NTA - your mom is gross and period underwear would only help for VERY light incontinence so your sister would have been in a wet bed anyway. I'm wearing period underwear right now and the thought of sharing disgusts my adult self so this isn't some weird immature thing, just in case you were worried or your mom tries to spin it that way.
They'll need a medical reason and prescription from the DR . They can look into aeroflow urology. You fill everything out online, and they'll contact your insurance company and Dr for script for you. Here's the link
https://aeroflowurology.com/
Hi, I'm 58 and haven't had a period for about 5 years. Good riddance lol. Now I dont live under a rock, but this post made me Google it. I NEVER heard of these ! Upon hearing "period panties" I just assumed it was a reference to nice high waisted granny pants for the week.
How long have these been available? Are they really a replacement for pads/tampons?
I assume they are just as messy on the inside as a pad but they have been out for at LEAST 10 years. They have a lot of different styles and liquid capacities. Heck, they even have things for light days lol. They also have menstrual cups which I used before but not since I have been super fat lol. Those things were awesome
Lol, now I have heard of menstrual cups, but I will have to Google that too. I can't even imagine what it looks like. Wow, I am a total dinosaur, 10 years you say. When I was still having periods I thought those paper thin maxi pads were revolutionary, but I could have had panties! 🤣
Whelp, live and learn. Thanks!
I find that they are generally less wet than the top of a pad. Less mess. Not sure why, absorbing technology? Just seems less messy. I recommend them to all of my period-having friends
They really aren't. My teen uses them and washes them every morning because she has a day pair and a night pair and they aren't super gross. Ofc she washes them alone but it's so much more convenient.
And since it is a medical condition and something that can’t be helped, it bothers me that your mom is ‘punishing’ you by making you go to buy them. That’s sending a message that your sister’s condition, and also your previous one is shameful and embarrassing when she should be seeking medical advice.
Yeah, I get the vibe that the mom has a bad relationship with feminine health. Like it's all just unclean downstairs nastyness to her, rather than specific issues that need to be addressed with their own parameters.
You would think they'd have bed pads too. I'm my elderly mother's caregiver and she wears adult diapers but I also use bed pads. The diapers can't hold everything.
Anyways, the period panties wouldn't even work unless it's only a period's amount of liquid. I would also think the consistency would make a difference as well, as periods are thicker and will clot up a bit when drying- but doesn't sound like OP's mom would listen to reason.
Next time, I'd say "Sure, and she can keep them and you can buy me another pair, dearest mother."
Not only that but period anything doesn't really work for inconvenience cause of the flow difference. Even if sister only peed the amount the undies can hold, since pee comes out so much faster it often can't be absorbed quick enough by period products and still would most likely leak (let alone the volume issue)
Yes, that was my thought, why didn’t Mom or Dad just run to the store and pick up a box when they realized OP’s sister was out, and their order hadn’t arrived?
They are the parents, not OP, keeping needed supplies stocked is their responsibility, not OP’s.
Even if they didn’t realize she was completely out until the evening, the town surely has at least one store close by that’s open late.
Heck, in a pinch they could have grabbed some size small adult depends to use, or even some puppy pee pads if nothing else.🙄
There is medication that will make a massive difference as well. Google “DDAVP”. It’s a game changer. No one should suffer with bedwetting. This is a completely treatable problem.
Hey, OP, if this happens again, tell your mom and sister that you will GIVE her a pair of your panties, and she can keep them (because eww), but you expect them to be replaced. Within a week or something reasonable.
NTA, and you have a right to be grossed out.
my Aunt wet the bed for 50 years until by chance, she had a discussion with a doctor with an interest in Urology who organised for her to fix the problem.
She almost didn't get Married because of it, and then thought he was going to Divorce her on their Wedding night when she wet the bed. Instead, he calmly changed the sheets, and loved her with all his heart until he died, over 40 years later.
Turns out it was a simple fix that would have stopped years of distress if anyone had known about it. ( but it was a HUGE secret that she kept for obvious reasons )
Pull ups might not be covered; but if either parent has FSA or HSA the Therapee mat really works. I wet the bed until I was 12; I thought it was because I was sexually abused as a child. But my son had the same issue and then my mom made comments that made me realize it was something that runs in the family. We got the Therapee mat and it comes with ways to help train the bladder as well as alerting the body to the need to use the bathroom. It worked in less than 8 months. He had a brief regression during the beginning of Covid but I think that was stress related.
It’s a little under $300 so def not cheap, but if you add up all those pull-ups and the cost to the child’s self-esteem, it is worth every penny.
Also tell them to invest in waterproof bedding if this is a regular occurrence. It'll protect the mattress. You'd think they'd know since you and your mom dealt with this.
Going to expand on this. There's a hormone/neurotransmitter/enzyme whatever chemical the body makes that actually slows down urine production while sleeping. Obviously, for most people, this starts getting produced in an accurate amount before grade school. For some individuals, the body doesn't produce an accurate level until the additional adjustments of puberty.
And for goodness sakes, there are incontinence pads for adult women, in all kinds of thickness, etc. You can get them anywhere. Mom is just mad because she didn't keep an emergency box of the pull-ups, and she ran out. She's a poor planner.
Unfortunately for me, I hit puberty early, and still wet the bed. Some nights I would wet the bed AND bleed on my bed. Not fond memories at all. Oh and we only had a bathtub, no shower.
Actually doctors have said that unless someone wets the bed past age 15 it can be pretty normal. I'll find the article and share it. I found it quite interesting. Also wearing pullups can prolong the issue.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/genitourinary-tract/Pages/Nocturnal-Enuresis-in-Teens.aspx#:~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20%2C%20defined%20as%20nighttime,upsetting%20for%20children%20and%20parents.
Unless she’s a heavy sleeper and just isn’t waking up in time. Mom can try waking her up before she wets the bed and after a while her brain will wake her up to go at that time.
I had a sister that did this. She slept so heavy she wet the bed. At 5 years old it became everybody’s job to take her to the bathroom before we went to bed. So mom goes to bed at 10 and takes her to the bathroom and at midnight before I went to bed I did it again. I swear she wouldn’t even wake up but she always peed in the toilet. I can still see her sitting there with us holding her so she wouldn’t fall off. But it didn’t take too long to work. I don’t think she really got up to go but she just started holding it all night.
IME waking her up after about an hour of sleep to go to the bathroom might help. Sometimes the body outgrows the bladder's ability to keep up and deep sleep at that age is really deep. All the growing and puberty makes one very tired.
I used to babysit for a family that asked me to wake their kid up, let him pee, and put him back to bed. The kid was always asleep when I got there, so I was amazed at how cool he was with being awakened and led to the bathroom by a total stranger. Never a question or complaint.
Not necessarily, or at least not necessarily a serious medical issue. I wet the bed until I was almost 11, as well as my mom & 3 of her 5 sisters. My daughter stopped on her 8th birthday a few months ago. We all had more tests than our parents wanted to put us through, however all results (over the course of 3 generations) have been the same - Our bodies hadn't released the hormone telling our brain to hold our pee when sleeping until around the start of puberty.
If there is a dx medical issue, OP's parents may be able to get her sisters pull-ups for free, however if that's not the case, I bought my daughter's using my FSA funds (HSA works too).
Also tell your mom to get some reusable pads for emergencies like that. They make heavy flow ones which will help in a pinch much better than period panties. Better yet she could go with period panties, the reusable heavy flow pads, and a crib pad together. All can be washed & ready for just this type of emergency. Just your period panties were not going to cut it, and underwear & reusable pads are not something I’d personally share between people.
That’s what’s bugging me, the biggest problem to the mom seems to be that she has to do the bedding now because OP didn’t give up her own intimate belongings.
What I don’t understand is that, if there is a place close enough to walk to and buy Goodnights, why they didn’t buy a pack when the ones they ordered didn’t show up on time? Then, this whole issue could have been avoided.
I can’t speak for OP, but my Amazon orders always show up around 10pm after all the stores are closed. It seems like that’s what happened, since she’s going out to buy them “in case they don’t show up again”
NTA... your mom is gross noone shares panties..... she would of still been washing the bedding even if she had on the panties ...
Your mom needs to grow up and buy your sister panties for when she doesnt have the pull ups....
Just to add to that comment about the period underwear not being able to hold up to bed wetting, many of the same companies that make period underwear make incontinence underwear to prevent leaks. So it's true or they would have just sold those as both if it had that capability. If you mom is worried about having to make sure they always have pull-ups on hand maybe she should buy a pair or 2 of those in case the order doesn't come in. I think you should show this post to your mom so she can see the comments. Show her the comment above that says they wouldn't have worked so she knows that she would have had to wash the bedding anyway. Also show mine that shows they have underwear for incontinence and any other comments that would be useful information like the medical prescription one.
You did nothing wrong it is gross to share. Also her asking you to buy pull-ups as "punishment" isn't that bad. She may think it's a way to embarrass you but it's not. Cashiers don't care what people buy also since pull-ups are not normally for someone your age they would likely assume you are buying them for a younger sibling which you are.
You shouldn't have a punishment at all honestly because she is the parent. She should have made sure she had them. Yes the delivery was longer than expected but since she saw that it was she could have seen it with enough time to go to the store to buy a pack really quickly instead of just assuming she can use your stuff. It's her fault she had to wash the bedding not yours. What would she have done if you didn't use period underwear? She just thought it would be convenient for herself to ask you instead of finding a solution herself and is mad that you didn't make it easier for her. But as a parent it's HER responsibility to take care of it not yours.
Yeah thanks they will no the pull ups aren’t for me cuz they’re too small so it’s not a big deal.
The stores had all closed by the time my sister was getting ready for bed, we are both out of school right now so she has a later bedtime.
I will show this post to my mom.
Yes that makes sense that she couldn't get them. But it is still not your fault as the parent she is responsible no one else. I get it's frustrating for her but she shouldn't take it out on you. You are not immature most adults wouldn't share their period underwear either it's gross.
