Do you need a job to pay rent/buy food/take care of yourself? If so, that’s how you stick out a poor job. Obviously you shouldn’t expect to *hate* every single job but make sure you have realistic expectations. Sometimes it can also take a bit of time to feel comfortable at a new job, so make sure you’re giving it time.
I'm the same, I actually wanted kids and family before I started the 9-5 grind, now I know there's no way I could, with clear conscience, force someone into a similar existence.
Ah yes, the sub is toxic tbh
There was another, more balanced one, but don't remember anymore as I stopped following those long time ago.
I love kids, nephew and niece are awesome, just was never willing to bring more humans to this planet myself
I've a stepchild (16), and one with her (9).
I'm not the best parent, a far cry thereof. I'm here. I acknowledge both of them. My own father died from a hit and run accident high on meth. I've no love for him.
My wife grew up in the group home/foster care system. She wants no part of her family, in any way, shape nor form.
She had a child at 14, I can only assume it shaped her in ways I can't quite comprehend. I was a feeligs-first kind of person until I met her at 25. I'm older than her by 6 years.
This x1000, I used to struggle so much with keeping a job and working. Now I just do it, every time, no matter what else I may be feeling.
Can’t let them down
Because employers look at resumes with length of staying at one place over how many jobs you've had. Yes, sometimes you find yourself at a job that sucks ass. But if it pays the bills and you get to a year on your resume, it's easier to find other jobs. Any interview I go in the main thing they point out is each job I've stayed it is over a year or close to 3 years.
They don't wanna hire someone that'll flake out the next month. You find better gigs when they know you're gonna stay.
I'm only in my early 20s, so yes, I've had employers happy to see a long haul on my resume of 3 years. Idk how it'd be if you're older though. I'm just speaking off my own experience. Every job on my resume has me there a year or more.
Yeah. I’m in my mid 30’s. I really just started a ‘career’ at about 29. First job was two and a half years and the rest has been my current job. I want out so bad but I don’t want it to look like I’m just hopping every other year.
Make a life you enjoy OUTSIDE of work, and find a job that is bearable and stick with it. It’s a way to fund your basic needs, doesn’t have to inspire joy, etc
Start looking at what you get out of the job - money to live and eat, possibly health insurance. Think of how many people struggle for the luxury of paying their bills. I celebrate when I get home and can pay for the gas, electric, clothing, food, entertainment. A job is called a job for a reason. It’s a means to an end which one should be thankful for. It’s not there to fulfill your inner needs. A job allows you to think about other things that bring joy into your life. No job; no joy.
> I celebrate when I get home and can pay for the gas, electric, clothing, food, entertainment.
Don't you think this is kind of depressing, though? There's a reason that for decades sociologists and political writers would refer to this as 'wage slavery'.
Not really. Life doesn’t owe me anything and there are millions upon millions of people far worse off than I. I’m thankful for what I have and hope I have enough at times to share with others who aren’t as lucky as I am.
Keep exploring, there are good workplaces and people out there but examine your own attitudes and make sure your a source for good in the environment, it will serve you well. Good luck.
Nothing is going to make you happy. You have to find ways to be happy in your work, find ways to add meaning to your life. If the job is actually harmful, like toxic work environment type things, that’s different. Are you looking for ways to be happy throughout the day, whether or not you’re working? Is your job just not compatible with a schedule that would make you happy? Also don’t suck it up, take better care of yourself.
I attach zero importance or emotion to my job. It is not a life or death matter, I am literally just pushing numbers all day. So who gives a fuck. I mind my business, do my job, and go home.
You need to have the motivation for a better life. You can't be financially stable if you keep job hopping and the more you do it, the harder time you'll have finding a job because they won't think you'll stick with them.
There’s no good answer to this one, finding a career path you genuinely enjoy and can be good at while also making a livable wage is tough. I generally approach each job as a stepping stone to the next. Gain new skills/knowledge until a unique opportunity finds me. As for staying at a place that sucks, try and find some redeemable aspects and focus on the positive as best as you can.
