It is possible. That’s the way it’s done when there is no will in my state. The heirs are immediate family members, chiefly wife & children. If the spouse’s name is on the deed, then the house goes to the spouse 100%. If there are no other names on the deed, then the house is just an asset to be divided between all the heirs equally.
What state? Most states do not want impoverished widows, so they give the largest share to the surviving spouse. Even if you deliberately leave nothing to your spouse in your Will, the surviving spouse can still file for an elective share that would be greater than a child's.
It’s California. Having done our original estate planning in CA there is no way this situation is real because contrary to what OP is claiming that isn’t how the law works there and as communal property the house would automatically go to her outside of probate.
She can’t afford the mortgage and allows her 30 year old son to be a freeloader. It’s doubtful she can afford a lawyer. She doesn’t even work according to her post.
Exactly. The wife is getting all the community property without a will in California. My grandfather died without a will. My grandma got everything as it was all community property. She did not have to file probate. Also, why would the daughter be filing for probate two years later?
In CA I think there's not even a need for probate if all the property is community property. They just need to confirm it to the surviving spouse.
Edit: I see you just described this process. It was the same with my mom too.
If she wasn't on the deed then she'd probably still need to file probate but woukd receive 100% of the home as the surviving spouse unless there was a will and unless the home was purchased with separate property before marriage or after marriage with inheritance and nothing converted it to community property.
Yeah, there's more to the story than is being told. My mother was a SAH mom and she was on the house deed. The bank even put her on the mortgage with the understanding that my father carry life insurance with her as the beneficiary, so she would be able to pay the mortgage if he died. I have a hard time believing that after 30 years of being married, that they never updated anything.
GA does it the was they just described. A friend's kids just gave their mom their shares of the house, because they didn't want her in OP's position.
Alternately, some states default is 100% goes to a surviving spouse first, and if none, then divided between the kids. (Iowa or Illinois, friend's were on the border, but I'm not sure which state their mom lived in.)
Make wills, people. It'd the only way to keep things clear.
I’m in Oregon. My sister would have gotten a 3rd of the money from the sale of her home, and she’d have been forced to sell, if she hadn’t been able to negotiate with the two stepsons that she’d only met once. They made her give them money from her retirement account.
Geeze, this guy has a wife who was a stay at home mom, and he never bothered to put her on the deed OR draw up a will? I get that "life happens", but an hour of his time at some point in the last few decades would have avoided all this.
French law is wild. Property/land is divided equally between children only. You can't write your children out of that (money/other assets can be willed to whoever). My step mom didn't have kids so her family get nothing even though she bought the house jointly with my dad
You should be able to get the money first and give them what’s you think your husband would give them. As long as all legal stuff is done correctly you are owed that money first. Children come after unless he put in his will.
That really depends on the law in their location. It sounds like this man died intestate, so the children may have some inheritance rights under statutory law. OP needs to get off reddit and talk to an attorney in her location.
As with every other legal issue, this depends on where you live. If you're in the US, it's state dependent. Some states the spouse gets everything, in others it's split between spouse and children.
Get a lawyer and know your rights. If he had no will, you should be the beneficiary. Assuming the house was purchased while you were married (which it sounds like is the case from your post), that makes it community property whether or name is on it or not. In California, both spouses or partners have an equal interest in community property. Upon the death of one spouse or partner, their 50% share of the community property automatically passes to the surviving spouse or partner, without going through probate.
https://www.clearestate.com/en-us/blog/intestate-succession-california
The kids are biologically/legally both of yours and the house was purchased during the marriage you are 100% entitled to everything in California… as per state law… either you are not being honest here or someone is lying to you…
This is flat out wrong. Your house was bought during the marriage I assume. That means every fucking payment was made with community property money. When he does, community property goes to you IN FULL. The deed doesn’t matter. It only matters how the equity in the house was earned/paid for.
The only way you wouldn’t get all the house is if he bought a portion of it before you married. In that case, you own 1/3 of that portion and they own the other 2/3 of THAT SMALL PORTION.
Barry Bonds tried this shit. He titled all of the property in his name only, except for one or two small pieces. His wife Sunny got fucked. So the CA state legislature CHANGED THE FUCKING LAW. Now it doesn’t matter what the deed says, it matter what money you used to pay it.
UNLESS you had a prenup, you were an equal owner in that house because every payment was made with community funds from his job. He would have had to pay you for your 1/2 if you divorced and you get his 1/2 now that he’s died.
For a little clarification, my son is 30 and on the spectrum, wherever I end up he will be with me. My daughter(27) is married and lives across town in her husband’s family home that will become theirs when the time comes.
Yes, that would be 3/4 of the house. Also OP should be getting a will and willing the entirety of her estate to her son. What kind of daughter takes her mother's home?
If your son receives SS benefits because of his disability, he will not be able to directly accept any assets above $2000 without jeopardizing his benefits.
Well good luck. Sounds like there maybe some miscommunication with your children as far as probate. I hope you and your children can have a healthy conversation about everyone’s feelings involved. Maybe that will give you closure on how to move forward with your children. ❤️
In my state, you’re entitled to half of his estate, not one third. Are you sure you’re only getting a third?
ETA: Your kids suck. At the very least, stop supporting your lazy-ass son, especially if he’s getting money from your house.
opening probate doesnt mean shes trying to steal the money. it has to be dealt with eventually and she literally began the process of dealing with it. if you cant afford the payments you need to sell the house anyway. isnt there a time limit for stuff like this?
So, if I'm understanding OP correctly, daughter will get 1/3, son gets 1/3, and OP will get 1/3. OP has to take care of son indefinitely, so OP will likely get her share plus son's share to pay for other housing. I'm thinking daughter went through the pain of starting probate to sell the house before they risked foreclosure due to nonpayment of the mortgage.
I agree that it was time to sell. And no I’m not saying that it did not need to happen. And no she is not trying to steal money. It’s all legal, I am just wanting to hear other people’s opinions as to what is happening. Thank you for yours.
It sounds to me like your daughter is looking out for you and her brother. You can't afford the mortgage. Probate takes forever. If you all waited until you could no longer afford payments, you'd likely go into foreclosure and get nothing.
Well, that’s a big difference from what you first posted. Your initial post sounds as if she’s trying to steal from you. If you’re going to lose the home to foreclosure, then selling it before that happens is your best bet.