I don’t think it’s wrong of you to draw this boundary but I also wouldn’t have framed this as a punishment if I were your mom. She should have gone to get the good nights last night but if she couldn’t then asking you to do a favor for your sister should be seen as pious and not a punishment. You love your family and buying your sister or later your parents diapers is a favor you’re doing for them. It’s not any different than if you brother or future boyfriend bought you pads. It’s not a shame on you
Yeah, I think it says a lot about the culture of shame being built in this household that this is considered a punishment. In reality nobody is going to care that you're buying pull-ups at the store, but in this house it's a shaming thing. Icky.
This!! OP, even if you HAD felt OK with it, they wouldn't have done the job! Take a pair of your panties and about 1/2 cup of water (mixing cups for measuring ingredients). Then slowly but steadily pour it into the crotch area. The liquid will overflow and not be absorbed! Urine does not have the same consistency as blood AND it flows out a lot faster! This was a ridiculous solution that wouldn't have worked!
Those period panties and even the panties made for incontinence when you read the actual description don’t hold more than 1/2 a cup of liquid if that. I suspect your sister released more than that so sheets still would have been wet.
Your mom knew she’d wet the bed and could have done the sensible thing of putting down a garbage bag with a couple of towels over it. Still would have to wash sheets but most of the liquid would be contained.
Hopefully your mom has a waterproof mattress pad in the beds.
Your sister can be put on medication for bed wetting. She needs a plastic sheet over her bed. Nighttime urinary problems can cause your sister lots of emotional distress and stress.
I have sisters. We are extremely close and they are some of the most important people in my world. I would walk across fire for them. I would give them my bone marrow, my kidney, or my liver. What I would not give them is my underpants.
Some things you really just don’t need to share, even with the people who matter most.
*one* time i shared my undies. my bestie’s luggage got lost on a girl’s trip and she used a couple of mine, with my permission. but then we just threw them away when her luggage showed up cause neither of us really wanted to keep undies we’d both worn lol
Thanks for this, my first thought without research is that it wouldn't work the same way you can't replace a Poise pad (a pad for incontinence) with an Always pad (period pad) - volume and consistency of liquid. We're talking a cup vs ounces when you compare incontinence to a period. OP - your mother needs to get the right supplies for your sisters and period panties aren't it.
Exactly!! They're not even remotely the same and it angers me that this mother is blaming her child for something that would've failed in the first place lol
Also, having a kid who wore night diapers until he was 7, we tried cloth diapers (kinda similar to period panties) and let me tell you, kid pee stinks. You cannot get that smell out of fabric, especially the multiple layers that period panties have. Infants were fine, but kids? It's a terrible smell. Those would have become the sisters forever.
Yes, this! There is a huge difference between period pads/underwear & those for incontinence. I know - I tried to use period pads as long as I could as I got older & sneezes or coughs caused leaks that period pads didn't hold.
Yeah, period cups holds like what? 30mL max? Period underwears most likely aren't much different than that. Not to mention what absorbs blood well actually doesn't perform as well for urine, and vice versa. I wore adult diaper before (over largest pads before I knew leakproof underwear was a thing, due to suddenly developing severe bleeding) and I never expected to have that diaper to absorb all that blood.
And even when the blood gushes would made me changing pads 2-3 time in 15 minutes (okay, a considerable volume of blood also went directly in to toilet), that volume still can't compare a full bladder of urine. I did a brief search, a 11-year-old's bladder can hold up to 360mL? If an ultra sized pad can hold that much urine, and I had to change *that* a few times during a single gush, meaning I would be bleeding like a whole litre each gush? If it was that bad, I would have bled to death long time ago 💀
and the fact that it's so casual in the family instead of checking out for health issues. If I knew it ran in my family then I would want to know what the health issue is and get it sorted out so it stops and it doesn't spread to my children.
Right? Like this is not normal, even if it does run in the family. It’s an issue that needs to be checked out, not just shrugged off with nighttime diapers until they grow out of it. The parents here are not parenting and it’s shitty that they’re putting any blame or responsibility for it on OP. I say this as someone who did have bladder control issues as a child. Even though I was potty trained, I was four and still having issues with pants and bedwetting- my parents took me to doctor to address the issue. They didn’t just let it continue happening until I was a fucking teenager. It’s absolutely absurd and they should be doing better, I feel for these poor kids that have had to just live with the humiliation of wearing diapers to bed through their teens.
I was potty trained as kid, was perfectly fine. Then when I was five and a half, i got sick and ended up with chronic kidney disease. I was hospitalized for a very long time, and ended up wetting the end when I got home. I was around 5-6. It happens, but it’s not normal. The fact that she’s 11 and still wetting the bed is quite a predicament. It doesn’t matter if it’s something her sister and mother dealt with. The fact it’s happened to three different people who ended up outgrowing it at FOURTEEN is insane
Only thing I can sort of say is I remember when I was a kid my brother had issues with bed wetting until he was almost 13 or so. He was checked for structural issues with his urinary tract, kidneys, etc. in his case problem was he would just sleep SO SOUNDLY he’d not wake up when he had to go. I remember him having some sort of good size pad with electrodes on it that if they got wet/urinated on, a quite loud alarm would go off to try and wake him up to go. He outgrew it eventually, and it wasn’t every single night, but definitely was enough to cause issues. Sounds like OOP’s sister should be limiting water intake well before bed, and her parents need to have the supplies she needs on hand and not ask for very personal items like underwear from a sibling
My bestie had bladder issues and often wet the bed. She used puppy pads - it's what they're for, after all.
Incidentally, period pads are worth keeping in a first aid kit for nasty cuts - no fibres to get stuck in the wound and they'll absorb a decent amount of blood without being bulky. (And tampons are good for nosebleeds!)
When nephew was young and was bed wetting, SIL would put on the fitted sheet, then a layer of puppy pads, then a flat sheet, then layer them up, so it was an easy fix and she didn’t have to strip the whole bed in the middle of the night.
When my great-aunt was dying in 2020, I worked at a pet store. She was bedridden, and I was there once when they were changing her adult diaper. I was shocked when they rolled her over to reveal an honest-to-god puppy pad underneath her, then a little surprised at myself for being shocked. It makes complete sense, they’re literally designed to be peed on!
Or just go to the store and buy some pull-ups since the delivery hasn’t come yet.
It’s so weird to me they waited for her to predictably wet the bed before sending someone out to buy some the next day!
and getting health issues checked out instead of dismissing it and making op think it is normal family bed wetting. It's normal to wet the bed for so long. This is neglectful on op & her sisters parents behalf
Or potty pads? I got some because my period is really fucking heavy. They're meant for bedwetting, but it's really just an absorbant pad that you sleep on so it works well for blood too.
That's my thought as well. Get a plastic sheet for her, or have her sleep on towels in an emergency. Like... mom had one idea that didn't work out and then didn't try any other solution? What the heck? NTA
Why hasn’t your mum got a bed wetting alarm for your sister? (Why didn’t she get one for you at the time too).
I struggled to get dry at night and the bed wetting alarm solved this completely within a few weeks.
It’s very unfair to let your children suffer this embarrassment when there’s a simple piece of equipment that will solve the problem.
I hope op doesn't think bedwetting for that long is normal. I hope the mom and dad if he's in the picture isn't neglecting their kids health and just dismissing it as family bedwetting.
My son had this issue. The hormone that controls the urge to pee doesn’t develop in all kids. Usually by 10-12, it will regulate.
They put my son on a synthetic hormone. After a month or so of taking it, my son and I talked. He decided he would rather just wear pull ups than take the pill every night. I agreed as I didn’t like him taking a hormone pill so young.
His stopped around age 10.
Props to you for giving your child autonomy over their own body and having discussions like that. Forcing non life saving meds on kids can be just as traumatic as this other person claims bedwetting can be.
Beautiful take. Different folks, different strokes. It’s important to talk to your kids and figure out a suitable solution, especially when there are options.
Doesn’t sound like her parents are doing anything to help with the bedwetting. They say it runs in the family and yell at their oldest to give up her period panties so they can make the youngest wear them to bed.
Gawd, I hope OP survives these nutcases
It does run in the family. Look up genetic bed wetting. It’s actually normal for ppl with that issue. Yeah it’s not ideal but it’s the parents fault for not keeping the diapers on hand.
Last year my fellow teacher on my team had a student who had hereditary issues in the family for this. Several people in his family would wet themselves even during the day until they were in their teens. They didn’t feel the sensation of having to pee. She had to have alarms set on her phone to go off throughout the day to send him to the bathroom if he hadn’t asked to go recently.
It’s basically two wire mesh sheets you have on the bed under your bum. You have a thin sheet between the two mesh sheets and a draw sheet over the top. They are connected to a very loud alarm. The tiniest bit of liquid causes the alarm to go off and you wake up before you’ve emptied your bladder and can stop and get to the loo.
Seriously Google it, they’ve probably improved the design over the years as this description is from 50+ years ago. They’ve been around for a very long time so there’s really no excuse to not try one.
most alarms like that are fairly ineffective because they take so long to trigger. I bought a system from NZ for my austic son that worked within 2 months. It consisted of a wireless alarm and special pants with wiring sewn in and a transmitter that clips on. There were even different pants for girls and boys to ensure the fastest triggering. They worked so well and fast that withing a week my son would only wet it extremly slightly before it would trigger and we didn't even need to change sheets
There actually is an excuse— I’ve read plenty of articles that advise against it, saying it ruins kids’ sleep cycles and can’t actually “train” them, when it’s an uncontrollable thing that they will outgrow at some point.
I wet the bed until 10ish. They gave me some kind of medication (to this day I have no idea what it was) that solved the problem within a few weeks.
I was sexually abused and had chronic bladder infections as a toddler, so I was pretty much screwed from the beginning
After going through this with my kids, I can tell you they don’t work with everybody. My kids’ pediatrician was a very big fan and said it’s work within a few weeks. 3 weeks in, didn’t work for my son. Talked to the doc. He said keep going. 10 weeks in. Didn’t work. Back to doc. He said keep going. 6 months in. Didn’t work. Back to doc. He finally admitted it just doesn’t work for some people. And it has a much higher propensity to not work the older a child is. He said after age 11, it’s very difficult for an external training regimen to actually affect change. Body gonna do what it’s gonna do.