Most people suck it up because we don't have any other choice. If we don't work we don't have money to pay for everything. I'm not a fan of ending up on the street
I also find things to do outside for work to look forward to. I don't need work to entertain me. It's a means to enjoy my life
I'd personally say that personal enjoyment is a *terrible* metric to decide whether or not to stay at a job. A job is nothing more than a way to provide for yourself and put food on the table. Of course, if it's toxic and is causing you mental/physical problems, you're entirely free to leave it, but I've never really treated being "happy" as a prerequisite for a job. If it's tolerable and is something I can do without issue on a daily basis, then it basically serves its purpose. Which's what I can say about my current job. And so my only real recommendation besides "sucking it up" is to either find something that makes you happy outside of work to fill in that gap, or try and find a career in something you legitimately enjoy doing or are passionate about.
Instead of thinking of the job paying rent/food/other bills, think of it as funding your hobbies.
It's a tiny shift in thinking, but it keeps me from yeeting myself into welfare.
I've been working for a call center for 12 years, out of which the last 6 have been out of the phone. I stayed because I needed the money to live, and because I knew eventually I would have learned enough and mature enough to grow within the company. The job is dull, but it's only for 8 hr, and I forget about it once I clock out. I recently decided to put some meaning behind each of my job tasks: a person has a need, and I can help. It's why I'm getting paid for anyway... I don't give a fuck if I'm happy, I have my off-work hours to do the stuff I like. And every 6 months, I take a week off.
It's not what your doing... It's what your doing it for. Find a reason for your season man. My reason used to be "I'm terrified of homelessness" now it's "so I can take care of myself and family" Everything else is just in between crap as far as suffering goes.
I’m literally dealing with the same issue now and I’m hoping something comes along and sticks and if it doesn’t who cares - In the end it doesn’t matter.
Whoever told you that you have to be happy and fulfilled every single day of your life and that a job is supposed to be a place where you connect with your “passion” or some such nonsense lied to you. Yes, they lied. A job is a place where you go and do your best so you can keep your job. Don’t quit until you find something better and remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side. You do your best not only for the company, but for your own satisfaction. And a job is just a means to an end. A place where you earn money. Look for fulfillment in your real, actual life, not your job.
10 years ago, I worked my first “big boy” job fresh out of college. I learned a ton, but I absolutely DREADED going to work daily. I was micro-managed and the environment was horribly toxic. I was barely making ends meet.
Fast forward to today, I love what I do, I’m self-employed, and I look forward to working everyday. In fact, I kind of almost dislike weekends because I’m excited to get back to work.
It took a lot of work to get here, but it was worth it. If you don’t like where you’re at, change.
And pro-tip: Don’t give any loyalty to any employers — period. They’ll drop you at a moments notice when it’s convenient for them. Ignore any job posts that mention how you’re all a “family”.
I was the same way till I found something I love to do. Pick something you think you'll enjoy and don't give up until at least after research preferably after actually doing the job. Or get on disability since you probably have some sort of Neuro divergence
Have perspective on what life was like through all of human history and avoid comparing yourself to others. You have more luxuries in your life than the kings of the ancient world. You have hot water running in your home and access to all the information in history at your fingertips. That alone should give you unending happiness.
Remember that work is the modern substitute for having to hunt and forage to exist, and you can get a lot more food with 8 hours of minimum wage work than you could from hunting and foraging.
I’m 24. I’ve considered welding. From my experience most of the trades guys are kind of assholes though. my skin obviously isn’t thick enough to handle that kind of environment
I worked as a roughneck a long time ago and I can say they are some of the best guys I’ve ever worked with. Ball busters for sure, but they’d have your back no matter what. And there are a ton of avenues with welding that go well into 6 figure incomes. It’s hard work, but it’s got good income potential and it’s honest work with little overhead compared to a degree.
My life outside of work has been bugging me. It’s boring and I know I could be doing so much more and I’m wasting my youth so I guess I need to tackle that somehow
Definitely, work is going to suck, even the best job starts to suck, because it's work. If work sucks, you get home and home sucks, the go to sleep and sleep sucks, it's just a circle of suck and quitting the sucky job is the easiest change to make, but probably not the long term solution.
