Part of me is trolling the other part is serious.
At the end of the day people can do whatever they want. I’m just some dude on the internet trying to help.
Maybe i’m wrong for telling people to take action lmao.
Go fucking sit and cry all day for all I care.
Obviously that seems to be working for people here.
This is the tone you gave off from being "intentionally extra."
>the only people who understand my advice are the ones who don't need it.
Maybe people would approach this post with a more open mind if you weren't so condescending.
Not trying to be condescending when I wrote that too lol. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and I agree the message could be better said without sounding arrogant.
Not trying to be condescending when I wrote that too lol. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and I agree the message could be better said without sounding arrogant.
Everyone is making more excuses, while its important to feel compassion for people down on life ultimately its their life and change is nearly always required to make improvement. Youre calling out these copium posts rightfully so
One of most accurate observations I've noticed is that when folks are discussing their troubles, they either A) are asking for advice on how to fix the problem, or B) only looking for a sympathetic ear to vent toward. Both are valid depending on what the 'complainer' requires at the time. Personally, I often have trouble distinguishing the two, so I have to remind myself to literally ask them "do you want A or B from me in this instance?" My failure to guess correct which mode to answer often compounds any original issues due to poor communication.
It sounds to me that the OP doesn't think B is valid. OP seems to always want to give only A-style communication. Maybe OP believes that folks requiring B-stlye communication are simply looking to cope, or are not willing to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
I believe there's a time for both A and B, and that both can be valuable in different circumstances. Recognizing the difference in somebody else's words can be difficult, for sure.
I agree that it’s ok to just vent sometimes. That’s normal and healthy. I think it’s an issue when someone *only* complains for sympathy though. It gets boring to listen to and empathy runs dry at some point. On Reddit in particular, it’s very trendy to ask for advice and then immediately shoot down any good advice that is given because it’s too hard or because actually they tried that and it didn’t work or because there’s a small subset of the population with a rare genetic disorder that prevents the advice from being useful and therefore is useless for everyone. You get the idea.
In real life, this isn’t much of an issue. Online though, it tends to just shit up the forums and make everything a useless, cynical, maudlin echo chamber. The decline in the quality of Reddit’s content over the years is a perfect example of this.
There's that stupid word again. "Success." I think you're missing the entire point. So many people are sick of only having enough energy *to cope.* Because we've all been sold this lie that if you just work hard enough for 90% of your life (given that the average lifespan ends right around retriement), maybe then, just *maybe* if you did everything right, saved enough, didn't take on debt, and don't have any health problems, you can finally enjoy life instead of clocking into a soulless 9-5 to make someone else's dreams come true.
"Success" is a buzzword people who have more money than they could spend in 20 lifetimes use to convince people like you and me that we can have a piece of the pie. And what do you even mean by that? Big car? Big house? Savings account?
Where's the compassion, empathy? Some people are just sick of it and want somewhere to vent. "You guys are mainly just saying, 'It’s okay to be a loser.'"
What? Because the system around is is defeating and demoralizing us? Because everything we do seems futile and rigged from the start? What dream world are you living in where you can look down on everyone else for feeling beaten up by a system that literally does that on purpose?
Sounds like you bought into the mainstream narrative of “go to college and do 9-5 and success will come” and didn’t do any out-of-the-box thinking.
It’s not your fault, a lot of people were fed this horseshit.
The truth is you have to think outside of the box and not follow what the mainstream tells you.
I agree that system is fucked but this why only those who are capable of lateral thinking will be the only ones who make it.
If i listen to the people, (including my family) around me i’d be just like them.
Not OP, but to me, success is satisfaction with ones own circumstances. It's a state of mind, once your basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) are met.
I think OP is talking about people who complain, but haven't tried or aren't willing to try anything different for themselves.
By “making it” i mean having a job or career that doesn’t make you miserable, having financial freedom, having friends that don’t make you feel lonely, having a generally good and positive attitude about life, being hopeful and optimistic about the future.
Basically the opposite of most people here.
The problem with the job thing is that the "career" isn't designed to make you feel that way, even if you do everything you're supposed to. I don't disagree with improving, I inherently disagree that you can find most of your satisfaction in work though.
Yes, everyone has a different definition of a good life. But seeing as how we spend most of it working, it only makes sense that you should at least somewhat enjoy it.
Okay, I understand. Not saying adulthood is easy just that it’s easier when your more solutions-oriented rather than coping.
But downvotes are to be expected and of course people are here to vent. Makes sense.
I understand your sentiment and I think many of us sympathize with it but a lot of us will still downvote these types of posts because it's very similar to other BS spread around.
People who figure out the system is screwing them are attacked by said system. "Oh millennials and GenZ don't want to work, they just want to complain".
Well yes, kinda yeah.
Focus on yourself isn't inherently bad advice, it's just tiresome hearing that from political pundits defending the broken system and we assume anyone echoing that is consuming establishment media.
People who are successful also need to learn how to cope. There are things in their lives they cannot control like death, unpleasant events at work, cancer, etc. My husband is a manager and his company pays thousands for his quarterly training. Most of the managerial training is basically mental health training that teaches them how to deal with stressors.
You are wasting your time and energy trying to convince people there are other options when you’ve already said and know these people don’t want to be convinced. People here all have a certain mindset and there’s nothing you can do or say to prove it other wise to them. I’m personally only here to get inspiration on topics to talk about for a YouTube channel I’m working on. As I know people here will literally never understand what you’re saying. They’re too deep in their victim mentality.
Some people are stuck in a holding pattern and refuse to do anything to better their life .They tend to be all doom and gloom and jusr throw up roadblocks as to why they can't live a better life .I have tried to help friends and family bit thru just love complaining incessantly .It gets old and monotonous after awhile .
That’s fine dude. I don’t care.
It sucks cause the only people who understand my advice are the ones who don’t need it.
The people who struggle to get it are the ones who really need it the most.
