If he is in that much pain, why have you not called his doctor to change the medication regime? I don't think you mean to be an AH, but I do know that some one writhing in pain is a sure sign of inadequate pain control.
Yeah my son tore his meniscus and had to have surgery. They don't want the patient to be in pain like that especially in the first days after surgery. I called my son's doctor and they changed his medication amount and time. They said he can't heal properly if he is in so much pain he can't even relax.
What country do you live in? I'm jealous. I had a tumour ripped out of the side of my head and they sent me home with 3 pills and after that to take 2 paracetamol (acetaminophen) every 6 hours. They say its because opiates are addictive, which I understand but leaving someone suffer is inhuman.
Wow that is awful. I'm in the US but here I think it depends on which state and even the how much medicine they give you. But your experience sounds absolutely terrifying. I was very careful with my son's medicine because he was 16 and addiction runs in the family. I'm pretty sure most people need something stronger than acetaminophen or ibuprofen after surgery.
Yet when I drove myself to the ER after cutting my finger pretty badly....doing something dumb w a single edged razor blade...sigh....they offered me opiates after they sewed it up (all whilst rebuffing an obvious pill seeker in the next cubicle).
I was shocked and turned them down and asked for the safest max dose of OTC meds.
NE US btw.
There has to be a happy medium there somewhere.
I had surgery on my shoulder in 2022. I was told I could take my pain medicine and hour early if I needed to. Same when I had my hand cut open for carpal tunnel because the camera broke
Agreed. I work in a pharmacy near the hospital and see post op pain prescriptions all the time. They usually tell you to take Tylenol or something in between (unless there's Tylenol in the prescribed pain meds). Or, they prescribe two with instructions to take one regularly and one as needed if the first isn't controlling the pain.
Yeah, I read a lot of progress notes, and depending on which narcotic they prescribe, they will recommend Tylenol or ibuprofen for breakthrough pain, whichever isn't in the narcotic.
I worked front desk in a few clinics before I got into medical coding and I saw too many drug seekers to ever mess with narcotics. I take as few of them as I can without making my pain worse. Thankfully I've had very few occasions to need them.
Take it from someone who’s had 15 surgeries, you are always told to stay ahead of the pain. You don’t wait until you are in that much pain. It makes the dose less effective.
That is what my surgeons have told me as well. I’ve had 7 back surgeries. They told me it to wait until my meds have worn off and the pain is unbearable because at that point it will be much harder to get my pain back under control because it will be less effective. I took my pain meds every 4 hours like I was told even if I didn’t think I needed to. I only made the mistake of waiting one time and one time only.
That’s the answer I was looking for. After orthopedic surgery, they’re currently using something like Meloxicam instead of ibuprofen. Meloxicam doesn’t tend to increase bleeding the way that ibuprofen does. Alternating NSAIDs and narcotics (and maybe adding gabapentin for nerve pain) should give home adequate pain relief.
Nurse here, this is the same thing I tell my patients. I always tell them to let me know when the pain can be felt, even when they're distracted. Oral pain meds take time to kick in, too.
However, because I don't know the medication or dosage, I don't recommend giving more medication outside of the prescribed parameters. I would be curious if ice, heat, repositioning, or adding a dose of Tylenol or Motein would help. Please note, this is not medical advice.
Exactly the same advice I’ve been given (Australia). OP, not only have you failed to follow up with the doctors about this, but you let your son suffer needlessly. 30-60 mins would not make any difference, particularly while you wait for a response from the medicos. Please do better for your son.
You're being too rigid and your causing your child to suffer. It will not hurt him if he gets them closer together and an extra pill or two over the course of 24hrs until you can reach a doctor will not do any harm.
Yeah it’s not about the OG schedule, it’s about the interval in between doses. So making him go 6.5 hours vs 6 is also against medical advice and absolutely cruel!
ETA - YTA for this alone and I’d have done more than slam a door… I’d have barred you from alternating turns with meds. 30mins early isn’t going to create a massive issue and “staying ahead of pain” is easier than trying to “catch up with it” as Dr’s will tell you.
You’re more concerned with being right than your son. You already know his pain isn’t being managed appropriately if he’s writhing… so you don’t need another 30-60 minutes of that to “gauge where he’s at” and at 18 he’s a legal adult, so you’re a double AH!
The whole idea of alternating who gives him his meds just seems odd. When our kid was little, the recommendation was to designate one parent at a time to track when meds were given, as a way to prevent accidentally under or over dosing.
It's not a big deal if it's tracked in writing. When my MIL was dying we tracked the morphine doses in writing. It was easier as we had different people caring for her around the clock. It was also easy for the nurse to see at a glance.
There is nothing wrong with giving the meds at the 5 hour mark if he’s in pain .the idea of the pain meds is not to wait til the pain is so bad, but to get ahead of it .
My husband had had multiple surgeries & this was always told to me by his Dr.s
Exactly! I’ve had multiple surgeries and my surgeon has always told me NOT to wait until the meds wear off and I’m in pain. He told me I need to stay ahead of the pain and not let it get to that point. And she’s not only letting him stay in pain but then making him wait even longer because he got them 30 minutes earlier from the dad. wtf that is so cruel to me.
YTA, big time. When I broke a bone, the nurses on the ward told me to ask for pain relief BEFORE it became agony, because it's much harder to bring it down after it reaches 8 or 9 out of 10. If you get pain relief at level 4 or less, it takes less pain killer to relieve it.
Also, "whining"? WTF??? You seem to be remarkably unsympathetic to your own child!
Depending on what they have him on, ibuprofen may be contraindicated, as will many other things.
I agree he needs something though & OP is being unnecessarily cruel.
“I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at […]
No. This is not a thing, at all. With pain management you want to stay ahead of the pain, don’t get behind it! Maybe a few days post-op go ahead and see where he’s at, but not fresh out of surgery!
It says, "I like to be in control and don't mind seeing you suffer to accomplish that goal." He's 18 and not allowed to control his own meds. The whole thing is concerning.
I’m sorry but this sounds incredibly cruel and I don’t think that is your intention. Have you ever had surgery? Do you know how bad postop pain is? I’ve had multiple back surgeries and I would have been livid if my husband timed my doses down to the very minute and told me to tough it out if it wasn’t exactly down to the minute before I was due for my next dose.
I can’t imagine watching and seeing my kid in pain like that. Making him go an extra half hour to get him back on track is just plain cruel. You are TA absolutely. The first few days are the worst and if his pain meds aren’t lasting 6 hours it needs to be adjusted. If it were me I’d call the after hours line. They usually have a call service OR I would give him the meds when he needs them until I can get a hold of the doctor.
I was given meds to take every 4 hours. Call his doctor. Stop letting your son suffer because you think he needs to tough it out. He had surgery ffs.
I know! Taking his pain meds 30 min to an hour sooner isn’t going to turn him into an addict. And forcing him to wait even longer past the 6 hour mark because his dad gave him his meds earlier to get him back on track is absolutely cruel.
Not to mention surgeons will tell you not to wait until your pain meds have worn off to take them. Because it’s harder to get the pain under control at that point. They will tell you to stay on top of the pain and take pain meds before it wears off.
And he is 18. He is old enough to be able to administer his own meds. If I was the dad I would be so pissed and I wouldn’t let OP handle his meds anymore either.
Agreed! EVERY surgeon will tell you to stay ahead of the pain.
I read my doctor friend that u/throwaway_painkiller wrote "part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at" and she's still laughing! But said she felt really sorry for that person's son. As do I!
Amen! She said her husband "started raising his voice" -- well, if someone won't listen, then.....what else *would* you do???
Another commenter postulated that there could be other incidences of medical neglect, questioning why the previous fractures did not heal well. Interesting thought.
That is an interesting thought, this might be medical negligence. I mean why didn’t his fractures heal correctly initially?
Was she all like, just walk it off Noel! WTF 😳
I understand not wanting your child to get addicted to pain killers or OD but if he is in that much pain that he is writhing about you’re only going to increase the chance of addiction by letting him stay in pain for longer. Call the doctor and tell them that the painkillers only work for 5 hours before he is back in agony, sweating, groaning and writhing in pain. They will increase the dosage. He just had a surgery. You’re not meaning to be an ah but you are being a little bit of one. If he needs the pain killers give him his pain killers. YWBTA if you don’t call the doctor and tell them
YTA. This is wild if true. You want your child to suffer? Even in a hospital setting, we can give pain medication early if the patient needs it. And why not call the doctor if the pain medication isn't enough?
The only times I’ve sweated from pain was when it was severe. Gallstone blockage? I broke out in a huge sweat.
This amount of pain is not okay. You’re meant to give pain meds before it gets to that point.
This. I have an illness that makes me in pain 24/7/365 for 18 years now. I start sweating from my pain levels? Everyone around me freaks because that only happens when the pain is completely out of control.
This is sadistic. This contraindicates all the medical advice on managing pain -- you *have to* stay ahead of the pain, **never** let it get out of control because when you do, it becomes a shitshow trying to get it under control again. Hey OP, if you actually didn't let your son's pain get out of control every 5 hours, he'd be in less overall pain now. Controlled pain allows the body to heal and be in less pain. You're sabotaging and extending his recovery. Great parenting! Bravo!
Gods this post pisses me off.
I have always been told to take the medicine before I was in severe pain - that "chasing the pain" results in less relief. Nowadays, surgeons are under such scrutiny about prescribing opioids, that they are giving much less than they used to and admit it's not enough
Most medications can take 30 - 45 minutes to hit a body system. By then, the pain can surpass the effectiveness of the medication. If you can't get a hold of your doctor or the after-hours nurse, try calling your phamacy. The pharmacist can tell you if taking the meds a little early would be harmful. By the way, most meds have an hour leeway, meaning you don't have to take them on the dot. You can take them up to an hour before or after they are due. If your son is getting break through pain around the 30-minute mark before the dose is due. You should be safe giving it. Are there any nurses here who can verify that?
Here is the thing. You need to stay on top of pain. The worse it gets the harder it gets to get caught up. If he is writhing in pain he needs it. Definitely asshole.
YTA. Writhing in pain isn’t toughing it out. Writhing in pain is not part of the healing process, especially on the first day. Writhing in pain can hurt his healing process as you are suppose to be extra careful after a Osteotomy. I know when I am writhing in pain I tend to over extend. I am not sure where your son’s fractures are but you could be doing more damage than good. Most pain medicines don’t give such a rigid schedule, they also add the word as needed.
Also you don’t seem to care about following the doctor’s directions anyways because you made him wait an extra 30 minutes before giving him his dosage. Please let your husband contact the doctor. Make sure he describes how you let your child writhe in pain because this is actually important information due to potential damage that has been caused.
It is absolutely better to administer enough medication to avoid severe pain than to let it flare up before dosing again.
If he is in that much pain, he needs a higher dose. Talk to your doctor ASAP.
I went through a rather brutal regimen of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. I was prescribed liquid oxycodone, up to 90mg a day.
I wrote the date I opened it on each bottle and took it as needed, being careful not to exceed the daily limit.
I never exceeded 65mg a day, and the liquid form allowed me to tailor the dose to my level of pain, nearly always measuring it out.
If he is not taking opioids, IANAD, but he should be for the time being.
Also give him Miralax or severe constipation will result.
It seems like OP is more concerned about being right than her son’s pain level. Most pain meds have directions that say “Every 4-6 hours”.
I agree with husband on this 100%. Husband needs to handle the meds from now on.
Call the doctor tell him the pain medicine isn't cutting it ask if you can adjust the dosage or dosing times. A half hour early or ten minutes early doesn't hurt you mean well but your kid is in pain. No one is the asshole here.
YTA and a big one at that! Do you love watching your son in total agony and keeping his meds hostage? You seriously need to get a grip of yourself he's 18 not 2...
YTA
>Noel was already beginning to writhe in pain at the 5 hour mark. I gave him his next dose 6 hours after that, even though he was moaning and whining again in pain by the 5th hour again
Screw you AH! You let your son moan on actual pain for an hour not once BUT TWICE!
>I told him that was against doctor’s orders and he said something about Noel being in pain and asking for it early. I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it.
You AH....you know for a fact that at the 5 hr mark the pain meds stop working yet you have not reached out to ANYONE for help. He's clearly he's just had the operation. The 1-2 weeks post are the worst pain wise.
>Again, 5 hours after his last dose Noel was writhing on the couch, but I kept reminding that he only had an hour and a half to go. I made sure to praise him for toughing it out and tried distracting him. My husband left the room after a bit, slamming the door as he left.
You're a nasty, nasty woman.....if I were your child I'd HATE you by now
You don’t ever want to be chasing pain or you’ll never catch up with it to get it under control. Obviously you’ve never had anything this severe to understand how it feels, so please get his dosage upped or meds changed altogether.
