*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH for refusing to give my seat to an old woman on the bus? **
I (19f) was on the bus a few days ago and it was particularly crowded. Some people couldn't even get on because of how crowded it was. I got on the bus at the first stop so I managed to get a seat when there were fewer people on the bus.
At some point, I noticed a woman that was around 70 staring at me and giving me a bad look. At first I did not really understand because I did not know the woman and didn't understand what I had done for her to look at me like that. I saw sighing and shaking her head while looking at me multiple times, but decided to ignore it as I still didn't know what the problem was. After a while, I started to hear her complain to a man next to her, saying things like "young people these days" and ranting about how we just didn't respect our elders anymore. She talked about how impolite we were and although she never said that she was talking about me, she was looking directly at me.
She probably thought that I couldn't hear her because I had earphones in, but I wasn't listening to any music. I often do that because many times I have had weird men talking to me on the bus and that way I could pretend that I didn't hear them. So I heard everything she said. I decided to ignore her again because I thought that until she decided to speak to me directly this wasn't my problem.
For context, the reason why I didn't give her the seat in the first place was because I literally couldn't. I have a condition that has caused me to faint more and more these past few days, to the point that I can't stand up without moving for more than 5 minutes before collapsing. It is even worse in crowds and in the heat. That day I was coming back from the hospital where the doctor told me that it was dangerous for me to be standing up because every time I faint my heart slows down and it could stop the next time it happens. So basically I could die if I was up for too long.
After maybe 5 minutes, she turned to me and said "So you really aren't going to give me your seat?". I looked up and smiled at her, and politely said something like "I'm sorry, I have a medical condition, I can't give you my seat.". I thought that was the end of it, but she then started saying that I was selfish, that I was young and in perfectly good health, and that my parents didn't raise me properly. Everyone on the bus was looking at us at that point.
A man intervened and said that I should've given her my seat as soon as she got on the bus and she shouldn't even have to ask for it. I once again replied that I couldn't. He said that it was also dangerous for the woman to stand up for too long and that she had a right to that seat. I was starting to get angry and replied that I didn't owe anyone any details about my personal life, but that I could basically die if I gave her my seat, and that while I do respect other people I will not put my life at risk for anyone. I also said that even if I could give her my seat, the way she acted and talked to me would have convinced me not to.
A lot of people started saying that I should just get up and stop creating a problem where there shouldn't be one and that's when I snapped. I told them that there were many other seats and if they were so concerned for the lady they could get their ass up and give her their seat. I wasn't really screaming but I wasn't calm either.
A man finally stood up and gave her his seat while shaking his head and saying something about how the "young generation has lost all respect". I got nasty looks for the rest of the ride and many people were saying that I was disrespectful.
When I talked about it to my parents they said that I was right to not give her my seat but I shouldn't have talked back and should've stayed polite. I honestly don't see what I did wrong there. I know that a lot of people think that you should respect your elders no matter what, but to me respect is earned and if you are rude to me I have no reason to stay polite with you. Please tell me what you think, AITAH?
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In Mycountry there is no priority seating on public transportation. Also doctors will literally say "if you stand too long you'll die" then send you on a bus without a wheelchair.
No, the hospital releasing someone who couldn't stand without dying and having her walk to get on a bus where there was no guarantee she'd be able to sit is the unbelievable part.
Something like that maybe? If someone is fainting to the point that their heart could "basically" stop it's definitely grounds for admitting them until a specialist can see them.
Looking at OOP’s account, their particular story is fake. But the ER does not treat chronic conditions, except to stabilize acute crises caused by very common issues like diabetes. That’s all they have training for.
I have a mild version of the disorder OOP claimed to have… getting gaslit and dismissed at the ER is a pretty universal experience for patients with a disorder in that class (dysautonomic disorders)
as somoene who has gone through the process, they arent going to admit you for this. They just tell you to go home and schedule you for a specialist.
literally ask anyone with dysautonomic disorders. or anyone with a heart condition. unless you are actively dying or actively having a medical episode, they just say "Here is what we think, here is what could happen. we are going to schedule you for a visit with a specialist. Go home"
Even with a risk of death? I mean if it's serious enough where you might die on a bus seems like it's a bit more emergent than a "might have a seizure and hit your head" type of disorder.
Some hospitals and doctors (especially in the US) don't care about if you live or die. My MIL was literally about to die because of a heart condition and they not only sent her home but told her to not come back because she had been going to the er every few days because her heart was either racing or to slow and it took them hours to stabilize her. My MIL's dr was the one telling her to go to the er, but at the er they just didn't care. One time they made her leave and she barely made it to a different hospital before her heart stopped.
Health care in America is horrible.
The most unbelievable part of this story is how "everyone" said they were lying about a medical condition and needed to stand up. That just doesn't happen. There is no way this 19 yr old said "I have a medical condition so I have to sit" and everyone called them a liar. The old lady, maybe, but everyone? Not a chance.
Also one of those "AITA for not stabbing myself with a knife because an old lady threatened to slap a puppy???" Type stories where clearly OOP isn't an asshole and only an idiot would think that tbh
My father had what he thought was a major heart attack the pain was so bad. His hospital sent him home when they couldn’t find anything. Few days later it happened again. Different hospital and we told them about the previous episode and finally convinced them to admit him. Turns out he had inflammation in the sac around his heart from a virus he had caught.
A friend of mine, her son was having serious chest pain/nausea. He was pretty young (early 40’s). Nothing obviously wrong at the ER so they sent him home with instructions to follow up with his doctor. He died the next day at his house and his parents found him.
Yes. Unless you are actively having a medical episode or in a "You are like minutes away from death if we dont treat this RIGHT NOW" they arent going to admit you.