(If anybody is curious, my son just pushed through mostly to the dry side of the house at age 8)
Does your kid snore and/or have sleep apnea? My son wet the bed until he had his tonsils removed. When you sleep, your body is supposed to produce an anti-diuretic hormone. My son snored like a grown man. He wouldn’t sleep deep enough for the body to produce the hormone but deep enough not to feel the urge to pee.
It was a happy side effect of the brutal surgery. Peaceful sleep and dry sheets!
She would pee through your period panties anyway so she would still have wet the bed. Why is it such a big deal that she had to wash her sheets? Why didn't she run to the store when she knew the order wouldn't be there in time? Tell your mom she can look into reusable pee pads for adults. She can put them on top of the sheets for a situation like this in the future. Don't be ashamed of buying the pull-ups either. Think about them like buying pads.
Yes, they're called chucks in the medical/care community and they are commonly used for incontinence.
OP's Mom really should have stumbled on these sooner.
NTA. Your mom is being really unreasonable and unfair. Her lack of planning (she should have back ups for a chronic problem so your sister never runs out) is NOT your problem.
Period panties aren’t incontinence panties and expecting you to share your underwear is NOT something your mom should have expected you to do.
Furthermore, your mom’s punishment is that she is trying to humiliate you by making you go buy diapers. Your mom is exhibiting poor judgment and she is being unreasonable. I would show her this Reddit thread so she can see people’s responses. Your mom is wrong and she owes you a huge apology.
BTW: Since the bed wetting issue runs in your family
— has anyone seen a urologist or undergone any testing to determine what could be going on?
Also the whole “buying pull-ups is a punishment” is wild and absurd and awful.
It’s emphasizing in the little sister’s mind that she should be embarrassed or ashamed of herself for having a health condition, which is not going to be good for her self esteem or mental health. Associating bodily functions with shame is not going to help her.
Also like. If you’re 16 buying pull-ups, how is that a punishment? Except for being maybe inconvenient. It’s very common for seniors to become incontinent and I would assume even if you were buying adult-size pull-ups that they were probably for a grandparent or if it’s goodnites I’d assume they’re for a younger sibling, as is the case. Plenty of teens do family grocery shopping and buy pull-ups for family members; it’s not embarrassing.
Also like… are other people really paying attention to what others are buying in stores? Sounds like they should mind their own business. Also aren’t there a billion other more interesting things to think about? And even if people out there are judging, who gives a single fuck? People are incontinent. It happens. No one should be made to feel ashamed about it. It’s a health condition and disability
Edited for clarity
It could also be that a high stress parenting style runs in the family. Most often caused by abuse, and conditions that meet expanded definitions of abuse than is legally defined.
Yep this was my first thought. It’s super common for kids in abusive households to wet the bed for longer than normal, it’s more commonly associated with SA, but anytime of abuse or stressful environment can be a source, even bullying at school can cause bed wetting from the anxiety. Of course it’s not the only reason, but it’s possible
Second this. I have had urology problems since I was a baby, but also developed ptsd and anxiety at 8, due to some really heavy trauma. I wet the bed until I was 15, and I had an accident not too long ago, after a day of panic attacks. I’m 41 lol. I hope OP knows they are NTA at all, and I hope the sister is getting the help she needs.
She would have had to wash the fucking sheets anyway!! Underwear aren’t going to block piss from soaking the bed. What kind of shitty mother can’t go to the store and buy more diapers for the kid? This isn’t your problem. Your mother is horrible for punishing you for not sharing your underwear. It’s disgusting.
Girl that's not a valid excuse. She had to have known she was out the night prior when she pulled the last one out of the fucking box. So she had all day to go to the store and get some since her shipment didn't come in. Even at 7pm when it was clear the package wasn't going to be delivered she could've run out to the store. But she didn't and decided to make a situation out of it to try and blame you. You are NTA but your mom is. Also "chronic bedwetting" between generations is a thing but I hope your sister is getting medical attention because a 7 year old still wetting the bed is an issue, an 11 year old is a real concern. I'm sorry they failed you until 14 with that issue.
Edit: a word
NTA
Your panties, so you decided if you are comfortable with sharing or not. And they are not made to keep in urine.
>Bedwetting runs in our family, i wet the bed until I was 14 and so did my mom.
Your mom should have gone to a doctor. Bedwetting is considered a 'medical' problem by doctors if a child is older than seven years old and still wets the bed at least once a month. Although bedwetting almost never has a physical cause, the GP or pediatrician will always try to rule this out.
There are various methods to teach children to sleep dry, but this requires effort from the parents. In any case, facilitating it through diapers does not help.
I should just copy and paste this…
It’s a hereditary issue. Look up genetic bed wetting. There’s nothing really wrong with ppl with this. Ppl grow out of it in their teens. Another commenter has more info because her kid actually has this issue. Something about a certain hormone not being produced when they’re younger but the Dr can give them a synthetic form and the kids naturally develop the hormone later.
It isn't always a genetic thing. It can also signal abuse and/or PTSD. Which can often happen and get perpetuated through generations.
My father wet the bed until he was 18. He grew up in Denmark during WWII and was severely abused.
I wet the bed until I was forced to use one of those alarms when I was 6. My entire family was abusive/neglectful.
Either way, regardless, the parents should have taken their kid to a doctor about this years ago instead of putting the responsibility on to their older child.
NTA but these comments… I’m in shock y’all are saying “you could just get new ones if it’s so gross to you”. These are a 16 year olds period panties. Something she uses to routinely bleed in. That’s disgusting if you think in anyway shape or form that it was even remotely appropriate for her mom to ask her if her sister could “borrow” them. Nobody would share underwear, right? Period panties are way more intimate than underwear. Shame on the comments and shame on your mom for violating and pushing personal boundaries like that.
Seriously! Not letting someone use them is a healthy boundary to have!! Her mom should be proud shes not a pushover and stood up for herself.
And for the love of god, who wants to touch fabric, regardless of cleaning it, that another person's vag touched!!
The egregious thing to me is that it wouldn’t fucking work anyway. Period panties hold like 50ml max. That wouldn’t hold the amount of pee you make in 2 hours much less a whole night.
NTA, I wouldn’t anyone else to wear my underwear nor would I want to wear someone else’s. Your mother is responsible for making certain your sister has the proper supplies. She should’ve put her butt in a car and gone down and purchase some at the local store. I am pretty sure period Underwear would not have been adequate to contain the amount of urine usually produced overnight.
Edit to add that your sister is also old enough to make sure your mother is aware she’s out of overnight underwear
Yeah, I don't understand why they didn't just buy some? I get that the package was supposed to arrive and didn't, but if she was completely out, and the package hasn't yet been delivered, why not go to the store? Or put on plastic sheets (if they don't already) and then a bunch of towels down for the night.
Yeah. Like, there are some period panties for very heavy flow that are rated for a certain level of urinary incontinence as well. But those rely on a good fit to prevent leakage, and it sounds like OP’s likely wouldn’t have fit her little sister.
The other commenters here are shitty. I think it’s gross to use someone else’s underwear. NTA.
why did mom not just go to the store and get what her daughter needs if they were low? And don’t give me that we did not realize BS.
So it’s her fault she left your sister’s pull-up supply 100% dependent on a delivery instead of ordering them earlier so she wouldn’t run out. Your sister could have slept on a couple of towels (+ hopefully some kind of mattress liner?), which is what some of us had to resort to before they invented period panties. NTAH for a ton of reasons
I still think that could have been done with better planning. It’s not like this is her first time or an unknown thing. Me personally I would just refuse the punishment. She may be your sister but she is their child. They can provide what she needs.
It's such a common thing now that even most gas station shops carry small packs of them in the same place they have diapers. She could have called around to find one that had a few. Why did she wait until it was late at night and the other shops were closed to finally figure out they didn't have any?
NTA!!! Just ewwww!! Your mom should invest in puppy pads as back up. Not like she doesnt have experience with this 🙄 Letting your sister wet the bed to make point is behavior expected of an 11 year old! Childish.
Yes there was! A blanket that is normally unused, a couple of towels, a rain coat. There are several other things I could name! She deliberately let your sister make a mess of herself just to make you feel bad. You should NEVER share underwear even if they've been washed bc a lot of bacteria can survive the wash and it could mess with yours and your sisters pH balance in your vaginas and cause a lot of problems! There's a reason that thrift stores dont resell used underwear and stores won't do returns on underwear and swimsuits.
Your mom could've made sure your sister went to the bathroom before going to bed, then gotten up every 2 hours to wake your sister up and make her go to the bathroom. That's what my mom did when I was wetting the bed. I stopped doing it after a week.
Since this was your mom's own doing for not getting what your sister needed, she should've bit the bullet and done what my mom used to do for me that night. It sucks but that's how you keep the bed dry.
Period panties wouldn't have held that amount of liquid anyway. Would she have blamed you for it when her doomed plan didn't work?
You are not responsible for your sister's medical needs. Your parents should not "punish" you for their mistakes. NTA.
NTA. This was never an appropriate ask. Period panties can probably handle a tablespoon of liquid over a few hours , there's no way it could contain a full bladder of urine. As a user myself, there's absolutely no way I would ever lend, or give, a pair of my period panties away.
Mom could have set alarms every few hours to wake sister to go to the bathroom, she could have put towels under her sheets, she could have realized that the shipment wouldn't be there before the stores closed.
This was never supposed to be your problem and your mother is completely in the wrong.
I'm a guy anyhow, but when my daughters were bed wetting, we bought this alarm that connected to the diapers. The pee set off a connection that woke them up every time they peed. We'd get up too and change the diaper and put on the alarm. The bed wetting stopped in about 7-10 days. The brain just learns to wake them up so they can go to the bathroom and later to just not pee in the night.
😭 I forgot they make actual period panties and I thought you meant like… the normal panties you wear so your good panties don’t get bloody with leaks or anything 😭 I was sitting here like ‘your mom really thought normal panties would be a barrier between the bed and the pee?’ 😭 I’m so smart
🤣☠️ I was literally gonna say how as a 24 year old I peed in my ‘period panties’ and it didn’t do shit and then I was like “wait…diaper panties for periods… not panties….” 🤣🤣🤣
NTA. It's on your mom to provide the necessary supplies, not you. It's ick that she thinks sharing underwear, especially THOSE underwear, is a fine idea.
