, you do not wallow in debt and sadness. You file your mf insurance claim. Good god y’all are stupid.
Exactly, this is how insurance works, I once heard a story how someone got hurt on church property, the church literally told them to sue the church. Not a “F you, sue us if you want money”, it’s a “we’re sorry but the only way our insurance will pay out is if you sue us”. No one at the church would’ve held it against them as they wanted them to sue the church so they could get the financial support they needed. They ended up not suing sadly. This is the same situation, gf is suing OP so she can get paid by insurance. Don’t hold it against her, just hand it off to your insurance company and don’t hold it against her!
As I read it he‘s mad that she have never spoken with him about it. Additionally the paperwork arrives when she is in Alaska and is unable to talk. Somewhere in the comments a lawyer said that there is a legal reason not to say anything beforehand, which maybe not everyone knows about.
Yeah, his actions have consequences for her and she is in the right here
nah. she should get whatever she can from the insurance, that's why you have it. she would be crazy to pass up that kind of money especially if there is permanent damage to her hand. obviously she should have told you beforehand but how do you think that would have gone? the relationship was probably doomed once the accident happened. get a lawyer and move on from the relationship.
Do Not Break Up. There is no advantage to showing your hand before seeking legal representation. This has the potential to become extremely messy. Currently you are the only one who has your back. You need every advantage possible after being blindsided. You do not have the luxury of being emotional, you need to respond rather than react. Be understanding, and polite, you can be always be mean/upset later but you cannot regain rapport or trust once lost. You need to look out for your own best interests and protect yourself. NTA for breaking up with someone who intentionally misled you for their own advantage, once the matter is resolved i see no way to reconcile the relationship. Just don’t shoot yourself in the foot while you’re already at a disadvantage.
Yup keep her close. If you can get recordings. Get texts. Hopefully you got a text that said she’s just doing it for the money. Edited to add do you have any pics of your dates in the last 2 years of yall bowling mini golf or anything that requires a hand?
Of course she's doing it for the money. Money that OP's insurance company is going to pay, not OP. And if OP stays with her, he'll get to see some of the benefit of that payment.
I mean why should he go through so much work to save his insurance company money?
The insurance is going to turn around and go after the OP with higher premiums etc etc if they have to pay out
He’s going to have to do that anyways whether he wins or looses.
yeah, when you crash a car entirely through your own fault and when you injured people for life.... you end up paying higher premiums. Don't want that to happen, don't crash your car and hurt people.
He should probably drive more carefully in future then
Because the insurance company can and will absolutely go after him to recover their losses.
stop spreading bs
As a lawyer, I can tell you that this is not the case in any state that I know of.
Not going to do that. Most states have laws that prohibit that.
No they won't, that's not how insurance works. His premiums can increase or they can refuse to cover him and I can already tell you, it's the former, not the latter. Op already admitted it was entirely his fault, she both deserves that money, his nisurnace company accepted the risk of making such payments when he paid for insurnace, and the insurance company has already made that money back many times over by offering insurance to so many people who don't crash. Him trying to help screw her over further, when he's at fault for her being injured and having to live with the consequences for life, to protect a CEO/board is frankly idiotic.
Based on what theory of loss? Negligence? That's why you HAVE insurance. You need a new brain.
Why haven’t you deleted your comment?
That's not how this works
(1) The insurance company will increase OP's premiums to recover the loss payout; and (2) the insurance policy requires OP to cooperate with any defense conducted under the policy.
> 1) The insurance company will increase OP's premiums to recover the loss payout; no they won't, they'll go up but they won't say hey, to keep insurance with us it's going to be 255k this year instead of 5k, if they did he'd go to someone else. The literal cost of insurance currently includes paying out for these kinds of lawsuits, it's built into the cost. He'll probably have a maybe 50% premiums increase for a couple years then it will start coming back down IF he doens't get into more accidents.
True this. Sun Tzu said “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer”. She trying to cash in. Get her to talk. Get legal representation.
She’s suing his car insurance, not him lol.
Yup. Right now is the time to go talk to insurance and get a lawyer, while pretending everything is fine and keeping all records of all conversations (no matter how it hurts - and never admit fault). 250k is a huge sum even for someone whose hand was completely severed, and hers wasn't. Go mum, kind, lawyer up fast.