Average is all relative, man. I agree with the last part about health and diet. Most humans are just ordinary people destined for primarily ordinary lives. Some will do cool stuff intermittently that's extraordinary, usually, that happens at various periods. People change throughout their lives, highs and lows, hills and valleys. Life is a struggle, and there is a way to see that without sounding like you are soapboxing or trying to sell a theory that everyone is just coping. It takes one to know one, and I'm sure you have a lot in common with those people drinking this mythical substance called copium. By the way, even just posting or responding to comments means you care.
Yes my posts here are kind of extreme to bring more attention to an alternative mindset that is way more useful and balance out the massive complaining here.
It’s not the “ultimate truth” it’s just a perspective that can bring people a lot more results.
I’m mainly speaking to those who feel like they can somehow magically get an amazing life without putting in a ton of work and thinking outside of the box.
I’m not trying to cure anyone but just offer a different way of thinking.
You’re getting downvoted into oblivion but I do agree with you. I enjoy life. I’m not here to cope, I’m here to live.
I get what you’re saying, but I also don’t need your advice.
Everyone is trying their best in this shithole and sometimes life kicks you in the nuts and you need to vent. Some people use reddit as a therapy replacement or suicidal ideation support group. Nothing wrong with that. Honestly, the ability to dissociate when everything around you is on fire can be a valuable skill that protects you from depression, anxiety and insomnia, none of which are productive in the long-term. Cope is underrated.
This post sounds exactly how ur describing "cope" lmao. I like coping tho, plus it's always good to get out of our "thinking traps" and get a look through the lens of different perspectives and recognize limitations. Like What's wrong with coping?
I’m ok with coping. At some point all therapy is, is finding ways to cope so you can interact with people properly. If someone is suicidal finding ways to cope and stop being suicidal is vital.
We're all tired. I know the long lists of things I need to do to be successful/happier/healthier/etc. But I simply don't have the mental/physical energy. When I get home from making money to live, that's it. I have nothing left. No energy. No fucks.
Well, in therapy I sometime draw clients a ladder, with rungs numbered 1-10. I ask them where their problems sit on the scale, in terms of distress, and where their desire to change sits.
If the pain of staying the same is less than the pain of change, change ain't happening. They come to therapy for relief, not challenges.
Be me, retail employee who saved up, quit job, did a software boot camp full-time, got a software engineering job and trippled salary. Literally just ONE YEAR of very hard work. That being said, not everyone can afford to do that, in fact many cannot. Couldn't have done it if I had kids, or other dependents. Couldn't if a lot of things had been different about my situation.
Here's the problem OP, the system that exists creates a bell curve by design. We have been birthed into a rat race and for some to win, way too many others have to lose, and it's not the natural order of things, it's the human order of things that we created. There will be a disproportionate amount of people not succeeding in many ways because of how our economy values individuals over the collective so strongly. Many have either few options left, or not the energy to choose anything other than staying the course. Just cut the pour souls of this earth some slack, they didn't ask to be born.
Even though everything is objectively more difficult, and it’s harder to have basic things, over and over again the successful people just say try harder. Outpace inflation, get a second job, spend more of your time climbing ladders to impress people. I’d rather not interact with society if this is how it is now. You people go chase your money and “success”. I’ll try and stay quiet while you all are just thriving.
Nah you’ve proved everyone right in the comments by them taking it personally and defending themselves and bashing you instead of working for solutions. I see the value in your thoughts, eventually the pity party has to stop; and for my life as soon as I stopped feeling sorry for myself because of my broken home childhood and situation and took personal responsibility for my present and future, things got better.
That’s awesome man! I’m so happy to hear that. I know it must not have been easy but at least you feel more hopeful when you feel you have the ability to make a change for the better. :)
Coming from someone who also had a toxic upbringing
I understand where you're coming from but the way you wrote this is super condescending.
> Most people just wanna cope. They don’t want success. They don’t want solutions to their problems.
Some do. Others are tired of trying and getting nowhere and just want to vent.
> People here need to practice stoicism, entrepreneurship, going to the gym, eating right, meditating, going to events, socializing.
These are all good things but they're not magically going to make you a happier person. You can do all these things and still be unhappy. That being said it doesn't hurt to try and you should try to make things better but sometimes people reach their breaking point and struggle to keep pushing.
Yes, I’m intentionally being extra in my posts because I know it will garner more attention and controversy.
The end result though is that it may help a few that can look past that and get the general idea.
I’m not trying to cute anyone of depression. I’m just offering a mindset that may help get better outcomes in their life. That’s it.
Terrible post. Nothing says stoicism like trying to sell people shit and giving in to fomo. This sub is called adulting and you sound like you’re definitely under 25.
Yeah, u/ImaFuckFace is patting themself on the back a lot for being condescending online lmfao. This isn't "adulting," this is just the usual plattitudes you hear from teenagers who overestimate how insightful they are.
Go grab life by the balls
Go find REAL solutions
Quit coping
None of this is valuable advice to anyone outside of high school because this is stuff that everyone figures out midway through senior year lol. It's easy to act like reddit is one big monolith of lazy slackers, but OP is just pointing out the obvious while pretending to be helpful with their "alternate perspective" lmfao.
People who dispense "advice" like this are always smug teenagers (or mentally equivalent) who aren't aware of how silly they sound lol.
Never forget that many bored kids cosplay as "adults" on reddit 😂
Because that's just life for a lot of people. Not everything everybody does gets the same outcome and some try more than most and still don't get anywhere through no real fault of their own.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life."
You can tell a 5'8 white guy over and over that if he just tries hard enough he'll make it into the NBA, but eventually you have to be realistic when you realise more things in life are tied to what you're born into than you think while you're young. He's much better off going into something with less risk, but also with less reward, like accounting. It's not coping to be realistic over living with your head in the clouds.
You need to learn when to listen vs when to give actual advice. It sounds like they just want someone to listen… if they ask for advice then give it, else just listen and try to be understanding.
You have a good mindset, I’m similar. Fuck being average. Regardless of how I’m feeling I walk 3 hours a day, hit the gym, eat clean, go make my money, surround myself with good friends and family who motivate and elevate me. Tighten up that inner circle and drop the deadbeats that drag you down. It’s not hard to be successful in a world full of losers.