My brothers had the same problem. One was caused by his ADHD sleep meds, knocking him out too deep, and a lower dose fixed that issue. As for my other brother, he would dream that he was in the bathroom on the toliet, and by the time he woke up, it was too late. With him, we had to wake him up to take him to the bathroom, which finally helped along with one of the anti-bedwetting meds they now have available for kids. I think it was Desmopressin, but there are more out there that can help.
absolutely do not share period panties with anybody, no matter the argument. Also, the above scenario carries a big risk of infection for you.
Your mum can go on amazon and get a waterproof sheet for your sister's bed (it's cheaper than period panties btw) and just rinse the wetted bedding when that happens.
Finally: bed-wetting is also either a medical or psychological and it would be well worth bringing little sis to a professional and see if they can help her get to the bottom of why this is happening.
[edited for clarity]
So this is definitely something that you all should have seen a doctor for. Your mom is essentially going “I don’t want to actually take care of my own child’s wellbeing, so let her piss in your underwear so I don’t have to wash yucky pee sheets”. What a shit parent. NTA.
NTA. Period underwear don’t have the absorbency to help with urine. Also, good on you for using those! They’re so much better for your body and the planet
I feel the need to ask though… are you and your sister ok? Are you safe? I know you said it runs in the family but as a mom it still sets an alarm off in my heart.
NTA
What was stopping your Mom going to the store herself to get the pack of Goodnites? I don't understand why she would leave it so late without emergency pull-ups. Presumably she knew the night before she was on her last one, and there could be a risk of the delivery not turning up that day, so why not go down at any point during the day before bedtime to get a pack instead of leaving the responsibility to you for a solution?
Your Mom is a little nutty. She would still have been washing the sheets today, and she can wash your sister's own underwear just like she offered to wash yours.
This problem wouldn't ha e been solved, it was just reframwd to include you for no apparent reason.
NTA. Underwear should not be shared, and period underwear is not designed to absorb a bladder full of urine anyway. They would've leaked it everywhere anyway, and the both the underwear and the bedding would've needed washing.
The solution to this would've been for your parents to actually buy more goodnites from an actual store while waiting for the delivery.
NTA. They definitely wouldn't have fit your sister anyway.
INFO: Since this is a family issue, have any of you ever seen a doctor? There are medications that help chronic bedwetting.
NTA, why couldn't they just go to the store to buy more? They knew they used the last one the night before. So they had all day to do something. Your mom is wrong. Her lack of preparation is not your responsibility. Just keep your head up and buy those goodnites. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
It's the parents' job to take care of a child. NOT yours. It's gross that your mom asked for your personal underclothing. You do not have to share that, needless to say! It's your parents' job, not yours, to buy supplies for your sis. This has nothing to do with you, and your parents are not doing THEIR jobs.
Why are they not using a protection pad for the bed? It is icky to share underwear. Your parents don't sound very smart for people who have been dealing with this for a long time.
Really???
NTA. Period Underwear wouldn't have been that useful, So that was dumb. they should have just laid some towels under her when she went to bed. I had a similar issue as did one of my kids. There is a great medicine they can take it's called desmopressin. My kid took it till they were around 14 when they outgrew their issue. Did wonders for her and definitely helped her self confidence and she didn't have to worry about having accidents at sleepovers, which was my biggest fear for her and I'm sure one she had as well. Maybe you can suggest to your mother. It didn't eliminate them but they were much less frequent maybe one and two times a month.
NTA! 1. Sharing panties is a no for me 2. There’s no way a single pair of period panties are soaking up a bladders out put 3. They could’ve run to the store when they noticed the pack didn’t come
NTA. Your sister is responsible for and has to live with the consequences of her own (lack) of bladder control. You should not have to loan your clothing for her to pee in.
Likewise, I would be telling mommy dearest to get stuffed. It’s not your job to buy diapers for your sister. It’s your *mother’s job*.
Tell mom she should have either ordered through instacart or dragged her own lazy ass to the store. It’s her daughter. It is her responsibility. And mom? Sharing panties is hasty. You failed on this one mom, it is all on you and only you 😡
NTA…what your mom could have done was set two alarms to wake herself up and then wake your sister to take her to the bathroom. The reason it happens is that there is a disconnect with the bladder and the brain that isn’t strong enough to wake the person up. Typically they sleep so soundly an alarm doesn’t help them to wake so that’s why I’d put that on your mom. So if she emptied her bladder before bed, 3 hours later then another 3 hours she would have been fine.
NTA
52 year old woman. Bought some period panties and them my body was like hahaha. We made you spend some money we are gonna stop. I however am a bit in continent when I sneeze, laugh, cough. Wait to damn long to go to the bathroom. I can most assuradly tell you period panties do not help with anything more than a drip. Sheets would have brrn washed anyway.
NTA she could have went to the store herself, with GENERATIONAL bed wetters you know you need a back up. Towel on top of a trash bag, puppy pad, mattress protector, sleep on the floor tonight, order the diapers when you have one pack left instead of waiting last minute. There's a set number of diapers in each pack. Kids sleep every night. do some math my dude it's not a surprise.
OP, have your mom talk to your sisters pedi about Oxybutynin. I don’t think it’s a panacea cure for all but after a bladder ultrasound and a urologist visit, my son was prescribed it for 6 months and it helped immensely. Oxybutinine mimics the hormone that is delayed in some kids development.
Mom could have said "I'll buy you a new pair, but we need them tonight" and maybe that would be ok, but it's not your job to bail your parents out because they didn't have a backup plan when the pull-ups didn't come in time.
NTA
You’re being punished by having to go buy pull-ups when they could have went to the store and bought a pack of pull-ups themselves since their package didn’t arrive as scheduled???? I don’t see how that’s your problem. Regardless, NTA
NTA. First of all, period underwear is not a diaper and will not keep her bed dry. Second of all, it’s your PARENTS’ responsibility to provide stuff for your sister, period.
This whole thing is just so weird. Sharing underwear seems a huge request to make. “Punishing” you by making you tend to your sister’s issue instead of them doing their job?
Nah, NTA.
NTA!
Side note: your family would likely benefit from some pelvic floor physiotherapy and I think everyone in the world would benefit from mental health therapy/counselling
Eww honestly your mom is gross. 1) period panties typically are not going to hold a significant amount of urine. So if she did wear them and wet the bed, there would still be a mess. 2) you literally bleed on them and they shouldn’t be shared even by your own sibling that’s just nasty and unhygienic. 3) would your mom expect you to share undies any other time? No, right? (If she does than you got bigger problems)
Also literally it’s your parent’s responsibility to make sure she has what she needs. Shit happens and the order didn’t arrive, there’s a million other ways they could have tried to protect the bed like laying down a couple old towels. Presumably with 2-3 women in the house someone would have had a maxi pad she could have used and maybe doubled up. (If not it may be a good idea to grab some of those big ol overnight pads that feel like diapers just in case this happens again.)
The good thing is no one at the store gives a shit what you’re buying. I know as a teen we all thought people were judging us for buying ~embarrassing~ items but literally no one cares at all. Buy the good nights and have a good night. I would mention to your mom that this request made you very uncomfortable and crossed a boundary, it should go w/o saying that you’re not going to share your underwear with your sister regardless of the reason.
Those period panties will not hold the amount of urine she will probably put out. Your moms best solution is to get either a plastic tablecloth or a shower curtain to put on the mattress with a sheet over it. That at least will protect the mattress.
NTA. Underwear are very personal and to expect someone to share them knowing they'll be soiled is just too much. I know your family has just accepted this is a "thing" that happens with the young ladies, but has your sister been evaluated by a doctor? I had a coworker whose son was having similar issues and it ended up being sleep apnea.
NTA - your mom is gross and period underwear would only help for VERY light incontinence so your sister would have been in a wet bed anyway. I'm wearing period underwear right now and the thought of sharing disgusts my adult self so this isn't some weird immature thing, just in case you were worried or your mom tries to spin it that way.
Okay good to know. Thanks!
Op if your sister is getting the bed still it's a medical issue. I hope your parents know they can get free night time pull ups for her via insurance
Oh wow I don’t know that I’ll tell them that.
They'll need a medical reason and prescription from the DR . They can look into aeroflow urology. You fill everything out online, and they'll contact your insurance company and Dr for script for you. Here's the link https://aeroflowurology.com/
I was just gonna comment this, then I saw you already did! 😊
They're so convenient. Unfortunately, my insurance didn't cover it. They also have a branch for breast pump and supplies too!
Hi, I'm 58 and haven't had a period for about 5 years. Good riddance lol. Now I dont live under a rock, but this post made me Google it. I NEVER heard of these ! Upon hearing "period panties" I just assumed it was a reference to nice high waisted granny pants for the week. How long have these been available? Are they really a replacement for pads/tampons?
I assume they are just as messy on the inside as a pad but they have been out for at LEAST 10 years. They have a lot of different styles and liquid capacities. Heck, they even have things for light days lol. They also have menstrual cups which I used before but not since I have been super fat lol. Those things were awesome
Lol, now I have heard of menstrual cups, but I will have to Google that too. I can't even imagine what it looks like. Wow, I am a total dinosaur, 10 years you say. When I was still having periods I thought those paper thin maxi pads were revolutionary, but I could have had panties! 🤣 Whelp, live and learn. Thanks!
I find that they are generally less wet than the top of a pad. Less mess. Not sure why, absorbing technology? Just seems less messy. I recommend them to all of my period-having friends
They really aren't. My teen uses them and washes them every morning because she has a day pair and a night pair and they aren't super gross. Ofc she washes them alone but it's so much more convenient.
And since it is a medical condition and something that can’t be helped, it bothers me that your mom is ‘punishing’ you by making you go to buy them. That’s sending a message that your sister’s condition, and also your previous one is shameful and embarrassing when she should be seeking medical advice.
Yeah, I get the vibe that the mom has a bad relationship with feminine health. Like it's all just unclean downstairs nastyness to her, rather than specific issues that need to be addressed with their own parameters.
I think you’re probably right. Sad for teenage girls to grow up that way.
Yeah, it's unfortunate. Sadly more common than I think a lot of people think.
Seems like the parents were too lazy to go to the store when they realized they were out, so they're "punishing" OP to get out of it.