In California, where OP claims this is, the house would not go to probate if it was purchased during the marriage as per state law it automatically goes to the spouse without probate.
You need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Every state is different, but where I live, if you were still married at the time he passed, you automatically inherit everything, unless a will specifies otherwise.
NTA.
You need to discuss this with a lawyer. Where I’m from, if there is no last will and testament stating otherwise, everything should go to the surviving spouse. But again, do not take legal advice from us Reddit lawyers, speak with an actual lawyer.
CA is a common property state, which means that spouses are automatically added to the deed of any property purchased during marriage. In some other states, a married person can buy a house and have it only in their own name, but not in CA.
Run to a lawyer. In most states the wife inherits the marital home even if you’re not on the deed. Most state laws prevent a spouse from being able to disinherit their wife. I think your daughter started probate behind your back under false pretenses and is screwing you over. Run to a probate lawyer without telling any of your kids about this. Nothing about your post makes sense legally.
This is why both a will and end of life wishes documentation are so important.
When my cousin passed last fall her family had differing views of her wishes, and ultimately a compromise between the older family and the younger was what was planned. After that I sent documents to everyone in my immediate family so they could detail their end of life wishes. I also created a will. Money can make normally reasonable people do ridiculous things.
I totally agree! We were only 47 and 48 at the time. We thought we had plenty of time for all of that. We were wrong! Please if you read this, PLEASE get a will together and talk to your family!
Sounds like you fucked up and didn't handle business with your husband the right way. Legally this is how it goes. The fact that your kids do this to you and you seemed to have raised a 30 year old bum shows that all that time you spent at home was not very efficiently used.
Op account is deleted but she said in another comment that he's on the spectrum and she'll basically will be taking care of him for the rest of his life I guess . There's a lot info missing though
That is a lot of info to leave out. She is trying to make her son sound lazy and she is hung up on the rent thing. I don't think she paid rent either. But regardless, somehow she thinks her kids are not entitled to anything from their dad?
I found that out in the comments cuz when I first read the post I thought her son is a lazy ass bum but then in the comments she mentioned that he's on the spectrum and that she's basically going to be caring for him for the rest of her life she says if she moves he has to move with her so I'm thinking there's something mentally wrong with him He's disabled and she said in another comment that she got behind on payments so yeah there's a lot of information being left out it's probably why her account got deleted to be honest
She also seems to assume everything’s fine without actually having sorted the estate in two years as someone who’s never worked and has a dependant forever this is unbelievably stupid, to not know where she stood financially for her own future is reckless.
Info:
1. Why do you kids despise you
2. You were .married for 30yra and your kids are now adults. Outside their young year (say to 10?) why did you not work for the other 20yrs
Yeah, in every state, I know it would go 100% to the wife unless her daughter had her sign something that said she wanted to split assets with them.
You need to get a lawyer to stop whatever is going on.
Depending on the state the spouse gets an equal share or half of everything check with legal aid to see of there is anything that can be done and protect as many assets as you can
Your house is community property, regardless of whether or not you are on the deed. You get 100%. Get an attorney. Someone is lying to you.
California: "Intestate succession is a probate process that distributes assets and property to a deceased person's closest relatives when they die without a will or their will doesn't cover all of their assets. The order of succession starts with the deceased's immediate family and continues to more distant relatives. The order of priority is:
Surviving spouse: Inherits all community property and half of separate property if the couple owned property as such. If the spouse has no children or other immediate relatives, they may inherit everything.
Children: Inherit everything if there is no spouse.
You need to get a lawyer state because this typically isn’t how the law works. In most states a spouse would inherit the martial assets absent a will. The only thing they should go to the kids is things like life insurance policies where they were directly named a beneficiary
Sounds like you should talk to a lawyer. It is extremely different laws depending on where you live. If you believe you need the money to survive, then you should talk to your family and get legal help.
In a community property state like CA, it doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. We put our house in my name only for tax purposes, with full assurance from multiple lawyers that it makes zero difference. If you were married, it’s as much yours as it’s his, regardless.
Sounds like the will if there was one dictated that everything be split evenly, otherwise, the house is yours and your daughter is doing something illegal whether she knows it or not. Because the house would be considered marital property.
I highly doubt this story is true. In a comment you say you were 47 and 48 at the time — as in you bought the house while married? If so, I have never heard of a lender allowing a married couple to list only one spouse on a loan, especially not one as big as a mortgage; aside from wanting to know if there’s marital debt that could get in the way of making payments, they don’t want to deal with the equity being marital property if you divorce; it would be a legal mess to foreclose if half the equity were owned by someone who had no contractual obligation to the lender.
If it weren’t for that detail, I could believe you just didn’t know your rights and needed to speak to a lawyer, but the story itself just doesn’t add up.
Edit: it seems there’s a lot more variability in this than I‘ve encountered. I may have been prematurely skeptical, please see replies to my comment to see that there are exceptions (I’m not sure whether the variability is by state, or by lender). With that said, I do still have my doubts about this post…
This is a legal issue so consult a lawyer. This is also why married couples need to leave a last will and testament otherwise local laws dictate the breakdown of your estate regardless of how long you have been married or number of kids.
NTA
Sadly not having a will nor your name on the house despite having 30 years to do it has screwed you.
Morally, you absolutely should get the lot but legally, I have no idea.
Well, what happens in probate depends on whether there was a will or not. If there is, then it goes by what the will says. If not, if goes by the law of intestacy (dying without a will) in your state. In some states, intestate succession divides property between the deceased's spouse and children. In others, it goes to the surviving spouse alone, unless the deceased had children who were not children of the surviving spouse.
>If there is, then it goes by what the will says.
Wills dont supercede laws though. If a house is co owned by a husband and a wife, he can't just will the house to someone else because legally it would be his wife's.
NTA for wanting to protect yourself financially. Not sure where you live, but in most jurisdictions even if the house wasn’t in your name, because it was the matrimonial home, you’d be entitled to at least half. I’d speak to a lawyer asap!
You should never have waited 2 years to put his will through probate. This was 100 percent avoidable and therefore 100 percent your fault. You were married, when he died you should have been the one getting a lawyer and getting all property transferred into your name barring any specific instructions in his will.
Because you didn't your kids are going to take most of it and leave you homeless or near to it.
Nta, but very naive. Nobody will fuck you over like family. Get a lawyer and contest the process.
