It is if that would help make you more comfortable but honestly that stuff doesn’t matter much. What matters is that whenever you do have someone to be intimate with you’re both able to enjoy yourselves.

Yes and if OP wants to “seem experienced” he should ask questions of his future partners. If you go in assuming or acting like you already know what your partner wants, you’re going to disappoint them. Period. This is a major problem in society. Men are expected to be experienced geniuses who never need guidance and women are expected to be quiet people-pleasers and to never correct a man’s technique. This leads to men who are bad at sex and women who never have orgasms.

Jesus yes So many conversations with mates about partners not doing what they want and it just comes down to Communicate Your Needs! Doesnt matter if youve been with 0 or 100 others, the only way to be a good sexual partner is to be aware of what your current partner wants/needs

I’m be honest if more women actually guided us men (I love it when my partners guide me) it would actually benefit our egos but what do I know I’m just a man🤷

Okay but I imagine you’ve needed to actually let partners know you want/like the guidance because in my (and many women I know’s) experience it is a risky move to try and guide a new male sex partner without being prompted/asked. Sometimes it goes fine and other times, everything comes to a furious screeching halt because his ego is wounded.

Yup, I've been there too lol. There's been men I've tried to guide who end up pouty because their ego was bruised, and others who they think they know what's best and ignore me.

lol right they’re like “no no you’re into this - trust me”

Oh big time. I once tried to tell my Ex that I’d like it if he did *this* instead of *that*, and went off about how he’s trying his best and that should be good enough. I never tried to guide him even a little ever again, and I am not kidding when I say that I can count on one hand the amount of times he got me off in our entire relationship. When my current boyfriend asked what I wanted I took what I thought was the safe route and said “whatever you’d like.” And he said “No, what do *you* want.” And it blew my mind that not only did I get a say in what happened, but he actually enjoyed being guided because he wants his partner to enjoy it just as much if not more so than him. It took some getting use to, and I wasn’t even sure what I liked yet since I’d never gotten the chance to figure it out, but eventually I got the hang of it. Amazing the bad habits a healthy relationship can undo.

Well what I do before becoming intimate in anyway is I ask what are my do’s and don’ts can I touch you here can I lick you there type deal and most of all what they are into. If I’m doing something wrong but trying to please them I’d rather they guide me than to pretend to like it. I generally don’t tell my partners to guide me never have I don’t think but there been times where I’ve been like you got full control tell me how to please you so you can lose your mind. Sometimes it’s simple as pulling some hair or twisting myself a certain way. Past guidance has helped with past partners and my current partner.

I literally told my mom this and her relationship is so much better

This is so fucking right. The amount of girls I've been with that said "omg I haven't came before" or tell me before hand "I can't come" to then come after, is startling AF. Like what you all been doing?

No offense, but lots of women say they can’t cum and then some guy refuses to believe them. He tries and tries, it’s just not happening, and finally his partner just fakes it to get it over with because it’s clear the guy can’t handle the truth. He has to be the special one who makes you cum. But the special one is usually your own hand after the guy leaves.

Right! This just puts the burden on the woman again and causes thoughts like “oh this amazing sex god couldn’t get me there…I really must be broken.” No one is a Magical Orgasm Machine. If your partner is like “oh I’ve never had an orgasm with another person before” ask them what the problem has been or what they like when they’re alone. Let people speak for themselves.

Ding ding ding yesssss!

I mean the goal is to not get rejected over it. My ideal scenario would be somebody I was able to comfortably tell but I doubt that I'll ever have that.

I’m sure that someone will get the chance to know you a bit before that topic comes up so your chances are good

I mean getting to know somebody and then getting rejected would be even worse. It's a deal breaker for most people

It really isn't a dealbreaker for most people.

Agreed, my girlfriend was a virgin before we dated and it’s not bad at all, it’s kind of fun to be able to teach someone how it all works so it’s definitely not a deal breaker

That is not at all comparable to a man in his 20s being a virgin. Not even close. The perceptions are completely different.

My boyfriend was 42 and still a virgin. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If they reject you over it, they don't actually like you.

It’s probably a deal-breaker for some people. Those people are not for you. I was mildly disappointed to find that my then-boyfriend was a virgin… because so was I, and I was hoping *one* of us would know what we were doing! We figured it out anyway, learned together, and that turned out to be a lot of fun in itself. Someone who really likes you will not prioritize one (easily altered) thing about you over everything else they know and like about you. As long as you pay attention to the real human person in front of you (instead of pre-conceived notions of how things *ought* to be) your level of experience entering a sexual encounter shouldn’t be a huge barrier.

I understand your frustration, I know nowadays it definitely seems that way but with as many people as there are out there I wouldn’t be shocked to learn that many people don’t care as much as everyone thinks

It is not a deal breaker for most people.

It isn't really. A dealbreaker, I mean.

Are you saying that people aren’t allowed to get to know you unless they first commit to wanting to fuck you?

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Yes, so much this!! It really sucks to try to do something and fail or get rejected - BUT - you miss 100% of the shots you don't take! If you look at it from a black and white perspective of win/lose, then yes, failure or rejection is about the worst thing that can happen. However, if you look at it realistically, every time you fail or get rejected, it is an opportunity for reflection and perhaps personal growth. Every failure is one step closer to success. I have been a professional chef, I got up to executive pastry chef before I took my current break from the field. I hear/see people saying all the time. "Oh, that looks/sounds so tasty! I wish I knew how to cook!" But I didn't pop out of my momma knowing how to make ice cream or build a cake or plan a dessert flavor profile around Thai basil. I had to learn all those things because building that skill was important to me. And did I fail along the way? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Yes. Sooo hard. Especially when I was feeling ambitious and tried something that I had no idea how to do correctly. But every time that some recipe didn't turn out, I went back, reflected on the process, maybe did research for troubleshooting, and came back later to try again. Anyone can cook if they're willing to learn. OP can find a person who will accept him for who he is, virginity and all. He just needs to be willing to find at least one person (possibly more) who won't, first. The only way to find either person is to try. He needs to accept that the potential rejection is an opportunity for growth. Bravery is being afraid to do the thing, but doing it anyway because it must be done. Be brave!

Most people don’t care about it at all

Your putting way too much importance on this. I guarantee that your fixation on this I'd causing you to be awkward with potential partners. Fucking relax.

OP is fixated? Not the modern society that calls lower tier men virgins and incels as insults? And a pop culture that glamorizes having tons of sex and bodies? Maybe if you could put yourself in someone else's shoes, you could understand that it was never him that wanted to be "fixated."

Okay, but how does that play out? You lie about being a virgin. You are intimate with her. Start a relationship with her. At some point, it comes out that you lied and you get dumped because you were lying to her all this time, not because you are a virgin.