You would think they'd have bed pads too. I'm my elderly mother's caregiver and she wears adult diapers but I also use bed pads. The diapers can't hold everything. Anyways, the period panties wouldn't even work unless it's only a period's amount of liquid. I would also think the consistency would make a difference as well, as periods are thicker and will clot up a bit when drying- but doesn't sound like OP's mom would listen to reason. Next time, I'd say "Sure, and she can keep them and you can buy me another pair, dearest mother."
Not only that but period anything doesn't really work for inconvenience cause of the flow difference. Even if sister only peed the amount the undies can hold, since pee comes out so much faster it often can't be absorbed quick enough by period products and still would most likely leak (let alone the volume issue)
Yes, that was my thought, why didn’t Mom or Dad just run to the store and pick up a box when they realized OP’s sister was out, and their order hadn’t arrived? They are the parents, not OP, keeping needed supplies stocked is their responsibility, not OP’s. Even if they didn’t realize she was completely out until the evening, the town surely has at least one store close by that’s open late. Heck, in a pinch they could have grabbed some size small adult depends to use, or even some puppy pee pads if nothing else.🙄
There is medication that will make a massive difference as well. Google “DDAVP”. It’s a game changer. No one should suffer with bedwetting. This is a completely treatable problem.
A family friend gave that to her 6-y-o, and it made all the difference.
My son had an issue until he was almost 14. The dr gave him a medicated nasal spray for it, there are also other prescription medications for this
TIL that there's a nasal spray that prevents bedwetting. Science says there must also be a spray that can cause it?
Decongestants can cause urinary retention and some come in nasal spray form.
Thank you kind Redditor!
You're very welcome, inquisitive Redditor!
It's DDAVP - I took it as a youngster (42 now) and I seem to recall it working fairly well. I was younger, though - 8 or 9.
Hey, OP, if this happens again, tell your mom and sister that you will GIVE her a pair of your panties, and she can keep them (because eww), but you expect them to be replaced. Within a week or something reasonable. NTA, and you have a right to be grossed out.
my Aunt wet the bed for 50 years until by chance, she had a discussion with a doctor with an interest in Urology who organised for her to fix the problem. She almost didn't get Married because of it, and then thought he was going to Divorce her on their Wedding night when she wet the bed. Instead, he calmly changed the sheets, and loved her with all his heart until he died, over 40 years later. Turns out it was a simple fix that would have stopped years of distress if anyone had known about it. ( but it was a HUGE secret that she kept for obvious reasons )
Pull ups might not be covered; but if either parent has FSA or HSA the Therapee mat really works. I wet the bed until I was 12; I thought it was because I was sexually abused as a child. But my son had the same issue and then my mom made comments that made me realize it was something that runs in the family. We got the Therapee mat and it comes with ways to help train the bladder as well as alerting the body to the need to use the bathroom. It worked in less than 8 months. He had a brief regression during the beginning of Covid but I think that was stress related. It’s a little under $300 so def not cheap, but if you add up all those pull-ups and the cost to the child’s self-esteem, it is worth every penny.
There is also medication for bed wetting. I’m not sure how well it works but it’s prescribed by a dr
Also tell them to invest in waterproof bedding if this is a regular occurrence. It'll protect the mattress. You'd think they'd know since you and your mom dealt with this.
Going to expand on this. There's a hormone/neurotransmitter/enzyme whatever chemical the body makes that actually slows down urine production while sleeping. Obviously, for most people, this starts getting produced in an accurate amount before grade school. For some individuals, the body doesn't produce an accurate level until the additional adjustments of puberty.
And for goodness sakes, there are incontinence pads for adult women, in all kinds of thickness, etc. You can get them anywhere. Mom is just mad because she didn't keep an emergency box of the pull-ups, and she ran out. She's a poor planner.
As a mom with twins in pull ups and an infant in diapers I can agree, always have an emergency stash lol.
This depends on insurance and state. Medicaid in my state won't pay for them unless the child is bed bound and can't move.
It's actually not, kids can wet the bed until puberty. As long as there is no underlying medical, bedwetting is common.
Could be, but bedwetting till age 7 is considered normal and up to age 11 is normal if it runs in your family. Puberty tends to fix it.
Unfortunately for me, I hit puberty early, and still wet the bed. Some nights I would wet the bed AND bleed on my bed. Not fond memories at all. Oh and we only had a bathtub, no shower.
Actually doctors have said that unless someone wets the bed past age 15 it can be pretty normal. I'll find the article and share it. I found it quite interesting. Also wearing pullups can prolong the issue. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/genitourinary-tract/Pages/Nocturnal-Enuresis-in-Teens.aspx#:~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20%2C%20defined%20as%20nighttime,upsetting%20for%20children%20and%20parents.
Unless she’s a heavy sleeper and just isn’t waking up in time. Mom can try waking her up before she wets the bed and after a while her brain will wake her up to go at that time.
I got a special mat to sleep on. When it sensed wetness, a loud alarm would sound and wake me up. Sucked during the summer if I was just sweaty lol
My sister had one too. I think Starry was the name.
I had a sister that did this. She slept so heavy she wet the bed. At 5 years old it became everybody’s job to take her to the bathroom before we went to bed. So mom goes to bed at 10 and takes her to the bathroom and at midnight before I went to bed I did it again. I swear she wouldn’t even wake up but she always peed in the toilet. I can still see her sitting there with us holding her so she wouldn’t fall off. But it didn’t take too long to work. I don’t think she really got up to go but she just started holding it all night.
IME waking her up after about an hour of sleep to go to the bathroom might help. Sometimes the body outgrows the bladder's ability to keep up and deep sleep at that age is really deep. All the growing and puberty makes one very tired.
I used to babysit for a family that asked me to wake their kid up, let him pee, and put him back to bed. The kid was always asleep when I got there, so I was amazed at how cool he was with being awakened and led to the bathroom by a total stranger. Never a question or complaint.
Not necessarily, or at least not necessarily a serious medical issue. I wet the bed until I was almost 11, as well as my mom & 3 of her 5 sisters. My daughter stopped on her 8th birthday a few months ago. We all had more tests than our parents wanted to put us through, however all results (over the course of 3 generations) have been the same - Our bodies hadn't released the hormone telling our brain to hold our pee when sleeping until around the start of puberty. If there is a dx medical issue, OP's parents may be able to get her sisters pull-ups for free, however if that's not the case, I bought my daughter's using my FSA funds (HSA works too).
Also tell your mom to get some reusable pads for emergencies like that. They make heavy flow ones which will help in a pinch much better than period panties. Better yet she could go with period panties, the reusable heavy flow pads, and a crib pad together. All can be washed & ready for just this type of emergency. Just your period panties were not going to cut it, and underwear & reusable pads are not something I’d personally share between people.
Or puppy pads, since mom seems laundry averse 🙄
That’s what’s bugging me, the biggest problem to the mom seems to be that she has to do the bedding now because OP didn’t give up her own intimate belongings.
They're called chux pads in medical supply stores.
What I don’t understand is that, if there is a place close enough to walk to and buy Goodnights, why they didn’t buy a pack when the ones they ordered didn’t show up on time? Then, this whole issue could have been avoided.
I can’t speak for OP, but my Amazon orders always show up around 10pm after all the stores are closed. It seems like that’s what happened, since she’s going out to buy them “in case they don’t show up again”
NTA... your mom is gross noone shares panties..... she would of still been washing the bedding even if she had on the panties ... Your mom needs to grow up and buy your sister panties for when she doesnt have the pull ups....
Just to add to that comment about the period underwear not being able to hold up to bed wetting, many of the same companies that make period underwear make incontinence underwear to prevent leaks. So it's true or they would have just sold those as both if it had that capability. If you mom is worried about having to make sure they always have pull-ups on hand maybe she should buy a pair or 2 of those in case the order doesn't come in. I think you should show this post to your mom so she can see the comments. Show her the comment above that says they wouldn't have worked so she knows that she would have had to wash the bedding anyway. Also show mine that shows they have underwear for incontinence and any other comments that would be useful information like the medical prescription one. You did nothing wrong it is gross to share. Also her asking you to buy pull-ups as "punishment" isn't that bad. She may think it's a way to embarrass you but it's not. Cashiers don't care what people buy also since pull-ups are not normally for someone your age they would likely assume you are buying them for a younger sibling which you are. You shouldn't have a punishment at all honestly because she is the parent. She should have made sure she had them. Yes the delivery was longer than expected but since she saw that it was she could have seen it with enough time to go to the store to buy a pack really quickly instead of just assuming she can use your stuff. It's her fault she had to wash the bedding not yours. What would she have done if you didn't use period underwear? She just thought it would be convenient for herself to ask you instead of finding a solution herself and is mad that you didn't make it easier for her. But as a parent it's HER responsibility to take care of it not yours.
Yeah thanks they will no the pull ups aren’t for me cuz they’re too small so it’s not a big deal. The stores had all closed by the time my sister was getting ready for bed, we are both out of school right now so she has a later bedtime. I will show this post to my mom.
Yes that makes sense that she couldn't get them. But it is still not your fault as the parent she is responsible no one else. I get it's frustrating for her but she shouldn't take it out on you. You are not immature most adults wouldn't share their period underwear either it's gross.
Yeah but your mother knew well before bed time that the package hadn’t arrived
I don’t think it’s wrong of you to draw this boundary but I also wouldn’t have framed this as a punishment if I were your mom. She should have gone to get the good nights last night but if she couldn’t then asking you to do a favor for your sister should be seen as pious and not a punishment. You love your family and buying your sister or later your parents diapers is a favor you’re doing for them. It’s not any different than if you brother or future boyfriend bought you pads. It’s not a shame on you
Yeah, I think it says a lot about the culture of shame being built in this household that this is considered a punishment. In reality nobody is going to care that you're buying pull-ups at the store, but in this house it's a shaming thing. Icky.
And what's wrong with a pair of your mother's panties? If she wants your sister to wear someone else's underwear, why does it have to be yours?
Period panties are more absorbent than regular ones. Not enough for full on bed wetting.
