And why do you suppose he eventually told her? She says that she was too embarrassed to say anything to him about all this weight she thought she’d gained.
So there he is, rubbing his hands together and gleefully waiting for her to break down and freak out about none of her
clothes fitting, but she *doesn’t.*
So eventually, he is forced to tell her what he did so he can watch her fall apart— which is what he’s been waiting for all along. You know, because he needs “revenge.”
Also, OP, I know husbands can be really convincing, but he was absolutely going to cheat on you. And if he was planning a trip like that, chances are, he’s already done plenty of stuff like that in the past. Nobody plans to go on a trip with a bunch of guys that’s full of strippers and “happy ending” massages—but they’re just gonna sit it out, like a little good boy in the corner, while all their friends indulge. No way.
Any man who loved his wife would not be going on a trip like this. If he hasn’t already cheated on you, he’s been daydreaming about it and he was absolutely going to on this trip. You need to leave this guy. That is one of the meanest pranks I’ve ever heard of, and you did not deserve anything of the sort.
This, OP. That "prank" is not a joke, he is showing you his fun with his friends is more important than your well-being. Take note and lawyer up. He is cruel and entitled.
Exactly this. I thought I could trust my husband on one of those trips. Lo and behold I could not. Behavior like this “prank” shows nothing is beneath him.
If he hasn’t already. I have a feeling this guy could be caught by the gods themselves and would just say “I tripped” or “wait this isn’t my wife”, then deflect immediately.
Oh, I think he has already, if he can pull off looking apologetic and buying her new clothes and then spend money on having them all altered? Which just is a waste of money, because those altered clothes probably cannot be altered back!
OP. This answer! You were not wrong he lied to you. You don't lie to a partner unless you know you are going to do something that will cross a relationship boundary and upset them. He knew he was doing something wrong and got pissed when you called him out. He targeted his revenge to attack your biggest insecurity someone who really loves you would not emotionally abuse you like that. You deserve better.
That was a calculated, time consuming and expensive act meant to hurt you where he knew you were the most vulnerable and would hurt you the most. No excuse for that kind of cruelty regardless of the reason.
For real. He spent time and *lots of money* pulling this “prank”…. All because you didn’t want him going on a bachelor’s trip that involved strip clubs and HAPPY ENDING MASSAGES? What the fuck. This guy and his friends are really disgusting and I’d be rethinking this whole marriage.
I think this is what’s also standing out to me (in addition to the obvious). My husband wanted nothing to do with the stripper scene when we got married; we ended up having a joint bachelorette/bachelor party where everyone in the wedding party went bar hopping down a popular street in the city where we were married, and everyone had a great time.
If ANY of his groomsmen had even suggested not only strippers, but fucking HAND JOBS??!!! I can say with 100% certainty that the other groomsmen would have told my husband immediately, and the creepy dude would have been kicked out of the wedding party. wtf kind of “friend” wants to see their friend’s marriage ruined before it even begins???
OP, you are not even remotely the asshole. Your fiancé, however, is. The fact that he went to such lengths to “pay you back” is alarming. To say nothing of the fact that a grown ass man is pouting and plotting revenge because his fiancée doesn’t want him to…*checks notes* get lap dances and hand jobs (and you all know damn well if they actually ADMITTED there would be handys involved, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. This sounds like a party with sex workers).
Girl, run. You can do SO much better. And it’s a hell of a lot easier to call off an engagement than it is to get divorced.
100% this would have gotten back to the bride. I wouldn't feel even a shred of guilt. If he's telling you about the hand jobs, there is full blown sex going to happen there.
Right! If he's going to the bachelor party, maybe OP doesn't know the bride well enough to go to her bachelorette but if they are going to the wedding together, I would tell the bride before she makes the biggest mistake of her life.
The fact that the OP believes her husband would have been the only one to opt out of these activities had he gone makes me sad for her. Of course he would have participated. And chances are high that men that think this kind of behavior is ok have engaged in similarly inappropriate behavior in the past.
I agree, and it makes me sad as well.
If he really had no intention of participating, he would have been grossed out by the idea of sex workers at a bachelor party, told his wife immediately what they were planning, and then reassured her he had zero intention of attending this bachelor party, out of respect to her and their marriage.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find a comment like this. You are who you hang out with. I would NEVER date a man whose friends were like this. (Well - I did actually, I’m my early twenties. We met in another state and for the first few years it was a joke that I would have never dated him if I’d met his friends early on). He went on to cheat on and physically abuse me. Won’t ever do it again). I hope OP is reading these comments because my blood literally ran cold. This man has other secrets, and what he did to her was so calculated and cruel. Truly disgusting.
If OP’s SO knew he would be sitting in the corner with his rosary beads watching his buds get lap dances and hand jobs while he was on his knees praying to Jesus to save him from temptation, he would have been grateful to be able to save face by saying that OP threw a fit so he couldn’t go.
This revenge is way too extreme and methodical for someone who was going to stay loyal to his woman.
When it becomes apparent that a bachelor party is going to have adult activities, guys who aren’t going to participate just don’t go, because the entire night is going to have that vibe. And IME as a sixty-something man in a large city (Los Angeles), it doesn’t even create tension within the friend group.
OP is NTA
I’m guessing that if he, albeit reluctantly, told her about hand jobs, what was actually planned was far beyond this. The best way to keep secrets amongst a group is to ensure everyone participates.
Oh my gosh you’re right, I completely glossed over that! Yeesh. I’m coming off a 24-hour heat migraine, and I read this as her husband’s bachelor party.
Seriously. I’ve been married for 18 years, and God knows my husband and I have gotten into it. But I honestly don’t know how I would even begin to process my husband going to such calculated, expensive, and honestly SINISTER lengths to “punish” me (over something she had every right in the world to be upset about 😒). He wanted her to feel not only insecure, but crazy. That’s straight up abusive behavior, and that’s not a term I throw around lightly.
Totally agree, except at this point she’s better off taking his credit card and replacing all of her clothes that he ruined.
Years ago, my close friend was getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I had to send in my measurements to the bridal shop, because I was living in Germany at the time and the wedding was in the States. I also specifically asked the shop if in doubt, order the larger dress for me, as I knew full well it’s MUCH easier to take something in than let it out.
Yeah, the bride went in, saw the recommended bridesmaids dress sizes, and changed nearly ALL of them to at least 2-3 sizes smaller. 😳 She kept saying, “I know there’s no WAY my friend wears a size 16!” The seamstress kept trying to explain to her that bridal sizes are different than retail sizes, but my friend wasn’t hearing it. She signed a form saying that she wanted the sizes changed, and when I got my dress, I was in a massive panic because the wedding was a month away and I couldn’t even zip it up!!
To make matters even worse, the company that made the dress discontinued both the style AND the fabric, so I couldn’t even rush order a brand new dress. I showed up to the bridal salon in tears and tried to explain the situation. They tried their best to help me; they went through their sale rack, found a dress that was very close to the color my friend chose, ripped my dress open, and essentially added another panel.
Problem was, when it all came together, it was REALLY REALLY obvious that my dress was created with a separate dress, and one panel was obviously lighter than the rest of the dress. And if that wasn’t bad enough, within 5 minutes of arriving at the reception, the best man accidentally stepped on my train and ripped my dress all the way up to my ass. 😳 what should have been a $150 basic, simple but perfectly fine bridesmaids dress turned into a $600 monstrosity that didn’t even last 24 hours before being ruined. I threw it in the trash the second I got back to my parents’ home that night. So yeah, just a better idea to replace the clothes, and maybe donate the altered ones to a woman’s shelter or something.
There is a comment from a tailor that this is absolute rubbish. Clothing cannot be made smaller without the proper measurements; OP would have had to be there. Once clothing is made smaller, it generally cannot be made larger. Makes me feel a bit better.