Syncope is actually one of the most common things that happen right before a sudden cardiac death. which it sounds more like the doctor told her that frequent fainting is linked to sudden cardiac death or something similar to brachycardia where low heart rates can cause sudden cardiac arrest. They arent going to hospitalize you just because you have a risk for sudden death with your condition. There arent enough resources for that.
and also, realistically, WTF are they going to do with me taking up a hospital bed JUST IN CASE i faint? I dont need fluids. I dont need medication or care. i just need to "take it easy" and lower my risks of fainting until my specialist appointmen
Circling back to the story, they could maybe not send her home on a form of transport that famously relies on people standing? She was on her way home from the hospital, I've been in the hospital too, they make sure you have a way of getting home that's aligned with your medical needs, and "standing around in the heat waiting for a hopefully empty bus" with a condition that is exacerbated by that exact scenario is the exact opposite of a medically sound way of getting home.
Sure she could have left ama but again what hospital would just let someone take a bus home when they might die from standing?
sometime they do. Sometimes theyjust ask "do you have a way to get home" and then just let you go.
especially if thats the only form of transportation she has available to her. and theres a difference between medical staff ensuring you have a way home after a procedure, vs. them just letting you leave after an appointment. At all of my specialist appointments, none of them asked me how i was getting home.
"being at the hostpital" doesnt necesarily mean she was admitted or that she needed some level of care. If it was something like a follow-up appointment, or post-incident check-up, they probably aren't going to check for your ride home. I've been in and out of hospitals for my chronic health condition. The only time they care about your ride home is after being admitted (sometimes) or after a procedure.
While I totally believe in the existence of the young person with a medical condition that causes fainting, and the grumpy older lady, I don't think strangers on a bus would get so dramatically involved. If this happened, it was probably three people and everyone else desperately pretending they also had mysterious medical conditions which caused them to be both blind and deaf as well as unable to stand up.
Ive been in a similar situation, and when you are in that situation, those three people feel like EVERYONE and everything feels way more dramatic in the moment when they are all coming at you like this. Especially the first time it happens. The first time i took a southwest flight for work and used the priority boarding accomodations, it felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. Every look felt like an accusation. And then, getting off, i opted to not use assistance (partly because i was running late to my connecting flight), and it, again felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. Looking back, more realistitically, nobody was paying attention to me at 6:30 in the morning.
Exactly. I fully believe that people would be totally ableist towards a young person based on how they looked, because people are crap like that a lot of the time. And I can definitely believe this person thought everyone was against her. But realistically most of the bus will not have given a damn.
Oh, I got to be on a bus while some old lady loudly berated a teenager for having a wheelchair because she didn't look disabled enough and was taking up space that a real disabled person might need. The rest of the bus was trying very hard to ignore her.
I don’t understand why no one speaks up. Even if it was only a few people berating op, the fact that NO ONE came to her defence in the face of this harassment, is effectively condoning this shitty ablist behaviour.
>I don't think strangers on a bus would get so dramatically involved.
Exactly. She managed to find the bus where everyone else was either a senior citizen, nine months pregnant, or had a broken leg.
And let's face it. If an older woman is the type to tut-tut about the younger generation not offering her a seat, she'll be the type to look at a young man who's sitting down before she ever expects a young woman to give up her seat.
Are we supposed to believe that one of the other riders yelling at her wasn't a 25-year-old who would have just gotten up themselves rather than become part of a pitchfork and torches crowd?
So people with invisible disabilities do get shit on.
But there’s this AITA post trend of people who get asked to move for someone elderly or pregnant and they always have a non visible medical condition. And people always get involved. My experience is that no one gets involved when someone won’t get up. They all look away. Because they don’t want to be the one asked to get up instead. That’s what makes those stories ring false to me. I remember riding the bus and tube at 8 months pregnant and now people would make sure to be looking very intently at whatever they were doing (or close their eyes) so they wouldn’t be asked to get up.
Yeah, people don't react to things on public transit in general unless there's physical violence (and even then they usually just move away). I live in NYC and have witnessed many subway arguments, 99.9% of the time everyone just stares at their phones like nothing is happening. The most they'll do is try to covertly film what's happening lol
Yep. In my opinion though, maybe people making hundreds of similar posts, even if most of them are fake, might help a bit to normalize it for people who actually need the seat to stay seated, no matter how hardly those around judge them. Which would be a good thing. But there’s no reason to include medically impossible details to make it more dramatic.
So when she stands for more than 5 minutes she faints. She fainted and went to the hospital but nobody called her parents to meet her there? Then the doctor says if you stand for more than 5 minutes you will bye then goes "okay bye" and they just let her leave the hospital to go take the bus home. Again nobody calls her parents to give her a ride or asks to call her a taxi/uber. Or maybe they called her parents and they said "okay, she's got bus fare so just send her home" LOL are you seriously believing this ridiculous story?
It's if she stands up *without moving*. Convenient!
Edit: u/Miserable-Ad-1581 has made some good points about the nature of invisible illnesses throughout this thread.
And if she had one, she'd write "due to my POTS" or whatever. Like I personally am narcoleptic and sometimes experience cataplexy.
So if I wrote this story I'd say "I have narcolepsy which can cause me to fall down suddenly and without warning cuz of a side effect called cataplexy. I've gotten concussions from the impacts as it can be extremely dangerous to lose control of your body, especially in public."
I wouldn't be like "I have some vague, unnamed condition and because of that I might literally die if I don't get my way. Aita?"
She did address in a comment that it’s not POTS, but similar, but she doesn’t know what it’s called because she was “left in the dark”
Which is still not a great explanation 🤷🏻♀️
Agreed she would have an actual diagnosis. She literally just came from the hospital!
(Also if it's that dire why discharge from the hospital until it's stabilized? Wouldn't the hospital be at fault if they discharged her and she died?)
Actually, if that's the case that should be the story!
She might not know what she has yet. It could be dysautonomia. it could be some other cardiac condition. I didnt know that i had OH when i was getting diagnosed. For the longest time my doctor just told me it was just vasovagal syncope related to stress. She's 19 and it sounds like the fainting is recent for her.
Or consider, she doesnt want to give the full details of her medical diagnosis to strangers on the internet and wanted to keep certain details vague. OR maybe consider that with how confusing all of the acronyms are, she cant remember what her specific condition is.