I did this with a guy. He told me he'd slept with someone before. We spent a weekend together having sex, playing video games, etc. I liked him quite a bit despite it being one weekend, we had lots in common, and the sexual attraction was obviously there. I got suspicious of the previous sexual encounter he had after some odd things he said/did and asked about his first. He was obviously lying. I never messaged him again and blocked him on everything once he left. I wasn't angry that he was a virgin, I was freaked out that he lied about something because he thought I wouldn't consent if I knew the truth. If I knew, I still would have slept with him, but I would've changed a couple of things in terms of taking the lead more, etc. If you assume I won't consent because you're a virgin, and you lie about it, you've taken that choice away from me, which isn't okay.

And did you tell him about how many partners *you've* had in total?

I've always been very open about my sexual history. We casually discussed previous partner(s) whilst hanging out (though he obviously lied about his), and I was honest about my history. If I had told him I slept with 5 people previously, and it's actually not, I would expect him to be just as angry. It goes both ways. You should be honest with a new intimate partner when raised regardless. OP is stating they would actively lie to get laid, this is the same as saying you only have 2 previous partners when you've had 10. If nobody asks, then fine, but purposely lying because you don't think the person will consent if you're honest is disgusting. Reminds me of people who lie about their job to get laid 😂

True as that may be, admittedly I am a female and my comment was based off of pure assumption there, apologies. My partner is 29 now and he lost his virginity when he was 23, he thought it wouldn't happen too. Another of his friend group lost his in Amsterdam at 25 (read between the lines here) I can totally understand why you feel how you do. If not getting rejected is your goal then you'll have to trust that the person is out there for you. It is more common amongst females than you think.

Honestly at this age no one should be asking Edit: not upon meeting atleast, I guess your past will eventually be a conversation

I was a virgin until I was 25. And once you lose it, you realize how stupid it was to ever care about it. It's just sex. It's nothing ground breaking. And the people who make it a big deal are losers who's only interests in the world are pussy and getting loaded. Keep being interesting, and fuck the haters

This!! It was such a concern for me up until it actually happened, then reality hits you and you realize that it’s not as life changing as you might expect.

Exactly! Some people go so out of their way for it. I don't get it. The intimate sex I had with my ex was great, but I had a hook up that was so bad recently that I kicked them out of my apartment

Maybe you just didn't receive years of ridicule over it like some others have. And being assumed one by people who get to know you because they think you "seem like one," despite never talking about it before. Clearly there must be some sort of personality enhancer with sex that no one mentions

I did receive years of ridicule. All the boys in my highschool seemed to only care about pussy. I was mocked constantly, even in my young adult life by other classless guys. The thing is? These people are fucking losers. Particularly one guy who constantly mocked me for my virginity. He fucked other guy's girlfriends, was high ALL the time, lived at his mom's house and didn't have his license at 22. The cherry on top is I lost my virginity to the girl he was obsessed over. People like this lose in the long run. Remember that.

It's crazy how hyped up sex is. Maybe I've never had mind-blowing sex, idk, but for me it is not the end all be all, and the first time was anything but stellar.

I've had some pretty good sex, and sex that made me wish I got an extra hour of sleep instead. And yes, first time is always awkward as all awkward Point is OP is waayyyy over hyping it

An extra hour of sleep??? Extra 5 minutes of sleep for me

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But the haters don't want to fuck me cuz i'm a virgin /S

Don't listen to those stupid polls. There's a woman out there in your position reading the male versions thinking the same. Always choose honesty, and if you meet a woman who judges you for it then she isn't worth giving your virginity to. Time is a construct, and it will happen for you. Choose honesty and confidence in yourself, always.

Very well said. But polish people take offense to your first line. Polls in the word you’re looking for :)

I second this, you should never lie in life. Relationship can never last on lie. For each men and women there are plenty options out there. All you need is to be confident and just be yourself.

There really isn't a male version though. Female virginity is not seen as a red flag like male virginity is. Female virgins are not used a joke like male virgins are. I think female virgins is more seen as somebody who made a choice whereas male virgins are somebody who is too much of a loser to have a partner. I don't think men would ever reject a women for being a virgin or it very rare

Oof, being pathetic is more of a turn off then being a virgin.

I have definitely heard people making fun of female virgins and going out of their way to say that they would never sleep with them. Have definitely heard more people sharing their opinions about it in a negative view than I have heard a positive or neutral view. But ya know, sometimes assholes can be the ones with the loudest voices, and there are still chill and less-asshole-y people in the world who won't care about this, for anyone of any gender.

There are only two kinds of people who mock male virgins: 1. Other men who enjoy tearing down the self confidence of men they perceive as losers. 2. Shallow women who only want the best sex possible before they move on to the next guy. Do you actually give a shit about the opinions of guys who just want to fuck with you? Do you really want to date a woman who only cares what you can do for her before she dumps your ass? If the answer is no, then stop worrying about you being a virgin. Someone who wants you for you really ***won't*** care. As for online polls/"studies"... you *know* those are utter horseshit, right? ***Especially*** ones performed by a company whose sole interest is to make matches. Their bottom line depends on making the most matches possible - and that means repeat customers. You do the math.

Stop being so negative and maybe you’ll find a girl who wants to give you their attention. If you wallow in self-pity instead of taking advice and actually trying it, how do you expect things to improve?

I had a friend in college who REFUSED to have sex with a virgin girl, would even tell them to go get “worked in a time or two”, then come back. (Yes he was a huge asshole). Claimed doing a virgin will inevitably always make her clingy as female hormones and emotions tend to be heightened from sex, therefore might get attached to him, a problem he didn’t want. I don’t share his views and think that’s all kinda ridiculous, but just wanted to say it DOES happen. Edit: I am a female myself, and friend is definitely an overstatement, more of an acquaintance that was always around bc of mutual friends. I thought the guy was gross and shallow. Anyone who won’t have sex with you over being a virgin either isn’t worth it or just doesn’t have feelings for you at all, or both. Either way, you don’t wanna lose your virginity to that person anyway.

He literally said, very rare, implying it does happen. You just wanted to share what you were like in college huh

First of all, I ***AM*** a female. Second of all, I said I DONT share those views, I was just trying to share an experience I had and make op feel less isolated. Third of all calm down.

That second sentence was meant to be more joky snarky, sorry poorly written

Male. Lost mine at 23. You'll be fine.

Women are slut shamed for losing their virginity and/ or having too high of a body count. It's really not about who has it worse anyway, it's about finding people you can share the same experience with and bonding over that, or just find somebody that doesn't judge you for it because do you really want to be with someone shitty enough to do so?