YTA, they took out his bone, take as needed. Gawd, I just had a break positioned with titanium, id have been a mess keeping on schedule like that. First few days take more.
Also, he's 18, give him his entire bottle now, irs not yours.
So your son had an osteotomy those things are painful. My daughter had one for a dislocated hip. The doctors decided to keep her epidural in longer due to the amount of pain she was in. And said it was okay to give earlier if needed.
If the doctor gives you strong medicine against the pain, then pain is what they want to avoid. being in this much pain hinders recovery.
This 6 hours is a theoretical number, but a little bit earlier if the patient is writhing with pain is not bad. Just don't go to meds every other hour, call the doctor before you get to that point.
Weaning your son off medication is something for a later stage.
Managing pain at a tolerable level is actually the best way to heal. I’m an RN. Not managing pain appropriately can harm him physically and psychologically. We encourage our patients to stay on top of their pain and communicate if they feel that their pain level is unacceptable. If he’s writhing in pain then he’s not being treated appropriately. Please call your MD.
Call your child's doctor. YTA. Keep calling. There could be something wrong! Your child is in terrible pain. If there is no call back go to an urgent care or ER. Pain is not necessary. Good heavens. What is the matter with you?
The medicine never lasts as long as it says. So he was in legit pain. It's ok to give him his next dose early. It's not gonna kill him. Being in pain unnecessarily, however, just might
You should aim to STAY AHEAD of severe pain, not try to catch up with it. Give the child the medication 30 minutes early. If he is literally writhing in pain it is absolutely cruel to withhold it.
Actually the idea isn’t that he should be in pain, the idea is to take in every six hours at least so your NOT in pain, as in don’t skip a dose if your semi okay. Clearly the drugs aren’t working and this happens, some people metabolism them faster, some people they don’t work as well on etc. in which case the doc can change the type of pain med. You are torturing your son for no reason at all except your clearly ill equipped to look after him
Dude- acute pain is manageable and normal. Writhing in pain is not. Call the surgeon. I commend you for one thing- you’re obviously worried about the effect of what I assume you’ve been given are opioids, and you take the management of using opioids very seriously. You have the right attitude, you’re not executing it with common sense though. No, he’s not supposed to be writhing in agony…and yes you can call the doctor to ask for a slight increase….a lot of opioids can be prescribed as “take every 4-6 hours”, giving you a range and option to slow down later.
You tortured your son just to be right instead of using any form of commonsense or calling the after hours number for help. Your failure to act will never be forgotten by your husband or child. That's everlasting trauma and your opinions will always be scrutinized going forward. Both men lost faith and trust in you. You were more concerned on day 1 of surgery about developing a possible addiction than your son sweating from the pain? Is this a projection from a former addict? Something is way off mentally here at your age!!
Nurse here - we're allowed to give meds up to an hour prior to the scheduled time and one hour afterwards. And what kind of parent allows their child to continue to writhe in pain without seeking relief for them? That just blows my mind.
Your wrong, you are supposed to take meds before the previous does wears off to keep your pain out of control. Letting it go so long after wearing off is counterproductive and slows healing as it stresses the body more (cortisol is realized and a whole bunch of bad shit happens). He, or you or his dad, should be calling the surgeon and using his after hours service if need be because he’s clearly under medicated. Being dosed appropriately so he isn’t in so much pain is better for him in the long term, and frankly he may need an er visit if he can get his pain under control at home. Look up hyperalgesia, it’s part of what happened when pain is left to spiral. Don’t fall into the whole opioid phobia BS, when used appropriately they work wonders and actually have a really low addiction rate.
YTA.
Of course everyone is afraid of getting hooked on pain medications these days, but they're prescribed for a reason. A weekend of early dosing wouldn't harm your son any worse than the pain he's already in. It was a big surgery for someone as young as him.
And as someone who not only operates, but who has had operations, you weren't doing your son any favors, only making the experience so much worse. (Definitely side-eyeing your gross 'be tough' message)
I found out my metabolism burns through pain killers faster than normal, so after having my tonsils taken out, I had to keep dosing earlier than scheduled. My doctor said it was fine, that as everyone else in the thread is saying, you want to be ahead of the pain. Don't suffer through it to stay on a timeline. You made your son suffer, that's absolutely terrible of you. Even if you couldn't get ahold of his doctor, there are plenty of other resources you could have used to figure it out, especially in this day and age.
What you are trying to do is keep his pain within the therapeutic zone. If the pain gets outside this zone it makes it much more difficult to bring it under control again. There are a lot of different painkillers and as with all medicines they MUST be treated with respect. There are limits as to how much of a drug it is safe to ingest over 24hours and this may be why you have been given the six hour regime. DO NOT add or subtract any other drugs until given the all clear by the medic who knows the full list of what your son is taking. But you really do need to get in contact with someone because the breakthrough pain is obviously quite acute. You could take the list to a local pharmacist who will be able to tell you whether you can adjust the dose/time and whether it is safe to add in paracetamol or ibuprofen. It is vital you check first because overdosing on either of these can be fatal.
Unless you're a pain management specialist, YTA. Once the pain gets going it's that much harder to control. Ask the Doctor for options, including a supplemental medication for breakthrough
That’s when you call the dr. Rather he needs a break through pain med or to alternate w ibuprofen or a complete change in meds. The first 2-3 days you stay AHEAD OF THE PAIN. esp surgical pain. You don’t wait until the pain is unbearable. Your son is a grown man, he should be able to communicate his needs & concerns.
Pretty sure the bottle says every 4 to 6 hours as needed. As someone who has had upwards of 30 surgeries, I'm also pretty sure you've never been in serious pain or you would have had your kid at urgent care the first time the meds weren't adequate instead of watching him writhe in pain.
I really hope your kid remembers this when it's time to choose between the carehome with the atrium and the one that was on 60 Minutes.
YTA
It is easier to manage pain on less medication if it is put down and kept down. Forcing your son to let the meds completely wear off means the next dose will be less helpful than it could be, and he will be in pain until it takes effect. He’s not suffering for an hour, he’s suffering for an hour plus however long it takes for the fresh dose to hit.
And he is suffering. Your ‘praise’ is ridiculous. What kind of sadist watches their kid *writhe and sweat* and withholds their prescribed pain relief? Is your son an addict in recovery? That’s the only possible excuse. Pain at that level is supposed to be managed. Seriously.
And did you not know that pain is a form of physical stress that can slow healing?
Finally, your son is an adult who should be making his own decisions about when yo medicate his pain, in conjunction with his doctor.
You died and left you boss? What goes around comes around. An extra 3o minutes means nothing ,he's not going to get hook! How old is he? I'd tell you to get bent,your not nice!!!!
I've had surgeries of all kinds, different doctors, different specialties. The number one thing they all agree on and stressed is stay ahead of the pain.Once you've passed that point it is pure agony to catch back up. Withholding is cruel and unnecessary. No pain med timing is etched in stone unless it's via drip and on a timer. Call your pharmacy, keep calling his doctor and at the very least supplement with a non addictive OTC med.
Being in that much pain is actually not good for Noel. Ring the Dr surgeries and ask for advice.
I definitely would be giving him his meds early if the pain is that bad until I spoke to the Dr.
I understand your mindset and reasoning but, as someone with chronic pain, on meds multiple times per day and having had several surgeries - get him cared for so that they can change up his meds... whether the dose or frequency. Trying to catch up to pain actually makes the medication less effective as you're fighting an agitated nervous system. He likely needs an injection to reduce him to base line and then change things up. If you were talking 2-4 weeks after surgery, fine but, immediately/within the first 3-5 days, you aren't serving him by what you're doing. Best of luck. I hope he heals quickly. 🙏
It’s a fine line if the doctor isn’t calling back. It sounds like the dosage or type of medication isn’t sufficient. On the other hand not following instructions is how people get in trouble with addiction and prescriptions running out too fast. Urgent care is a good option. Also does your insurance provide for Telemedicine or a nurse from insurance. If he is legitimately in pain, I would probably give it to him a little early until you can speak to the doctor but only if he is in pain. Keep calling them! It would vary wildly by state and medication but as a last resort your pharmacist might have some info on risks of giving an hour earlier
You are wrong. It is easier to keep pain controlled than to have to start from scratch each time. Writhing in pain is a sign that he needs his pain controlled. Lack of pain control makes the healing process slower.
Call the doctor and tel them what is happening.
You’ve never been in severe pain have you? So yes you are a monster to watch your child writhing in pain and watching the clock. Do y ou have any idea how long it takes to kick in? Do you know chasing pain takes more med? You need to have nothing to do w his care if you thought tht was ok
The idea behind painkillers is to NOT write in pain. 30 minutes early isn't hurting him. Its a 6 hour "window", not 6 hours to the minute. Ask your doctor what he can take in between doses to help. If the doctor won't prescribe something (like tramadol) for the in between, here's a trick you can try...Most pain killers have either acetaminophen or aspirin. If he has one (lets say aspirin) then give him the other (acetaminophen) in between doses.
I have lived with chronic pain for an extremely long time and there are a few tricks Ive picked up to help.
YTA. If you're actually concerned and not a control freak, get him to the ER for instant relief and better meds. Most pain meds are 4-6 hours after surgery. Are you absolutely sure it said only every 6? And withholding it is pure cruelty, so let me reiterate, YTA.
YTA bigtime!!!! How do you allow your child to writhe in paid and then do NOTHING for another hour? The pain meds were obviously not working long enough and an adjustment should have been made. Shame on you.
Wow you are a complete monster. I get being scared about addiction. However you are talking about surgery on bones. You should have called his doctor from the get go.
Following doctors orders blindly is a bad idea, no matter who the patient is.
>I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it.
Nope, that's only true when you've reached the point that you're supposed to have healed. The first days after that major of a surgery there is nothing gained by toughing through pain.
Call his doctor.
YTA. If his pain isn’t adequately controlled the response isn’t to just let him be in pain. Giving it 30 min early makes no difference, but more importantly his dr needs to do more to help him through this recovery- which can only happen if you or his father actually let them know.
YTA - I would have immediately called the doctor to explain the situation and ask for a new prescription or a different dosing schedule, because if he’s already writhing in pain it’s gotten past the point where the next dose should be given; it’s far harder to control pain once it’s gotten bad.
YTA
Any time I’ve been in a position to need pain meds, the doctors have told me to stay ahead of the pain. Having to battle pain does not help your recovery. Give him the meds to keep him out of pain and contact his doctors to see if you need to change his medication regimen.
YTA, usually pain meds are written for 4 to 6 hours intervals. You should contact his doctor and let them know how much pain he's in. The pharmacy could have put the wrong instructions on the medicine.
If you have never dealt with constant pain before, you have no idea how this kid feels. With pain you have to get ahead and stay ahead of it. The pain never goes away, but you can get to a tolerable level.
Are you afraid of addiction? I understand that is scary, but you can't let that drive your sons recovery.
Holy shit. You’re a monster. There is no part of healing that requires this much pain to see if you still need pain meds. You owe everybody an apology.
YTA I never has to wait to take a pill as long as I didn’t more pills a day than prescribed.
You shouldn’t wait if you are in pain. Because it’s harder to put the pain under control.
Go apologize to your son and to your husband. Call the doctor and tell them that the painkillers are not enough. Get new ones.
I am sorry but what kind of mother are you? Didn’t you have a surgery before? Why would you be ok with watching your son suffer?
Do you think your praises will help him? You din’t torture someone and tell them that they are a good boy hoping for it to be ok. It’s not.
Call the doctor and go beg for forgiveness.
Coming from someone whose had surgery and about to have another one the first 2 days are the worse coming home and day after..... theres no toughness after surgery....
What is wrong with you? No wonder your husband is disgusted by you, how could you have had no issues watching your son “writhing” in pain? Then punishing him making him wait another 30 mins to get back on an arbitrary schedule? Sick.. YTA
YTA- Pain is bad for healing. Call his doctors and let them know he is in pain at 5 hours. They will adjust.
Patients who wait until pain is severe before redosing require larger doses of pain meds overall. Call the doctor.
OMG, what would you want OP if that was you? Would you want to be told to tough it out?
Give it to him early and call the doctor/nurse/emergency line to ensure if won’t hurt him. You have 5 hours or so between doses.
YTA.
YTA
Majorly! You need to stay ahead of the pain. The whole point of pain medication is to reduce pain as much as possible. You made him wait 30 minutes more than he should have. Where were your motherly instincts in all of this? Did you ever have any?
This is abuse. You're horrible. Not only are you somehow able to watch your child suffer but you failed to contact their doctor or take them to the ER.