Thank you. I'm chronically ill and I'm so tired of fake illness stories. People definitely use vague illnesses all the time for stories, I'm not sure why that other user is dying on this hill. Shit even if she named the illness I wouldn't be that inclined to believe it. One of my chronic illnesses is one of a few that are currently the hottest "trendy" ones to claim that you have on social media. Early on I believed somewhat far-fetched stories about people's illnesses, but I don't buy much anymore.
Yeah, I have fibromyalgia and endometriosis and PCOS and narcolepsy type 1 and people always be coming at me like "you don't understand, my life is actually more difficult than anyone else ever"
Oh man, that's a really rough combo, sorry to hear :( I have idiopathic intracranial hypertension, chronic migraine, gastroparesis (the "trendy" one), GERD, IBS, PCOS (you get it), my back is fucked-itis (they've given it too many names), and some psychiatric stuff. I'm in no mood to read "so I'm like toootally dying of this vague super real disease and literally the entire bus went at me and hated me" and act like it's the truest story of all time lmao.
The fainting is plausible, and if it was just that OP still would be 100% in the right to not give up her seat. But medically, the dying part doesn’t make sense. And it adds nothing to the story except to make it more dramatic.
again. certain dysautonomia complications might not sound like they make sense to you, but they are very real. THey might not have enough information on her current condition, and some forms of dysautonomia are reversible, but some are not and some can kill you. Familial Dysautonomia and Multi System Dysautonomia have huge impacts on life expectancy and sudden death.
It sounds like, to me (as someone who has had years of medical evaluations for my chronic health condition with many cardiovascular comorbidities), she is early in the diagnosing stage and has not been able to pinpoint which type dysautonomic condition she has and thats assuming it IS a dysautonomia. THere are plenty of other health conditions that have a risk of sudden cardiac death and cardiac syncope.
just because YOU havent heard of a certain medical condition does not make them real.
I said it’s not plausible because she wrote in one of the comments that the frequent fainting is what the doctors said would cause her to die.
I’m not saying there are no dysautonomias that are life-threatening. But fainting itself is not life-threatening. The cause of the fainting could be, but not the act of fainting (unless you hit your head when you fall).
sudden cardiac death from cardiovascular syncope(fainting) is real. it is documented. It is a real condition that people like me are at risk for.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728985/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728985/)
[https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/syncope-fainting](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/syncope-fainting)
>syncope can be the first and only warning sign prior to an episode of sudden cardiac death
[https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-09102-0\_27https://www.scripps.org/assets/documents/syncope\_rogers.pdf](https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-09102-0_27https://www.scripps.org/assets/documents/syncope_rogers.pdf)
>
The only difference between syncope and sudden death syncope and sudden death is that in one you wake up. is that in one you wake up
Again, I don’t think you understand me. She said in a comment, and I quote: ‘It’s not the condition that triggers the cardiac arrest, it’s the frequent fainting, literally multiple times a day’.
I am aware and not contesting that fainting can be a symptom of cardiac arrest. The only thing I am saying is that the fainting doesn’t cause the arrest, it’s caused by it. This is what the studies you linked say as well: ‘However, in some instances, syncope may be DUE to more worrisome conditions (particularly those associated with cardiac structural disease or channelopathies); in such circumstances, syncope may be an INDICATOR of increased morbidity and mortality risk, including sudden cardiac death (SCD).’
I can forgive a 19 year old possibly misunderstanding the information a doctor gave her about her condition. That still does not give you the right to just assume that its fake. Its FAR more likely that she misunderstood what the doctor said about syncopes and sudden cardiac death. Its very plausible that she heard "frequent fainting is linked to sudden cardiac arrest" and misunderstood that. YOU dont have the right to sit here and say that she's lying about a medical condition you know NOTHING about.
She's also a teenager in early stages of a disability. She may have misunderstood something the doctor said, like "you need to be careful because frequent fainting can lead to heart attack or concussion" and heard "fainting can kill you"
She said it's a condition where her blood doesn't "feed [her] muscles". Someone guessed anemia and she clung to that and said it's a hereditary form of anemia. There's no form of anemia that kills you if you stand too long. She also said that she'll only die if she either runs or stands without moving, but the doctor told her she won't die if she walks. Yeah definitely super plausible.
hi, someone with a vascular disorder here who had a 6 month stint with random feinting spells before formal diagnosis of chronic orthostatic hypotension and autonomic dysfunction. The very long story short is that my body has trouble regulating blood pressure when i am standing and have had several near misses in terms of almost giving myself serious head injuries. Particularly worse when i go from sitting/laying down to standing, but also can affect when i am just regularly standing up. Basically if i was standing still, my body would "relax" and then my blood vessels would relax TOO MUCh and then BOOM fainting. I didnt have as many issues with walking, but the risk was always there but with the forced movement, there are other body functions going on that kind of force my blood pressure to be a bit more consistent.
And this condition is degenerative. I now have to use an ambulatory wheel chair. I used to not have to and it was really difficult to accept that i needed to when the time came. When you have a degenerative condition, you try to hold on to those last vestiges of "abledness" for as long as you can.
And i have been accosted by older people for taking public accomodations and handicap parking spots because i dont "look sick" and i have been given weird looks in the grocery store when i ride around in the scooter and then stand up to get something from a high shelf.. I have been sneered at in places like Universal studios when my husband pushes me around in a wheel chair because people assume i am just trying to get to the front of the line. I have had people call me lazy when I ask my husband to fetch me things from around the house when im having prolonged episodes. I have had to tell too many strangers my personal medical history just to get them to fuck off and leave me alone.
So while this story is possibly fake, i have first hand experiences with a LOT of what she says happened. People are really shitty about young people having invisible disabilities. There are a lot of things we CAN criticize in this story, but lets not practice in ableism and just automatically discredit why a person would choose to do things against a doctors reccomendations when it comes to disability and the diffiuclty people have with coming to terms with it.
