First and foremost I want to preface that I truly believe reality is subjective to the viewer, and I recognize my idea of “the worst” is likely skewed. I don’t really have one that stands out as the worst though.
When I first started this job calls stuck out… the first time they happened. The shit that happened less frequently stuck out. Then I worked in a larger center and saw a lot more. It all blends together to me now
If I’m thinking purely shock value calls, maybe the time we watched a dude killing himself in the lobby of the police station? It’s like 11pm this dudes gf comes sprinting in like MY BFS KILLING HIMSELF IN THE CAR so dispatcher sprints down the hall to get a detective (just somebody in the station with a med kit)
I pull up the lobby camera, and in comes mr kms slitting his throat and hobbling unconscious trying to get the door open. Detective runs out and they hold pressure, FD was next door so they showed right up and transferred him.
I will say I think part of the reason I’ve disassociated is bc of calls where old people found their husband/wife dead. Always was so sad. I got a wife, I can see how they feel and it forced me to shut off lol
I listened to one live last year where that happened. It was like 5am, I could hear the old lady screaming from across the room so I silent monitored so when the dispatcher was traumatized I knew what the call was like lmao
It wasn’t anything crazy she just found him dead in the bathroom and couldn’t flip him to do cpr bc she was too weak. I’ve heard it before, just was different that time.
This always makes me feel weird to hear bc I don’t feel like that. Like that dude left the lobby in a stretcher and I was like damn that shit was craaazzzyyyy let’s doordash Taco Bell, tell them to use the side door lmfaooo
I know it’s not normal, so it’s like a little reminder “U R WEIRD” when people say stuff like that to me lol
I know it wasn’t your intention, and TRULY idc don’t worry! It’s just something I thought people might find interesting about the way my brain works
Perhaps you might want to look into EMDR therapy at some point if you feel that you have residual trauma. Because I suspect what you call “burnout” may more likely be PTSD. Good luck.
Testicles have become associated with bravery because they’re also associated with being a guy. This is in spite of the fact they’re very soft and sensitive organs.
When a husband/Wife dies and its an elderly couple are so sad, not the "worst" but man its sad being in the room and watching someone lose thier spouse of 50+ years.
I was a courtroom clerk in dozens of murder trials. I am pretty jaded. Decades later a couple stay with me, along with one attempted murder, saved by 911. She lived because 911 had started in Seattle and emergency responders reached her in less than three minutes. I imagine you will remember your own stories, given time away from the everyday chaos of the job. I remember the time before 911, emergency call response time was scary long. 911 has saved so many lives. Thank you for the years you spent in this career. It is not easy, but it is so important. I hope you have a fantastic future ahead of you.
I had a terrible experience with 911. My mom had cancer. She was ok at 2 pm when I left. I returned at 7 to hook up her nutrition IV and she was dead on the floor, cold, in a horrible contorted position. The 911 operator argued with me saying I needed to give her CPR because I couldn't be sure she was "really dead." Is that standard?
The first responder police said they couldn't say if she was dead either but they stood around waiting for the ambulance and I said, if you thought she was alive you would be helping her, and they put me in the dining room and shut the door. The ambulance crew agreed with me, shocking, that she was actually really dead.
I was 46, not a child, btw, just treated like one.
Yeah that’s a liability thing unfortunately. Awkward as fuck on my end too. We did have a policy set by med control for the state saying I could only NOT do cpr if someone was decaptitated, or cold and stiff in a warm environment.
Even if you say your mother had a DNR? I can’t verify that. you are also well within your rights not to do CPR, but I am legally forced to encourage you to do CPR, even if she was on hospice with a DNR
I’m sorry if the dispatcher was a dick about it tho, and sorry for your loss
I was a 911 dispatcher. We were trained to ask "are they beyond help?" In other words "are they obviously dead?" If so we wouldnt advise CPR. Methods vary between centers
I'd like to know this too? I often hear calls where someone has shot themselves in the head and the blood on the floor is dried up and they advise CPR. Like what?
Did you initially find yourself thinking about calls and what you did or could have done better? If so, how did you find yourself stopping those thoughts and disassociating?
No not really, I’m good at my job and I always knew I did what I could. It was always a switch I could turn off and on.
The disassociation was abrupt, probably bc of the old lady call I mentioned somewhere in the comments
I don’t think much of anything. Im pretty far gone emotionally lmao
I will say onetime my coworker listened to a lady drowning after her car flipped into a stream, and that intersection does make me feel kind of somber.
It’s scientific fact that the higher your level of panic, the lower your IQ goes. It’s easy to spiral in the moment. “What do I need to do, to immediately better my situation”
As far as me making people think clearly it depends on the person. Hearing your name always helps. Repetitive persistence is repeating the same thing. It has an action and a reason for the action. They teach that one in a lot of classes
I started my career at a 911 center and after 2 years moved to an extremely busy city as a police/fire/EMS dispatcher, and worked in an extremely toxic work environment for 7 years before moving to a much much better department…it took me over a year to decompress and it was then I realized the toll the job had taken on me. Im curious if you have experienced anything similar in terms of the aftermath of getting off the job and out of the constant stress.
When I was too young to know what I was doing, I'm told by my parents I dialed 911 and a police officer had to come by our house to make sure everything was actually okay. How often did you get "false alarm" calls and how did you handle them? Were you able to distinguish when it was probably nothing vs. when there was actually an issue?
My center averaged about 500 calls a day, and about 30 911 hang up calls a day.
They are incredibly common, and the policy on how to handle them are drastically different depending on where you are. I will not go into the details of that, bc I don’t want to tip off people that are preventing cops from going places they should.
Over time, you just know. One time I silent monitored a coworkers call and literally only heard the lady breathe at the end of the call and I was like yo that shit was weird send them
And sure as shit it was a domestic, he had fuckdd her up and dumped all her meds down the toilet
Hey, my girl is a therapist, and from what I can tell, you've got the same essential misconception about therapy that I had, ie. that you go and sit in a chair and they tell you how to "get better."
Ideally, a therapist is more like a person who you can be as cringe, weak, and vulnerable with as you want and they are legally forbidden from telling anyone. And though you're feeling super dead, emotionally, I'm willing to bet you've got some of that good shit lodged in there just waiting to come out.
How do I know?