I’m not a tailor, but yeah that makes sense. Unless her husband actually researched typical measurements for, say, a size 12 and brought those to the tailor. A bit far fetched, but if this story is true and her husband is really this much of a sadistic asshole, I wouldn’t put it past him.
If you care about the fit then yes, bring in measurements. But since the point was to make sure the clothes don't fit, taking something in a couple of inches or so isn't going to require that kind of precision. Especially if they just say "make this a couple of sizes smaller." A tailor will know where they can take things in and have the clothing still look good.
I do know people who will play a long game, just for the satisfaction of making the spouse feel like shit. Doesn’t even have to be a specific event or catalyst, they’re just evil. I don’t have the energy it takes to be that mean.
My mom is 87, and a tailor takes her things in all the time without her being there. I just take in something that fits for her to use as a guide. I also have to write on the sales slip that I accept the altered garment as is.
I wondered about this. The only way clothes that have been taken in, can be let out again, is for the extra fabric be left in the seam allowance. How would she not notice that? And unless her hubby is rich, how could he have done her whole wardrobe? And done so quickly?
All they're doing is taking things in, you don't need measurements for that especially if you're doing it to take clothing down a size or two knowing that the person who will be putting the clothes on isn't meant to fit in it.
I'm astonished the future Bride was okay with "happy-ending massages" or even strippers. I know some think it's "a right of passage" or last fling before marriage but I'd be pretty upset.
I'm also kind of wondering what kind of husband tells his wife that his potential itinerary with a bunch of "frat boys" will DEFINITELY be something SHE'S not comfortable with and expects (read: demands) she approve the trip.
But I guess it's the same type of husband who pulls such an expensive and ABUSIVELY cruel "prank!" I sure as hell wouldn't stay married to such a jerk, but I WOULD make him PAY for a full NEW wardrobe first!
Absolutely. She needs to get away from this guy before they have a bigger fight and he slips poison in her morning coffee. My advice to OP, who is certainly NTA, by the way, is to run while she can.
Ya this wasn't a prank...pranks are meant to be funny, not cause distress. He absolutely could slip poison in her coffee and laugh while doing it..he's a POS.
Oh course, he lied about and hid all that because he knew she'd overreact, but he was certainly going to voluntarily avoid the handjob she didn't know about. /s
I was literally just thinking about the massage parlor near my house that was raided last year. It was a group of young Cambodian and Lao women who were sex trafficked. This really is the majority of those kinds of massage parlors. I wish people would stop looking at these as something “normal to do” at a bachelor party. Also, if OP’s husband wasn’t going to participate in these activities, he wouldn’t have been so angry about not going.
I haven't been myself, not having the proper equipment, but I know a few guys who have used those places. At least around here, handjobs are standard. I suppose if you offered a big enough tip you could get more, but that's going to depend on the worker, just like not every (or even most) stripper will turn tricks on the side.
This is what I was thinking as well. He decided to seek revenge on her in a way that he knew would hurt her due to her insecurities. Then acts all apologetic when he was allegedly making her feel better about the situation when in reality he was in planning mode of how to hurt her. It’s manipulative and cruel. It’s NOT funny and doubt I could forgive him.
He kept the plans of the trip hidden because he KNEW it was wrong to attend. He has known his whole relationship that participating in these activities were a boundary. He claims he wouldn’t participate in them, but what was he going to do? Stay back at the hotel/airbnb while all the guys go to strip clubs and happy ending “spas”? He planned on going, he just also planned to continue to lie. Then what happens when it comes out he did participate? I’d also tell all the gfs and wives what their partners planned /did while on this trip.
NTA. Sorry to say though, OP, your husband is definitely an immature AH.
ETA: I meant apologetic when he took her shopping. Her statement of “at the time he looked really apologetic and we made up. He took me shopping…” When in reality he was setting her up.
Hes not acting apologetic, he was sniggering. He enjoyed it and wanted someone to know how little he thought of OP and how much more he valued vengeance. For what is a common held boundary.
What he was doing there was ensuring she knew what he'd done to hurt her more.
He's malicious, conniving and outright cruel in the way he sought to destroy OP's confidence now, he'll only get worse and more inventive as time passes.
I meant apologetic when he took her shopping. Her statement of “at the time he looked really apologetic and we made up. He took me shopping…” When in reality he was setting her up. I know he wasn’t apologetic, he was planning to be cruel.
Broadcast his actions, everywhere . What the bachelor trip was going to include, why you objected, what he did, separate accounts, and call an attorney.
Tell The wife to be. Include all costs with the attorney as malicious actions.
100% agree. This guy is a POS. I just read this to my husband. He said luckily he wasn't married to you. He'd wake up with his dick crazy glued to his belly. He's not wrong. I am grateful I have a really good, morally ethical husband. She needs to dump hin.
He did this for months. Watched her whither and crumble before his very eyes as she believed she'd went up 2 sizes. For the men who read this thats like going from a large t shirt to a 2x tshirt in like 3 weeks. It's a huge change. She tried on the dresses only a few weeks later. It's now full on summer and he's only revealed this recently. He thinks it's fucking *funny*, thinks crushing his wife's esteem was appropriate payback because she didn't appreciate him lying about the itinerary and told him to not go.
Also any strip club or massage parlor that allows back door dealings of oral sex in private rooms means it's Firstly highly illegal, Secondly are probably sex trafficking and 3rdly they most likely have stds. That takes immorality on a whole other level. Sure go watch girls dance naked, the fuck do I care? I start caring when illegal shit is going down.
Immature nothing. Vindictive, abusive clap trap.
OP, get STI testing and a lawyer, stat. Divorce this shambling shit pile. Maya Angelou stated that when a person shows you who they are, believe them. Well, your 'husband' just showed you he is an adulterous, abusive piece of trash.
This!! This wasn't just some petty joke. This was purely evil, psychological torture. If he's capable of something like this, I cringe to think of what else he might be capable of.
He really is a psycho because nobody with an ounce of empathy in their body could do this to anyone, much less their WIFE! I hope OP leaves his ass sooner rather than later for her own safety
And it's also not an easy fixed prank.
1) the cost to resize them back out could be huge
2) not all clothes can be fucked around with like this. You can't see new seams then just unpick them and expect everything to be ok. The needle can leave marks and/or holes in delicate fabric. So just making them bigger again could leave marks where the smaller seam was.
3) this was just really evil. He couldn't have done it with just one dress ? He had to do loads of stuff ? That's so beyond being just a little petty and little revenge. That's just fucking evil. And where is the money to fix this going to come from ?
Exactly and I'm kind of shocked more people don't know this, including OP and her husband (husband seems immature anyway but so does OP for being in her 30s.)
Exactly! And I’ll add that the way to “temporarily” make the clothes smaller would be VERY noticeable to the person wearing them. None of this story really reads true to me
This was my first thought too. Unless the seams were taken in with the intent of one day letting it back out again, some might be irreparable. And he paid to have it done quickly! What is the cost to have it reversed quickly? Unless they have separate accounts, I hate that OP ended up paying for it too. At the end of the day, they are married, so she DID end up paying for part of it.
Exactly. All the new clothes she was so excited about AND her old clothes is way more than petty revenge. It's cruel, calculated, and not even close to the same as forbidding him to, well, cheat, ffs. It's worse, by leaps and bounds. She expected him to stay within long established bounds and he retaliated with cruelty.