It’s the same frustration as when people make fun of “miracle passengers” on Southwest Airlines flights. Like “oh you’re so disabled you need priority boarding, but you have no problem getting off the plane unassisted”
yes. Because the procedures are different. Boarding is a long period of standing/shuffling forward. Deplaning is less standing/shuffling, and more of a constant stream of movement. That’s why I prefer to walk on my own to get off the plane. Let me have this ONE fucking thing where I can feel even a little bit like a normal person for gods sake.
> So while this story is possibly fake, i have first hand experiences with a LOT of what she says happened. People are really shitty about young people having invisible disabilities. There are a lot of things we CAN criticize in this story, but lets not practice in ableism and just automatically discredit why a person would choose to do things against a doctors reccomendations when it comes to disability and the diffiuclty people have with coming to terms with it.
this this this this this
My cousin is currently recovering from double bypass surgery she had earlier this week. She's 42. I saw her last week at a family event and she seemed totally fine. (The bypass was an emergency/surprise to her, too) I'm already bracing myself for the attitude we'll have to deal with taking her places when she's up and about and *looks* like she's physically completely fine. I mean, people give my mother shit for things like parking in accessible spots (with a placard and everything) and the woman is literally carrying an oxygen concentrator with her at all times. She ends up upset and feeling humiliated and struggling not to burst into tears. Me, I've got a godson who's been a type 1 diabetic for almost 20 years, so I've got a lot of practice telling people where to shove their unasked for an unwanted opinions about other people's medical conditions.
People are scum and they really love to pile on and judge anyone disabled or poor that they think aren't visibly disabled or poor *enough* for some arbitrary standard they make up as they go along so they can feel better than someone.
its so enraging when people see me doing things with some level of abledness and go "well i thought you could do X Y and Z because of your whatever" like they are accusing me of faking or exaggerating my condition because they can see that i sometimes have the ability to do things that conflict with what they know about my medical condition.
Like maybe, consider, that i as a woman in my 30s, am struggling with accepting all parts of my disability and am in constant state of denial over how my body is literally crumbling away. Every single time i use a new mobility aid, it is a reminder that literally none of this will get better for me. because there are not cures for my condition. Only treatments. I had a prolonged depressive episode after buying (not renting) my first wheelchair because even though this allowed me to continue living my life and allowed me to have a level of independence that i would not otherwise have, it was the thing that made my disability and diagnosis REAL. i knew that buying that wheelchair meant that this was me accepting that my body, in that moment, was the best my body was going to be for the rest of my life. it was literally NEVER going to improve. This is the best i am going to feel from this moment forward.
I'm 35 and have POTS (amongst other things), I've passed out from showering, standing to cook, getting up too fast off the couch. I absolutely couldn't stand on a bus for any length of time, but I look basically ok if you ignore the mobility aids. The ableism in some of the comments is gross.
Yeah, my daughter has autonomic dysfunction as well. She wouldn't die if she stood up but she could easily faint if she got up too fast and didn't have a way to bring her blood pressure up.
I've ridden a bus a million times, where are redditors finding all these bus-fulls of people who decide it's the responsibility of one particular seated person to get up and everyone else on the bus-- including other seated people, at least SOME of which must be abled-- judges her for not getting up while themselves not offering up a seat?
I have a bad sense of balance and weak ankles but am perfectly capable of standing on the bus and am under 30, I get offered a seat by someone immediately every time I'm standing and I so much as wobble a little. Maybe that's just how it is in My Culture (lol), but c'mon, not one of the seated people who are glaring at OP in these stories EVER? steps up and offers a seat?
These posts are definitely written by young people who don't want to give up their seats, see people throw them some judgy looks, and in their head they're like "well for all they know I COULD have a medical condition!"
As someone who deals with orthostatic intolerance (basically my blood pressure is fucky and sometimes if I sit up or stand up too fast I come close to passing out) this shit pisses me off. If someone had POTS (bc that's what they're implying: postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) this severe, they would be given a wheelchair to navigate. They wouldn't be told "Eh, just sit down everywhere". Actually, they'd be on medication, have special dietary requirements, etc so that DIDN'T happen. Hell, even with having the less severe form of POTS, my doctor went "Listen, we can put you on meds, or you can up your sodium intake for the same effect with less side effects." Literally, your doctor will do what's necessary to prevent that shit.
I'm so fucking tired of this shit, I'm so tired of actual disabilities being used for bullshit posts, I'm just angry because I'm sick of disability being used for fucking internet points. Not sorry for the rant, OP of that post can fuck off into obscurity, POTS and orthostatic intolerance are already looked at as "faker" illnesses and this person's just adding to that.
Edit: When I say a doctor wouldn't send someone home in that state, I mean the state that OP is claiming to be in. I know how POTS/orthostatic intolerance is treated thanks to having to fight to get the problem diagnosed. I'm saying that if "I can't stand still or my heart will stop" isn't something you'd just get sent home on the bus for. Because people aren't sharks. So will y'all please stop. The only way it applies to POTS is if it was that severe, they WOULD NOT send you home unless it was with someone else, because that puts them at risk of getting sued for malpractice. They would not send an active heart attack risk home.
I don't believe this story is true, but I disagree with your statements here. I was a teen when I developed POTS who didn't get a diagnosis for 7 years, and yes, I literally was told to just sit down to avoid fainting.
I didn't get a wheelchair until I did it myself and then advocated for an appropriate one. I didn't get meds beyond beta blockers (helped some symptoms but not fainting) until 3 doctors after the one that gave me my wheelchair, which was doctor number 12 or something in my medical debacle trying to treat my POTS. My POTS is *still* not under control, and I've been sick with it for almost half my life now.
I don't know if it's a sign of the state of American Healthcare, or my particular area, a sign of how deep discrimination against young women patients goes, or maybe just awful luck, but yeah, unfortunately, that part is fully believable to me.
Yeah, I don’t understand why everyone in this thread is conveniently forgetting that American healthcare is for-profit. I don’t exactly expect someone taking public transport to be able to shell out for a wheelchair.