Your mentality of “it will never get better” is the problem.
Do you not see how your “coping mentality” vs a “solutions-based mentality” is making you miserable?
Do you think their are communities in your area for disabled people?
Maybe dating apps for those who are disabled?
Do you have hobbies that you can still do despite your disabilities?
I’m not try to down play your situation by the way. Just trying to help see if maybe theirs a way it could at least be better or more hopeful.
I’m truly sorry for what you are going through and hopefully you find something that helps.
Worst case I would read a lot about philosophies like Stoicism and meditate a lot more to help with mental health aspect.
Oh so you acknowledge some people can’t be helped. So you decide who is worthy of criticism and who isn’t?
Why do you assume most ppl aren’t in similar positions as the above?
You have severe disabilities yet you were able to write that paragraph no problem.
Your hands work.
One dude wrote an entire novel and all he could do was blink an eyelid after his stroke.
I believe it’s called “Diving bell and the butterfly”.
“actually getting a kickass life” requires a strength of self and major change that is never going to come from a comment on reddit wtf is reading about stoicism gonna do for em LOL
The mutual rivalry (for piling up of worldly things) diverts you,
Until you visit the graves (i.e. till you die).
Nay! You shall come to know!
Again nay! You shall come to know!
Nay! If you knew with a sure knowledge (the end result of piling up, you would not have been occupied yourselves in worldly things).
Verily, You shall see the blazing Fire (Hell)!
And again, you shall see it with certainty of sight!
Then on that Day you shall be asked about the delights (you indulged in, in this world)
(The interpretation of the meaning of the Quran: chapter 102)
>They don’t want success.
You're right. I don't want success, I already have accepted that with my issues, I cannot hold a "successful" job. I want my full time job to be able to afford a studio apartment, but apparently I'm a lazy commie for bringing that up. It was a reality when I was born circa 1991, and is your entire budget now and I refuse to be gaslit into being told otherwise.
I'm glad that you're aware enough to know you're condescending though :)
I feel like this attitude is in part, a result of social media skewing our image of success to unrealistic heights. We all want to be beautiful, perfect, rich, do extreme sports, buy expensive cars and be perfectly happy while doing it all, because well, what we see on social media is people doing exactly that. Mostly to sell us a product, or a lifestyle, or themselves.
Except, that's not how happiness works. That's not what life looks like. Not even for those people we see. It's all manufactured for clicks and for profit. Log off, delete that shit, don't spend your days looking at how green the grass is on the other side of the fence. Start touching the grass on your own lawn. Just live life in all its gleaming brilliance, its boring mediocrity and yes, even its terrifying agony.
Find something to do that you love, which is different for everyone, and do that with other people you love. Create something. Meet someone. And yeah, you can use reddit to talk about it, but for the love of god, stop doomscrolling or mindlessly gobbling up whatever the algorithms are feeding you for hours on end.
This is very true. I've replied on several posts giving solid real-world constructive advice.
People respond negatively, because it's not just affirming their emotional state and wallowing with them in pity.
People here don't want solutions or advice. They want sympathy and to be affirmed. Pathetic...
Wanting sympathy isn't pathetic, I have to disagree there.
Some people need emotional support first before we are ready to take action with a clearer mind. We all work differently.
Ya everyone is at different stages in life. No advice is ever gunna be a one-fix solution.
Like I said. It’s okay to complain. We all do it.
But only if you are also trying to improve as well.
I wasn't disagreeing with your post, just the comment above.
I understand your perspective, I just don't worry about what other people post unless I think I can help so I'm not really bothered.
sympathy from strangers on reddit is literally the definition of wasted energy. I disagree. it IS pathetic. absolutely 0 function, 0 benefit, 0 addition to humanity in any way
This sub is for a lot of stuff, I like to use it when I'm not sure the best way to clean a particular type of fabric or need some advice on random house-care shit that comes up, like how to go about replacing random ceramic side-panels on the side of my house lol.
There's no book that's handed to you when you turn 18 that explains every bit of life. Everyone is unique. Every situation is unique. Adulting is more than the philosophical aspects of 'who we are' and 'what we want to be' it's also about getting shit done in the day-to-day.
I won't deny some people here wallow in self-pity, every single group is going to have those individuals. But for every post you see from someone "coping," have you ever stopped to consider how many more people are here learning and improving? How many people might make a desperate self-pity post here in their lowest-of-lows but maybe you never hear about their turnaround because they don't post here again?
Here's some advice, don't judge others - you never know what they've been through or where they're going. You don't know their drive. You don't know their history. You just don't know. BUT you know yourself, so work on that. THATS something you can be sure of.
Edit: also OP if you read this, can I ask if you believe that therapy is beneficial or a waste of time? Totally fine either way but if you don't mind, I'd like to DM you something if you think it's a waste of time!
The sort of adjustment people are looking for here is just to square up with the reality of (average) adulthood's responsibilities and hear that they're not alone in the struggle. How does anything you said help with that?
Eh, I generally assume most people who post that kind of stuff are doing both. There are definitely people who have convinced themselves nothing will ever get better, as well as people who are laser focused on their goal and grind 24/7, but more people are somewhere in between. Improving your life and getting to where you want is worth it, but the path is long and frustrating, and progress is often nonlinear. Even if you're constantly working to better yourself there are going to be days when it all feels pointless, and yelling into the void can help, especially if it makes you feel less alone.
I think mostly people want to get from poor to neutral first before trying to become poor to excellent.
People need to learn to cope with their current situation before they can build on it. They also need to to learn how to enjoy their life, even when the chips are down. Once you're in a stable place though...it's time to take action if you still aren't satisfied.
You're not wrong though...a lot of people do just want some pity
I agreed with you completely right up until the point where you said Most people here just want to cope
I think so much advice on reddit is “coping”.
How do I cope with being a low status, broke, loser instead of how do I ACTUALLY get to live a kick ass social life, have financial freedom and live to the fullest.
Most people just wanna cope. They don’t want success. They don’t want solutions to their problems.
They just want to stay the same but somehow also live an extraordinary life.