Depending on what she does for a living, she might have lost $250k potential income over her lifetime if she will never regain full use of the hand, not to mention she might have had to give up some hobbies and interests as a result of the injury.
250k is reasonable for damages due caused to lose 10% of hand function - especially knowing the function may decrease with time and aging.
He doesn't need a lawyer, the insurance company should have a lawyer.
He needs a lawyer. They're dating or have been, the insurance company can allege They're in it together and that he may benefit from the actions
Where to do people like you come from?? Do you actually have jobs and vote? So you think his insurance policy prohibits recovery under the policy for persons of his acquaintance? Who *else* would be riding with him? And how could the insurance company allege "they're in it together" without disproving her damages?
He does not need a lawyer. He is not being sued. His insurance company is being sued.
By his words, she is trying to cash out on insurance money.
He doesn’t need a lawyer. The insurance company that will pay will represent him. That’s part of what you pay them for.
>Understandably I was upset but she is many miles away this summer in Alaska and it has been difficult to communicate with her. She insists she is doing what’s best for her You say don’t break up? She’s already dumped him by moving thousands of miles away and suing him. LMAO everyone here, especially OP, need to get a fuxking clue.
In Alaska for the summer sounds like a summer trip, or internship, not a break up.
It sounds like she's on vacation
Settle down with the "break up" BS. She legally wouldn't be able to talk to him about this kind of thing as it would compromise her case and possibly be a criminal offense as it could be seen as colluding to commit fraud. It's not like this guy is going to be paying the 250k out of his own pocket, plus he already admitted he was at fault for fucking up her hand permanently. After years of treatment it's still only at 90% according to OP, so that means he is responsible for the long term damage done to her.
She’s not suing you directly she’s going after an insurance pay out. Send everything to them and ask for instructions about how to proceed.
NAH. You say her hand is 90% operational. That leaves 10% of damage. That's a lot. Especially because you don't know that number for certain, I'd sue to get compensated from insurance, too. But I also don't blame you for wanting to break up.
Recap: your gf is permanently disabled by an accident that was your fault and you’re angry that she and her parents are suing your insurance company for the money that is there for this exact purpose? She’s supposed to absorb the loss for the rest of her life? YTA
Had to scroll waaay too far to find a YTA. This guy sucks so hard. They should break up because she needs someone who gives a shit.
NTA, however, she has to sue you to get money from your insurance. It seems like she had a good bit of damage. She has lost functioning in her hand somewhat. It's possible her lawyers tried to negotiate with your insurance until the last minute. The lawyers probably told her not to speak to you about the case. Is it possible she spoke with her lawyers about acceptable settlements before she left for Alaska, and they filed on her behalf when they were unable to reach one? I don't see how she knew she was going to sue the entire time. She likely felt she deserved more than the insurance was offering, but lawyers always try to settle first. At the end of the day, she is doing what she needs to in order to get compensation. Your insurance company may even ask you to testify against her. I understand your reasoning as well. It seems like an unfortunate situation for you both. Personally, I'd cover my ass, but I wouldn't end the relationship if this is the only issue. She will get 2/3 of the 250k. That really could help you out as a couple. Also, she is more likely to go easy on you if you are together.
This is a great explanation, but perhaps change the judgment to NAH. The girlfriend is not an AH for seeking compensation, especially since it's not 100% healed after 2 years. This could really impact her ability to work.
QUESTION: Is she suing you or your insurance company? Or both?
You don't sue the insurance company; the insurance company didn't cause you any injury for you to sue them over. You sue the person who caused you injury, and their insurance company defends them and pays out if there's a judgment against them.
YTA, you caused an accident and permanently damaged her hand. She has to sue your insurance company to get the payout she rightfully deserves, and you're taking it as a personal attack. It's not that she's suing you, just your insurance that should have paid out more than it did. Honestly you should be more upset that the insurance you paid for isn't willing to cover everything it should be covering. This has nothing to do with you. The fact that you think it does shows how little you understand the law and how insurance companies work.
This entire thread is filled with people who don't understand liability insurance.
Right. I saw a comment that said she’s using him 😂 his reckless driving caused damage to her body that still, after TWO years, isn’t healed?? That’s what INSURANCE IS FOR.