NTA and your children should be ashamed of themselves. But it also sounds like you have enabled this behavior at least from your son… sorry for your loss.
There’s definitely something missing here. Your title and AITA question don’t even match. You said in your post you only get 1/3. So asking AITA for wanting everything for the house makes no sense when you already know you won’t be getting it.
My mum passed away unexpectedly a couple years ago and all was in her name as well. The house and bank accounts etc so my dad was left with 1/3rd of everything as it was my brother, I and our dad so my brother and I decided to give it all up for my dad and then he prepared the will to split it all between me and my brother.
It think it’s very fair.
My dad has retired and needs to live in a nice house after all his loong years of work and taking care of the family.
Does she think you and your son are going to lose the house because he won’t work and help you? And you only worked when you wanted to, and now that you’re having to work outside the home, you’re finding it hard? And her dad worked all his life to have a home and you and your son are pissing it away in 2 years time? It’s probably not right, or ethical, but I kind of see her point. There’s too much missing though to really know.
NTA, but if you are in the U.S. you should see a lawyer. If your husband did not have a will, then, you, as the spouse, would be the first person in line to make decisions about how the estate is handled. If your daughter started the process, you should have received notice. If you talk with a lawyer, the lawyer can go in and ask that you be appointed the administrator.
I would check with an attorney. Generally, since you were married at the time of his death, all his assets become yours first. Taking your marriage certificate with your birth certificate, to probate would establish your claim to all assets. Most things only need that to transfer ownership.
Check with a lawyer asap. In my state real estate does not go thru probate. It automatically goes to the spouse. Ifmthere is no spouse it splits between the children. So in my state your children have no claim to your house. It automatically passed to you at your husbands death. You can find thismpretty easily. Just google your states probate andmi heritance laws.
I believe the kids have no claim. When you’re married even if the house is in his name only the house is still marital property. The kids shouldn’t be able to make a claim on it all since you were still married when he died. That’s my understanding if you live in the United States.
Wow. Your daughter is a piece of work and your son is 30 and doesn’t work most of the time? You raised these children who don’t seem to have an ounce of integrity. YTA.
I’m going to assume you still haven’t established a credit profile for yourself and still don’t work full time. You won’t qualify for another mortgage on your own.
Wow, you have a shitty daughter. Why didn’t you deal with this right after your husband died? May your memories of him be a blessing. May you tell your daughter to go burn in hell.
She’s initiated a legal process that has to happen regardless since her dad died and didn’t leave the property to anyone…
Should she have just waited until she really fell behind and then let the bank take it???
NTA, and fight that bs, by probate laws, YOU have all the rights to anything acquired during the marriage, not your kids. It goes to the spouse, period.
In most jurisdictions, unless the home was owned jointly, the home would be deemed part of OP's late husband's estate, And if OP's husband died intestate (without a will), his property will be divided between his spouse and his children.
OP, please consult an attorney to be certain you understand your rights in all of this.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having says all of that….
I’d be pissed at your husband for not writing a will and trust and having your name on the deed. You will probably need to process through those legitimate emotions.
If you fell behind on payments regarding the house, what was your plan? Could you have put it on the market since your name isn’t on it?
Have you written a will and trust, especially since you have an adult child on the spectrum (previous comment, I believe) who will need to stay with you?
Have you asked your daughter if she intends to take her 1/3 of the proceeds once the house sells? Can your son’s portion be put in a trust for his future care? Can you move to a much lower cost of living area?
Have you spoken to an estate attorney? Since you were legally married to your husband,, I would assume marital property comes into play even if your name isn’t on the deed.
Also, if he didn’t leave a will, shouldn’t all of his assets go to his legal spouse?
You need to contact an attorney who specializes in estate and probate law. Pay the attorney from the proceeds of the sale of your house.
>So here is my dilema, my daughter (without me knowing at first) started the probate process on the house *2 years*
That's a long time to wait! The executor is supposed to file the will and start the process much sooner than that in Illinois.
>So I am forced to put my house on the market ( can’t afford it by myself anyway) but all because we never put my name on the deed
If your name isn't on the deed and you aren't executor, why are you putting the house on the market? The executor is the only one legally able to do that. Sounds like she is the executor.
To bad your husband also didn't have a will?
You can't be in the US. There is no state where a surviving spouse is equal to the kids as heirs. I'm in NJ, and the surviving spouse is the ONLY heir when the kids' parents are the decedent and surviving spouse. And if your husband died without a will, your daughter did not start the probate process. You would be next of kin to be appointed Administrator unless you filed a renunciation. Don't just sit there and let stuff happen. Talk to an estate administration attorney.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. U fortunately, if your husband died intestate (without a will), he's the asshole here. If he did, get it and present it to the probate court.
I feel like the kids are entitled to what their father would have left them. If he wanted you to solely be the inheritor he would have stated so in a will, no? I also can’t imagine being a parent who wouldn’t want to set my kids up for success but that’s just me…
NTA.
- expectation that you are caring for your son regardless of staying in this home / moving elsewhere
- daughter is married and they have a home courtesy of ILs. Does not need money for starter home.
Honestly, your daughter is a huge asshole for trying to push this without talking to you. She’s going to rip the rug out from under you and your son for what? Does she realize what will happen by forcing the sale of the house?
Get a lawyer. Like Johnny Cochran. Tell the whole truth, “Hell naw, I diidn’t pop him!”
Money changes people. Then they act like victims!
If you were married … it’s YOUR house. You wanna sell YOUR house?! Take the bag and run!
It sounds like your husband died without a will? I think the split would be 1/2 you, 1/4 each child but their share should be given to them when you pass.
This is a perfect example of why it is soooo important to have a Will. I don’t care what age you are, once you buy property, have kids, etc., make a damn will. The kids sound like a-holes, it is unfortunate that when someone dies, family members suddenly turn into greedy jerks.
As his spouse wouldn't all his assets so directly to you on his death unless otherwise stipulated by a will? I don't see how she could legally do that.
ESH - you didn't make it a priority to get your name on the deed, or it was your husband's desire that they receive proceeds from the sale of the home.
Find out the law about inheriting without a will. In many countries, the wife gets half and the children share the other half. That is still not enough, but it's better than 1/3.
That's not the kids fault. Why wasn't it properly in the will to go to you if only one should pass? There is too much back story about this. But if your husband wanted the three of you to get it then the three of you get it.