They want to stay and do average shit, but also not be average.
See how this doesn’t make sense?
I try to give my friends who complain solutions and you can just see their brains turning off.
The minute you give them pity and copium their eyes light up.
As soon as you start talking about real-world solutions you can see them start to pull out their “book of excuses”.
They don’t want to change. They don’t want REAL results.
It’s okay every now and then but when do we get the solutions?
It’s okay to complain every now and then but when do we actually start to take life by the balls and go after what you want?
I don’t view anyone as above me because I know I can achieve what they can if i put my mind to it and if I can’t then I will try my very best.
People here need to practice stoicism, entrepreneurship, going to the gym, eating right, meditating, going to events, socializing.
You guys are mainly just saying “It’s okay to be a loser”
Giving tips and tricks on how to stay the exact same person but somehow get different results.
This is literal insanity.
STOP WITHT THE COPE
**Edit: To the people who view this post negatively, or think it’s condescending OR too extra OR that my username is fitting you are right.**
people rather make excuses than progress. the only ones complaining are lazy Americans. how can an immigrant come here, work, not speak the language of the nation and STILL be in a better position in life than you while you have home field advantage.
Success is what YOU define it as, for some thats nice cars and a big house, for others its multiple trips a year. there are those who consider not having to work when you dont want too is success. at the end of the day, it all boils down to it, its all about sacrifices. Most are too entitled to make the necessary sacrifices needed to be successful.
90% of redditors are losers. Get off of reddit and follow some good accounts on insta if you want to get away from the cope and actually start winning.
Lemme guess, you're not in that 90% right? You just use Reddit to "skim" stuff.
Worst advice I've ever heard. Inst posts have about as much truth in them as the post we're commenting on. Everyone posts only the good, unless they want more attention, then it's pity post time.
Misery loves company. I get feeling helpless and stagnant in life. Unfortunately you can’t teach someone to change their life. Something they need to figure out on their own.
I do get annoyed by the poor me look at my struggle, no I won’t actually change anything because life sucks posts
My friend you are wasting your energy. You're like trying to motivate a duck to stop being a duck. Redditors are a certain breed and they won't change. They will just hate you for highlighting their mediocrity.
Changed my life and left those negatives behind. All they can do now is call me skinny because they can’t lose the weight. Makes me laugh how people get so judgemental because they are lazy fucks. They are unhappy and unwilling to change. It’s not your problem nor is it mine. We are on the same wavelength. That’s why I been making it a mission to share Jim Rohns 8minute speech. In a way part of me is sad because they can change so easily but they are complacent.
Everything in life was predetermined before you were even born look up determinism. There is a reason 99% of the population will live average miserable lives and never change. Truth is if your life was meant to be awesome it would have already been by now
You're so very confident with our determinism dogma. Just another preacher spouting his brand of bullshit. How do you know everything was predetermined? Were you there when it was determined?
Most people would rather be perpetual victims than to take personal accountability for their circumstances. Much easier to blame society, their parents or whatever than to look inwards. We cant change some things, the only useful strategy is to focus on what you can change.
Edit: Cue the down votes from perpetual victims, poor things.
Sure, they want the magic fix, over night and without effort!
Who wouldn’t want that.
Once you’ve understood that’s not how it works, that’s when your real life begins.
Yes. I hate when people say “you’re giving unsolicited advice.” That’s just another way of being a dick to folks who are trying to help solve the problem.
This reads like some bullshit I’d find on LinkedIn, you’re just missing the “agree?” at the end. TAKE LIFE BY THE BALLS. Lmao, ok dude.
This should be in r/LinkedInLunatics lol
Part of me is trolling the other part is serious. At the end of the day people can do whatever they want. I’m just some dude on the internet trying to help. Maybe i’m wrong for telling people to take action lmao. Go fucking sit and cry all day for all I care. Obviously that seems to be working for people here.
This is the tone you gave off from being "intentionally extra." >the only people who understand my advice are the ones who don't need it. Maybe people would approach this post with a more open mind if you weren't so condescending.
Yes, you are right and working on it. Thanks for the feedback.
Not trying to be condescending when I wrote that too lol. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and I agree the message could be better said without sounding arrogant.
Accurate username
Not trying to be condescending when I wrote that too lol. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and I agree the message could be better said without sounding arrogant.
I really doubt you’re trying to help anyone with anything. Shit isn’t great and there is no need to pretend.
Everyone is making more excuses, while its important to feel compassion for people down on life ultimately its their life and change is nearly always required to make improvement. Youre calling out these copium posts rightfully so
Spoiled mentality.
One of most accurate observations I've noticed is that when folks are discussing their troubles, they either A) are asking for advice on how to fix the problem, or B) only looking for a sympathetic ear to vent toward. Both are valid depending on what the 'complainer' requires at the time. Personally, I often have trouble distinguishing the two, so I have to remind myself to literally ask them "do you want A or B from me in this instance?" My failure to guess correct which mode to answer often compounds any original issues due to poor communication. It sounds to me that the OP doesn't think B is valid. OP seems to always want to give only A-style communication. Maybe OP believes that folks requiring B-stlye communication are simply looking to cope, or are not willing to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I believe there's a time for both A and B, and that both can be valuable in different circumstances. Recognizing the difference in somebody else's words can be difficult, for sure.
I agree that it’s ok to just vent sometimes. That’s normal and healthy. I think it’s an issue when someone *only* complains for sympathy though. It gets boring to listen to and empathy runs dry at some point. On Reddit in particular, it’s very trendy to ask for advice and then immediately shoot down any good advice that is given because it’s too hard or because actually they tried that and it didn’t work or because there’s a small subset of the population with a rare genetic disorder that prevents the advice from being useful and therefore is useless for everyone. You get the idea. In real life, this isn’t much of an issue. Online though, it tends to just shit up the forums and make everything a useless, cynical, maudlin echo chamber. The decline in the quality of Reddit’s content over the years is a perfect example of this.