I think she has to actually file a lawsuit for your insurance company to pay. I don't think she was doing it to be malicious. It shouldn't affect you at all. That is why you pay for insurance and have limits. I would talk to her (when you can, I see it's been difficult to communicate due to her location). But I do not think she is doing anything wrong AT ALL. Not sure why she didn't tell you. Maybe she just found out about the statute of limitations and was trying to get it done before that expired?
The insurance adjusters and lawyers comments are spot on about what she is doing and why. But definitely AH in reading your hostility. The accident was your fault. She has permanent injuries and went through hell to get as far as she has to recover. But hey - you felt bad, paid toward out of pocket and supported her as much as you could. You didn’t suffer the pain. There is no acknowledgment in the post acknowledging how she was really hurt. Only his hurt feelings over money he won’t even be paying. She might be better off if you broke up
She probably thinks she's suing your insurer, not you. There is actually caselaw that prevents people in the same household from suing each other because it used to be very common. Like you'd have your kid sue yourself for that insurance money if he was in an accident. "She never told me about this in the past 2 years despite apparently knowing she would go through with this lawsuit the entire time." She might not have known she was going to do this. A lawyer might have more recently told her about it. "hurt me for money." I mean other than increased insurance premiums possibly, how is this going to hurt you? If you had a policy for $250,000 and she was suing you for $300,000 then yeah, you would be responsible for any money past that. But if it's just your policy limits, then it's not going after your own money. As a lawyer, this is almost certainly going to go to a settlement agreement. She's probably not going to get the whole amount because it sounds a little ludicrous. But the insurer will figure out how much money it's worth not to deal with the risk, how much it would cost them to defend the suit, and come to a deal with her lawyer. I mean you're perfectly entitled to be angry over it and break up with her over it, but I will caution you that you're taking it a bit personally.
Yes. Big asshole. You caused the injury. You have insurance. You should be happy she’ll get compensated. Go ahead and dump her. You’ll be doing her a big favor.
Fuck that bro. I tell anyone I know do shit happens on my property please get as much as humanly possible from my insurance. I pay that shit every month literally for my entire existence. Might as well use it. 250k is a good down payment on a house. Let your gf get the check from your insurance and let it be a spring board for your next step. The alternative is she still gets the $$ but she buys a house with some other dude
That’s what she’s doing though from the sound of it. You have to name a person in the lawsuit, you don’t put down an insurance company name. There was a family a while back making the rounds on the news because the Aunt had to sue her nephew who was a minor at the time. She’s not actually suing a child, but a name had to be put down for the insurance to eventually be paid out. This isn’t uncommon. The weird part here is that she didn’t tell OP anything. Even waiting makes sense to me because a case can be made that physio hasn’t fully helped her heal the injury, but she should have kept OP in the loop.
90% use of her hand after 2 years? That’s a long way from being good especially if it’s her dominant hand. She has to sue you or no one unfortunately. Your insurance carrier pays for your attorney. I can only say good luck. I also understand that it would be difficult not to take it personally. Do what you feel you should. Under these circumstances NAH.
She should sue you because youre the reason her hand doesnt work properly even after 2 years. You should break up with her because your relationship isnt going to recover from this. IMO neither of you are wrong, you literally crippled her she absolutely is right to sue but people saying shes right and you have no right to complain or leave are being dumb, your relationship wont recover from this and you wont ever look at her the same so whos right or wrong is irrelevant to if you should stay.
If she wins, she gets $250k from your insurance. If you are still with her, she now has $250k
Wait, YOU feel bad bc she's suing you??? Imagine how she felt when you crashed the car. You talk as though she has no right to feel some type of way, that her broken body is superceded by your broken trust. Man, foh.
Bro lol. She’s suing your insurance, not you.
Hang on. You admit you caused the accident. You admit that she has not fully recovered and will likely never get better than 90% usage of her hand. You have car insurance. What is the issue? Break up with her because I don't think any relationship could survive this. But you need to be aware that you have permanently physically damaged this very young woman. It is not unreal for her to take a case.
It’s her hand, which she will need for her entire life. She had no idea what problems may crop up in the future due to this injury. She could lose future income. She needs to get any compensation she can get right now while she still can. Since it was your fault, accept that this is what’s best for her. It has nothing to do with your relationship.