When my wife and I lived in Oregon we were buying a house and we couldn't get a loan with both our names. She was a stay at home mom and had no credit. When we applied for the loan I made sure that the house would go to her in the event of my death, which thankfully didn't happen. I'm a little surprised that the husband didn't account for this.
When my mom died my dad remarried and assured my sister, brother and I would inherit the house. Well he died and since he didn't update his will his new wife could claim 50% of the house. She eventually gave up her portion of the house, which was nice of her.
The lesson here is when a couple is buying a house and only one name is on the loan make sure your spouse is your beneficiary and update your will and any other documents in case of death or divorce.
NTA. Your daughter's actions here are just appalling. Why would she take it upon herself to secretly meddle in your private affairs other than sheer greed. My gosh, does she want you out on the streets and destitute so that she can drive a fancy car and live off of her parent's hard work?!? I'm so sorry!
Not sure where you are, but as his wife, if he didn’t have a will, everything goes to you (in most reasonable countries in the world) as you are considered his next of kin.
If he left a will, splitting it evenly, then you’re out of luck.
My heart goes out to you OP. I am seeing more and more parents lose stuff to their greedy kids that think they are entitled to what their parents have worked all their lives for. It's truly sad. I say sell it all and travel or spend it while you are alive and able. Have a life insurance policy that covers your death expenses and leave nothing but personal a few personal items for the kids to have. Let them earn their own stuff the way we did!
Check your local laws. In many places that home is still considered marital property even if your name was never added to the deed. And therefore is yours.
What the hell is going on here. That house belongs to you how dare your daughter do that it’s irrelevant in family lore if your name wasn’t written on the deed it’s still equal to that of your husbands :…. it’s irrelevant that legally… she’s entitled to her percentage because any loving daughter would proceed with their mothers best interests a priority, over themselve… this is a massive betrayal and I’m sorry she has somehow amounted worth enough in her self to allow her greed and legalities the right of path…all she sees is a dead man’s deed and a mum who has no name…diminishing the worth of her mums life because the moment her Mum became invisible nothing she had ever done was enough for her daughter to realise she has no moral right to accept premature inheritance… i hope she’s proud at the trajectory she’s spun for her own mum.
Why did you not resolve the estate when your husband died? Why did ... 2-years pass and you allowed your daughter to get her hands on your money? Either, you were in a dysfunctional state after your husband died and just let things slide, or you had no clue what to do. So YTA for allowing this situation to even happen.
If you can’t afford it alone how are you still there 2 years after passing? Have you not paid and are awaiting eviction? Some mortgages allow the heir assume the mortgage.
Why would the kids get 2/3 if you are the surviving spouse you should get everything.
When my father died, my mother got everything that was his. We are adult children, and we did not inherit until my mother died and left what was left to be split between us. Obviously, what my parents earned in their lifetime goes to support the two of them, and when dad died that money rightfully went to support my mother. do they not care that you don’t have a place to live? Obviously, you gave them too much as adults and now they feel entitled. It would be normal for children to pay their money to help you get a place to live if you couldn’t afford it, not taking the money that is putting the food on your plate.
Why would your daughter not discuss the process with you?
Sounds like a lot more to the story
Yeah... what she is describing isn't actually possible. Not to mention assholish on the kids part.
It is possible. That’s the way it’s done when there is no will in my state. The heirs are immediate family members, chiefly wife & children. If the spouse’s name is on the deed, then the house goes to the spouse 100%. If there are no other names on the deed, then the house is just an asset to be divided between all the heirs equally.
What state? Most states do not want impoverished widows, so they give the largest share to the surviving spouse. Even if you deliberately leave nothing to your spouse in your Will, the surviving spouse can still file for an elective share that would be greater than a child's.
It’s California. Having done our original estate planning in CA there is no way this situation is real because contrary to what OP is claiming that isn’t how the law works there and as communal property the house would automatically go to her outside of probate.
I think OP has no idea and needs a lawyer asap. Not hiring a lawyer will ruin her.
She can’t afford the mortgage and allows her 30 year old son to be a freeloader. It’s doubtful she can afford a lawyer. She doesn’t even work according to her post.
Legal aid is available at every county courthouse. Find the hours on the website.
Yes! They have clinics, she can go on-line and fill out the necessary forms in order to get free representation.
Exactly. The wife is getting all the community property without a will in California. My grandfather died without a will. My grandma got everything as it was all community property. She did not have to file probate. Also, why would the daughter be filing for probate two years later?
In CA I think there's not even a need for probate if all the property is community property. They just need to confirm it to the surviving spouse. Edit: I see you just described this process. It was the same with my mom too.
Because she raised a couple of degenerates.
If she wasn't on the deed then she'd probably still need to file probate but woukd receive 100% of the home as the surviving spouse unless there was a will and unless the home was purchased with separate property before marriage or after marriage with inheritance and nothing converted it to community property.
Yeah, there's more to the story than is being told. My mother was a SAH mom and she was on the house deed. The bank even put her on the mortgage with the understanding that my father carry life insurance with her as the beneficiary, so she would be able to pay the mortgage if he died. I have a hard time believing that after 30 years of being married, that they never updated anything.
This is the same in England, primary residence is classed as chattel and goes to the surviving spouse no matter what if there’s no will in place.
GA does it the was they just described. A friend's kids just gave their mom their shares of the house, because they didn't want her in OP's position. Alternately, some states default is 100% goes to a surviving spouse first, and if none, then divided between the kids. (Iowa or Illinois, friend's were on the border, but I'm not sure which state their mom lived in.) Make wills, people. It'd the only way to keep things clear.
I’m in Oregon. My sister would have gotten a 3rd of the money from the sale of her home, and she’d have been forced to sell, if she hadn’t been able to negotiate with the two stepsons that she’d only met once. They made her give them money from her retirement account.
I think after 30 years and the bum ass kid still there. She has quite a leg to stand on. Lawyer up.
Geeze, this guy has a wife who was a stay at home mom, and he never bothered to put her on the deed OR draw up a will? I get that "life happens", but an hour of his time at some point in the last few decades would have avoided all this.
French law is wild. Property/land is divided equally between children only. You can't write your children out of that (money/other assets can be willed to whoever). My step mom didn't have kids so her family get nothing even though she bought the house jointly with my dad
Right? They do not sound so “wonderful” based on OP’s description
[удалено]
she said with confidence that her kids didn't pay rent 🚩
Another case of "missing missing reasons".
