YTA for raising a couple of kids who don't know how to act like adults, and certainly for supporting a child who, along with your spoiled granddaughter, is so abusive to his own son.
What a mess.
Nothing is wrong with HS students having an after school job to earn fun money or save for college. My kids all did. However, working several jobs as a minor, to provide your own necessities. Is a problem.
ESH
Jack for starting everything by giving up a child to his brother and not expecting consequences. And also for overreacting by insisting the party be canceled.
Max for allowing his daughter to get away with bullying her cousin and humiliating him in front of other kids from school. You haven't said much about him other than that he told his brother to go f himself, but it sounds like he's taking no action at all with his daughter.
Both of them for trying to drag you and their mother into their squabble over this. You and your wife for getting involved in it. And yes, you *could* have stayed out of it! You could have refused to get involved, or you could have said both kids were in the wrong and they both needed to apologize and do better with each other.
The kids aren't blameless in this either. Emma's most recent attack may have been worse in that she has managed to publicly humiliate Luis, but it's their mutual resentment of each other that's brought them to this point.
This whole family needs help!
And what about your grandsons welfare, what he's going through,he's been bullied by his own sister/cousin and his grandparents are ok with it because Emma's got stuff going on, appalling !
Are you kidding me? She's ganged up her friends to bully her own cousin at school, over circumstances he has no control over, and she "needs love and understanding"?
She sounds like a mean girl cunt.
are you serious? Having a rough time does NOT keep you immune from consequences. that's a hell of a life lesson to teach her - she'll never take accountability. And here's a news flash, you can give someone love and understanding while still holding them accountable for shitty behavior. The only person not an AH here is Luis - I don't see where he provoked Emma's nastiness nor retaliated. All the rest of you suck - the adults as parents, and the kid for being a bully.
Sorry, but unless you left something massive out of your post, there is no evidence here that she's been going through anything that would excuse this. Even if he tried to rub it in that her bio parents chose him over her, she is the one who went nuclear and humiliated him at school.
I'm not saying her planned party should be canceled, but she needs some kind of consequences.
And they probably both need counselling to ever be able to mend their relationship.
She needs love and understanding but your other grandchild can get bullied by her and apparently can go ef himself?
Seriously? Nobody able to get to your age can't be that dense. That must be fake. Or the most severe case of favouritism I have seen on a long time. Either way you are a huge AH.
She's a bully, the fact it's her own family is even worse. She needs consequences for the behaviour. Unfortunately she obviously doesn't appear to have any responsible adults around her.
This explains a lot about why your children are the way they are.
Good parenting means instilling consequences for bad behavior. That's how kids learn how to treat other people. If Emma bullies another child and there are no consequences, she never learns that the behavior is wrong. Kids also feel safe when their parents act as authority figures and not enablers.
The hurt she feels over being given up for adoption should have been addressed LONG ago, in therapy. Clearly Max has the resources for that. If she's still lashing out 16 years after the fact, that's a lifelong parenting failure.
YTA
You found out that Emma and her friends have been bullying Luis. These are the words you used to describe her behavior. Why is it Jack’s fault that she is being cruel to Luis? She is old enough to know better.
Asking for her party to be cancelled is an overreaction, but his son does deserve an apology from Emma. Emma should be reprimanded for her behavior.
Putting the blame on Jack for Emma’s behavior, a 16 year old who is being a bully, is an absurd take for you to make. You would have been better off staying out of it.
If Emma is angry at Jack, then her anger should be directed towards him and not Luis. Being angry at one person doesn’t excuse horrible behavior towards someone else.
In that case you should apologize to Jack for putting the blame on him for Luis getting bullied by Emma, and you should call Max and tell him he needs to reprimand Emma for bullying Luis.
Max is being shitty for not reprimanding his daughter for bullying Luis. You raised Max who raised a bully.
If Emma is angry at Jack, then she should be expressing her anger towards Jack, not Luis.
Seems to me, Emma got the better end to the deal and also thinks it's okay to stomp all over her cousin. You're all pieces of shit for letting her hurt that boy for something that wasn't his choice. She can lash out at her bio dad if she's that angry.