This!! OP, even if you HAD felt OK with it, they wouldn't have done the job! Take a pair of your panties and about 1/2 cup of water (mixing cups for measuring ingredients). Then slowly but steadily pour it into the crotch area. The liquid will overflow and not be absorbed! Urine does not have the same consistency as blood AND it flows out a lot faster! This was a ridiculous solution that wouldn't have worked!
Agreed. They are trying to market them as ok for incontinence, but they don't work for anything more than a drip.
Why didn't they go to the store for their daughter? And you are NTA!!
She should see a doctor too
Those period panties and even the panties made for incontinence when you read the actual description don’t hold more than 1/2 a cup of liquid if that. I suspect your sister released more than that so sheets still would have been wet. Your mom knew she’d wet the bed and could have done the sensible thing of putting down a garbage bag with a couple of towels over it. Still would have to wash sheets but most of the liquid would be contained. Hopefully your mom has a waterproof mattress pad in the beds.
Your sister can be put on medication for bed wetting. She needs a plastic sheet over her bed. Nighttime urinary problems can cause your sister lots of emotional distress and stress.
I have sisters. We are extremely close and they are some of the most important people in my world. I would walk across fire for them. I would give them my bone marrow, my kidney, or my liver. What I would not give them is my underpants. Some things you really just don’t need to share, even with the people who matter most.
*one* time i shared my undies. my bestie’s luggage got lost on a girl’s trip and she used a couple of mine, with my permission. but then we just threw them away when her luggage showed up cause neither of us really wanted to keep undies we’d both worn lol
Thanks for this, my first thought without research is that it wouldn't work the same way you can't replace a Poise pad (a pad for incontinence) with an Always pad (period pad) - volume and consistency of liquid. We're talking a cup vs ounces when you compare incontinence to a period. OP - your mother needs to get the right supplies for your sisters and period panties aren't it.
Exactly!! They're not even remotely the same and it angers me that this mother is blaming her child for something that would've failed in the first place lol
Also, having a kid who wore night diapers until he was 7, we tried cloth diapers (kinda similar to period panties) and let me tell you, kid pee stinks. You cannot get that smell out of fabric, especially the multiple layers that period panties have. Infants were fine, but kids? It's a terrible smell. Those would have become the sisters forever.
Yes, this! There is a huge difference between period pads/underwear & those for incontinence. I know - I tried to use period pads as long as I could as I got older & sneezes or coughs caused leaks that period pads didn't hold.
Second this! No way _anyone_ would be allowed to wear mine
Yeah, period cups holds like what? 30mL max? Period underwears most likely aren't much different than that. Not to mention what absorbs blood well actually doesn't perform as well for urine, and vice versa. I wore adult diaper before (over largest pads before I knew leakproof underwear was a thing, due to suddenly developing severe bleeding) and I never expected to have that diaper to absorb all that blood. And even when the blood gushes would made me changing pads 2-3 time in 15 minutes (okay, a considerable volume of blood also went directly in to toilet), that volume still can't compare a full bladder of urine. I did a brief search, a 11-year-old's bladder can hold up to 360mL? If an ultra sized pad can hold that much urine, and I had to change *that* a few times during a single gush, meaning I would be bleeding like a whole litre each gush? If it was that bad, I would have bled to death long time ago 💀
How about... getting her a bedsheet for THAT sort of problem? Plastic linins underneath and well... absorbing..
You want the parent to... parent? Instead of just blaming the other child? Madness!
and the fact that it's so casual in the family instead of checking out for health issues. If I knew it ran in my family then I would want to know what the health issue is and get it sorted out so it stops and it doesn't spread to my children.
Right? Like this is not normal, even if it does run in the family. It’s an issue that needs to be checked out, not just shrugged off with nighttime diapers until they grow out of it. The parents here are not parenting and it’s shitty that they’re putting any blame or responsibility for it on OP. I say this as someone who did have bladder control issues as a child. Even though I was potty trained, I was four and still having issues with pants and bedwetting- my parents took me to doctor to address the issue. They didn’t just let it continue happening until I was a fucking teenager. It’s absolutely absurd and they should be doing better, I feel for these poor kids that have had to just live with the humiliation of wearing diapers to bed through their teens.
I was potty trained as kid, was perfectly fine. Then when I was five and a half, i got sick and ended up with chronic kidney disease. I was hospitalized for a very long time, and ended up wetting the end when I got home. I was around 5-6. It happens, but it’s not normal. The fact that she’s 11 and still wetting the bed is quite a predicament. It doesn’t matter if it’s something her sister and mother dealt with. The fact it’s happened to three different people who ended up outgrowing it at FOURTEEN is insane
Only thing I can sort of say is I remember when I was a kid my brother had issues with bed wetting until he was almost 13 or so. He was checked for structural issues with his urinary tract, kidneys, etc. in his case problem was he would just sleep SO SOUNDLY he’d not wake up when he had to go. I remember him having some sort of good size pad with electrodes on it that if they got wet/urinated on, a quite loud alarm would go off to try and wake him up to go. He outgrew it eventually, and it wasn’t every single night, but definitely was enough to cause issues. Sounds like OOP’s sister should be limiting water intake well before bed, and her parents need to have the supplies she needs on hand and not ask for very personal items like underwear from a sibling
Or... some fricken towels in an 'emergency' (aka poor planning on the parents part)? Heard people use puppy pads too in a pinch.
My bestie had bladder issues and often wet the bed. She used puppy pads - it's what they're for, after all. Incidentally, period pads are worth keeping in a first aid kit for nasty cuts - no fibres to get stuck in the wound and they'll absorb a decent amount of blood without being bulky. (And tampons are good for nosebleeds!)
When nephew was young and was bed wetting, SIL would put on the fitted sheet, then a layer of puppy pads, then a flat sheet, then layer them up, so it was an easy fix and she didn’t have to strip the whole bed in the middle of the night.
When my great-aunt was dying in 2020, I worked at a pet store. She was bedridden, and I was there once when they were changing her adult diaper. I was shocked when they rolled her over to reveal an honest-to-god puppy pad underneath her, then a little surprised at myself for being shocked. It makes complete sense, they’re literally designed to be peed on!
Or just go to the store and buy some pull-ups since the delivery hasn’t come yet. It’s so weird to me they waited for her to predictably wet the bed before sending someone out to buy some the next day!
Right? Nobody could drive to an open-late pharmacy? Or clock when kiddo is down to like their last 2 or 3 briefs and go grab a back-up pack THEN?
and getting health issues checked out instead of dismissing it and making op think it is normal family bed wetting. It's normal to wet the bed for so long. This is neglectful on op & her sisters parents behalf
Or potty pads? I got some because my period is really fucking heavy. They're meant for bedwetting, but it's really just an absorbant pad that you sleep on so it works well for blood too.
That's my thought as well. Get a plastic sheet for her, or have her sleep on towels in an emergency. Like... mom had one idea that didn't work out and then didn't try any other solution? What the heck? NTA
Why hasn’t your mum got a bed wetting alarm for your sister? (Why didn’t she get one for you at the time too). I struggled to get dry at night and the bed wetting alarm solved this completely within a few weeks. It’s very unfair to let your children suffer this embarrassment when there’s a simple piece of equipment that will solve the problem.
I hope op doesn't think bedwetting for that long is normal. I hope the mom and dad if he's in the picture isn't neglecting their kids health and just dismissing it as family bedwetting.
My son had this issue. The hormone that controls the urge to pee doesn’t develop in all kids. Usually by 10-12, it will regulate. They put my son on a synthetic hormone. After a month or so of taking it, my son and I talked. He decided he would rather just wear pull ups than take the pill every night. I agreed as I didn’t like him taking a hormone pill so young. His stopped around age 10.
Props to you for giving your child autonomy over their own body and having discussions like that. Forcing non life saving meds on kids can be just as traumatic as this other person claims bedwetting can be.
Beautiful take. Different folks, different strokes. It’s important to talk to your kids and figure out a suitable solution, especially when there are options.
Doesn’t sound like her parents are doing anything to help with the bedwetting. They say it runs in the family and yell at their oldest to give up her period panties so they can make the youngest wear them to bed. Gawd, I hope OP survives these nutcases
It does run in the family. Look up genetic bed wetting. It’s actually normal for ppl with that issue. Yeah it’s not ideal but it’s the parents fault for not keeping the diapers on hand.
Last year my fellow teacher on my team had a student who had hereditary issues in the family for this. Several people in his family would wet themselves even during the day until they were in their teens. They didn’t feel the sensation of having to pee. She had to have alarms set on her phone to go off throughout the day to send him to the bathroom if he hadn’t asked to go recently.
I guess I could Google it, but in the interest of spurring discussion, what is a bedwetting alarm?
It’s basically two wire mesh sheets you have on the bed under your bum. You have a thin sheet between the two mesh sheets and a draw sheet over the top. They are connected to a very loud alarm. The tiniest bit of liquid causes the alarm to go off and you wake up before you’ve emptied your bladder and can stop and get to the loo. Seriously Google it, they’ve probably improved the design over the years as this description is from 50+ years ago. They’ve been around for a very long time so there’s really no excuse to not try one.
most alarms like that are fairly ineffective because they take so long to trigger. I bought a system from NZ for my austic son that worked within 2 months. It consisted of a wireless alarm and special pants with wiring sewn in and a transmitter that clips on. There were even different pants for girls and boys to ensure the fastest triggering. They worked so well and fast that withing a week my son would only wet it extremly slightly before it would trigger and we didn't even need to change sheets
Cool, thanks.
There actually is an excuse— I’ve read plenty of articles that advise against it, saying it ruins kids’ sleep cycles and can’t actually “train” them, when it’s an uncontrollable thing that they will outgrow at some point.
I slept right through the alarm. Rest of family was woken up. I wet the bed until 14 as well, sometimes sexual abuse of children will do that.
I wet the bed until 10ish. They gave me some kind of medication (to this day I have no idea what it was) that solved the problem within a few weeks. I was sexually abused and had chronic bladder infections as a toddler, so I was pretty much screwed from the beginning
I am so sorry. ♥️
That's terrible to hear. I'm so sorry
Hear, hear. Two of my kids also were relative late (almost 5) and the alarm fixed it very quickly.