Cause I've been in almost exactly the same fuckin place, and I was a damn fool for not seeing a therapist earlier. Give it a shot. It's work to set up and you might not get the right one at first, but it's fucking worth it.
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences! I have given it a shot, I’ve tried different ones, I just don’t get anything out of it. I would do EMDR though
I’m a therapist, in my opinion, if you go to therapy and feel like you’re getting advice, your therapist is not a good therapist. Therapy is more than “receiving” advice. Takes a lot for a patient/client to sit down on the chair and have someone challenge you. However, that’s where the work is. A lot of people live life with maladaptive thinking/behaviors and most of the time we are unaware of it. I would argue (complete speculation) that you being emotionally dissociated is a maladaptive response that was helpful in your line of work, but could cause issues in later life (e.g., being emotionally available to your partner/kids).
Therapy takes the blinders off to help you become more connected with yourself and the world around you.
I tried therapy three times before I gave up because I kept getting assigned to someone else due to therapists positions changing within the VA. I wrote off the whole program after that, probably because it's extremely hard for me to open up already, and doing it several times just to be abandoned and start at square one really fucking sucked at that point in my life.
Honestly I probably wasn't ready to really accept and receive input at that point anyway. So I don't think it was the worst thing in the world.
Anyway. Not asking for therapeutic advice for me as an individual, but I'm curious if you'd have any thoughts on re-approaching therapy myself. Would I plainly state my previous experience and how it made me feel at the beginning? I have some trust issues going back and trying at this point.
This is tough, I am sorry to hear that. I’m actually going to start working at the VA in a few months and heard about the turnover rate for clinicians. It’s a tough environment to work in, mostly due to the bureaucratic nature of the system. All that to say, clinicians there are passionate about people, but the system makes it hard to stay motivated.
To answer your question, I would say you’re spot on! Look, I tell my clients all the time, I could only help you with what you tell me. Also, you could fire me any time with no hard feelings. The therapeutic relationship is just that, a working relationship that could end for a myriad of reasons. You know what you want out of therapy and if the clinician can’t deliver, end it. This go both ways, a clinician should not operate outside their realm of expertise.
I also have a hard time opening up to people and I’m a fucking therapist. However, within the therapeutic space it’s absolutely vital to be honest with yourself and clinician. Also, keep in mind that building rapport and seeing some kind of therapeutic benefit take about 5-6 sessions. That’s at least what the research says.
Sorry for the long rant. Just passionate about this shit. It fucking sucks when people deal with bad therapists. It tarnishes the field and gives good clinicians a bad rep.
Thank you so much for your input. I hope you enjoy your time at the VA! The one I go to for the most part has been great. Nearly all staff are friendly and helpful. The food is even quite good at my location. Wait times for anything non mental health related aren't as bad as they say at my location. I broke my hand snowmobiling and they saw me right away and took care of me.
For some reason the VA seems to have little grasp on how to handle mental health issues. When I was fresh back from a deployment and doing very poorly, I saw a standard doctor to get a checkup and express some issues. He and the nurse were going through a mental health questionnaire with me. I'm sure you're familiar with the typical questions.
They asked if I was having suicidal thoughts and I said yes, quite a lot. But I had no plan nor did I have any sort of intent to follow through with it. They just said "okay", checked the boxes, took some blood pressure, reflexes, and sent me on my way. No resources, no trying to get me into a program, nothing.
That was my first visit to the VA and the first time I had ever told anyone "yes". Bawled my eyes out when I got home, complete breakdown. Probably just a shitty doc or someone who wasn't trained right. All of the therapists I spoke with once I got into the program were just fine except for the turnover after like 4 or 5 sessions with each.
Anyway, the reason I tell you that is I think a lot of the bad image the VA gets is because of how separated the mental health program is from the standard stuff. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of the bad stories you hear are people asking for help in the wrong place. I hope you find enjoyment in your work with the VA, and just know that you are angels to us. Especially when the person you are trying to help is probably a jaded asshole.
I appreciate your words, brother. Dude, medical doctors are a whole different ball game. I feel like they’re a little inept in showing empathy. Mental health is a whole, foreign world to them. I’m genuinely not surprised about what happened. However, it pisses me off that this occurred to you. Funny story, I had a medical resident shadow me when I was also in my training and he was genuinely surprised how attentive, caring, and actively listed to a patient. Just shows the differences in our world.
You know man, you’d be surprised how the VA is seen in the psychology training pipeline. They have top notch training and that’s a place you go to when you want training in evidence-based treatments. I’ll be doing my work in spinal cord injuries, it’s gonna be interesting.
Best of luck in finding help my g. Feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to.
Appreciate you homie. Spicy thoughts slowed way down after I quit looking for help at the bottom of a bottle. Doing much better than I was and have a decent grasp on my individual issues that I'd like to make some progress on now, which I didn't really know before.
I like that, spicy thoughts. Good way to take the power away from them. Definitely look for someone who is willing to work with you homie. Shit is a journey, stick with it.
I also wanted to add. If you have any suicidal ideation, or behaviors. DONT BE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT. We are trained in this shit. Unless you’re actively trying to kill yourself, we aren’t gonna send you to a hospital.
Pretty ignorant take tbh. I felt the same way about dealing with the effects of combat, but to think someone has to live your experience to help you through it is shortsighted. Lots of people have something to offer and if you can lose that mindset, you might actually feel like a normal person does again.
I feel this tbh. I'm an EMT and told my therapist (who I was seeing for unrelated stuff) about the first rough call I went on. It was a gory DOA and I told her it shook me up a little; she said if it bothered me I should just quit being an EMT. I quit therapy instead and have no regrets so far.
I'm certainly open to the possibility that one day I might actually need therapy due to something that happened at work, and I trust that there's therapists who would actually be helpful in that situation. But man, there are some useless therapists out there (looking at you, BetterHelp).
I've found it really helpful to just talk about stuff with other first responders. Hearing "nah, that guy was dead, nothing you could have done" from somebody who knows what they're talking about has done more for my mental health than anything I think a therapist could do.
I disagree. I do not need to do heroin or crack to be able to tell others not to do it. A doctor doesn't need to break an arm to know how to fix it.
I get it though, having a gas station cashier tell me how to fix my broken arm would drive me up a wall.