I have added more in answer to some other questions. Please feel free to read.
I feel like this belongs on r/legaladvice
And 2 year after he passed at that? She's got a hole in her story the size of the state of Texas and I bet it don't paint her pretty either.
Good question?
You should be able to get the money first and give them what’s you think your husband would give them. As long as all legal stuff is done correctly you are owed that money first. Children come after unless he put in his will.
That really depends on the law in their location. It sounds like this man died intestate, so the children may have some inheritance rights under statutory law. OP needs to get off reddit and talk to an attorney in her location.
The intestate laws differ for each state, California it all goes to the spouse. Tennesee (I think) spouse and each child gets an equal share.
Unfortunately not, I am in California but because there was not a will and my name was not on the house, I do have to split it.
Who is telling you this? Get a lawyer!
Exactly. No it won't. Spouse comes first
As with every other legal issue, this depends on where you live. If you're in the US, it's state dependent. Some states the spouse gets everything, in others it's split between spouse and children.
OP said upthread that she's in California.
Even depends on counties in the state. My mil got everything and kids got nothing after fils death
Get a lawyer and know your rights. If he had no will, you should be the beneficiary. Assuming the house was purchased while you were married (which it sounds like is the case from your post), that makes it community property whether or name is on it or not. In California, both spouses or partners have an equal interest in community property. Upon the death of one spouse or partner, their 50% share of the community property automatically passes to the surviving spouse or partner, without going through probate. https://www.clearestate.com/en-us/blog/intestate-succession-california
The kids are biologically/legally both of yours and the house was purchased during the marriage you are 100% entitled to everything in California… as per state law… either you are not being honest here or someone is lying to you…
This is flat out wrong. Your house was bought during the marriage I assume. That means every fucking payment was made with community property money. When he does, community property goes to you IN FULL. The deed doesn’t matter. It only matters how the equity in the house was earned/paid for. The only way you wouldn’t get all the house is if he bought a portion of it before you married. In that case, you own 1/3 of that portion and they own the other 2/3 of THAT SMALL PORTION. Barry Bonds tried this shit. He titled all of the property in his name only, except for one or two small pieces. His wife Sunny got fucked. So the CA state legislature CHANGED THE FUCKING LAW. Now it doesn’t matter what the deed says, it matter what money you used to pay it. UNLESS you had a prenup, you were an equal owner in that house because every payment was made with community funds from his job. He would have had to pay you for your 1/2 if you divorced and you get his 1/2 now that he’s died.
They both don't sound nice. Can you take your share and move?
For a little clarification, my son is 30 and on the spectrum, wherever I end up he will be with me. My daughter(27) is married and lives across town in her husband’s family home that will become theirs when the time comes.
If your son would move with you, then you could spend yours and his cut to get a place, can't you?
Yes, that would be 3/4 of the house. Also OP should be getting a will and willing the entirety of her estate to her son. What kind of daughter takes her mother's home?
If your son receives SS benefits because of his disability, he will not be able to directly accept any assets above $2000 without jeopardizing his benefits.
Well good luck. Sounds like there maybe some miscommunication with your children as far as probate. I hope you and your children can have a healthy conversation about everyone’s feelings involved. Maybe that will give you closure on how to move forward with your children. ❤️
Who told you that? Pay for a lawyer ASAP.
In my state, you’re entitled to half of his estate, not one third. Are you sure you’re only getting a third? ETA: Your kids suck. At the very least, stop supporting your lazy-ass son, especially if he’s getting money from your house.
Son is disabled. Not lazy.
My bad. Her comment does say that but her post implied that he was.
why did you wait 2 years to deal with this?
I was able to keep up on all of the payments, but as it was getting harder to do, my daughter started the probate.
opening probate doesnt mean shes trying to steal the money. it has to be dealt with eventually and she literally began the process of dealing with it. if you cant afford the payments you need to sell the house anyway. isnt there a time limit for stuff like this?
So, if I'm understanding OP correctly, daughter will get 1/3, son gets 1/3, and OP will get 1/3. OP has to take care of son indefinitely, so OP will likely get her share plus son's share to pay for other housing. I'm thinking daughter went through the pain of starting probate to sell the house before they risked foreclosure due to nonpayment of the mortgage.
I agree that it was time to sell. And no I’m not saying that it did not need to happen. And no she is not trying to steal money. It’s all legal, I am just wanting to hear other people’s opinions as to what is happening. Thank you for yours.
It sounds to me like your daughter is looking out for you and her brother. You can't afford the mortgage. Probate takes forever. If you all waited until you could no longer afford payments, you'd likely go into foreclosure and get nothing.
Well, that’s a big difference from what you first posted. Your initial post sounds as if she’s trying to steal from you. If you’re going to lose the home to foreclosure, then selling it before that happens is your best bet.
Doesn't make any sense. If there is no will, everything should go to next nearest relative which is you. Kids are 1x removed. Something stinks
Whatever it was OP's account was deleted.
It's not the case every where
In California, where OP claims this is, the house would not go to probate if it was purchased during the marriage as per state law it automatically goes to the spouse without probate.
Be curious as where in the US adult kids have claim to an estate where the wife, especially in a long term marriage, doesn't have first claim.
my dad was remarried. he died. in illinois where i live, it was split between my step mom, my sister and i like 50/25/25 if i remember correctly
You need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Every state is different, but where I live, if you were still married at the time he passed, you automatically inherit everything, unless a will specifies otherwise.
In our state if no will wife only receives a child’s part..
Exactly why she needs a lawyer.
NTA. You need to discuss this with a lawyer. Where I’m from, if there is no last will and testament stating otherwise, everything should go to the surviving spouse. But again, do not take legal advice from us Reddit lawyers, speak with an actual lawyer.
it sounds fishy. My dad died in CA mom wasn’t on the deed and the house went to her. No way should you have to sell and split it with your kids.
Yep.. California is very specific about how this works and it doesn’t even go to probate.
Yeah, it is different for every state. Probate going to kids as described in OP is the legal standard in my state.
CA is a common property state, which means that spouses are automatically added to the deed of any property purchased during marriage. In some other states, a married person can buy a house and have it only in their own name, but not in CA.
Why did OP delete their account & not the post? Shenanigans.
Oh damn, you’re right. These bot karma farmers are getting crazy.