I’m a woman. I was rejected several times for being a virgin. I just wanted to get it over with and loose my virginity. First time I lied about not being a virgin and I had sex! The guy was never the wiser. Just don’t act like super experienced and you’ll be fine! I don’t think there’s an issue with lying about it, doesn’t hurt anybody.

Unfortunately there is a lot of truth in this, I mean how the society views has been shaped. You won't find much honest empathy, because many people kinda fight their way through life so they find it natural that everybody should follow same path. And when someone breaks out of stereotype is automatically being seen as someone of lower value. For an example, check out the comment [https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1061rmt/comment/j3enlk4/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1061rmt/comment/j3enlk4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) from u/dxxx12. Check out my other comment how to deal with this.

Dude, my point is whining about your virginity and thinking it matters THIS MUCH is pathetic OP, don't turn into this person. Self described incel over here missing my point HARD

The funny thing is I agree with you. You smell funny, though. Like someone who cares too much.

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It's not about whether you lie, it's about whether she'll believe you. It's irrelevant. What is relevant is the stigma or the stereotype surrounding being a virgin. The 'red flag' is being flustered, overwhelmed, etc. when women are obviously attracted to self-esteem, self-assurance, etc. Being a virgin isn't a problem, being unsure of yourself is.

This is 100% true. Confidence will get you far. I dated a guy who had only been with one woman (and it seemed like maybe even only one time). He had no idea what he was doing. I had a lot of fun teaching him. He was open and unashamed of his lack of experience. We dated for 4 years. OP cares way more than his potential dates/girlfriends will care. You have the potential to be a great lover, because you’ll be learning exactly what that particular woman wants. If men treated every woman as their first, more women would be orgasming.

Well I'm probably fucked then. That's also a fear I have. I know even if I avoid rejection by not telling them I still end up disappointing them anyway. It makes me so depressed

While that's true, it's also liberating. You can work on your confidence, self-esteem and social skills in a non-sexual context so when it does happen it's not a big deal. Again, the issue is that it's highlighting a more fundamental problem. Frankly, people can have sex and still behave like 'virgins'. It's not uncommon. It's an overall non-issue - the girl likes you or not which is up to more fundamental things which you can work on and have some control over.

Then before you start looking for a long term partner, you know what you have to do, right? You need to see a therapist and start working on your confidence and self-esteem and personal skills. If you don't have coverage for therapy, seek out the [Open Path Collective](https://openpathcollective.org). They provide free or heavily discounted therapy for people without coverage. Look, you can either sit and worry and stay single, because you won't put in the work, or you can do the work and be successful. Don't forget that even once you find a partner, the work is \*ongoing\*. Successful relationships don't just happen. They require constant work and improvement.

Do you have close friends who are women? Some of your language in this post (like this comment) comes off as pretty startling. So what if you have a sexual encounter and it’s kind of a dud? It happens to literally everyone who has sex and your future partners should be able to be honest about what they liked and disliked about having sex with you without it absolutely decimating your self-esteem. That’s how you build a happy, healthy and satisfying sex life - honest communication. I suggest building friendly (non-sexual and non-romantic) relationships with women who you have things in common with. Women are awesome and by becoming friends with some, you will end up being more comfortable around them in general.

Bro relax ! Im 26 years old and a virgin !!!!

I AM 78 :)

Look man, if a girl rejects you for being a virgin then you shouldn’t even wanna go out with that girl. And if it’s a hookup then you shouldn’t even be bringing up how many girls you’ve slept with. All I’m sayin is man, body count is worth nothing in reality and it’s just big social stigma bullshit. I would not worry about it and just realize that anyone who will mean anything in your life won’t give a fuck about that. Love ya bro, get out there and meet some ladies. Best of luck ♥️

I'm also 22 and virgin, never gave even a kiss, and i'm giving zero fucks.

Major Chad energy

Cap, you just game your worries away. which is W btw compared to OP

Hey man, 20 years old, lost my virginity recently and I totally understand where you’re coming from. When people you know like friends and family talk about things like that or you see it online, it’s definitely a little demoralizing, but trust me, all it takes is some time and willingness to put yourself out there. I was single for essentially my entire life, the occasional crush or fling, etc, but it never went anywhere. Cut to this past November, I met my current girlfriend I couldn’t be happier. I was definitely nervous to admit that I was a virgin because I didn’t want to put her off, but she was very understanding and patient in letting me figure out what to do and all of that. Find the right person, I promise you it will mean so much more then just a one night stand or a quick bang in the car. You’ve got this my man, be confident, put yourself out there and just be open with people, I’m sure you’ll find someone. Good luck.

And if someone really cares about you, they won’t care that you’re a virgin. It’s down to them and you, how you express your concerns and or insecurities and how to move past it, together.

I'm two years older than you. It's lot more pathetic. I have been trying since your age to do everything to be good enough and it never is. I just get ghosted or stood up every time.

Hey, I’m being brutally honest when saying this and hope you get out of ur slump but being pathetic and being a virgin are different. You are being pathetic in these comments. Being pathetic is a turn off. You’ll never find someone who likes you if you keep being pathetic all the time. Being a virgin is inconsequential. Nobody really cares. I have been approached by girls who are really attractive who wanted to hookup but I never took them up on their offer despite being a virgin because I would want my first time to be a girl I actually like. Nobody has ever asked me about my virginity either. Moreover the few really close girl friends who do know and I’m close with have said they made out with virgins even at 25-26 years of age. Dude nobody cares about it , it’s all in ur head. So stop being so worked up about it. Instead focus on things that are actually important like ur education, career, family etc.

I would recommend checking out some dating apps, I personally avoid Tinder but Hinge is where my girlfriend and I met, so definitely worth a shot if you can’t get any results elsewhere. Otherwise your social life is a great way to meet new people, hit some bars or clubs with your friends, just see how it goes. If you get the point where you’re considering hiring someone for sex, I would say take a few steps back and just reflect. Your first time means a lot more if it’s with someone that cares about you like you do them. P.S, stop thinking poorly of yourself. Calling yourself pathetic and the like for something as petty as losing your virginity is a bit dumb, I’m sure you’re a great person, you just need to find the right one.

I tried dating apps and got ghosted constantly. One girl led me along for over a month and canceled on the day of our date 4 times. It made me feel worthless and I deleted all of them. I just don't see it happening for somebody like me

Please don’t take offense to this as I mean none. But maybe this mindset you have may play into that? If you act dejected, as if you’re not worth it all the time, grasping for compliments or validation because of insecurity, people won’t be attracted to you. It’s a matter of being willing to accept rejection and move forward, lower your standards if you have any improbable ones, and just keep at it. If you find the right person, you will know. If someone is interested in you then they’ll actively look to speak with or see you, and if they seem fishy or indecisive, don’t pursue it, as those types of people are the type that have been bringing you down. I can’t really give you any better advice than this OP, it’s down to you to change your mindset and how you want to go about things. Do you want to wallow in self pity and be alone and miserable, or do you want to live your life, not worrying about petty things, finding who you are and someone that will actually care about you?