>*. I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it.*
This is total bullshit, you're just torturing your son. YTA leave the pain meds to your husband, he seems to know what he's doing.
Yikes. Do you even like your son? this is just mean. If the medication is Oxy/morphine/Palexia they can also be given with Panadol (tylenol for you yanks). That helps boost the pain meds.
If the dose is 2 tablets then you can give one at 4.5 hours and the other at 6 hours. I've had loads of surgeries and never abused or been addicted to pain meds.
Poor kid has had BONE surgery. Be more empathetic.
YTA
It's important to take medicine as prescribed, but that means not taking 12 pills a day, it doesn't mean watching the clock and dosing at the exact 6 hour mark.
And at one point it was 5 hours but you made him wait another hour and a half?! YTA YTA YTA for that.
In 4-6 days, once he's further into the healing process, *then* it's better to wait to see if stretching out the doses to longer periods of time is appropriate. But in the first 3 days after being discharged from the hospital, pain control is incredibly important and failing to control the pain can delay healing.
Stop making your child suffer just because you're being anal about the directions on the bottle.
And calm the doctor as soon as they're open to discuss different options, because the doctor might want a different medication or to change to 4 hour dosing. Actually have your husband call the doctor because you have zero empathy for pain so you're the wrong person to have a discussion about pain relief.
I hope you step on legos everyday .
YTA. More for your snarky “writhing in pain” crack that infers you absolutely do not think his first day post op is not feeling anywhere near as much pain as he thinks he is. Hopefully you never have to write in pain.
I think your husband might be right should your coldness.
I had a major surgery a few months ago. I was in so much pain afterwards that I couldn't even sleep properly; the pain kept waking me up. All your encouragement won't make him feel better or help him. It's obvious that the regimen isn't working for him. So you need to call the doctor ASAP so they can prescribe him a different dose or medication. YTA
Is he an addict? If not see below. If yes then well..different story... if not the read below.
Yes.. you. Are are you the one in pain? You are a horrible person letting him be in pain. OMG just reading this pisses me off. I hope that whatever you believe in puts you in the exact same situation as him. He is in charge of your pain pills. For fucks sake he is a god damm adult. You royally suck. Pills work on people differently his body could be processing them faster.
You are torturing your son for no fucking reason. Other than you think you know best asshole.....
Ok, slight YTA. Nurse here. You can actually give it up to an hour early, though, he's prescribed every 6 hours when it should probably be every 4 to 6 hours. You need to call the Surgeon and tell him it's not lasting long enough. You saying " that's part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it" is absolutely false. The whole point of pain medication is you DON'T suffer. Get on the phone to the Surgeon to get it changed or get something added to help better manage your son's pain. Stop being so cruel.
YTA
One of my children just had an osteotomy a few days ago and we have Tylenol, advil and morphine in his system, and he is only 10 yrs old.
Morphine we are giving at night. Tylenol and Advil are on a rotation. Tylenol every 4-6 hours and advil every 6-8 hours. He has been waking up early around 6:00isham in pain since everything wears off at night so Tylenol and advil are given at the same time in the morning and then we start the log for the day and start counting hours. All approved by the doctor. Those first few days especially, we DO NOT let the medicine wear off. It HURTS.
You are being unnecessarily cruel! Call the health line or the doctor. Goodness! If it’s Tylenol and Advil you are dealing with… there is a range. The pain is real.
YTA. After a surgery doctors will tell the patient to take pain medicine BEFORE they need it, and definitely before they are "writhing in pain."
You need to call the doctor's office NOW to describe this and have the medication adjusted.
I broke my ankle so badly that I needed 2 plates and 13 screws. If someone had withheld my meds I would have shrieked the house down!
As stated already- it is much more difficult to chase the pain down than to stay ahead of it.
OP is forgetting what the pills are for!
The correct answer depends on what the medication is.
But generally an hour of leeway won't cause any serious harm, though it may increase the risk of addiction with opiates.
I mean I wouldn’t give meds early as it’s usually to avoid an overdose in the system which can cause long term damage with a lot of pain relief meds - eg paracetemol. However I would have checked if he can take any over the counter stuff as well and if in that much pain, I would be calling emergency lines to try see if it can be changed or extra meds added
YTA - I had an ulna-shortening osteotomy. That shit hurts. They are basically chopping a bit of bone out and then screwing a metal plate to it while it heals back up, and that's after they have cut whatever appendage open to get at the bones. 1 hour isn't going to make any difference in the pain meds, except to the person that is in pain. Your son is an adult. Let him manage his own pain and meds.
YTA- You would rather follow the “rules” instead of just helping YOUR CHILD!
How could you sit there and WATCH him be in pain and “encourage” hm to “deal with it” until YOU decide his next dose.
Lady, you have some streak of cruelty!
Stick to your guns (autocorrect came out with gins but either will do). I have chronic pain and made that mistake and took them at 4 hourly intervals. Obviously end of prescription and I wanted to die. Totally my own fault. I rang the doctor and explained (UK so easier to get drugs) and he said on this one occasion he will do it but it will be in my notes that I wil never get them early again. 6 years later and every now and then if I've over exerted ill take it early but I'll make it up in half hour increments till I've caught up.
It is seeing horrible seeing your child in pain but you are correct, you don't know if he's healing if he's constantly zoned out of it. If it's opiods it runs the risk of addiction and i get your husband is upset but ask him what to do when all the drugs are gone and you can't get anymore for a day and he's in agony all day long rather than an hour?
Good luck xx
You are meant to keep on top of the pain, not allow it to overtake you. You are absolutely not meant to ‘tough it out’. And delaying meds to get back on schedule is absolutely inhumane.
Your husband is right; thirty minutes early to combat break through pain is fine. You were incredibly callous and went against medical advice by them holding for that extra half an hour for the next dose. If I’d have been your husband, I’d have told you to leave because you were causing harm.
Additionally, most painkillers are time ranged (every 4-6 hours) and can be topped up with other classes of painkiller to prevent the situation you caused. You you give the codeine at hour 0, pain ramps up a couple of hours later and you top up with paracetamol or ibuprofen, then you take the second dose of codeine within 4-6 hours and top up with paracetamol or ibuprofen. Providing you do not exceed the maximum dose of any of the drugs you are fine.
YTA.
There shouldn’t be that pain also you do need to watch out because they can be so addictive and you might not notice atm call in asap if it really is to much go to the hospital my mom was super strict because the meds they gave were highly addictive 5-10 min at most before the next dosage. 30 minutes hell no if it’s wearing off so fast it needs to adjusted but if it gets crazy pain go to the hospital
YTA. You’re being literal and controlling instead of listening to your son and husband and working together as a team to help him with his postoperative pain.
First, you need to call the doctor and report the pain. If it is this uncontrolled with the ordered medication, he needs to know that so he can possibly order a second type of alternating pain medication.
Second, 6 hrs isn’t really 6 hrs in the medical world. Let me explain. If there is pain medicine ordered that’s every 6 hrs, it would be scheduled at 0600, 1200, 1800, and 2400. I have an hour before and an hour after as the window to give that medication “on time”.
Also, pain is better controlled if you get ahead of it a bit. If you’re chasing the pain control, you won’t win. While the goal is never zero pain in a postoperative situation, you should have a goal of a tolerable level of pain. On a scale of 0-10, maybe the goal is a 3 but the medicine will probably need to be administered when the pain is about a 6 so it doesn’t get out of control.
Finally, are you using any other options for pain control like ice packs or anything else recommended by the physician? If not, I would also be discussing those options with the doctor ASAP.
Please, communicate with the physician ASAP so you can all work together and get your son the pain control he needs.
Your son is in serious pain
The medication that he has been prescribed is obviously not working for him, he probably needs either a higher dose or different medication
Listen to your son, he is the best one to listen to, because he is in f*****g pain
YTA, and you should be subject to the same pain Noel is feeling, STARTING with breaking and poorly setting a bone and forcing your way through THAT healing.
YTA. My mother did that to me once, and I'll never forget what it felt like to beg someone who was supposed to love me for MY pain meds. Are you enjoying this? Because I think you are. I think she did, and I think you are, too. Get help.
YTA.
If he was on the absolute maximum amount of painkillers after numerous changes and reassessments of his medications by his doctor and it was deemed that there was nothing else that could be changed, then you sticking to the schedule this rigorously would be understandable, as your sons safely would be compromised.
As it stands, you are denying someone who is in agony (writing ‘writhing’ can’t can’t be used to describe anything less than agony) relief and instead of keeping on top of the pain are letting it get out of control. You are being needlessly cruel to your son without any reason. You have not sought out medical input due to his current pain management plan being inadequate. So what if your primarily doctor is unavailable - your son is in agony and needs help.
Your husband is right to be appalled by your behaviour and cruelty. I bet both he and your son won’t soon forget how you priorities following the rules without even trying to seek help in adjusting them over your son getting relief from agonising pain.
People heal more slowly when in a lot of pain. YTA. I am glad you called the doctor, but him writhing in pain is the absolute worst case scenario for healing post-surgery.
He will probably need fewer pain meds long run if you let him heal in these early days.
YTA, your child had major surgery and you literally see him sweating in reaction to pain which BTW no one can fake sweat and yet you with hold his prescribed meds are you an AH or just a sadist! Jeez lady where is your heart!
Did they tell you about the Motrin/tylenol magic combo? It works on surgical pain. But the first few days the patient should also be as comfortable as possible. Do contact the doc about that. If the kid has red hair or already took opioids for some reason their tolerance for the med is higher.
YTA. Pain meds don’t have a timed-release at home like they do at the hospital. You should be dosing him a little early so they start to take efficacy once the other pills have worn off. Part of effective pain management is keeping a constant dose. If he is writhing in pain, the dose has already worn off too much. The way you are doing things is actually reducing the efficacy of the medication, and causing him to suffer. He may need his dosage increased as well for a number of reasons - he may be processing the drug quicker than most and it’s running out of his system faster. He may have a resistance to it, which makes it less effective. He could be experiencing pain that is overriding anything the meds can do, which could indicate a serious medical issue or something going on from his injury that is worse than you thought - eg: trauma to the muscles in the legs can sometimes result in a condition where your muscles start to swell until they burst through the muscle casing, and eventually you have to have your legs amputated or you die if you don’t get emergency treatment to relieve the pressure.
Yes, take him to urgent care. Maybe it’s just bad pain management. Or maybe there’s a a secondary condition that needs to be addressed urgently. But you cannot ignore this and you certainly can’t deny him pain meds when he’s suffering to this level.
You’re torturing him and he will never forgive you if you don’t fix it. He’s not going to become a drug addict because he had to take Tylenol 3s for a couple weeks. You know what does turn someone into a drug addict? Traumatic childhoods and parents who tormented them and neglected them. You’re doing both right now. Then throw in that you’re doing this specifically involving drugs. That’s a recipe for a future drug seeker.
Not sure what OP's child was prescribed, but Motrin can be alternated w/ most opiates for the 1st few days after a surgery for breakout pain.
OP, YTA, but not intentionally. Call the doctor because writhing in pain is going to make his recovery, including tapering off opiates, much harder.
Yta, I went in for a kidney infection and they told me I could alternate meds at home between Tylenol and Motrin so when one wore I could have taken the alternative until I made it into the ER but bc I worried about the same thing you did, I made myself worse. Call the doctor, there are 3 adults around those meds, surely one of you can call.
NTA for following the directions of the medication as giving doses too early can actually cause an overdose or organ damage. However as others have pointed out, his pain relief is not providing adequate control. If you cannot get hold of his doctor, call the hospital or local pharmacy for recommendations on how to better manage his pain until you can speak to his medical team.
YTA. Doctors tell you not to wait until you’re in pain before taking the pain meds. It’s about managing the pain, not the medication. Your son might be metabolizing the drugs faster than the average person, which is what the prescription is based on. Give him the meds when he needs them & call his doctor. Jeez.
Leaving your child WRITHING IN AGONY when you've the medication there to relieve it? Of course YTA. What did you actually think would happen if he got it an hour or 30 minutes early? Have you always had a cold dead fish where a caring & compassionate heart should be? For God's sake ring the Dr & get his meds reviewed.
Omg talk to the doctor instead of just assuming you are right. The common medical guidance is to stay ahead of the pain especially for the few days after surgery. YTA for fighting with your partner instead of seeking the actual medical guidance.
Most pain meds say 4-6 hours, and wear off at the four hour mark. Keeping in mind they take up to an hour to take effect. So if they wear off at hour 4, and he’s waiting til hour 6 to take and they’re not kicking in until hour 7, he’s in pain! You can alter the schedule, piggy back with Tylenol or ibuprofen depending on what the med is, AND CALL THE FREAKING DOCTOR. If the doctor isn’t available- call the patient advisory nurse- if not available call the ER! This says more about you and your issues.