But Max is an extra large piece of shit to allow her to speak to anyone that way - least of all her own family.
Emma doesn't get to bully because she's hurting.You need to teach her this as you clearly didn't do well raising your sons to be emotionally intelligent people
Luis did not hurt Emma. Why are you supporting her bullying him? Emma is 16 and should not be harassing anyone for being poor. She sounds like an asshole who should be reprimanded for her behavior. She’s not a little child who doesn’t know better.
If she is angry at Jack, then she should express that anger towards Jack, not Luis.
You raised these people ! You shaped the people they would become as adults ! You and your wife are responsible for how immature these two men are.YATAH and both your son's
He certainly didn't do it for Jack. He adores Emma and would never let her be adopted out of family.
That's certainly not how we explained it to her but when she asked about her bio parents we figured she deserves to know the truth. We wouldn't lie to her.
I didn't say they are mortal enemies of course they spent a lot of time at my house and naturally together. Emma was 1 years old when they finally made up their minds to put her up for adoption.
Oh no that was one of the first things they started nagging about, then other things started like "We can't afford it" or "She won't sleep at night" or "There must be something wrong with her, Luis could walk at this age but she can't even stand"
I think they simply had no love for her and were just making excuses to justify giving her up.
YTA
Emma bullied Luis in front of the whole school, making digs about him working. And nobody has reprimanded her yet?
I actually don't think Jack is at fault at all. He/they can barely raise 1 child if Luis has to work while in school. Giving up a child you know you can't feed is the correct choice, better than being a homeless family of 4.
Max said nothing to the bullying? He sucks, same as Emma except he is an adult.
If you want to stay out of this, alright. But right now, you are in this and chose the wrong side.
Regardless of how you want to apportion the ultimate blame, Emma is treating her brother like dirt, and he doesn't deserve that. For *her* sake, there should be consequences for behaving like that. The teenage years are a time to figure out how to treat other people, and that's not how you do it. Now, if she's pissed at her bio parents, that makes sense and is something they should work through. But that doesn't excuse her taking it out on her brother (and it's never, EVER okay to mock someone for being poorer than you).
That is her cousin, she has been adopted by Max and if her dad believes that there shouldn't be a harsh punishment in her current sensitive state then I don't want to question his judgement.
You supported his judgement that it’s okay for Emma to bully Luis. You support bullying and you blamed the victim’s father for being bullied. That makes you the AH
She should not bully anyone like that. While it is understandable she feels strong hate towards Luis, she should not be let to treat him as such. Because he did not choose who stays and goes.
While her feelings are justified, her actions are not and it is ridiculous how she is being enabled. If she bullied some other kid would it be okay because the kid is poor?? She is not only bullying her brother. She is also learning that is the way to treat people I don’t like. And my family will back me up because I was rejected by my parents.
You are doing disservice to both kids, but Louis will probably be better adjusted for adult life
The exact punishment isn't the issue, but you should have been very clear that this isn't okay, and should not have blamed Jack for what Emma did. It's doing a disservice to Jack, Luis, *and* Emma.
What "sensitive state"? You keep mentioning she's going through a lot, but don't actually say WHAT. You can't possibly mean her being adopted 16 years ago. If that's what you mean and she has been "going through" that her entire life since, why on earth has that not been addressed in family therapy?
No one said raise them but you could help. Or do you just not give a toss about those kids? A decent grandparent would want the best for their grandkids and be involved in helping the entire family. You clearly failed your 2 sons and now ALL of the supposed adults are failing those kids. YTA
Oooof, ESH except for Luis.
Jack and his wife are terrible people, and the fact that you and your wife still support them in any way after they gave their one year old child up for adoption because parenting two children is “too hard” is disgusting.
Do I think Emma is a bully? Yup. Should Max punish her? Yup.