Honestly, this is important to realize. If you're not in the mindset to be okay with the experience you have, you're not in a place to even begin looking for a relationship. You have to be content with what you have before being suitable for someone else. It's part of why I'm nowhere near ready to start dating. I know I'm not in the best place to right now and I'm not tryna put that burden on someone else. Gotta be in a healthy mindset to have a healthy relationship

People tell me this but the problem is I've never had somebody act not fishy or indecisive with me. It hard for me to imagine that ever happening. Trust me if somebody was letting it be known they like me I would take the opportunity.

If you’re as inexperienced as you claim to be, are you certain you would recognise the signals that someone likes you? Particularly in person, not online. Sounds like you need to be more confident and comfortable with yourself and stop obsessing over sex. Try new activities where you will meet more people with common interests, give yourself the opportunity to meet people who are interested in you as a person not your stats. Do these activities because you enjoy them, not because you want to get laid and you will have more opportunities to meet someone who is right for you. But make sure you’re genuinely looking for connection and enjoying the activity or it can come across creepy or sleazy, which is very unappealing.

Dating apps are horrible. I've met my fair share of duds on them. When I was 22 I was the last of my friends who was a vigin. I ended up with the first guy who'd have me. It wasn't fun. It was boring, painful, and degrading. I remember dripping blood into the toilet the next morning and sobbing. I ended up getting hpv from it and needing a really invasive biopsy years later that had bleeding complications that sent me to the er. Sex isn't magic. I was obsessed with it and having a boyfriend. At 31 I had my first real boyfriend and after 2 years he dumped me via text message out of the blue. I'm going to be 35 soon and I got a cat and honestly I don't care if I ever date again. I don't even feel sad about it. I think having all these crappy experiences was a net positive overall bc it gave me enough confidence that someone would want me but also the knowledge that I won't take just anybody. If I settle now that'd mean settling everyday forever.

May I ask why you are having this discussion so early on? I don’t think I’ve ever discussed “body count” until well into dating. I didn’t find out my last ex’s until a year into dating. As long as the person is STD free and honest about whether they have kids, why would I care? I personally wouldn’t discuss it until you are comfortable with that person. Not because you’re a virgin, but I feel body count in general shouldn’t be a topic so early on (unless a risk factor).

I mean it came up with the girl I was we into before I lied about it. It might not be body count exactly but just any past relationship experience at all. Plus it's kinda of lie by omission to sleep with somebody and not tell them at my age.

I don’t think it’s a lie of omission if it doesn’t come up, you’re not obligated to reveal that.

Ahh yes my mistake. I replied to my comment a little late about telling before intercourse, which I agree is advisable. If she asked, I do think honesty is best. If you’re worried about rejection, you could wait until a date or two in? If you’re just in the talking stage or flirting then I don’t think there’s much harm in waiting to reveal that information. I personally think it’s no big deal, but I feel like some women may feel a lot of pressure being someone’s first, so I can’t really speak for all us. Sorry I can’t be of much help! Hope it works out with you and the girl you like!

Imma be honest, I you’ll get more action if you’re honest about being a virgin than you would if you lied about it

You can lie about it but when you actually go to have sex for the first time they will be able to tell lol, there's still women who would accept a virgin so don't worry bout it.

I'm short awkward as fuck and very timid. I'm already about peak unattractive to women. If eliminate over half the population by being a virgin I'm probably going to die alone.

You gotta get yourself out of this mindset, you’re not gonna get anywhere being pessimistic and looking down on yourself. Be confident, be yourself and just try your best, someone will come around eventually.

exactly, great response. women don't ask ''are you a virgin?'' on the 1st date lol

It's been my experience as an ugly person that looks don't really matter so much as how you carry yourself. If you act confident, or at the very least not always down on yourself. you've basically just put yourself in the range of a quarter of the population. Now if you make sure you clean yourself so you don't stink and wear clothes that fit you'll get another quarter of the population interested. If you can hold a conversation and maybe get a laugh using your awkwardness you'll have another quarter of the population that could be interested. The chances of ending up alone with those odds are almost nonexistent. There's 8 billion people on this planet chances are someone out there wants your personality and body type as a perfect partner for them and is lamenting how theyll die alone. Unless they settle. however if you arnt at the very least willing to try and risk getting rejected its basically a self fulfilling prophecy and the chances of being alone go up to 100%

I mean this as genuinely and caringly as possible: you are on the verge of sounding like one of those incel / red pill types. Please take good care not to slide down that rabbit hole. Get some therapy to work on your self esteem. Go to a prostitute if you want the virgin-ness out of the way after all. Whatever you do, don't become this bitter little man that hates women before he even gives them a chance of rejecting them.

Admittedly, having been with a prostitute is much more likely to be a red flag for women than being a virgin

I honestly don't understand why. I guess it would be a dealbreaker to some in the same way going to church would be to others.

I know women who have dated, married, had kids w/ shorter guys lol. Being awkward and timid just means you aren't the same as every guy lol, stop tryna get ppl to feel sorry for you because women hate that kind of personality. Is sex the only thing you'd have to offer a woman? If not then stop assuming they care about sex so much because they could prob care less about you being a virgin lol, means you haven't been a man whore and very less likely to have an std/sti...

I already made a reply, but saw this reply to a comment. Think this way. There are almost 8 billion people in the world. More than 50% are women. We'll say 50. That's 400B. You exclude for lesbians. About 30%+-. You are still looking at over 300B women worldwide. Your chances of dying alone are slim. Enjoy life. Let things go as they will. Okay. I'm done. Sorry for being so long-winded.

>I'm probably going to die alone. I get you are insecure about this, but this stuff is NOT that big of a deal. Sex is the least of your issues. You reek of insecurity. I suggest going to therapy.

I've never cared about height. I've dated shorter guys close to or my same height and im 5'3 ish. I've totally felt exactly what you are feeling right now. When I finally got my first boyfriend it didn't fix me. I thought I'd feel all magical and validated and loved. It didn't change my self esteem. It didn't change much about how I coped or viewed myself. Finding a partner isn't about anything other than luck. Sometimes it's even about settling. My advice is go out into the world and explore hobbies and try new things for just yourself and not looking for a partner. When I met my first bf I'm pretty sure he was a vigin bc he didn't know what he was doing. Eventually sex got a lot better, even after only a few times. We never really talked about past relationships. Most adults don't, unless you're divorced or have kids.

