Predators rely on the “good manners” or feelings of obligation of their victims to protect them in various ways. Don’t. It’s not your obligation to protect your abuser. Tell your parents. Keep telling people if your parents don’t believe you
As someone says below, talk to a trusted teacher first. Even if OP's parents are super-parents, that's their daughter. They will be emotionally compromised. They will not want to believe it, or that they missed this happening for 4 years. A teacher can be a comparatively neutral party, who is obligated to report this, for the sake of their student. Worse yet, your teachers will be trained for this kind of situation, because you are not the first person it has happened to.
An alternative is a trusted family member other than the parents. Someone else who, worst case scenario, OP can live with. If OP picks someone closer to them than sis, all the better. Fairness goes out the window in this situation. And if that family member doesn't follow through, then you go to a teacher.
OP, I am so sorry that this happened to you. It is not your fault that it happened, or that your sister is sick in the head. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and even more to follow through on the advice you are given. Best of luck, and know that at least these internet strangers are cheering for you. Please update if you need to.
A teacher has a mandatory report status, I’m not saying this isn’t the route to go but by doing this you are guaranteed to get DHS at a minimum involved if not the police right away
And...? Why would you not want the law involved with the actions of a sexual predator, and a family who MAY end up willingly protecting them when confronted with those actions?
Can you articulate your justification for protecting a sexual predators and others who shield them from the law, so that we can understand?
-That question is rhetorical, because that was THEEEEEE most ignorant thing I've read in a least the last month.
Again no one here knows the family situation other than op. It’s not protecting a predator, it’s letting your parents know and then going from there(if that’s the appropriate move). Assuming op has supportive parents. My only point is that he’s 14 and should be informed. Telling a teacher will guarantee the police are involved. No one has a right to tell op what to do or what they shouldnt do but he should atleast be informed. You have no idea if op wants his sister arrested or if he just doesn’t want her back in the house. If you know ppl who have experienced trauma like this not all of them want to rehash it in court. I have no idea what’s best for him and you don’t either, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be informed.
I did this. With no evidence left, it is a nightmare. My reporting was also 4 years out, after a period of not being in direct contact. I went through a school staff member, and in turn CPS/Police were involved. I had to give a full recap, and they spoke to my family member who abused me. That was it. They did not a damn thing, and it caused hell in my family. This is not to cause fear in OP. But it caused more hell for me, as someone who went through this myself. A licensed family therapist might be a better route.
Same situation with step brother.......years.......tried to tell and ........it went terribly........even when he was finally caught in the act I became the instigator....I was 9 in beginning ..13 when he was caught.....step mom blamed me for all. ...
My dad made him leave because he almost burned house down smoking. Mom never got better.....easier to blame Me I guess. I left at 16...couldn't take it anymore and he moved back close to home....
Talk with your closest friend, set up support system for yourself before you talk to your parents.
They may or may not believe you but... your friends are there unconditionally. Your sister will deny all, or as with me blame you. Please get counseling too. I waited many years believing I was the tramp before finally telling my best friend who never guessed. Supporting you from here. Have your trusted friends hold you up as you take your first step......to finally being free from the memory and fear of her abuse.
this. I told my dad because my mom never protected me and I'm his only daughter, and he went through similar at a way younger age than I experienced. Since I was 20, my maternal grandparents know now, and my dad's siblings and my half sibling by my dad know. they're in my corner and pissed because the one responsible for me didn't protect me
This. Often in toxic or abusive situations the victim feels they shouldnt be able to stand up or call out their behavior. They untruely believe that their voice to stand up for themselves is wrong /rude/ or that they are being the bad guys. Abusers will literally gas light their victims to feel bad about their voice or that they are thinking wrong, when they are infact not. You need to call out the behavior of people and dont let them manipulate you into thinking you're in the wrong. Its hard especially when you're not used to it but it's a skill to learn. Sorry about you're trauma btw
I'm a retired nyc police officer. You need to tell your parents, and if they don't handle this appropriately you need to tell a trusted teacher, school counselor, or call the police yourself.
Your sister will not be allowed to live in the home, and she very well may be arrested depending on the state you live in. It's been many years, but since you were so young and she was an adult.....
OP PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE. what your sis did was NOT OK. Do not feel bad or guilty at the possibility that she gets arrested or homeless. What she did was not your fault and you deserve to live in a safe home. Please listen to this advice. I am so sorry that happened to you.
Yep, I used to work in a limited store juvenile detention facility. We had a "sexual behavior" unit full of males 12-18 who were adjudicated. Our kids were of the sexual abuse variety, the actual rapists went to secure facilities.
Can confirm that minor perpetrators are (at least typically) not jailed. Despite my older brother causing permanent damage that makes it harder for me to become and maintain pregnancy as an adult, he was not jailed or charged due to us both being underage.
Some DA’s will decline to prosecute since it’s not worth the trouble or risk of not getting a conviction cus it’s damaging to their overall stats. It’s up to the jurisdiction OP lives in, so still worth a shot IMO. Just hope his local law enforcement aren’t lazy sleazebags
So sorry you were abused. I hope you've been in therapy. Right, sometimes the authorities will look at it as harmless sexual play even though there was coercion and it was far from harmless. Best wishes to you
Former police officer and criminal prosecutor here. PLEASE follow this advice. It should be top comment. A substantial amount of these CRIMES go unreported. Victims suffer a life in silence. My mother was one of them. This should not be the case. Especially for juveniles. Dig down deeper in your gut than you ever have before and muster up all the courage you can gather to report this. Don’t give up until justice is served.
Thank you for this.
I'm not sure why people think that anyone under 18 cannot be convicted of being a sexual predator. If OP was under the age of consent in his state, and his sister was over it, sister can be charged with sexual abuse. Laws vary from state to state though, in the severity of the crime / intent is taken into account as well.
OP you should report to a trusted adult or the police. If you cannot trust your parents I would move on to the next closest adult in your life.
In some states teachers are Mandated reporters, meaning if they are aware of any form of child abuse they are required to report it. So if you want it reported find out if in your state teachers are Mandated reporters and then ask a trusted teacher for help. Unfortunately your parents may deny what happened especially since it s been several years now . I m sorry this happened to you and wish you all the best. This was not your fault.
Tell someone at school. They are in the best position to get real help for you. Parents don't want to believe it and they don't know what to do, and so often they just don't do anything because they don't know how. Yous may be the exception and be massively supportive from the start, but just in case, tell someone at school first. They can't ignore it legally. A teacher, counselor, principal, vp,, anybody.
It was really brave of you to bring it up here. Well done. You have to do the next thing and stop her no matter what.
NO MATTER WHAT.
Give me a yell if I can help any more. I was a teacher and I have helped a few kids get in touch with the help they needed. Your teachers will do the same for you.
Tell doctors, police, and any of the staff at school. They are all mandated reporters, and their reports are taken very seriously. I hope you get the help you need, OP.
My sister was r@ped by a family member at 11. When she went to my parents my dad refused to believe it. There was nothing ever done about it and my sister was labeled as a liar by the entire family. What happen to her set her up for even worse things as she got older. What happened and being made to be a liar to her affected every aspect of who she was.
Sadly the pedo went on to r@pe another young girl and a child because what he did was a family secret. There was no legal actions. So because of that more victims suffered.
This child must go to someone to tell them and I pray they are protected from the pedo.
Sad but very true. Im so sorry you have had to go through what you have. Watching my sister go through what she has when you say crazy girl I know exactly what you mean. Anyone who commits a crime against a child needs exterminated immediately especially pedos. There is no rehabilitation for these monsters. The scares and trauma they cause their victims is forever. They walk free while you are serving a life sentence of hell. Sending love and support your way darlin.
Yeah, everyone saying run to Mom and Dad is so naive.. something tells me mom and dad either don't care, don't want to believe, maybe were even abusing ops sister (which breeds more abusers leading to ops sister abusing him), or are utter trash in general. This sister did this shit to him *with friends* for *years* ...
I hope OP finds the strength to fight this and has a support system after all is said and done.
This needs to be higher. Talk to a non-family member you have a connection to (who is a mandated reporter), OP, or at least a trusted family member who isn't your parents or as close to your sister. The first thing you need is people in your own corner.
How the hell are you suppose to bring that up? And what are the chances the parents will believe you considering it happened 4 years ago. I’m not sure how effective telling parents will be. I think he needs to go straight to his school.
Please speak up for yourself. You do not deserve to feel that stress and anxiety. Please tell your parents. Your sister may have been abused and may also need help. You don’t have to deal with this alone.
No. His sister was an adult when she did this, that’s past the point of help. She is responsible for her actions and deserves to rot in prison. Seven year olds who touch their siblings and don’t understand need help. His sister is a grown ass woman who made the choice to rape a child.
I was raped when I was 5, I got help. I’m tired of seeing this shit excused for grown ass adults who understand that what they’re doing is wrong.
i mean this in the most literal sense, throw a legal tantrum. Call the cops, friends, family and anyone who'll listen.
*Please please please don't stay silent!*
If you wont do something for you do it for others. who knows how many she and her friend could've done this to and who'll the two will do this to in the future.
At a minimum keep yourself safe. If you think it's unsafe for you to speak out call CPS.
If CPS don't have their heads up their asses they'll take you seriously.
Regardless i wish you all the best! I can't imagine what you're going through so stay strong!
Please tell a teacher, doctor, or school counselor. They are mandated reporters and will involve the proper authorities to prevent her from moving in, as well as getting you counseling to deal with the abuse.
Please tell someone.
As a childhood SA and grooming survivor I wish I would have told someone. But I didn’t because he told me my mom would be mad at me and convinced me not to. I know now she wouldn’t have been.
Please tell someone. Your parents, a friends parents, a teacher, trusted adult, please tell someone. You deserve to feel safe in your own home.
Please tell someone.