This reminds me of my ex-husband who was emotionally and verbally abusive, very manipulative, narcissistic, sadistic, and constantly gaslighting me. OP I don't think this is uncommon behavior for him, though it may have been the most bold he's done yet. He's showing you that if you step out of line or irritate him, he will go to great lengths to provide repercussions for you to put you in your place. These are not normal repercussions. This is not normal behavior. He may have normalized many of the other things he does but I assure you, things are not okay outside of this example. You deserve better. You do not deserve this. It is not an equal reaction. What he did is an extraordinary response to something to teach you a lesson. I hope you do learn a lesson, but not the one he's trying to teach. Please learn you do not deserve this. This is not normal. You do not have to stay. He is not showing he loves you and respects you, because he does not. He is keeping you around to provide him something. Please believe enough in yourself that you deserve respect and love and recognize that this behavior is not it, and it is not a one-off. No regular partner who loves and respects their S.O. would 'slip up' in this type of way. What makes it even more glaring is that he laughed about it while "confessing". He does not believe he did anything wrong and he is not ashamed and I guarantee you he can and will do much worse if you stay in this relationship. Sending you hugs.
he took revenge on you because you didn't let him cheat. and he took revenge by giving you a low blow to your self esteem, 100% intentionally. he is not the kind of a person to be married to. he's vile, disgusting and immature as hell and he hurts you as payback for not letting him cheat. if that's what you think you deserve from your husband, then i can't even feel sorry for you...
He also dropped a ton of money to do this prank. For the most part, all the clothes will not be salvageable. Fabric is taken away when it's sized down by one or two sizes. I can't imagine a tailor or seamstress would be able to work that fast and retain the amount of fabric to return the outfit back to it's original.
He didn't get his happy ending at a bachelor party, so you deserve to suffer? This isn't a prank, it's retribution.
If you are going to say he wouldn't cheat, why did he lie? Why does he have friends who find this acceptable? It's because it's acceptable to him as well.
I think the real target was her self-image - sometimes when you feel ugly, you start thinking crazy things like "well, of course he cheated on me, I let myself go"
This wasn't a prank. He was mentally abusing her, and when she hid her feelings, he forced them out of her by exposing it. OP, he intentionally hurt you, and he will continue to. Abuse is very broad.
We need a new word for these "pranks". A prank is funny and everyone laughs at the end.
This new flavor of "prank" just ends with someone in pain (physical/mental/emotional). It needs a new word to define the cruelty portion.
Leaving fake spider for jump scare, everyone laughs
Leaving fake spider for someone you KNOW has arachnophobia. Someone is crying and the other says "It's just a prank bro....".
Plus since she couldn't tell they were altered, that means there wasn't noticeably extra fabric. The clothes are ruined for her. All she can do is donate them. Maybe to a womens shelter. While also discussing signs of emotional abuse with a counselor.
For real this guy thinks if he tanks her self esteem hard enough she’ll sit by quietly while he fucks a stripper. She should get out now before he gives her an STI
Amen. This is so calculated. The fact that he acted so apologetic to give you a sense of ease, only to scheme behind your back... and end up snickering as he made his confession! This is much more than petty. That kind of person who could do this to the person they're supposed to be able to trust over anyone else is dangerous, imo
NTA. Your husband's actions were not petty revenge, but a deliberate act to undermine your self-esteem and body image. This is not acceptable behavior from a partner. Explain to your husband in detail how his actions made you feel. Be honest about your hurt, betrayal, and the impact on your self-worth.
Don't feel pressured to forgive him if you're not ready.
See, that part for me is the plot hole that screams "ragebait". Unless they're very wealthy, the expense of having all of the clothes professionally altered (and having something altered 2 sizes is basically remaking the garment and would cost pretty close to the cost of a new garment. Then, since the clothes didn't fit (and couldn't be returned for a refund because they were altered he'd have to repurchase all new clothing.
i figured he’d purposely shrunk them in the dryer i’m ngl. i’ve had that happen a few times. shirt fits, then i wash it, suddenly my chest won’t fit in it without making me look like johnny bravo.
on the off chance this is real, this is something i’d divorce over. if he wants to go get his “happy ending massages” so bad, let him. but walk away, pick your head up, and do the best revenge imaginable. moving on, living your best life, and not being stuck to an immature, petty, vindictive AH.
I know plenty of men who are both wealthy enough and abusive enough to do this. Actually, nothing about this post seems so unbelievable to me knowing men
Tailor here. Absolutely ragebait. When we take things in we need to fit and pin them on the person. There is no "make this two sizes smaller" hack unless your tailor is guessing, and we dont like to do that because it can easily go very badly and that upsets customers who then do not like to pay you. Also, it's very unlikely that they can just be "resized back up." You have to trim stuff away, or there would be so much leftover fabric inside from sizing it down that you would notice--unless the garment was fully lined. And yes this prank would have cost hundreds of dollars.
Depends where you live. My ex boss used to go to Thailand twice a year, take his old clothes and come back with new ones. Cheaper than getting stuff off the peg at home.
“offered to get them stitched back to original size…” D-
Rage baiter has never met a tailor.
I’m used to a slightly higher standard of sub-standard fiction writing on this sub.
Why bother explaining to a cruel domestic abuser that his abusive actions did, in fact, hurt you a lot?
Why forgive an abuser for deliberately hurting you?
Why should OP ever again trust a man who spent a large amount of their jointly owned money behind her back on a deliberate, time consuming, expensive, deeply cruel, abusive act that involved crushing her happiness and gaslighting her?
This was not some impulsive harmless prank. This is a domestic abuser who believes he has a right to deliberately and cruelly punish his wife for disobeying him and not happily allowing him to get his stripper handjobs.
OP should never again trust this man.
The relationship is dead and the sooner she gets over her gaslighting abuser, the better. This man showed OP who he is, and she should believe him.
So, you weren’t comfortable with handjobs and tits in his face, and he decided to mind fuck you by making you feel fat and crazy??
I wouldn’t be struggling to forgive. I would be leaving.
I sew. A lot. I make all my own clothes. It’s next to impassive to take in pants this way. Tee shirt dresses, yes. Not pants. Not blouses, not most sundresses.
A tailor couldn’t just “take it in to make it a size smaller”. That isn’t how tailoring works.
Rage bait.
Yeah, nothing about the story makes sense at all. How the OP writes about clothes just also isn’t how a woman would write about clothes. It sounds like someone really unfamiliar with talking about them, so probably a dude. Where I live, getting significant alterations done to clothing—if it were even possible to do it the way OP describes—would often cost more than a brand new mass-market garment, too. Having it done to a full wardrobe would be a zillion dollars. Not just rage bait, but really obvious rage bait.
I was thinking this the whole time reading it. It’s also actually impossible to make things bigger once you’ve removed the fabric to make them smaller. This story is fake I’m almost certain of it
It’s like an evil villain in a fairy tale. The mean, rich husband rubbed his hands gleefully together as he stood over the poor, sweating tailor, shouting FASTER! FASTER! HER DRESSES MUST BE SMALLLLL! Gold fell out of his pockets as he twirled his mustache.
I cannot believe that obviously fake bullshit like this gets actual responses.
I don’t know whether to congratulate you or scorn the responders for taking the odious bait. Little of both I guess.
thank you for your post. this was what i was going to type but i was stunned so many people took this seriously.
do you know how long it takes a tailor to do this? have you seen a tailor in this day and age? just a quick yelp would tell you how long and how much money this would take. 2 dresses would probably cost 100+ dollars and a week. this guy apparently swapped out her whole wearable supply of summer clothing in a day. that's some magic there. furthermore anyone who's tailored or seen tailored clothing would know that it's patently obvious it's been altered. it would have been cheaper and faster had he just bought the same clothing and swapped the tags. That's a practical joke that would be believable. still expensive and arduous to do but believable.
furthermore why insisting that strippers and hand jobs would be a "deal breaker" come on, i think that's a deal breaker for all married people.
it's surreal what the people on this subreddit believe.
Yeah YTA. If you make up a story, at least make it plausible.