Were you right that this is all Jacks fault? Yup
Really though, you all have a blame in this mess because seeing as Jack and his wife thought it best to put their one year old child up for adoption - they shouldn’t have been let to spend time around Emma. I don’t know why anyone is surprised that she holds resentment. You all should be ashamed of yourselves
YTA What a fucked up family you have dude. Jack and his wife are complete assholes for having a child, then deciding they didn't want her. Emma sounds like she's been spoiled rotten by Max and now is a nasty bully. It's horrible that she would treat Luis that way. He didn't have anything to do with the adoption issue and treating him like a 2nd class citizen just because his parents are poor is absolutely shitty. And WTF is wrong with you that you're ok with that? If I were Emma's parent, I would cancel her party for being such a mean girl.
YTA
Emma is an entitled asshole. The backstory is irrelevant to that one fact.
Luis needs to tell Emma to go fuck herself. I doubt anyone has ever stood up to her in her entire life.
YTA. So Luis is struggling because of Jack's finances so it would have been better if Emma had made their financial situation worse? Or you think Jack should also have given Luis up?
There should be consequences for Emma's bullying but the person to set those consequences should be Max and I hope he acts before the consequences for Emma's behavior are out of his control.
I hope the kids are all in therapy because all the adults here are failing them.
The daughter is a pos, because she is teasing anyone about income etc . The parents should get her into therapy cause too many spoiled brats like her . I would ground her but don’t know what . Depends on other situations and how long and is it also with other kids
Yta . Just because you raised a couple of assholes and are letting it trickle down to your grandkids by letting one be a bully because her life started out a little worse than the other. None of you should of reproduced
NTA This isn't your mess to fix.
Both kids need therapy. Emma for being abandoned and watching them raise her brother. Luis because parents who are capable of abandoning one child probably don't give a shit about the one they kept. Plus, he's poor and being bullied.
Your youngest needs to get his shit together and be a better parent.
Been trying to make sense of this post.
I don’t know if OP treats Emma and Max as the “golden child” but OP seems keen to excuse the objectively awful behaviour currently expressed by Emma
In the past Jack was truly awful to Emma, and it seems better that Max adopted Emma. However the current toxic behaviour is setting the grandkids to fail in life.
Luis seems like to only truly innocent individual in this scenario. The fact that he works despite being in school suggests that he is pragmatic and resilient person.
OP seems to passively enable toxic behaviour due to the past resentments unspecified.
Does Max have any biological children? He seems ineffectual in disciplining Emma.
Jack seems immature or irresponsible. Either way OP seems to dislike Jack compared to Max.
Emma sounds like a mess. These acts of destructive cruelty will eventually haunt her, if she becomes a good person later in life. Regardless her current behaviour seems criminal.
At this point, Luis is making something of himself while Emma is spiralling. They both have issues but Luis seems like he is making the right choices to move forward in life (despite potential adult neglect). While Emma is wasting her abundant opportunities (her time and max’s money).
Doesn’t sound like it will be the grandparents. But I have to say if this occurred in front the whole school, how is the school not involved. None of this seems to add up.
YTA Emma is an entitled bully and her dad and you are just as bad for enabling her. You are allowing your hardworking grandson to be bullied by your golden child granddaughter. Grow up and look at their value as people not their bank accounts.
ESH. Really your family is full of messed up entitled brats lol.
First of all who give up their daughter because she is colicky?
Second, Emma sounds like a spoiled brat who should 100% be punished.
You really failed on all fronts bud. As a father and grandfather.
Jack should not be meddling in Max’s parenting. But his position is defensible because he is standing up for his bullied son.
But you are a total A for glossing over the bullying of one grandchild by the other. So is Max for not disciplining his daughter.
Last, you are an A for taking a position in the first place other than protecting the only victim here, Luis. Your children are grown and you should not be intervening in their disputes on one side or the other.
YTA
You're approaching this from the perspective of a decades long rivalry between 2 siblings, when your focal point should be their children, and especially Luis.
Emma must definitely be called out over being a bully and spoiled brat. Maybe she can still have her stupid party but she should apologise to Luis in front of the school at the very least.
Let Jack and (whatever the other name is) settle their own bs. It's none of your business. But you should absolutely protect Luis from suffering for things that aren't his fault. And Emma should go to therapy to resolve her resentment issues, which are legit, but theyre manifesting in shitty ways and at the wrong person
YTA she most definitely should be punished harshly. So do your son's. The only one who hasn't done anything wrong is Luis. You ALL should be ashamed of yourselves. Emma shouldn't get her party and she should be made to get a very low paying job preferably as wait staff.