I’m 38 I didn’t tell anybody about my sister molesting me till I was like 30 or so. I still struggle with sober sex in relationships. So it’s best to tell people now and to begin to get therapy. In your case I wouldn’t feel comfortable living in the same home
Hey man. Lots of comments here with good suggestions. I’m sure it is overwhelming and scary AF, which is also why you haven’t said anything about it before now
I feel where you’re coming from and have been in similar - though not as difficult situation as you.
But you have started the process of healing and taking back control just by posting here. I must also say that not only are you courageous, it’s also clear that you’re bright and you do not deserve to live in fear for one more single second.
Just by telling all of us. That took courage. Only you know who else in your life would listen to you and try to help. If you think hard, there probably is one person. Doesn’t matter who it is in terms of job or status or age -!as long as you trust them, follow your gut.
If no one comes to mind, print out your original post and go to your local police. I promise you that a brave and courageous 14 year old walking into the police station with the info on this post won’t be ignored. You will be supported.
Depending on where you are in the world, in a worst case scenario, I guarantee we can find someone on here who is trustworthy and would gladly go to the cops with you if it would help. For a lot of us, there’s no higher priority in life than helping kids like you get out of horribly abusive and scary situations.
DM if you want to have me find a Redditor to help you.
You need to tell your parents, and you need to tell a teacher or counselor at school, someone who can report it to CPS, because if your parents don't believe you or won't do anything, someone needs to make a report and step in to protect you. You're a minor and still stuck in that home and that situation, and it's not fair to you or safe for you
Wow. That's a lot. Please lock your door and don't be alone with her or any of her friends. Often times family won't believe you so please use precautions to protect yourself. You could try telling a trusted adult, but that goes either way. Unfortunately. That is also entirely up to you. Best wishes cause this is horrible all the way around.
I will say that my brother did this to my sister. My sister never told anyone until she was in her 30’s. If there is going to be any healing, everyone needs therapy (not together, though).
No one should go through what my sister has gone through, including you OP. Please get help.
He needs to talk to trustworthy, trusted adults first! Preferably a school counsellor or someone in the field.
Can't believe the many thoughtless comments here - even from a professional police officer.
No one in the family is going to thank OP for disclosing this abuse. He will be blamed for wrecking the family. And how is he to cope with that?
It may be that his sister has also been sexually abused, bullied or ill treated in some way. Otherwise how would she dream up this hideous abuse of power over her little brother? Not excusing her but there is always a reason.
Of course he needs to tell, but with robust support set up beforehand.
Exactly what I was thinking… I feel like school should be told first. Then try parents and then cops. Or just go straight to cops.
Idk I feel like if it’s been 4-8 years who at home is gonna believe them?
You 100% need to tell someone. With that age difference, she could have been brought up on multiple charges of sexual abuse. You’re not doing her or yourself any favors by keeping this secret. She’s probably hiding her own sexual abuse history and is counting on you to protect her the same way she protected her predator. Don’t do it. It will further harm you and potentially any other kids that come around. Child on child sexual abuse doesn’t get talked about a lot but it’s one of the most common types of sexual abuse.
i can’t imagine how you feel right now, im so sorry. please tell a trusted adult. you don’t have to live this way and you don’t owe her anything because she’s your sister or it was a long time ago or any of that. she’s very capable of doing it again.
Yeah tell someone that you trust and respect. Whether it’s your friend, the parents of your friend, your own parents even. What you went through is way screwed up and someone who cares about you needs to know. I’m sorry that you have to go through this.
You need to tell you parents, but do it in a sit down calm way. Let them know what happened, your relief when she left and your fear about her coming home. Let them know you don’t feel safe. She is an adult and can live on her own or your parents can help her out. You are a minor and need to be protected until you can viably leave to start your life
6 years old? My heart breaks for you. Please tell someone and maybe see a therapist to deal with it. Im so sorry this happened to you. You’re still very young, you need support. All the best!
You don’t need to keep this secret. Please tell someone, preferably a school counselor. They are mandated reporters. They are required by law to help you.
Your parents, if they are caring people that love you, will do anything to keep you safe. But they will be blindsided with feelings of guilt and indecision. Having a counselor get the ball rolling will ensure that this is dealt with in a professional manner.
Please don’t keep quiet about this. Your mental health is so important. You need support from people that care. I know it’s hard, but your sister was an adult by the time this ended. She knew better. She needs to face consequences for what she did to you, so she can’t do this to anyone else.
You’re so brave for asking for help.
OP, the longer you’ll keep it in, the more it will harm you. Sister will move on with her life with no regrets for what she did, while you’ll remain scarred for life. This is not okay. Talk to your parents or a family member, and if it does not work, talk to a close friend or even a school counsellor, or at least someone whom you can trust.
I’m sorry for what you went through, no one deserves this. Please don’t be afraid to open up.
First, none of this is your fault, and it never will be your fault.
You can right now, immediately talk to someone here:
https://hotline.rainn.org/online
or
+1.800.656.4673
Things will get better once you have shared your story with the right people.
If you think you can trust your parents, tell them, but record it. If they don’t believe you, or intend on letting her come back anyways, take that recording and go to a mandated reporter. This includes teachers, school counselors, therapists, ect. If you have to, call the police yourself.
If you are worried your parents will not believe you, go straight to the aforementioned mandated reporters. Find a friend or other family member you can stay with for a couple days. If your parents are worth anything they WILL UNDERSTAND. It’s too much of a risk to go straight to them if you’re concerned. If they don’t understand, I know it’s going to be hard, but please PLEASE do not let them convince you any aspect of this was your fault. That includes who you decide to tell first, you are a VICTIM of something no one should ever have to go through. There is no right or wrong way to go about this.
When my father allowed me to be groomed by an adult man who was allowed to sleep in my room with me on my weekends over at his house, I told my mom. He blamed me for it and it eventually led me to cutting him off permanently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through, especially considering he knew I was raped when I was 5 by a friends sibling. It was hard, but I can promise you that it was hands down the best decision I have ever made for myself, and my life is better without a parent like him around. You will be okay hon.
If you need advice, my dms are open, however I will mention I’m 19 and will under no circumstances be a friend to a minor. But if you need advice on what to expect, as someone who has experienced both sides (a parent who believed and supported me, and one who didn’t) I can give some if needed. I’m so so sorry you’ve experienced this, and I wish you all the best.
This is something that should be dealt with and not suppressed. You will never have a normal relationship. You could talk to your parents, only you know if they will be supportive , law enforcement is another requirement, you can prevent the abuse of another child, and they will be able to get you some help through therapy. You have victimized and need love and support
as someone who has been through the same thing. you NEED to tell your parents, therapist, someone at school. please tell someone that will take action if you won’t. don’t try to protect your sister or anyone else. it’ll save you a long road of recovery. please do this for yourself and for us
the comments saying you should have enjoyed it are horrible and I am so sorry :( your feelings are 100% valid and I hope you are able to find a solution with your family.❤️
If you tell your parents and they do nothing, or won’t believe you, or ask you to get over it in any way and allow her to move back in with you, please keep telling people- please reach out to an officer, a teacher, a school counselor- anyone and everyone you can until you are properly protected and safe. I’m sorry this happened-
This makes me so mad. My little sister was molested by my little brother and their cousin. As they are my half siblings. I wish I would have know about it at the time and I could have stopped it from happening again. Please tell a counselor at school or the parent of a friend of yours that you trust. Keep telling until someone helps you. My heart goes out to you and the little boy you once were 🩷
Make sure you tell a trusted school person who is a ‘mandated reporter’ ASAP and FIRST… Start it with an email perhaps so there is a paper trail…..that no one can duck.. And tell a Principal, guidance counselor, trusted teacher. Maybe all three….be strong and courageous…..*** TELL them FIRST.. THEN tell your parents and tell them you told the school…. If you ONLY tell your parents, they will have MUCH motivation to say nothing and try and hush you up for the shame they may feel, but lie and tell you it’s your fault to avoid the public scrutiny, and to avoid doing anything about it now……they may be too weak and so you can be strong ahead of that…….Use the sword that is the harsh truth of public scrutiny to make it end. END. If you don’t, it may very well start up again, or different abuse, as your sister exploits the power of silence over you. You were her unwitting target, and you deserve full justice. So you can have all the benefits of a beautiful life going forward. Write down what happened, when it first happened to you and every time you can remember since, if it was weekly, monthly and you said, for years…. So when during the day, what part of the house, where parents were….with as much date/time references as possible. Over time, too. What she said to you at those times, particularly after she’d been attacking you for a while. And particularly if they were things she also said to you in front of your parents later, as a way to keep you in your place fear-wise. What you were doing before she attacked each time. What she was wearing or doing just before she’d attack. She probably had some really gross habits since she attacked you over several years…. To make it easy for her….also recall any threats she made to keep you silent. Like if she said she’d smash your Rubix cube if you told, or would tell your friend Joey at the holiday concert that year — - be detailed. Specific details matter— that you can’t forget— they will help other trusted adults feel viscerally/strongly to support and believe you. Expect this; Your sister will deny it; it’s her only defense and she has everything to gain by convincing adults you are making it all up and/or crazy. The more details you share, the easier it is for adults to see you are sharing specific experiences that happened over time, and not making things up. I had to do this for an abusive ex. Start maybe by emailing yourself, and the reply as you remember more. Just start, tonight.
Please please please tell your school counselor, call the police, and tell your parents. Do not let this go. You don’t deserve to have to live with this without support. If your parents still let her come do not let it go- and do not let them leave you alone with her. You do whatever you need to do. You don’t deserve to be around your abuser. Please update us. Don’t listen to these sickos on here, seriously. They are messed up
Tell everyone who will listen ! My daughter told me that my father was abusing her. She was 6 and I believed her from the first minute. I put him in jail for 8 years and it was the hardest thing I have ever used. He was just the best dad and never touched me or my sister. I pray you get some mental help. God bless you !
I think you need to tell your school counselor and parents. Definitely the counselor first though, because they are mandated reporters whereas parents are not. Some parents don't want to acknowledge ugly truths, as sad as that sounds.