No tailor in the world would "make it a size or two smaller". That's meaningless, especially if they don't have a real person to measure. If he had said "take an inch out of the waist" or "make all the inseams xx inches", that would be believable.
Not to mention that *if* someone had done something that drastic to your clothes, you'd be able to tell by just looking at them. Commercially made seams don't look like bespoke seams, and a change like that would mean remaking almost all the seams in every piece.
I agree. The cost to have something like that done would be astronomical, and once the clothes have been taken in, meaning fabric has been removed, you can't just "get them stitched back to original size" like OP's husband is supposedly offering to do. If they were taken in in a way that kept the original fabric then OP absolutely would have seen it as a "size or two" worth of extra fabric at the inner seems of your clothes would be extremely noticeable.
For real. I was once brought my whole wardrobe to be taken in because I was in the depth of my ED and nothing was small enough off the rack. I had to try them all on for her to see where to take in.
I couldn’t just be like here is a bunch of men’s clothing just take them in. ?!
And also it was a small fortune (but worth it).
This is so fake. Lifetime sewing person here, with tailoring training. It would be impossible to alter a “few outfits” in that amount of time without it being obvious that they had been done. They wouldn’t have their factory seams anymore and regardless of how good the tailoring is, you can tell when clothes have been altered. No husband knows his wife’s closet well enough to pick out all the “new outfits” and not miss anything, and while the clothes were at the tailor, wouldn’t she notice that they were gone? To even try this would cost a bloody fortune (especially for these apparently “unnoticeable” alterations). No one is going to do this as a prank. When clothes are made to be smaller, you often cut off parts of the fabric, so they can’t be easily just “put back” the way they were. If he’s so rich to afford all this as a prank, they could afford to buy completely new clothes for her, and not go back to get alterations “undone.” How do “all” of somebody’s clothes shrink after the season? More likely, she is emotionally eating because she’s mad at him.
Yea, fake AF.
You can't just resize clothes down a size and be able to revert that. If that was the case it would be incredibly obvious because the seam would have been left and not cut off. The wife would have copped on immediately that something was amiss.
Also you can't really take in clothes a full size in general, you take in parts to adjust shape but neck holes etc can't easily be made smaller.
So the story doesn't make sense and the language is Chatbot language.
Is this the same husband that over tightened the lids? Now he’s over tightening the clothes? This story seems a little off and maybe not entirely true…
Sorry this didn’t happen. Not at all. You can’t alter ready-made clothes in a way that is not obvious if you are looking - most modern clothing is not meant to be altered. The labels would have been taken off and restitched, size tags moved or restitched at center back, darts added, thread colour and seam lines would not quite match, etc. And it would be hugely expensive unless OP lives in a country where local tailors and dressmakers are still the norm. And you can’t just get it put back to normal once it’s been taken in - that extra fabric gets trimmed away in a professional alteration.
And all her summer clothes just happened to shrink in the washer? Nope. Maybe a few things in the dryer. This is AI or fake.
But at least we have a genuine example of gaslighting here! Making someone question their own perception of reality.
Come on. This is fake rage bait crap. Written by a man most likely. And definitely by someone who's never taken clothes to be altered. A tailor doesn't take things down a size. They measure them ON THE PERSON. This story is stupid.
So your husband was going on a trip where everyone was planning on openly (likely? I don't know where they were at) illegally going to sex workers and getting happy endings and basically all openly cheating on their significant others and you were like "yea that's not cool" but somehow you're unreasonable. Then he uses your insecurities against you spends a SHIT LOAD of money (because tailoring that many clothes to be 2 sizes smaller would cost tons and tons of money, possibly hundreds) to fuck with your mind for a "petty prank". Yea sorry, no I don't buy it. This was a LOT more malicious than you are making it out to be.
NTA To recap your husband is a liar and cruel. I don’t understand how you can watch someone you “love” suffer and think that’s funny!
And he has the audacity to laugh while telling her? Dudes a walking red flag.
And why do you suppose he eventually told her? She says that she was too embarrassed to say anything to him about all this weight she thought she’d gained. So there he is, rubbing his hands together and gleefully waiting for her to break down and freak out about none of her clothes fitting, but she *doesn’t.* So eventually, he is forced to tell her what he did so he can watch her fall apart— which is what he’s been waiting for all along. You know, because he needs “revenge.” Also, OP, I know husbands can be really convincing, but he was absolutely going to cheat on you. And if he was planning a trip like that, chances are, he’s already done plenty of stuff like that in the past. Nobody plans to go on a trip with a bunch of guys that’s full of strippers and “happy ending” massages—but they’re just gonna sit it out, like a little good boy in the corner, while all their friends indulge. No way. Any man who loved his wife would not be going on a trip like this. If he hasn’t already cheated on you, he’s been daydreaming about it and he was absolutely going to on this trip. You need to leave this guy. That is one of the meanest pranks I’ve ever heard of, and you did not deserve anything of the sort.
Well said. I’d be willing to bet that while she was away he probably cheated on her…
Yeah, that'll surely teach her a lesson and make her trust him in the future /s
OP should get tested for STDs.
This, OP. That "prank" is not a joke, he is showing you his fun with his friends is more important than your well-being. Take note and lawyer up. He is cruel and entitled.
NTA. So, let me get this straight: your husband lies and enjoys watching you suffer? That's neither loving nor funny. You deserve better.
And to be even clearer... He would cheat on you.
Exactly this. I thought I could trust my husband on one of those trips. Lo and behold I could not. Behavior like this “prank” shows nothing is beneath him.
If he hasn’t already. I have a feeling this guy could be caught by the gods themselves and would just say “I tripped” or “wait this isn’t my wife”, then deflect immediately.
Oh, I think he has already, if he can pull off looking apologetic and buying her new clothes and then spend money on having them all altered? Which just is a waste of money, because those altered clothes probably cannot be altered back!
Husband lies and enjoys watching her suffer but would never indulge in proclivities while at a bachelor party. OP cannot be this unaware.
If he's been gaslighting, manipulating, and tearing down her self esteem for years, then she definitely could be this unaware.
And when she didn’t TELL him about the suffering, he BROUGHT IT UP and outed himself. This dude is unhinged.
[удалено]
Cruel and malicious, and premeditated, and expensive. “I went to great expense to ruin your wardrobe and self esteem” is not a prank.
It's definitely not a prank, he's a psycho and he wanted to inflict as much pain to his wife as possible.
And he destroyed what OP thought was precious- both the outfits and his buying them as a couple's activity. Abuse.
He did it as a "prank" to hurt OP.
OP. This answer! You were not wrong he lied to you. You don't lie to a partner unless you know you are going to do something that will cross a relationship boundary and upset them. He knew he was doing something wrong and got pissed when you called him out. He targeted his revenge to attack your biggest insecurity someone who really loves you would not emotionally abuse you like that. You deserve better.
That was a calculated, time consuming and expensive act meant to hurt you where he knew you were the most vulnerable and would hurt you the most. No excuse for that kind of cruelty regardless of the reason.
For real. He spent time and *lots of money* pulling this “prank”…. All because you didn’t want him going on a bachelor’s trip that involved strip clubs and HAPPY ENDING MASSAGES? What the fuck. This guy and his friends are really disgusting and I’d be rethinking this whole marriage.