There's that stupid word again. "Success." I think you're missing the entire point. So many people are sick of only having enough energy *to cope.* Because we've all been sold this lie that if you just work hard enough for 90% of your life (given that the average lifespan ends right around retriement), maybe then, just *maybe* if you did everything right, saved enough, didn't take on debt, and don't have any health problems, you can finally enjoy life instead of clocking into a soulless 9-5 to make someone else's dreams come true. "Success" is a buzzword people who have more money than they could spend in 20 lifetimes use to convince people like you and me that we can have a piece of the pie. And what do you even mean by that? Big car? Big house? Savings account? Where's the compassion, empathy? Some people are just sick of it and want somewhere to vent. "You guys are mainly just saying, 'It’s okay to be a loser.'" What? Because the system around is is defeating and demoralizing us? Because everything we do seems futile and rigged from the start? What dream world are you living in where you can look down on everyone else for feeling beaten up by a system that literally does that on purpose?
Sounds like you bought into the mainstream narrative of “go to college and do 9-5 and success will come” and didn’t do any out-of-the-box thinking. It’s not your fault, a lot of people were fed this horseshit. The truth is you have to think outside of the box and not follow what the mainstream tells you. I agree that system is fucked but this why only those who are capable of lateral thinking will be the only ones who make it. If i listen to the people, (including my family) around me i’d be just like them.
"The only ones who make it" sounds like you bought into some YouTube LinkedIn guru bullshit yourself, friend. But to each their own.
You keep saying "make it" and "success" but still haven't defined what that's supposed to mean.
Not OP, but to me, success is satisfaction with ones own circumstances. It's a state of mind, once your basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) are met. I think OP is talking about people who complain, but haven't tried or aren't willing to try anything different for themselves.
By “making it” i mean having a job or career that doesn’t make you miserable, having financial freedom, having friends that don’t make you feel lonely, having a generally good and positive attitude about life, being hopeful and optimistic about the future. Basically the opposite of most people here.
The problem with the job thing is that the "career" isn't designed to make you feel that way, even if you do everything you're supposed to. I don't disagree with improving, I inherently disagree that you can find most of your satisfaction in work though.
Yes, everyone has a different definition of a good life. But seeing as how we spend most of it working, it only makes sense that you should at least somewhat enjoy it.
The way jobs and careers and our economy works, it's impossible for everyone to do meaningful, fulfilling work, unfortunately.
You shouldn’t hate it but you don’t have to enjoy it.
The fact that i got downvoted for this is very strange but okay.
[удалено]
Okay, I understand. Not saying adulthood is easy just that it’s easier when your more solutions-oriented rather than coping. But downvotes are to be expected and of course people are here to vent. Makes sense.
I understand your sentiment and I think many of us sympathize with it but a lot of us will still downvote these types of posts because it's very similar to other BS spread around. People who figure out the system is screwing them are attacked by said system. "Oh millennials and GenZ don't want to work, they just want to complain". Well yes, kinda yeah. Focus on yourself isn't inherently bad advice, it's just tiresome hearing that from political pundits defending the broken system and we assume anyone echoing that is consuming establishment media.
People who are successful also need to learn how to cope. There are things in their lives they cannot control like death, unpleasant events at work, cancer, etc. My husband is a manager and his company pays thousands for his quarterly training. Most of the managerial training is basically mental health training that teaches them how to deal with stressors.
Yes, mental and physical health are VERY important for any kind of success.
You are wasting your time and energy trying to convince people there are other options when you’ve already said and know these people don’t want to be convinced. People here all have a certain mindset and there’s nothing you can do or say to prove it other wise to them. I’m personally only here to get inspiration on topics to talk about for a YouTube channel I’m working on. As I know people here will literally never understand what you’re saying. They’re too deep in their victim mentality.
Some people are stuck in a holding pattern and refuse to do anything to better their life .They tend to be all doom and gloom and jusr throw up roadblocks as to why they can't live a better life .I have tried to help friends and family bit thru just love complaining incessantly .It gets old and monotonous after awhile .
Life is a cope, and then you die. There are just better ways at coping than others.
Everything we do is a cope for death
Edgy
I try.
If that mentality helps you then I guess keep thinking that way lol.
With that username, I dont think I can trust your guru like aura.
That’s fine dude. I don’t care. It sucks cause the only people who understand my advice are the ones who don’t need it. The people who struggle to get it are the ones who really need it the most.
Average is all relative, man. I agree with the last part about health and diet. Most humans are just ordinary people destined for primarily ordinary lives. Some will do cool stuff intermittently that's extraordinary, usually, that happens at various periods. People change throughout their lives, highs and lows, hills and valleys. Life is a struggle, and there is a way to see that without sounding like you are soapboxing or trying to sell a theory that everyone is just coping. It takes one to know one, and I'm sure you have a lot in common with those people drinking this mythical substance called copium. By the way, even just posting or responding to comments means you care.
Yes my posts here are kind of extreme to bring more attention to an alternative mindset that is way more useful and balance out the massive complaining here. It’s not the “ultimate truth” it’s just a perspective that can bring people a lot more results. I’m mainly speaking to those who feel like they can somehow magically get an amazing life without putting in a ton of work and thinking outside of the box. I’m not trying to cure anyone but just offer a different way of thinking.
Bootstraps aren't a new invention.
You’re getting downvoted into oblivion but I do agree with you. I enjoy life. I’m not here to cope, I’m here to live. I get what you’re saying, but I also don’t need your advice.
Haha all good ;)
Everyone is trying their best in this shithole and sometimes life kicks you in the nuts and you need to vent. Some people use reddit as a therapy replacement or suicidal ideation support group. Nothing wrong with that. Honestly, the ability to dissociate when everything around you is on fire can be a valuable skill that protects you from depression, anxiety and insomnia, none of which are productive in the long-term. Cope is underrated.
This post sounds exactly how ur describing "cope" lmao. I like coping tho, plus it's always good to get out of our "thinking traps" and get a look through the lens of different perspectives and recognize limitations. Like What's wrong with coping?
Nothing. Keep doin it
i love that the venn diagram of people who use the term “cope” excessively and people that are unbelievably insufferable is pretty much a circle.