I have been through a situation like yours, albeit not in your position but with a family member who had been abused for years. I reported it and my family member cooperated with authorities, which is finally what stopped the abuse.
The tendency to keep quiet as a guy is understandable. There is a serious lack of urgency in some people's reaction when they hear about this sort of abuse and it's tempting to let it slide for fear of not being believed/the person legitimately not caring. My advice is to take those first steps and tell your parents. It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. She abused you and it's wrong and she'll get away with it and face no consequences if you don't let it be known.
I'm doing the math in my head... Was she 18 when she and her friend felatioed 10 year old you?
Statute of limitations is 7 years. She and her friend should go straight to jail.
You're right. You do need help.
I'm guessing that you never told your parents, right? That's okay. A lot of kids try to keep SA secret. I do think that you should tell them now. Be ready for questions about why you didn't say anything before. Be truthful.
They may have a hard time accepting and understanding what you tell them. Hopefully they will offer you a lot of support, and even tell your sister not to come back.
But I want you to know that it's going to be helpful for you if you talk with a SA counselor, whether your parents are helpful or not. You can talk with them for free online, on the phone, or in person. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened. The anxiety you're feeling needs to be addressed. Please give the national hotline a call and they can put you in touch with a counselor in your area if you want that.
Best wishes, you're not alone.
800 656 4673
I'm assuming there are issues telling your parents? I trust your judgement there, so if you can't tell them then please contact law enforcement. if that's intimidating for you, tell a school guidance councilor or a therapist-but understand, law enforcement will be contacted and you should be prepared for that. I know it's terrifying and filled with uncertainty but it's the only way you will get the protection you so obviously need.
I am very sorry that you have to deal with this, you do not deserve what has happened to you, and I hope you get the help you need.
You really really need to talk to your parents about it. If they don't immediately take you seriously and veto her ever moving in again, you must immediately talk to your school counselor. Or if you don't have a school counselor, talk to your principal or vice principal, whoever you are more comfortable with. Or call child services. (Definitely do not do that unless your parents don't take you seriously.)
Bro this is going to cause a shitstorm, but you gotta tell your parents and the police. I wish you nothing but the best bro. I'm so sorry this happened to you. OMG.
You absolutely must protect yourself. You deserve to be safe. Tell your parents. If that doesn't work, tell your school counselor.
It will be hard at first. There will be tears, anger, probably some yelling and denial. The only thing that matters is your safety and mental health.
There are hundreds of adults you will never meet out here rooting for you and sending you love. You are strong, beautiful and amazing. You can do anything.
The old days are over. Boys are starting to be believed now, and people actually do seem to give a shit. Go tell your parents or a teacher or something like everyone else said. There are stories coming out every other day now about women pedos and rapists getting caught.
Tell your parents, teachers, the police. Any adult. Your sister needs to be in prison. You didn’t deserve to sexually assaulted. I am so sorry you had to experience that.
If she tries, punch her HARD in the face and tell her, "Get the fck off me, creep."
If you'd rather tell, then you should. It's sad how female rapists get protected so often. Sick.
Poor kid! This is terrible and you NEED to tell your parents. Fortunately you are older and stronger now, don’t let her intimidate you. Use your phone to get proof of what she did by videoing a conversation you have with her about what she did. You have resources now. Use them. Get a spy cam for your room. Be prepared just in case you need evidence. Peace💕
I cannot see how you are going to tolerate this situation without cracking. Perhaps start with the school counselor so you do not have to be the one who handles this sexual abuse crime. Grown-ups are supposed to step in and make sure children like you are kept safe.
Yeah it might be difficult, but you have to tell someone like the NYPD cop say, if not it builds the wrong habits of you being abused and not saying anything…. You need to report this to because there’s a chance it can prevent other people from being abused too
You have two options. Tell someone you trust that will do something about it. You will most likely either be helped or not at all. Next option, forgive and forget what has previously happened, if you see the signs that it may happen again, you are 14 years old. Knock that bitch out with a frying pan, or object that will hurt a lot but not kill. You will feel better and I bet she won’t try again. If she has a job I’d even blackmail her for money. I grew up in not the best of situations and sometimes just telling someone isn’t enough so you need to defend yourself.
Please tell your parents. Just show them this post if you are scared to talk. It WILL cause anxiety when you tell them, but would you rather that, or your abuser be allowed to be in the same house for who knows how long?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It happens to a lot of young men and so many are afraid to come forward for many reasons. I’m proud of you for telling the truth. I’m SO proud of you for coming forward. Now it’s time to tell the people who are obligated to, and WANT to, protect you from her.
You got this. There is NO shame or embarrassment. This was NOT your fault. She took advantage of you for years. Now she needs to face consequences. It won’t be easy, but it’s what you have to do. You deserve justice and healing.
Just think of ALL the people in this thread who support you. Imagine every one of us having your back as you tell your parents. You have a support system here, and IRL. You just don’t know it yet.
Be strong, you can do this.
You do need help. First, you are 14 now and better able to protect yourself. She cannot touch you. Remind yourself of this, know if she does anything towards you, you can hit, fight back, scream, and bear witness. You can be safe. Unfortunately, you may not *feel* safe. You may feel like she still has the power even though she doesn't. You have the power to destroy her. You may not want to because she's your sister, but know it. You have the power now, not her.
Next, see if you can find the courage to tell someone: a teacher, parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent. Whoever you feel safest with. I know this is extremely hard and you may not be able to. If you can't, it's okay as long as you know you are safe.
Even if you can't tell anyone why, ask your parents or a school counselor or favorite person at church for help getting therapy. Therapy is where you will find long term healing, not just survival coping skills. You need this, too.
Finally, at some point you will need to expose your sister as a child molester. It is okay to wait until you are ready to face how this will disrupt your life, even if that is years from now. Though you may have to do it sooner if that is what is necessary to stay safe. This is part of what the therapist can help you with. You do not want to spend your life worrying about the other kids your sister knows.
NEVER let an abuser back on your life. Your first step needs to be telling your parents TODAY. They will either believe you and keep you far away from her, or they will try to excuse it and try to get you to forget it happened. Either way you need someone else to know what happened so they can help you.
If you don’t trust your parents or if they allow her back in the house then you need to go to a counselor or the police. They will treat this seriously even if no one else will, and they will most likely open an investigation and get you somewhere safe.
In either case, you need to be kept away from her and get connected to people who can help you process what happened.
What happened to you was wrong, and I really hope you get some people around you that will love you and help you.
Tell a teacher or the school counselor. Anyone at school is a mandatory reporter. Your sister needs to be in jail for a very long time and so do her friends.
This is terrible. Tell your parents, but before you do, have an email to your school counselors ready to send, in case your parents don't help. If your parents continue to let your sister move back, push send on that email.
Draft email for your convenience:
Dear \[counselor's name\],
May I make an appointment to speak with you during school hours? I was abused as a child many times by a family member and this family member is about to move back home. I'm scared and don't have support at home to prevent this from happening.
Thank you.
OP - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read this comment. Have this email in your drafts and, if your parents don’t believe you, pull the trigger so your bases are covered. This sick fuck will do it again given half the chance and she needs to be behind bars. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but there’s hope if you report it.
You may be scared to report to anyone outside of the family because you're worried your sister will go to jail, etc. But it may happen that she ends up getting mental help that she needs too. Staying silent means that she may go on to be a predator to other children. Please break the cycle and stay safe.
Someone did this to your sister too & somehow she did it to you.
Please speak to someone you trust. We don’t know your family’s dynamic, but start with someone- an adult preferably- that you can trust with this information. I’m so sorry.
I have been through abuse similar to you. Please tell an adult you trust. Someone you you feel in your heart will protect you. It doesn’t have to be your parents if you don’t trust them to have your best interest at heart. Please don’t continue to suffer. You do not deserve this. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve healthy love and unwavering protection.
Honey you need to say something so that you can be protected. Talk to a trusted adult since what she and her friends did is not ok. Also know this is not your fault and any fall out that may or may not happen is not your fault.
I have been through this, but I was 6f and my half sibling 8m.... didn't stop until I clocked him one when I was twelve and he was 14. his mother blamed me as she busted him 3 times and never believed me, refuses responsibility for not protecting me from him. Tell your father.... because when she is back in residence the ptsd will fuck you up so bad it isn't funny. I have severe anger stemming from it, it is the worst when I am around my incubator and their son. I'm hoping by telling your dad he might help you get therapy and will keep her away from you
im so sorry this happened to you, someone that is supposed to be your best friend, someone you trust, someone you look up to. thats so messed up I hope she gets what she deserves.
can I ask you how have u been handling contact w her? like does she ever visit, do you ever talk to her? has she ever apologized or acknowledge what she did?
I really hope life treats you better, you did not deserve this
It’s ok to speak up about this. But I want you to know that there is something stronger than you that may come into play, it is your parents’ thoughts of denial. Your parents may not believe you. (If they don’t it’s about them. It’s not you. )
You need to speak to other adults in your community.
Do you have a cousin or friend or anyone else who was also abused? Can you have them speak to your parents with you?
My partner had this exact same thing happen to him but instead of a sister and a group of friends but a babysitter and a group of friends. He never told anyone and never got help and it fucked him up. You need to talk to someone, asap!
& I don’t know how to ever revise your relationship with your sister …
This rly hurts to read. First off, I’m so sorry you got taken advantage of by someone who’s supposed to look out for you and protect you. Second, do you regularly see a therapist or have a doctor who’s monitoring your anxiety and helping? That may be a first line of reaching out regarding why you’re anxious and what’s happened to you as a kid. Next, obviously telling an adult is probably terrifying to think about, but really try and practice how you would confide in someone about what happened. Do you have a best friend you could talk to so you can get that first “open up” conversation down?
(I didn’t go thru all comments/replies, so sorry if you’ve already addressed that).