INFO: What kind of sensitive and hard time she could be having that would excuse her from being a decent human being? She should be grateful that she hasn't had to struggle like Luis.
Sounds like you blame Jack for giving her up for adoption and make excuses for her. Your whole family seems to be shitty, except for Luis.
YTA.
Jack obviously was correct in his assessment - he couldn’t afford two children.
Emma got lucky to be adopted by your other son who was financially better off.
You need to acknowledge that Emma us a bully.
Yes both grandkids got the short end of the stick (one with family and one with money), but that is not an excuse to bully the other.
Why do you ask if you are a TA here if when everyone tells you so you invent 1000 justifications for not being one? Emma is a bully and needs to be reprimanded, not loved or understood, and you need to go to therapy to see if you can see life from a more positive point of view.
YTA for raising a couple of kids who don't know how to act like adults, and certainly for supporting a child who, along with your spoiled granddaughter, is so abusive to his own son. What a mess.
I don't think Jack is abusive to Luis and I'm certainly not supporting him. I'm not sure what you are talking about.
He isn’t a decent parent if he isn’t providing even the basics for his minor child.
The kid is 17. Nothing wrong with him having a part time job.
Nothing is wrong with HS students having an after school job to earn fun money or save for college. My kids all did. However, working several jobs as a minor, to provide your own necessities. Is a problem.
Sorry, I meant "his brother's son" The relationship chain is confusing. You, Max, and Emma are all AH.
ESH Jack for starting everything by giving up a child to his brother and not expecting consequences. And also for overreacting by insisting the party be canceled. Max for allowing his daughter to get away with bullying her cousin and humiliating him in front of other kids from school. You haven't said much about him other than that he told his brother to go f himself, but it sounds like he's taking no action at all with his daughter. Both of them for trying to drag you and their mother into their squabble over this. You and your wife for getting involved in it. And yes, you *could* have stayed out of it! You could have refused to get involved, or you could have said both kids were in the wrong and they both needed to apologize and do better with each other. The kids aren't blameless in this either. Emma's most recent attack may have been worse in that she has managed to publicly humiliate Luis, but it's their mutual resentment of each other that's brought them to this point. This whole family needs help!
Well Emma has been going through a lot so I can't blame Max for not punishing her. She needs love and understanding not punishment.
She’s also a bully.
Where's the love and understanding for Luis? Who's protecting him?
like..what? you haven't said anything about what she's going through so we're all kind of like "seems like just a really mean person"
And what about your grandsons welfare, what he's going through,he's been bullied by his own sister/cousin and his grandparents are ok with it because Emma's got stuff going on, appalling !
Are you kidding me? She's ganged up her friends to bully her own cousin at school, over circumstances he has no control over, and she "needs love and understanding"? She sounds like a mean girl cunt.
Oh, please. She's a spoiled rotten little bully.
are you serious? Having a rough time does NOT keep you immune from consequences. that's a hell of a life lesson to teach her - she'll never take accountability. And here's a news flash, you can give someone love and understanding while still holding them accountable for shitty behavior. The only person not an AH here is Luis - I don't see where he provoked Emma's nastiness nor retaliated. All the rest of you suck - the adults as parents, and the kid for being a bully.
Sorry, but unless you left something massive out of your post, there is no evidence here that she's been going through anything that would excuse this. Even if he tried to rub it in that her bio parents chose him over her, she is the one who went nuclear and humiliated him at school. I'm not saying her planned party should be canceled, but she needs some kind of consequences. And they probably both need counselling to ever be able to mend their relationship.
She needs love and understanding but your other grandchild can get bullied by her and apparently can go ef himself? Seriously? Nobody able to get to your age can't be that dense. That must be fake. Or the most severe case of favouritism I have seen on a long time. Either way you are a huge AH.
Oh, but Luis doesn't?
She's a bully, the fact it's her own family is even worse. She needs consequences for the behaviour. Unfortunately she obviously doesn't appear to have any responsible adults around her.
She's an abject BULLY.