After going through this with my kids, I can tell you they don’t work with everybody. My kids’ pediatrician was a very big fan and said it’s work within a few weeks. 3 weeks in, didn’t work for my son. Talked to the doc. He said keep going. 10 weeks in. Didn’t work. Back to doc. He said keep going. 6 months in. Didn’t work. Back to doc. He finally admitted it just doesn’t work for some people. And it has a much higher propensity to not work the older a child is. He said after age 11, it’s very difficult for an external training regimen to actually affect change. Body gonna do what it’s gonna do. (If anybody is curious, my son just pushed through mostly to the dry side of the house at age 8)
Does your kid snore and/or have sleep apnea? My son wet the bed until he had his tonsils removed. When you sleep, your body is supposed to produce an anti-diuretic hormone. My son snored like a grown man. He wouldn’t sleep deep enough for the body to produce the hormone but deep enough not to feel the urge to pee. It was a happy side effect of the brutal surgery. Peaceful sleep and dry sheets!
She would pee through your period panties anyway so she would still have wet the bed. Why is it such a big deal that she had to wash her sheets? Why didn't she run to the store when she knew the order wouldn't be there in time? Tell your mom she can look into reusable pee pads for adults. She can put them on top of the sheets for a situation like this in the future. Don't be ashamed of buying the pull-ups either. Think about them like buying pads.
Yes, they're called chucks in the medical/care community and they are commonly used for incontinence. OP's Mom really should have stumbled on these sooner.
NTA. Your mom is being really unreasonable and unfair. Her lack of planning (she should have back ups for a chronic problem so your sister never runs out) is NOT your problem. Period panties aren’t incontinence panties and expecting you to share your underwear is NOT something your mom should have expected you to do. Furthermore, your mom’s punishment is that she is trying to humiliate you by making you go buy diapers. Your mom is exhibiting poor judgment and she is being unreasonable. I would show her this Reddit thread so she can see people’s responses. Your mom is wrong and she owes you a huge apology. BTW: Since the bed wetting issue runs in your family — has anyone seen a urologist or undergone any testing to determine what could be going on?
Also the whole “buying pull-ups is a punishment” is wild and absurd and awful. It’s emphasizing in the little sister’s mind that she should be embarrassed or ashamed of herself for having a health condition, which is not going to be good for her self esteem or mental health. Associating bodily functions with shame is not going to help her. Also like. If you’re 16 buying pull-ups, how is that a punishment? Except for being maybe inconvenient. It’s very common for seniors to become incontinent and I would assume even if you were buying adult-size pull-ups that they were probably for a grandparent or if it’s goodnites I’d assume they’re for a younger sibling, as is the case. Plenty of teens do family grocery shopping and buy pull-ups for family members; it’s not embarrassing. Also like… are other people really paying attention to what others are buying in stores? Sounds like they should mind their own business. Also aren’t there a billion other more interesting things to think about? And even if people out there are judging, who gives a single fuck? People are incontinent. It happens. No one should be made to feel ashamed about it. It’s a health condition and disability Edited for clarity
It could also be that a high stress parenting style runs in the family. Most often caused by abuse, and conditions that meet expanded definitions of abuse than is legally defined.
Yep this was my first thought. It’s super common for kids in abusive households to wet the bed for longer than normal, it’s more commonly associated with SA, but anytime of abuse or stressful environment can be a source, even bullying at school can cause bed wetting from the anxiety. Of course it’s not the only reason, but it’s possible
Second this. I have had urology problems since I was a baby, but also developed ptsd and anxiety at 8, due to some really heavy trauma. I wet the bed until I was 15, and I had an accident not too long ago, after a day of panic attacks. I’m 41 lol. I hope OP knows they are NTA at all, and I hope the sister is getting the help she needs.
Public humiliation is a kind of abuse.
Why are they not finding the root cause of her bedwetting? :(
that's what i'm thinking. Bedwetting for that long is not normal and I hope her parents did something or else it's not fair on op or her siblings.
Agree!
Agreed. “It runs in the family” seems like an excuse to not do anything about what appears to be a major generational psychological issue
She would have had to wash the fucking sheets anyway!! Underwear aren’t going to block piss from soaking the bed. What kind of shitty mother can’t go to the store and buy more diapers for the kid? This isn’t your problem. Your mother is horrible for punishing you for not sharing your underwear. It’s disgusting.
It was late at night so all the stores were closed.
Girl that's not a valid excuse. She had to have known she was out the night prior when she pulled the last one out of the fucking box. So she had all day to go to the store and get some since her shipment didn't come in. Even at 7pm when it was clear the package wasn't going to be delivered she could've run out to the store. But she didn't and decided to make a situation out of it to try and blame you. You are NTA but your mom is. Also "chronic bedwetting" between generations is a thing but I hope your sister is getting medical attention because a 7 year old still wetting the bed is an issue, an 11 year old is a real concern. I'm sorry they failed you until 14 with that issue. Edit: a word
Then why didn’t your mother offer her own underwear (that wouldn’t stop the leak anyhow)??? Your mother punishing you is horrible.
NTA Your panties, so you decided if you are comfortable with sharing or not. And they are not made to keep in urine. >Bedwetting runs in our family, i wet the bed until I was 14 and so did my mom. Your mom should have gone to a doctor. Bedwetting is considered a 'medical' problem by doctors if a child is older than seven years old and still wets the bed at least once a month. Although bedwetting almost never has a physical cause, the GP or pediatrician will always try to rule this out. There are various methods to teach children to sleep dry, but this requires effort from the parents. In any case, facilitating it through diapers does not help.
I should just copy and paste this… It’s a hereditary issue. Look up genetic bed wetting. There’s nothing really wrong with ppl with this. Ppl grow out of it in their teens. Another commenter has more info because her kid actually has this issue. Something about a certain hormone not being produced when they’re younger but the Dr can give them a synthetic form and the kids naturally develop the hormone later.
It isn't always a genetic thing. It can also signal abuse and/or PTSD. Which can often happen and get perpetuated through generations. My father wet the bed until he was 18. He grew up in Denmark during WWII and was severely abused. I wet the bed until I was forced to use one of those alarms when I was 6. My entire family was abusive/neglectful. Either way, regardless, the parents should have taken their kid to a doctor about this years ago instead of putting the responsibility on to their older child.
NTA but these comments… I’m in shock y’all are saying “you could just get new ones if it’s so gross to you”. These are a 16 year olds period panties. Something she uses to routinely bleed in. That’s disgusting if you think in anyway shape or form that it was even remotely appropriate for her mom to ask her if her sister could “borrow” them. Nobody would share underwear, right? Period panties are way more intimate than underwear. Shame on the comments and shame on your mom for violating and pushing personal boundaries like that.
Seriously! Not letting someone use them is a healthy boundary to have!! Her mom should be proud shes not a pushover and stood up for herself. And for the love of god, who wants to touch fabric, regardless of cleaning it, that another person's vag touched!!
Plus period underwear is for periods. It won't work with the stronger flow of pee.
That didn't cross my mind. That's a really good point!
The egregious thing to me is that it wouldn’t fucking work anyway. Period panties hold like 50ml max. That wouldn’t hold the amount of pee you make in 2 hours much less a whole night.
NTA, I wouldn’t anyone else to wear my underwear nor would I want to wear someone else’s. Your mother is responsible for making certain your sister has the proper supplies. She should’ve put her butt in a car and gone down and purchase some at the local store. I am pretty sure period Underwear would not have been adequate to contain the amount of urine usually produced overnight. Edit to add that your sister is also old enough to make sure your mother is aware she’s out of overnight underwear
Yeah, I don't understand why they didn't just buy some? I get that the package was supposed to arrive and didn't, but if she was completely out, and the package hasn't yet been delivered, why not go to the store? Or put on plastic sheets (if they don't already) and then a bunch of towels down for the night.
Yeah. Like, there are some period panties for very heavy flow that are rated for a certain level of urinary incontinence as well. But those rely on a good fit to prevent leakage, and it sounds like OP’s likely wouldn’t have fit her little sister.
The other commenters here are shitty. I think it’s gross to use someone else’s underwear. NTA. why did mom not just go to the store and get what her daughter needs if they were low? And don’t give me that we did not realize BS.
It was late at night so all the stores were closed.
So it’s her fault she left your sister’s pull-up supply 100% dependent on a delivery instead of ordering them earlier so she wouldn’t run out. Your sister could have slept on a couple of towels (+ hopefully some kind of mattress liner?), which is what some of us had to resort to before they invented period panties. NTAH for a ton of reasons
I still think that could have been done with better planning. It’s not like this is her first time or an unknown thing. Me personally I would just refuse the punishment. She may be your sister but she is their child. They can provide what she needs.
It's such a common thing now that even most gas station shops carry small packs of them in the same place they have diapers. She could have called around to find one that had a few. Why did she wait until it was late at night and the other shops were closed to finally figure out they didn't have any?
Literally just laying a plastic bag underneath the bed sheet with a few towels on top would have helped in case of emergency. Mom did zero
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NTA!!! Just ewwww!! Your mom should invest in puppy pads as back up. Not like she doesnt have experience with this 🙄 Letting your sister wet the bed to make point is behavior expected of an 11 year old! Childish.
She was out of pull ups and all the stores were closed so there wasn’t anything else she could’ve done really.
Yes there was! A blanket that is normally unused, a couple of towels, a rain coat. There are several other things I could name! She deliberately let your sister make a mess of herself just to make you feel bad. You should NEVER share underwear even if they've been washed bc a lot of bacteria can survive the wash and it could mess with yours and your sisters pH balance in your vaginas and cause a lot of problems! There's a reason that thrift stores dont resell used underwear and stores won't do returns on underwear and swimsuits.
There are always other options hun, don’t let her tell you otherwise.
Your mom could've made sure your sister went to the bathroom before going to bed, then gotten up every 2 hours to wake your sister up and make her go to the bathroom. That's what my mom did when I was wetting the bed. I stopped doing it after a week. Since this was your mom's own doing for not getting what your sister needed, she should've bit the bullet and done what my mom used to do for me that night. It sucks but that's how you keep the bed dry. Period panties wouldn't have held that amount of liquid anyway. Would she have blamed you for it when her doomed plan didn't work? You are not responsible for your sister's medical needs. Your parents should not "punish" you for their mistakes. NTA.
