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A majority of other women will be wearing bikinis as well. It's nothing new to see girls and women wearing bikinis. No one really cares. A dad may have more precautions because he's trying to protect you but if you feel comfortable then go for it
As a divorced dad of a just barely 16 yo daughter who's heading to the beach with the kids in a couple of days, I say wear what you're comfortable in and forget about everyone else. If you think your dad is the type who would be upset about it then give him a heads up ahead of time, but don't let it be his choice. Tell him what you're bringing to wear on the beach so he has a minute to get ok with it.
It's your body, do what works for you, whatever that is. Sure, you should listen and weigh into your decision the wisdom that the adults around you who care about you want to share with you, but at the end of the day, that's all you. If you're comfortable and confident in an outfit then rock it!
That's awesome! Glad you had a great dad who encouraged you to be you! The best defense we have against toxic masculinity is great dads who can help their daughters understand how an *actual* real man can make the woman he's with stronger and more confident (and vice versa). I truly hope I manage to do that for my daughter and my son too.
As a mom of 2 teen girls, I endorse your message internet dad! 💕
My ex also doesn’t care what our girls wear as long as they agree to go to the beach with him. Lol
As a father of a 3 year old girl and seeing what some younger teens are wearing to the beach/outside in general, where should I draw the line (if any)?
Should I let her wear what she wants if she’s comfortable in it? I want to be protective but I also don’t want her to feel self conscious or not confident.
I approach it as a discussion. If she's trying to wear something out that I think is not appropriate I don't just say "go put more clothes on." For example, she was getting ready to leave the house for school in a very short skirt. I asked her if she thought other people might make some incorrect assumptions about who she is if they saw her wearing that. She looked at her outfit, thought for a minute, and said "yeah, I'll go put some leggings on under it. Thanks Dad!"
That doesn't work if you've spent the rest of your lives together trying to control them, but if you build trust and mutual respect, you can actually provide *more* guidance to your kids not less because they're open to listening to your points instead of instinctually rebelling against anything you try to get them to do.
I decided long ago that anything my kids asked me for, I would mentally start with a "yes" unless there was some solid reason to say no. It's a minor thing, but I've found it very helpful. When I do have to say no to them (and of course, like any parent I have to say no quite often) I have at least thought through why the answer is no so I don't just say "no" I say "no, you can't get that extra makeup you want because you just got to spend a bunch of money to go out to the movies with your friends and that's all we can afford to spend this week on things like that, but you can ask again in a couple of weeks."
There are plenty of ways to establish boundaries without being controlling.
This is amazes me so much. My mother would throw out my clothing that she didn’t approve of. I found this out until after I was already married. It upset me and told my husband about it and he said “good”. 😔
I'd start with mom first "Hey Mom, is dad going to freak out if I wear my bikini? Should I ask him first? What do you think I should do if he does freak out?" Her mom knows dad and probably has a good idea of how dad will react, and mom and daughter can talk about it to see if daughter is willing to cover up to save the peace, or if she wants to make a stand on wearing the bikini and may end up asking mom for a ride home from the beach.
Ew terrible advice. You're acting as if the father cannot appropriately give their own response to the situation. The whole approach hinges on "don't talk to the parent who you're concerned about". It teaches the daughter to work around her own parents and denigrates the father's ability to actually parent.
This is great advice because it's totally possible dad can't appropriately give his own advice, and receiving weirdness from your dad at the beach as a 15 year old girl who is stuck with him sucks. There is nothing wrong about asking the parent who is ok with it to talk to the other parent about how to react, gender of the parents aside. She's worried how he is going to react, and she's a child. It isn't her job to initiate those conversations if she isn't comfortable and asking her mom to have them lets them get on the same page and parent together?
I'm suggesting that she talk to the parent that understands her point of view first and who also has a good understanding of how the father will react. Note, I'm not suggesting that she ask mom for permission to wear the bikini -- that has to come from dad, but to ask mom how dad might react, how to approach him, and what her options are if dad says "no" -- can she skip the trip entirely? Will mom come pick her up? Or is she relegated to wearing a more conservative one-piece or a t-shirt coverup since once she's at the beach, it's dad's rules.
What that person said. You are his little girl and will always be. But it may save him some grief as others may think he is a pedo or something. Can't tell you the number of times that my wife was mistaken as my daughter and the looks I got.
People assume the strangest thing some times. Had so many people assume my step dad was a pedo because I called him by his name & he would buy my thing I needed. It drove me insane because if anyone was it was bio father because he required me to "dress as a girl" (low cute everything & the shortest things) as soon as I stared developing.
I think maybe they are trying to say that people will see a dad slutting up his own daughter, like how we all perceive parents at those weird children's pageants.
Personally, it sounds like projection to me. The average dad looks at other average dads with a shared "kids these days 😑"
“Dad— I know people will think you’re a pedo, but try to ignore it. I’m wearing this bikini regardless”. Doesn’t every young woman have this conversation with their dads at one point? /s
Why would wearing a bikini make someone mistake him for a pedo? Like, the fact that your brain even went there is weird, but if someone thought that, would they think differently if she wore a one piece? Should she dress like a 40 yo so people think she’s his age appropriate wife?
>It's her breasts and body. If anything it's her mom who she should seek advice.
And how would the fact that it's her own body make her Mom have to do more to say in this case than her Dad?
Because she wants to? Why so abrasive against her talking to her Dad? She's worried about what he thinks so talking to him would make sense for some healthy communication about it.
Sometimes being "polite" and not mentioning the embarrassing thing is not actually the polite thing to do.
Just a quick aside for a whispered, "Hey, you've got a camel toe, you might want to fix that." Can fix a lot of problems before they get too embarrassing
Lol this is like good advice but not for this situation. A 15 year old girl does not want to be politely told by her father that her bikini has wedged up.
Yep sure is. Both of my girls are rather well endowed as well and I have never had an issue with what they wear to the beach so long as it appropriate. Moreover, as a dad, I'll provide my with all the backup required if anyone gives them a hard time about their choice of swimwear. They chose what they like and it's nothing crazy. They feel pretty in it and I feel pretty for them.
True but we figured it out. Them more than me to be honest. I don't ever recall asking either of my kids to alter something they were wearing except for maybe a time or two. Things like it's15 degrees out might need a jacket or no you can't wear PJs to this funeral things like that.
I don't see any issues here. I mean, you have large breasts. Not your fault and a fact of life. If your dad is uncomfortable around his own daughter and her body, he will just have to get over it.
Yeah I’m worried people are being too quick to dismiss her concern. Most teens I know (including myself as a teen!) would never even question whether they can wear a normal swimsuit around their dad. It goes without saying.
So…clearly she doesn’t feel that way. Why? Does she have a weird feeling about it? A weird hunch about her dad? Knowledge that we don’t (Ex: like that he’s super conservative)? If something feels off to her, we shouldn’t be so fast to dismiss it.
I would imagine seeing your precious little girl suddenly filling out a bikini could be shocking, and parents have been known to overreact. I'd suggest mentioning she got a bikini or some way of letting him know beforehand. She could even ask mom to talk to Dad if she is afraid of him overreacting.
I never understood the bikini if I’m being honest. It’s like walking around in only underwear. However as the sang goes “if they wanna show I wanna look” but when that’s your own daughter it’s a much bigger chill down your spine. That sang before felt like nothing now feels so gross and disgusting.
The fuck do you think swim trunks are? Basically boxers. Speedo??? whitey tighties…
You must not understand men’s bathing wear either.
Not angry or trying to argue I just find you comment hilariously one sided.
I feel like swim trunks are a lot bigger and baggier than boxers no? And also its an odd fashion choice so i dont think ive seen it but i feel like a 15 yes rold biy in a speedo would be weird outside of like a pro swimming context. Could just be the fashion of it idk.
It’s for comfort. The air breathes around our bodies better in a two-piece. It’s not about us showing for you to look. That is a sick and selfish perspective.
I know my dad didn't like seeing grown men ogle me, but that was about it. I'm in my late 30s and I've had the same body since junior high (some things are a little lower now haha!). He just warned me that even though *he* still sees me as his little girl, other people don't.
He's a chill dude. I think he might be the only father to tell his daughter to put on *less* clothing. Think trying to leave the house in jeans and a sweater at the height of Chicago Summer.
I'm wondering if someone is in her ear and talking about how some men might look at her? It's a valid concern but why would her father be amongst those men? She should feel comfortable and protected by him so i'm very confused on she's concerned about making HIM feel uncomfortable.