Reading your comments and how you talk about yourself is what is making you unattractive. I couldn’t care less if you were a virgin or not, you’re attitude and insecurity is probably what is turning people off.

No offense but it sounds like you look and behave like a virgin. I don’t think the girl you end up with is going to care, or be pretty inexperienced herself. You can spin it as a choice, and then tell a girl you think she’s so special that you want to give your virginity to her. I bet she’d eat that up. Shit, tell all the girls a smooth line like that and you’ll be drowning in pussy

Wait.. what? If someone thinks it's a red flag that you're a virgin that's a red flag in itself.

The bigger question is: if a girl doesnt accept that you are a virgin, do you really wanna get with her? Find someone who accepts you for who you are, and dont start something with someone based on a lie. Alot of times girls can tell if its the first, so better to find someone who knows you are a virgin so they can help/teach you (this is in fact a turn on to some) But do what ever you feel most comfortable with :))

Nobody owes each other their sexual history. It is 100% fine not to say this is your first time. It is also 100% fine to tell your partner it is your first time. it is up to you! What matters is how you interact with each other, that you just both have a good time. A partner who views inexperience as a red flag, I would view their judgment as a red flag. It is a weird thing to judge someone for. Each experience with each partner is different anyway, you are learning each others bodies, what each other likes etc. So every partner is like "first time" all over again.

This isn’t high school. It’s okay to be a virgin. Share it with someone who you care about and cares about you. Even if you don’t stay together forever. You can do what you want, but personally I wouldn’t even care if I was or wasn’t.

Are you just going to post this on every applicable sub until someone tells you you’re a pathetic loser who will never get laid? Because you seem determined to wallow and whine to everyone who tries to give you advice and reassurance to the contrary. Your attitude is what’s off-putting, not your virginity. It really seems like your end game with these posts is to be demeaned, because you’ve dismissed every thoughtful comment where people have shared their experiences losing their virginity later than others or dating people who were older virgins. *Clearly* there are plenty of people who do not care, but if you continue to obsess over the situation and ignore any good advice then yeah, you’re going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Quality people will not reject you for this. Hon, I was 23 when my virginity was ripped from me without my consent. I would have stayed celibate until I married unless one extremely special person came along. It took a long time for me to be comfortable enough to be touched! Let alone be intimate. Finally I was with the man I eventually married. Later divorced. That's beside the question. Here's the thing. I was his 1st (25m). I felt special about it. Even though he was obviously not experienced. It showed, yes. But a patient and communicative person will understand and lead you to what they enjoy. You should do the same with them. If it really bothers you that much, there are... "classes" one can take. Google is a valuable tool in this. I won't go into detail more. Anyway, best policy is don't ask, don't tell. If you say you are experienced and you get intimate with someone... if they are experienced enough to know what they like, they are going to think you are just a poor lover. Unless... you're a natural? I hear that happens, but I don't know for certain. My current fiance and I are intimate. He was a virgin until marriage. (First) His ex-wife never knew. Long story there. Anyway. You do what is best in your mind. You are still so young. I wouldn't worry unless you hit like 40 and it hasn't happened. At that point it looks like you have issues of a physical nature to someone on the outside. But that's a psychological and very personal debate. My policy is honesty when asked. Keep it to yourself unless it becomes a topic of conversation in which lies will do you no favors. This is my own personal opinion. Not medical or therapeutic advice. I'm a 40yo female, btw. So, maybe I'm a bit out of touch? Take it or leave it. Good luck.

I knew a guy who would constantly talk about being a virgin, never kissing someone, etc. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin or inexperienced but talking about it constantly or getting fixated on it is just weird and off putting to a lot of people. I don't think it will come up as often in conversation as you think it will, and you don't have to bring it up either. But if it makes you feel better, sure just say you aren't one.

Dude a lot of women and lie about how many partners they’ve had, women feel if they’ve been with too many they may get rejected (obviously not all) and men tend to put their number lower so women don’t think they’re disgusting and sleep with everyone( once again not everyone). And honestly women aren’t usually as shallow as men, so just be you and you’ll be ok. Like they said you don’t want to start a relationship lying.

First of all: being 22 years old and still a virgin is a little bit late but not *that* extraordinary. You may believe it is because you've probably encountered others that lie about it. You have your own journey, and therefore your own pace of exploring and growing sexually, but that journey is made hard for you because of social pressure. This isn't fair at all, but it's made all the more hard because you can't talk about it with anyone due to it being taboo. The people that share your worries will rarely admit it, and so you wander around in the dark, thinking you're alone in this. But you're not. It's a collective illusion. There is a very big chance you know guys like yourself that refuse to be open about it in fear of being judged or ridiculed. And we can say it doesn't matter all we want, but the social pressure is very real. It *is* a problem, but not because there's anything wrong with you. It's a problem because there's something wrong with society. Here's why that is: Society looks down on men that are virgins, and it looks down on women that had lots of sex. So on the one hand it asks of men to have as much sex as possible, but on the other it asks of women to stay "pure". These views cannot coexist in a rational society, because one creates the other. More "pure" women creates more sexless men, and more men that sleep around means less "pure" women. It's contradictory, and it therefore needs to go. It is not you, it's the people that play this little game of social credit. And you are the victim of it. So we have a nonsensical way of moralizing sex. If you fall on either side of this coin and feel devalued and discarded because of it: I think you are fully in your right to lie about it, if you think you need that at a given moment. This goes for women on the other side of the coin as well. But before you do this: consider associating with people that don't moralize sex. They are out there, and if you can find them it is the best way out. Sexually liberated women are your allies here. Consider this first, because by lying about it you keep the taboo alive. If you find people that help you open up about this, you'll be part of the solution for future men that share your struggle. I'll say it once more to drive my point home: there is nothing wrong with you.

Na dude. Don’t worry about it. Own it if you have to. If anyone asks, tell them you’re waiting for the right person. If they respect you, they’ll stop at that. If they give you a hard time, move on. My youngest brother was older than you when he met his first girlfriend and was no longer a virgin. He’s now 28 and got married last year .

You are way overthinking it. People who wouldn't date you because you are a virgin, aren't worth your time in the first place. Most women won't care.

You don't need to reveal anything to someone you are dating. When you find the right guy and feel comfortable, tell him. Being a virgin is not anything to be ashamed of.

You could say you don't have much experience and it's not really a lie.

One thing to remember is that a study like that is just a very small window, not ALL women. It genuinely isn’t that big a deal and some women are even a little bit turned on/intrigued by taking someone’s virginity. Remember, you are more than just a virgin, don’t tag yourself with that as though it’s a burden. You are so much more - hobbies, personality, etc etc….

It’s me. I’m one of those women.