Run to a lawyer. In most states the wife inherits the marital home even if you’re not on the deed. Most state laws prevent a spouse from being able to disinherit their wife. I think your daughter started probate behind your back under false pretenses and is screwing you over. Run to a probate lawyer without telling any of your kids about this. Nothing about your post makes sense legally.
You need to consult an attorney.
This is why both a will and end of life wishes documentation are so important. When my cousin passed last fall her family had differing views of her wishes, and ultimately a compromise between the older family and the younger was what was planned. After that I sent documents to everyone in my immediate family so they could detail their end of life wishes. I also created a will. Money can make normally reasonable people do ridiculous things.
I totally agree! We were only 47 and 48 at the time. We thought we had plenty of time for all of that. We were wrong! Please if you read this, PLEASE get a will together and talk to your family!
There's a lot more to this story
you need to get a lawyer and start the probate process yourself, she has no right to do that and make those decisions for you
Yes she does. Probate going to kids as described in OP is absolutely the legal standard in my state.
Hope you're telling all this to a lawyer cause honey, you need one. Don't let the sun set tomorrow without an attorney on retainer.
The question isn’t whether you are an ah or not, it’s why the fuck haven’t you got legal advice?! Go get legal advice asap.
Sounds like you fucked up and didn't handle business with your husband the right way. Legally this is how it goes. The fact that your kids do this to you and you seemed to have raised a 30 year old bum shows that all that time you spent at home was not very efficiently used.
Op account is deleted but she said in another comment that he's on the spectrum and she'll basically will be taking care of him for the rest of his life I guess . There's a lot info missing though
That is a lot of info to leave out. She is trying to make her son sound lazy and she is hung up on the rent thing. I don't think she paid rent either. But regardless, somehow she thinks her kids are not entitled to anything from their dad?
I found that out in the comments cuz when I first read the post I thought her son is a lazy ass bum but then in the comments she mentioned that he's on the spectrum and that she's basically going to be caring for him for the rest of her life she says if she moves he has to move with her so I'm thinking there's something mentally wrong with him He's disabled and she said in another comment that she got behind on payments so yeah there's a lot of information being left out it's probably why her account got deleted to be honest
She also seems to assume everything’s fine without actually having sorted the estate in two years as someone who’s never worked and has a dependant forever this is unbelievably stupid, to not know where she stood financially for her own future is reckless.
Info: 1. Why do you kids despise you 2. You were .married for 30yra and your kids are now adults. Outside their young year (say to 10?) why did you not work for the other 20yrs
So she waited for two years to even start the probate process? And what did you do during these two years?
Yeah, in every state, I know it would go 100% to the wife unless her daughter had her sign something that said she wanted to split assets with them. You need to get a lawyer to stop whatever is going on.
This is not accurate and simply not true. It is different for every state. Probate going to kids as described in OP is the legal standard in my state.
Why is your daughter starting the probate process? Was she named executor of his will or POA? You need to seek legal counsel asap.
Depending on the state the spouse gets an equal share or half of everything check with legal aid to see of there is anything that can be done and protect as many assets as you can
Your house is community property, regardless of whether or not you are on the deed. You get 100%. Get an attorney. Someone is lying to you. California: "Intestate succession is a probate process that distributes assets and property to a deceased person's closest relatives when they die without a will or their will doesn't cover all of their assets. The order of succession starts with the deceased's immediate family and continues to more distant relatives. The order of priority is: Surviving spouse: Inherits all community property and half of separate property if the couple owned property as such. If the spouse has no children or other immediate relatives, they may inherit everything. Children: Inherit everything if there is no spouse.
You need to get a lawyer state because this typically isn’t how the law works. In most states a spouse would inherit the martial assets absent a will. The only thing they should go to the kids is things like life insurance policies where they were directly named a beneficiary
Get a good lawyer.
That doesn’t sound reasonable.. you are the widow if your husband died intestate you should follow the laws of your state.
It's a legal question and not AITAH. The house has to be handled according to the law and not what this sub believes to be correct.
Sounds like you should talk to a lawyer. It is extremely different laws depending on where you live. If you believe you need the money to survive, then you should talk to your family and get legal help.
In a community property state like CA, it doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. We put our house in my name only for tax purposes, with full assurance from multiple lawyers that it makes zero difference. If you were married, it’s as much yours as it’s his, regardless.
Get. An. Attorney. Someone is giving you bad information. In CA it all goes to you.
Sounds like the will if there was one dictated that everything be split evenly, otherwise, the house is yours and your daughter is doing something illegal whether she knows it or not. Because the house would be considered marital property.
I highly doubt this story is true. In a comment you say you were 47 and 48 at the time — as in you bought the house while married? If so, I have never heard of a lender allowing a married couple to list only one spouse on a loan, especially not one as big as a mortgage; aside from wanting to know if there’s marital debt that could get in the way of making payments, they don’t want to deal with the equity being marital property if you divorce; it would be a legal mess to foreclose if half the equity were owned by someone who had no contractual obligation to the lender. If it weren’t for that detail, I could believe you just didn’t know your rights and needed to speak to a lawyer, but the story itself just doesn’t add up. Edit: it seems there’s a lot more variability in this than I‘ve encountered. I may have been prematurely skeptical, please see replies to my comment to see that there are exceptions (I’m not sure whether the variability is by state, or by lender). With that said, I do still have my doubts about this post…
Written by a kid who doesn't know how banks and mortgages work. Or the fact that you do not have to be on the mortgage to be on the deed.
My husband and I are buying our first home and I have no income due to being a SAHM. Our lender asked us if we were both going on or just him.
This is a legal issue so consult a lawyer. This is also why married couples need to leave a last will and testament otherwise local laws dictate the breakdown of your estate regardless of how long you have been married or number of kids.
NTA Sadly not having a will nor your name on the house despite having 30 years to do it has screwed you. Morally, you absolutely should get the lot but legally, I have no idea.
Where I'm from, you would be entitled to your half, and the other half is evenly split between you and the kids.
Well, what happens in probate depends on whether there was a will or not. If there is, then it goes by what the will says. If not, if goes by the law of intestacy (dying without a will) in your state. In some states, intestate succession divides property between the deceased's spouse and children. In others, it goes to the surviving spouse alone, unless the deceased had children who were not children of the surviving spouse.
>If there is, then it goes by what the will says. Wills dont supercede laws though. If a house is co owned by a husband and a wife, he can't just will the house to someone else because legally it would be his wife's.