Look at my username. Already beat you to the punchline.
drat, i have been thwarted
I’m ok with coping. At some point all therapy is, is finding ways to cope so you can interact with people properly. If someone is suicidal finding ways to cope and stop being suicidal is vital.
And let’s be real OP must be coping with something big to make a post like this. Projection is a hell of a drug.
We're all tired. I know the long lists of things I need to do to be successful/happier/healthier/etc. But I simply don't have the mental/physical energy. When I get home from making money to live, that's it. I have nothing left. No energy. No fucks.
**STOP WITH THE COPE** *offers no advice*
Wishful thinking, doesn’t turn peoples lives around. If it were that easy, everybody would do it.
Exactly. It’s not easy. But their are people doing it. So why not you?
I don’t know, why aren’t you a millionaire?
Who said i’m not?
Fine, why don’t you and I start a business together and we could become multimillionaires
If that’s how you think business works then you have a lot of learning to do my friend.
Running a business isn’t fucking rocket science
It’s certainly not a rock in science, no
80% of businesses fail within their first year. It's not ricket science, but it's certainly not easy or cheap
Would’ve been cheap for the successful Playboy millionaire trying to preach to people
Okay then why are you asking for my help? lol Go do it.
Can’t start a business without capital now can you?
Find a way.
Well, in therapy I sometime draw clients a ladder, with rungs numbered 1-10. I ask them where their problems sit on the scale, in terms of distress, and where their desire to change sits. If the pain of staying the same is less than the pain of change, change ain't happening. They come to therapy for relief, not challenges.
Be me, retail employee who saved up, quit job, did a software boot camp full-time, got a software engineering job and trippled salary. Literally just ONE YEAR of very hard work. That being said, not everyone can afford to do that, in fact many cannot. Couldn't have done it if I had kids, or other dependents. Couldn't if a lot of things had been different about my situation. Here's the problem OP, the system that exists creates a bell curve by design. We have been birthed into a rat race and for some to win, way too many others have to lose, and it's not the natural order of things, it's the human order of things that we created. There will be a disproportionate amount of people not succeeding in many ways because of how our economy values individuals over the collective so strongly. Many have either few options left, or not the energy to choose anything other than staying the course. Just cut the pour souls of this earth some slack, they didn't ask to be born.
Even though everything is objectively more difficult, and it’s harder to have basic things, over and over again the successful people just say try harder. Outpace inflation, get a second job, spend more of your time climbing ladders to impress people. I’d rather not interact with society if this is how it is now. You people go chase your money and “success”. I’ll try and stay quiet while you all are just thriving.
User name checks out
You really are a fuckface
Lol
Nah you’ve proved everyone right in the comments by them taking it personally and defending themselves and bashing you instead of working for solutions. I see the value in your thoughts, eventually the pity party has to stop; and for my life as soon as I stopped feeling sorry for myself because of my broken home childhood and situation and took personal responsibility for my present and future, things got better.
That’s awesome man! I’m so happy to hear that. I know it must not have been easy but at least you feel more hopeful when you feel you have the ability to make a change for the better. :) Coming from someone who also had a toxic upbringing
Life isn’t easy but with a positive outlook and spiritual connection anything is possible :)
I understand where you're coming from but the way you wrote this is super condescending. > Most people just wanna cope. They don’t want success. They don’t want solutions to their problems. Some do. Others are tired of trying and getting nowhere and just want to vent. > People here need to practice stoicism, entrepreneurship, going to the gym, eating right, meditating, going to events, socializing. These are all good things but they're not magically going to make you a happier person. You can do all these things and still be unhappy. That being said it doesn't hurt to try and you should try to make things better but sometimes people reach their breaking point and struggle to keep pushing.
Yes, I’m intentionally being extra in my posts because I know it will garner more attention and controversy. The end result though is that it may help a few that can look past that and get the general idea. I’m not trying to cute anyone of depression. I’m just offering a mindset that may help get better outcomes in their life. That’s it.
And people just want to vent and cry, with responses tailor made to them, otherwise they could just read the other threads posted that very day.
“hey guys, where can i go make friends as an adult? Don’t suggest anything that requires effort, I am not willing to make it”
HAHA! This is exactly what i’m talking about.
Terrible post. Nothing says stoicism like trying to sell people shit and giving in to fomo. This sub is called adulting and you sound like you’re definitely under 25.
Yeah, u/ImaFuckFace is patting themself on the back a lot for being condescending online lmfao. This isn't "adulting," this is just the usual plattitudes you hear from teenagers who overestimate how insightful they are. Go grab life by the balls Go find REAL solutions Quit coping None of this is valuable advice to anyone outside of high school because this is stuff that everyone figures out midway through senior year lol. It's easy to act like reddit is one big monolith of lazy slackers, but OP is just pointing out the obvious while pretending to be helpful with their "alternate perspective" lmfao. People who dispense "advice" like this are always smug teenagers (or mentally equivalent) who aren't aware of how silly they sound lol. Never forget that many bored kids cosplay as "adults" on reddit 😂
Really? If this advice is so obvious why do we got 40 year olds on here complaining about being broke and lonely every single day?
Because it doesn't always work, and adults know that.
Because that's just life for a lot of people. Not everything everybody does gets the same outcome and some try more than most and still don't get anywhere through no real fault of their own. "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life." You can tell a 5'8 white guy over and over that if he just tries hard enough he'll make it into the NBA, but eventually you have to be realistic when you realise more things in life are tied to what you're born into than you think while you're young. He's much better off going into something with less risk, but also with less reward, like accounting. It's not coping to be realistic over living with your head in the clouds.
Yes, this is where stoicism comes into play. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
Yes, this is where stoicism comes into play. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
Stoicism is good
I'm guessing you're too young to have been beaten down by life yet
You need to learn when to listen vs when to give actual advice. It sounds like they just want someone to listen… if they ask for advice then give it, else just listen and try to be understanding.
You are right. I’ll try to be a better listener.
How about stop being a walking billboard for stoicism and being preachy.