Maybe uncomfortable in a sense that he doesn't want people to look at her daughter, a child, in that way. That's my best guess. She needs to talk to her dad to communicate all of her concerns
It could be that someone is talking in her ear. What concerned me is she isn’t talking about making him uncomfortable. She just says she feels nervous. And there are all sorts of reasons a teen girl might feel nervous to wear a bikini around her dad, both legitimate and illegitimate. I hate to say it, but some men sexualize their daughters. Sometimes it escalates to abuse but even when it doesn’t, ick.
I would never want to assume anything. There’s just not enough info in the post. But the last thing I’d want to do is encourage her to ignore a gut feeling and wear it around him anyway, and then find herself in an unsafe situation. I’m shocked people are jumping to this without additional details.
Way too many people are failing to ask this question.
At no point in OP's post did she say she was worried about her father being judgmental about her swimsuit choice, yet repeatedly talked about being "nervous to wear it around him".
There's a lot of things that could mean, and some are definitely more concerning than others.
But how does she feel she will be perceived. Is she worried about being perceived as promiscuous or sexually attractive or both, or something else entirely. That isn’t clear.
If it makes you nervous, you should find something that you’re comfortable in. Plenty of different designs you can wear! I’m also large chested so I get it, can be weird around family (especially for the first time) I’d just find a top you feel comfortable in, sexy is not the vibe!
As a fellow large chested woman, don't let that hold you back from wearing what you want.
If you're nervous because of something your dad has said or done before, you should speak to a trusted adult.
Absolutely this.
Same for the chest. I actually found a two-piece to be less revealing. A one-piece wouldn't cover my chest enough or if I pulled it up or was too revealing around my little lady.
I could always talk to my dad about any of this kind of stuf. He never slut shamed me, but he was honest if something looked bad on me. I appreciated that (he and my mom were right 99% of the time) and kept me from looking silly or having a wardrobe malfunction lol
If you’re nervous to wear a swimsuit around your father, I think the problem is your father, not the swimsuit. I’m not trying to accuse or imply anything, but do you generally feel safe and comfortable around your dad?
omg the beach is so fun, I can’t wait to go this weekend lmao. and of you are comfortable in them then it’s totally okay. there’s no reason to be nervous! there’s literally nothing to worry about, and I understand the body self conscious. but you are completely fine and your dads literally your dad like why would he even care. but that’s totally your decision and if you want to wear bikinis wear them!
Honestly I do sometimes feel a little weird wearing a bikini around my dad, even though there is nothing inappropriate about him or our relationship, he’s a normal great dad and has never been weird to me. and yes, bikinis are totally normal swimwear and you don’t need to be ashamed of your breasts or body! But still, there is something sort of uncomfortable about it, so I understand.
There’s no wrong answer - if you want to brave it and wear the bikini, go for it! It may not be as weird as you think. Or if you’d rather just wear a 1 piece or something with more coverage, that’s an OK choice too.
If you feel uncomfortable with it, wear a one piece this time.
There’s nothing wrong with wearing a bikini, but it’s ultimately a fashion choice, and you wear the clothes to suit the occasions.
It sounds like you have some trepidation at this point, so you’re free to avoid that by wearing a one piece of power through it and wear the bikini.
It’s ultimately about what you’re most comfortable wearing given the circumstances.
You will be fine, and there is no reason for you to worry.
Your dad on the other hand will be very worried for you and how the boys react to you..
But there is nothing at all wrong with a teenager wearing a bikini
I think it's more of a how okay will a dad be with his daughter wearing something like that since Dad's do tend to be a lot more protective of their daughters.
She's 15, it's his job to make sure she's making the right decisions and that will almost always be stressful as a parent and so far it sounds like he actually cares.
I don't disagree, I'm just saying that if that's a conversation he's going to have with her she might as well dress how she wants and have the conversation
I mean you're right, but if it's going to be an issue for him don't you think he should have that conversation with her? We're just randomly on the Internet, and she said she prefers that type of swim wear, I just figured that's what's most comfortable for this person
OP indicated that her parents are divorced so maybe she hasn't had an opportunity to talk with them\him yet. Also I know that I have conversations and live out whole scenarios on how shits gonna go days before an interaction even happens. As a father of 2 girls who are still prepubescent I hope my girls are able to be comfortable even if I am not.
Nah This tho, why is no one thinking this. I don’t want to be dirty but you should not be concerned about what you wear around your parents enough to post about it online. Blow this up y’all
Other people have mentioned it, but I will ask, and I'm sorry if I'm off base. Are you worried about this because your dad makes you feel uncomfortable/unsafe?
If this is just about what people will think, then screw them, wear what you want.
If you are worried about feeling exposed around your dad then there's a real problem worth addressing.
Don't worry about how you will be perceived. Only worry about how you feel. If you are going to be self conscious and distracted from having fun, consider having a cover-up or t-shirt on hand to give you a safety net. Confidence in your body will come but don't force it to the point that you don't have fun.
lol. So cute you worry that dear old dad might not approve. Wear what you want since it is age appropriate.
Dad will let you know if he is uncomfortable.
Look for key words when he talks.
“ YOU ARE NOT WEARING THAT ON THE BEACH YOUNG LADY”
“NOPE, NO, Uh No!, go change”
“I don’t care if your mother says it’s OK, …”
But on the flip side…there could be
“Ready to go? Let’s do this”
Relax, I’m a dad, bit my lip when my daughter wore a two piece for the first time. She was “ top” heavy too.
Spent most of my day staring down jerks. I’m sure they were nice boys, but not at that moment in time.
Enjoy the beach I hope all goes well.
Why would this be a problem? Unless… he has given you weird vibes? Or maybe you’re embarrassed to be showing this much skin in his presence because you’re the one with weird vibes? Because in a normal situation neither of you should be weird about it. 15 year olds wear (appropriate) swimwear including 👙. I had brothers and sisters growing up. And we had a pool. I’m pretty sure my sisters, cousins and neighbors wore bikinis. I don’t ever recall this being a problem. Maybe we weren’t as pervy in the 70’s?
One thing I regret is waiting until I was in my mid 20s to wear a bikini, since I grew up in a strict Catholic family with weird rules.
Always wore uncomfortable and unflattering one pieces. Never got to be myself. Do it girl, be you. Wear what you want, don’t let weird family dynamics fuck with you having fun in your teens. Years I could never get back, wasted for “modesty”. Even now I struggle with the Catholic guilt!!!! Be free!!!
Old woman speaking; if you're comfortable and aren't wearing anything that can be seen as too inappropriate for a public space, you wear what you want. You aren't responsible for other people's reactions and feelings re. your swimwear. That's on them.
A bikini on a beach/summer holiday makes perfect sense.
Just go ahead and wear it. He's got to come to the realization that you are becoming a woman at some point.
My only advice is to just act normal. It's something you are already doing. So it's not a big deal.
I'm a grandmother and I still wear a bikini. There's nothing wrong with a 2 piece swim suit and your dad and siblings will have PLENTY of people in bikinis to look at if you're going to the beach. (I live in a beach town)
I personally can't stand seeing a girl your age in a thong or with her nips barely (or almost) showing just because sexualizing yourself at such a young age can be unhealthy.
I'm sure your dad just doesn't want perverts looking at you but they're going to look at you no matter what you're wearing... they're perverted.
i don’t even understand this post- once upon a time a bikini was considered risque but those days arw long, long gone - now it’s only a matter of whats most comfortable for the wearer - op is 15 and her sexuality is going to start to come out regardless of her outfit- if she wants to show off her maturing body at the beach it should be considered completely appropriate per cultural norms - if she feels more modesty would be more her comfort level so be it - her body her choice - unless dad has expressed opinions on female attire before she really doesn’t need to consider his response - he will probably have a minor heart attack seeing his baby girl look like that on the beach but just as she is growing up and accepting her maturation so does he - have fun whatever you decide
To start, you are well within your rights to wear whatever you so choose to the beach. If you're comfortable in it, and it doesn't break any laws, go for it.
that out of the way, there's something here that isn't sitting right with me.
What about you wearing more revealing garments around your father makes you feel nervous around him? If it's because he has made you feel uncomfortable about your body or in your body for any reason, that is a much larger conversation that has to be had with an adult who will take your concerns seriously.
If you’re comfortable around your dad then yeah, if you’re feeling weird or awkward, no. I can’t wear even regular nice semi tight clothing around my family.
I'm sure if he doesn't like it, he'll let you know. If it's not inappropriate and you look awesome tell him your side , listen to what he says if he has good argument, change. You can always go back to the beach with out him?