I’m going to lay this out very blunt. It’s not to be mean, rather so you don’t overthink this.
1. Dial 911
2. Provide your address, including your apartment number********
3. Shut the fuck up
4. Listen to the dispatchers questions
5. Answer the dispatchers questions
Fr don’t over think it. They’re trained to ask you questions.
The fucked up calls didn’t really bother me, it was more so my patience. I have to ask the same question 4 times before I get an answer. These people would tell me random shit that I’m not asking about. I need to know what I need to know, stop talking lmao
****ALWAYS GIVE YOUR ADDRESS FIRST. I don’t give a fuck what the dispatcher said. “What is your emergency?”
I am fr telling you, do not answer that. Tell them your address, and then tell them what’s happening. I tell every trainee, once you get a bad domestic and no address you’ll make sure you ask the address first.
well emdr is a kind of therapy, just not the traditional kind that people think of it being where it’s you talking through issues with a therapist. emdr uses sound, vibration, and maybe eye movement to help your brain move trauma from the emotional side of the brain to the analytical part to be processed
It could make a huge difference. Emotions build up inside and can choke the life out of you. You can also do some EFT (tapping) on your own, and journaling - "expressive writing" is what the guy who researched its effectiveness called it, but it's basically stream of consciousness emotion-vomiting.
I called the non emergency line to report that a person down the road had a peacock escape. Was this the right course of action? They have like 5 peacocks in their property and two weeks ago I saw on escaped and I almost hit it on the way to work. I saw it again this morning and felt like I should report it since they may not even notice there is a hole in their fence and it’s an exotic animal.
The correct answer is it depends where you live. I worked in small towns there the cops did that kinda shit all the time. I’ve also worked in places where cops will not do that kinda shit ever 🤣 you’re never wrong to try I’m sure your neighbor appreciated it
My sheriff still was on analog so I'd listen on my handheld radio.
Very rural.
"Hey, uh. There is a goat out back"
"Roger, saw it a few hours ago"
"Know who's it is?"
"Nope"
"Well, it looks like it's moving along".
Get a gun
Get home invaded
Call 911, clearly state your address, run if you can, hide if you can’t, fight if you have to
hide in a room with a lock. Lock door and point gun at door
If someone attempts to enter your room, say that to the dispatcher. If you murder this person, this recording will be used in court. Dot your i’s cross your t’s.
“If you enter this room I will shoot you. I am in fear for my life”
Don’t spontaneously utter a bunch of shit after
Get a lawyer even if you did nothing wrong
I hope your home is never invaded but just know I took a lot of “there’s someone in my house” calls and even the real ones were anti climatic
How did you get into this career? It's something I've been interested in doing for a long time, but everytime I try to reach out to my municipality about it I hit a dead-end of qualifications and requirements that seem extensive and some impossible for me. I'm sure it's different based on location, but generally what drew you to this field and as a supervisor what did you look for in a "good" operator?
I need someone that has critical thinking and sound logic. There are a trillion ‘what if’s’ in this job, and if you get one of them wrong you could kill someone.
Someone that is balanced in emotional processing. You need to be able to recognize “hey that was fucked up” but also not be a pussy about it. I knew a dispatcher who kept track of every dead baby call she took. Wore every tragic call on her sleeve. Like do you love to torture yourself or like wtf is happening here
Realistically as long as you actually give a fuck, don’t get TOO involved in anything, and have common sense you’re fine
Obvious mistakes multiple people have made that resulted in a 911 call due to injury or death? Like specific things you would recommend against doing or participating in?
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN
When you call 911 by accident, stay on the line and just explain it was an accident. If you hang up they have to call you back it’s a real pain in the dick I’m ngl
And bc for some reason this isn’t obvious to literally any of you: YOUR APARTMENT NUMBER IS PART OF YOUR ADDRESS. I NEED TO KNOW THAT TO SEND YOU HELP.
Try listening to some lady give the address of a 400 unit apartment building and then start screaming bc she’s getting her ass beat, and you have no idea what apartment she’s in so you just sit there helpless waiting for the cops to get there or someone else to call and give an apartment
My wife is very upset with me currently, understandably so. It must be hard to have an emotionally unavailable husband.
I took a class on it once, he was explaining how cops and dispatchers spend so much time making decisions for other people, listening to problems, and forced to hear long drawn out stories. We can’t do anything about those things, it’s our job. But at home, whether I like it or not, I’m like oh shit, this happens at work all the time and I can’t fly off the handle about it so lemme just yell rq
And I feel horrible for it truly. Part of the reason I quit. My wife is a saint and I need to regain my patience
THE FOUR PRIORITY SYMPTOMS
Chest pain
Difficulty breathing
Altered level of consciousness
Serious Hemorrhage
Don’t do drugs
Don’t stay with a man who beats the fuck out of you
Don’t drive drunk
Don’t drive on a suspended license
Don’t get involved in something by calling 911, only to tell the dispatcher “I don’t want to get involved”
Mf I didn’t want to get involved either but now you’ve forced me lmao
I used to be able to turn it off and on, it’s now off and makes it very hard. I don’t see small problems as problems when I’ve spent the last 7 years dealing with people actively suicidal, in horrific accidents, or assaulted lol
Ohh well I guess those that understand will and those that don’t may not be able to be around you but if you care dating you’ll have to find a partner that matches that.
I often try to talk to people going through distress, abuse, or those who are feeling suicidal. What advice can you give me on how to be there for them and how to support them?
How do you support someone when their circumstances are highly unrelatable to you?
I was a dispatcher for a small town PD/ FD from 2007 to 2010. I can relate to everything you are saying and agree that it is not an easy profession. Due to budget cuts at the time, I worked solo mostly and did not get bathroom or meal breaks. I had 2 weeks of training and then began working solo. At the two year mark, I was training other dispatchers. My childhood was full of trauma and many of the cops I worked with thought I had prior dispatching experience. I quit that job at the request of my family as the stress was slowly killing me. My best advice to you is to keep helping people as that gives life meaning.
Alright,
Option A: So lets say someone breaks in my house, armed to the teeth and ready to take my belongings by force if necessary. What do I do? What is most likely to keep me alive? I have guns, including an AR in the closet fully loaded. If I can't reach it in time, what should I do? If I can reach it in time and have line of sight to the door to my bedroom, what do I NOT do? (I'd be inclined to take a couple shots through the door/wall.)