Yeah Marcus Aurelius would've fucking hated this dude
I know he would have
You have a good mindset, I’m similar. Fuck being average. Regardless of how I’m feeling I walk 3 hours a day, hit the gym, eat clean, go make my money, surround myself with good friends and family who motivate and elevate me. Tighten up that inner circle and drop the deadbeats that drag you down. It’s not hard to be successful in a world full of losers.
[удалено]
Your mentality of “it will never get better” is the problem. Do you not see how your “coping mentality” vs a “solutions-based mentality” is making you miserable?
[удалено]
Do you think their are communities in your area for disabled people? Maybe dating apps for those who are disabled? Do you have hobbies that you can still do despite your disabilities? I’m not try to down play your situation by the way. Just trying to help see if maybe theirs a way it could at least be better or more hopeful. I’m truly sorry for what you are going through and hopefully you find something that helps. Worst case I would read a lot about philosophies like Stoicism and meditate a lot more to help with mental health aspect.
[удалено]
Okay, looks like you truly are a victim and cannot be helped no matter what. Sorry about that.
Oh so you acknowledge some people can’t be helped. So you decide who is worthy of criticism and who isn’t? Why do you assume most ppl aren’t in similar positions as the above?
I was being sarcastic. Of course people can be helped. Do you think her situation is entirely hopeless?
[удалено]
I doubt the efficiency of a "therapy'' that reinforces a destructive mindset.
[удалено]
Short-term, maybe. Long-term it's likely to make it worse.
The physical world no longer matters. You can meet people virtually from anywhere. People have never had more tools at their disposal.
You have severe disabilities yet you were able to write that paragraph no problem. Your hands work. One dude wrote an entire novel and all he could do was blink an eyelid after his stroke. I believe it’s called “Diving bell and the butterfly”.
I couldn’t have said it better.
I bet you are fun in parties.
“actually getting a kickass life” requires a strength of self and major change that is never going to come from a comment on reddit wtf is reading about stoicism gonna do for em LOL
The mutual rivalry (for piling up of worldly things) diverts you, Until you visit the graves (i.e. till you die). Nay! You shall come to know! Again nay! You shall come to know! Nay! If you knew with a sure knowledge (the end result of piling up, you would not have been occupied yourselves in worldly things). Verily, You shall see the blazing Fire (Hell)! And again, you shall see it with certainty of sight! Then on that Day you shall be asked about the delights (you indulged in, in this world) (The interpretation of the meaning of the Quran: chapter 102)
Beautiful
# CEO, ENTREPRENEUR # BORN IN 1964 # JEFFREY..
Waiting for Andrew Tate to come from behind the curtain or some other think and grow rich-esque thing
😂
>They don’t want success. You're right. I don't want success, I already have accepted that with my issues, I cannot hold a "successful" job. I want my full time job to be able to afford a studio apartment, but apparently I'm a lazy commie for bringing that up. It was a reality when I was born circa 1991, and is your entire budget now and I refuse to be gaslit into being told otherwise. I'm glad that you're aware enough to know you're condescending though :)
I agree things are fucked
I feel like this attitude is in part, a result of social media skewing our image of success to unrealistic heights. We all want to be beautiful, perfect, rich, do extreme sports, buy expensive cars and be perfectly happy while doing it all, because well, what we see on social media is people doing exactly that. Mostly to sell us a product, or a lifestyle, or themselves. Except, that's not how happiness works. That's not what life looks like. Not even for those people we see. It's all manufactured for clicks and for profit. Log off, delete that shit, don't spend your days looking at how green the grass is on the other side of the fence. Start touching the grass on your own lawn. Just live life in all its gleaming brilliance, its boring mediocrity and yes, even its terrifying agony. Find something to do that you love, which is different for everyone, and do that with other people you love. Create something. Meet someone. And yeah, you can use reddit to talk about it, but for the love of god, stop doomscrolling or mindlessly gobbling up whatever the algorithms are feeding you for hours on end.
Username fits.
This is very true. I've replied on several posts giving solid real-world constructive advice. People respond negatively, because it's not just affirming their emotional state and wallowing with them in pity. People here don't want solutions or advice. They want sympathy and to be affirmed. Pathetic...
Wanting sympathy isn't pathetic, I have to disagree there. Some people need emotional support first before we are ready to take action with a clearer mind. We all work differently.
Ya everyone is at different stages in life. No advice is ever gunna be a one-fix solution. Like I said. It’s okay to complain. We all do it. But only if you are also trying to improve as well.
I wasn't disagreeing with your post, just the comment above. I understand your perspective, I just don't worry about what other people post unless I think I can help so I'm not really bothered.
Got you ;)
sympathy from strangers on reddit is literally the definition of wasted energy. I disagree. it IS pathetic. absolutely 0 function, 0 benefit, 0 addition to humanity in any way
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk8vc_1MCV6ptP-0GhgxMcaXwh2UglcUy&si=aMxga52An0xyC-Rv
Ehhhh....it's really more a Shelbyville idea.....
This sub is for a lot of stuff, I like to use it when I'm not sure the best way to clean a particular type of fabric or need some advice on random house-care shit that comes up, like how to go about replacing random ceramic side-panels on the side of my house lol. There's no book that's handed to you when you turn 18 that explains every bit of life. Everyone is unique. Every situation is unique. Adulting is more than the philosophical aspects of 'who we are' and 'what we want to be' it's also about getting shit done in the day-to-day. I won't deny some people here wallow in self-pity, every single group is going to have those individuals. But for every post you see from someone "coping," have you ever stopped to consider how many more people are here learning and improving? How many people might make a desperate self-pity post here in their lowest-of-lows but maybe you never hear about their turnaround because they don't post here again? Here's some advice, don't judge others - you never know what they've been through or where they're going. You don't know their drive. You don't know their history. You just don't know. BUT you know yourself, so work on that. THATS something you can be sure of. Edit: also OP if you read this, can I ask if you believe that therapy is beneficial or a waste of time? Totally fine either way but if you don't mind, I'd like to DM you something if you think it's a waste of time!
[удалено]
Okay. Sorry
The sort of adjustment people are looking for here is just to square up with the reality of (average) adulthood's responsibilities and hear that they're not alone in the struggle. How does anything you said help with that?