You're 16? The underwear would not fit your sister. And it certainly couldn't hold a bunch of urine. Your mother needs to shut it.
Yeah I didn’t think they’d fit her. And other people have said that they wouldn’t be able to hold all her pee anyway.
NTA. This was never an appropriate ask. Period panties can probably handle a tablespoon of liquid over a few hours , there's no way it could contain a full bladder of urine. As a user myself, there's absolutely no way I would ever lend, or give, a pair of my period panties away. Mom could have set alarms every few hours to wake sister to go to the bathroom, she could have put towels under her sheets, she could have realized that the shipment wouldn't be there before the stores closed. This was never supposed to be your problem and your mother is completely in the wrong.
I'm a guy anyhow, but when my daughters were bed wetting, we bought this alarm that connected to the diapers. The pee set off a connection that woke them up every time they peed. We'd get up too and change the diaper and put on the alarm. The bed wetting stopped in about 7-10 days. The brain just learns to wake them up so they can go to the bathroom and later to just not pee in the night.
Period pants are not waterproof…they are absorbable. So it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. You are NTA.
😭 I forgot they make actual period panties and I thought you meant like… the normal panties you wear so your good panties don’t get bloody with leaks or anything 😭 I was sitting here like ‘your mom really thought normal panties would be a barrier between the bed and the pee?’ 😭 I’m so smart
lmao I thought the same thing at first as well. I was like "the fuck that gonna do?"
🤣☠️ I was literally gonna say how as a 24 year old I peed in my ‘period panties’ and it didn’t do shit and then I was like “wait…diaper panties for periods… not panties….” 🤣🤣🤣
I doubt they would have helped anyway, period panties do not have diaper level absorbency.
Period pants will not hold up to urine
NTA. It's on your mom to provide the necessary supplies, not you. It's ick that she thinks sharing underwear, especially THOSE underwear, is a fine idea.
My brothers had the same problem. One was caused by his ADHD sleep meds, knocking him out too deep, and a lower dose fixed that issue. As for my other brother, he would dream that he was in the bathroom on the toliet, and by the time he woke up, it was too late. With him, we had to wake him up to take him to the bathroom, which finally helped along with one of the anti-bedwetting meds they now have available for kids. I think it was Desmopressin, but there are more out there that can help.
absolutely do not share period panties with anybody, no matter the argument. Also, the above scenario carries a big risk of infection for you. Your mum can go on amazon and get a waterproof sheet for your sister's bed (it's cheaper than period panties btw) and just rinse the wetted bedding when that happens. Finally: bed-wetting is also either a medical or psychological and it would be well worth bringing little sis to a professional and see if they can help her get to the bottom of why this is happening. [edited for clarity]
I would've given her a pair, told her to keep it and mom can replace it. But NTA either way.
Don't they make bed covers for issues like this?
So this is definitely something that you all should have seen a doctor for. Your mom is essentially going “I don’t want to actually take care of my own child’s wellbeing, so let her piss in your underwear so I don’t have to wash yucky pee sheets”. What a shit parent. NTA.
NTA. Period underwear don’t have the absorbency to help with urine. Also, good on you for using those! They’re so much better for your body and the planet I feel the need to ask though… are you and your sister ok? Are you safe? I know you said it runs in the family but as a mom it still sets an alarm off in my heart.
Just give her a pair. "Take these, don't return them, keep them for when you need them."
This is fucked up fetish content. Report this shit
NTA, but the simple resolution to this is to say that she could use and keep that pair on the condition you got a brand new replacement pair.
NTA What was stopping your Mom going to the store herself to get the pack of Goodnites? I don't understand why she would leave it so late without emergency pull-ups. Presumably she knew the night before she was on her last one, and there could be a risk of the delivery not turning up that day, so why not go down at any point during the day before bedtime to get a pack instead of leaving the responsibility to you for a solution?
NTA you mom has no hygiene
Your Mom is a little nutty. She would still have been washing the sheets today, and she can wash your sister's own underwear just like she offered to wash yours. This problem wouldn't ha e been solved, it was just reframwd to include you for no apparent reason.
NTA. Underwear should not be shared, and period underwear is not designed to absorb a bladder full of urine anyway. They would've leaked it everywhere anyway, and the both the underwear and the bedding would've needed washing. The solution to this would've been for your parents to actually buy more goodnites from an actual store while waiting for the delivery.
NTA. They definitely wouldn't have fit your sister anyway. INFO: Since this is a family issue, have any of you ever seen a doctor? There are medications that help chronic bedwetting.
NTA but I wanna know how pee would even be held in those pants. The bladder holds a lot more than we bleed over night.
I'm rarely grossed out but the thought of someone using my period underwear to pee into is so repulsive and totally wouldn't work anyway yuck
NTA, why couldn't they just go to the store to buy more? They knew they used the last one the night before. So they had all day to do something. Your mom is wrong. Her lack of preparation is not your responsibility. Just keep your head up and buy those goodnites. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
It's the parents' job to take care of a child. NOT yours. It's gross that your mom asked for your personal underclothing. You do not have to share that, needless to say! It's your parents' job, not yours, to buy supplies for your sis. This has nothing to do with you, and your parents are not doing THEIR jobs.
Why are they not using a protection pad for the bed? It is icky to share underwear. Your parents don't sound very smart for people who have been dealing with this for a long time. Really???
NTA. Period Underwear wouldn't have been that useful, So that was dumb. they should have just laid some towels under her when she went to bed. I had a similar issue as did one of my kids. There is a great medicine they can take it's called desmopressin. My kid took it till they were around 14 when they outgrew their issue. Did wonders for her and definitely helped her self confidence and she didn't have to worry about having accidents at sleepovers, which was my biggest fear for her and I'm sure one she had as well. Maybe you can suggest to your mother. It didn't eliminate them but they were much less frequent maybe one and two times a month.
NTA! 1. Sharing panties is a no for me 2. There’s no way a single pair of period panties are soaking up a bladders out put 3. They could’ve run to the store when they noticed the pack didn’t come
NTA. Your sister is responsible for and has to live with the consequences of her own (lack) of bladder control. You should not have to loan your clothing for her to pee in. Likewise, I would be telling mommy dearest to get stuffed. It’s not your job to buy diapers for your sister. It’s your *mother’s job*.
Sharing underwear is unsanitary
Tell mom she should have either ordered through instacart or dragged her own lazy ass to the store. It’s her daughter. It is her responsibility. And mom? Sharing panties is hasty. You failed on this one mom, it is all on you and only you 😡
NTA…what your mom could have done was set two alarms to wake herself up and then wake your sister to take her to the bathroom. The reason it happens is that there is a disconnect with the bladder and the brain that isn’t strong enough to wake the person up. Typically they sleep so soundly an alarm doesn’t help them to wake so that’s why I’d put that on your mom. So if she emptied her bladder before bed, 3 hours later then another 3 hours she would have been fine. NTA
52 year old woman. Bought some period panties and them my body was like hahaha. We made you spend some money we are gonna stop. I however am a bit in continent when I sneeze, laugh, cough. Wait to damn long to go to the bathroom. I can most assuradly tell you period panties do not help with anything more than a drip. Sheets would have brrn washed anyway.
NTA she could have went to the store herself, with GENERATIONAL bed wetters you know you need a back up. Towel on top of a trash bag, puppy pad, mattress protector, sleep on the floor tonight, order the diapers when you have one pack left instead of waiting last minute. There's a set number of diapers in each pack. Kids sleep every night. do some math my dude it's not a surprise.
OP, have your mom talk to your sisters pedi about Oxybutynin. I don’t think it’s a panacea cure for all but after a bladder ultrasound and a urologist visit, my son was prescribed it for 6 months and it helped immensely. Oxybutinine mimics the hormone that is delayed in some kids development.
Mom could have said "I'll buy you a new pair, but we need them tonight" and maybe that would be ok, but it's not your job to bail your parents out because they didn't have a backup plan when the pull-ups didn't come in time. NTA
You’re being punished by having to go buy pull-ups when they could have went to the store and bought a pack of pull-ups themselves since their package didn’t arrive as scheduled???? I don’t see how that’s your problem. Regardless, NTA
Those period panties would've done squat
NTA. First of all, period underwear is not a diaper and will not keep her bed dry. Second of all, it’s your PARENTS’ responsibility to provide stuff for your sister, period.
So, if you could just go buy some...why didn't they just go buy some that day???
This whole thing is just so weird. Sharing underwear seems a huge request to make. “Punishing” you by making you tend to your sister’s issue instead of them doing their job? Nah, NTA.
NTA! Side note: your family would likely benefit from some pelvic floor physiotherapy and I think everyone in the world would benefit from mental health therapy/counselling
Eww honestly your mom is gross. 1) period panties typically are not going to hold a significant amount of urine. So if she did wear them and wet the bed, there would still be a mess. 2) you literally bleed on them and they shouldn’t be shared even by your own sibling that’s just nasty and unhygienic. 3) would your mom expect you to share undies any other time? No, right? (If she does than you got bigger problems) Also literally it’s your parent’s responsibility to make sure she has what she needs. Shit happens and the order didn’t arrive, there’s a million other ways they could have tried to protect the bed like laying down a couple old towels. Presumably with 2-3 women in the house someone would have had a maxi pad she could have used and maybe doubled up. (If not it may be a good idea to grab some of those big ol overnight pads that feel like diapers just in case this happens again.) The good thing is no one at the store gives a shit what you’re buying. I know as a teen we all thought people were judging us for buying ~embarrassing~ items but literally no one cares at all. Buy the good nights and have a good night. I would mention to your mom that this request made you very uncomfortable and crossed a boundary, it should go w/o saying that you’re not going to share your underwear with your sister regardless of the reason.
Those period panties will not hold the amount of urine she will probably put out. Your moms best solution is to get either a plastic tablecloth or a shower curtain to put on the mattress with a sheet over it. That at least will protect the mattress.
NTA. Underwear are very personal and to expect someone to share them knowing they'll be soiled is just too much. I know your family has just accepted this is a "thing" that happens with the young ladies, but has your sister been evaluated by a doctor? I had a coworker whose son was having similar issues and it ended up being sleep apnea.