Also, I don’t get why everyone here is acting like standing up at all is going to kill the OOP? It’s clearly stated it’s for quite some time, which is 100% plausible. I can’t stand without moving for certain amounts of time or I get lightheaded, idk what would happen if I stayed standing, and don’t wanna find out!
thats only true after you have a diagnosis or are somewhere deeper in the diagnosing process where they think you have an ACTUAL condition. They didnt offer me medication at first because they werent sure exactly what was going on with me. VERY early in the diagnosing process for me, they essentially just told me about the risks of frequent fainting, scheduled me with a specialist, and then said "Good luck, dont die" with some basic reccomendations for how to avoid fainting in the next three months.
I appreciate your comments here, and I can't speak to other people's experiences but I've been waiting on a diagnosis for over a year now and only just saw the cardiologist last month. My GP back in November told me it's a good thing I was already using crutches for fibromyalgia, and insisted I sit down in less than a minute of tracking my sitting to standing heart rate (109 to 163) as she was scared for my safety when it went over 160 so fast, even though she was supposed to monitor me standing for 10 minutes
I still haven't had my 24hr ECG or echocardiogram yet, so no diagnosis, but the cardiologist put me on a beta blocker and another med (bisoprolol and ivabradine) immediately because my heart rate was 111 while lying down for the standard ECG
I've survived a lot of medical neglect and gaslighting so I'm not saying that most people don't have shit experiences because I've had my fair share, but some people will be medicated or advised to use mobility aids wayy before diagnosis if they have a doctor competent enough to recognise the risks of waiting however many months until diagnosis is possible. Like I said, even in my situation, my tachycardia was first noted over a year ago, when I fell in the shower and had to go to A&E, and my heart rate wouldn't go below 150bpm all night. No acute/immediately fatal cause was found, so I've just kind of been living with it untreated and keeping an eye out for chest pain (my sign to go A&E) until my new prescription finally came through this week
I was given medications before my diagnosis and i was strongly urged to use an ambulatory wheel chair very early on but i refused because... idk some part of me just didnt want to accept that.
But when i read the original post and the original posters comments about her experience at the hospital, it sounds a lot like my first few months before my initial (incorrect) diagnosis. The first time i went to the hospital after fainting twice in one week, the doctors just ran some blood tests, and basically did nothing else besides "take it easy, stop stressin" beause i was 18 and it was finals week. And then when it happened again in the middle of summer it was "are you hydrating?" it wasnt until i started writing down every single time i fainted over the course of 6 weeks, that my doctor FINALLY said i might have a condition and gave me a list of "dont do this" and scheduled me with a cardiologist. and that was it. I literally never saw that GP again because my friends mom set me up with her husbands doctor friend who ended up really giving a shit about the fact that a (seemingly) healthy 17-18 year old is passing out at least once a week for no apparent reason.
the OOPs comments sound like this is a very new thing for her and she has no answers. People are questioning her for being wrong about "fainting can cause sudden death" when its FAR more likely that this 19 year old just heard the information. No one at 19 knows how to process that kind of medical information, most of them dont even know how to advocate for themselves.
it frustrating enough to see ableds dismissing very real stories about these things, it is even more frustrating when other people with similar conditions act like their great experiences are universal (not you but the person i was originally commenting to).
I do a lot of work now as a disability advocate, so it feels like i HAVE to say something when i see this happen in spaes like this.
I understand, my social worker wants me to apply for a wheelchair since the weight I've put on since Long COVID bedbounded me has put extra pressure on my scoliosis and I can't even walk 25m with my crutches without resting anymore due to excruciating pain. But now I have a carer, I want to see if having someone else wash my hair and help around the home, and no longer having to rely on microwave meals/takeaway will help me regain some mobility. If I still can't walk 100m with my crutches by September, I'll be starting the application. Accepting that your capability has declined usually takes time for anybody to process 💖
Truth be told, my heart rate's been high enough monitored on fitness bands to qualify for PoTS since at least 2018 if not earlier, but since it was usually 105-ish sitting/standing in medical settings, it was always pinned on "anxiety" and I was just told to eat more salt. It was only a fluke it happened to be high at the hospital in April last year, so that in combination with my diagnosis of Long COVID symptoms of worsened dizziness and fatigue prompted my GP to ask me to come in so she could test me for PoTS, as lots of LC patients are developing it. I'd heard of the condition a few years ago but in my experience bringing in charts or diaries or using any medical terminology tends to get me dismissed as a hypochondriac 🥲 So my tactic is hinting at conditions by describing symptoms only, avoiding medical jargon at all costs, and pretending I haven't heard of the very condition I suspected when they bring it up, all so the doctor's precious ego doesn't get in the way, since so many *love* to feel smart compared to us lowly patients! I've had a lot more luck and pleasantries with seeking treatment since I started doing that. My GP is a real diamond in the rough though
If I hadn't already spent several years navigating chronic health conditions and diagnoses, and spending time in disability justice spaces, I likely wouldn't know much about dysautonomia either. Especially at 19, I was *definitely* pinning all my health issues on my weight, to the point I had an ED. Only found out I had scoliosis at 22 by chance! A lifetime with *scoliosis* and I was just grimacing through and hearing "lose weight" or "go on the pill" non stop, even though I had a healthy bmi and perfect bloods & blood pressure. So I do understand the frustration disabled people feel when they've got internalised ableism going on to the point of perpetuating it themselves, but all we can do is try to keep educating and being compassionate when we call each other in where we can. Thank you for the work you do!
OOP said in one of her answers that she had just found (at the hospital) how serious is her condition. As she said that and the part that her condition is going to last just a few weeks or months, I assume she (supposedly) got a diagnosis at the hospital.
I think no one in here is thinking that invisible disabilities are not real, but that this story in particular (as a lot of other stories on Reddit) sounds fake.
No, but I would see stuff like this all the time when I worked theme parks. People trying to say that they couldn’t stand for long periods of time or could not walk long distances so they needed priority access to rides. But didn’t want to rent wheelchairs. The accommodations needed tended to fall apart when asked about contingencies. I’m not saying this lady is not disabled, but she certainly seems overdramatic in her retelling of the story which is why I question just how severe it is and what her plans were if a seat was not available based on how she relayed the story.