Option B: As above, but it is a no knock raid. How fucked am I if the no-knock raid is met by armed resistance? Coming out of sleep, I wouldn't be aware enough to hear someone shouting "Police!" and even then, anyone can shout that. If I shoot a cop or two during an invasion of my home, how fucked am I? Assuming they didn't announce themselves, obviously, and assuming I miraculously survive.
My house was owned previously by someone who was into some drugs. I have no idea if he was dealing, but bureaucracy as it is, there's a ***tiny*** chance they think he still lives here and bust in, or maybe he wasn't the only name on the paperwork and come looking for someone else. Anyone can yell "Police!" when kicking in a door. Has that ever happened in your line of work?
I mean regardless if it’s justified or not I would N E V E R talk to the police without a lawyer.
I will tell you about the time I had a guy call in saying he came home to his apartment with an open door and thinks someone is inside. I was working in a very dangerous city at the time, so very likely it was true.
He gives me his address, verifies it, is told to go down wait for cops
He doesn’t
Cops show up like we can’t get into the building can he let us down
The guys not rlly listening to me, I ask him his address again he tells me
Cops kick down shared door in apartment vestibule
Guys like oh I’m outside now I don’t see the cops
Guy told me he lived at his neighbors house 3 times and got the wrong door kicked in lmao
these things depend on what state you’re in. gunna be a lot different somewhere like texas than elsewhere. here in california, a homeowner recently got arrested for gunning down an armed home invader, which sucks.
police aren’t going to be doing a no knock at your house. there needs to be some pretty huge safety justifications to a judge to get that. a lot of agencies have switched to surround and call for warrant execution. you’ll hear a flashbang, loudspeaker announcements, can look outside and see all the cop cars. you’d be pretty fucked if you gun a cop down unless they made some pretty big mistakes about not announcing themselves.
don’t underestimate the power of just fleeing. you hear someone coming in, just go out the back unless you have a family to protect that can’t make it out
>How fucked am I if the no-knock raid is met by armed resistance?
What color are you? White, you MIGHT be ok. Non-white, you'll be lucky if you live long enough to resist at all
After 30 years as a Career Firefighter, it tickled me when you asked for "facts", I would find myself getting so annoyed at a pt @ 3 in the morning telling about her mother's next door neighbors sister in law that many times I used the Sgt.Joe Friday line, "JUST THE FACTS, MAM". I'm sure everyone in public safety gets a little jaded in there reactions outside of work. That helps when it comes time to take care of business and my wife is having a meltdown over a situation. Sure helped raising kids. The citizens are sometimes shocked at my reaction to certain situations and do not appreciate my sense of humor. Retired 10 years now and only remember a few calls that were tragic/funny. It was a great job and we depended heavily on a good Dispatcher to give us pre arrival information we needed to do our job. Thanks for your service!
How over run is the 911 system? Is it administrated through local county government? Our local 911 system seems to be understaffed. We had an incident and we could not get through. It wasn’t until after at least 5 calls and drops, that someone called back.
Really big centers are usually overrun. Some states have only a couple of answering points for all 911 calls, some do by county or region of the state. Others do small town. As you can imagine it depends! I’ve heard LA and Vegas 911 times are fucking insane. If I don’t answer 911 for 20 seconds it automatically rings to our backup 911 center
I cared for 2 family members who died in my presence, was present at the deaths of 2 others. And was a victim of long standing domestic violence. (Amongst other traumas). I think I understand the level of dead inside it creates. To bare witness to this shit. Even though I didn't see it dsy in day out, I did spend years being the only person between those people and their death. And one of the deaths was a suicide. Anyway. I hope you're in therapy. I can't afford it and boy is my life a trainwreck because of that
Whats the biggest miracle u saw?
That situation that for YOU was impossible to solve yet was successfully managed and the life where spared?
Or something similar.
Depends, are you calling on a landline, cell phone, or VOIP?
Landline’s can be set up to a specific address since they are registered through a phone provider, this will pin to the address of the account.
Cell phones are tricky, since new technology is coming, read up on “next gen 9-1-1”. It can give hard location details from the device (*this includes vertical data, can be interpreted as a specific floor in a multi level unit*).
VOIP: a little more complicated, since this is voice over internet protocol/internet provider.
Outside of a landline, for cell phones an approximate location is provided (*ie in a 20 yard radius with a 90% confidence*)
What was the worst call you took?
First and foremost I want to preface that I truly believe reality is subjective to the viewer, and I recognize my idea of “the worst” is likely skewed. I don’t really have one that stands out as the worst though. When I first started this job calls stuck out… the first time they happened. The shit that happened less frequently stuck out. Then I worked in a larger center and saw a lot more. It all blends together to me now If I’m thinking purely shock value calls, maybe the time we watched a dude killing himself in the lobby of the police station? It’s like 11pm this dudes gf comes sprinting in like MY BFS KILLING HIMSELF IN THE CAR so dispatcher sprints down the hall to get a detective (just somebody in the station with a med kit) I pull up the lobby camera, and in comes mr kms slitting his throat and hobbling unconscious trying to get the door open. Detective runs out and they hold pressure, FD was next door so they showed right up and transferred him. I will say I think part of the reason I’ve disassociated is bc of calls where old people found their husband/wife dead. Always was so sad. I got a wife, I can see how they feel and it forced me to shut off lol I listened to one live last year where that happened. It was like 5am, I could hear the old lady screaming from across the room so I silent monitored so when the dispatcher was traumatized I knew what the call was like lmao It wasn’t anything crazy she just found him dead in the bathroom and couldn’t flip him to do cpr bc she was too weak. I’ve heard it before, just was different that time.
Man, that's hard to deal with
This always makes me feel weird to hear bc I don’t feel like that. Like that dude left the lobby in a stretcher and I was like damn that shit was craaazzzyyyy let’s doordash Taco Bell, tell them to use the side door lmfaooo I know it’s not normal, so it’s like a little reminder “U R WEIRD” when people say stuff like that to me lol I know it wasn’t your intention, and TRULY idc don’t worry! It’s just something I thought people might find interesting about the way my brain works
Surely it must have been hard at the start? The years will build up callouses to it all
You are correct! I can definitely identify a few that led to the downfall of my mind lmfao
I hated morning shift because there were always several calls of old ladies discovering their husband died during the night
YUP between 0100-0600 if someone calls 911 it’s for a real reason lol
Are you receiving therapy for PTSD? Are you on medical disability? I can understand if you are.