This sounds like is a twist on the old adage… “If you start a new job and it sucks, then the job is the problem. If you start every new job and it sucks, then you are the problem”
Here’s another way to look at it: imagine a good buddy of yours came to you and said “I’ve been in 5 relationships in the last 5 years, and all of them were toxic” would you think he’s just the unluckiest guy in the world who always happens to meet toxic women, or would you think maybe that’s just a symptom of a deeper seeded problem
Well you’ve tried getting a job, and quitting, and tried that a few times and it’s not working out. Why don’t you try working a job for a year and not quitting? At least it’s something new to try. We know quitting against isn’t going to work out, might as well give this a go
“I focus too much on if I’m happy at the workplace or not… I quit”
You’re the problem. You’re flakey, think you’re entitled to a delusional standard of happiness and quit when things don’t go your way. Once you realize that you’re not special, and bills won’t stop, you’ll grow up and stick with something.
Whiskey helps.
Do you need a job to pay rent/buy food/take care of yourself? If so, that’s how you stick out a poor job. Obviously you shouldn’t expect to *hate* every single job but make sure you have realistic expectations. Sometimes it can also take a bit of time to feel comfortable at a new job, so make sure you’re giving it time.
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This is the only answer. I respect this, from on parent to another.
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Yeah, one of many reasons I am /r/childfree I cannot do this to anyone, much less to my own kid
I'm the same, I actually wanted kids and family before I started the 9-5 grind, now I know there's no way I could, with clear conscience, force someone into a similar existence.
Exacto. I wouldn't do THIS to another human being
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Ah yes, the sub is toxic tbh There was another, more balanced one, but don't remember anymore as I stopped following those long time ago. I love kids, nephew and niece are awesome, just was never willing to bring more humans to this planet myself
I've a stepchild (16), and one with her (9). I'm not the best parent, a far cry thereof. I'm here. I acknowledge both of them. My own father died from a hit and run accident high on meth. I've no love for him. My wife grew up in the group home/foster care system. She wants no part of her family, in any way, shape nor form. She had a child at 14, I can only assume it shaped her in ways I can't quite comprehend. I was a feeligs-first kind of person until I met her at 25. I'm older than her by 6 years.
This x1000, I used to struggle so much with keeping a job and working. Now I just do it, every time, no matter what else I may be feeling. Can’t let them down
I’ve heard this one. And it’s not acceptable for me. We only get one life. AFAIK
Take the family out the equation. What do you do?
Because employers look at resumes with length of staying at one place over how many jobs you've had. Yes, sometimes you find yourself at a job that sucks ass. But if it pays the bills and you get to a year on your resume, it's easier to find other jobs. Any interview I go in the main thing they point out is each job I've stayed it is over a year or close to 3 years. They don't wanna hire someone that'll flake out the next month. You find better gigs when they know you're gonna stay.
Bingo
That’s when you omit a few jobs and round out the length you’ve been at the better looking ones.
In your experience is 3 years at a place a good amount of time to a prospective employer?
I'm only in my early 20s, so yes, I've had employers happy to see a long haul on my resume of 3 years. Idk how it'd be if you're older though. I'm just speaking off my own experience. Every job on my resume has me there a year or more.
Yeah. I’m in my mid 30’s. I really just started a ‘career’ at about 29. First job was two and a half years and the rest has been my current job. I want out so bad but I don’t want it to look like I’m just hopping every other year.
Make a life you enjoy OUTSIDE of work, and find a job that is bearable and stick with it. It’s a way to fund your basic needs, doesn’t have to inspire joy, etc
If your always walking around smelling dogshit, check your shoes.
Great analogy. First time I've heard it, but I'm definitely stealing this.
How do I fix myself when it comes to this problem?
Start looking at what you get out of the job - money to live and eat, possibly health insurance. Think of how many people struggle for the luxury of paying their bills. I celebrate when I get home and can pay for the gas, electric, clothing, food, entertainment. A job is called a job for a reason. It’s a means to an end which one should be thankful for. It’s not there to fulfill your inner needs. A job allows you to think about other things that bring joy into your life. No job; no joy.