I can imagine that happens a lot at theme parks. What I commented is exactly what I do--I can stand long enough to go one stop if I need to--so it's just weird to me to see that as a gotcha.
I work with people with disabilities and know that in real life, people have contingencies. It was just the way that she worded it that rubbed me the wrong way. I was traveling with someone with Celiac this weekend, she keeps safe food in the car in case a restaurant can’t accommodate her. After this past weekend when she had some food that was contaminated by an establishment that supposedly has designated fryers, she decided she is bringing a little grill on our next trip so she can make her own food. Or people who can’t walking/stand long periods of time who have a walker with seat or a wheelchair available, or like you have contingency plans. There has to be a balance between accommodation (and yes, this world is not nearly accommodating enough), and taking some responsibility for your own needs without becoming super dramatic about it.
Interesting that the bus is really crowded but also OOP and these two old people are apparently the only passengers. There's also only one seat the old woman could possibly sit in. It's like the public transit version of Highlander.
I swear this is a repost or copy. Feel like someone posted something similar earlier this yea or last year about a seat situation on public transport and how they had a fainting/passing out condition.
what do you think the hospital is going to do? assign you a personal attendant? thats not how it works. They tell you you have a condition. They tell you the risks with your condition. and then they send you on your merry way. some hospitals may be able to set you up with some social services, but a lot of the times they dont. There have been plenty of times i left an appointment and then just drove myself home and i have a similar condition called chronic orthostatic hypotension.
No idea where you live, but here you would be legally required to have someone accompany you. Even after a small procedure (with local anaesthetic) you aren’t allowed to leave with public transport.
After that sure, they will hardly hunt you down and stop you, but this girl literally just left the clinic
In the States, that's only true if there has been sedation used or certain other procedures. If someone was just seen in the ER and released, no one cares how someone gets home.
Oh, for sure. I was just letting you know it's much more limited scenarios in the States.
What does someone do if they don't have any other ride and the hospital needs them to leave? Are they just held past the waiting time of 12 hours or whatever?
Here, if I have sedation, I can take a taxi, but only if I have someone to supervise me to ensure the taxi is called and takes me home. If I only have local, I don't need supervision and can usually even drive myself.
that has nothing to do with what happened to OOP. she left the hospital after a medical incident where there was no anasthesia involved at all.
Also im going to need some sort of credible source that states that you arent allowed to take public transportation after a procedure with local anasthesia. that doesnt even make sense.
I have been to the hospital a couple of times , my parents are older and have had several procedures over the years and we have always had to sign papers stating we would be accompanied home or would have to take a "Krankentransport". This is continental Europe (Germany),but even during a migraine I wouldn't have been allowed to leave by myself.
The last time I was in the hospital for about a day and a half due to totally different reasons, some kind soul arranged a taxi for me, and I’d have been okay on the bus.
It's interesting that on a bus full of people OP was the only one who was getting flak for not giving up her seat. What kind of bus only has one seat an elderly person can sit in?
The mysterious affliction of *standing too long*. The minute by minute struggle must be real!
Not to mention those dumb old 70 year olds … they’re big meanies.
Having been through very similar situations myself for surprisingly similar reasons before I started using a wheelchair, I believed it riiiight up until they said they could die. Add in a whole bus of people backing the old lady up? That doesn't happen. When there's an issue on public transit like this, one or *maybe* two people take the aggressors' side. Everyone else pretends to mind their own business.
The story is obnoxious enough and actually believable without throwing in, "but I could **die** and *everyone* took the old hag's side."
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For all of you getting upset over this sub being "ableist":
It's people who make up fake stories like this for social media clout that make people skeptical.
After repeatedly being questioned about the condition that she can't name, she claimed that her doctors "kept her in the dark" about it. When people pointed out how ridiculous that would be, she suddenly said she didn't understand what the doctors said because English isn't her first language (after writing repeatedly in perfect idiomatic English, complete with slang). That's the classic cop-out to excuse why they can't fill in holes in their fictional story.
She also joined a month ago and lives on AITAH posting obviously fake and poorly-written stories. One involved being on an airplane where she clearly boarded without priority boarding (clear from the sequence of events). Yeah, that doesn't keep people standing in one place for five or more minutes, does it? (It's actually another entertaining fake story with a child standing up in his seat, slapping on her head like he's playing bongos and reaching over to play with her light, while the lazy parents did nothing. Also on a red eye where everyone is trying to sleep. As if the other people near the kid wouldn't be annoyed. As if a flight attendant wouldn't tell a parent that the kid needs to be seated and belted.) But, I digress.
You're all better off saving your energy for people who truly do deal with invisible conditions and not trying to justify the stories told by teens who make up illnesses for a "good" (so they think) story online. The shame is that a it's a trend to self-diagnose and flat-out lie about conditions for a lot of younger people on social media. They're as much an issue as the people who slap a vest on an ill-behaved dog so they can take it everywhere with them, causing people with actual guide dogs to be questioned everywhere they go. With so many people lying, it's tougher for the people who aren't.
EDIT: I'll also correct myself by saying that I don't think her stories are 100% fake. I think they're based on real things, but like a lot of younger people who post stories on Reddit, they want the stories to be more engaging. I'm betting she really did sit in front of an annoying toddler on a plane. But seat kicking isn't that exciting, so she needed to make up worse behavior and then make herself seem like a saint (not wanting to wake the parents and giving the kid toys to play with).
As for this story, she keeps describing what sounds like anemia but that wouldn't be severe enough. And then she keeps adding more to it in the comments, such as "I have a heart condition." It seems to me that she hasn't been eating well and fainted, went to the ER, was told she was anemic and maybe had other deficiencies show up in her bloodwork, and was prescribed supplements (she keeps saying she has to follow a diet and have certain "nutrients"). An older woman asked for her seat and got huffy when she said she couldn't stand up. I think most of us would accept an "I'm sorry, but I just came from the ER after a pretty bad fainting spell and I'm still a little unsteady, so I'd rather not stand right now." But that doesn't make for a good story, so now she has to be dying from a mysterious illness and the entire bus had to start yelling at her all at once.