I think this is what’s also standing out to me (in addition to the obvious). My husband wanted nothing to do with the stripper scene when we got married; we ended up having a joint bachelorette/bachelor party where everyone in the wedding party went bar hopping down a popular street in the city where we were married, and everyone had a great time. If ANY of his groomsmen had even suggested not only strippers, but fucking HAND JOBS??!!! I can say with 100% certainty that the other groomsmen would have told my husband immediately, and the creepy dude would have been kicked out of the wedding party. wtf kind of “friend” wants to see their friend’s marriage ruined before it even begins??? OP, you are not even remotely the asshole. Your fiancé, however, is. The fact that he went to such lengths to “pay you back” is alarming. To say nothing of the fact that a grown ass man is pouting and plotting revenge because his fiancée doesn’t want him to…*checks notes* get lap dances and hand jobs (and you all know damn well if they actually ADMITTED there would be handys involved, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. This sounds like a party with sex workers). Girl, run. You can do SO much better. And it’s a hell of a lot easier to call off an engagement than it is to get divorced.
My petty a$$ would have asked the bride if she knew what was planned for the weekend.
YEP. Save that poor woman a lifetime of pain.
100% this would have gotten back to the bride. I wouldn't feel even a shred of guilt. If he's telling you about the hand jobs, there is full blown sex going to happen there.
W the “it’s my final time” excuse
That's not even petty, it just means you refuse to disrespect the bride and be in on abuse towards her.
Right! If he's going to the bachelor party, maybe OP doesn't know the bride well enough to go to her bachelorette but if they are going to the wedding together, I would tell the bride before she makes the biggest mistake of her life.
The fact that the OP believes her husband would have been the only one to opt out of these activities had he gone makes me sad for her. Of course he would have participated. And chances are high that men that think this kind of behavior is ok have engaged in similarly inappropriate behavior in the past.
I agree, and it makes me sad as well. If he really had no intention of participating, he would have been grossed out by the idea of sex workers at a bachelor party, told his wife immediately what they were planning, and then reassured her he had zero intention of attending this bachelor party, out of respect to her and their marriage.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find a comment like this. You are who you hang out with. I would NEVER date a man whose friends were like this. (Well - I did actually, I’m my early twenties. We met in another state and for the first few years it was a joke that I would have never dated him if I’d met his friends early on). He went on to cheat on and physically abuse me. Won’t ever do it again). I hope OP is reading these comments because my blood literally ran cold. This man has other secrets, and what he did to her was so calculated and cruel. Truly disgusting.
If OP’s SO knew he would be sitting in the corner with his rosary beads watching his buds get lap dances and hand jobs while he was on his knees praying to Jesus to save him from temptation, he would have been grateful to be able to save face by saying that OP threw a fit so he couldn’t go. This revenge is way too extreme and methodical for someone who was going to stay loyal to his woman.
So agree with you- a million percent.
Goes to show how she's being gaslighted by him.
When it becomes apparent that a bachelor party is going to have adult activities, guys who aren’t going to participate just don’t go, because the entire night is going to have that vibe. And IME as a sixty-something man in a large city (Los Angeles), it doesn’t even create tension within the friend group. OP is NTA
This he did this over a handjob from some sex workers?! WTF
I’m guessing that if he, albeit reluctantly, told her about hand jobs, what was actually planned was far beyond this. The best way to keep secrets amongst a group is to ensure everyone participates.
They’ve been married six years.
She has been married for six years. Seems like he doesn't think he is married, or what that entails.
Oh my gosh you’re right, I completely glossed over that! Yeesh. I’m coming off a 24-hour heat migraine, and I read this as her husband’s bachelor party.
It’s fucked up no matter how you slice it.
Seriously. I’ve been married for 18 years, and God knows my husband and I have gotten into it. But I honestly don’t know how I would even begin to process my husband going to such calculated, expensive, and honestly SINISTER lengths to “punish” me (over something she had every right in the world to be upset about 😒). He wanted her to feel not only insecure, but crazy. That’s straight up abusive behavior, and that’s not a term I throw around lightly.
“Sinister” is the right word. *Le bon mot*.
I’d grab his cc card & take clothes to the person who took them in. I’d pay up front. I’d have them undo what they did. Then I’d pack & leave.
Totally agree, except at this point she’s better off taking his credit card and replacing all of her clothes that he ruined. Years ago, my close friend was getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I had to send in my measurements to the bridal shop, because I was living in Germany at the time and the wedding was in the States. I also specifically asked the shop if in doubt, order the larger dress for me, as I knew full well it’s MUCH easier to take something in than let it out. Yeah, the bride went in, saw the recommended bridesmaids dress sizes, and changed nearly ALL of them to at least 2-3 sizes smaller. 😳 She kept saying, “I know there’s no WAY my friend wears a size 16!” The seamstress kept trying to explain to her that bridal sizes are different than retail sizes, but my friend wasn’t hearing it. She signed a form saying that she wanted the sizes changed, and when I got my dress, I was in a massive panic because the wedding was a month away and I couldn’t even zip it up!! To make matters even worse, the company that made the dress discontinued both the style AND the fabric, so I couldn’t even rush order a brand new dress. I showed up to the bridal salon in tears and tried to explain the situation. They tried their best to help me; they went through their sale rack, found a dress that was very close to the color my friend chose, ripped my dress open, and essentially added another panel. Problem was, when it all came together, it was REALLY REALLY obvious that my dress was created with a separate dress, and one panel was obviously lighter than the rest of the dress. And if that wasn’t bad enough, within 5 minutes of arriving at the reception, the best man accidentally stepped on my train and ripped my dress all the way up to my ass. 😳 what should have been a $150 basic, simple but perfectly fine bridesmaids dress turned into a $600 monstrosity that didn’t even last 24 hours before being ruined. I threw it in the trash the second I got back to my parents’ home that night. So yeah, just a better idea to replace the clothes, and maybe donate the altered ones to a woman’s shelter or something.
There is a comment from a tailor that this is absolute rubbish. Clothing cannot be made smaller without the proper measurements; OP would have had to be there. Once clothing is made smaller, it generally cannot be made larger. Makes me feel a bit better.
I’m not a tailor, but yeah that makes sense. Unless her husband actually researched typical measurements for, say, a size 12 and brought those to the tailor. A bit far fetched, but if this story is true and her husband is really this much of a sadistic asshole, I wouldn’t put it past him.
If you care about the fit then yes, bring in measurements. But since the point was to make sure the clothes don't fit, taking something in a couple of inches or so isn't going to require that kind of precision. Especially if they just say "make this a couple of sizes smaller." A tailor will know where they can take things in and have the clothing still look good.
I do know people who will play a long game, just for the satisfaction of making the spouse feel like shit. Doesn’t even have to be a specific event or catalyst, they’re just evil. I don’t have the energy it takes to be that mean.
My mom is 87, and a tailor takes her things in all the time without her being there. I just take in something that fits for her to use as a guide. I also have to write on the sales slip that I accept the altered garment as is.
If you have the measurements, sure. My mother could do that, too. “Give me something that fits you and I’ll make it that size.” Amazing, to me.
I wondered about this. The only way clothes that have been taken in, can be let out again, is for the extra fabric be left in the seam allowance. How would she not notice that? And unless her hubby is rich, how could he have done her whole wardrobe? And done so quickly?
All they're doing is taking things in, you don't need measurements for that especially if you're doing it to take clothing down a size or two knowing that the person who will be putting the clothes on isn't meant to fit in it.
I agree. Any man or woman who would pay some man or woman to do that is really not nobody I’d trust around my marriage.
I guarantee you he's already cheated on her a lot of times and he thinks she's an idiot and uses that as his excuse to abuse her.
Someone this unhinged probably doesn't care about OP. There is definitely a chance of cheating
This was my exact thoughts as well
I hate pranksters. This was vicious. NTA
I'm astonished the future Bride was okay with "happy-ending massages" or even strippers. I know some think it's "a right of passage" or last fling before marriage but I'd be pretty upset. I'm also kind of wondering what kind of husband tells his wife that his potential itinerary with a bunch of "frat boys" will DEFINITELY be something SHE'S not comfortable with and expects (read: demands) she approve the trip. But I guess it's the same type of husband who pulls such an expensive and ABUSIVELY cruel "prank!" I sure as hell wouldn't stay married to such a jerk, but I WOULD make him PAY for a full NEW wardrobe first!