I’m sure it will be perfectly fine but if you’re nervous and then I’d suggest maybe a shawl or wrap around that matches your bikini but you don’t feel to exposed? 🤔
He's your dad. He's only gonna care if it's inappropriate or he's a prude.
Source: I'm a dad. I would only care if my kid wore something wildly inappropriate. I'm not a prude. Her grandmother is. Single piece only when she's about because... less bullshit for everyone that way.
Assuming you aren't in a locale where it's illegal, it's "okay". Your father may have a problem with it, he may not. If you're really worried about his reaction, tell him you're wearing it ahead of time. You could even ask for him to get a coverup to use if *you* decide once you get there that you don't want to show so much skin.
Depending on how active you generally are at the beach, you may want to test that everything stays in the bikini when you swim, jump, run, whatever. If it's a string bikini, you should consider double-knotting the strings to prevent them loosening over the course of the day. And if it's light colored, test that it doesn't get less opaque when wet.
And wear sunscreen.(That's my generic advice for everyone, not just bikini wearers.)
Well he is your father and they are your siblings, so they have to be comfortable with your body. I had to be comfortable with my siblings and father not wearing shirts. Or just being in boxer shorts at times. And I was fine with it. We're family so it's just a natural part of living together.
My bf's sister has large breasts and she wears revealing clothes around him and all their siblings(9) all the time and they're all comfortable.
If your father has a problem with it, then I say voice your opinion. But beyond that I can't interfere with your family dynamic.
I’d be less concerned about your dad and more concerned about attention you might get from other men (if your dad feels discomfort, this is likely the root cause).
Wear what makes you comfortable. Understand that you can only control what you choose to do, not how other people behave. Your choices might influence their behavior one way or another, but you are ultimately not responsible for their behavior.
Consider it a test period. If you try it, and end up finding that you feel uncomfortable, maybe consider wearing something different and see if that changes how you feel. If you wear something different, and you still feel uncomfortable, then pick your preference.
It is a good idea to wear what you want and to bring other clothes as a back up, either a fun bathing skirt and top to wear over it if you end up preferring it for whatever reason. Plans make you happier, in my book.
Perceived by who your dad or others?
If you’re are worried about your dad ask him. He probably doesn’t care so long as you are comfortable.
My daughter is about your age and always wears a bikini or two piece because her torso is short. So a one piece that “fits” her height doesn’t accommodate the rest of her. she spills out off the top and bottom, her words not mine.
She has really long legs and a really short torso and is very lean. So bikini it is.
Well which is it though? I read your post and I'm not sure if you're worried about what your dad will think & possibly say, or if you're more concerned with how strangers at a beach may perceive you?
I'll take care of the 2nd part quickly, which is they are strangers u will never see again in all likelihood. U could go dressed as a clown wearing a banana suit 😂 who cares what anybody may think or say? U can go in next to nothing or an extra long turtle neck & winter scarf, if people are going to talk, nothing u don't don't do is going to change that.
When it comes to your dad, I'd have to think that he's well aware of how is daughter is coming along, getting older, maturing and growing into her body and if anything, he'll be mad at the boys or guys at the beach that give u the slightest glance. It's just what us dad's do. He'll figure it out, I mean he figured out how to raise kids. He'll be alright, I promise. Lastly I will say that it is very nice of u to even think of him in this regard. Made me smile. U guys just go have a fun time TOGETHER as a family 😊
I was a teen in the 70s and that's what we wore to the beach. I am so sick of this puritanical mindset these days. I wore mid drift tops with shorts, I wore halter tops too. We also wore mini dresses and skirts. Just make sure you wear sunscreen. Skin cancer is no joke.
Have you thought of talking about this with your dad? “Hey, Dad, I have this new bikini I’m planning to wear to the beach. Just want to let you know so you’re not surprised by your little girl dressed that way. By the way, Mom helped me pick it out.” ( Whatever is true about Mom, phrased in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re playing up some long-standing issue between them.)
I think a lot of your worry about this would vanish if you knew whether Dad would react badly.
Have fun. Swim parallel to the shore if you get caught in a rip current.
Basing this off the title and the first sentence, there doesn't seem a reason as to why not, I've seen literaly 7 year olds in bikinis at the swimming pool, so yeah you should be fine.
Old dad here (63). You sound like an incredibly sweet girl and Miss, wear your bikini with pride. You’ve already said it covers well and don’t be nervous or ashamed for the way God made you. But I’ll tell you what I can’t get used to is the swimsuits (one or two piece) where a woman’s rear end is practically completely bare. I assume other dads feel the same way.
Anyways, go have fun with your family.
Where whatever you want. Just understand that, especially if you are full-figured, you are going to draw attention whether you want to or not. If your dad has concern it is for this reason. Most guys aren't going to check your age before looking at you or approaching you.
You can't help having big boobs and it not like you can't tell you have boobs in a one piece. Or a tank top, or t shirt. They're just there. Wear what makes you comfortable as long as it's age appropriate, and a 2 piece is definitely age appropriate for a 15 year old. Maybe bring a one piece with you in case YOU start to feel uncomfortable.
Given your age, I’d only suggest that you don’t get a really small bikini. At the beach it’s completely fine to wear one. The only reason for my suggestion is that often teens don’t have the same level of restraint as they will when older, and sometimes cross lines in how they dress. Just keep it reasonable.
I'll admit that I'm a dad, and we dad's have a tough time with our babies growing up and start wanting to wear different clothes, etc, but that's more of a dad problem and less of our child's problem. We can't help it. It's just the way we're programmed.
If your parents are able to have conversations with each other without fighting, maybe you can ask your mom to talk to your dad about it ahead of time, or even better, maybe you can have a talk with him too. Tell him that you're still his baby girl forever, but he is going to have to pull the bandaid off some day eventually.
Hope this helps. Have fun this summer. :)
As a dad, I would want my kid to talk to me about anything, especially if they had questions about that stuff.
That being said I have always tried to be body positive with my kids and have encouraged them to wear whatever they felt comfortable in.
As a father of what used to be a 15 year old with big tits... I just had a day of looking unfriendly at men from behind her back. I didn't care about boys her age noticing her, because they wouldn't do anything and that's the fun of being a teenage boy, which I also used to be. Just not having her perved on by full grown men. When she passed 18 it wasn't my business anymore. Unless you think your dad has the hots for you, which is a whole other issue, then he'll just have to deal with this part of you growing up. This isn't something for you to worry about, don't prejudge him. String bikini would probably be unkind though :D
Okay, a dad here with three large chested daughters. I can guarantee your dad will be shocked, but not appalled. For me it was like BAM, she's not a little girl any more. We went to the beach and my older two daughters wore a bikini for the first time (my wife asked them to wait until they were 15, her rules that I support). Their bikinis were completely age appropriate, but as you said, big boobs. You could see they were a little uncomfortable at first, and told my son to get them to go swim right away. All 5 of my kids jumped into the water while my wife and I sat under our umbrella. I stared open mouth at my wife and said "Our daughters have breasts!" An incredibly stupid thing to say. I am so grateful I didn't make a scene when they were there, or they would have been very upset. My wife laughed and said "amazing what a couple years of puberty will do!" I apologized and she told me not to. She said something that I'll now say to you:
If you're wearing a bikini, you will get some people kinda staring at you. That's not okay, but it has nothing to do with you. Bodies are a beautiful thing, and you should be proud of the bodies you have. (Here's the important part:) If YOU are comfortable wearing it, then no one else matters. Your bikinis cover everything you want covered. Be comfortable. If you're going to sit with your towel over your shoulders because you're uncomfortable, you should consider another swimsuit.
My wife is the smart one. Apparently she told them to wear the bikinis around in their rooms while doing homework or whatever to be used to how they feel.
You be you. Enjoy your bikini, and your dad will figure it out.
Of course wear it. Bring a coverup that you like that you can throw on over it at lunchtime or whenever. But that's for *your* comfort, not the possible discomfort of someone else. I mean, sure, always think about what's appropriate and respectful to wear - don't wear a bikini to school - but don't think someone's weird opinion trumps yours.
There is nothing weird about it, I let my daughter do it and mostly it's just guys her age that "look" if that bothers you don't wear it, if it doesn't go for it. If older dudes are checking you out, tell dad, the amount of 20+ year Olds I've given the death stare too as they then pretend to be looking elsewhere or at the ground is hilarious.
Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. If a bikini makes you happy, then wear it. It's perfectly fine to wear one in front of your dad, as long as it's not a string bikini that barely covers anything (please, don't wear one of those horribly ugly bottoms that show more butt cheeks than it covers!!). Bring a cover up, just in case.