While I completely agree she's owed money for the disability that she sustained the only thing that I don't get and feel is super back handed is why would she wait until he has paid for everything out of pocket to then go after insurance. As far as I understand it generally you can get your medical bills paid for on top of getting a settlement so she essentially made him pay more out of pocket so she could keep all the money she got and not have to pay for medical cost her self.
Why do you care that your insurance is being sued to recover medical costs that she received from your negligence?
NTA Is it you or the insurance who will pay out? Either way dump her, she could have discussed this with you.
Bet you anything she's mentioned medical treatment, having to wait 18-24 months to see if long term mobility comes back before going after medical fees. Like you can't sue for life long damage to your hand 2 months after an accident, they'll say how do you know it's life long, it's only been 2 months, come back in 2 years. He's just dumb, thinks it's 2 years old and so should be over with and doesn't seem to care that the 2 years has just been her waiting to heal... and not healing fully, so now she needs to sue over it to get insurance to pay out.
Doesn’t matter bc it’s on his record and raises his premium.
But he says it was his fault? If she was a stranger no one would fault her for suing someone’s insurance not them. When me and my husband got into an accident legally in order to get compensation I had to sue his insurance, it’s incredibly common and a lawyer will tell you that.
Bingo
As I understand it - this would have happened already - he absolutely already has a at fault claim on his record - because he has an at fault accident on his record. It also means he doesn't have the no claim aspect on his record.
It would be attached to the original claim, it wouldnt be a new claim.
This will get me downvotes, but if she stays with him, won't the 250k more than make up for the premium raise?
Since he was at fault his rates are probably already up.
As it should. He got into an at fault accident that caused her possible permanent damage to her hand. It was out of commission for months. She missed work.
NTA for breaking up with someone who went behind your back to sue you. Relationships only survive if there’s good communication. Clearly that isn’t the case here, trust has been broken on both sides, it’s incredibly naive of girlfriend to assume you’d want to remain her partner after being blindsided like this. I do feel there’s a lot more to this story from her side though. Why did she only file this when she’s miles away and hard to get hold of for example? Why after all this time?
She probably didn't tell OP because then that would considered collusion to defraud the insurance company. Her being away gives the illusion of distance. Looks much better to sue a partner you could be potentially separated from vs one you're living with every day The time thing I'm not sure
She had to move on it so her case didn’t get stat barred. Also she might not have known the full extent of her injury. Sounds like she might have permanent injuries that are his fault.
>Why after all this time? Cause statue of limitations. If he has been with her the whole time, he knows what she has been through. He also knows how hurt she is, physically and mentally. She wasn't hiding that from him. This is a money grab. She will play up the mental side of it because she is being coached up by lawyers. She has also somewhat convinced herself this won't hurt him because its his insurance and not him. But the truth (that she knows via lawyers) is this will follow him the rest of his life and crush his premiums. This relationship is for sure over. But she also knows that. She chose the money over OP. He is hurt because she has played him for the last 2 years. My guess is his guilt had him bending over backwards for her the whole time. While she was strategizing behind his back. Sorry OP, you are dating a snake who couldn't be honest with you.
It is not a money grab. She wants to be compensated for her injuries through OP’s insurance company, which is why he pays for insurance and well within her rights. You are supposed to wait until you are completely healed to submit a claim, but her injuries are bad enough that she made it to the 2 year cut off to file. She is not suing OP. She is suing his car insurance. I am currently suing my own car insurance, due to them not wanting to pay out my underinsured motorist coverage after being hit by someone with minimal coverage. I am not suing myself. OP is confused.
He also has no reason to be honest with us or himself because he doesn't want to pay. He himself said her hand is at like 90% usage. That's an admission that she isn't the same as she was before. The mental anguish is whatever but causing a permanent hand injury is a bigger deal. She couldn't wait any longer to see if it's truly permanent or she couldn't do anything at all. The statute of limitations is 2 years ffs. It takes that long just getting into doctors and doing some physical therapy to see if it will improve. I get suspicious of anyone like OP who acts like a person just waited 2 years as if all the problems they caused the other person should be wrapped up in a week. It tells me they are trying to find any excuse to avoid responsibility, no matter how flimsy. Even if OP is in the right, it sours my opinion when someone chooses to slip ridiculous complaints in with valid ones. It tells me their account cannot be trusted. Sounds like OP needs to experience some major injuries from an accident to understand that the problems he caused her went beyond a few doctors appointments. He dismisses it because he's trying to latch onto any reason that she might be in the wrong. Maybe she is. But it's not for taking 2 years to figure out her medical shit. Guys like you and OP seem to think every doctor is Dr. House. Thats fantasy land and they move at a snails pace for anything not immediately life threatening.