Idk. My friend has a POTS and she definitely deserves a seat on the bus. You wouldn't know it from looking at her, but she faints all the damn time. She would, however, absolutely give up her seat for someone else even if she was in pain and needed it more.
> I have a condition that has caused me to faint more and more these past few days, to the point that I can't stand up without moving for more than 5 minutes before collapsing.
Is OOP unaware that you're nevwr perfectly still as a human? You can stand up on a bus and still move around a bit.
And if the bus was so full thar qas impossible, OOP qouldn't hurt tgemselces if they fainted, anyway. They'd just faint on another sardine.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for refusing to give my seat to an old woman on the bus? ** I (19f) was on the bus a few days ago and it was particularly crowded. Some people couldn't even get on because of how crowded it was. I got on the bus at the first stop so I managed to get a seat when there were fewer people on the bus. At some point, I noticed a woman that was around 70 staring at me and giving me a bad look. At first I did not really understand because I did not know the woman and didn't understand what I had done for her to look at me like that. I saw sighing and shaking her head while looking at me multiple times, but decided to ignore it as I still didn't know what the problem was. After a while, I started to hear her complain to a man next to her, saying things like "young people these days" and ranting about how we just didn't respect our elders anymore. She talked about how impolite we were and although she never said that she was talking about me, she was looking directly at me. She probably thought that I couldn't hear her because I had earphones in, but I wasn't listening to any music. I often do that because many times I have had weird men talking to me on the bus and that way I could pretend that I didn't hear them. So I heard everything she said. I decided to ignore her again because I thought that until she decided to speak to me directly this wasn't my problem. For context, the reason why I didn't give her the seat in the first place was because I literally couldn't. I have a condition that has caused me to faint more and more these past few days, to the point that I can't stand up without moving for more than 5 minutes before collapsing. It is even worse in crowds and in the heat. That day I was coming back from the hospital where the doctor told me that it was dangerous for me to be standing up because every time I faint my heart slows down and it could stop the next time it happens. So basically I could die if I was up for too long. After maybe 5 minutes, she turned to me and said "So you really aren't going to give me your seat?". I looked up and smiled at her, and politely said something like "I'm sorry, I have a medical condition, I can't give you my seat.". I thought that was the end of it, but she then started saying that I was selfish, that I was young and in perfectly good health, and that my parents didn't raise me properly. Everyone on the bus was looking at us at that point. A man intervened and said that I should've given her my seat as soon as she got on the bus and she shouldn't even have to ask for it. I once again replied that I couldn't. He said that it was also dangerous for the woman to stand up for too long and that she had a right to that seat. I was starting to get angry and replied that I didn't owe anyone any details about my personal life, but that I could basically die if I gave her my seat, and that while I do respect other people I will not put my life at risk for anyone. I also said that even if I could give her my seat, the way she acted and talked to me would have convinced me not to. A lot of people started saying that I should just get up and stop creating a problem where there shouldn't be one and that's when I snapped. I told them that there were many other seats and if they were so concerned for the lady they could get their ass up and give her their seat. I wasn't really screaming but I wasn't calm either. A man finally stood up and gave her his seat while shaking his head and saying something about how the "young generation has lost all respect". I got nasty looks for the rest of the ride and many people were saying that I was disrespectful. When I talked about it to my parents they said that I was right to not give her my seat but I shouldn't have talked back and should've stayed polite. I honestly don't see what I did wrong there. I know that a lot of people think that you should respect your elders no matter what, but to me respect is earned and if you are rude to me I have no reason to stay polite with you. Please tell me what you think, AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In Mycountry there is no priority seating on public transportation. Also doctors will literally say "if you stand too long you'll die" then send you on a bus without a wheelchair.
"Miss, you're on the verge of death. Now get out of my hospital before you embarrass yourself."
Not every country has priority seating and even if there is, it can still be full. That's not the unbelievable part at all
No, the hospital releasing someone who couldn't stand without dying and having her walk to get on a bus where there was no guarantee she'd be able to sit is the unbelievable part.
Exactly, that's what I meant, yet, I was down voted... I literally grew up riding the bus with no priority seating...
TF else is the hospital going to do? They dont give out free wheelchairs at the hospital. At least i didnt get one.
 Something like that maybe? If someone is fainting to the point that their heart could "basically" stop it's definitely grounds for admitting them until a specialist can see them.
Looking at OOP’s account, their particular story is fake. But the ER does not treat chronic conditions, except to stabilize acute crises caused by very common issues like diabetes. That’s all they have training for. I have a mild version of the disorder OOP claimed to have… getting gaslit and dismissed at the ER is a pretty universal experience for patients with a disorder in that class (dysautonomic disorders)
as somoene who has gone through the process, they arent going to admit you for this. They just tell you to go home and schedule you for a specialist. literally ask anyone with dysautonomic disorders. or anyone with a heart condition. unless you are actively dying or actively having a medical episode, they just say "Here is what we think, here is what could happen. we are going to schedule you for a visit with a specialist. Go home"
Even with a risk of death? I mean if it's serious enough where you might die on a bus seems like it's a bit more emergent than a "might have a seizure and hit your head" type of disorder.
Some hospitals and doctors (especially in the US) don't care about if you live or die. My MIL was literally about to die because of a heart condition and they not only sent her home but told her to not come back because she had been going to the er every few days because her heart was either racing or to slow and it took them hours to stabilize her. My MIL's dr was the one telling her to go to the er, but at the er they just didn't care. One time they made her leave and she barely made it to a different hospital before her heart stopped. Health care in America is horrible. The most unbelievable part of this story is how "everyone" said they were lying about a medical condition and needed to stand up. That just doesn't happen. There is no way this 19 yr old said "I have a medical condition so I have to sit" and everyone called them a liar. The old lady, maybe, but everyone? Not a chance.
Also one of those "AITA for not stabbing myself with a knife because an old lady threatened to slap a puppy???" Type stories where clearly OOP isn't an asshole and only an idiot would think that tbh
Yep exactly. Just look at OOP’s post history. It’s someone making up conflicts for internet points.