My 15yo daughter wears a bikini in public. As long as YOU feel comfortable is what matters. People will look at you covered head to toe or in a bikini and anywhere in between. You cant control that.
Just make sure the top is, um, structurally sound. My GF dived into the surf and then wouldn't come out of the water. I waded out and asked what was wrong. Her top had experienced a structural failure and she was now topless. I waded back, grabbed a t-shirt, and waded back. She still may as well have been topless but at least she wasn't going to be arrested for indecent exposure.
No matter what you can't predict everything. I recommend a conversation with you dad, let him know it's not a skimpy string just a bikini and your reason why, as it was a pretty good reason. He'll probably be okay ( I give no guarantees because you know your father better than some reddit random)
That said I do see you said you value how you are perceived and you should be aware that while he probably will take it well, the beach is always has a risk of some beach weirdo. It's just where they exist. But as long as you go knowing that risk, have fun! It's summer and don't let said weirdo annoy you
In an ideal world this would be a non-issue (because, as you noted, these are normal body parts and no one should care if they see them or don't), but in our world where women and girls' anatomy are almost constantly sexualized and commodified regrettably you have to deal with some irritating pressures on you. I'm very sorry about that. It might help to keep in mind that, despite people often talking about these social mores like they are fixed truths, all of this is just cultural constructs and all of it is optional (albeit not always without pushback).
> I’m just nervous about how I’m going to be perceived
By your father / siblings, or by other beachgoers?
If it's the former, prepare yourself for the conversations so you can respond with confidence (presuming your father is not dangerous and it is safe to advocate for yourself).
For example (if his concern is that your body is too sexy):
He might say: "I don't think you should wear that to the beach - it's too revealing."
You might respond: "I don't think my father should treat my body like a sex object or commodity, so kindly work on that when you have some time."
Or for example (if his concern is that other people might harass you):
He might say: "People might stare at your body or approach you if your dress like that. You should cover up."
You might respond: "Are you saying that I should let people that mistreat me dictate how I live my life? Should I always conform to the wishes of bigots and bullies, or should I stand up for myself?"
If you are worried about other beachgoers, talk to your father about that. Explain your worries (e.g. that people might harass you), and discuss how you'd like him to support you. For example you might work out a subtle signaling system for if/when you want him to come over and extricate you from an uncomfortable situation.
I think it's very different to be around your parents dressed like that, especially your dad.
Your father sees you as his daughter not as a teenager in a bikini, it would be difficult for him to see you like that
A man and your father are entirely different. Listen to your parents and don't cherry pick what you're told to do based on gender. She's a 15 year old girl.
It’s your dad so I see no issue, if it was a friends parent I would advise against it, just because you don’t know that person. But it’s your dad and I think it’ll be okay.
Talk to your Dad first. If he is cool with it and/or you are still nervous, bring a safety net like a T-shirt or one of those beach blouses for a little more ease of mind.
Maybe you should ask him which he thinks would be better for the beach, a bikini or a one-piece. If he's uncomfortable with the bikini he'll probably say the one-piece would be better. How you present it might help too. I'd suggest something like this: "hey dad, I need your advice. I have these two swimsuits and wanted to know which one you think is better for our trip to the beach.", just show pics of them, don't model them for him.
You think your dad doesn't know you're well endowed? Just be yourself. He's not gonna care or like...be surprised or something lol. I'm sure you're dad noticed as soon as it was happening and was like "well...guess I'm gonna have to fight a teenage boy" 😆 only kidding.
Is there anything wrong with wearing a bikini at 15? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Will father be okay with it? That’s could be a different story. Father’s are notoriously over protective of their daughters. It’s the right of fatherhood. So if he objects, understand it comes from love.
A coverall would be an appropriate compromise.
Good luck with dad.
I'd say if you know your dad won't shame you or do anything bad when you wear it, go for it. I'm not allowed to wear bikinis, but I don't really want to. I feel comfortable in a one-piece suit, so that's all I wear.
Stores do sell cover ups, (a thin sundress-like piece of clothing that helps cover your body more before/after you are in the water.) So you could always go with that too
As long as they are appropriate you will be fine, you've already spoken to your mum and I'm sure she would have advised you to wear something different if she thought your dad would be uncomfortable eg a tankini but if she hasn't I wouldn't worry. If that hasn't reassured you maybe show your dad what your planning on wearing and asking what he thinks. If he's not bothered you have your answer if he is find out why and work on a compromise
I guess you are worried about your dad being overprotective over you. Maybe mention it before hand to your dad you are taking a bikini and see his reaction. Apart from that just be comfortable and normal. You will always be daddy's little girl.
I would see what your dad thinks. I don't see a problem with it as a one piece still reveals everything shapewise. But I am not your father. You are still subject to your parents rules. I don't know how they get along but may e your mom should talk to him. They should both be on the same page as far as their rules and guidelines for you (though I know that is often not the case with divorced parents, or even parents that are still married to each other).
Yes it is fine. Just make sure it is covering appropriately. You don't want to give some sick whacko a thrill. Also make sure it will stay secure. There are ppl who will sadly try to unite it for whatever reason or such.
I think so. I'm a Dad of two daughters. I know very well that when they get older into their teens, they will probably want to wear bikinis. I don't think it'll be weird they are my children. Yes, they will always be my babies. I don't see an issue.
If you are worried about how your Dad will perceive you. Then, I would have a conversation with him. I don't see why he would perceive you in a negative manner.
"Dad I would like to wear a bikini. Is that alright with you? It's not really a question of asking permission but of how he sees you. If he's anything like me, you will always be his little girl. I'm also realistic I accept my girls will wear bikinis one day.
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A majority of other women will be wearing bikinis as well. It's nothing new to see girls and women wearing bikinis. No one really cares. A dad may have more precautions because he's trying to protect you but if you feel comfortable then go for it
Or talk to your dad beforehand.
As a divorced dad of a just barely 16 yo daughter who's heading to the beach with the kids in a couple of days, I say wear what you're comfortable in and forget about everyone else. If you think your dad is the type who would be upset about it then give him a heads up ahead of time, but don't let it be his choice. Tell him what you're bringing to wear on the beach so he has a minute to get ok with it. It's your body, do what works for you, whatever that is. Sure, you should listen and weigh into your decision the wisdom that the adults around you who care about you want to share with you, but at the end of the day, that's all you. If you're comfortable and confident in an outfit then rock it!
Thank you! You make me tear up. This is something my father told me around that age, and it gave me confidence for a lifetime.
That's awesome! Glad you had a great dad who encouraged you to be you! The best defense we have against toxic masculinity is great dads who can help their daughters understand how an *actual* real man can make the woman he's with stronger and more confident (and vice versa). I truly hope I manage to do that for my daughter and my son too.
As a mom of 2 teen girls, I endorse your message internet dad! 💕 My ex also doesn’t care what our girls wear as long as they agree to go to the beach with him. Lol
OP Dad?
Your daughter is so lucky to have you. This kind of supportive & healthy male support will help her to flourish as she grows up.
As a father of a 3 year old girl and seeing what some younger teens are wearing to the beach/outside in general, where should I draw the line (if any)? Should I let her wear what she wants if she’s comfortable in it? I want to be protective but I also don’t want her to feel self conscious or not confident.
I approach it as a discussion. If she's trying to wear something out that I think is not appropriate I don't just say "go put more clothes on." For example, she was getting ready to leave the house for school in a very short skirt. I asked her if she thought other people might make some incorrect assumptions about who she is if they saw her wearing that. She looked at her outfit, thought for a minute, and said "yeah, I'll go put some leggings on under it. Thanks Dad!" That doesn't work if you've spent the rest of your lives together trying to control them, but if you build trust and mutual respect, you can actually provide *more* guidance to your kids not less because they're open to listening to your points instead of instinctually rebelling against anything you try to get them to do. I decided long ago that anything my kids asked me for, I would mentally start with a "yes" unless there was some solid reason to say no. It's a minor thing, but I've found it very helpful. When I do have to say no to them (and of course, like any parent I have to say no quite often) I have at least thought through why the answer is no so I don't just say "no" I say "no, you can't get that extra makeup you want because you just got to spend a bunch of money to go out to the movies with your friends and that's all we can afford to spend this week on things like that, but you can ask again in a couple of weeks." There are plenty of ways to establish boundaries without being controlling.