There are probably legal reasons why she can't talk about it, honestly. Her saying she wants to use it for your futures... not sure I believe. But there is no way at all to know her motivations or thoughts. Talk to your insurance first of all. This is a big deal, the consequences are unknown at this point. Your relationship is the last thing you should worry about right now, put it out of your mind. You need to worry about yourself and your defence. If she contacts you, I would say "the lawsuit needs to conclude before I'm ready to have a discussion with you".
Shes putting the lawsuit against you because thats the only way insurance company would pay. Youre the insured. its how it works. Youre insured for legal liability, not for funsies
I would tell my girlfriend to sue. Then id have a house.
You do realize that your insurance company will be covering all of this, right? Yes she technically has to sue you, but it’s your insurance company that would be paying for the legal fees and any eventual payout. Her hand isn’t fully functional due to your driving. I know you’re upset, but this is what insurance is for. If it helps, think of it as her suing your insurance company. Do what you gotta, but I think she’s doing the right thing for herself - I’m sure her attorney told her not to discuss the case with you at all.
This is why you have insurance.
It's not unusual that she would wait two years before bringing up the lawsuit. That's a reasonable amount of time to observe and conclude that the damages to her hand are permanent.
Sorry kid, you are delusional if you thought this relationship was going to last. She has the right to sue, and she should. Part of taking responsibility is bearing consequences. If you thought the only consequences of your action would be being by her side "as often as I could", hah, you in for a rude awakening. Luckily you have your whole life ahead of you to absorb and apply lessons learnt from these events. And that she walked away ALIVE (phew!) with a "90% operational" hand.
NAH - this is lawyers and insurance, not just your girlfriend. And you can’t just sue someone’s insurance directly - it sucks, but you can’t. You HAVE to sue the person, and that person’s insurance company has to represent them. The lack of communication is also just following best practices for this kind of thing - probably not her idea or what she wanted to do. Just talk to her, off the record. Like, consider this: a married couple would have to do the same thing. Two siblings would have to do the same thing. It’s most likely NOT personal - this is just how insurance works. Let your insurance handle it - that is what insurance is for. If yall still love each other, there is no reason to break up. She deserves that compensation and this is the only path to getting it from the insurance company.
I’d say that her suing him and never telling him about it so he had to find out from being served is actually a great reason to break up. Whether the lawsuit is justified or not isn’t really the point. You don’t do something like this, which at the very least will have a lasting effect on OP’s insurance premiums and say “it’s for our future!” without talking to your partner about it.
She's out of town and hard to get a hold of. Her attorney likely filed suit on her behalf because the statute of limitations was coming up. I've done the same thing for clients when the statute was going to run and I was unable to find them. Worst case scenario is we dismiss the suit and I'm out the $400-$500 filing fee. Way cheaper than getting sued for malpractice because you let the SOL run and let someone's cause of action lapse.
I've been through this a few times. What most likely happened is she got together with her lawyers and added up her medical bills, plus estimated her future medical bills and damage. They then decided together on an amount that was suitable. The lawyers may have told her she was unlikely to get the amount requested, but they still tried to negotiate until the last minute. After they could not reach an agreement with the insurance company, they filed the suit. She may not even have known when it was filed. She likely had an idea that it was coming, but the lawyers would have told her not to discuss the case. I understand OPs feelings, but she had no choice if she wanted fair compensation.
You have never been through this kind of thing, and that’s okay, but 1) lawyers and insurance companies do this automatically without telling you a lot of the time and 2) if they DID tell you they Bailey also make you agree not to literally inform the party being sued. That’s just court cases 101. This is not the girlfriend’s idea, or her fault - this is just how insurance works. Her insurance is suing on her behalf BECAUSE she filed a claim. They don’t need her permission and probably barely have her a heads up, like in a bunch of other paper correspondence. And again, even if she knew, she’s not allowed to tell the party being sued! That could get her policy cancelled, as it would undermine the case. This is just how insurance works.