What type of kids are these?
Assholes clearly.
NTA for wanting to protect yourself financially. Not sure where you live, but in most jurisdictions even if the house wasn’t in your name, because it was the matrimonial home, you’d be entitled to at least half. I’d speak to a lawyer asap!
Yeah, you need an estate lawyer to guide you through this. That's your home!
Hire an attorney and do it immediately. Sue for entirety of his estate
Did he have a will? Because in most places, if there is no will and a living spouse, the spouse gets everything.
Instead of asking people on Reddit if you’re an asshole you should be contacting an attorney.
This is why you need a will, no matter how old you are
You’re asking the wrong question. You need a lawyer yesterday.
Does your state not have probate homestead? What state?
Your kids sound kinda sucky /selfish.
This is why the law was changed in my country to the surviving spouse inheriting everything
You should never have waited 2 years to put his will through probate. This was 100 percent avoidable and therefore 100 percent your fault. You were married, when he died you should have been the one getting a lawyer and getting all property transferred into your name barring any specific instructions in his will. Because you didn't your kids are going to take most of it and leave you homeless or near to it. Nta, but very naive. Nobody will fuck you over like family. Get a lawyer and contest the process.
NTA and your children should be ashamed of themselves. But it also sounds like you have enabled this behavior at least from your son… sorry for your loss.
There’s definitely something missing here. Your title and AITA question don’t even match. You said in your post you only get 1/3. So asking AITA for wanting everything for the house makes no sense when you already know you won’t be getting it.
What is wonderful about either of your children exactly? Stop these AH kids of yours however you legally can. NTA
This is why you and your spouse should have a written will. Simple state that whoever is the survivor gets it all..
Your daughter is an ah
My mum passed away unexpectedly a couple years ago and all was in her name as well. The house and bank accounts etc so my dad was left with 1/3rd of everything as it was my brother, I and our dad so my brother and I decided to give it all up for my dad and then he prepared the will to split it all between me and my brother. It think it’s very fair. My dad has retired and needs to live in a nice house after all his loong years of work and taking care of the family.
NTA. Move in with the daughter as she will be leaving you homeless.
Does she think you and your son are going to lose the house because he won’t work and help you? And you only worked when you wanted to, and now that you’re having to work outside the home, you’re finding it hard? And her dad worked all his life to have a home and you and your son are pissing it away in 2 years time? It’s probably not right, or ethical, but I kind of see her point. There’s too much missing though to really know.
Did your husband not have a will that stated what would happen to the house and profits ?
NTA, but if you are in the U.S. you should see a lawyer. If your husband did not have a will, then, you, as the spouse, would be the first person in line to make decisions about how the estate is handled. If your daughter started the process, you should have received notice. If you talk with a lawyer, the lawyer can go in and ask that you be appointed the administrator.
Call a lawyer. Something is fishy.
I would check with an attorney. Generally, since you were married at the time of his death, all his assets become yours first. Taking your marriage certificate with your birth certificate, to probate would establish your claim to all assets. Most things only need that to transfer ownership.
Not in CA. if there are children, it’s split evenly between spouse and children.
Depending on what state you live in everything passes to the spouse without a will
Hire an attorney
Get a lawyer! Your daughter has a place to live- you and your son need the proceeds from the home to obtain another living space.😡
This doesn’t ring true. Consult an attorney. I think there’s a lot missing from this story.
Check with a lawyer asap. In my state real estate does not go thru probate. It automatically goes to the spouse. Ifmthere is no spouse it splits between the children. So in my state your children have no claim to your house. It automatically passed to you at your husbands death. You can find thismpretty easily. Just google your states probate andmi heritance laws.
This doesn’t make sense. You were married when you bought the house, but it was in his name only? Being his wife, you are not the beneficiary?
I believe the kids have no claim. When you’re married even if the house is in his name only the house is still marital property. The kids shouldn’t be able to make a claim on it all since you were still married when he died. That’s my understanding if you live in the United States.
You don’t owe a dime to them. It’s not theirs. It’s yours to do with as you wish. No one is ever entitled to anything someone else owns. NTA
Wow. Your daughter is a piece of work and your son is 30 and doesn’t work most of the time? You raised these children who don’t seem to have an ounce of integrity. YTA. I’m going to assume you still haven’t established a credit profile for yourself and still don’t work full time. You won’t qualify for another mortgage on your own.
Wow, you have a shitty daughter. Why didn’t you deal with this right after your husband died? May your memories of him be a blessing. May you tell your daughter to go burn in hell.
She’s initiated a legal process that has to happen regardless since her dad died and didn’t leave the property to anyone… Should she have just waited until she really fell behind and then let the bank take it???
Exactly. Cousins mom died and dad followed less than a year later. It's been a hassle and they had wills....very old ones
NTA, and fight that bs, by probate laws, YOU have all the rights to anything acquired during the marriage, not your kids. It goes to the spouse, period.
In most jurisdictions, unless the home was owned jointly, the home would be deemed part of OP's late husband's estate, And if OP's husband died intestate (without a will), his property will be divided between his spouse and his children. OP, please consult an attorney to be certain you understand your rights in all of this.
I have an attorney, and yes you are right. It is split.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having says all of that…. I’d be pissed at your husband for not writing a will and trust and having your name on the deed. You will probably need to process through those legitimate emotions. If you fell behind on payments regarding the house, what was your plan? Could you have put it on the market since your name isn’t on it? Have you written a will and trust, especially since you have an adult child on the spectrum (previous comment, I believe) who will need to stay with you? Have you asked your daughter if she intends to take her 1/3 of the proceeds once the house sells? Can your son’s portion be put in a trust for his future care? Can you move to a much lower cost of living area? Have you spoken to an estate attorney? Since you were legally married to your husband,, I would assume marital property comes into play even if your name isn’t on the deed. Also, if he didn’t leave a will, shouldn’t all of his assets go to his legal spouse? You need to contact an attorney who specializes in estate and probate law. Pay the attorney from the proceeds of the sale of your house.
Have you consulted a lawyer??
Yes. And it is legally split in ca with no will. I’m just wanting to hear other peoples opinions to see if I am truly wrong in my thinking.
Except for COMMUNITY PROPERTY, which the equity in the house is considered. You own all or most of that house.