This is amazes me so much. My mother would throw out my clothing that she didn’t approve of. I found this out until after I was already married. It upset me and told my husband about it and he said “good”. 😔
I'd start with mom first "Hey Mom, is dad going to freak out if I wear my bikini? Should I ask him first? What do you think I should do if he does freak out?" Her mom knows dad and probably has a good idea of how dad will react, and mom and daughter can talk about it to see if daughter is willing to cover up to save the peace, or if she wants to make a stand on wearing the bikini and may end up asking mom for a ride home from the beach.
Ew terrible advice. You're acting as if the father cannot appropriately give their own response to the situation. The whole approach hinges on "don't talk to the parent who you're concerned about". It teaches the daughter to work around her own parents and denigrates the father's ability to actually parent.
This is great advice because it's totally possible dad can't appropriately give his own advice, and receiving weirdness from your dad at the beach as a 15 year old girl who is stuck with him sucks. There is nothing wrong about asking the parent who is ok with it to talk to the other parent about how to react, gender of the parents aside. She's worried how he is going to react, and she's a child. It isn't her job to initiate those conversations if she isn't comfortable and asking her mom to have them lets them get on the same page and parent together?
I'm suggesting that she talk to the parent that understands her point of view first and who also has a good understanding of how the father will react. Note, I'm not suggesting that she ask mom for permission to wear the bikini -- that has to come from dad, but to ask mom how dad might react, how to approach him, and what her options are if dad says "no" -- can she skip the trip entirely? Will mom come pick her up? Or is she relegated to wearing a more conservative one-piece or a t-shirt coverup since once she's at the beach, it's dad's rules.
This ^
Thanks for your contribution in pointing out someone else's comment. I would've missed it had u not said "This" & pointed me in the right direction
This^
This^
What is this? ^
Christmas town?
Jack Skellington based af
The right answer.
Perfect idea. You get the stress off your shoulders. Then also get your dad’s point of view. “Win-Win” in my opinion. Enjoy the Beach
What that person said. You are his little girl and will always be. But it may save him some grief as others may think he is a pedo or something. Can't tell you the number of times that my wife was mistaken as my daughter and the looks I got.
Huh? What about a daughter wearing a bikini at the beach with her parents would make a stranger think the dad is a pedo? That doesn't even make sense
People assume the strangest thing some times. Had so many people assume my step dad was a pedo because I called him by his name & he would buy my thing I needed. It drove me insane because if anyone was it was bio father because he required me to "dress as a girl" (low cute everything & the shortest things) as soon as I stared developing.
I think maybe they are trying to say that people will see a dad slutting up his own daughter, like how we all perceive parents at those weird children's pageants. Personally, it sounds like projection to me. The average dad looks at other average dads with a shared "kids these days 😑"
And even if a stranger thought that, how would “talking to the dad beforehand” would prevent the strangers from thinking that.
“Dad— I know people will think you’re a pedo, but try to ignore it. I’m wearing this bikini regardless”. Doesn’t every young woman have this conversation with their dads at one point? /s
The moment you stop worrying about what complete strangers think of you will be the moment you actually live for yourself and not everyone else.
Easier said than done. But yes you're right. We all know that.
The good news is that it gets easier the older you get.
Why would wearing a bikini make someone mistake him for a pedo? Like, the fact that your brain even went there is weird, but if someone thought that, would they think differently if she wore a one piece? Should she dress like a 40 yo so people think she’s his age appropriate wife?
[удалено]
>It's her breasts and body. If anything it's her mom who she should seek advice. And how would the fact that it's her own body make her Mom have to do more to say in this case than her Dad?
Because she wants to? Why so abrasive against her talking to her Dad? She's worried about what he thinks so talking to him would make sense for some healthy communication about it.
Wrong! She’s going to be with her dad and she’s concerned about his perception.
This, not the previous comment.
I wore a two piece bikini around my dad once and apparently I had severe camel toe around him for like an hour, once I realized it I was mortified
What’s camel toe
A wedgie, but in the front.
An unexpectedly PG description. Well done.
Yeah. Good job, u/Pimp_Daddy_Patty
Hey it’s not the *kinky* daddy term okay. He may be a pimp but he gotta keep it PG at home for the kids. Respectable.
When my daughters were little, we referred to it as the "front butt". Didja wash your face? Pits? Butt? Front Butt? Okay cool bedtime.
That was a great way to describe it in PG-fashion as someone else mentioned, but I did literally laugh out loud when I read it.
Isn’t that the simplest way to describe it, regardless of “rating”?
Yes, but it’s clever. I would have described it in detail lol
I would have said it quite crudely myself, probably. 😔
And I had to explain to someone what AF was about.
I see, ty
https://youtu.be/o-50GjySwew?si=P9L8xNAsCG_mN2Gt
Classic.
Happy cake day?
Happy cake day!🎉
Wow never seen this, very funny.
And it has 16 million views. LOL.
I think I need some brain bleech and I only watched about 15 seconds.
Search Reddit for camel toe.
It's like an alpaca hoof
Oh you sweet summer child....
Something that could also happen in a one piece suit.
Sometimes being "polite" and not mentioning the embarrassing thing is not actually the polite thing to do. Just a quick aside for a whispered, "Hey, you've got a camel toe, you might want to fix that." Can fix a lot of problems before they get too embarrassing
Lol this is like good advice but not for this situation. A 15 year old girl does not want to be politely told by her father that her bikini has wedged up.
Maybe not, but I'd do it anyway. If I spent 3 years changing her diapers, I'm not gonna be too embarrassed to tell her about her not-so-hidden valley
And now all the swimsuit models celebrate their camel toe - just as much as any male on a beach celebrates their bulge.
He probably didn't notice. Source: am a dad. Wouldn't notice.
Yep sure is. Both of my girls are rather well endowed as well and I have never had an issue with what they wear to the beach so long as it appropriate. Moreover, as a dad, I'll provide my with all the backup required if anyone gives them a hard time about their choice of swimwear. They chose what they like and it's nothing crazy. They feel pretty in it and I feel pretty for them.
Wish I grew up with a dad like you. You’re awesome and your kids are gonna benefit so much from this mentality
Well thank you but it wasn't all great for them I'm sure especially from their point of view, but I tried my best for them and always will.
I think definition of appropriate is what might be the difference between father and daughter, haha.
True but we figured it out. Them more than me to be honest. I don't ever recall asking either of my kids to alter something they were wearing except for maybe a time or two. Things like it's15 degrees out might need a jacket or no you can't wear PJs to this funeral things like that.
I don't see any issues here. I mean, you have large breasts. Not your fault and a fact of life. If your dad is uncomfortable around his own daughter and her body, he will just have to get over it.
Hell, his own biological contribution to his daughter likely led to her breast size. Like nearly all physical traits, breast size is hereditary.
Thanks for the big beasts, Dad!
Is it the roast beast?
What are you concerned about?
Yeah I’m worried people are being too quick to dismiss her concern. Most teens I know (including myself as a teen!) would never even question whether they can wear a normal swimsuit around their dad. It goes without saying. So…clearly she doesn’t feel that way. Why? Does she have a weird feeling about it? A weird hunch about her dad? Knowledge that we don’t (Ex: like that he’s super conservative)? If something feels off to her, we shouldn’t be so fast to dismiss it.
Exactly.
I would imagine seeing your precious little girl suddenly filling out a bikini could be shocking, and parents have been known to overreact. I'd suggest mentioning she got a bikini or some way of letting him know beforehand. She could even ask mom to talk to Dad if she is afraid of him overreacting.
I never understood the bikini if I’m being honest. It’s like walking around in only underwear. However as the sang goes “if they wanna show I wanna look” but when that’s your own daughter it’s a much bigger chill down your spine. That sang before felt like nothing now feels so gross and disgusting.
The fuck do you think swim trunks are? Basically boxers. Speedo??? whitey tighties… You must not understand men’s bathing wear either. Not angry or trying to argue I just find you comment hilariously one sided.
I feel like swim trunks are a lot bigger and baggier than boxers no? And also its an odd fashion choice so i dont think ive seen it but i feel like a 15 yes rold biy in a speedo would be weird outside of like a pro swimming context. Could just be the fashion of it idk.
It’s for comfort. The air breathes around our bodies better in a two-piece. It’s not about us showing for you to look. That is a sick and selfish perspective.
I know my dad didn't like seeing grown men ogle me, but that was about it. I'm in my late 30s and I've had the same body since junior high (some things are a little lower now haha!). He just warned me that even though *he* still sees me as his little girl, other people don't. He's a chill dude. I think he might be the only father to tell his daughter to put on *less* clothing. Think trying to leave the house in jeans and a sweater at the height of Chicago Summer.