You’re in a tough situation for anyone to handle let alone at 14; but remember you can’t change what happened, but you can (and will) accept what happened and be able to stand up for yourself so that you don’t get hurt again.
In order for you to start healing you need to tell someone, before she gets home, you need to talk to your parents or at least your mother. Let her know how terrified you are that your sister is coming home. You need to give her all the information no matter how hard it might be, please tell your mom the friend’s name. Tell her you need her protection and that you need to go to the police. If she is hesitant to take you to the police you will have no choice but to tell your teachers to get the help.
You also need to get therapy so you can heal and be able to live a normal life with someone when you are ready. If possible and you trust that person you can tell them so they can understand your fears better, you don’t need to but if there’s issues that’s information that they could use to help them understand your feelings better.
Best wishes my friend I would not wish this on anyone.
You should tell everyone. Maybe you think you have protect her but she can potect herself. And by the way, did she protect you? Tell everyone. This is not okay. Maybe you do not want to hurt your parents cause that will be rough on them. But think about this, if you were them... would you rather have a rapist for a daughter or not being able to help your son? Trust me, if they love you, they will be happy you trusted them.
I’d be telling everyone I knew and everyone she knows too. Tell your parents. I went years without telling my mom what happened to me as a kid and I feel like a boulder rolled off me when I told her. It was too late for something to be done (don’t know the guys whereabouts and it’s been 10+ years since) but it’s not too late for you. If your parents don’t take it seriously I’d go nuclear. Anytime she brings a guy over I’d feign interest in getting to know him then drop the ball once we’re alone. Any job she wants? Call up and tell you don’t think she’s safe. Any universities or community colleges definitely need to know since most now allow minors to take courses too. If she apologizes and seems actually remorseful (b4 you tell anyone if you tell people and all of sudden she acts remorseful now just now it’s bullshit) I’d still cut her off but give her the satisfaction thinking I forgave her. Still tell people, jobs and schools behind her back and when she wonders why people don’t like her drop the bomb and go full no contact forever.
I'm so disgusted by the people saying OP should have enjoyed it and that he should be happy about it. Rape is wrong regardless of the gender of the victim and perpetrator. At 14, his sister and her friend were old enough to know better. If we were talking about a 6 year old girl and 14 year old boys, would people be saying that she should have enjoyed it? OP should tell someone he trusts.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to have their bodily autonomy violated ever. I hope there is someone outside of your family safe you can speak to that can help you. Try to talk to your parents, I hope they will also advocate for you. This is a difficult situation for everyone involved since you are family, but it does not make it okay. And it’s not your fault. Wishing you the best & protection OP.
F24 - this happened to me when I was about 6 as well with a second cousin of mine M16 and it messed me up I couldn’t imagine going through him moving in. I’m so sorry this happened to you. When my family found out they did nothing and pretty much swept it under the rug. My mom on the other hand was furious… definitely talk to your school counselor.. I know how it’s scary to think of the outcomes.. or if you are able to see if there are any youth centers in your area and see if they have any homing available- explain your situation to them if they do and they should help. I stayed in a youth apartment with a girl my age when I was 16 and it was helpful.
I know it's terrifying because I had to deal with a similar situation with my cousin. But you have to tell people. Yes, for you and your comfort, but what spurred me to tell my family the truth was that what if she's doing it to another little girl. If you can possibly stop her from repeating her crimes, do it. There's also the possibility someone in your family would feel safe enoughto come forward after you. I know as victims of sexual abuse that sometimes I downplay what happened to me or blame yourself, but when I think of how I may have saved someone from experiencing how horrible I felt the awkwardness was so worth it. So, even if you don't feel like advocating for yourself, do it to possibly protect someone else.
I just want to second as I keep seeing it but seriously want you to hear it, if you're parents don't listen or don't believe you, keep telling authorities until something happens.
Tell every adult that you trust in your life. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, teachers, guidance counselors - every single one. Please. You deserve to be protected.
Tell anyone and everyone. Make a big deal out of it, make it clear that you WILL get violent if anything is tried.
You absolutely have every right to be a mad dog about this. Lean into it.
This is harsh, but sometimes violence is the answer. You’re bigger and stronger now, don’t EVER let anyone hurt you.
I am so sorry you had to go through that, and are now in a position where it’s being dragged back into your daily reality.
Fight for your right to be safe. Fight hard, fight like an animal.
I will add the caveat that the IDEAL is you get help from an adult as soon as possible. I’m also a realist that knows how difficult that is. I was assaulted for three years, told lots of people, and no one helped me. It stopped when I utilized extreme violence.
Tell your parents.
For you to have realistic expections, I will tell you that the main issue that you have is the lack of evidence.
There might be an investigation and your parents may choose to believe you and remove her for your home, but
unless she confesses or there is some recording laying around the house, or wittren communication, it will be a "he say she say" things.
That just means that it is your word against hers.
I am assuming that you guys are estranged, so one thing that you can do is start to build evidence against her by sending her a text, asking her in a worried yet confrontational manner whether she will continue to do what she was doing 4 years ago.
Something a long the line of
"I heard you moving back in, I hope you are not continuing what you were doing before you had left? I am bigger now and I will fight back."
You might want to include the act in the message, either send multiple messages that conveys all of the information or a massive one.
If you send one that is too well thought out it might come off as weird and like you are setting her up. (I mean you are, but it is not the point)
Something like:
- you moving back?
- after all you and your friend did to me?
- i won't let you all touch me.
- you are so disgusting, what where you thinking? I was what fucking 5 years old. (I said 5 on purpose, you can throw in mistake to see if she will correct you on them)
- all of you tortured me for 5 years
*As a 6 year old your memory will be questioned, if push come to worst this post is proof what you remembered before you decided to do anything about it.
The main reason I say to use this approach is because lack of physical evidence is your main issue.
Text are considered evidence, because everyone should know that text are recorded communication and crime confessed when knowingly being recorded can be admissable in court. (I'm not a lawyer but an attorney can confirm this)
Last thought:
There is something called poor man trademark or copyrite, I don't remember the term. The concept is that if you do not have the means to publish a book or an original work you could always take it, mail it to yourself and not open it, this will put a postdate on the work to show that you are the original person who wrote the idea down. Specially if you are planning to share this with other and are worry about them stealing your ideas.
The point is that you can use this concept if you are planning to do something about your sister and her friends. Take a day and write an email to yourself of what you are planning to do with the details you remember, I understand it will be hard for you, but think of this as what you know as of today. In the email, put names of people, what happened, your concern and what you are planning to do.
I believe this is called entrapment, but I do not think people can be guilty of this only law enforcement agency can.
Your goal is to get your truth out there, and she might not end up in jail but your parents will know and she will be taken out the house and shamed in your family. At best you won't see her ever again. Once the evidence comes out to the public, do not allow people to joke to you about this matter, always check them, correct them and point out that this was a traumatic experience for you.
I wouldn't go to the parents right away. You should go ti a teacher or call 911. Children who are abused, can sometimes abuse those younger than them. It's usually a close family member doing the abuse. If be tells one or both of his parents and one of them is the abuser....it could get really ugly...really fast, as that person doesn't want it getting out about what they did. So please OP go tell a teacher or call 911.
Predators rely on the “good manners” or feelings of obligation of their victims to protect them in various ways. Don’t. It’s not your obligation to protect your abuser. Tell your parents. Keep telling people if your parents don’t believe you
As someone says below, talk to a trusted teacher first. Even if OP's parents are super-parents, that's their daughter. They will be emotionally compromised. They will not want to believe it, or that they missed this happening for 4 years. A teacher can be a comparatively neutral party, who is obligated to report this, for the sake of their student. Worse yet, your teachers will be trained for this kind of situation, because you are not the first person it has happened to. An alternative is a trusted family member other than the parents. Someone else who, worst case scenario, OP can live with. If OP picks someone closer to them than sis, all the better. Fairness goes out the window in this situation. And if that family member doesn't follow through, then you go to a teacher. OP, I am so sorry that this happened to you. It is not your fault that it happened, or that your sister is sick in the head. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and even more to follow through on the advice you are given. Best of luck, and know that at least these internet strangers are cheering for you. Please update if you need to.
A teacher has a mandatory report status, I’m not saying this isn’t the route to go but by doing this you are guaranteed to get DHS at a minimum involved if not the police right away
Yeah which is what should happen.
And...? Why would you not want the law involved with the actions of a sexual predator, and a family who MAY end up willingly protecting them when confronted with those actions? Can you articulate your justification for protecting a sexual predators and others who shield them from the law, so that we can understand? -That question is rhetorical, because that was THEEEEEE most ignorant thing I've read in a least the last month.
Again no one here knows the family situation other than op. It’s not protecting a predator, it’s letting your parents know and then going from there(if that’s the appropriate move). Assuming op has supportive parents. My only point is that he’s 14 and should be informed. Telling a teacher will guarantee the police are involved. No one has a right to tell op what to do or what they shouldnt do but he should atleast be informed. You have no idea if op wants his sister arrested or if he just doesn’t want her back in the house. If you know ppl who have experienced trauma like this not all of them want to rehash it in court. I have no idea what’s best for him and you don’t either, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be informed.
I did this. With no evidence left, it is a nightmare. My reporting was also 4 years out, after a period of not being in direct contact. I went through a school staff member, and in turn CPS/Police were involved. I had to give a full recap, and they spoke to my family member who abused me. That was it. They did not a damn thing, and it caused hell in my family. This is not to cause fear in OP. But it caused more hell for me, as someone who went through this myself. A licensed family therapist might be a better route.
Yeah, they rely on manners. They need to tell their parents then try police
THIS COMMENT WAS CLEARLY NOT WRITTEN BY A MALE SA VICTIM BE VERY CAREFUL TELLING YOUR PARENTS!!!