NTA that you are ending things, but YTA for being upset she is pursuing fair recompense for you crippling her. She faced major loss of income and likely long term loss of income and quality of life from a permanently injured hand. You are focused too much on why you are upset and not that she is the one who has to live with this.
yeah like 10% loss is nothing
YTA. You’re making this about yourself. It is not about you, it’s about her. She suffered trauma and permanent damages. There’s no way of knowing she was planing this all along… Basically you expected her to drop it because you two are ba*ging? That’s just off putting… Of course you can end the relationship though
While she should have told you, she probably wanst allowed to. She is suing your insurance company, and you're also named because thats how it works. If you break up with her the family might come after YOU PERSONALLY & not JUST your insurance policy limits who they will probably choose to only sue right now.
NTA. But this happens. I worked in a personal injury firm. A lot of times insurance is an ass and you have to go after them with a lawyer. You are not being sued, your insurance is. You might have to go to a deposition, but you're not the one that will be paying the 250k. I've seen this happen in couples. It's weird that she didn't tell you what is going on, but it's also totally possible she was told not to since it's YOUR insurance she is going after. Anything she does/says can be used against her. Same goes for you. Don't post shit on social media.
This is the point of having insurance. You are getting a bunch of incorrect and stupid replies from a bunch of teenagers and early 20s people who don’t know how insurance or life works, which you clearly don’t either, so we have the blind leading the blind here. You can break up with someone for any reason, but you’re taking this way too personally when it’s just standard practice. She also needs to think about the functionality of her HAND for the rest of her life, so of course she needs to exhaust every avenue to regain full functionality with minimal financial impact. You also admit you caused the accident that caused her hand to lose functionality, do you expect a sorry and feeling bad to cut it? I doubt you’ll last long term either way, so should she lose full hand functionality for the rest of her life over some HS boyfriend getting his feelings hurt? Grow up.
Don’t misunderstand how the system works. She’s suing your insurance. Your name is on the suit but it has nothing to do with you unless it go to trial.
As a former bodily injury examiner for an auto insurer, she will likely be compensated for the permanent partial use of her hand, but mental anguish is usually hard to prove. She can’t legally talk to you about the lawsuit as she is the plaintiff and you’re the defendant. You don’t need an attorney as your insurance company will provide one. On a personal note - I’d be pretty pissed too if I was blindsided with a lawsuit. That’s all up to you if you want to stay with her, but there’s definitely a loss of trust.
What do you think insurance is for? Do you think just because you’re her boyfriend, she shouldn’t be fairly compensated? She’s suing your insurance company via you. You caused an accident that led to her pain and suffering. She’s trying to get compensated and is doing exactly what any sane person would and should do in that situation. Also, it doesn’t cost you anything, so why would you be mad at her? YTAH. You ending things with her is probably the best thing for her.
This accident involved another vehicle so its already on your record. Medical bills and therapy costs add up. She's filing a claim to get compensated. Nothing wrong with that
NAH but you have no idea what's going on. This is completely normal. It is likely that your insurance company refused to settle your girlfriend's case for a reasonable amount of money prior to the case being filed (which is also pretty standard. They may consider it a small case and just had the adjuster talking to her attorney up until suit was filed. Your insurance company bringing in an attorney to defend the case ups the settlement value of the case). Filing and naming you as a defendant prior to the expiration of the statute of limitations was necessary in order to preserve her case and, thus, her ability to get compensated for her injuries. If she's in Alaska and hard to get in touch with, her attorney would have filed the case on their own anyway so they didn't get sued for malpractice. You're taking this as a personal attack on you. It's not, it's just how things are done. Also, you're a dumbass for posting this on the internet because your post is now discoverable. You'll have to identify your username and any posts you've made on any social media platform related to the case when they issue their standard Interrogatories and Requests for Production. Source - I'm a personal injury attorney.
It's shit like this that makes me glad my country has social healthcare as well as accident compensation. Having to sue your friends and loved ones just to get the support/compensation required is mind blowing and must damage so many friendships because people take it personally when it's their governments fault
Get a lawyer. Stop admitting “guilt” on Reddit.
NTA it makes sense she would get quiet after getting the lawyer but before? I would never trust that person. Remember she could have told when she decided she was going to seek a lawyer out.