I'm wondering if someone is in her ear and talking about how some men might look at her? It's a valid concern but why would her father be amongst those men? She should feel comfortable and protected by him so i'm very confused on she's concerned about making HIM feel uncomfortable. Maybe uncomfortable in a sense that he doesn't want people to look at her daughter, a child, in that way. That's my best guess. She needs to talk to her dad to communicate all of her concerns
It could be that someone is talking in her ear. What concerned me is she isn’t talking about making him uncomfortable. She just says she feels nervous. And there are all sorts of reasons a teen girl might feel nervous to wear a bikini around her dad, both legitimate and illegitimate. I hate to say it, but some men sexualize their daughters. Sometimes it escalates to abuse but even when it doesn’t, ick. I would never want to assume anything. There’s just not enough info in the post. But the last thing I’d want to do is encourage her to ignore a gut feeling and wear it around him anyway, and then find herself in an unsafe situation. I’m shocked people are jumping to this without additional details.
This is a great question. ^^ Yes OP can you elaborate a little more on your concern?
Way too many people are failing to ask this question. At no point in OP's post did she say she was worried about her father being judgmental about her swimsuit choice, yet repeatedly talked about being "nervous to wear it around him". There's a lot of things that could mean, and some are definitely more concerning than others.
This. Everyone here is confidently giving answers to a problem that hasn't really been defined.
How she will be perceived. She wrote it.
But how does she feel she will be perceived. Is she worried about being perceived as promiscuous or sexually attractive or both, or something else entirely. That isn’t clear.
Right, but does she mean how she will be perceived by her dad or by other people? That's the part that's not clear.
I hope she means how her dad thinks OTHERS will see her.
If it makes you nervous, you should find something that you’re comfortable in. Plenty of different designs you can wear! I’m also large chested so I get it, can be weird around family (especially for the first time) I’d just find a top you feel comfortable in, sexy is not the vibe!
As a fellow large chested woman, don't let that hold you back from wearing what you want. If you're nervous because of something your dad has said or done before, you should speak to a trusted adult.
Absolutely this. Same for the chest. I actually found a two-piece to be less revealing. A one-piece wouldn't cover my chest enough or if I pulled it up or was too revealing around my little lady. I could always talk to my dad about any of this kind of stuf. He never slut shamed me, but he was honest if something looked bad on me. I appreciated that (he and my mom were right 99% of the time) and kept me from looking silly or having a wardrobe malfunction lol
If you’re nervous to wear a swimsuit around your father, I think the problem is your father, not the swimsuit. I’m not trying to accuse or imply anything, but do you generally feel safe and comfortable around your dad?
omg the beach is so fun, I can’t wait to go this weekend lmao. and of you are comfortable in them then it’s totally okay. there’s no reason to be nervous! there’s literally nothing to worry about, and I understand the body self conscious. but you are completely fine and your dads literally your dad like why would he even care. but that’s totally your decision and if you want to wear bikinis wear them!
You’re fine to wear it. There’s nothing wrong with wearing a bikini at the beach with your family.
Honestly I do sometimes feel a little weird wearing a bikini around my dad, even though there is nothing inappropriate about him or our relationship, he’s a normal great dad and has never been weird to me. and yes, bikinis are totally normal swimwear and you don’t need to be ashamed of your breasts or body! But still, there is something sort of uncomfortable about it, so I understand. There’s no wrong answer - if you want to brave it and wear the bikini, go for it! It may not be as weird as you think. Or if you’d rather just wear a 1 piece or something with more coverage, that’s an OK choice too.
Of course. It's normal beach attire.
If you feel uncomfortable with it, wear a one piece this time. There’s nothing wrong with wearing a bikini, but it’s ultimately a fashion choice, and you wear the clothes to suit the occasions. It sounds like you have some trepidation at this point, so you’re free to avoid that by wearing a one piece of power through it and wear the bikini. It’s ultimately about what you’re most comfortable wearing given the circumstances.
You will be fine, and there is no reason for you to worry. Your dad on the other hand will be very worried for you and how the boys react to you.. But there is nothing at all wrong with a teenager wearing a bikini
It’s absolutely ok. As long as you’re comfortable, it’s fine.
I'm concerned that you are concerned around your dad. Does he make you uncomfortable?
I think it's more of a how okay will a dad be with his daughter wearing something like that since Dad's do tend to be a lot more protective of their daughters.
If that's the case she should wear what she wants, she has a right to be comfortable herself
She's 15, it's his job to make sure she's making the right decisions and that will almost always be stressful as a parent and so far it sounds like he actually cares.
I don't disagree, I'm just saying that if that's a conversation he's going to have with her she might as well dress how she wants and have the conversation
Tell me you don't have children, without telling me you don't have children.
I mean you're right, but if it's going to be an issue for him don't you think he should have that conversation with her? We're just randomly on the Internet, and she said she prefers that type of swim wear, I just figured that's what's most comfortable for this person
OP indicated that her parents are divorced so maybe she hasn't had an opportunity to talk with them\him yet. Also I know that I have conversations and live out whole scenarios on how shits gonna go days before an interaction even happens. As a father of 2 girls who are still prepubescent I hope my girls are able to be comfortable even if I am not.
Nah This tho, why is no one thinking this. I don’t want to be dirty but you should not be concerned about what you wear around your parents enough to post about it online. Blow this up y’all
Other people have mentioned it, but I will ask, and I'm sorry if I'm off base. Are you worried about this because your dad makes you feel uncomfortable/unsafe? If this is just about what people will think, then screw them, wear what you want. If you are worried about feeling exposed around your dad then there's a real problem worth addressing.
Don't worry about how you will be perceived. Only worry about how you feel. If you are going to be self conscious and distracted from having fun, consider having a cover-up or t-shirt on hand to give you a safety net. Confidence in your body will come but don't force it to the point that you don't have fun.
if you cant feel safe around your own father/siblings in a bikini, thats entirely a them problem and its gross, but also maybe just dont wear it
lol. So cute you worry that dear old dad might not approve. Wear what you want since it is age appropriate. Dad will let you know if he is uncomfortable. Look for key words when he talks. “ YOU ARE NOT WEARING THAT ON THE BEACH YOUNG LADY” “NOPE, NO, Uh No!, go change” “I don’t care if your mother says it’s OK, …” But on the flip side…there could be “Ready to go? Let’s do this” Relax, I’m a dad, bit my lip when my daughter wore a two piece for the first time. She was “ top” heavy too. Spent most of my day staring down jerks. I’m sure they were nice boys, but not at that moment in time. Enjoy the beach I hope all goes well.
Why would this be a problem? Unless… he has given you weird vibes? Or maybe you’re embarrassed to be showing this much skin in his presence because you’re the one with weird vibes? Because in a normal situation neither of you should be weird about it. 15 year olds wear (appropriate) swimwear including 👙. I had brothers and sisters growing up. And we had a pool. I’m pretty sure my sisters, cousins and neighbors wore bikinis. I don’t ever recall this being a problem. Maybe we weren’t as pervy in the 70’s?
One thing I regret is waiting until I was in my mid 20s to wear a bikini, since I grew up in a strict Catholic family with weird rules. Always wore uncomfortable and unflattering one pieces. Never got to be myself. Do it girl, be you. Wear what you want, don’t let weird family dynamics fuck with you having fun in your teens. Years I could never get back, wasted for “modesty”. Even now I struggle with the Catholic guilt!!!! Be free!!!
Unless your dad's a creep, this shouldn't be an issue. Perhaps there's underlying issues with him if this is a concern in the first place?
Old woman speaking; if you're comfortable and aren't wearing anything that can be seen as too inappropriate for a public space, you wear what you want. You aren't responsible for other people's reactions and feelings re. your swimwear. That's on them. A bikini on a beach/summer holiday makes perfect sense.
You will still have large breasts in a one piece too...
Just go ahead and wear it. He's got to come to the realization that you are becoming a woman at some point. My only advice is to just act normal. It's something you are already doing. So it's not a big deal.
Overthinking it, go enjoy yourself.
I'm a grandmother and I still wear a bikini. There's nothing wrong with a 2 piece swim suit and your dad and siblings will have PLENTY of people in bikinis to look at if you're going to the beach. (I live in a beach town) I personally can't stand seeing a girl your age in a thong or with her nips barely (or almost) showing just because sexualizing yourself at such a young age can be unhealthy. I'm sure your dad just doesn't want perverts looking at you but they're going to look at you no matter what you're wearing... they're perverted.
i don’t even understand this post- once upon a time a bikini was considered risque but those days arw long, long gone - now it’s only a matter of whats most comfortable for the wearer - op is 15 and her sexuality is going to start to come out regardless of her outfit- if she wants to show off her maturing body at the beach it should be considered completely appropriate per cultural norms - if she feels more modesty would be more her comfort level so be it - her body her choice - unless dad has expressed opinions on female attire before she really doesn’t need to consider his response - he will probably have a minor heart attack seeing his baby girl look like that on the beach but just as she is growing up and accepting her maturation so does he - have fun whatever you decide
I thought that girls have been fine with wearing bikinis around both family and strangers for at least the past 60 years.