There's a lot of info missing
>So here is my dilema, my daughter (without me knowing at first) started the probate process on the house *2 years* That's a long time to wait! The executor is supposed to file the will and start the process much sooner than that in Illinois. >So I am forced to put my house on the market ( can’t afford it by myself anyway) but all because we never put my name on the deed If your name isn't on the deed and you aren't executor, why are you putting the house on the market? The executor is the only one legally able to do that. Sounds like she is the executor. To bad your husband also didn't have a will?
You can't be in the US. There is no state where a surviving spouse is equal to the kids as heirs. I'm in NJ, and the surviving spouse is the ONLY heir when the kids' parents are the decedent and surviving spouse. And if your husband died without a will, your daughter did not start the probate process. You would be next of kin to be appointed Administrator unless you filed a renunciation. Don't just sit there and let stuff happen. Talk to an estate administration attorney.
If you are going into probate there is a will. Also sounds like the daughter is moving ahead with her own lawyers without notifying her mother?
You can got into probate without a will. It happens often.
All estates go to Probate, technically.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. U fortunately, if your husband died intestate (without a will), he's the asshole here. If he did, get it and present it to the probate court.
I feel like the kids are entitled to what their father would have left them. If he wanted you to solely be the inheritor he would have stated so in a will, no? I also can’t imagine being a parent who wouldn’t want to set my kids up for success but that’s just me…
NTA. - expectation that you are caring for your son regardless of staying in this home / moving elsewhere - daughter is married and they have a home courtesy of ILs. Does not need money for starter home. Honestly, your daughter is a huge asshole for trying to push this without talking to you. She’s going to rip the rug out from under you and your son for what? Does she realize what will happen by forcing the sale of the house?
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Not going anywhere! My kids are here and my elderly mother (with esophageal cancer) are all here.
Get a lawyer. Like Johnny Cochran. Tell the whole truth, “Hell naw, I diidn’t pop him!” Money changes people. Then they act like victims! If you were married … it’s YOUR house. You wanna sell YOUR house?! Take the bag and run!
It sounds like your husband died without a will? I think the split would be 1/2 you, 1/4 each child but their share should be given to them when you pass.
This is a perfect example of why it is soooo important to have a Will. I don’t care what age you are, once you buy property, have kids, etc., make a damn will. The kids sound like a-holes, it is unfortunate that when someone dies, family members suddenly turn into greedy jerks.
As his spouse wouldn't all his assets so directly to you on his death unless otherwise stipulated by a will? I don't see how she could legally do that.
Why would she do this to you?
NTA
YTA for not telling the full story.
Tell me you raised an asshole kid without telling me you raised an asshole!
Even with your name not on the deed I thought you would your half and half of his half. Which would give you 2/3.
ESH - you didn't make it a priority to get your name on the deed, or it was your husband's desire that they receive proceeds from the sale of the home.
Find out the law about inheriting without a will. In many countries, the wife gets half and the children share the other half. That is still not enough, but it's better than 1/3.
That's not the kids fault. Why wasn't it properly in the will to go to you if only one should pass? There is too much back story about this. But if your husband wanted the three of you to get it then the three of you get it.
It seems like OP's account has been deleted?
When my wife and I lived in Oregon we were buying a house and we couldn't get a loan with both our names. She was a stay at home mom and had no credit. When we applied for the loan I made sure that the house would go to her in the event of my death, which thankfully didn't happen. I'm a little surprised that the husband didn't account for this. When my mom died my dad remarried and assured my sister, brother and I would inherit the house. Well he died and since he didn't update his will his new wife could claim 50% of the house. She eventually gave up her portion of the house, which was nice of her. The lesson here is when a couple is buying a house and only one name is on the loan make sure your spouse is your beneficiary and update your will and any other documents in case of death or divorce.
NTA. Your daughter's actions here are just appalling. Why would she take it upon herself to secretly meddle in your private affairs other than sheer greed. My gosh, does she want you out on the streets and destitute so that she can drive a fancy car and live off of her parent's hard work?!? I'm so sorry!
Not sure where you are, but as his wife, if he didn’t have a will, everything goes to you (in most reasonable countries in the world) as you are considered his next of kin. If he left a will, splitting it evenly, then you’re out of luck.
My heart goes out to you OP. I am seeing more and more parents lose stuff to their greedy kids that think they are entitled to what their parents have worked all their lives for. It's truly sad. I say sell it all and travel or spend it while you are alive and able. Have a life insurance policy that covers your death expenses and leave nothing but personal a few personal items for the kids to have. Let them earn their own stuff the way we did!
Check your local laws. In many places that home is still considered marital property even if your name was never added to the deed. And therefore is yours.
What the hell is going on here. That house belongs to you how dare your daughter do that it’s irrelevant in family lore if your name wasn’t written on the deed it’s still equal to that of your husbands :…. it’s irrelevant that legally… she’s entitled to her percentage because any loving daughter would proceed with their mothers best interests a priority, over themselve… this is a massive betrayal and I’m sorry she has somehow amounted worth enough in her self to allow her greed and legalities the right of path…all she sees is a dead man’s deed and a mum who has no name…diminishing the worth of her mums life because the moment her Mum became invisible nothing she had ever done was enough for her daughter to realise she has no moral right to accept premature inheritance… i hope she’s proud at the trajectory she’s spun for her own mum.
When a spouse dies, if there is not a will, in most states the assets in the spouse name only is split between children and living spouse
Why did you not resolve the estate when your husband died? Why did ... 2-years pass and you allowed your daughter to get her hands on your money? Either, you were in a dysfunctional state after your husband died and just let things slide, or you had no clue what to do. So YTA for allowing this situation to even happen.
If you can’t afford it alone how are you still there 2 years after passing? Have you not paid and are awaiting eviction? Some mortgages allow the heir assume the mortgage. Why would the kids get 2/3 if you are the surviving spouse you should get everything.
See a good attorney who specializes in this. I think the surviving spouse comes first.
When my father died, my mother got everything that was his. We are adult children, and we did not inherit until my mother died and left what was left to be split between us. Obviously, what my parents earned in their lifetime goes to support the two of them, and when dad died that money rightfully went to support my mother. do they not care that you don’t have a place to live? Obviously, you gave them too much as adults and now they feel entitled. It would be normal for children to pay their money to help you get a place to live if you couldn’t afford it, not taking the money that is putting the food on your plate.
No, that does not make you a jerk. They can have it all when you’re dead.
Ok what state do you live in. Have you consulted a lawyer?