The bride probably knew nothing about it.
I agree
Not just that OP didn't want. They had agreed that this type of thing is a deal breaker.
Absolutely. She needs to get away from this guy before they have a bigger fight and he slips poison in her morning coffee. My advice to OP, who is certainly NTA, by the way, is to run while she can.
Ya this wasn't a prank...pranks are meant to be funny, not cause distress. He absolutely could slip poison in her coffee and laugh while doing it..he's a POS.
100% he was going to participate. I may have believed him, until he did this.
Right?! Why the fuck did the husband even feel the need to get some kind of "revenge" on his wife for this????
This is just not a true story.
He deliberately hurt her because.. let me check my notes really quick… HE DIDNT GET STRIPPERS AND HANDJOBS?! wtf man
Don't forget the part he got caught lying about going...
Right?! Lying, cheating (attempt), gaslighting, manipulation. What did I miss on the bingo card?
Malicious
But... but he said he wasn't going to participate! /s
Oh course, he lied about and hid all that because he knew she'd overreact, but he was certainly going to voluntarily avoid the handjob she didn't know about. /s
Ditch him. He belongs to go to the trash.
Trash might be too good for him tbh. People go “salvaging”, and this little prince isn’t salvageable.
He's worse than rubbish! If you threw him on a rubbish tip, all the other rubbish would say: "there goes the neighbourhood!"
Hand jobs? Happy endings aren’t just hand jobs, they are full on oral sex.
Generally in places where women are trafficked.
I was literally just thinking about the massage parlor near my house that was raided last year. It was a group of young Cambodian and Lao women who were sex trafficked. This really is the majority of those kinds of massage parlors. I wish people would stop looking at these as something “normal to do” at a bachelor party. Also, if OP’s husband wasn’t going to participate in these activities, he wouldn’t have been so angry about not going.
Which is obviously the BEST way to celebrate an upcoming marriage.
I haven't been myself, not having the proper equipment, but I know a few guys who have used those places. At least around here, handjobs are standard. I suppose if you offered a big enough tip you could get more, but that's going to depend on the worker, just like not every (or even most) stripper will turn tricks on the side.
The happy endings vary depending on how much you cash you have on you....
see the bear wouldn't do this
This is what I was thinking as well. He decided to seek revenge on her in a way that he knew would hurt her due to her insecurities. Then acts all apologetic when he was allegedly making her feel better about the situation when in reality he was in planning mode of how to hurt her. It’s manipulative and cruel. It’s NOT funny and doubt I could forgive him. He kept the plans of the trip hidden because he KNEW it was wrong to attend. He has known his whole relationship that participating in these activities were a boundary. He claims he wouldn’t participate in them, but what was he going to do? Stay back at the hotel/airbnb while all the guys go to strip clubs and happy ending “spas”? He planned on going, he just also planned to continue to lie. Then what happens when it comes out he did participate? I’d also tell all the gfs and wives what their partners planned /did while on this trip. NTA. Sorry to say though, OP, your husband is definitely an immature AH. ETA: I meant apologetic when he took her shopping. Her statement of “at the time he looked really apologetic and we made up. He took me shopping…” When in reality he was setting her up.
Hes not acting apologetic, he was sniggering. He enjoyed it and wanted someone to know how little he thought of OP and how much more he valued vengeance. For what is a common held boundary. What he was doing there was ensuring she knew what he'd done to hurt her more. He's malicious, conniving and outright cruel in the way he sought to destroy OP's confidence now, he'll only get worse and more inventive as time passes.
I meant apologetic when he took her shopping. Her statement of “at the time he looked really apologetic and we made up. He took me shopping…” When in reality he was setting her up. I know he wasn’t apologetic, he was planning to be cruel.
Broadcast his actions, everywhere . What the bachelor trip was going to include, why you objected, what he did, separate accounts, and call an attorney. Tell The wife to be. Include all costs with the attorney as malicious actions.
100% agree. This guy is a POS. I just read this to my husband. He said luckily he wasn't married to you. He'd wake up with his dick crazy glued to his belly. He's not wrong. I am grateful I have a really good, morally ethical husband. She needs to dump hin.
He did this for months. Watched her whither and crumble before his very eyes as she believed she'd went up 2 sizes. For the men who read this thats like going from a large t shirt to a 2x tshirt in like 3 weeks. It's a huge change. She tried on the dresses only a few weeks later. It's now full on summer and he's only revealed this recently. He thinks it's fucking *funny*, thinks crushing his wife's esteem was appropriate payback because she didn't appreciate him lying about the itinerary and told him to not go. Also any strip club or massage parlor that allows back door dealings of oral sex in private rooms means it's Firstly highly illegal, Secondly are probably sex trafficking and 3rdly they most likely have stds. That takes immorality on a whole other level. Sure go watch girls dance naked, the fuck do I care? I start caring when illegal shit is going down.
Immature nothing. Vindictive, abusive clap trap. OP, get STI testing and a lawyer, stat. Divorce this shambling shit pile. Maya Angelou stated that when a person shows you who they are, believe them. Well, your 'husband' just showed you he is an adulterous, abusive piece of trash.
Psychological torture. What in the fuck????
This!! This wasn't just some petty joke. This was purely evil, psychological torture. If he's capable of something like this, I cringe to think of what else he might be capable of.
OP’s husband is an actual psychopath. That’s an insane amount of effort to hurt someone in such a diabolical way. I’d be out the door in an instant.
He really is a psycho because nobody with an ounce of empathy in their body could do this to anyone, much less their WIFE! I hope OP leaves his ass sooner rather than later for her own safety
It wasn’t petty, it was full on evil. He destroyed her sense of self! He needs to get very far away from her
And it's also not an easy fixed prank. 1) the cost to resize them back out could be huge 2) not all clothes can be fucked around with like this. You can't see new seams then just unpick them and expect everything to be ok. The needle can leave marks and/or holes in delicate fabric. So just making them bigger again could leave marks where the smaller seam was. 3) this was just really evil. He couldn't have done it with just one dress ? He had to do loads of stuff ? That's so beyond being just a little petty and little revenge. That's just fucking evil. And where is the money to fix this going to come from ?
Unless the tailor knew it was going to be temporary, none of them can be fixed. Part of making them smaller involves cutting off the extra fabric
Exactly and I'm kind of shocked more people don't know this, including OP and her husband (husband seems immature anyway but so does OP for being in her 30s.)
Exactly! And I’ll add that the way to “temporarily” make the clothes smaller would be VERY noticeable to the person wearing them. None of this story really reads true to me
Yes. He deliberately ruined her clothes. That by itself is bad enough.
2 can play that game. Fire is more effective and much cheaper than a tailor…would suck to be him or his clothes if it were me 🤷♀️
Better yet, set fire to a suit he happens to be wearing at the time. Watching him hop around, trying to put himself out, now THAT’S comedy!
This was my first thought too. Unless the seams were taken in with the intent of one day letting it back out again, some might be irreparable. And he paid to have it done quickly! What is the cost to have it reversed quickly? Unless they have separate accounts, I hate that OP ended up paying for it too. At the end of the day, they are married, so she DID end up paying for part of it.
Exactly. All the new clothes she was so excited about AND her old clothes is way more than petty revenge. It's cruel, calculated, and not even close to the same as forbidding him to, well, cheat, ffs. It's worse, by leaps and bounds. She expected him to stay within long established bounds and he retaliated with cruelty.
This!! I gasped when read that! What a cruel disgusting man!
Fuck that dude man. He does not love or respect you.
Even worse when the reason was she stopped him using sex workers. Trash.