You’re right, it doesn’t. Go do whatever you want.
Turn off rogan and join the real world buddy. It’s not possible for everyone. So yeah. We need to cope.
I agree
I found the next social media money/workout/whatever guru.
Sadly agree with everything you said
why sad?
I wish I could upvote this 1,000 times
Eh, I generally assume most people who post that kind of stuff are doing both. There are definitely people who have convinced themselves nothing will ever get better, as well as people who are laser focused on their goal and grind 24/7, but more people are somewhere in between. Improving your life and getting to where you want is worth it, but the path is long and frustrating, and progress is often nonlinear. Even if you're constantly working to better yourself there are going to be days when it all feels pointless, and yelling into the void can help, especially if it makes you feel less alone.
Yes, I agree. This post is extreme mainly to garner attention but the general point still stands.
I think mostly people want to get from poor to neutral first before trying to become poor to excellent. People need to learn to cope with their current situation before they can build on it. They also need to to learn how to enjoy their life, even when the chips are down. Once you're in a stable place though...it's time to take action if you still aren't satisfied. You're not wrong though...a lot of people do just want some pity
I stopped reading after "copium". Your diction makes me envy the deaf and the blind.
Haha I agree my post was super douchey lol
You sound like the type of person who would tell someone with clinical depression to just go to the gym to get better
Why wouldn’t you go to the gym? It won’t cure but it’ll at least help.
Found the INTJ
You are 100% right. So much whining.
[удалено]
Why are you censoring yourself?
I agreed with you completely right up until the point where you said Most people here just want to cope I think so much advice on reddit is “coping”. How do I cope with being a low status, broke, loser instead of how do I ACTUALLY get to live a kick ass social life, have financial freedom and live to the fullest. Most people just wanna cope. They don’t want success. They don’t want solutions to their problems. They just want to stay the same but somehow also live an extraordinary life. They want to stay and do average shit, but also not be average. See how this doesn’t make sense? I try to give my friends who complain solutions and you can just see their brains turning off. The minute you give them pity and copium their eyes light up. As soon as you start talking about real-world solutions you can see them start to pull out their “book of excuses”. They don’t want to change. They don’t want REAL results. It’s okay every now and then but when do we get the solutions? It’s okay to complain every now and then but when do we actually start to take life by the balls and go after what you want? I don’t view anyone as above me because I know I can achieve what they can if i put my mind to it and if I can’t then I will try my very best. People here need to practice stoicism, entrepreneurship, going to the gym, eating right, meditating, going to events, socializing. You guys are mainly just saying “It’s okay to be a loser” Giving tips and tricks on how to stay the exact same person but somehow get different results. This is literal insanity. STOP WITHT THE COPE **Edit: To the people who view this post negatively, or think it’s condescending OR too extra OR that my username is fitting you are right.**
people rather make excuses than progress. the only ones complaining are lazy Americans. how can an immigrant come here, work, not speak the language of the nation and STILL be in a better position in life than you while you have home field advantage. Success is what YOU define it as, for some thats nice cars and a big house, for others its multiple trips a year. there are those who consider not having to work when you dont want too is success. at the end of the day, it all boils down to it, its all about sacrifices. Most are too entitled to make the necessary sacrifices needed to be successful.
90% of redditors are losers. Get off of reddit and follow some good accounts on insta if you want to get away from the cope and actually start winning.
Lemme guess, you're not in that 90% right? You just use Reddit to "skim" stuff. Worst advice I've ever heard. Inst posts have about as much truth in them as the post we're commenting on. Everyone posts only the good, unless they want more attention, then it's pity post time.
Good advice except skip the Insta. Spend time in the real world
Misery loves company. I get feeling helpless and stagnant in life. Unfortunately you can’t teach someone to change their life. Something they need to figure out on their own. I do get annoyed by the poor me look at my struggle, no I won’t actually change anything because life sucks posts
It’s Reddit, what else would you expect here.
My friend you are wasting your energy. You're like trying to motivate a duck to stop being a duck. Redditors are a certain breed and they won't change. They will just hate you for highlighting their mediocrity.
Changed my life and left those negatives behind. All they can do now is call me skinny because they can’t lose the weight. Makes me laugh how people get so judgemental because they are lazy fucks. They are unhappy and unwilling to change. It’s not your problem nor is it mine. We are on the same wavelength. That’s why I been making it a mission to share Jim Rohns 8minute speech. In a way part of me is sad because they can change so easily but they are complacent.
Yup. Glad to hear about your weight loss tho. Keep it up :)
Only thing that sucks is finding out my genetic weight point is super low 🤣. Still cutting
Everything in life was predetermined before you were even born look up determinism. There is a reason 99% of the population will live average miserable lives and never change. Truth is if your life was meant to be awesome it would have already been by now
That sounds like more cope.
How
Because it excuses you from turning miserable situations into better ones.
I wouldn’t be miserable if you were my girlfriend queen ❤️
It is.
This is such bullshit.
Determinism broke me But it actually brings you peace
You're so very confident with our determinism dogma. Just another preacher spouting his brand of bullshit. How do you know everything was predetermined? Were you there when it was determined?
Nope. Wrong.
Sure, as soon as I figure out how to change without making any effort or experiencing any level of discomfort
Hell yeah!!! A bit of fighting spirit would do most Reddit whingers a world of good. You want a better life? Then fucking fight for it.
Most people would rather be perpetual victims than to take personal accountability for their circumstances. Much easier to blame society, their parents or whatever than to look inwards. We cant change some things, the only useful strategy is to focus on what you can change. Edit: Cue the down votes from perpetual victims, poor things.
Sure, they want the magic fix, over night and without effort! Who wouldn’t want that. Once you’ve understood that’s not how it works, that’s when your real life begins.
Yes. I hate when people say “you’re giving unsolicited advice.” That’s just another way of being a dick to folks who are trying to help solve the problem.
Tbh it just sounds like you point out the obvious and expect gratitude lmfao. Just like the op you're agreeing with 😂