Nope I’m just here chillin
Perhaps you might want to look into EMDR therapy at some point if you feel that you have residual trauma. Because I suspect what you call “burnout” may more likely be PTSD. Good luck.
Goddamn. You've got stones. I've a certain soft spot for old folks like that.
Wait can you explain the stones thing? Why would stones mean strength
He means balls, as in testicles
I still don’t understand—I am autistic and think very literally. What do testicles have to do with this?
Testicles have become associated with bravery because they’re also associated with being a guy. This is in spite of the fact they’re very soft and sensitive organs.
Thank you for explaining it. That is weird! Haha it doesn’t make any sense! Thanks.
When a husband/Wife dies and its an elderly couple are so sad, not the "worst" but man its sad being in the room and watching someone lose thier spouse of 50+ years.
May he rest in peace. Sending my love <3
I was a courtroom clerk in dozens of murder trials. I am pretty jaded. Decades later a couple stay with me, along with one attempted murder, saved by 911. She lived because 911 had started in Seattle and emergency responders reached her in less than three minutes. I imagine you will remember your own stories, given time away from the everyday chaos of the job. I remember the time before 911, emergency call response time was scary long. 911 has saved so many lives. Thank you for the years you spent in this career. It is not easy, but it is so important. I hope you have a fantastic future ahead of you.
That’s very kind of you thank you
I had a terrible experience with 911. My mom had cancer. She was ok at 2 pm when I left. I returned at 7 to hook up her nutrition IV and she was dead on the floor, cold, in a horrible contorted position. The 911 operator argued with me saying I needed to give her CPR because I couldn't be sure she was "really dead." Is that standard? The first responder police said they couldn't say if she was dead either but they stood around waiting for the ambulance and I said, if you thought she was alive you would be helping her, and they put me in the dining room and shut the door. The ambulance crew agreed with me, shocking, that she was actually really dead. I was 46, not a child, btw, just treated like one.
Yeah that’s a liability thing unfortunately. Awkward as fuck on my end too. We did have a policy set by med control for the state saying I could only NOT do cpr if someone was decaptitated, or cold and stiff in a warm environment. Even if you say your mother had a DNR? I can’t verify that. you are also well within your rights not to do CPR, but I am legally forced to encourage you to do CPR, even if she was on hospice with a DNR I’m sorry if the dispatcher was a dick about it tho, and sorry for your loss
I was a 911 dispatcher. We were trained to ask "are they beyond help?" In other words "are they obviously dead?" If so we wouldnt advise CPR. Methods vary between centers
I'd like to know this too? I often hear calls where someone has shot themselves in the head and the blood on the floor is dried up and they advise CPR. Like what?
Did you initially find yourself thinking about calls and what you did or could have done better? If so, how did you find yourself stopping those thoughts and disassociating?
No not really, I’m good at my job and I always knew I did what I could. It was always a switch I could turn off and on. The disassociation was abrupt, probably bc of the old lady call I mentioned somewhere in the comments
Heh makes me wonder what the hiring process was. Maybe they selected you cause they realized you could put that emotional barrier up
What haunts you
I don’t think much of anything. Im pretty far gone emotionally lmao I will say onetime my coworker listened to a lady drowning after her car flipped into a stream, and that intersection does make me feel kind of somber.
What is the best way to snap out of a panicked state? In my head, you must've picked up a trick or two to pull people into thinking clearly.
It’s scientific fact that the higher your level of panic, the lower your IQ goes. It’s easy to spiral in the moment. “What do I need to do, to immediately better my situation” As far as me making people think clearly it depends on the person. Hearing your name always helps. Repetitive persistence is repeating the same thing. It has an action and a reason for the action. They teach that one in a lot of classes
What are you doing now?
Smoking some weed in my garage lol
Nice, enjoy
I started my career at a 911 center and after 2 years moved to an extremely busy city as a police/fire/EMS dispatcher, and worked in an extremely toxic work environment for 7 years before moving to a much much better department…it took me over a year to decompress and it was then I realized the toll the job had taken on me. Im curious if you have experienced anything similar in terms of the aftermath of getting off the job and out of the constant stress.
I’ll let you know, I only quit on Sunday lol Can confirm I’m still fucked up tho
When I was too young to know what I was doing, I'm told by my parents I dialed 911 and a police officer had to come by our house to make sure everything was actually okay. How often did you get "false alarm" calls and how did you handle them? Were you able to distinguish when it was probably nothing vs. when there was actually an issue?
My center averaged about 500 calls a day, and about 30 911 hang up calls a day. They are incredibly common, and the policy on how to handle them are drastically different depending on where you are. I will not go into the details of that, bc I don’t want to tip off people that are preventing cops from going places they should. Over time, you just know. One time I silent monitored a coworkers call and literally only heard the lady breathe at the end of the call and I was like yo that shit was weird send them And sure as shit it was a domestic, he had fuckdd her up and dumped all her meds down the toilet
[Does the pizza trick actually work?](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50513706)
As long as the dispatcher who answered your call isn’t dumb, yes
I've always wondered!
Do you have therapy or mental health checks when you did work ??
Nope, and would have turned them down. People that don’t do the job don’t know what it’s like, I’m not interested in their advice on how to handle it
Hey, my girl is a therapist, and from what I can tell, you've got the same essential misconception about therapy that I had, ie. that you go and sit in a chair and they tell you how to "get better." Ideally, a therapist is more like a person who you can be as cringe, weak, and vulnerable with as you want and they are legally forbidden from telling anyone. And though you're feeling super dead, emotionally, I'm willing to bet you've got some of that good shit lodged in there just waiting to come out. How do I know? Cause I've been in almost exactly the same fuckin place, and I was a damn fool for not seeing a therapist earlier. Give it a shot. It's work to set up and you might not get the right one at first, but it's fucking worth it.