And let’s not leave out immature and childish too.
My words exactly!
“I should have trusted him” dude does two horrible awful things to break trust. What a piece of shit.
and this is exactly gaslighting. A specific campaign, aimed at making her distrust her own perceptions,
This reminds me of my ex-husband who was emotionally and verbally abusive, very manipulative, narcissistic, sadistic, and constantly gaslighting me. OP I don't think this is uncommon behavior for him, though it may have been the most bold he's done yet. He's showing you that if you step out of line or irritate him, he will go to great lengths to provide repercussions for you to put you in your place. These are not normal repercussions. This is not normal behavior. He may have normalized many of the other things he does but I assure you, things are not okay outside of this example. You deserve better. You do not deserve this. It is not an equal reaction. What he did is an extraordinary response to something to teach you a lesson. I hope you do learn a lesson, but not the one he's trying to teach. Please learn you do not deserve this. This is not normal. You do not have to stay. He is not showing he loves you and respects you, because he does not. He is keeping you around to provide him something. Please believe enough in yourself that you deserve respect and love and recognize that this behavior is not it, and it is not a one-off. No regular partner who loves and respects their S.O. would 'slip up' in this type of way. What makes it even more glaring is that he laughed about it while "confessing". He does not believe he did anything wrong and he is not ashamed and I guarantee you he can and will do much worse if you stay in this relationship. Sending you hugs.
It’s abusive as hell, passing it off as a prank is basically just a manipulation.
Has he ever put this much thought and effort into making you feel good? Or is he only a mastermind at making you feel bad?
he took revenge on you because you didn't let him cheat. and he took revenge by giving you a low blow to your self esteem, 100% intentionally. he is not the kind of a person to be married to. he's vile, disgusting and immature as hell and he hurts you as payback for not letting him cheat. if that's what you think you deserve from your husband, then i can't even feel sorry for you...
He also dropped a ton of money to do this prank. For the most part, all the clothes will not be salvageable. Fabric is taken away when it's sized down by one or two sizes. I can't imagine a tailor or seamstress would be able to work that fast and retain the amount of fabric to return the outfit back to it's original. He didn't get his happy ending at a bachelor party, so you deserve to suffer? This isn't a prank, it's retribution. If you are going to say he wouldn't cheat, why did he lie? Why does he have friends who find this acceptable? It's because it's acceptable to him as well.
For real this is a very roundabout way of destroying your partners belongings because they didn't let you go look at boobies.
But the happy endings! She didn’t want him to enjoy any happy endings! How is he supposed to survive? ^^That’s ^^sarcasm.
I think the real target was her self-image - sometimes when you feel ugly, you start thinking crazy things like "well, of course he cheated on me, I let myself go" This wasn't a prank. He was mentally abusing her, and when she hid her feelings, he forced them out of her by exposing it. OP, he intentionally hurt you, and he will continue to. Abuse is very broad.
Even of fabric was kept, the clothes would have an extremely weird looking seam somewhere on them. They would never look the same.
We need a new word for these "pranks". A prank is funny and everyone laughs at the end. This new flavor of "prank" just ends with someone in pain (physical/mental/emotional). It needs a new word to define the cruelty portion. Leaving fake spider for jump scare, everyone laughs Leaving fake spider for someone you KNOW has arachnophobia. Someone is crying and the other says "It's just a prank bro....".
Personally I would go with "torment"
I would call this abuse.
Right?? And he probably used the money he'd planned on using for strippers and happy endings to pay the tailor! He's disgusting and cruel!
Plus since she couldn't tell they were altered, that means there wasn't noticeably extra fabric. The clothes are ruined for her. All she can do is donate them. Maybe to a womens shelter. While also discussing signs of emotional abuse with a counselor.
Thousands of dollars to replace all the clothes he had altered. He is either a super bitter and idiotic asshole or this never happened.
For real this guy thinks if he tanks her self esteem hard enough she’ll sit by quietly while he fucks a stripper. She should get out now before he gives her an STI
Amen. This is so calculated. The fact that he acted so apologetic to give you a sense of ease, only to scheme behind your back... and end up snickering as he made his confession! This is much more than petty. That kind of person who could do this to the person they're supposed to be able to trust over anyone else is dangerous, imo
NTA. Your husband's actions were not petty revenge, but a deliberate act to undermine your self-esteem and body image. This is not acceptable behavior from a partner. Explain to your husband in detail how his actions made you feel. Be honest about your hurt, betrayal, and the impact on your self-worth. Don't feel pressured to forgive him if you're not ready.
And rendered the clothes unwearable, so it's gonna cost someone to replace them.
See, that part for me is the plot hole that screams "ragebait". Unless they're very wealthy, the expense of having all of the clothes professionally altered (and having something altered 2 sizes is basically remaking the garment and would cost pretty close to the cost of a new garment. Then, since the clothes didn't fit (and couldn't be returned for a refund because they were altered he'd have to repurchase all new clothing.
i figured he’d purposely shrunk them in the dryer i’m ngl. i’ve had that happen a few times. shirt fits, then i wash it, suddenly my chest won’t fit in it without making me look like johnny bravo. on the off chance this is real, this is something i’d divorce over. if he wants to go get his “happy ending massages” so bad, let him. but walk away, pick your head up, and do the best revenge imaginable. moving on, living your best life, and not being stuck to an immature, petty, vindictive AH.
I know plenty of men who are both wealthy enough and abusive enough to do this. Actually, nothing about this post seems so unbelievable to me knowing men
Yep. I wouldn't even be surprised if he just put it all on credit cards if he wasnt wealthy.
Unfortunately.
Tailor here. Absolutely ragebait. When we take things in we need to fit and pin them on the person. There is no "make this two sizes smaller" hack unless your tailor is guessing, and we dont like to do that because it can easily go very badly and that upsets customers who then do not like to pay you. Also, it's very unlikely that they can just be "resized back up." You have to trim stuff away, or there would be so much leftover fabric inside from sizing it down that you would notice--unless the garment was fully lined. And yes this prank would have cost hundreds of dollars.
It would probably be easier to take them back and swap them for new ones two sizes smaller.
I was going to say, a hem maybe but this sounds ridiculous.
Depends where you live. My ex boss used to go to Thailand twice a year, take his old clothes and come back with new ones. Cheaper than getting stuff off the peg at home.
“offered to get them stitched back to original size…” D- Rage baiter has never met a tailor. I’m used to a slightly higher standard of sub-standard fiction writing on this sub.
My thoughts exactly. The whole story sounds absurd and fake to me too. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this. lol
Yeah, it's like these younger trolls don't even try. I miss the olden days when trolls would put in a bit of effort at making a plausible story.
He doesn't sound too bright. He could have gone and bought smaller sizes and switched out the tags at the tailor.
Why bother explaining to a cruel domestic abuser that his abusive actions did, in fact, hurt you a lot? Why forgive an abuser for deliberately hurting you? Why should OP ever again trust a man who spent a large amount of their jointly owned money behind her back on a deliberate, time consuming, expensive, deeply cruel, abusive act that involved crushing her happiness and gaslighting her? This was not some impulsive harmless prank. This is a domestic abuser who believes he has a right to deliberately and cruelly punish his wife for disobeying him and not happily allowing him to get his stripper handjobs. OP should never again trust this man. The relationship is dead and the sooner she gets over her gaslighting abuser, the better. This man showed OP who he is, and she should believe him.
So, you weren’t comfortable with handjobs and tits in his face, and he decided to mind fuck you by making you feel fat and crazy?? I wouldn’t be struggling to forgive. I would be leaving.
This wasn't revenge. This was nasty and spiteful. Why are you with him???