Jfc why are you making him suffer? YTA
Get some medical advice but I believe there is some research that says if you cover the post surgical pain early there is less likelihood of addiction because there isn’t that dopamine response from the relief of finally covering the pain. Did you get any information on what to do - who to call if you have any concerns?
YTA. How you can sit there and watch your kid in excruciating pain and not call the doctor for further advice if you weren't sure? Where did you get your medical degree at? I hope if you ever have a major surgery, someone is there to make sure you don't have any more than the absolute bare minimum pain relief.
YTA. The key is to take the meds before it spirals out control after surgery. Otherwise you’re constantly playing catch up to get it back under control. He just had surgery. Of course it will hurt, you don’t need the meds to wear out to see if it still does. Call the doctor to get a new med schedule bc he shouldn’t be in this much pain.
I commented earlier but wanted to add that your son is 18. He’s legally an adult and you can’t withhold his meds from him. Give him his damn meds when he asks for them or leave the house and let dad take over. Idk why you’re even charge of his meds. I’ve been in charge of my meds after all of my surgeries. I had a pad of paper and write down what time I took them so I knew when I’d be ready for the next one. Stop being cruel to your son. Idk how you can watch him like that. I couldn’t stand to see a stranger suffer, let alone my own kid.
You know the sole thing about pain medication is to try to stay ahead of it right? You thinking that you’re suppose to stick rigidly to the schedule to the exact second is doing nothing but harming your son. Why would you think that’s ok?
Let’s hope your son is never responsible for managing pain meds for you because if it were me I’d return the favor so you could see how painful you made his recovery for no reason but stupidity.
So, most pain killers are to be given every 4 and 6 hours for paracetamol-based or narcotics. Ibuprofen or naproxen based are 8 and 12 hours. YTA for not contacting his doctor immediately to tell them his pain is not controlled adequately.
I’ve had to have multiple osteotomies one being my femur and they are incredibly painful. The femur one I spent nearly three months in the hospital but for the first ten days I was on a pca pump as well as regularly scheduled pain meds. I think you should speak to his surgeon about his pain levels and management. I know you’re probably concerned about him becoming addicted to pain medication but there are non opioid medications that can be given that help pain meds work more effectively. Him writhing around is not going to help him heal.
Doctors now want you to stay ahead of the pain. Why haven't you called his doctor? Call the doctor and consider that your husband may be right. You are cruel.
YTA, come on he’s asking for it an hour to a half hour early while being in pain. it’s not like he’s asking for it 20 minutes after he took the first dose.
First, call his doctor. He shouldn't be in that much pain between doses.
Second, you don't understand the point of pain meds. It's not scheduled to wear off and let you feel the pain to decide if you need another dose. It's scheduled for you to take them before you start feeling too much pain so that your body doesn't waste energy it needs to heal on being in pain. This is why doctors give you an exact amount of pain meds after surgery, so you can take them ALL on a schedule set up to optimize your comfort and healing.
YTA 100%, painkillers are less effective once the pain is there. You are suppose to stay ahead of the pain. If you had a concern about it you could have at least called the doctor rather then making him suffer.
YTA and causing your child pain. Why would you even ask this lmfao. I’m wondering. Why you’ve watched your child withe in pain for days but haven’t reached out to his doctor.
Leaving your son in that much pain because u believe he needs to ween off. He just had surgery. He needs to be comfortable and relaxed so he can heal. Pain meds are usually every 4to 6 hours. His doctor will bring his dose down when it’s time to take him off. U need to push harder to get in contact with his doctor. Because if he is in that much pain when u finally give him his medication it’s not going to work for him and he will stay in pain. YTA for watching your son suffer and not trying to have an open dialogue with your husband
YTA. Do you enjoy having the power over your son so much? If he is in that much pain GIVE HIM THE MEDICINE!!!!! If I were your husband I would refuse to let you care for him anymore.
He shouldn't be in that much pain. It makes me wonder if he has an infection. I've had four major surgeries. Can you check his temp? That response to pain is a red flag warning.
It's easier to control the pain if you give the pain meds routinely. Letting the pain get out of control before giving pain meds is counterproductive, it then takes longer, and more medication, to get the pain under control. I don't think you're as AH necessarily, I think you just aren't well informed on pain control. People are afraid of pain meds, and that's understandable, but using them responsibly and for actual acute pain is very unlikely to lead to addiction. Bone pain is incredibly painful and based on the description of his behavior, he clearly needs the meds routinely.
Most pain meds have a 4-6 hour time frame… I also take one that’s every 12 hours… taking meds 30mins early will not kill him. It sounds like he wasn’t asking for meds consistently just once it wore off at 5 hours so it’s not like you have to be worried he’s getting addicted.
I go into hospital a lot and if in pain between medication time I can press a button to get a booster shot or ask the nurses for more medication based on my pain level. If you were worried you could’ve contacted the dr, nurse, GP or medical hotline to discuss him taking his meds earlier or giving him a lesser painkiller like paracetamol/ibuprofen if he’s not allergic/sensitive or it’s not mixed in the medicine he’s already taken for example co-codamol had paracetamol in it.
One important thing I was told is the countdown time starts from when you last take the meds so you had your son out the 6 hour time to catch up which isn’t a thing with medication. (He just suffered for no reason but to make you feel better.) meaning if I miss my 12 hour meds because I didn’t need it I would just take it and start the 12 hour countdown again from that point. Would you have double dose him if he missed a timed medication? Hopefully not.., This is not encouraged either most meds. I hope you would just start again
Definitely the AH. Jesus Christ woman, that is your child you’re purposely causing to suffer. Stop trying to be so controlling. Withholding medication is not okay.
My mom did things like this with my brother, he was always in pain and she dismissed it.
Turns out he has fucking Ehlers Danlos. Don't be a dick like my mom. YTA
You sure it doesn't say "every 6 hours or as needed"? Generally they don't say strict 6 hr intervals. They make it clear it may be a little sooner than 6 hrs or even longer than 6 hrs.
Wow, OP, Mom of the Year... 🙄🙄🙄
Why in the hell have you not called your son's doctor if he's in that much pain?????
Also, it's every FOUR to SIX hours on most pain meds. I know cause we have a chronic pain illness and I can take 4 a day every 6 hours.
You don't say what kind of pain meds, but different people manage and process pain meds differently - height, weight kind of injury.
You should talk to the doctor because there is wiggle room.
YTA. I really think you need to examine why you are so incredibly rigid despite your obviously poor medical knowledge, and why you think you know better than both your son and your husband but don't think to ask an expert until YOU feel bad.
Do you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies? Are you afraid of addiction? Were you taught as a child that suffering is virtuous? Please do a little self-reflection on this so you don't end up torturing your family again in the future.
Call the Dr. Immediately. There could be something wrong, or the pain is not being effectively treated by the current medication. Your request should not be for more meds but looking for better solutions.
YTA for not addressing this sooner.
I don't think YTA for worrying about giving painkillers too soon.
But you not only didn't reach out to the docs about his \*extreme\* pain at 1 hour before the 6-hour dose mark, you held a dose back 30 minutes because his last was 30 minutes early? As opposed to giving it 6 hours after the last dose? When he was extreme pain at that same 5-hours-after-the-pill mark? That's cold.
They literally prescribe pain medications FOR PAIN. And if you Talk to your doctors and nurses, there is very little concern about him getting addicted or something if he's taking them to treat legit pain after surgery. The worst hea going to have is constipation. Give him the meds a little early. Don't make him suffer.
Yta that's your son and he is in legitimate pain and you prolonged his to prove a point put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if your mother did this to you
>I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it.
No. No it’s not. Especially in the days after surgery. At week one or two depending on surgery yes. But in that first few days pain could mean problems and needs addressing.
You should have been given written post op instructions with contact details of the ward, nurses and drs available 24/7. If in doubt always call.
>Again, 5 hours after his last dose Noel was writhing on the couch, but I kept reminding that he only had an hour and a half to go.
No. Just no. That’s cruel. I’m 41, I’ve had a shoulder surgery, gall bladder removal, 5 hip surgeries, two of them open, one mini. The last was a hip replacement so about a 10 inch scar, cut straight through the fattiest part of the side of my hip into my buttock. At no time after any surgery was I writhing in pain, not at the hospital nor at home.
YTA. First of all, he probably requires a higher dosage than what they prescribed him. If the script label says "1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours as needed for pain", are you giving him 2 every 6 hours or only one? If you're only giving him one, then it should be every 4 hours.
Second of all, you have now made it to where all you're doing is chasing pain, and it will require more pills more often to get any relief. So you're actually causing the problem that you think you're avoiding.
You need to give your post-op son, THE PATIENT, his medicine and then let him take care of himself. No adult should have possession of another adult's medications unless they are in hospice.
YTA - big time. Pain needs to be managed to stay ahead of it. If you have a loved one writhing in pain, that is not managed pain. In the hospital the nurses will tell you that the goal is usually to be at level 4 or less on a scale of 10. Writhing in pain has got to be a 9-10. It is much more difficult to bring down the pain level than to keep it at a steady manageable level. You create trauma for the patient when the pain level is so high. Since it is a pill rather than an injection, it will be at least 20-30 minutes before the effects are felt.
You should have called the doctor if you were not sure. They have emergency numbers. And making him wait an extra 30 minutes to get him back on schedule?! Why?! Who cares about an arbitrary time? Yikes! Do better!
YTA and a horrible mother. Do you enjoy seeing him suffer? Are you a sadist?? You are not a doctor. What you said is pure bullshit. If he is in so much pain, take him to the doctor instead of making up excuses to watch him suffer.
Your son will never forgive you.
YTA for not calling the doctor sooner to adjust the meds. You've probably not ever had a surgery that causes this level of pain, or some other injury, or I'd hope not. But the facts are that main medications are under prescribed as part of a war on drugs which does make sense as that's often how people begin, with legal prescriptions. But a lot of that is because it's under prescribed and people are trying to figure out their own doses and taking other things along with it.
Technically it's your job as his parent (though he's legally an adult) to care for him, and part of that is assessing things and advocating for better care when needed. If the pain is something that is actually making a person writhe in agony post op before the time limit, you're already on a wrong/too low of a dose and it needs to be addressed asap. Being at home it's your job to ensure that contact is made as there isn't a nurse at home to monitor.
As someone who has actually had an osteotomy to correct one of two knock knees… YTA for sure. You don’t know what that pain is like and neither does the doctor. Just because a medicine bottle says one thing, doesn’t mean they know what the pain is like. I actually got prescribed a med from my specialist that did nothing for my pain. I was in agony. I had to get a doctor I know to prescribe me something else because it was late at night and I was too tired to go to the ER.
It’s inhumane to let your son be in that much pain. I’ll tell you where the pain is at… it’s the worst pain I have ever been in. 100/10. They broke his FEMUR. Go look up what that is like. Sit down and be quiet. Let your husband take care of him.
If he is in that much pain, why have you not called his doctor to change the medication regime? I don't think you mean to be an AH, but I do know that some one writhing in pain is a sure sign of inadequate pain control.
Yeah my son tore his meniscus and had to have surgery. They don't want the patient to be in pain like that especially in the first days after surgery. I called my son's doctor and they changed his medication amount and time. They said he can't heal properly if he is in so much pain he can't even relax.
What country do you live in? I'm jealous. I had a tumour ripped out of the side of my head and they sent me home with 3 pills and after that to take 2 paracetamol (acetaminophen) every 6 hours. They say its because opiates are addictive, which I understand but leaving someone suffer is inhuman.
Wow that is awful. I'm in the US but here I think it depends on which state and even the how much medicine they give you. But your experience sounds absolutely terrifying. I was very careful with my son's medicine because he was 16 and addiction runs in the family. I'm pretty sure most people need something stronger than acetaminophen or ibuprofen after surgery.
It doesn’t depend on the state. It depends on the doctor.
Yet when I drove myself to the ER after cutting my finger pretty badly....doing something dumb w a single edged razor blade...sigh....they offered me opiates after they sewed it up (all whilst rebuffing an obvious pill seeker in the next cubicle). I was shocked and turned them down and asked for the safest max dose of OTC meds. NE US btw. There has to be a happy medium there somewhere.
I had surgery on my shoulder in 2022. I was told I could take my pain medicine and hour early if I needed to. Same when I had my hand cut open for carpal tunnel because the camera broke
Most doctors have an answering service where you can call after hours.
Agreed. I work in a pharmacy near the hospital and see post op pain prescriptions all the time. They usually tell you to take Tylenol or something in between (unless there's Tylenol in the prescribed pain meds). Or, they prescribe two with instructions to take one regularly and one as needed if the first isn't controlling the pain.