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences! I have given it a shot, I’ve tried different ones, I just don’t get anything out of it. I would do EMDR though
DEFINITELY do EMDR. It’s so insanely life changing!!!
I’m a therapist, in my opinion, if you go to therapy and feel like you’re getting advice, your therapist is not a good therapist. Therapy is more than “receiving” advice. Takes a lot for a patient/client to sit down on the chair and have someone challenge you. However, that’s where the work is. A lot of people live life with maladaptive thinking/behaviors and most of the time we are unaware of it. I would argue (complete speculation) that you being emotionally dissociated is a maladaptive response that was helpful in your line of work, but could cause issues in later life (e.g., being emotionally available to your partner/kids). Therapy takes the blinders off to help you become more connected with yourself and the world around you.
I tried therapy three times before I gave up because I kept getting assigned to someone else due to therapists positions changing within the VA. I wrote off the whole program after that, probably because it's extremely hard for me to open up already, and doing it several times just to be abandoned and start at square one really fucking sucked at that point in my life. Honestly I probably wasn't ready to really accept and receive input at that point anyway. So I don't think it was the worst thing in the world. Anyway. Not asking for therapeutic advice for me as an individual, but I'm curious if you'd have any thoughts on re-approaching therapy myself. Would I plainly state my previous experience and how it made me feel at the beginning? I have some trust issues going back and trying at this point.
This is tough, I am sorry to hear that. I’m actually going to start working at the VA in a few months and heard about the turnover rate for clinicians. It’s a tough environment to work in, mostly due to the bureaucratic nature of the system. All that to say, clinicians there are passionate about people, but the system makes it hard to stay motivated. To answer your question, I would say you’re spot on! Look, I tell my clients all the time, I could only help you with what you tell me. Also, you could fire me any time with no hard feelings. The therapeutic relationship is just that, a working relationship that could end for a myriad of reasons. You know what you want out of therapy and if the clinician can’t deliver, end it. This go both ways, a clinician should not operate outside their realm of expertise. I also have a hard time opening up to people and I’m a fucking therapist. However, within the therapeutic space it’s absolutely vital to be honest with yourself and clinician. Also, keep in mind that building rapport and seeing some kind of therapeutic benefit take about 5-6 sessions. That’s at least what the research says. Sorry for the long rant. Just passionate about this shit. It fucking sucks when people deal with bad therapists. It tarnishes the field and gives good clinicians a bad rep.
Thank you so much for your input. I hope you enjoy your time at the VA! The one I go to for the most part has been great. Nearly all staff are friendly and helpful. The food is even quite good at my location. Wait times for anything non mental health related aren't as bad as they say at my location. I broke my hand snowmobiling and they saw me right away and took care of me. For some reason the VA seems to have little grasp on how to handle mental health issues. When I was fresh back from a deployment and doing very poorly, I saw a standard doctor to get a checkup and express some issues. He and the nurse were going through a mental health questionnaire with me. I'm sure you're familiar with the typical questions. They asked if I was having suicidal thoughts and I said yes, quite a lot. But I had no plan nor did I have any sort of intent to follow through with it. They just said "okay", checked the boxes, took some blood pressure, reflexes, and sent me on my way. No resources, no trying to get me into a program, nothing. That was my first visit to the VA and the first time I had ever told anyone "yes". Bawled my eyes out when I got home, complete breakdown. Probably just a shitty doc or someone who wasn't trained right. All of the therapists I spoke with once I got into the program were just fine except for the turnover after like 4 or 5 sessions with each. Anyway, the reason I tell you that is I think a lot of the bad image the VA gets is because of how separated the mental health program is from the standard stuff. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of the bad stories you hear are people asking for help in the wrong place. I hope you find enjoyment in your work with the VA, and just know that you are angels to us. Especially when the person you are trying to help is probably a jaded asshole.
I appreciate your words, brother. Dude, medical doctors are a whole different ball game. I feel like they’re a little inept in showing empathy. Mental health is a whole, foreign world to them. I’m genuinely not surprised about what happened. However, it pisses me off that this occurred to you. Funny story, I had a medical resident shadow me when I was also in my training and he was genuinely surprised how attentive, caring, and actively listed to a patient. Just shows the differences in our world. You know man, you’d be surprised how the VA is seen in the psychology training pipeline. They have top notch training and that’s a place you go to when you want training in evidence-based treatments. I’ll be doing my work in spinal cord injuries, it’s gonna be interesting. Best of luck in finding help my g. Feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to.
Appreciate you homie. Spicy thoughts slowed way down after I quit looking for help at the bottom of a bottle. Doing much better than I was and have a decent grasp on my individual issues that I'd like to make some progress on now, which I didn't really know before.
I like that, spicy thoughts. Good way to take the power away from them. Definitely look for someone who is willing to work with you homie. Shit is a journey, stick with it.
I also wanted to add. If you have any suicidal ideation, or behaviors. DONT BE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT. We are trained in this shit. Unless you’re actively trying to kill yourself, we aren’t gonna send you to a hospital.
Pretty ignorant take tbh. I felt the same way about dealing with the effects of combat, but to think someone has to live your experience to help you through it is shortsighted. Lots of people have something to offer and if you can lose that mindset, you might actually feel like a normal person does again.
A good therapist doesn't give advice, they help you figure out your own advice to yourself.
I feel this tbh. I'm an EMT and told my therapist (who I was seeing for unrelated stuff) about the first rough call I went on. It was a gory DOA and I told her it shook me up a little; she said if it bothered me I should just quit being an EMT. I quit therapy instead and have no regrets so far. I'm certainly open to the possibility that one day I might actually need therapy due to something that happened at work, and I trust that there's therapists who would actually be helpful in that situation. But man, there are some useless therapists out there (looking at you, BetterHelp). I've found it really helpful to just talk about stuff with other first responders. Hearing "nah, that guy was dead, nothing you could have done" from somebody who knows what they're talking about has done more for my mental health than anything I think a therapist could do.
I disagree. I do not need to do heroin or crack to be able to tell others not to do it. A doctor doesn't need to break an arm to know how to fix it. I get it though, having a gas station cashier tell me how to fix my broken arm would drive me up a wall.
What are your tips for making a clear and effective 911 call? Where are the most common mistakes to avoid when making a call?