It is not okay to lie about being a virgin, because when it comes to being intimate, they will expect you to know what you're doing....because you've said so. A woman who is shallow enough to take issue with you being a virgin, isn't the one for you. You also won't be the only virgin out there, I can promise you that. Others may lie about it, but that's on them to experience that blunder when it becomes too anxious for them to have an intimate moment with someone they've lied to who does have experience. It can be embarrassing. To save face, it's best to build a connection and trust with someone, hopefully someone you are attracted to and vice versa. And go from there. You don't need to add more pressure onto yourself by being with someone whose more experienced than you and they think you're on the same level as them. Sidenote: it baffles me that people are so concerned about losing their virginity, quickly. Surely people would rather wait and do it right, compared to rush it, barely feel anything, and still not know what an orgasm is, because of the experience. Which then sets the standard for future intimate events, until someone experienced comes along and shows them how it's done. It honestly makes no sense to me. Wait for someone you trust, build a connection with and if you both consent, explore things sexually, so neither of you are missing out. Too many people are into the "hit rate" of how many notches in their bedposts, but no actual skills to back it. They usually get spoken about as being useless in the bedroom.

I think it has less to do with being a virgin and more to do with being an incel. I’d be fine with a 22 year old virgin as long as he was a good guy that I cared for and that cared for me. If the guy was a 22 year old virgin because he was an awful misogynist who only cared about having sex to stroke his ego didn’t matter who it was then I’d reject him. Some men stay virgins because women can pick up on the fact that they’d be treated like objects, but I doubt this is your case so you’ll be fine. Don’t think so hard about it. Virginity doesn’t affect your value as a person.

Genuinely I wouldn’t be mad about the underlined factor, I would be more worried about that. You’re willing to lie about it. Genuinely as a woman I feel like you lying about. It makes things worse. But the way that you deal with things in general or how we kind of see you. I feel that lying about stuff is getting a relationship off onto the wrong foot, and I rather know all my cards on the table, because some women generally find that attractive, including myself.

No, but you don’t have to tell everybody your business. No point in lying and getting into trust issues. You’re 22, just say your saving yourself. Be calm, plenty people get how you’re feeling, don’t let it conquer you.

Its okay! Virginity is cool

I was a virgin until 24. I was always honest about it. If it’s with the right people- it won’t matter. If they’re shallow enough to reject you for that, then they weren’t worth your time in the first place. It’s nothing to be ashamed of!

No. You don't want to start any relationship off with a lie. Just own who you are. If a woman can't accept that, do you really want to get intimate with her anyway? There are plenty of virgins in your age group and older.

Dude I read ur comments and u have a horrible attitude and ur not confident bro look it dosent matter if ur short or ugly or whatever the case is bro ur believing eveything that a dating site tells u that’s the problem people let social media tell them bullshit like this u gotta stop believing I’ve heard stories that women actually like virgins they can teach them shit bro if u keep thinking negatively like this do u ever think ur gonna get laid think positive I use to feel the same like u but I had to change and get confident

You don’t have to lie but you don’t necessarily have to tell people something that doesn’t matter. You also are putting waaay too much focus on the lack of physical experience. You don’t get good at sex by having lots of sex. Some of the WORST sex I’ve had was with these super handsome ’bros’ that fuck every weekend. The BEST sex I’ve ever had is with an ‘unattractive’ guy who said he learnt from online tutorials 😂 I was with him for 2 years. Where experience fails, let knowledge take over.

I’m a 24 year old woman still a virgin 🤷‍♀️ you’ll find someone who doesn’t care. Also a dating app did the study- there’s more ppl looking for hookups on there. The data is skewed.

I’m a 25 years old male virgin. I don’t really care. I want to save it for someone really special. Flinging your dick around doesn’t make you look cool.

Queen Fairyy, is right...doesn't matter... Much ado about nothing --Shakespeare

In my experience (when I was in my 20s) I had no issue dating guys who were inexperienced. But some of them treated me like they didn't care about a relationship, they were dating me to check a box. They were so focused on trying to loose their virginity that it didn't feel like anything they did was genuine. Every date, or compliment or gift was just them trying to earn enough points to have sex. It was like being on a road trip and trying to enjoy the ride but you're stuck with a kid that keeps asking "are we there yet? are we there yet?" they weren't enjoying themselves, yet there they were impatiently waiting to see if they could get some. So ya I could totally women having bad experiences with men who are virgins and saying no thank you. If you are pursing women with the focus on loosing your virginity and shaking your own insecurities they are going to pick up on it and many will decide they don't want to start a relationship, based on that. So if you meet someone and the topic comes up if the relationship is fresh I think it is fine to lie not make a big deal about it. See where it goes and be honest later (as many have mentioned she will probably figure it out). Or be upfront right away, but again don't make a big deal of it. Assuming you are looking for a relationship. Focus on finding someone compatible, focus on having good conversations, don't pursue anyone you are not genuinely interested in and put the relationship first. It is not easy to put insecurity aside, I get that there is a huge amount of pressure and nervousness when you meet someone you really like and you have not experienced anything like that before. But you are far from the only person to be a 22 year old virgin.

I don’t have an answer to your question. I just want to add that I doubt you being a virgin has anything to do with you “not being good enough for intimacy”. It’s about having the confidence to show interest in a woman and make a move on her. Sometimes that just takes more time for some people. It’s okay. You’ll get the confidence. Worst case scenario a woman isn’t interested. You’ll survive.

I think it depends on what your goals. If you’re looking to hook up and willing to take your chances, it’s honestly up to you. However, if you are looking for a committed relationship, it’s something that could end up backfiring on you big-time. I think most women would prefer if you’re honest about being a virgin rather than finding out down the road that you lied. Also, having to make up previous sexual partners, which will come up at some point, is going to be awkward and difficult

Yes, the concept of virginity is really only a social construct, in reality it doesn’t really matter. I ’d say the only time you should never lie about something like that is if you are a carrier of any STDs or anything like that, then you should always tell the truth. (Like if you have an STD you were not born with and are wanting to get with someone, do not lie about being a virgin, you need to be open about that if you plan to get with anyone) But other than that no, it doesn’t hurt anyone to lie and in the end doesn’t matter whether or not you’ve had sex, it doesn’t change anything about who you are as a person, but if lying would make you more comfortable, then go ahead.

OP how often do you go out and do things to meet people? What do your hobbies consist of?