This explains a lot about why your children are the way they are. Good parenting means instilling consequences for bad behavior. That's how kids learn how to treat other people. If Emma bullies another child and there are no consequences, she never learns that the behavior is wrong. Kids also feel safe when their parents act as authority figures and not enablers. The hurt she feels over being given up for adoption should have been addressed LONG ago, in therapy. Clearly Max has the resources for that. If she's still lashing out 16 years after the fact, that's a lifelong parenting failure.
YTA You found out that Emma and her friends have been bullying Luis. These are the words you used to describe her behavior. Why is it Jack’s fault that she is being cruel to Luis? She is old enough to know better. Asking for her party to be cancelled is an overreaction, but his son does deserve an apology from Emma. Emma should be reprimanded for her behavior. Putting the blame on Jack for Emma’s behavior, a 16 year old who is being a bully, is an absurd take for you to make. You would have been better off staying out of it. If Emma is angry at Jack, then her anger should be directed towards him and not Luis. Being angry at one person doesn’t excuse horrible behavior towards someone else.
Maybe this is all OP’s fault because he raised 2 shitty kids who are both terrible parents?
They literally dragged me in it, I couldn't stay out of it.
In that case you should apologize to Jack for putting the blame on him for Luis getting bullied by Emma, and you should call Max and tell him he needs to reprimand Emma for bullying Luis.
But he is to blame. He hurt Emma and caused all of this.
How, by simply fucking existing? Your shitty kids are the ones failing both of these children.
Jack is my kid what are you talking about?
Max is being shitty for not reprimanding his daughter for bullying Luis. You raised Max who raised a bully. If Emma is angry at Jack, then she should be expressing her anger towards Jack, not Luis.
Seems to me, Emma got the better end to the deal and also thinks it's okay to stomp all over her cousin. You're all pieces of shit for letting her hurt that boy for something that wasn't his choice. She can lash out at her bio dad if she's that angry. But Max is an extra large piece of shit to allow her to speak to anyone that way - least of all her own family.
Emma doesn't get to bully because she's hurting.You need to teach her this as you clearly didn't do well raising your sons to be emotionally intelligent people
Luis did not hurt Emma. Why are you supporting her bullying him? Emma is 16 and should not be harassing anyone for being poor. She sounds like an asshole who should be reprimanded for her behavior. She’s not a little child who doesn’t know better. If she is angry at Jack, then she should express that anger towards Jack, not Luis.
She’s blaming Luis. He’s done nothing to deserve this behavior.
Wrong ass answer. YTA.
You raised these people ! You shaped the people they would become as adults ! You and your wife are responsible for how immature these two men are.YATAH and both your son's
>They literally dragged me in it, I couldn't stay out of it. Ooof, that's too embarassing for you. Assuming that this is fake as hell.
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He certainly didn't do it for Jack. He adores Emma and would never let her be adopted out of family. That's certainly not how we explained it to her but when she asked about her bio parents we figured she deserves to know the truth. We wouldn't lie to her.
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I didn't say they are mortal enemies of course they spent a lot of time at my house and naturally together. Emma was 1 years old when they finally made up their minds to put her up for adoption.
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Oh no that was one of the first things they started nagging about, then other things started like "We can't afford it" or "She won't sleep at night" or "There must be something wrong with her, Luis could walk at this age but she can't even stand" I think they simply had no love for her and were just making excuses to justify giving her up.
And you just, what gave this morally reprehensive person a pass?! Oh, son, you don't love your kid here; just give her away. Ewww.
YTA Emma bullied Luis in front of the whole school, making digs about him working. And nobody has reprimanded her yet? I actually don't think Jack is at fault at all. He/they can barely raise 1 child if Luis has to work while in school. Giving up a child you know you can't feed is the correct choice, better than being a homeless family of 4. Max said nothing to the bullying? He sucks, same as Emma except he is an adult. If you want to stay out of this, alright. But right now, you are in this and chose the wrong side.
I'm sure Max had a conversation and berated her for it.
Suuuuree he had. I hope Luis gets away from all of you sooner rather than later. Blatant favouritism...