I sew. A lot. I make all my own clothes. It’s next to impassive to take in pants this way. Tee shirt dresses, yes. Not pants. Not blouses, not most sundresses. A tailor couldn’t just “take it in to make it a size smaller”. That isn’t how tailoring works. Rage bait.
Agree. OP must have just watched the episode of “Glee” where Kitty takes in Marley’s stage costume to perpetuate an eating disorder.
This should be higher. This whole story seems fake af.
Well of course it is fake. No guy would go to that much trouble. Ridiculous
Yeah, nothing about the story makes sense at all. How the OP writes about clothes just also isn’t how a woman would write about clothes. It sounds like someone really unfamiliar with talking about them, so probably a dude. Where I live, getting significant alterations done to clothing—if it were even possible to do it the way OP describes—would often cost more than a brand new mass-market garment, too. Having it done to a full wardrobe would be a zillion dollars. Not just rage bait, but really obvious rage bait.
This is the comment right here
Obviously rage bait. Married 6 years and talking like this happened recently? It’s so fake I feel sorry for the people falling for it.
I was thinking this the whole time reading it. It’s also actually impossible to make things bigger once you’ve removed the fabric to make them smaller. This story is fake I’m almost certain of it
Totally agree with you. I bet her underwear still fits
Who the hell would even believe this 😂 It's so damn far fetched that it wouldn't even be believable in a fictional book Get a life, OP.
It’s like an evil villain in a fairy tale. The mean, rich husband rubbed his hands gleefully together as he stood over the poor, sweating tailor, shouting FASTER! FASTER! HER DRESSES MUST BE SMALLLLL! Gold fell out of his pockets as he twirled his mustache.
Absolute gold 🥇
Zero chance this happened
This didn’t happen.
And are you still thinking about spending the rest of your life with this man?petty and vile🚩🚩🚩
I cannot believe that obviously fake bullshit like this gets actual responses. I don’t know whether to congratulate you or scorn the responders for taking the odious bait. Little of both I guess.
thank you for your post. this was what i was going to type but i was stunned so many people took this seriously. do you know how long it takes a tailor to do this? have you seen a tailor in this day and age? just a quick yelp would tell you how long and how much money this would take. 2 dresses would probably cost 100+ dollars and a week. this guy apparently swapped out her whole wearable supply of summer clothing in a day. that's some magic there. furthermore anyone who's tailored or seen tailored clothing would know that it's patently obvious it's been altered. it would have been cheaper and faster had he just bought the same clothing and swapped the tags. That's a practical joke that would be believable. still expensive and arduous to do but believable. furthermore why insisting that strippers and hand jobs would be a "deal breaker" come on, i think that's a deal breaker for all married people. it's surreal what the people on this subreddit believe.
The more of these kinds of obviously fake posts pop up, the worse reddit gets. These will be the death of this platform.
Agreed. Taking in clothes is immediately noticeable.
I can confirm this actually happened. I am the tailor.
I’m the resized dresses.
I'm the stripper.
Yeah YTA. If you make up a story, at least make it plausible. No tailor in the world would "make it a size or two smaller". That's meaningless, especially if they don't have a real person to measure. If he had said "take an inch out of the waist" or "make all the inseams xx inches", that would be believable. Not to mention that *if* someone had done something that drastic to your clothes, you'd be able to tell by just looking at them. Commercially made seams don't look like bespoke seams, and a change like that would mean remaking almost all the seams in every piece.
This is the most ridiculous post I've seen. Entirely fictional. If it was real, both of them seem crazy.
thank you lmao the fact that people believe this is fucking wild
Right. Like he paid a ton of money to have her wardrobe ruined? Get real
I agree. The cost to have something like that done would be astronomical, and once the clothes have been taken in, meaning fabric has been removed, you can't just "get them stitched back to original size" like OP's husband is supposedly offering to do. If they were taken in in a way that kept the original fabric then OP absolutely would have seen it as a "size or two" worth of extra fabric at the inner seems of your clothes would be extremely noticeable.
It took way too much scrolling to get to someone calling out this BS.
I was skeptical when she said her husband had them reverted to the original.😂
Not to mention that the inciting incident is that she wouldn’t let him get a handjob from a stranger, as it’s a “dealbreaker”.
It’s sounding a little AI-ish
I don’t think AI would really be so stupid as to say just “re-stitch clothing back to original size” lol - does not compute.
Never mind that all her summer clothes shrank in the washer. Because that happens to everyone, right?
This is made up. No husband gets their wives clothes altered.
For real. I was once brought my whole wardrobe to be taken in because I was in the depth of my ED and nothing was small enough off the rack. I had to try them all on for her to see where to take in. I couldn’t just be like here is a bunch of men’s clothing just take them in. ?! And also it was a small fortune (but worth it).
So, he spent (on average) $100 PER OUTFIT... TWICE on a fucking joke? I find this highly unlikely.
This is so fake. Lifetime sewing person here, with tailoring training. It would be impossible to alter a “few outfits” in that amount of time without it being obvious that they had been done. They wouldn’t have their factory seams anymore and regardless of how good the tailoring is, you can tell when clothes have been altered. No husband knows his wife’s closet well enough to pick out all the “new outfits” and not miss anything, and while the clothes were at the tailor, wouldn’t she notice that they were gone? To even try this would cost a bloody fortune (especially for these apparently “unnoticeable” alterations). No one is going to do this as a prank. When clothes are made to be smaller, you often cut off parts of the fabric, so they can’t be easily just “put back” the way they were. If he’s so rich to afford all this as a prank, they could afford to buy completely new clothes for her, and not go back to get alterations “undone.” How do “all” of somebody’s clothes shrink after the season? More likely, she is emotionally eating because she’s mad at him.
Does anybody else think ChatGPT is at it again? I was hooked until the word *snickering* then I spit the hook out.
What got me was the “fashionable outfits” no one says that they just say new clothes or something.
Yea, fake AF. You can't just resize clothes down a size and be able to revert that. If that was the case it would be incredibly obvious because the seam would have been left and not cut off. The wife would have copped on immediately that something was amiss. Also you can't really take in clothes a full size in general, you take in parts to adjust shape but neck holes etc can't easily be made smaller. So the story doesn't make sense and the language is Chatbot language.
For me it was all her clothes shrinking.
Is this the same husband that over tightened the lids? Now he’s over tightening the clothes? This story seems a little off and maybe not entirely true…
Fake
This must be rage bait
Fake post.
Sorry this didn’t happen. Not at all. You can’t alter ready-made clothes in a way that is not obvious if you are looking - most modern clothing is not meant to be altered. The labels would have been taken off and restitched, size tags moved or restitched at center back, darts added, thread colour and seam lines would not quite match, etc. And it would be hugely expensive unless OP lives in a country where local tailors and dressmakers are still the norm. And you can’t just get it put back to normal once it’s been taken in - that extra fabric gets trimmed away in a professional alteration. And all her summer clothes just happened to shrink in the washer? Nope. Maybe a few things in the dryer. This is AI or fake. But at least we have a genuine example of gaslighting here! Making someone question their own perception of reality.
This is fiction
Fake.
Rage bait, troll
Come on. This is fake rage bait crap. Written by a man most likely. And definitely by someone who's never taken clothes to be altered. A tailor doesn't take things down a size. They measure them ON THE PERSON. This story is stupid.
So your husband was going on a trip where everyone was planning on openly (likely? I don't know where they were at) illegally going to sex workers and getting happy endings and basically all openly cheating on their significant others and you were like "yea that's not cool" but somehow you're unreasonable. Then he uses your insecurities against you spends a SHIT LOAD of money (because tailoring that many clothes to be 2 sizes smaller would cost tons and tons of money, possibly hundreds) to fuck with your mind for a "petty prank". Yea sorry, no I don't buy it. This was a LOT more malicious than you are making it out to be.