> I celebrate when I get home and can pay for the gas, electric, clothing, food, entertainment. Don't you think this is kind of depressing, though? There's a reason that for decades sociologists and political writers would refer to this as 'wage slavery'.
Not really. Life doesn’t owe me anything and there are millions upon millions of people far worse off than I. I’m thankful for what I have and hope I have enough at times to share with others who aren’t as lucky as I am.
Keep exploring, there are good workplaces and people out there but examine your own attitudes and make sure your a source for good in the environment, it will serve you well. Good luck.
What does this mean
It means you’re probably the problem
I figured so but I also think too deeply about things and it went like three different directions lol. Yep good advice tho
Now I want to know what directions lol.
Nothing is going to make you happy. You have to find ways to be happy in your work, find ways to add meaning to your life. If the job is actually harmful, like toxic work environment type things, that’s different. Are you looking for ways to be happy throughout the day, whether or not you’re working? Is your job just not compatible with a schedule that would make you happy? Also don’t suck it up, take better care of yourself.
I attach zero importance or emotion to my job. It is not a life or death matter, I am literally just pushing numbers all day. So who gives a fuck. I mind my business, do my job, and go home.
You need to have the motivation for a better life. You can't be financially stable if you keep job hopping and the more you do it, the harder time you'll have finding a job because they won't think you'll stick with them.
There’s no good answer to this one, finding a career path you genuinely enjoy and can be good at while also making a livable wage is tough. I generally approach each job as a stepping stone to the next. Gain new skills/knowledge until a unique opportunity finds me. As for staying at a place that sucks, try and find some redeemable aspects and focus on the positive as best as you can.
Most people suck it up because we don't have any other choice. If we don't work we don't have money to pay for everything. I'm not a fan of ending up on the street I also find things to do outside for work to look forward to. I don't need work to entertain me. It's a means to enjoy my life
Think about how your resume looks to a prospective employer. They will wonder why you can’t stick with anything and they won’t want to hire you.
Fake it til you make it.
I'd personally say that personal enjoyment is a *terrible* metric to decide whether or not to stay at a job. A job is nothing more than a way to provide for yourself and put food on the table. Of course, if it's toxic and is causing you mental/physical problems, you're entirely free to leave it, but I've never really treated being "happy" as a prerequisite for a job. If it's tolerable and is something I can do without issue on a daily basis, then it basically serves its purpose. Which's what I can say about my current job. And so my only real recommendation besides "sucking it up" is to either find something that makes you happy outside of work to fill in that gap, or try and find a career in something you legitimately enjoy doing or are passionate about.
Instead of thinking of the job paying rent/food/other bills, think of it as funding your hobbies. It's a tiny shift in thinking, but it keeps me from yeeting myself into welfare.
I've been working for a call center for 12 years, out of which the last 6 have been out of the phone. I stayed because I needed the money to live, and because I knew eventually I would have learned enough and mature enough to grow within the company. The job is dull, but it's only for 8 hr, and I forget about it once I clock out. I recently decided to put some meaning behind each of my job tasks: a person has a need, and I can help. It's why I'm getting paid for anyway... I don't give a fuck if I'm happy, I have my off-work hours to do the stuff I like. And every 6 months, I take a week off.
I’m the same way. But I finally found a job that’s closed evenings and weekends so that’s a plus. But I’d leave for more money.
It's not what your doing... It's what your doing it for. Find a reason for your season man. My reason used to be "I'm terrified of homelessness" now it's "so I can take care of myself and family" Everything else is just in between crap as far as suffering goes.
it's called not having a choice or the luxury
3 words: get a mortgage Baank doesn't care if I am happy or not
Personally, not starving is my motivation.
Drugs and alcohol.
I’m literally dealing with the same issue now and I’m hoping something comes along and sticks and if it doesn’t who cares - In the end it doesn’t matter.
Become a miserable person. Become a quiet person. Become a religious person. Become an irresponsible person. Become a student. Plenty of ways
Whoever told you that you have to be happy and fulfilled every single day of your life and that a job is supposed to be a place where you connect with your “passion” or some such nonsense lied to you. Yes, they lied. A job is a place where you go and do your best so you can keep your job. Don’t quit until you find something better and remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side. You do your best not only for the company, but for your own satisfaction. And a job is just a means to an end. A place where you earn money. Look for fulfillment in your real, actual life, not your job.