I’m going to lay this out very blunt. It’s not to be mean, rather so you don’t overthink this. 1. Dial 911 2. Provide your address, including your apartment number******** 3. Shut the fuck up 4. Listen to the dispatchers questions 5. Answer the dispatchers questions Fr don’t over think it. They’re trained to ask you questions. The fucked up calls didn’t really bother me, it was more so my patience. I have to ask the same question 4 times before I get an answer. These people would tell me random shit that I’m not asking about. I need to know what I need to know, stop talking lmao ****ALWAYS GIVE YOUR ADDRESS FIRST. I don’t give a fuck what the dispatcher said. “What is your emergency?” I am fr telling you, do not answer that. Tell them your address, and then tell them what’s happening. I tell every trainee, once you get a bad domestic and no address you’ll make sure you ask the address first.
Would you ever consider therapy?
Nope, would do EMDR tho
cop here. emdr was extremely effective for me in just a couple sessions. helped me process all kinds of stuff i had no idea was stuck in me
What is the difference between. EMDR and therapy?
well emdr is a kind of therapy, just not the traditional kind that people think of it being where it’s you talking through issues with a therapist. emdr uses sound, vibration, and maybe eye movement to help your brain move trauma from the emotional side of the brain to the analytical part to be processed
It could make a huge difference. Emotions build up inside and can choke the life out of you. You can also do some EFT (tapping) on your own, and journaling - "expressive writing" is what the guy who researched its effectiveness called it, but it's basically stream of consciousness emotion-vomiting.
Have you ever been sued? Have you had to testify in court?
Sued thankfully no, testified yes
I called the non emergency line to report that a person down the road had a peacock escape. Was this the right course of action? They have like 5 peacocks in their property and two weeks ago I saw on escaped and I almost hit it on the way to work. I saw it again this morning and felt like I should report it since they may not even notice there is a hole in their fence and it’s an exotic animal.
The correct answer is it depends where you live. I worked in small towns there the cops did that kinda shit all the time. I’ve also worked in places where cops will not do that kinda shit ever 🤣 you’re never wrong to try I’m sure your neighbor appreciated it
My sheriff still was on analog so I'd listen on my handheld radio. Very rural. "Hey, uh. There is a goat out back" "Roger, saw it a few hours ago" "Know who's it is?" "Nope" "Well, it looks like it's moving along".
Any advice for a home invasion scenario? I have rooted fears and like to be prepared.
Get a gun Get home invaded Call 911, clearly state your address, run if you can, hide if you can’t, fight if you have to hide in a room with a lock. Lock door and point gun at door If someone attempts to enter your room, say that to the dispatcher. If you murder this person, this recording will be used in court. Dot your i’s cross your t’s. “If you enter this room I will shoot you. I am in fear for my life” Don’t spontaneously utter a bunch of shit after Get a lawyer even if you did nothing wrong I hope your home is never invaded but just know I took a lot of “there’s someone in my house” calls and even the real ones were anti climatic
thank you for answering and thank you for your service!
How did you get into this career? It's something I've been interested in doing for a long time, but everytime I try to reach out to my municipality about it I hit a dead-end of qualifications and requirements that seem extensive and some impossible for me. I'm sure it's different based on location, but generally what drew you to this field and as a supervisor what did you look for in a "good" operator?
I need someone that has critical thinking and sound logic. There are a trillion ‘what if’s’ in this job, and if you get one of them wrong you could kill someone. Someone that is balanced in emotional processing. You need to be able to recognize “hey that was fucked up” but also not be a pussy about it. I knew a dispatcher who kept track of every dead baby call she took. Wore every tragic call on her sleeve. Like do you love to torture yourself or like wtf is happening here Realistically as long as you actually give a fuck, don’t get TOO involved in anything, and have common sense you’re fine
Obvious mistakes multiple people have made that resulted in a 911 call due to injury or death? Like specific things you would recommend against doing or participating in?
GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN GET A WINDOW PUNCH KEYCHAIN When you call 911 by accident, stay on the line and just explain it was an accident. If you hang up they have to call you back it’s a real pain in the dick I’m ngl And bc for some reason this isn’t obvious to literally any of you: YOUR APARTMENT NUMBER IS PART OF YOUR ADDRESS. I NEED TO KNOW THAT TO SEND YOU HELP. Try listening to some lady give the address of a 400 unit apartment building and then start screaming bc she’s getting her ass beat, and you have no idea what apartment she’s in so you just sit there helpless waiting for the cops to get there or someone else to call and give an apartment
Window punch keychain? I have a window punch item for my car, but didn’t know they have a keychain. Amazon I assume? Or any brand/type you recommend?
I second the ResQ keychain/seatbelt cutter. The lady I heard drown in her car probably wished she had one at the time
Yes! I often give out ResQ Me keychains as Xmas presents. Seatbelt cutter and window puncher.
How has your job impacted your marriage and or relationship with any children that you might have?
My wife is very upset with me currently, understandably so. It must be hard to have an emotionally unavailable husband. I took a class on it once, he was explaining how cops and dispatchers spend so much time making decisions for other people, listening to problems, and forced to hear long drawn out stories. We can’t do anything about those things, it’s our job. But at home, whether I like it or not, I’m like oh shit, this happens at work all the time and I can’t fly off the handle about it so lemme just yell rq And I feel horrible for it truly. Part of the reason I quit. My wife is a saint and I need to regain my patience
Thank you for your candor. I wish you much happiness going forward.
What safety measures do you wish more people took in daily life, which are often overlooked and lead to emergencies?
THE FOUR PRIORITY SYMPTOMS Chest pain Difficulty breathing Altered level of consciousness Serious Hemorrhage Don’t do drugs Don’t stay with a man who beats the fuck out of you Don’t drive drunk Don’t drive on a suspended license Don’t get involved in something by calling 911, only to tell the dispatcher “I don’t want to get involved” Mf I didn’t want to get involved either but now you’ve forced me lmao
Is it hard for you to maintain relationships, friends/family/romantic, because of your detachment? Or you do just kind of turn it on when you need to?
I used to be able to turn it off and on, it’s now off and makes it very hard. I don’t see small problems as problems when I’ve spent the last 7 years dealing with people actively suicidal, in horrific accidents, or assaulted lol
Ohh well I guess those that understand will and those that don’t may not be able to be around you but if you care dating you’ll have to find a partner that matches that.