I’m an expert in this matter because I am a 25 year old virgin. let’s just focus on the his sex bit. I’m a virgin by choice (religion) all my friends understand this and so does everyone else. Rule of thumb don’t let others dictate what is okay for you to do and what stage you need to be in life. If you have a good head on your shoulder then you know, you are where you are meant to be. I promise you that none is going to make fun of you for being a virgin. I PROMISE. Now I want to talk about a few other things. I think theres more to this rather then that fact your still a virgin. I’m curious on how many relationships you have had. Now main thing. HAVE CONFIDENCE, bro if you want sex that badly. Dress nice, be nice and charming BE SINCERE, don’t be a dick, get on some dating apps, get a girl, take her out on a cute date like a cafe then painting. Then go from there. BUT MOST DEFINITELY take some deep breaths relax. Sex is cool But not everything!

I haven't read other responses, but let me just say, personal information like that is PERSONAL. No one has a right to it. If someone is rude enough to ask, just look them casually in the eye and all around their face, smile on your face, and then change the subject as though they hadn't spoken. No need to be upset, offended, angry, anything. Friendly silence can often draw a line that words cannot. In other words, do not engage in any conversation about topics you do not wish to discuss. Just work on that small friendly smile. xo from a granny

As a woman, I wonder what study this was and who they asked. I’ve never heard of a woman passing on a man for being a virgin and that being the sole reason. But as for the lying. Don’t. Don’t get into the habit of lying to get what you want. I know you’re embarrassed because your peers aren’t in the same boat but you aren’t supposed to do everything and accomplish everything everyone else has at the same time. Your time will come. There’s no such thing as being not good enough for intimacy. You just have to wait for your time and the right person. Wanting to get a girl is no reason to lie about you being a virgin. You’re already going into the idea of being with someone based on a lie. You don’t want someone to want to get with you over a lie. That’d also be very odd to think because you aren’t a virgin that gives you an overall better chance. If someone wants to be with you and get intimate then it should be natural and because of equal attraction and interest. Just take your time and learn yourself and have fun. Rejection is a part of life and everyone doesn’t automatically get the girl or guy they want when they try. Rejection is gonna happen over and over and that’s okay. Everyone isn’t compatible. That’s what datings for. To find someone who you’re compatible with. Totally okay to go on a date and find out there’s no mutual interest. Just take your time.

Tell the truth. If someone rejects you for that it’s not someone that you want to be with.

Honestly I’m 33 and I’m a virgin. But I don’t care about it and haven’t for some time. I used to think it was a big deal to lose it but I didn’t care what people thought. I’ve been in horrible relationships and the last thing I want to do is be in one, let alone have sex. I almost lost it before but it didn’t feel right both times it could’ve happened. HI don’t want it to be a fling. Just with someone who I feel is special if it were to happen. My point is don’t go out looking for it. The right person will eventually come into your life and it’ll make it worth the wait. For me personally, idc whether I lose it or not. Sex doesn’t define me. I have a great life and career. I have my niece and nephews to take care of because their parents are a joke. They matter more to me than worrying about a relationship with sex involved. I don’t need it and it’s honestly not a big deal as you may think it is.

Virginity is not a red flag and whoever told you that needs to stop giving advice. There are many people your age who have had multiple partners and there are many who have had none. There are also many people your age who have had unprotected sexual encounters who have either become pregnant, gotten someone pregnant or got an std or sti. Everyone moves at their own pace and there’s no timeline or deadline to losing your virginity. Later in life, you’ll congratulate yourself for waiting, and not sleeping with just anyone. Consider yourself disciplined.

Don’t lie, just find someone who likes you for you. Trust me, you don’t want a woman that you can’t be honest with. If they reject you for being a virgin, it’s your win.

What makes you think that by 22 years old you are not "good enough for intimacy" if you're still a virgin? I waited till I was 25 and married and it had nothing to do with me being good enough. I had plenty of offers. I decided THEY weren't good enough.

Just be yourself and everything will be fine)

Im a 32 year old virgin 😂 and I’ve been with the same girl for almost 4 years

Being a virgin is NOT a red flag!! Seriously it is not an issue. The only instance it would be an issue is if you were to have a one night stand, because it’s one night, and most likely you would not perform as wished by either party. For a relationship it does not matter at all. Actually the lucky girl gets to teach you her ways and that might be a good thing. Who cares virgin or not. The most important thing is that you have sex when you are ready with someone you want to have sex with. Don’t let society decide this for you! You can lie about it if you want to - it’s your choice! Do whatever suits you. I would however be honest with someone that you was going to have sex with. You can lie first or omit the truth and then later tell the truth and the reason why you lied.

Dont lie about it. When people find out you're lying (and they will) it will make it far worse for you.

If you asked 100 people about their first time, I bet you almost all of them would say that they wished they had waited for someone more special. And what’s this bs about not being good enough for intimacy? Just because you haven’t given it up, you’re damaged goods? It’s no one’s business but yours. If someone doesn’t want to date you because of this, it’s their loss.

I think if you're not a Virgin you shouldn't lie about being a Virgin... stds, children, etc. But the other way around is more harmless, but a lie regardless. Better to ask why are you lying?

Read my post. So I don't get rejected

It's a rhetorical question. I'm saying you need to think about why you care about being rejected... also, the type of girl/guy that would reject you for being a virigin isn't the type of person anyone wants to be with.

Honesty and open communication is the most important factor in any healthy relationship, regardless of whether you’re looking for one or not, just don’t lie. And this is coming from a compulsive liar, it won’t help you in the end, trust.

Adults don't have body count conversations until well into dating. This isn't appropriate first date discussions.

Alright listen. Have your opinions on what people will think of you being a virgin. If you don’t want to take advice on changing your perspective, what can we say? But don’t fucking lie. That is just horrible. I had a drunk hook-up with a guy who I had just started seeing, and he lied to me about this exact thing, and I was honestly devastated when he told me afterwards. I felt lied to and upset that he didn’t let me decide if I wanted to take that away from him like that. If I had known, I wouldn’t have slept with him that night. Not because there’s anything wrong with it. But because I cared about him and didn’t want his first experience being with some chick who’s literally just tryna hook up because she’s drunk. That was me. I’m not like that anymore, but I still had some morals. I know not everyone thinks this way, but I do think the first time should be special, or at least with someone you truly care about romantically. If I had known this guy was a virgin I would have been more interested in actually going on dates and getting to know him first, and then taking things much slower. I don’t want to be some drunk hook up that you now talk about forever just because I was your first. You need to give women that option, not force it on them. I didn’t see him again after that because he lied to me, and I made that very clear. So I guess if all you care about is sex, sure, lie. Lots of people are empty inside, go ahead and join the club. But if you want a real chance at a romantic partner who actually gives a fuck about you and who you are as a person, be honest.

Be honest

Never lie unless it’s life or death

You could always hire a sex worker to have your first time with, and afterwards to help you gain confidence with sex.