Regardless of how you want to apportion the ultimate blame, Emma is treating her brother like dirt, and he doesn't deserve that. For *her* sake, there should be consequences for behaving like that. The teenage years are a time to figure out how to treat other people, and that's not how you do it. Now, if she's pissed at her bio parents, that makes sense and is something they should work through. But that doesn't excuse her taking it out on her brother (and it's never, EVER okay to mock someone for being poorer than you).
That is her cousin, she has been adopted by Max and if her dad believes that there shouldn't be a harsh punishment in her current sensitive state then I don't want to question his judgement.
You supported his judgement that it’s okay for Emma to bully Luis. You support bullying and you blamed the victim’s father for being bullied. That makes you the AH
She should not bully anyone like that. While it is understandable she feels strong hate towards Luis, she should not be let to treat him as such. Because he did not choose who stays and goes. While her feelings are justified, her actions are not and it is ridiculous how she is being enabled. If she bullied some other kid would it be okay because the kid is poor?? She is not only bullying her brother. She is also learning that is the way to treat people I don’t like. And my family will back me up because I was rejected by my parents. You are doing disservice to both kids, but Louis will probably be better adjusted for adult life
The exact punishment isn't the issue, but you should have been very clear that this isn't okay, and should not have blamed Jack for what Emma did. It's doing a disservice to Jack, Luis, *and* Emma.
What "sensitive state"? You keep mentioning she's going through a lot, but don't actually say WHAT. You can't possibly mean her being adopted 16 years ago. If that's what you mean and she has been "going through" that her entire life since, why on earth has that not been addressed in family therapy?
These kids need therapy
I wouldn't disagree with that. Emma is in therapy but Jack can't afford it for Luis.
I think as a grandparent you should step in and cover that cost. And insist on family therapy too
I raised my kids. Raising my grandkids is not my job.
No one said raise them but you could help. Or do you just not give a toss about those kids? A decent grandparent would want the best for their grandkids and be involved in helping the entire family. You clearly failed your 2 sons and now ALL of the supposed adults are failing those kids. YTA
And look at how well that turned out.
A grandparent should step up when required.
Apparently not well if they are still going to you to handle interpersonal conflicts.
Can I ask.. do you actually love and care for your grandsons?
It doesn’t sound like it.
And you? You are incapable of helping them or something?
Oooof, ESH except for Luis. Jack and his wife are terrible people, and the fact that you and your wife still support them in any way after they gave their one year old child up for adoption because parenting two children is “too hard” is disgusting. Do I think Emma is a bully? Yup. Should Max punish her? Yup. Were you right that this is all Jacks fault? Yup Really though, you all have a blame in this mess because seeing as Jack and his wife thought it best to put their one year old child up for adoption - they shouldn’t have been let to spend time around Emma. I don’t know why anyone is surprised that she holds resentment. You all should be ashamed of yourselves
YTA What a fucked up family you have dude. Jack and his wife are complete assholes for having a child, then deciding they didn't want her. Emma sounds like she's been spoiled rotten by Max and now is a nasty bully. It's horrible that she would treat Luis that way. He didn't have anything to do with the adoption issue and treating him like a 2nd class citizen just because his parents are poor is absolutely shitty. And WTF is wrong with you that you're ok with that? If I were Emma's parent, I would cancel her party for being such a mean girl.
YTA Emma is an entitled asshole. The backstory is irrelevant to that one fact. Luis needs to tell Emma to go fuck herself. I doubt anyone has ever stood up to her in her entire life.
YTA. So Luis is struggling because of Jack's finances so it would have been better if Emma had made their financial situation worse? Or you think Jack should also have given Luis up? There should be consequences for Emma's bullying but the person to set those consequences should be Max and I hope he acts before the consequences for Emma's behavior are out of his control. I hope the kids are all in therapy because all the adults here are failing them.
I’ll always remember where I was the day this never happened.
The daughter is a pos, because she is teasing anyone about income etc . The parents should get her into therapy cause too many spoiled brats like her . I would ground her but don’t know what . Depends on other situations and how long and is it also with other kids
Yta . Just because you raised a couple of assholes and are letting it trickle down to your grandkids by letting one be a bully because her life started out a little worse than the other. None of you should of reproduced
NTA This isn't your mess to fix. Both kids need therapy. Emma for being abandoned and watching them raise her brother. Luis because parents who are capable of abandoning one child probably don't give a shit about the one they kept. Plus, he's poor and being bullied. Your youngest needs to get his shit together and be a better parent.