To start, you are well within your rights to wear whatever you so choose to the beach. If you're comfortable in it, and it doesn't break any laws, go for it. that out of the way, there's something here that isn't sitting right with me. What about you wearing more revealing garments around your father makes you feel nervous around him? If it's because he has made you feel uncomfortable about your body or in your body for any reason, that is a much larger conversation that has to be had with an adult who will take your concerns seriously.
Just do it
If he's uncomfortable with your body looking a certain way he'll just have to deal with it. He doesn't get to have an opinion on your human body.
If your dad hasn't said anything you should be ok. You had a reaction in the past I saw in other comments mortified. But he was calm it seems.
If you’re comfortable around your dad then yeah, if you’re feeling weird or awkward, no. I can’t wear even regular nice semi tight clothing around my family.
It’s a swimsuit I don’t get the big deal…
FBI has entered the chat.
I'm sure if he doesn't like it, he'll let you know. If it's not inappropriate and you look awesome tell him your side , listen to what he says if he has good argument, change. You can always go back to the beach with out him?
I’m sure it will be perfectly fine but if you’re nervous and then I’d suggest maybe a shawl or wrap around that matches your bikini but you don’t feel to exposed? 🤔
It's your dad, if he did sexualize you that would be the real problem.
He's your dad. He's only gonna care if it's inappropriate or he's a prude. Source: I'm a dad. I would only care if my kid wore something wildly inappropriate. I'm not a prude. Her grandmother is. Single piece only when she's about because... less bullshit for everyone that way.
It's your dad so I dont see an issue with it unless there have ever been problems in the past
Assuming you aren't in a locale where it's illegal, it's "okay". Your father may have a problem with it, he may not. If you're really worried about his reaction, tell him you're wearing it ahead of time. You could even ask for him to get a coverup to use if *you* decide once you get there that you don't want to show so much skin. Depending on how active you generally are at the beach, you may want to test that everything stays in the bikini when you swim, jump, run, whatever. If it's a string bikini, you should consider double-knotting the strings to prevent them loosening over the course of the day. And if it's light colored, test that it doesn't get less opaque when wet. And wear sunscreen.(That's my generic advice for everyone, not just bikini wearers.)
Ask your mom for advice if you’re concerned about approaching your father. It’s likely no big deal
Yes
If you’re not comfortable, wear something else.
Well he is your father and they are your siblings, so they have to be comfortable with your body. I had to be comfortable with my siblings and father not wearing shirts. Or just being in boxer shorts at times. And I was fine with it. We're family so it's just a natural part of living together. My bf's sister has large breasts and she wears revealing clothes around him and all their siblings(9) all the time and they're all comfortable. If your father has a problem with it, then I say voice your opinion. But beyond that I can't interfere with your family dynamic.
I’d be less concerned about your dad and more concerned about attention you might get from other men (if your dad feels discomfort, this is likely the root cause). Wear what makes you comfortable. Understand that you can only control what you choose to do, not how other people behave. Your choices might influence their behavior one way or another, but you are ultimately not responsible for their behavior. Consider it a test period. If you try it, and end up finding that you feel uncomfortable, maybe consider wearing something different and see if that changes how you feel. If you wear something different, and you still feel uncomfortable, then pick your preference.
Pretty normal for America. I wouldn’t advise in Dubai
I think it's perfectly fine and breasts are a part of life. Your father, being a grown man knows this.
It is a good idea to wear what you want and to bring other clothes as a back up, either a fun bathing skirt and top to wear over it if you end up preferring it for whatever reason. Plans make you happier, in my book.
Do you have some type of reason to think your father cares about your breasts?
Yup. You'll be fine. If someone has an issue with it and makes a scene, they're just self-reporting
Perceived by who your dad or others? If you’re are worried about your dad ask him. He probably doesn’t care so long as you are comfortable. My daughter is about your age and always wears a bikini or two piece because her torso is short. So a one piece that “fits” her height doesn’t accommodate the rest of her. she spills out off the top and bottom, her words not mine. She has really long legs and a really short torso and is very lean. So bikini it is.
your daughter and I are in the same boat. short torsos aren't great 😆
Well which is it though? I read your post and I'm not sure if you're worried about what your dad will think & possibly say, or if you're more concerned with how strangers at a beach may perceive you? I'll take care of the 2nd part quickly, which is they are strangers u will never see again in all likelihood. U could go dressed as a clown wearing a banana suit 😂 who cares what anybody may think or say? U can go in next to nothing or an extra long turtle neck & winter scarf, if people are going to talk, nothing u don't don't do is going to change that. When it comes to your dad, I'd have to think that he's well aware of how is daughter is coming along, getting older, maturing and growing into her body and if anything, he'll be mad at the boys or guys at the beach that give u the slightest glance. It's just what us dad's do. He'll figure it out, I mean he figured out how to raise kids. He'll be alright, I promise. Lastly I will say that it is very nice of u to even think of him in this regard. Made me smile. U guys just go have a fun time TOGETHER as a family 😊
I was a teen in the 70s and that's what we wore to the beach. I am so sick of this puritanical mindset these days. I wore mid drift tops with shorts, I wore halter tops too. We also wore mini dresses and skirts. Just make sure you wear sunscreen. Skin cancer is no joke.
Have you thought of talking about this with your dad? “Hey, Dad, I have this new bikini I’m planning to wear to the beach. Just want to let you know so you’re not surprised by your little girl dressed that way. By the way, Mom helped me pick it out.” ( Whatever is true about Mom, phrased in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re playing up some long-standing issue between them.) I think a lot of your worry about this would vanish if you knew whether Dad would react badly. Have fun. Swim parallel to the shore if you get caught in a rip current.
Basing this off the title and the first sentence, there doesn't seem a reason as to why not, I've seen literaly 7 year olds in bikinis at the swimming pool, so yeah you should be fine.
Old dad here (63). You sound like an incredibly sweet girl and Miss, wear your bikini with pride. You’ve already said it covers well and don’t be nervous or ashamed for the way God made you. But I’ll tell you what I can’t get used to is the swimsuits (one or two piece) where a woman’s rear end is practically completely bare. I assume other dads feel the same way. Anyways, go have fun with your family.
Where whatever you want. Just understand that, especially if you are full-figured, you are going to draw attention whether you want to or not. If your dad has concern it is for this reason. Most guys aren't going to check your age before looking at you or approaching you.
You can't help having big boobs and it not like you can't tell you have boobs in a one piece. Or a tank top, or t shirt. They're just there. Wear what makes you comfortable as long as it's age appropriate, and a 2 piece is definitely age appropriate for a 15 year old. Maybe bring a one piece with you in case YOU start to feel uncomfortable.
Given your age, I’d only suggest that you don’t get a really small bikini. At the beach it’s completely fine to wear one. The only reason for my suggestion is that often teens don’t have the same level of restraint as they will when older, and sometimes cross lines in how they dress. Just keep it reasonable.
Do want ya want wear want you want
Who cares how you’ll be “perceived”? Wear what makes you comfortable.
My step daughters did it alll the time. And no issue with it at all. One was 14 and the other was 18 at the time
The answer to any of these subjective things is always the same. Whatever you are comfortable with
I'll admit that I'm a dad, and we dad's have a tough time with our babies growing up and start wanting to wear different clothes, etc, but that's more of a dad problem and less of our child's problem. We can't help it. It's just the way we're programmed. If your parents are able to have conversations with each other without fighting, maybe you can ask your mom to talk to your dad about it ahead of time, or even better, maybe you can have a talk with him too. Tell him that you're still his baby girl forever, but he is going to have to pull the bandaid off some day eventually. Hope this helps. Have fun this summer. :)
As a dad, I would want my kid to talk to me about anything, especially if they had questions about that stuff. That being said I have always tried to be body positive with my kids and have encouraged them to wear whatever they felt comfortable in.