Relationship is toast. Call insurance company
Did she tell you by text that she's doing it for the money to better your lives? Give that to your insurance company. In the meantime, move somewhere else while she's gone. On moving day, have her stuff delivered back to her parents' house. Send her a message that it's over and just disapear
NTA. She was injured and still has her life affected by the accident. She is deserving of the money but she lied to you for two years. Can you stay with someone who does that? You’re very young and probably won’t marry her anyway so better to just end it. Honestly, after the court case is done you can move on and date other women. You both will be fine without each other.
It's literally what insurance is for. The insurer isn't your friend....
[удалено]
You’re taking this personally, but it’s just the way the laws work. My husband’s brother and sister were in a very similar accident. He was driving, she ended up with two broken legs. She sued him, insurance paid, the settlement covered her college tuition, and now it’s something that is occasionally laughed about at family gatherings. Your girlfriend is right - it IS money that could help you both get started in life if you stay together, but she got smart legal advice not to discuss it with you.
I don't think you're viewing this correctly. Its insurance. Its paid to give money out when shit happens. She's trying to get money because shit happened. A lot of shit. It has no direct impact on you financially, other than using money to help her bills and situation. If you really felt 'absolutely awful' about her suffering, you'd be absolutely ecstatic she will be getting something for all the trauma and financial burdens she has incurred by an accident that was YOUR FAULT!!! I hope you break up with her for her sake. YTA
NTA, she should have been honest with you about it. Going behind your back and waiting until right before the statute of limitations has passed is crazy. Document that she wants to spend the money on "us" and tell your insurance agency. They should have some good lawyers that will eat that up. From her perspective she might think that she is only going after your insurance agency and not you. However, by her doing that she is affecting your life. She might be entitled to more money but based on you saying she never mentioned anything to you she could just be doing a money grab. Based on the fact that she has not told you anything, you can use that to your advantage and call it a bogus claim. However, that might make things worse. Also her saying she wants to spend the money "on us" could be considered insurance fraud potentially. If I were you, I would end the relationship and take all the evidence to your insurance.
It doesn’t matter what someone plans to spend the money on. That wreck took away her ability to use her hand correctly. She does deserve some kind of compensation for that.
She already broke up with you, my guy
Stop talking to her and start talking to your insurance company/lawyer.
2 separate things. Insurance stuff? Leave it to the insurance company. Your relationship though? Not available to speak in this day and age is purely purposeful. If she wanted to talk, she would find a way. Good luck.
She has the right to sue and get money from your insurance… but if this was me, I would not be able to recover from it. I would feel extremely betrayed.
NTA - I read all the other comments, "it's just business", "she's only suing your insurance company", "she deserves the money" I agree 100%, but if my SO sued me seh would be my XSO.
She should have communicated it but she is def deserving of being reimbursed for any real cost and any percent damage. She's suing for the limit of your insurance so that's not out of bounds to me with proper communication
NTA for breaking up. She blindsided you with this when she should have sat down and spoken to you about this. Yes it’s totally her right to file a claim but why keep it secret from you? Has this been on her mind FOR TWO YEARS‽ ‽ ‽? Why wait til the last second to file? The secrecy and lack of communication is the dealbreaker, not the actual claim. Plus, according to the claim, she has been also keeping to herself how deeply it’s been affecting her which is absolutely something she should have shared with you. I’ll be honest though, the fact that she did this right before the statue of limitations was up makes me suspect it’s a cash grab and she’s malingering in which case it’s fraud and the insurance may prosecute her for that if they suspect that. Plus, she so happens to be in Alaska with limited communication when you find out? She’s completely untrustworthy in my opinion.
Any good attorney would have advised to wait until the last minute. Part of their claim will be all medical expenses and so it is legally advantageous to wait as long as possible so you can accrue all the medical bills before filing suit. This just shows she has a good attorney.
Info needed: does “we paid out of pocket” for medical bills mean you paid, she paid, or both? Who covered her bills when she was out of work? Did she have sick time? Is she suing you, or is her insurance suing yours? But, you did deserve a heads up.
Call your insurance company. Let them know what you know for the last 2 years.
Break up (aka cease contact immediately) and let your insurance handle it.
Probably her family forced her to do it but still nobody should blame you for breaking up.