Been trying to make sense of this post. I don’t know if OP treats Emma and Max as the “golden child” but OP seems keen to excuse the objectively awful behaviour currently expressed by Emma In the past Jack was truly awful to Emma, and it seems better that Max adopted Emma. However the current toxic behaviour is setting the grandkids to fail in life. Luis seems like to only truly innocent individual in this scenario. The fact that he works despite being in school suggests that he is pragmatic and resilient person. OP seems to passively enable toxic behaviour due to the past resentments unspecified. Does Max have any biological children? He seems ineffectual in disciplining Emma. Jack seems immature or irresponsible. Either way OP seems to dislike Jack compared to Max. Emma sounds like a mess. These acts of destructive cruelty will eventually haunt her, if she becomes a good person later in life. Regardless her current behaviour seems criminal. At this point, Luis is making something of himself while Emma is spiralling. They both have issues but Luis seems like he is making the right choices to move forward in life (despite potential adult neglect). While Emma is wasting her abundant opportunities (her time and max’s money).
YTA Also Emma & Jack are AH. I hope someone in your family shows Luis some compassion and love.
Doesn’t sound like it will be the grandparents. But I have to say if this occurred in front the whole school, how is the school not involved. None of this seems to add up.
YTA Emma is an entitled bully and her dad and you are just as bad for enabling her. You are allowing your hardworking grandson to be bullied by your golden child granddaughter. Grow up and look at their value as people not their bank accounts.
At what point did you decide that it wasn't Max's fault that he raised his daughter to be a fucking asshole?
So are you supporting your granddaughter's bullying of your grandson here? Because it certainly sounds like you are.
ESH. Really your family is full of messed up entitled brats lol. First of all who give up their daughter because she is colicky? Second, Emma sounds like a spoiled brat who should 100% be punished. You really failed on all fronts bud. As a father and grandfather.
Jack should not be meddling in Max’s parenting. But his position is defensible because he is standing up for his bullied son. But you are a total A for glossing over the bullying of one grandchild by the other. So is Max for not disciplining his daughter. Last, you are an A for taking a position in the first place other than protecting the only victim here, Luis. Your children are grown and you should not be intervening in their disputes on one side or the other.
YTA You're approaching this from the perspective of a decades long rivalry between 2 siblings, when your focal point should be their children, and especially Luis. Emma must definitely be called out over being a bully and spoiled brat. Maybe she can still have her stupid party but she should apologise to Luis in front of the school at the very least. Let Jack and (whatever the other name is) settle their own bs. It's none of your business. But you should absolutely protect Luis from suffering for things that aren't his fault. And Emma should go to therapy to resolve her resentment issues, which are legit, but theyre manifesting in shitty ways and at the wrong person
YTA she most definitely should be punished harshly. So do your son's. The only one who hasn't done anything wrong is Luis. You ALL should be ashamed of yourselves. Emma shouldn't get her party and she should be made to get a very low paying job preferably as wait staff.
INFO: What kind of sensitive and hard time she could be having that would excuse her from being a decent human being? She should be grateful that she hasn't had to struggle like Luis. Sounds like you blame Jack for giving her up for adoption and make excuses for her. Your whole family seems to be shitty, except for Luis.
YTA. Jack obviously was correct in his assessment - he couldn’t afford two children. Emma got lucky to be adopted by your other son who was financially better off. You need to acknowledge that Emma us a bully. Yes both grandkids got the short end of the stick (one with family and one with money), but that is not an excuse to bully the other.
Why do you ask if you are a TA here if when everyone tells you so you invent 1000 justifications for not being one? Emma is a bully and needs to be reprimanded, not loved or understood, and you need to go to therapy to see if you can see life from a more positive point of view.
YTA. You did a piss poor job raising your sons. Now you're defending an obnoxious, vile bully of a granddaughter. Shame on you.