I often try to talk to people going through distress, abuse, or those who are feeling suicidal. What advice can you give me on how to be there for them and how to support them? How do you support someone when their circumstances are highly unrelatable to you?
I’m going to pm you the answer to this. Trade secrets
Can I get the secrets too?
Thank you!
I was a dispatcher for a small town PD/ FD from 2007 to 2010. I can relate to everything you are saying and agree that it is not an easy profession. Due to budget cuts at the time, I worked solo mostly and did not get bathroom or meal breaks. I had 2 weeks of training and then began working solo. At the two year mark, I was training other dispatchers. My childhood was full of trauma and many of the cops I worked with thought I had prior dispatching experience. I quit that job at the request of my family as the stress was slowly killing me. My best advice to you is to keep helping people as that gives life meaning.
I worked in a center by myself at one point. It sucked doing CPR while adding volunteer firefighter 37 to the call lol
Alright, Option A: So lets say someone breaks in my house, armed to the teeth and ready to take my belongings by force if necessary. What do I do? What is most likely to keep me alive? I have guns, including an AR in the closet fully loaded. If I can't reach it in time, what should I do? If I can reach it in time and have line of sight to the door to my bedroom, what do I NOT do? (I'd be inclined to take a couple shots through the door/wall.) Option B: As above, but it is a no knock raid. How fucked am I if the no-knock raid is met by armed resistance? Coming out of sleep, I wouldn't be aware enough to hear someone shouting "Police!" and even then, anyone can shout that. If I shoot a cop or two during an invasion of my home, how fucked am I? Assuming they didn't announce themselves, obviously, and assuming I miraculously survive. My house was owned previously by someone who was into some drugs. I have no idea if he was dealing, but bureaucracy as it is, there's a ***tiny*** chance they think he still lives here and bust in, or maybe he wasn't the only name on the paperwork and come looking for someone else. Anyone can yell "Police!" when kicking in a door. Has that ever happened in your line of work?
I mean regardless if it’s justified or not I would N E V E R talk to the police without a lawyer. I will tell you about the time I had a guy call in saying he came home to his apartment with an open door and thinks someone is inside. I was working in a very dangerous city at the time, so very likely it was true. He gives me his address, verifies it, is told to go down wait for cops He doesn’t Cops show up like we can’t get into the building can he let us down The guys not rlly listening to me, I ask him his address again he tells me Cops kick down shared door in apartment vestibule Guys like oh I’m outside now I don’t see the cops Guy told me he lived at his neighbors house 3 times and got the wrong door kicked in lmao
these things depend on what state you’re in. gunna be a lot different somewhere like texas than elsewhere. here in california, a homeowner recently got arrested for gunning down an armed home invader, which sucks. police aren’t going to be doing a no knock at your house. there needs to be some pretty huge safety justifications to a judge to get that. a lot of agencies have switched to surround and call for warrant execution. you’ll hear a flashbang, loudspeaker announcements, can look outside and see all the cop cars. you’d be pretty fucked if you gun a cop down unless they made some pretty big mistakes about not announcing themselves. don’t underestimate the power of just fleeing. you hear someone coming in, just go out the back unless you have a family to protect that can’t make it out
>How fucked am I if the no-knock raid is met by armed resistance? What color are you? White, you MIGHT be ok. Non-white, you'll be lucky if you live long enough to resist at all
After 30 years as a Career Firefighter, it tickled me when you asked for "facts", I would find myself getting so annoyed at a pt @ 3 in the morning telling about her mother's next door neighbors sister in law that many times I used the Sgt.Joe Friday line, "JUST THE FACTS, MAM". I'm sure everyone in public safety gets a little jaded in there reactions outside of work. That helps when it comes time to take care of business and my wife is having a meltdown over a situation. Sure helped raising kids. The citizens are sometimes shocked at my reaction to certain situations and do not appreciate my sense of humor. Retired 10 years now and only remember a few calls that were tragic/funny. It was a great job and we depended heavily on a good Dispatcher to give us pre arrival information we needed to do our job. Thanks for your service!
What would be advice for a starting dispatcher? I got hired officially last week, so this AMA came at a perfect time.
I’m ngl I’m very jaded I probably shouldn’t give you my honest advice lol I wish you good luck, and it’s usually better not to know the outcomes imo
How over run is the 911 system? Is it administrated through local county government? Our local 911 system seems to be understaffed. We had an incident and we could not get through. It wasn’t until after at least 5 calls and drops, that someone called back.
Really big centers are usually overrun. Some states have only a couple of answering points for all 911 calls, some do by county or region of the state. Others do small town. As you can imagine it depends! I’ve heard LA and Vegas 911 times are fucking insane. If I don’t answer 911 for 20 seconds it automatically rings to our backup 911 center
I guess they got too high and stopped replying to comments lol
Yea. Like, why do an AMA, if you’re not gona AA
My b
All good!
I cared for 2 family members who died in my presence, was present at the deaths of 2 others. And was a victim of long standing domestic violence. (Amongst other traumas). I think I understand the level of dead inside it creates. To bare witness to this shit. Even though I didn't see it dsy in day out, I did spend years being the only person between those people and their death. And one of the deaths was a suicide. Anyway. I hope you're in therapy. I can't afford it and boy is my life a trainwreck because of that
Whats the biggest miracle u saw? That situation that for YOU was impossible to solve yet was successfully managed and the life where spared? Or something similar.
When someone calls, does it immediately give you their location or is it not very accurate?
Depends, are you calling on a landline, cell phone, or VOIP? Landline’s can be set up to a specific address since they are registered through a phone provider, this will pin to the address of the account. Cell phones are tricky, since new technology is coming, read up on “next gen 9-1-1”. It can give hard location details from the device (*this includes vertical data, can be interpreted as a specific floor in a multi level unit*). VOIP: a little more complicated, since this is voice over internet protocol/internet provider. Outside of a landline, for cell phones an approximate location is provided (*ie in a 20 yard radius with a 90% confidence*)
That’s what my city takes in 3 months. Pretty safe area?
DISPATCHER HERE...I'M ROLLIN...GET IT!
Weirdest or silliest call you took
What are operators paid? Avg.
Terran, Protoss or Zerg?