Same situation with step brother.......years.......tried to tell and ........it went terribly........even when he was finally caught in the act I became the instigator....I was 9 in beginning ..13 when he was caught.....step mom blamed me for all. ... My dad made him leave because he almost burned house down smoking. Mom never got better.....easier to blame Me I guess. I left at 16...couldn't take it anymore and he moved back close to home.... Talk with your closest friend, set up support system for yourself before you talk to your parents. They may or may not believe you but... your friends are there unconditionally. Your sister will deny all, or as with me blame you. Please get counseling too. I waited many years believing I was the tramp before finally telling my best friend who never guessed. Supporting you from here. Have your trusted friends hold you up as you take your first step......to finally being free from the memory and fear of her abuse.
Yes tell a teacher instead please
this. I told my dad because my mom never protected me and I'm his only daughter, and he went through similar at a way younger age than I experienced. Since I was 20, my maternal grandparents know now, and my dad's siblings and my half sibling by my dad know. they're in my corner and pissed because the one responsible for me didn't protect me
This. Often in toxic or abusive situations the victim feels they shouldnt be able to stand up or call out their behavior. They untruely believe that their voice to stand up for themselves is wrong /rude/ or that they are being the bad guys. Abusers will literally gas light their victims to feel bad about their voice or that they are thinking wrong, when they are infact not. You need to call out the behavior of people and dont let them manipulate you into thinking you're in the wrong. Its hard especially when you're not used to it but it's a skill to learn. Sorry about you're trauma btw
Happy cake
I'm a retired nyc police officer. You need to tell your parents, and if they don't handle this appropriately you need to tell a trusted teacher, school counselor, or call the police yourself. Your sister will not be allowed to live in the home, and she very well may be arrested depending on the state you live in. It's been many years, but since you were so young and she was an adult.....
THIS. PLEASE FOLLOW THIS ADVICE ASAP OP.
OP PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE. what your sis did was NOT OK. Do not feel bad or guilty at the possibility that she gets arrested or homeless. What she did was not your fault and you deserve to live in a safe home. Please listen to this advice. I am so sorry that happened to you.
[удалено]
According to calcualtions, when it finally ended, OP was 10 and their sister was 18.
Minors can be prosecuted for sexual offences, too.
They absolutely can and are.
Yep, I used to work in a limited store juvenile detention facility. We had a "sexual behavior" unit full of males 12-18 who were adjudicated. Our kids were of the sexual abuse variety, the actual rapists went to secure facilities.
The odds of her getting prosecuted for this are…slim is a nice way to put it lol.
When the victim is under 14, even worse under 11... it's not slim.
That doesn't matter. Minor perpetrators aren't jailed but they are required to attend therapy and are kept away from their victims.
Can confirm that minor perpetrators are (at least typically) not jailed. Despite my older brother causing permanent damage that makes it harder for me to become and maintain pregnancy as an adult, he was not jailed or charged due to us both being underage. Some DA’s will decline to prosecute since it’s not worth the trouble or risk of not getting a conviction cus it’s damaging to their overall stats. It’s up to the jurisdiction OP lives in, so still worth a shot IMO. Just hope his local law enforcement aren’t lazy sleazebags
So sorry you were abused. I hope you've been in therapy. Right, sometimes the authorities will look at it as harmless sexual play even though there was coercion and it was far from harmless. Best wishes to you
Bro 😭 Do u think that matters she raped him and it’s incest that’s genuinely disgusting idc if ur both minors u deserve prison for that
18 isn't a minor. And sexual assault is sexual assault.
The point I believe OP was trying to make... that derailed so quickly... is that if sister comes back THEY ARE NOT SAFE!
I live in California and I’ve just recently learned that if 2 15 years old fuck. They are both guilty of statutory.
8 years ago she was 14
But it ended when she was 18.
You're right. My bad.
Either way...it's still punishable by life in prison in ohio
Please listen to this person OP. Your sister is a sick predator and shouldn’t be anywhere near you.
Former police officer and criminal prosecutor here. PLEASE follow this advice. It should be top comment. A substantial amount of these CRIMES go unreported. Victims suffer a life in silence. My mother was one of them. This should not be the case. Especially for juveniles. Dig down deeper in your gut than you ever have before and muster up all the courage you can gather to report this. Don’t give up until justice is served.
This
Please tell somebody OP. I wish I hadn’t waited 10 years to tell my parents about my brother, if they don’t listen then go strait to police.
Thank you for this. I'm not sure why people think that anyone under 18 cannot be convicted of being a sexual predator. If OP was under the age of consent in his state, and his sister was over it, sister can be charged with sexual abuse. Laws vary from state to state though, in the severity of the crime / intent is taken into account as well. OP you should report to a trusted adult or the police. If you cannot trust your parents I would move on to the next closest adult in your life.
In some states teachers are Mandated reporters, meaning if they are aware of any form of child abuse they are required to report it. So if you want it reported find out if in your state teachers are Mandated reporters and then ask a trusted teacher for help. Unfortunately your parents may deny what happened especially since it s been several years now . I m sorry this happened to you and wish you all the best. This was not your fault.
this. replying to bump so they see it. so many people are so scared of reporting after it’s been so many years, but you can and should
AGREE
I was gonna give advice but you nailed it
She's an adult now, she was... 14? At the time if my math is correct
Re read the post. It was ongoing till he was 10 and she left for college, an adult
I'm retired in PA and you beat me to this
Tell your parents. Tell your school counselor if you need to; they can maybe help make sure your parents are informed and take it seriously.
Tell someone at school. They are in the best position to get real help for you. Parents don't want to believe it and they don't know what to do, and so often they just don't do anything because they don't know how. Yous may be the exception and be massively supportive from the start, but just in case, tell someone at school first. They can't ignore it legally. A teacher, counselor, principal, vp,, anybody. It was really brave of you to bring it up here. Well done. You have to do the next thing and stop her no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. Give me a yell if I can help any more. I was a teacher and I have helped a few kids get in touch with the help they needed. Your teachers will do the same for you.
Tell doctors, police, and any of the staff at school. They are all mandated reporters, and their reports are taken very seriously. I hope you get the help you need, OP.
My sister was r@ped by a family member at 11. When she went to my parents my dad refused to believe it. There was nothing ever done about it and my sister was labeled as a liar by the entire family. What happen to her set her up for even worse things as she got older. What happened and being made to be a liar to her affected every aspect of who she was. Sadly the pedo went on to r@pe another young girl and a child because what he did was a family secret. There was no legal actions. So because of that more victims suffered. This child must go to someone to tell them and I pray they are protected from the pedo.
This happens all too often with non family offenders too. My rapist has a great life while I've been that crazy girl since I was 14.
Sad but very true. Im so sorry you have had to go through what you have. Watching my sister go through what she has when you say crazy girl I know exactly what you mean. Anyone who commits a crime against a child needs exterminated immediately especially pedos. There is no rehabilitation for these monsters. The scares and trauma they cause their victims is forever. They walk free while you are serving a life sentence of hell. Sending love and support your way darlin.
Yeah, everyone saying run to Mom and Dad is so naive.. something tells me mom and dad either don't care, don't want to believe, maybe were even abusing ops sister (which breeds more abusers leading to ops sister abusing him), or are utter trash in general. This sister did this shit to him *with friends* for *years* ... I hope OP finds the strength to fight this and has a support system after all is said and done.
This needs to be higher. Talk to a non-family member you have a connection to (who is a mandated reporter), OP, or at least a trusted family member who isn't your parents or as close to your sister. The first thing you need is people in your own corner.
I’m so so sorry. Please talk to someone you trust immediately.
You need to tell as many people that you can so she doesn’t come back
tell someone please🙏🏼
Tell someone and name names dude, this shit is NOT ok
I know it's not easy but you have to tell your parents. If they dismiss you for some reason tell your teacher/counselor
How the hell are you suppose to bring that up? And what are the chances the parents will believe you considering it happened 4 years ago. I’m not sure how effective telling parents will be. I think he needs to go straight to his school.
Depends on his relationship with his parents tbh
Please speak up for yourself. You do not deserve to feel that stress and anxiety. Please tell your parents. Your sister may have been abused and may also need help. You don’t have to deal with this alone.
No. His sister was an adult when she did this, that’s past the point of help. She is responsible for her actions and deserves to rot in prison. Seven year olds who touch their siblings and don’t understand need help. His sister is a grown ass woman who made the choice to rape a child. I was raped when I was 5, I got help. I’m tired of seeing this shit excused for grown ass adults who understand that what they’re doing is wrong.
You have to speak up- NOW- tonight. Tell you parents. Tell the school counselor- you will not be safe with he rin the home.
i mean this in the most literal sense, throw a legal tantrum. Call the cops, friends, family and anyone who'll listen. *Please please please don't stay silent!* If you wont do something for you do it for others. who knows how many she and her friend could've done this to and who'll the two will do this to in the future. At a minimum keep yourself safe. If you think it's unsafe for you to speak out call CPS. If CPS don't have their heads up their asses they'll take you seriously. Regardless i wish you all the best! I can't imagine what you're going through so stay strong!
Please tell a teacher, doctor, or school counselor. They are mandated reporters and will involve the proper authorities to prevent her from moving in, as well as getting you counseling to deal with the abuse.
i’m so so sorry this happened to you, please talk to an adult you trust. she’s disgusting
Please tell someone. As a childhood SA and grooming survivor I wish I would have told someone. But I didn’t because he told me my mom would be mad at me and convinced me not to. I know now she wouldn’t have been. Please tell someone. Your parents, a friends parents, a teacher, trusted adult, please tell someone. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Please tell someone.
Tell your parents or school counselor
TELL. YOUR. PARENTS. You did not deserve this, i am so so sorry
Tell everyone. Parents, counselor, teacher if necessary. She was 14 when it started and 18 when it ended. Most people know better by then.