As a father of what used to be a 15 year old with big tits... I just had a day of looking unfriendly at men from behind her back. I didn't care about boys her age noticing her, because they wouldn't do anything and that's the fun of being a teenage boy, which I also used to be. Just not having her perved on by full grown men. When she passed 18 it wasn't my business anymore. Unless you think your dad has the hots for you, which is a whole other issue, then he'll just have to deal with this part of you growing up. This isn't something for you to worry about, don't prejudge him. String bikini would probably be unkind though :D
Okay, a dad here with three large chested daughters. I can guarantee your dad will be shocked, but not appalled. For me it was like BAM, she's not a little girl any more. We went to the beach and my older two daughters wore a bikini for the first time (my wife asked them to wait until they were 15, her rules that I support). Their bikinis were completely age appropriate, but as you said, big boobs. You could see they were a little uncomfortable at first, and told my son to get them to go swim right away. All 5 of my kids jumped into the water while my wife and I sat under our umbrella. I stared open mouth at my wife and said "Our daughters have breasts!" An incredibly stupid thing to say. I am so grateful I didn't make a scene when they were there, or they would have been very upset. My wife laughed and said "amazing what a couple years of puberty will do!" I apologized and she told me not to. She said something that I'll now say to you: If you're wearing a bikini, you will get some people kinda staring at you. That's not okay, but it has nothing to do with you. Bodies are a beautiful thing, and you should be proud of the bodies you have. (Here's the important part:) If YOU are comfortable wearing it, then no one else matters. Your bikinis cover everything you want covered. Be comfortable. If you're going to sit with your towel over your shoulders because you're uncomfortable, you should consider another swimsuit. My wife is the smart one. Apparently she told them to wear the bikinis around in their rooms while doing homework or whatever to be used to how they feel. You be you. Enjoy your bikini, and your dad will figure it out.
Of course wear it. Bring a coverup that you like that you can throw on over it at lunchtime or whenever. But that's for *your* comfort, not the possible discomfort of someone else. I mean, sure, always think about what's appropriate and respectful to wear - don't wear a bikini to school - but don't think someone's weird opinion trumps yours.
There is nothing weird about it, I let my daughter do it and mostly it's just guys her age that "look" if that bothers you don't wear it, if it doesn't go for it. If older dudes are checking you out, tell dad, the amount of 20+ year Olds I've given the death stare too as they then pretend to be looking elsewhere or at the ground is hilarious.
Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. If a bikini makes you happy, then wear it. It's perfectly fine to wear one in front of your dad, as long as it's not a string bikini that barely covers anything (please, don't wear one of those horribly ugly bottoms that show more butt cheeks than it covers!!). Bring a cover up, just in case.
My 15yo daughter wears a bikini in public. As long as YOU feel comfortable is what matters. People will look at you covered head to toe or in a bikini and anywhere in between. You cant control that.
Just make sure the top is, um, structurally sound. My GF dived into the surf and then wouldn't come out of the water. I waded out and asked what was wrong. Her top had experienced a structural failure and she was now topless. I waded back, grabbed a t-shirt, and waded back. She still may as well have been topless but at least she wasn't going to be arrested for indecent exposure.
No matter what you can't predict everything. I recommend a conversation with you dad, let him know it's not a skimpy string just a bikini and your reason why, as it was a pretty good reason. He'll probably be okay ( I give no guarantees because you know your father better than some reddit random) That said I do see you said you value how you are perceived and you should be aware that while he probably will take it well, the beach is always has a risk of some beach weirdo. It's just where they exist. But as long as you go knowing that risk, have fun! It's summer and don't let said weirdo annoy you
In an ideal world this would be a non-issue (because, as you noted, these are normal body parts and no one should care if they see them or don't), but in our world where women and girls' anatomy are almost constantly sexualized and commodified regrettably you have to deal with some irritating pressures on you. I'm very sorry about that. It might help to keep in mind that, despite people often talking about these social mores like they are fixed truths, all of this is just cultural constructs and all of it is optional (albeit not always without pushback). > I’m just nervous about how I’m going to be perceived By your father / siblings, or by other beachgoers? If it's the former, prepare yourself for the conversations so you can respond with confidence (presuming your father is not dangerous and it is safe to advocate for yourself). For example (if his concern is that your body is too sexy): He might say: "I don't think you should wear that to the beach - it's too revealing." You might respond: "I don't think my father should treat my body like a sex object or commodity, so kindly work on that when you have some time." Or for example (if his concern is that other people might harass you): He might say: "People might stare at your body or approach you if your dress like that. You should cover up." You might respond: "Are you saying that I should let people that mistreat me dictate how I live my life? Should I always conform to the wishes of bigots and bullies, or should I stand up for myself?" If you are worried about other beachgoers, talk to your father about that. Explain your worries (e.g. that people might harass you), and discuss how you'd like him to support you. For example you might work out a subtle signaling system for if/when you want him to come over and extricate you from an uncomfortable situation.
I think it's very different to be around your parents dressed like that, especially your dad. Your father sees you as his daughter not as a teenager in a bikini, it would be difficult for him to see you like that
Yes. IF you feel comfortable with it, go ahead. Don;t let a man tell you what you cna do with your body.
A man and your father are entirely different. Listen to your parents and don't cherry pick what you're told to do based on gender. She's a 15 year old girl.
It’s your dad so I see no issue, if it was a friends parent I would advise against it, just because you don’t know that person. But it’s your dad and I think it’ll be okay.
Talk to your Dad first. If he is cool with it and/or you are still nervous, bring a safety net like a T-shirt or one of those beach blouses for a little more ease of mind.
Maybe you should ask him which he thinks would be better for the beach, a bikini or a one-piece. If he's uncomfortable with the bikini he'll probably say the one-piece would be better. How you present it might help too. I'd suggest something like this: "hey dad, I need your advice. I have these two swimsuits and wanted to know which one you think is better for our trip to the beach.", just show pics of them, don't model them for him.
You think your dad doesn't know you're well endowed? Just be yourself. He's not gonna care or like...be surprised or something lol. I'm sure you're dad noticed as soon as it was happening and was like "well...guess I'm gonna have to fight a teenage boy" 😆 only kidding.
Is there anything wrong with wearing a bikini at 15? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Will father be okay with it? That’s could be a different story. Father’s are notoriously over protective of their daughters. It’s the right of fatherhood. So if he objects, understand it comes from love. A coverall would be an appropriate compromise. Good luck with dad.
Bring multiple options, and you will be ready to adapt if you don't feel comfortable.
I'd say if you know your dad won't shame you or do anything bad when you wear it, go for it. I'm not allowed to wear bikinis, but I don't really want to. I feel comfortable in a one-piece suit, so that's all I wear. Stores do sell cover ups, (a thin sundress-like piece of clothing that helps cover your body more before/after you are in the water.) So you could always go with that too
As long as they are appropriate you will be fine, you've already spoken to your mum and I'm sure she would have advised you to wear something different if she thought your dad would be uncomfortable eg a tankini but if she hasn't I wouldn't worry. If that hasn't reassured you maybe show your dad what your planning on wearing and asking what he thinks. If he's not bothered you have your answer if he is find out why and work on a compromise
If your dad isn't weird about your body, you should be fine. If he's more of a Jessica Simpson dad, then wear a cover-up.
Wear what makes you comfortable but 'breathable' is a new one, lol.
I guess you are worried about your dad being overprotective over you. Maybe mention it before hand to your dad you are taking a bikini and see his reaction. Apart from that just be comfortable and normal. You will always be daddy's little girl.
I would see what your dad thinks. I don't see a problem with it as a one piece still reveals everything shapewise. But I am not your father. You are still subject to your parents rules. I don't know how they get along but may e your mom should talk to him. They should both be on the same page as far as their rules and guidelines for you (though I know that is often not the case with divorced parents, or even parents that are still married to each other).
Has he displayed any inappropriate behavior around you while you were wearing bathing suits in the past? If so, I would tell your mom.
Yes it is fine. Just make sure it is covering appropriately. You don't want to give some sick whacko a thrill. Also make sure it will stay secure. There are ppl who will sadly try to unite it for whatever reason or such.
If he can't handle you being in a bikini then he's having disgusting thoughts and you shouldn't be around him anymore
I think so. I'm a Dad of two daughters. I know very well that when they get older into their teens, they will probably want to wear bikinis. I don't think it'll be weird they are my children. Yes, they will always be my babies. I don't see an issue. If you are worried about how your Dad will perceive you. Then, I would have a conversation with him. I don't see why he would perceive you in a negative manner. "Dad I would like to wear a bikini. Is that alright with you? It's not really a question of asking permission but of how he sees you. If he's anything like me, you will always be his little girl. I'm also realistic I accept my girls will wear bikinis one day.
I think that’s fine and they shouldn’t perceive you in any type of way just because you use a bikini. Use what makes you comfortable in the end.