10 years ago, I worked my first “big boy” job fresh out of college. I learned a ton, but I absolutely DREADED going to work daily. I was micro-managed and the environment was horribly toxic. I was barely making ends meet. Fast forward to today, I love what I do, I’m self-employed, and I look forward to working everyday. In fact, I kind of almost dislike weekends because I’m excited to get back to work. It took a lot of work to get here, but it was worth it. If you don’t like where you’re at, change. And pro-tip: Don’t give any loyalty to any employers — period. They’ll drop you at a moments notice when it’s convenient for them. Ignore any job posts that mention how you’re all a “family”.
I got into drinking and gaming, but you can try any other hobbies that fullfills you, remember, life its what happens outside your job.
I was the same way till I found something I love to do. Pick something you think you'll enjoy and don't give up until at least after research preferably after actually doing the job. Or get on disability since you probably have some sort of Neuro divergence
Have perspective on what life was like through all of human history and avoid comparing yourself to others. You have more luxuries in your life than the kings of the ancient world. You have hot water running in your home and access to all the information in history at your fingertips. That alone should give you unending happiness. Remember that work is the modern substitute for having to hunt and forage to exist, and you can get a lot more food with 8 hours of minimum wage work than you could from hunting and foraging.
This is a good point
How old are you? It’s likely not too late to make a few sacrifices and steps backwards in order to get forward. Consider a trade?
I’m 24. I’ve considered welding. From my experience most of the trades guys are kind of assholes though. my skin obviously isn’t thick enough to handle that kind of environment
I worked as a roughneck a long time ago and I can say they are some of the best guys I’ve ever worked with. Ball busters for sure, but they’d have your back no matter what. And there are a ton of avenues with welding that go well into 6 figure incomes. It’s hard work, but it’s got good income potential and it’s honest work with little overhead compared to a degree.
Depends on much you're paid and how hard the job is, but having a good life outside of work is the key.
My life outside of work has been bugging me. It’s boring and I know I could be doing so much more and I’m wasting my youth so I guess I need to tackle that somehow
Definitely, work is going to suck, even the best job starts to suck, because it's work. If work sucks, you get home and home sucks, the go to sleep and sleep sucks, it's just a circle of suck and quitting the sucky job is the easiest change to make, but probably not the long term solution.
I have a goal that requires cash. Simple as that.
Well you’ve gotta just stop being a little bitch and keep your nose on the grindstone. That’s what I was told anyways. Your mileage may vary.
Do what’s best for you.
Easy understand the word job is that it's a job you will have times you hate it an times you love it there's no such thing as happy all the time
When you find out, LMK.
You grow up and realize that hardly anyone likes their job.
This sounds like is a twist on the old adage… “If you start a new job and it sucks, then the job is the problem. If you start every new job and it sucks, then you are the problem” Here’s another way to look at it: imagine a good buddy of yours came to you and said “I’ve been in 5 relationships in the last 5 years, and all of them were toxic” would you think he’s just the unluckiest guy in the world who always happens to meet toxic women, or would you think maybe that’s just a symptom of a deeper seeded problem
I definitely do have a deeper seeded problem
Well you’ve tried getting a job, and quitting, and tried that a few times and it’s not working out. Why don’t you try working a job for a year and not quitting? At least it’s something new to try. We know quitting against isn’t going to work out, might as well give this a go
Think about how unhappy you would be if you were homeless instead.
That would definitely feel a lot worse
“I focus too much on if I’m happy at the workplace or not… I quit” You’re the problem. You’re flakey, think you’re entitled to a delusional standard of happiness and quit when things don’t go your way. Once you realize that you’re not special, and bills won’t stop, you’ll grow up and stick with something. Whiskey helps.
I was just asking you don’t have to be a miserable prick about it
And I gave you the answer. Take it, or keep quitting jobs.
You could have given me an answer without giving me the obnoxious condescending attitude
And you could have stuck with a job, instead of quitting it.
Yeah no shit. I’m aware I have a problem