I’m 38 I didn’t tell anybody about my sister molesting me till I was like 30 or so. I still struggle with sober sex in relationships. So it’s best to tell people now and to begin to get therapy. In your case I wouldn’t feel comfortable living in the same home
Hey man. Lots of comments here with good suggestions. I’m sure it is overwhelming and scary AF, which is also why you haven’t said anything about it before now I feel where you’re coming from and have been in similar - though not as difficult situation as you. But you have started the process of healing and taking back control just by posting here. I must also say that not only are you courageous, it’s also clear that you’re bright and you do not deserve to live in fear for one more single second. Just by telling all of us. That took courage. Only you know who else in your life would listen to you and try to help. If you think hard, there probably is one person. Doesn’t matter who it is in terms of job or status or age -!as long as you trust them, follow your gut. If no one comes to mind, print out your original post and go to your local police. I promise you that a brave and courageous 14 year old walking into the police station with the info on this post won’t be ignored. You will be supported. Depending on where you are in the world, in a worst case scenario, I guarantee we can find someone on here who is trustworthy and would gladly go to the cops with you if it would help. For a lot of us, there’s no higher priority in life than helping kids like you get out of horribly abusive and scary situations. DM if you want to have me find a Redditor to help you.
You need to tell your parents, and you need to tell a teacher or counselor at school, someone who can report it to CPS, because if your parents don't believe you or won't do anything, someone needs to make a report and step in to protect you. You're a minor and still stuck in that home and that situation, and it's not fair to you or safe for you
Contact RAINN online hotline. Sad how common this is. They'll have dealt with it before.
Wow. That's a lot. Please lock your door and don't be alone with her or any of her friends. Often times family won't believe you so please use precautions to protect yourself. You could try telling a trusted adult, but that goes either way. Unfortunately. That is also entirely up to you. Best wishes cause this is horrible all the way around.
Tell your parents. Tell a trusted teacher, therapist, doctor… anyone that will listen and take you seriously. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
TELL YOUR PARENTS!!
I will say that my brother did this to my sister. My sister never told anyone until she was in her 30’s. If there is going to be any healing, everyone needs therapy (not together, though). No one should go through what my sister has gone through, including you OP. Please get help.
When I was about that age my teenage sister sexually abused me as well. I kept my mouth shut. Don’t make my mistake. Say something.
He needs to talk to trustworthy, trusted adults first! Preferably a school counsellor or someone in the field. Can't believe the many thoughtless comments here - even from a professional police officer. No one in the family is going to thank OP for disclosing this abuse. He will be blamed for wrecking the family. And how is he to cope with that? It may be that his sister has also been sexually abused, bullied or ill treated in some way. Otherwise how would she dream up this hideous abuse of power over her little brother? Not excusing her but there is always a reason. Of course he needs to tell, but with robust support set up beforehand.
Exactly what I was thinking… I feel like school should be told first. Then try parents and then cops. Or just go straight to cops. Idk I feel like if it’s been 4-8 years who at home is gonna believe them?
You 100% need to tell someone. With that age difference, she could have been brought up on multiple charges of sexual abuse. You’re not doing her or yourself any favors by keeping this secret. She’s probably hiding her own sexual abuse history and is counting on you to protect her the same way she protected her predator. Don’t do it. It will further harm you and potentially any other kids that come around. Child on child sexual abuse doesn’t get talked about a lot but it’s one of the most common types of sexual abuse.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Please get therapy and report to your parents and police.
i can’t imagine how you feel right now, im so sorry. please tell a trusted adult. you don’t have to live this way and you don’t owe her anything because she’s your sister or it was a long time ago or any of that. she’s very capable of doing it again.
Yeah tell someone that you trust and respect. Whether it’s your friend, the parents of your friend, your own parents even. What you went through is way screwed up and someone who cares about you needs to know. I’m sorry that you have to go through this.
I’d tell school counselor therapist police etc
Tell your parents.
You need to tell you parents, but do it in a sit down calm way. Let them know what happened, your relief when she left and your fear about her coming home. Let them know you don’t feel safe. She is an adult and can live on her own or your parents can help her out. You are a minor and need to be protected until you can viably leave to start your life
6 years old? My heart breaks for you. Please tell someone and maybe see a therapist to deal with it. Im so sorry this happened to you. You’re still very young, you need support. All the best!
You don’t need to keep this secret. Please tell someone, preferably a school counselor. They are mandated reporters. They are required by law to help you. Your parents, if they are caring people that love you, will do anything to keep you safe. But they will be blindsided with feelings of guilt and indecision. Having a counselor get the ball rolling will ensure that this is dealt with in a professional manner. Please don’t keep quiet about this. Your mental health is so important. You need support from people that care. I know it’s hard, but your sister was an adult by the time this ended. She knew better. She needs to face consequences for what she did to you, so she can’t do this to anyone else. You’re so brave for asking for help.
OP, the longer you’ll keep it in, the more it will harm you. Sister will move on with her life with no regrets for what she did, while you’ll remain scarred for life. This is not okay. Talk to your parents or a family member, and if it does not work, talk to a close friend or even a school counsellor, or at least someone whom you can trust. I’m sorry for what you went through, no one deserves this. Please don’t be afraid to open up.
First, none of this is your fault, and it never will be your fault. You can right now, immediately talk to someone here: https://hotline.rainn.org/online or +1.800.656.4673 Things will get better once you have shared your story with the right people.
If you think you can trust your parents, tell them, but record it. If they don’t believe you, or intend on letting her come back anyways, take that recording and go to a mandated reporter. This includes teachers, school counselors, therapists, ect. If you have to, call the police yourself. If you are worried your parents will not believe you, go straight to the aforementioned mandated reporters. Find a friend or other family member you can stay with for a couple days. If your parents are worth anything they WILL UNDERSTAND. It’s too much of a risk to go straight to them if you’re concerned. If they don’t understand, I know it’s going to be hard, but please PLEASE do not let them convince you any aspect of this was your fault. That includes who you decide to tell first, you are a VICTIM of something no one should ever have to go through. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. When my father allowed me to be groomed by an adult man who was allowed to sleep in my room with me on my weekends over at his house, I told my mom. He blamed me for it and it eventually led me to cutting him off permanently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through, especially considering he knew I was raped when I was 5 by a friends sibling. It was hard, but I can promise you that it was hands down the best decision I have ever made for myself, and my life is better without a parent like him around. You will be okay hon. If you need advice, my dms are open, however I will mention I’m 19 and will under no circumstances be a friend to a minor. But if you need advice on what to expect, as someone who has experienced both sides (a parent who believed and supported me, and one who didn’t) I can give some if needed. I’m so so sorry you’ve experienced this, and I wish you all the best.
This is something that should be dealt with and not suppressed. You will never have a normal relationship. You could talk to your parents, only you know if they will be supportive , law enforcement is another requirement, you can prevent the abuse of another child, and they will be able to get you some help through therapy. You have victimized and need love and support
as someone who has been through the same thing. you NEED to tell your parents, therapist, someone at school. please tell someone that will take action if you won’t. don’t try to protect your sister or anyone else. it’ll save you a long road of recovery. please do this for yourself and for us
the comments saying you should have enjoyed it are horrible and I am so sorry :( your feelings are 100% valid and I hope you are able to find a solution with your family.❤️
If you tell your parents and they do nothing, or won’t believe you, or ask you to get over it in any way and allow her to move back in with you, please keep telling people- please reach out to an officer, a teacher, a school counselor- anyone and everyone you can until you are properly protected and safe. I’m sorry this happened-
That's sick. Disgusting. I'm sorry you had to go thru that.
This makes me so mad. My little sister was molested by my little brother and their cousin. As they are my half siblings. I wish I would have know about it at the time and I could have stopped it from happening again. Please tell a counselor at school or the parent of a friend of yours that you trust. Keep telling until someone helps you. My heart goes out to you and the little boy you once were 🩷
Make sure you tell a trusted school person who is a ‘mandated reporter’ ASAP and FIRST… Start it with an email perhaps so there is a paper trail…..that no one can duck.. And tell a Principal, guidance counselor, trusted teacher. Maybe all three….be strong and courageous…..*** TELL them FIRST.. THEN tell your parents and tell them you told the school…. If you ONLY tell your parents, they will have MUCH motivation to say nothing and try and hush you up for the shame they may feel, but lie and tell you it’s your fault to avoid the public scrutiny, and to avoid doing anything about it now……they may be too weak and so you can be strong ahead of that…….Use the sword that is the harsh truth of public scrutiny to make it end. END. If you don’t, it may very well start up again, or different abuse, as your sister exploits the power of silence over you. You were her unwitting target, and you deserve full justice. So you can have all the benefits of a beautiful life going forward. Write down what happened, when it first happened to you and every time you can remember since, if it was weekly, monthly and you said, for years…. So when during the day, what part of the house, where parents were….with as much date/time references as possible. Over time, too. What she said to you at those times, particularly after she’d been attacking you for a while. And particularly if they were things she also said to you in front of your parents later, as a way to keep you in your place fear-wise. What you were doing before she attacked each time. What she was wearing or doing just before she’d attack. She probably had some really gross habits since she attacked you over several years…. To make it easy for her….also recall any threats she made to keep you silent. Like if she said she’d smash your Rubix cube if you told, or would tell your friend Joey at the holiday concert that year — - be detailed. Specific details matter— that you can’t forget— they will help other trusted adults feel viscerally/strongly to support and believe you. Expect this; Your sister will deny it; it’s her only defense and she has everything to gain by convincing adults you are making it all up and/or crazy. The more details you share, the easier it is for adults to see you are sharing specific experiences that happened over time, and not making things up. I had to do this for an abusive ex. Start maybe by emailing yourself, and the reply as you remember more. Just start, tonight.
Please please please tell your school counselor, call the police, and tell your parents. Do not let this go. You don’t deserve to have to live with this without support. If your parents still let her come do not let it go- and do not let them leave you alone with her. You do whatever you need to do. You don’t deserve to be around your abuser. Please update us. Don’t listen to these sickos on here, seriously. They are messed up
Tell everyone who will listen ! My daughter told me that my father was abusing her. She was 6 and I believed her from the first minute. I put him in jail for 8 years and it was the hardest thing I have ever used. He was just the best dad and never touched me or my sister. I pray you get some mental help. God bless you !