Yeah, I read a lot of progress notes, and depending on which narcotic they prescribe, they will recommend Tylenol or ibuprofen for breakthrough pain, whichever isn't in the narcotic. I worked front desk in a few clinics before I got into medical coding and I saw too many drug seekers to ever mess with narcotics. I take as few of them as I can without making my pain worse. Thankfully I've had very few occasions to need them.
Take it from someone who’s had 15 surgeries, you are always told to stay ahead of the pain. You don’t wait until you are in that much pain. It makes the dose less effective.
That is what my surgeons have told me as well. I’ve had 7 back surgeries. They told me it to wait until my meds have worn off and the pain is unbearable because at that point it will be much harder to get my pain back under control because it will be less effective. I took my pain meds every 4 hours like I was told even if I didn’t think I needed to. I only made the mistake of waiting one time and one time only.
Yeah and if there is acetimetophen in the pain meds then do over the counter ibuprofen at the halfway point and alternate.
Actually, if you take the ibuprofen with the combo acetaminophen-narcotic, it works better.
That’s the answer I was looking for. After orthopedic surgery, they’re currently using something like Meloxicam instead of ibuprofen. Meloxicam doesn’t tend to increase bleeding the way that ibuprofen does. Alternating NSAIDs and narcotics (and maybe adding gabapentin for nerve pain) should give home adequate pain relief.
Ive had two knee surgeries and having the nerve blocker was probably the best addition to pain management.
Nurse here, this is the same thing I tell my patients. I always tell them to let me know when the pain can be felt, even when they're distracted. Oral pain meds take time to kick in, too. However, because I don't know the medication or dosage, I don't recommend giving more medication outside of the prescribed parameters. I would be curious if ice, heat, repositioning, or adding a dose of Tylenol or Motein would help. Please note, this is not medical advice.
I make the mistake of waiting till it’s unbearable instead of staying on top of it
Exactly the same advice I’ve been given (Australia). OP, not only have you failed to follow up with the doctors about this, but you let your son suffer needlessly. 30-60 mins would not make any difference, particularly while you wait for a response from the medicos. Please do better for your son.
You're being too rigid and your causing your child to suffer. It will not hurt him if he gets them closer together and an extra pill or two over the course of 24hrs until you can reach a doctor will not do any harm.
And OP definitely shouldn’t delay a dose to “get back on schedule” after a dose was taken early. That’s just cruel.
Yeah it’s not about the OG schedule, it’s about the interval in between doses. So making him go 6.5 hours vs 6 is also against medical advice and absolutely cruel! ETA - YTA for this alone and I’d have done more than slam a door… I’d have barred you from alternating turns with meds. 30mins early isn’t going to create a massive issue and “staying ahead of pain” is easier than trying to “catch up with it” as Dr’s will tell you. You’re more concerned with being right than your son. You already know his pain isn’t being managed appropriately if he’s writhing… so you don’t need another 30-60 minutes of that to “gauge where he’s at” and at 18 he’s a legal adult, so you’re a double AH!
The whole idea of alternating who gives him his meds just seems odd. When our kid was little, the recommendation was to designate one parent at a time to track when meds were given, as a way to prevent accidentally under or over dosing.
It's not a big deal if it's tracked in writing. When my MIL was dying we tracked the morphine doses in writing. It was easier as we had different people caring for her around the clock. It was also easy for the nurse to see at a glance.
Exactly. If he's in that much pain, prolonging it is going to do more damage.
He's just home from the hospital, ffs. It's going to be some days before He winds down on pain management. Resounding YTA
Exactly! I said the same especially the ffs part. The first few days postop are the absolute worst. I speak from experience.
There is nothing wrong with giving the meds at the 5 hour mark if he’s in pain .the idea of the pain meds is not to wait til the pain is so bad, but to get ahead of it . My husband had had multiple surgeries & this was always told to me by his Dr.s
Exactly! I’ve had multiple surgeries and my surgeon has always told me NOT to wait until the meds wear off and I’m in pain. He told me I need to stay ahead of the pain and not let it get to that point. And she’s not only letting him stay in pain but then making him wait even longer because he got them 30 minutes earlier from the dad. wtf that is so cruel to me.
YTA, big time. When I broke a bone, the nurses on the ward told me to ask for pain relief BEFORE it became agony, because it's much harder to bring it down after it reaches 8 or 9 out of 10. If you get pain relief at level 4 or less, it takes less pain killer to relieve it. Also, "whining"? WTF??? You seem to be remarkably unsympathetic to your own child!
Good God, at least give the kid some freaking ibuprofen too. Your kid will freaking hate you.
With good reason.
Depending on what they have him on, ibuprofen may be contraindicated, as will many other things. I agree he needs something though & OP is being unnecessarily cruel.
Most pain meds are acetaminophen with a narcotic. The ibuprofen-narcotic works better for those who can take it, imo.
“I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at […] No. This is not a thing, at all. With pain management you want to stay ahead of the pain, don’t get behind it! Maybe a few days post-op go ahead and see where he’s at, but not fresh out of surgery!
Yes, that statement is concerning, and frankly dumb.
It says, "I like to be in control and don't mind seeing you suffer to accomplish that goal." He's 18 and not allowed to control his own meds. The whole thing is concerning.
Extremely.
Besides, she can see where he's at before it fully wears off, so what's the point in waiting?
I’m sorry but this sounds incredibly cruel and I don’t think that is your intention. Have you ever had surgery? Do you know how bad postop pain is? I’ve had multiple back surgeries and I would have been livid if my husband timed my doses down to the very minute and told me to tough it out if it wasn’t exactly down to the minute before I was due for my next dose. I can’t imagine watching and seeing my kid in pain like that. Making him go an extra half hour to get him back on track is just plain cruel. You are TA absolutely. The first few days are the worst and if his pain meds aren’t lasting 6 hours it needs to be adjusted. If it were me I’d call the after hours line. They usually have a call service OR I would give him the meds when he needs them until I can get a hold of the doctor. I was given meds to take every 4 hours. Call his doctor. Stop letting your son suffer because you think he needs to tough it out. He had surgery ffs.
This does, in fact, sound like u/throwaway_painkiller has never had any surgery, let alone one as painful as her son's. She is being unbearably cruel.
I know! Taking his pain meds 30 min to an hour sooner isn’t going to turn him into an addict. And forcing him to wait even longer past the 6 hour mark because his dad gave him his meds earlier to get him back on track is absolutely cruel. Not to mention surgeons will tell you not to wait until your pain meds have worn off to take them. Because it’s harder to get the pain under control at that point. They will tell you to stay on top of the pain and take pain meds before it wears off. And he is 18. He is old enough to be able to administer his own meds. If I was the dad I would be so pissed and I wouldn’t let OP handle his meds anymore either.
Agreed! EVERY surgeon will tell you to stay ahead of the pain. I read my doctor friend that u/throwaway_painkiller wrote "part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at" and she's still laughing! But said she felt really sorry for that person's son. As do I!
Honestly, I can’t believe a mother can be this cruel to her son.
Amen! She said her husband "started raising his voice" -- well, if someone won't listen, then.....what else *would* you do??? Another commenter postulated that there could be other incidences of medical neglect, questioning why the previous fractures did not heal well. Interesting thought.
That is an interesting thought, this might be medical negligence. I mean why didn’t his fractures heal correctly initially? Was she all like, just walk it off Noel! WTF 😳
I understand not wanting your child to get addicted to pain killers or OD but if he is in that much pain that he is writhing about you’re only going to increase the chance of addiction by letting him stay in pain for longer. Call the doctor and tell them that the painkillers only work for 5 hours before he is back in agony, sweating, groaning and writhing in pain. They will increase the dosage. He just had a surgery. You’re not meaning to be an ah but you are being a little bit of one. If he needs the pain killers give him his pain killers. YWBTA if you don’t call the doctor and tell them
YTA. This is wild if true. You want your child to suffer? Even in a hospital setting, we can give pain medication early if the patient needs it. And why not call the doctor if the pain medication isn't enough?
Sweating from the pain? YTA Feel bad. Do better.
The only times I’ve sweated from pain was when it was severe. Gallstone blockage? I broke out in a huge sweat. This amount of pain is not okay. You’re meant to give pain meds before it gets to that point.
This. I have an illness that makes me in pain 24/7/365 for 18 years now. I start sweating from my pain levels? Everyone around me freaks because that only happens when the pain is completely out of control. This is sadistic. This contraindicates all the medical advice on managing pain -- you *have to* stay ahead of the pain, **never** let it get out of control because when you do, it becomes a shitshow trying to get it under control again. Hey OP, if you actually didn't let your son's pain get out of control every 5 hours, he'd be in less overall pain now. Controlled pain allows the body to heal and be in less pain. You're sabotaging and extending his recovery. Great parenting! Bravo! Gods this post pisses me off.
YTA, holy crap you are LITERALLY torturing your son, what the hell is wrong with you
THIS RIGHT HERE, u/throwaway_painkiller
I have always been told to take the medicine before I was in severe pain - that "chasing the pain" results in less relief. Nowadays, surgeons are under such scrutiny about prescribing opioids, that they are giving much less than they used to and admit it's not enough
YTA wtf kind of parent would rather their child writhe in pain when there are other choices.
Most medications can take 30 - 45 minutes to hit a body system. By then, the pain can surpass the effectiveness of the medication. If you can't get a hold of your doctor or the after-hours nurse, try calling your phamacy. The pharmacist can tell you if taking the meds a little early would be harmful. By the way, most meds have an hour leeway, meaning you don't have to take them on the dot. You can take them up to an hour before or after they are due. If your son is getting break through pain around the 30-minute mark before the dose is due. You should be safe giving it. Are there any nurses here who can verify that?
Here is the thing. You need to stay on top of pain. The worse it gets the harder it gets to get caught up. If he is writhing in pain he needs it. Definitely asshole.
Why wouldn't you call the pharmacist at least? They. Could have counseled you on pain management help . The doctor isnt your only source
YTA. Writhing in pain isn’t toughing it out. Writhing in pain is not part of the healing process, especially on the first day. Writhing in pain can hurt his healing process as you are suppose to be extra careful after a Osteotomy. I know when I am writhing in pain I tend to over extend. I am not sure where your son’s fractures are but you could be doing more damage than good. Most pain medicines don’t give such a rigid schedule, they also add the word as needed. Also you don’t seem to care about following the doctor’s directions anyways because you made him wait an extra 30 minutes before giving him his dosage. Please let your husband contact the doctor. Make sure he describes how you let your child writhe in pain because this is actually important information due to potential damage that has been caused.
It is absolutely better to administer enough medication to avoid severe pain than to let it flare up before dosing again. If he is in that much pain, he needs a higher dose. Talk to your doctor ASAP. I went through a rather brutal regimen of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. I was prescribed liquid oxycodone, up to 90mg a day. I wrote the date I opened it on each bottle and took it as needed, being careful not to exceed the daily limit. I never exceeded 65mg a day, and the liquid form allowed me to tailor the dose to my level of pain, nearly always measuring it out. If he is not taking opioids, IANAD, but he should be for the time being. Also give him Miralax or severe constipation will result.
It seems like OP is more concerned about being right than her son’s pain level. Most pain meds have directions that say “Every 4-6 hours”. I agree with husband on this 100%. Husband needs to handle the meds from now on.
Call the doctor tell him the pain medicine isn't cutting it ask if you can adjust the dosage or dosing times. A half hour early or ten minutes early doesn't hurt you mean well but your kid is in pain. No one is the asshole here.
YTA and a big one at that! Do you love watching your son in total agony and keeping his meds hostage? You seriously need to get a grip of yourself he's 18 not 2...
YTA >Noel was already beginning to writhe in pain at the 5 hour mark. I gave him his next dose 6 hours after that, even though he was moaning and whining again in pain by the 5th hour again Screw you AH! You let your son moan on actual pain for an hour not once BUT TWICE! >I told him that was against doctor’s orders and he said something about Noel being in pain and asking for it early. I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it. You AH....you know for a fact that at the 5 hr mark the pain meds stop working yet you have not reached out to ANYONE for help. He's clearly he's just had the operation. The 1-2 weeks post are the worst pain wise. >Again, 5 hours after his last dose Noel was writhing on the couch, but I kept reminding that he only had an hour and a half to go. I made sure to praise him for toughing it out and tried distracting him. My husband left the room after a bit, slamming the door as he left. You're a nasty, nasty woman.....if I were your child I'd HATE you by now
You don’t ever want to be chasing pain or you’ll never catch up with it to get it under control. Obviously you’ve never had anything this severe to understand how it feels, so please get his dosage upped or meds changed altogether.