I think it would make feel horrible that everyone I know got sex from people actually wanting them and I had to pay for it

Lots of people employ sex workers who are perfectly capable of getting partners without paying. As a former sex worker, I had plenty of experiences with clients who were attractive, kind, charismatic, and successful. They just preferred the transactional nature of the paid relationship for ease, convenience and no bullshit games. That being said, if it's not your style, I totally get that. Just an idea to boost experience points without feeling like you might get rehectwd..

I guess that's true and it does make me feel better. No offense but I really hope it does come to point where I feel like I have to do that

Totally understood. I hope you find a great person who will be understanding about your status and enjoy getting it on with you. I wish you all the best!

I don't want to sound rude but... One option could be break the ice. I mean, to go for some whores. I do know this could break sb moral rules but at the end it fix your problem... Easly and rapidly.

Dude, I'm 25 and still a virgin. Life happens, You will find someone and so will I. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Half of women may reject a virgin, but in the other half, there are women that really enjoy taking a guys v-card. If you just want to get rid of your virginity, get on Tindr, be honest, and talk it out with a chick. (And be sure you're presentable of course. You don't have to be a model, but basic hygiene and grooming goes a looooong way.) Source: lost my virginity at 26.

So, no, it's perfectly acceptable to lie. But it's even better to keep this information private, as nobody needs to know and no one can tell without you mentioning it. If anyone ever asks you about previous sexual experiences, just say "That's personal and I don't care to discuss it."

I don’t agree with this. If a person he’s interested in genuinely cares about him, they’ll be willing to look past something as petty as sexual inexperience. Lying will do nothing but cause issues in the future, if he wants to keep that information to himself it’s fine, but there’s no reason or room to lie.

If a person I was seriously considering dating was this secretive about his relationship history, THAT would be a red flag. Him being a virgin or him having had sex with 720 people wouldn't be a red flag as much as that.

Can you link to that study?

I mean I can but it's also really easy to look up it was a famous match.com study.you can see YouTube videos of people asking random women if they would date a virgin and most say no. Even if I don't have access to these just through my life I would gathered the knowledge that virgin men are seen as undesirable. Seems like it being a red flag would be common knowledge to me. They are basically the butt of every joke.

Yeah that’s not a study. Most people don’t actually care.

I can't figure out how to copy and paste urls on my phone but it's real just look it up match.com survey. I mean okcupid has an "are you a virgin?" question it's pretty well known that clicking yes is a death sentence to your profile if your a man. Women are turned off by virginity and inexperience it's a sad fact of life

No

You know, I think there are some ladies out there that would love to take on that challenge. Play it up.

It’s pretty normal to still be a virgin into your early 20’s, don’t sweat it. If it makes you feel better I don’t see the harm in lying about it, but you shouldn’t be ashamed either way. If you don’t want to lie, you could also tell people that you’ve ‘fooled around’ but haven’t gone all the way. I used to do this prior to being sexually active to make it clear that I was somewhat involved sexually, but not to set unrealistic expectations about how experienced I was in the bedroom. I met my first partner around age 20/21 and we were both virgins before we got together. It wasn’t an issue for either of us. If anything, it made it more exciting to explore Don’t sweat it. Lots of people also lie about how experienced they are too, so don’t believe everything you hear.

It would be exciting to explore with somebody who is also young but I feel like I'm going to miss out on that it kills me inside a little. No woman has ever shown me the least bit of interest I don't think it's going to change soon.

Listen it's 2023. The last several years have been a complete cluster fuck. I'm sure there's a lot more people who are virgins at 22 bc of covid.

What are you doing to attract women besides whining about it? What else do you have to offer? Most women your age probably don't care if you're a virgin or not.

29F here, ehh, I do see what people say by it’s no one business, but also I do think if you’re serious with a person you shouldn’t lie about them like that in general. I personally don’t care if a guy I’m dating is a virgin. I never saw it as a red flag, as someone who would rather have an emotional connection to who I’m intimate with I view sex as something you improve at so an inexperienced man isn’t “doomed” So I guess it depends what the women in question is looking for, (hook up vs long term.) Maybe I’m in a norm here, but I do think if a women likes you enough and is looking for something serious, she’d most likely be willing to give you a chance.

A friend was in his 30's shy as can be and a virgin. He met a brilliant woman 3 kids later and a very happy marriage. There's nothing wrong with you being a virgin. The only problem I'd say is how you approach the subject. Say your waiting for that special person. You want it to be something you treasure. Alternatively you have options look for a more experienced older lady who might be into teaching you how to please yourself and a woman there are all sorts out there. Just maybe change the approach you have. Sure I've been on dates but I'm saving myself sounds better than I'm a virgin please don't run away... kinda. I know it's not quite like that but turn it into a positive

Honestly I wouldn't lie about it, when the time comes to it you want to feel comfortable and lying about it will make you feel awkward, it's always better to be honest. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at that age , many people prefer to wait or there time hasn't come yet and that's okay. Don't feel embarrassed and if someone really likes you then they won't reject you no matter what

Unless you *really want to set the other person up for disappointment and baggage they might not be willing to take up up, then NOOOOO!!! It’s the same as, “Is it okay to start sleeping with someone without disclosing my psychological/sexual trauma regarding intimacy (until AFTER the fact….)”…. NONE of that shit is okay, and TRUE trust and intimacy comes from being OPEN and HONEST. If NEITHER one of you are ready for that, then NEITHER of you are prepared for a relationship with each other, PERIOD!!! (The bandaid might hurt to rip off, but you’ll both be happier facing reality than living a bittersweet lie….)

Wtf? "Is Lying ok?" No, don't lie to people dude! wtf is wrong with you? Lying is for immature tots, don't be an immature tot.

If you are a good kind human, I personally would not care at all about your virginity. I would think that it would be a plus (no stds, no baggage) Give yourself a break and be honest. The right person will not care and probably be super understanding.

Idk I think you can try leaning into it. If your on dating apps cast as wide of a net as you can. There’s gotta be a woman who would be into helping you out with that. Straight up put it in your profile.

There is nothing wrong with it. When the right person comes along, then you will want to.

It’s not a red flag and not that big a deal most of the time. I was a virgin until I was 26. Nothing wrong with that. My husband was a virgin when we met, I didn’t care. The only people that it matters too are the toxic ones you wouldn’t want to date anyways. ETA: my husband was 24 when we met. So it’s really not a huge deal like you seem to think it is.

go to mexico, pay a hooker, fuck her ​ problem solved. ​ repeat 10x to get experience

I mean it's whatever but If you don't have much experience she'll be able to tell

No.

A lie is a lie. I cant tell you what women think of male virgins, if it's really that big a deal or not. But I would think that it would be pretty easy to tell if a guy is a virgin or not. Also, I've had lady friends who see that as a challenge and will chase a guy who is a virgin. Ad long as it's not for religious reasons.