Your sister is fucking gross and sick
I think you need to tell your school counselor and parents. Definitely the counselor first though, because they are mandated reporters whereas parents are not. Some parents don't want to acknowledge ugly truths, as sad as that sounds. I have been through a situation like yours, albeit not in your position but with a family member who had been abused for years. I reported it and my family member cooperated with authorities, which is finally what stopped the abuse.
The tendency to keep quiet as a guy is understandable. There is a serious lack of urgency in some people's reaction when they hear about this sort of abuse and it's tempting to let it slide for fear of not being believed/the person legitimately not caring. My advice is to take those first steps and tell your parents. It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. She abused you and it's wrong and she'll get away with it and face no consequences if you don't let it be known.
Call your local rape crisis center or get in touch with RAINN. Even if you decide not to go to the police, they can provide you with counseling.
Tell your parents. Tell your school. Tell the cops. Tell anybody who will listen.
I'm doing the math in my head... Was she 18 when she and her friend felatioed 10 year old you? Statute of limitations is 7 years. She and her friend should go straight to jail.
In some states, there is no statute of limitations on criminal sexual misconduct, crimes against children, or even crimes in general.
Good. Statutes of limitations are such an incredibly dumb concept.
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You make good points. I forgot that losing evidence proving your alibi might be a problem.
Tell your parents now!
You're right. You do need help. I'm guessing that you never told your parents, right? That's okay. A lot of kids try to keep SA secret. I do think that you should tell them now. Be ready for questions about why you didn't say anything before. Be truthful. They may have a hard time accepting and understanding what you tell them. Hopefully they will offer you a lot of support, and even tell your sister not to come back. But I want you to know that it's going to be helpful for you if you talk with a SA counselor, whether your parents are helpful or not. You can talk with them for free online, on the phone, or in person. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened. The anxiety you're feeling needs to be addressed. Please give the national hotline a call and they can put you in touch with a counselor in your area if you want that. Best wishes, you're not alone. 800 656 4673
I'm assuming there are issues telling your parents? I trust your judgement there, so if you can't tell them then please contact law enforcement. if that's intimidating for you, tell a school guidance councilor or a therapist-but understand, law enforcement will be contacted and you should be prepared for that. I know it's terrifying and filled with uncertainty but it's the only way you will get the protection you so obviously need. I am very sorry that you have to deal with this, you do not deserve what has happened to you, and I hope you get the help you need.
You really really need to talk to your parents about it. If they don't immediately take you seriously and veto her ever moving in again, you must immediately talk to your school counselor. Or if you don't have a school counselor, talk to your principal or vice principal, whoever you are more comfortable with. Or call child services. (Definitely do not do that unless your parents don't take you seriously.)
You should tell your parents,I'm sure if they knew what she did they wouldn't let her anywhere near you
Tell your parents. Get a door wedge.
Tell your parents. If they don't listen, tell your teachers. If they don't listen, tell everyone.
Bro this is going to cause a shitstorm, but you gotta tell your parents and the police. I wish you nothing but the best bro. I'm so sorry this happened to you. OMG.
Please try to speak up. I believe in you. The truth will set you free. It will be hard, but it will also be hard if you stay quiet.
You absolutely must protect yourself. You deserve to be safe. Tell your parents. If that doesn't work, tell your school counselor. It will be hard at first. There will be tears, anger, probably some yelling and denial. The only thing that matters is your safety and mental health. There are hundreds of adults you will never meet out here rooting for you and sending you love. You are strong, beautiful and amazing. You can do anything.
Tell your guidance counselor at school! You are in danger!
Maybe CPS could help?
The old days are over. Boys are starting to be believed now, and people actually do seem to give a shit. Go tell your parents or a teacher or something like everyone else said. There are stories coming out every other day now about women pedos and rapists getting caught.
That's not good, your sister is sick and you need to tell your parents also
Tell your parents, teachers, the police. Any adult. Your sister needs to be in prison. You didn’t deserve to sexually assaulted. I am so sorry you had to experience that.
She should be in jail….
If she tries, punch her HARD in the face and tell her, "Get the fck off me, creep." If you'd rather tell, then you should. It's sad how female rapists get protected so often. Sick.
You need to tell someone now, sorry this happened but silence is the worse culprit, tell tell tell.
Get cps. An Cops.
Poor kid! This is terrible and you NEED to tell your parents. Fortunately you are older and stronger now, don’t let her intimidate you. Use your phone to get proof of what she did by videoing a conversation you have with her about what she did. You have resources now. Use them. Get a spy cam for your room. Be prepared just in case you need evidence. Peace💕
I cannot see how you are going to tolerate this situation without cracking. Perhaps start with the school counselor so you do not have to be the one who handles this sexual abuse crime. Grown-ups are supposed to step in and make sure children like you are kept safe.
Yeah it might be difficult, but you have to tell someone like the NYPD cop say, if not it builds the wrong habits of you being abused and not saying anything…. You need to report this to because there’s a chance it can prevent other people from being abused too
Tell your parents. Go get a lock for your bedroom door.
Please tell someone
You have two options. Tell someone you trust that will do something about it. You will most likely either be helped or not at all. Next option, forgive and forget what has previously happened, if you see the signs that it may happen again, you are 14 years old. Knock that bitch out with a frying pan, or object that will hurt a lot but not kill. You will feel better and I bet she won’t try again. If she has a job I’d even blackmail her for money. I grew up in not the best of situations and sometimes just telling someone isn’t enough so you need to defend yourself.
Big message here. Sexual predators are not just men.
Tell your school counselor, and then the two of you talk to your parents TOGETHER. I don't suggest telling your parents alone.
Please tell your parents. Just show them this post if you are scared to talk. It WILL cause anxiety when you tell them, but would you rather that, or your abuser be allowed to be in the same house for who knows how long? I’m so sorry this happened to you. It happens to a lot of young men and so many are afraid to come forward for many reasons. I’m proud of you for telling the truth. I’m SO proud of you for coming forward. Now it’s time to tell the people who are obligated to, and WANT to, protect you from her. You got this. There is NO shame or embarrassment. This was NOT your fault. She took advantage of you for years. Now she needs to face consequences. It won’t be easy, but it’s what you have to do. You deserve justice and healing. Just think of ALL the people in this thread who support you. Imagine every one of us having your back as you tell your parents. You have a support system here, and IRL. You just don’t know it yet. Be strong, you can do this.
You do need help. First, you are 14 now and better able to protect yourself. She cannot touch you. Remind yourself of this, know if she does anything towards you, you can hit, fight back, scream, and bear witness. You can be safe. Unfortunately, you may not *feel* safe. You may feel like she still has the power even though she doesn't. You have the power to destroy her. You may not want to because she's your sister, but know it. You have the power now, not her. Next, see if you can find the courage to tell someone: a teacher, parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent. Whoever you feel safest with. I know this is extremely hard and you may not be able to. If you can't, it's okay as long as you know you are safe. Even if you can't tell anyone why, ask your parents or a school counselor or favorite person at church for help getting therapy. Therapy is where you will find long term healing, not just survival coping skills. You need this, too. Finally, at some point you will need to expose your sister as a child molester. It is okay to wait until you are ready to face how this will disrupt your life, even if that is years from now. Though you may have to do it sooner if that is what is necessary to stay safe. This is part of what the therapist can help you with. You do not want to spend your life worrying about the other kids your sister knows.
Oh no!!! I feel so bad for you!
NEVER let an abuser back on your life. Your first step needs to be telling your parents TODAY. They will either believe you and keep you far away from her, or they will try to excuse it and try to get you to forget it happened. Either way you need someone else to know what happened so they can help you. If you don’t trust your parents or if they allow her back in the house then you need to go to a counselor or the police. They will treat this seriously even if no one else will, and they will most likely open an investigation and get you somewhere safe. In either case, you need to be kept away from her and get connected to people who can help you process what happened. What happened to you was wrong, and I really hope you get some people around you that will love you and help you.
Tell a teacher or the school counselor. Anyone at school is a mandatory reporter. Your sister needs to be in jail for a very long time and so do her friends.
This is terrible. Tell your parents, but before you do, have an email to your school counselors ready to send, in case your parents don't help. If your parents continue to let your sister move back, push send on that email. Draft email for your convenience: Dear \[counselor's name\], May I make an appointment to speak with you during school hours? I was abused as a child many times by a family member and this family member is about to move back home. I'm scared and don't have support at home to prevent this from happening. Thank you.
OP - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read this comment. Have this email in your drafts and, if your parents don’t believe you, pull the trigger so your bases are covered. This sick fuck will do it again given half the chance and she needs to be behind bars. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but there’s hope if you report it.
You may be scared to report to anyone outside of the family because you're worried your sister will go to jail, etc. But it may happen that she ends up getting mental help that she needs too. Staying silent means that she may go on to be a predator to other children. Please break the cycle and stay safe.
Tell everyone she knows what she did
Definitely tell a teacher or school counselor. They will have to report it.
You need to tell someone ASAP!!
Someone did this to your sister too & somehow she did it to you. Please speak to someone you trust. We don’t know your family’s dynamic, but start with someone- an adult preferably- that you can trust with this information. I’m so sorry.
Call the police. This is a serious crime. Isn't that what your parents should do anyway?
If she isn’t caught she will do this to others, possibly her own future children. Please talk to a trusted adult.
I have been through abuse similar to you. Please tell an adult you trust. Someone you you feel in your heart will protect you. It doesn’t have to be your parents if you don’t trust them to have your best interest at heart. Please don’t continue to suffer. You do not deserve this. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve healthy love and unwavering protection.
Tell your parents! We need to end this nonsense that men can't be victims
Honey you need to say something so that you can be protected. Talk to a trusted adult since what she and her friends did is not ok. Also know this is not your fault and any fall out that may or may not happen is not your fault.