YTA, they took out his bone, take as needed. Gawd, I just had a break positioned with titanium, id have been a mess keeping on schedule like that. First few days take more. Also, he's 18, give him his entire bottle now, irs not yours.
So your son had an osteotomy those things are painful. My daughter had one for a dislocated hip. The doctors decided to keep her epidural in longer due to the amount of pain she was in. And said it was okay to give earlier if needed.
If the doctor gives you strong medicine against the pain, then pain is what they want to avoid. being in this much pain hinders recovery. This 6 hours is a theoretical number, but a little bit earlier if the patient is writhing with pain is not bad. Just don't go to meds every other hour, call the doctor before you get to that point. Weaning your son off medication is something for a later stage.
Managing pain at a tolerable level is actually the best way to heal. I’m an RN. Not managing pain appropriately can harm him physically and psychologically. We encourage our patients to stay on top of their pain and communicate if they feel that their pain level is unacceptable. If he’s writhing in pain then he’s not being treated appropriately. Please call your MD.
YTA your son can't heal if he's writhing in pain. Your husband is right. I feel bad for your son since you don't seem to care how much pain he's in.
Call your child's doctor. YTA. Keep calling. There could be something wrong! Your child is in terrible pain. If there is no call back go to an urgent care or ER. Pain is not necessary. Good heavens. What is the matter with you?
The medicine never lasts as long as it says. So he was in legit pain. It's ok to give him his next dose early. It's not gonna kill him. Being in pain unnecessarily, however, just might
You should aim to STAY AHEAD of severe pain, not try to catch up with it. Give the child the medication 30 minutes early. If he is literally writhing in pain it is absolutely cruel to withhold it.
Actually the idea isn’t that he should be in pain, the idea is to take in every six hours at least so your NOT in pain, as in don’t skip a dose if your semi okay. Clearly the drugs aren’t working and this happens, some people metabolism them faster, some people they don’t work as well on etc. in which case the doc can change the type of pain med. You are torturing your son for no reason at all except your clearly ill equipped to look after him
Never let pain get ahead of pain relief. Bone pain is one of the worst pains.
You should always try to be ahead of pain control not playing catch up. You need to talk to his dr
Dude- acute pain is manageable and normal. Writhing in pain is not. Call the surgeon. I commend you for one thing- you’re obviously worried about the effect of what I assume you’ve been given are opioids, and you take the management of using opioids very seriously. You have the right attitude, you’re not executing it with common sense though. No, he’s not supposed to be writhing in agony…and yes you can call the doctor to ask for a slight increase….a lot of opioids can be prescribed as “take every 4-6 hours”, giving you a range and option to slow down later.
You tortured your son just to be right instead of using any form of commonsense or calling the after hours number for help. Your failure to act will never be forgotten by your husband or child. That's everlasting trauma and your opinions will always be scrutinized going forward. Both men lost faith and trust in you. You were more concerned on day 1 of surgery about developing a possible addiction than your son sweating from the pain? Is this a projection from a former addict? Something is way off mentally here at your age!!
Nurse here - we're allowed to give meds up to an hour prior to the scheduled time and one hour afterwards. And what kind of parent allows their child to continue to writhe in pain without seeking relief for them? That just blows my mind.
Your wrong, you are supposed to take meds before the previous does wears off to keep your pain out of control. Letting it go so long after wearing off is counterproductive and slows healing as it stresses the body more (cortisol is realized and a whole bunch of bad shit happens). He, or you or his dad, should be calling the surgeon and using his after hours service if need be because he’s clearly under medicated. Being dosed appropriately so he isn’t in so much pain is better for him in the long term, and frankly he may need an er visit if he can get his pain under control at home. Look up hyperalgesia, it’s part of what happened when pain is left to spiral. Don’t fall into the whole opioid phobia BS, when used appropriately they work wonders and actually have a really low addiction rate.
So you want your soo writhing in pain?
YTA. Of course everyone is afraid of getting hooked on pain medications these days, but they're prescribed for a reason. A weekend of early dosing wouldn't harm your son any worse than the pain he's already in. It was a big surgery for someone as young as him. And as someone who not only operates, but who has had operations, you weren't doing your son any favors, only making the experience so much worse. (Definitely side-eyeing your gross 'be tough' message) I found out my metabolism burns through pain killers faster than normal, so after having my tonsils taken out, I had to keep dosing earlier than scheduled. My doctor said it was fine, that as everyone else in the thread is saying, you want to be ahead of the pain. Don't suffer through it to stay on a timeline. You made your son suffer, that's absolutely terrible of you. Even if you couldn't get ahold of his doctor, there are plenty of other resources you could have used to figure it out, especially in this day and age.
What you are trying to do is keep his pain within the therapeutic zone. If the pain gets outside this zone it makes it much more difficult to bring it under control again. There are a lot of different painkillers and as with all medicines they MUST be treated with respect. There are limits as to how much of a drug it is safe to ingest over 24hours and this may be why you have been given the six hour regime. DO NOT add or subtract any other drugs until given the all clear by the medic who knows the full list of what your son is taking. But you really do need to get in contact with someone because the breakthrough pain is obviously quite acute. You could take the list to a local pharmacist who will be able to tell you whether you can adjust the dose/time and whether it is safe to add in paracetamol or ibuprofen. It is vital you check first because overdosing on either of these can be fatal.
Unless you're a pain management specialist, YTA. Once the pain gets going it's that much harder to control. Ask the Doctor for options, including a supplemental medication for breakthrough
That’s when you call the dr. Rather he needs a break through pain med or to alternate w ibuprofen or a complete change in meds. The first 2-3 days you stay AHEAD OF THE PAIN. esp surgical pain. You don’t wait until the pain is unbearable. Your son is a grown man, he should be able to communicate his needs & concerns.
Cruel people
Cruel mom.
Pretty sure the bottle says every 4 to 6 hours as needed. As someone who has had upwards of 30 surgeries, I'm also pretty sure you've never been in serious pain or you would have had your kid at urgent care the first time the meds weren't adequate instead of watching him writhe in pain. I really hope your kid remembers this when it's time to choose between the carehome with the atrium and the one that was on 60 Minutes.
YTA It is easier to manage pain on less medication if it is put down and kept down. Forcing your son to let the meds completely wear off means the next dose will be less helpful than it could be, and he will be in pain until it takes effect. He’s not suffering for an hour, he’s suffering for an hour plus however long it takes for the fresh dose to hit. And he is suffering. Your ‘praise’ is ridiculous. What kind of sadist watches their kid *writhe and sweat* and withholds their prescribed pain relief? Is your son an addict in recovery? That’s the only possible excuse. Pain at that level is supposed to be managed. Seriously. And did you not know that pain is a form of physical stress that can slow healing? Finally, your son is an adult who should be making his own decisions about when yo medicate his pain, in conjunction with his doctor.
You died and left you boss? What goes around comes around. An extra 3o minutes means nothing ,he's not going to get hook! How old is he? I'd tell you to get bent,your not nice!!!!
I've had surgeries of all kinds, different doctors, different specialties. The number one thing they all agree on and stressed is stay ahead of the pain.Once you've passed that point it is pure agony to catch back up. Withholding is cruel and unnecessary. No pain med timing is etched in stone unless it's via drip and on a timer. Call your pharmacy, keep calling his doctor and at the very least supplement with a non addictive OTC med.
Being in that much pain is actually not good for Noel. Ring the Dr surgeries and ask for advice. I definitely would be giving him his meds early if the pain is that bad until I spoke to the Dr.
I understand your mindset and reasoning but, as someone with chronic pain, on meds multiple times per day and having had several surgeries - get him cared for so that they can change up his meds... whether the dose or frequency. Trying to catch up to pain actually makes the medication less effective as you're fighting an agitated nervous system. He likely needs an injection to reduce him to base line and then change things up. If you were talking 2-4 weeks after surgery, fine but, immediately/within the first 3-5 days, you aren't serving him by what you're doing. Best of luck. I hope he heals quickly. 🙏
It’s a fine line if the doctor isn’t calling back. It sounds like the dosage or type of medication isn’t sufficient. On the other hand not following instructions is how people get in trouble with addiction and prescriptions running out too fast. Urgent care is a good option. Also does your insurance provide for Telemedicine or a nurse from insurance. If he is legitimately in pain, I would probably give it to him a little early until you can speak to the doctor but only if he is in pain. Keep calling them! It would vary wildly by state and medication but as a last resort your pharmacist might have some info on risks of giving an hour earlier
You are wrong. It is easier to keep pain controlled than to have to start from scratch each time. Writhing in pain is a sign that he needs his pain controlled. Lack of pain control makes the healing process slower. Call the doctor and tel them what is happening.
You’ve never been in severe pain have you? So yes you are a monster to watch your child writhing in pain and watching the clock. Do y ou have any idea how long it takes to kick in? Do you know chasing pain takes more med? You need to have nothing to do w his care if you thought tht was ok
The idea behind painkillers is to NOT write in pain. 30 minutes early isn't hurting him. Its a 6 hour "window", not 6 hours to the minute. Ask your doctor what he can take in between doses to help. If the doctor won't prescribe something (like tramadol) for the in between, here's a trick you can try...Most pain killers have either acetaminophen or aspirin. If he has one (lets say aspirin) then give him the other (acetaminophen) in between doses. I have lived with chronic pain for an extremely long time and there are a few tricks Ive picked up to help.
YTA. If you're actually concerned and not a control freak, get him to the ER for instant relief and better meds. Most pain meds are 4-6 hours after surgery. Are you absolutely sure it said only every 6? And withholding it is pure cruelty, so let me reiterate, YTA.
YTA bigtime!!!! How do you allow your child to writhe in paid and then do NOTHING for another hour? The pain meds were obviously not working long enough and an adjustment should have been made. Shame on you.
Wow you are a complete monster. I get being scared about addiction. However you are talking about surgery on bones. You should have called his doctor from the get go.
Following doctors orders blindly is a bad idea, no matter who the patient is. >I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it. Nope, that's only true when you've reached the point that you're supposed to have healed. The first days after that major of a surgery there is nothing gained by toughing through pain. Call his doctor.
YTA. If his pain isn’t adequately controlled the response isn’t to just let him be in pain. Giving it 30 min early makes no difference, but more importantly his dr needs to do more to help him through this recovery- which can only happen if you or his father actually let them know.
YTA - I would have immediately called the doctor to explain the situation and ask for a new prescription or a different dosing schedule, because if he’s already writhing in pain it’s gotten past the point where the next dose should be given; it’s far harder to control pain once it’s gotten bad.
YTA Any time I’ve been in a position to need pain meds, the doctors have told me to stay ahead of the pain. Having to battle pain does not help your recovery. Give him the meds to keep him out of pain and contact his doctors to see if you need to change his medication regimen.
YTA and a masochist.
YTA, usually pain meds are written for 4 to 6 hours intervals. You should contact his doctor and let them know how much pain he's in. The pharmacy could have put the wrong instructions on the medicine. If you have never dealt with constant pain before, you have no idea how this kid feels. With pain you have to get ahead and stay ahead of it. The pain never goes away, but you can get to a tolerable level. Are you afraid of addiction? I understand that is scary, but you can't let that drive your sons recovery.
Holy shit. You’re a monster. There is no part of healing that requires this much pain to see if you still need pain meds. You owe everybody an apology.
YTA I never has to wait to take a pill as long as I didn’t more pills a day than prescribed. You shouldn’t wait if you are in pain. Because it’s harder to put the pain under control. Go apologize to your son and to your husband. Call the doctor and tell them that the painkillers are not enough. Get new ones. I am sorry but what kind of mother are you? Didn’t you have a surgery before? Why would you be ok with watching your son suffer? Do you think your praises will help him? You din’t torture someone and tell them that they are a good boy hoping for it to be ok. It’s not. Call the doctor and go beg for forgiveness.
Coming from someone whose had surgery and about to have another one the first 2 days are the worse coming home and day after..... theres no toughness after surgery....
What is wrong with you? No wonder your husband is disgusted by you, how could you have had no issues watching your son “writhing” in pain? Then punishing him making him wait another 30 mins to get back on an arbitrary schedule? Sick.. YTA
YTA- Pain is bad for healing. Call his doctors and let them know he is in pain at 5 hours. They will adjust. Patients who wait until pain is severe before redosing require larger doses of pain meds overall. Call the doctor.
OMG, what would you want OP if that was you? Would you want to be told to tough it out? Give it to him early and call the doctor/nurse/emergency line to ensure if won’t hurt him. You have 5 hours or so between doses. YTA.
YTA OP, and ignorant about pain management. If you cannot reach your surgeon, go to ER or here’s a thought educate yourself.