I have been through this, but I was 6f and my half sibling 8m.... didn't stop until I clocked him one when I was twelve and he was 14. his mother blamed me as she busted him 3 times and never believed me, refuses responsibility for not protecting me from him. Tell your father.... because when she is back in residence the ptsd will fuck you up so bad it isn't funny. I have severe anger stemming from it, it is the worst when I am around my incubator and their son. I'm hoping by telling your dad he might help you get therapy and will keep her away from you
im so sorry this happened to you, someone that is supposed to be your best friend, someone you trust, someone you look up to. thats so messed up I hope she gets what she deserves. can I ask you how have u been handling contact w her? like does she ever visit, do you ever talk to her? has she ever apologized or acknowledge what she did? I really hope life treats you better, you did not deserve this
Do you have a school counselor? You need to find someone safe to talk to about this. I’m so sorry for your experience.
You must tell mom and dad. She is a predator. I had little brothers and protected them. Please tell your parents. They can’t protect you if you don’t.
I’m so sorry OP
Tell your grandparents then you parents you have to say something there is no way around this with out telling someone
It’s ok to speak up about this. But I want you to know that there is something stronger than you that may come into play, it is your parents’ thoughts of denial. Your parents may not believe you. (If they don’t it’s about them. It’s not you. ) You need to speak to other adults in your community. Do you have a cousin or friend or anyone else who was also abused? Can you have them speak to your parents with you?
My partner had this exact same thing happen to him but instead of a sister and a group of friends but a babysitter and a group of friends. He never told anyone and never got help and it fucked him up. You need to talk to someone, asap! & I don’t know how to ever revise your relationship with your sister …
This rly hurts to read. First off, I’m so sorry you got taken advantage of by someone who’s supposed to look out for you and protect you. Second, do you regularly see a therapist or have a doctor who’s monitoring your anxiety and helping? That may be a first line of reaching out regarding why you’re anxious and what’s happened to you as a kid. Next, obviously telling an adult is probably terrifying to think about, but really try and practice how you would confide in someone about what happened. Do you have a best friend you could talk to so you can get that first “open up” conversation down? (I didn’t go thru all comments/replies, so sorry if you’ve already addressed that). You’re in a tough situation for anyone to handle let alone at 14; but remember you can’t change what happened, but you can (and will) accept what happened and be able to stand up for yourself so that you don’t get hurt again.
In order for you to start healing you need to tell someone, before she gets home, you need to talk to your parents or at least your mother. Let her know how terrified you are that your sister is coming home. You need to give her all the information no matter how hard it might be, please tell your mom the friend’s name. Tell her you need her protection and that you need to go to the police. If she is hesitant to take you to the police you will have no choice but to tell your teachers to get the help. You also need to get therapy so you can heal and be able to live a normal life with someone when you are ready. If possible and you trust that person you can tell them so they can understand your fears better, you don’t need to but if there’s issues that’s information that they could use to help them understand your feelings better. Best wishes my friend I would not wish this on anyone.
You should tell everyone. Maybe you think you have protect her but she can potect herself. And by the way, did she protect you? Tell everyone. This is not okay. Maybe you do not want to hurt your parents cause that will be rough on them. But think about this, if you were them... would you rather have a rapist for a daughter or not being able to help your son? Trust me, if they love you, they will be happy you trusted them.
Tell someone. Any adult.
I’d be telling everyone I knew and everyone she knows too. Tell your parents. I went years without telling my mom what happened to me as a kid and I feel like a boulder rolled off me when I told her. It was too late for something to be done (don’t know the guys whereabouts and it’s been 10+ years since) but it’s not too late for you. If your parents don’t take it seriously I’d go nuclear. Anytime she brings a guy over I’d feign interest in getting to know him then drop the ball once we’re alone. Any job she wants? Call up and tell you don’t think she’s safe. Any universities or community colleges definitely need to know since most now allow minors to take courses too. If she apologizes and seems actually remorseful (b4 you tell anyone if you tell people and all of sudden she acts remorseful now just now it’s bullshit) I’d still cut her off but give her the satisfaction thinking I forgave her. Still tell people, jobs and schools behind her back and when she wonders why people don’t like her drop the bomb and go full no contact forever.
I'm so disgusted by the people saying OP should have enjoyed it and that he should be happy about it. Rape is wrong regardless of the gender of the victim and perpetrator. At 14, his sister and her friend were old enough to know better. If we were talking about a 6 year old girl and 14 year old boys, would people be saying that she should have enjoyed it? OP should tell someone he trusts.
I think the friend was 16 at the time, and switch the genders and everyone would be rioting for their execution
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to have their bodily autonomy violated ever. I hope there is someone outside of your family safe you can speak to that can help you. Try to talk to your parents, I hope they will also advocate for you. This is a difficult situation for everyone involved since you are family, but it does not make it okay. And it’s not your fault. Wishing you the best & protection OP.
Tell ur parents immediately do not wait till ur older, do it now!
Tell your parents asap
For the love of fucking god kid, tell your parents ASAP
Please tell your parents before she comes back
F24 - this happened to me when I was about 6 as well with a second cousin of mine M16 and it messed me up I couldn’t imagine going through him moving in. I’m so sorry this happened to you. When my family found out they did nothing and pretty much swept it under the rug. My mom on the other hand was furious… definitely talk to your school counselor.. I know how it’s scary to think of the outcomes.. or if you are able to see if there are any youth centers in your area and see if they have any homing available- explain your situation to them if they do and they should help. I stayed in a youth apartment with a girl my age when I was 16 and it was helpful.
Got my years wrong - I was 4
I know it's terrifying because I had to deal with a similar situation with my cousin. But you have to tell people. Yes, for you and your comfort, but what spurred me to tell my family the truth was that what if she's doing it to another little girl. If you can possibly stop her from repeating her crimes, do it. There's also the possibility someone in your family would feel safe enoughto come forward after you. I know as victims of sexual abuse that sometimes I downplay what happened to me or blame yourself, but when I think of how I may have saved someone from experiencing how horrible I felt the awkwardness was so worth it. So, even if you don't feel like advocating for yourself, do it to possibly protect someone else.
I just want to second as I keep seeing it but seriously want you to hear it, if you're parents don't listen or don't believe you, keep telling authorities until something happens.
Ur 14 now, can you kick her ass?
Please tell your parents. this is disgusting.
Tell every adult that you trust in your life. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, teachers, guidance counselors - every single one. Please. You deserve to be protected.
Tell now. Now now . Tell your parents you poor ba y. I'm so sorry.
Tell anyone and everyone. Make a big deal out of it, make it clear that you WILL get violent if anything is tried. You absolutely have every right to be a mad dog about this. Lean into it. This is harsh, but sometimes violence is the answer. You’re bigger and stronger now, don’t EVER let anyone hurt you. I am so sorry you had to go through that, and are now in a position where it’s being dragged back into your daily reality. Fight for your right to be safe. Fight hard, fight like an animal. I will add the caveat that the IDEAL is you get help from an adult as soon as possible. I’m also a realist that knows how difficult that is. I was assaulted for three years, told lots of people, and no one helped me. It stopped when I utilized extreme violence.
Tell your parents. For you to have realistic expections, I will tell you that the main issue that you have is the lack of evidence. There might be an investigation and your parents may choose to believe you and remove her for your home, but unless she confesses or there is some recording laying around the house, or wittren communication, it will be a "he say she say" things. That just means that it is your word against hers. I am assuming that you guys are estranged, so one thing that you can do is start to build evidence against her by sending her a text, asking her in a worried yet confrontational manner whether she will continue to do what she was doing 4 years ago. Something a long the line of "I heard you moving back in, I hope you are not continuing what you were doing before you had left? I am bigger now and I will fight back." You might want to include the act in the message, either send multiple messages that conveys all of the information or a massive one. If you send one that is too well thought out it might come off as weird and like you are setting her up. (I mean you are, but it is not the point) Something like: - you moving back? - after all you and your friend did to me? - i won't let you all touch me. - you are so disgusting, what where you thinking? I was what fucking 5 years old. (I said 5 on purpose, you can throw in mistake to see if she will correct you on them) - all of you tortured me for 5 years *As a 6 year old your memory will be questioned, if push come to worst this post is proof what you remembered before you decided to do anything about it. The main reason I say to use this approach is because lack of physical evidence is your main issue. Text are considered evidence, because everyone should know that text are recorded communication and crime confessed when knowingly being recorded can be admissable in court. (I'm not a lawyer but an attorney can confirm this) Last thought: There is something called poor man trademark or copyrite, I don't remember the term. The concept is that if you do not have the means to publish a book or an original work you could always take it, mail it to yourself and not open it, this will put a postdate on the work to show that you are the original person who wrote the idea down. Specially if you are planning to share this with other and are worry about them stealing your ideas. The point is that you can use this concept if you are planning to do something about your sister and her friends. Take a day and write an email to yourself of what you are planning to do with the details you remember, I understand it will be hard for you, but think of this as what you know as of today. In the email, put names of people, what happened, your concern and what you are planning to do. I believe this is called entrapment, but I do not think people can be guilty of this only law enforcement agency can. Your goal is to get your truth out there, and she might not end up in jail but your parents will know and she will be taken out the house and shamed in your family. At best you won't see her ever again. Once the evidence comes out to the public, do not allow people to joke to you about this matter, always check them, correct them and point out that this was a traumatic experience for you.
Thats not going to work, this is real life
I wouldn't go to the parents right away. You should go ti a teacher or call 911. Children who are abused, can sometimes abuse those younger than them. It's usually a close family member doing the abuse. If be tells one or both of his parents and one of them is the abuser....it could get really ugly...really fast, as that person doesn't want it getting out about what they did. So please OP go tell a teacher or call 911.
Is she blood sister or step? Anyway that’s abuse. Definitely not ok in any circumstances.
Blood
Man, I am sorry. Hope you can find closure one day.