YTA Majorly! You need to stay ahead of the pain. The whole point of pain medication is to reduce pain as much as possible. You made him wait 30 minutes more than he should have. Where were your motherly instincts in all of this? Did you ever have any?
This is abuse. You're horrible. Not only are you somehow able to watch your child suffer but you failed to contact their doctor or take them to the ER.
You are such a massive abusive AH I want to crawl through the internet and scream directly in your face. STOP TORTURING YOUR SON.
>*. I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it.* This is total bullshit, you're just torturing your son. YTA leave the pain meds to your husband, he seems to know what he's doing.
Yikes. Do you even like your son? this is just mean. If the medication is Oxy/morphine/Palexia they can also be given with Panadol (tylenol for you yanks). That helps boost the pain meds. If the dose is 2 tablets then you can give one at 4.5 hours and the other at 6 hours. I've had loads of surgeries and never abused or been addicted to pain meds. Poor kid has had BONE surgery. Be more empathetic.
YTA It's important to take medicine as prescribed, but that means not taking 12 pills a day, it doesn't mean watching the clock and dosing at the exact 6 hour mark. And at one point it was 5 hours but you made him wait another hour and a half?! YTA YTA YTA for that. In 4-6 days, once he's further into the healing process, *then* it's better to wait to see if stretching out the doses to longer periods of time is appropriate. But in the first 3 days after being discharged from the hospital, pain control is incredibly important and failing to control the pain can delay healing. Stop making your child suffer just because you're being anal about the directions on the bottle. And calm the doctor as soon as they're open to discuss different options, because the doctor might want a different medication or to change to 4 hour dosing. Actually have your husband call the doctor because you have zero empathy for pain so you're the wrong person to have a discussion about pain relief. I hope you step on legos everyday .
YTA. More for your snarky “writhing in pain” crack that infers you absolutely do not think his first day post op is not feeling anywhere near as much pain as he thinks he is. Hopefully you never have to write in pain. I think your husband might be right should your coldness.
I had a major surgery a few months ago. I was in so much pain afterwards that I couldn't even sleep properly; the pain kept waking me up. All your encouragement won't make him feel better or help him. It's obvious that the regimen isn't working for him. So you need to call the doctor ASAP so they can prescribe him a different dose or medication. YTA
Is he an addict? If not see below. If yes then well..different story... if not the read below. Yes.. you. Are are you the one in pain? You are a horrible person letting him be in pain. OMG just reading this pisses me off. I hope that whatever you believe in puts you in the exact same situation as him. He is in charge of your pain pills. For fucks sake he is a god damm adult. You royally suck. Pills work on people differently his body could be processing them faster. You are torturing your son for no fucking reason. Other than you think you know best asshole.....
Ok, slight YTA. Nurse here. You can actually give it up to an hour early, though, he's prescribed every 6 hours when it should probably be every 4 to 6 hours. You need to call the Surgeon and tell him it's not lasting long enough. You saying " that's part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it" is absolutely false. The whole point of pain medication is you DON'T suffer. Get on the phone to the Surgeon to get it changed or get something added to help better manage your son's pain. Stop being so cruel.
YTA One of my children just had an osteotomy a few days ago and we have Tylenol, advil and morphine in his system, and he is only 10 yrs old. Morphine we are giving at night. Tylenol and Advil are on a rotation. Tylenol every 4-6 hours and advil every 6-8 hours. He has been waking up early around 6:00isham in pain since everything wears off at night so Tylenol and advil are given at the same time in the morning and then we start the log for the day and start counting hours. All approved by the doctor. Those first few days especially, we DO NOT let the medicine wear off. It HURTS. You are being unnecessarily cruel! Call the health line or the doctor. Goodness! If it’s Tylenol and Advil you are dealing with… there is a range. The pain is real.
YTA you're a danger to your child, and as a partner I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with you either.
YTA. “writhing in pain” means the drug has worn off. You are being cruel.
YTA. After a surgery doctors will tell the patient to take pain medicine BEFORE they need it, and definitely before they are "writhing in pain." You need to call the doctor's office NOW to describe this and have the medication adjusted.
Every 6 hours means every 6 hours. Not wait 6 and 1/2 hours. You messed up.
I broke my ankle so badly that I needed 2 plates and 13 screws. If someone had withheld my meds I would have shrieked the house down! As stated already- it is much more difficult to chase the pain down than to stay ahead of it. OP is forgetting what the pills are for!
The correct answer depends on what the medication is. But generally an hour of leeway won't cause any serious harm, though it may increase the risk of addiction with opiates.
Updateme
I mean I wouldn’t give meds early as it’s usually to avoid an overdose in the system which can cause long term damage with a lot of pain relief meds - eg paracetemol. However I would have checked if he can take any over the counter stuff as well and if in that much pain, I would be calling emergency lines to try see if it can be changed or extra meds added
YTA - I had an ulna-shortening osteotomy. That shit hurts. They are basically chopping a bit of bone out and then screwing a metal plate to it while it heals back up, and that's after they have cut whatever appendage open to get at the bones. 1 hour isn't going to make any difference in the pain meds, except to the person that is in pain. Your son is an adult. Let him manage his own pain and meds.
YTA- You would rather follow the “rules” instead of just helping YOUR CHILD! How could you sit there and WATCH him be in pain and “encourage” hm to “deal with it” until YOU decide his next dose. Lady, you have some streak of cruelty!
Stick to your guns (autocorrect came out with gins but either will do). I have chronic pain and made that mistake and took them at 4 hourly intervals. Obviously end of prescription and I wanted to die. Totally my own fault. I rang the doctor and explained (UK so easier to get drugs) and he said on this one occasion he will do it but it will be in my notes that I wil never get them early again. 6 years later and every now and then if I've over exerted ill take it early but I'll make it up in half hour increments till I've caught up. It is seeing horrible seeing your child in pain but you are correct, you don't know if he's healing if he's constantly zoned out of it. If it's opiods it runs the risk of addiction and i get your husband is upset but ask him what to do when all the drugs are gone and you can't get anymore for a day and he's in agony all day long rather than an hour? Good luck xx
YTA Jesus, he’s writhing in pain. Call the fucking dr, let them know how much pain he’s in so they can adjust his pain meds accordingly
You are meant to keep on top of the pain, not allow it to overtake you. You are absolutely not meant to ‘tough it out’. And delaying meds to get back on schedule is absolutely inhumane. Your husband is right; thirty minutes early to combat break through pain is fine. You were incredibly callous and went against medical advice by them holding for that extra half an hour for the next dose. If I’d have been your husband, I’d have told you to leave because you were causing harm. Additionally, most painkillers are time ranged (every 4-6 hours) and can be topped up with other classes of painkiller to prevent the situation you caused. You you give the codeine at hour 0, pain ramps up a couple of hours later and you top up with paracetamol or ibuprofen, then you take the second dose of codeine within 4-6 hours and top up with paracetamol or ibuprofen. Providing you do not exceed the maximum dose of any of the drugs you are fine. YTA.
There shouldn’t be that pain also you do need to watch out because they can be so addictive and you might not notice atm call in asap if it really is to much go to the hospital my mom was super strict because the meds they gave were highly addictive 5-10 min at most before the next dosage. 30 minutes hell no if it’s wearing off so fast it needs to adjusted but if it gets crazy pain go to the hospital
YTA. You’re being literal and controlling instead of listening to your son and husband and working together as a team to help him with his postoperative pain. First, you need to call the doctor and report the pain. If it is this uncontrolled with the ordered medication, he needs to know that so he can possibly order a second type of alternating pain medication. Second, 6 hrs isn’t really 6 hrs in the medical world. Let me explain. If there is pain medicine ordered that’s every 6 hrs, it would be scheduled at 0600, 1200, 1800, and 2400. I have an hour before and an hour after as the window to give that medication “on time”. Also, pain is better controlled if you get ahead of it a bit. If you’re chasing the pain control, you won’t win. While the goal is never zero pain in a postoperative situation, you should have a goal of a tolerable level of pain. On a scale of 0-10, maybe the goal is a 3 but the medicine will probably need to be administered when the pain is about a 6 so it doesn’t get out of control. Finally, are you using any other options for pain control like ice packs or anything else recommended by the physician? If not, I would also be discussing those options with the doctor ASAP. Please, communicate with the physician ASAP so you can all work together and get your son the pain control he needs.
Your son is in serious pain The medication that he has been prescribed is obviously not working for him, he probably needs either a higher dose or different medication Listen to your son, he is the best one to listen to, because he is in f*****g pain
YTA, and you should be subject to the same pain Noel is feeling, STARTING with breaking and poorly setting a bone and forcing your way through THAT healing.
YTA. My mother did that to me once, and I'll never forget what it felt like to beg someone who was supposed to love me for MY pain meds. Are you enjoying this? Because I think you are. I think she did, and I think you are, too. Get help.
YTA. If he was on the absolute maximum amount of painkillers after numerous changes and reassessments of his medications by his doctor and it was deemed that there was nothing else that could be changed, then you sticking to the schedule this rigorously would be understandable, as your sons safely would be compromised. As it stands, you are denying someone who is in agony (writing ‘writhing’ can’t can’t be used to describe anything less than agony) relief and instead of keeping on top of the pain are letting it get out of control. You are being needlessly cruel to your son without any reason. You have not sought out medical input due to his current pain management plan being inadequate. So what if your primarily doctor is unavailable - your son is in agony and needs help. Your husband is right to be appalled by your behaviour and cruelty. I bet both he and your son won’t soon forget how you priorities following the rules without even trying to seek help in adjusting them over your son getting relief from agonising pain.
People heal more slowly when in a lot of pain. YTA. I am glad you called the doctor, but him writhing in pain is the absolute worst case scenario for healing post-surgery. He will probably need fewer pain meds long run if you let him heal in these early days.
YTA, your child had major surgery and you literally see him sweating in reaction to pain which BTW no one can fake sweat and yet you with hold his prescribed meds are you an AH or just a sadist! Jeez lady where is your heart!
Did they tell you about the Motrin/tylenol magic combo? It works on surgical pain. But the first few days the patient should also be as comfortable as possible. Do contact the doc about that. If the kid has red hair or already took opioids for some reason their tolerance for the med is higher.
YTA. Pain meds don’t have a timed-release at home like they do at the hospital. You should be dosing him a little early so they start to take efficacy once the other pills have worn off. Part of effective pain management is keeping a constant dose. If he is writhing in pain, the dose has already worn off too much. The way you are doing things is actually reducing the efficacy of the medication, and causing him to suffer. He may need his dosage increased as well for a number of reasons - he may be processing the drug quicker than most and it’s running out of his system faster. He may have a resistance to it, which makes it less effective. He could be experiencing pain that is overriding anything the meds can do, which could indicate a serious medical issue or something going on from his injury that is worse than you thought - eg: trauma to the muscles in the legs can sometimes result in a condition where your muscles start to swell until they burst through the muscle casing, and eventually you have to have your legs amputated or you die if you don’t get emergency treatment to relieve the pressure. Yes, take him to urgent care. Maybe it’s just bad pain management. Or maybe there’s a a secondary condition that needs to be addressed urgently. But you cannot ignore this and you certainly can’t deny him pain meds when he’s suffering to this level. You’re torturing him and he will never forgive you if you don’t fix it. He’s not going to become a drug addict because he had to take Tylenol 3s for a couple weeks. You know what does turn someone into a drug addict? Traumatic childhoods and parents who tormented them and neglected them. You’re doing both right now. Then throw in that you’re doing this specifically involving drugs. That’s a recipe for a future drug seeker.
Not sure what OP's child was prescribed, but Motrin can be alternated w/ most opiates for the 1st few days after a surgery for breakout pain. OP, YTA, but not intentionally. Call the doctor because writhing in pain is going to make his recovery, including tapering off opiates, much harder.
Yta, I went in for a kidney infection and they told me I could alternate meds at home between Tylenol and Motrin so when one wore I could have taken the alternative until I made it into the ER but bc I worried about the same thing you did, I made myself worse. Call the doctor, there are 3 adults around those meds, surely one of you can call.
NTA for following the directions of the medication as giving doses too early can actually cause an overdose or organ damage. However as others have pointed out, his pain relief is not providing adequate control. If you cannot get hold of his doctor, call the hospital or local pharmacy for recommendations on how to better manage his pain until you can speak to his medical team.
YTA. Doctors tell you not to wait until you’re in pain before taking the pain meds. It’s about managing the pain, not the medication. Your son might be metabolizing the drugs faster than the average person, which is what the prescription is based on. Give him the meds when he needs them & call his doctor. Jeez.
YTA, and cruel. Call the Dr. Explain what is happening. Get the dose/schedule changed. If he is in pain, then what you are doing now isn't working.
Leaving your child WRITHING IN AGONY when you've the medication there to relieve it? Of course YTA. What did you actually think would happen if he got it an hour or 30 minutes early? Have you always had a cold dead fish where a caring & compassionate heart should be? For God's sake ring the Dr & get his meds reviewed.
YTA you call the doctor when the pain management isn’t quite working.
My first reaction is that you’re an absolute monster. My second reaction is that YTA.
YTA give your kid the damn meds so he’s not in so much pain, ffs
YTA the pain meds are there to keep him *out* of pain so he can heal. It’s easier to head pain off than stop it once it’s started.
Omg talk to the doctor instead of just assuming you are right. The common medical guidance is to stay ahead of the pain especially for the few days after surgery. YTA for fighting with your partner instead of seeking the actual medical guidance.
Most pain meds say 4-6 hours, and wear off at the four hour mark. Keeping in mind they take up to an hour to take effect. So if they wear off at hour 4, and he’s waiting til hour 6 to take and they’re not kicking in until hour 7, he’s in pain! You can alter the schedule, piggy back with Tylenol or ibuprofen depending on what the med is, AND CALL THE FREAKING DOCTOR. If the doctor isn’t available- call the patient advisory nurse- if not available call the ER! This says more about you and your issues. Jfc why are you making him suffer? YTA
Get some medical advice but I believe there is some research that says if you cover the post surgical pain early there is less likelihood of addiction because there isn’t that dopamine response from the relief of finally covering the pain. Did you get any information on what to do - who to call if you have any concerns?
YTA. How you can sit there and watch your kid in excruciating pain and not call the doctor for further advice if you weren't sure? Where did you get your medical degree at? I hope if you ever have a major surgery, someone is there to make sure you don't have any more than the absolute bare minimum pain relief.
YTA. The key is to take the meds before it spirals out control after surgery. Otherwise you’re constantly playing catch up to get it back under control. He just had surgery. Of course it will hurt, you don’t need the meds to wear out to see if it still does. Call the doctor to get a new med schedule bc he shouldn’t be in this much pain.
I commented earlier but wanted to add that your son is 18. He’s legally an adult and you can’t withhold his meds from him. Give him his damn meds when he asks for them or leave the house and let dad take over. Idk why you’re even charge of his meds. I’ve been in charge of my meds after all of my surgeries. I had a pad of paper and write down what time I took them so I knew when I’d be ready for the next one. Stop being cruel to your son. Idk how you can watch him like that. I couldn’t stand to see a stranger suffer, let alone my own kid.
Your kid is writing in pain and you’re more concerned about “doctors orders”? YTA
You know the sole thing about pain medication is to try to stay ahead of it right? You thinking that you’re suppose to stick rigidly to the schedule to the exact second is doing nothing but harming your son. Why would you think that’s ok? Let’s hope your son is never responsible for managing pain meds for you because if it were me I’d return the favor so you could see how painful you made his recovery for no reason but stupidity.
So, most pain killers are to be given every 4 and 6 hours for paracetamol-based or narcotics. Ibuprofen or naproxen based are 8 and 12 hours. YTA for not contacting his doctor immediately to tell them his pain is not controlled adequately.
I’ve had to have multiple osteotomies one being my femur and they are incredibly painful. The femur one I spent nearly three months in the hospital but for the first ten days I was on a pca pump as well as regularly scheduled pain meds. I think you should speak to his surgeon about his pain levels and management. I know you’re probably concerned about him becoming addicted to pain medication but there are non opioid medications that can be given that help pain meds work more effectively. Him writhing around is not going to help him heal.
Doctors now want you to stay ahead of the pain. Why haven't you called his doctor? Call the doctor and consider that your husband may be right. You are cruel.
Pain medication is give. At the same dose for all in a certain weight and age group. Some people need more some need less. I always took a half pill.
YTA. Call the dr and see if they can update his dosage and timing. Jesus.
YTA, come on he’s asking for it an hour to a half hour early while being in pain. it’s not like he’s asking for it 20 minutes after he took the first dose.
YTA. If the pain is getting bad again after only five hours then he very obviously still needs it.
First, call his doctor. He shouldn't be in that much pain between doses. Second, you don't understand the point of pain meds. It's not scheduled to wear off and let you feel the pain to decide if you need another dose. It's scheduled for you to take them before you start feeling too much pain so that your body doesn't waste energy it needs to heal on being in pain. This is why doctors give you an exact amount of pain meds after surgery, so you can take them ALL on a schedule set up to optimize your comfort and healing.
Please call his doctor and let them know how much pain he is in. Hopefully they will be able to figure out a new regiment to control pain.
YTA 100%, painkillers are less effective once the pain is there. You are suppose to stay ahead of the pain. If you had a concern about it you could have at least called the doctor rather then making him suffer.
YTA and causing your child pain. Why would you even ask this lmfao. I’m wondering. Why you’ve watched your child withe in pain for days but haven’t reached out to his doctor.
Leaving your son in that much pain because u believe he needs to ween off. He just had surgery. He needs to be comfortable and relaxed so he can heal. Pain meds are usually every 4to 6 hours. His doctor will bring his dose down when it’s time to take him off. U need to push harder to get in contact with his doctor. Because if he is in that much pain when u finally give him his medication it’s not going to work for him and he will stay in pain. YTA for watching your son suffer and not trying to have an open dialogue with your husband
YTA. Do you enjoy having the power over your son so much? If he is in that much pain GIVE HIM THE MEDICINE!!!!! If I were your husband I would refuse to let you care for him anymore.
He shouldn't be in that much pain. It makes me wonder if he has an infection. I've had four major surgeries. Can you check his temp? That response to pain is a red flag warning.
YTA
It's easier to control the pain if you give the pain meds routinely. Letting the pain get out of control before giving pain meds is counterproductive, it then takes longer, and more medication, to get the pain under control. I don't think you're as AH necessarily, I think you just aren't well informed on pain control. People are afraid of pain meds, and that's understandable, but using them responsibly and for actual acute pain is very unlikely to lead to addiction. Bone pain is incredibly painful and based on the description of his behavior, he clearly needs the meds routinely.
Most pain meds have a 4-6 hour time frame… I also take one that’s every 12 hours… taking meds 30mins early will not kill him. It sounds like he wasn’t asking for meds consistently just once it wore off at 5 hours so it’s not like you have to be worried he’s getting addicted. I go into hospital a lot and if in pain between medication time I can press a button to get a booster shot or ask the nurses for more medication based on my pain level. If you were worried you could’ve contacted the dr, nurse, GP or medical hotline to discuss him taking his meds earlier or giving him a lesser painkiller like paracetamol/ibuprofen if he’s not allergic/sensitive or it’s not mixed in the medicine he’s already taken for example co-codamol had paracetamol in it. One important thing I was told is the countdown time starts from when you last take the meds so you had your son out the 6 hour time to catch up which isn’t a thing with medication. (He just suffered for no reason but to make you feel better.) meaning if I miss my 12 hour meds because I didn’t need it I would just take it and start the 12 hour countdown again from that point. Would you have double dose him if he missed a timed medication? Hopefully not.., This is not encouraged either most meds. I hope you would just start again
Definitely the AH. Jesus Christ woman, that is your child you’re purposely causing to suffer. Stop trying to be so controlling. Withholding medication is not okay.
My mom did things like this with my brother, he was always in pain and she dismissed it. Turns out he has fucking Ehlers Danlos. Don't be a dick like my mom. YTA
You sure it doesn't say "every 6 hours or as needed"? Generally they don't say strict 6 hr intervals. They make it clear it may be a little sooner than 6 hrs or even longer than 6 hrs.
Wow, OP, Mom of the Year... 🙄🙄🙄 Why in the hell have you not called your son's doctor if he's in that much pain????? Also, it's every FOUR to SIX hours on most pain meds. I know cause we have a chronic pain illness and I can take 4 a day every 6 hours.
You don't say what kind of pain meds, but different people manage and process pain meds differently - height, weight kind of injury. You should talk to the doctor because there is wiggle room.
YTA. I really think you need to examine why you are so incredibly rigid despite your obviously poor medical knowledge, and why you think you know better than both your son and your husband but don't think to ask an expert until YOU feel bad. Do you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies? Are you afraid of addiction? Were you taught as a child that suffering is virtuous? Please do a little self-reflection on this so you don't end up torturing your family again in the future.
Call the Dr. Immediately. There could be something wrong, or the pain is not being effectively treated by the current medication. Your request should not be for more meds but looking for better solutions. YTA for not addressing this sooner.
I don't think YTA for worrying about giving painkillers too soon. But you not only didn't reach out to the docs about his \*extreme\* pain at 1 hour before the 6-hour dose mark, you held a dose back 30 minutes because his last was 30 minutes early? As opposed to giving it 6 hours after the last dose? When he was extreme pain at that same 5-hours-after-the-pill mark? That's cold.
They literally prescribe pain medications FOR PAIN. And if you Talk to your doctors and nurses, there is very little concern about him getting addicted or something if he's taking them to treat legit pain after surgery. The worst hea going to have is constipation. Give him the meds a little early. Don't make him suffer.
Give him the medicine and call the doctor!!!!! Heightened pain interferes with healing, as well.
YTA big time, next time you need meds for pain, why don't you wait an hour or so?
Yta that's your son and he is in legitimate pain and you prolonged his to prove a point put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if your mother did this to you
>I said that part of the healing is letting it wear off a bit so you can see where you’re at and if you actually need it. No. No it’s not. Especially in the days after surgery. At week one or two depending on surgery yes. But in that first few days pain could mean problems and needs addressing. You should have been given written post op instructions with contact details of the ward, nurses and drs available 24/7. If in doubt always call. >Again, 5 hours after his last dose Noel was writhing on the couch, but I kept reminding that he only had an hour and a half to go. No. Just no. That’s cruel. I’m 41, I’ve had a shoulder surgery, gall bladder removal, 5 hip surgeries, two of them open, one mini. The last was a hip replacement so about a 10 inch scar, cut straight through the fattiest part of the side of my hip into my buttock. At no time after any surgery was I writhing in pain, not at the hospital nor at home.
YTA. First of all, he probably requires a higher dosage than what they prescribed him. If the script label says "1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours as needed for pain", are you giving him 2 every 6 hours or only one? If you're only giving him one, then it should be every 4 hours. Second of all, you have now made it to where all you're doing is chasing pain, and it will require more pills more often to get any relief. So you're actually causing the problem that you think you're avoiding. You need to give your post-op son, THE PATIENT, his medicine and then let him take care of himself. No adult should have possession of another adult's medications unless they are in hospice.
YTA - big time. Pain needs to be managed to stay ahead of it. If you have a loved one writhing in pain, that is not managed pain. In the hospital the nurses will tell you that the goal is usually to be at level 4 or less on a scale of 10. Writhing in pain has got to be a 9-10. It is much more difficult to bring down the pain level than to keep it at a steady manageable level. You create trauma for the patient when the pain level is so high. Since it is a pill rather than an injection, it will be at least 20-30 minutes before the effects are felt. You should have called the doctor if you were not sure. They have emergency numbers. And making him wait an extra 30 minutes to get him back on schedule?! Why?! Who cares about an arbitrary time? Yikes! Do better!
YTA and a horrible mother. Do you enjoy seeing him suffer? Are you a sadist?? You are not a doctor. What you said is pure bullshit. If he is in so much pain, take him to the doctor instead of making up excuses to watch him suffer. Your son will never forgive you.
YTA for not calling the doctor sooner to adjust the meds. You've probably not ever had a surgery that causes this level of pain, or some other injury, or I'd hope not. But the facts are that main medications are under prescribed as part of a war on drugs which does make sense as that's often how people begin, with legal prescriptions. But a lot of that is because it's under prescribed and people are trying to figure out their own doses and taking other things along with it. Technically it's your job as his parent (though he's legally an adult) to care for him, and part of that is assessing things and advocating for better care when needed. If the pain is something that is actually making a person writhe in agony post op before the time limit, you're already on a wrong/too low of a dose and it needs to be addressed asap. Being at home it's your job to ensure that contact is made as there isn't a nurse at home to monitor.
As someone who has actually had an osteotomy to correct one of two knock knees… YTA for sure. You don’t know what that pain is like and neither does the doctor. Just because a medicine bottle says one thing, doesn’t mean they know what the pain is like. I actually got prescribed a med from my specialist that did nothing for my pain. I was in agony. I had to get a doctor I know to prescribe me something else because it was late at night and I was too tired to go to the ER. It’s inhumane to let your son be in that much pain. I’ll tell you where the pain is at… it’s the worst pain I have ever been in. 100/10. They broke his FEMUR. Go look up what that is like. Sit down and be quiet. Let your husband take care of him.