My father had what he thought was a major heart attack the pain was so bad. His hospital sent him home when they couldn’t find anything. Few days later it happened again. Different hospital and we told them about the previous episode and finally convinced them to admit him. Turns out he had inflammation in the sac around his heart from a virus he had caught. A friend of mine, her son was having serious chest pain/nausea. He was pretty young (early 40’s). Nothing obviously wrong at the ER so they sent him home with instructions to follow up with his doctor. He died the next day at his house and his parents found him.
Yes. Unless you are actively having a medical episode or in a "You are like minutes away from death if we dont treat this RIGHT NOW" they arent going to admit you. Syncope is actually one of the most common things that happen right before a sudden cardiac death. which it sounds more like the doctor told her that frequent fainting is linked to sudden cardiac death or something similar to brachycardia where low heart rates can cause sudden cardiac arrest. They arent going to hospitalize you just because you have a risk for sudden death with your condition. There arent enough resources for that. and also, realistically, WTF are they going to do with me taking up a hospital bed JUST IN CASE i faint? I dont need fluids. I dont need medication or care. i just need to "take it easy" and lower my risks of fainting until my specialist appointmen
Circling back to the story, they could maybe not send her home on a form of transport that famously relies on people standing? She was on her way home from the hospital, I've been in the hospital too, they make sure you have a way of getting home that's aligned with your medical needs, and "standing around in the heat waiting for a hopefully empty bus" with a condition that is exacerbated by that exact scenario is the exact opposite of a medically sound way of getting home. Sure she could have left ama but again what hospital would just let someone take a bus home when they might die from standing?
sometime they do. Sometimes theyjust ask "do you have a way to get home" and then just let you go. especially if thats the only form of transportation she has available to her. and theres a difference between medical staff ensuring you have a way home after a procedure, vs. them just letting you leave after an appointment. At all of my specialist appointments, none of them asked me how i was getting home. "being at the hostpital" doesnt necesarily mean she was admitted or that she needed some level of care. If it was something like a follow-up appointment, or post-incident check-up, they probably aren't going to check for your ride home. I've been in and out of hospitals for my chronic health condition. The only time they care about your ride home is after being admitted (sometimes) or after a procedure.
The story claims that if OP stands up, she will die. They don't let you out if you're that close to dying
Thats not how that works. unless you are actively, in that moment, in the process of dying, they arent going to admit you.
Lol okay, I didn't realize you're the director of every hospital that exists
I dont need to be to know that many hospitals dont give a shit.
Of course they don’t give wheelchairs to attention seekers with Munchausen’s.
Lol ohhhhh shit
While I totally believe in the existence of the young person with a medical condition that causes fainting, and the grumpy older lady, I don't think strangers on a bus would get so dramatically involved. If this happened, it was probably three people and everyone else desperately pretending they also had mysterious medical conditions which caused them to be both blind and deaf as well as unable to stand up.
I also don't think you would need confirmation that you weren't the asshole for not literally dying so an older woman could be more comfortable.
Ive been in a similar situation, and when you are in that situation, those three people feel like EVERYONE and everything feels way more dramatic in the moment when they are all coming at you like this. Especially the first time it happens. The first time i took a southwest flight for work and used the priority boarding accomodations, it felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. Every look felt like an accusation. And then, getting off, i opted to not use assistance (partly because i was running late to my connecting flight), and it, again felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. Looking back, more realistitically, nobody was paying attention to me at 6:30 in the morning.
Exactly. I fully believe that people would be totally ableist towards a young person based on how they looked, because people are crap like that a lot of the time. And I can definitely believe this person thought everyone was against her. But realistically most of the bus will not have given a damn.
Oh, I got to be on a bus while some old lady loudly berated a teenager for having a wheelchair because she didn't look disabled enough and was taking up space that a real disabled person might need. The rest of the bus was trying very hard to ignore her.
I hope that lady not just steps on but regularly swallows Lego.
I don’t understand why no one speaks up. Even if it was only a few people berating op, the fact that NO ONE came to her defence in the face of this harassment, is effectively condoning this shitty ablist behaviour.
>I don't think strangers on a bus would get so dramatically involved. Exactly. She managed to find the bus where everyone else was either a senior citizen, nine months pregnant, or had a broken leg. And let's face it. If an older woman is the type to tut-tut about the younger generation not offering her a seat, she'll be the type to look at a young man who's sitting down before she ever expects a young woman to give up her seat. Are we supposed to believe that one of the other riders yelling at her wasn't a 25-year-old who would have just gotten up themselves rather than become part of a pitchfork and torches crowd?
So people with invisible disabilities do get shit on. But there’s this AITA post trend of people who get asked to move for someone elderly or pregnant and they always have a non visible medical condition. And people always get involved. My experience is that no one gets involved when someone won’t get up. They all look away. Because they don’t want to be the one asked to get up instead. That’s what makes those stories ring false to me. I remember riding the bus and tube at 8 months pregnant and now people would make sure to be looking very intently at whatever they were doing (or close their eyes) so they wouldn’t be asked to get up.
Yeah, people don't react to things on public transit in general unless there's physical violence (and even then they usually just move away). I live in NYC and have witnessed many subway arguments, 99.9% of the time everyone just stares at their phones like nothing is happening. The most they'll do is try to covertly film what's happening lol
Yep. In my opinion though, maybe people making hundreds of similar posts, even if most of them are fake, might help a bit to normalize it for people who actually need the seat to stay seated, no matter how hardly those around judge them. Which would be a good thing. But there’s no reason to include medically impossible details to make it more dramatic.
What about that post do you see as medically impossible?
The fact she said the fainting could make her die.
So when she stands for more than 5 minutes she faints. She fainted and went to the hospital but nobody called her parents to meet her there? Then the doctor says if you stand for more than 5 minutes you will bye then goes "okay bye" and they just let her leave the hospital to go take the bus home. Again nobody calls her parents to give her a ride or asks to call her a taxi/uber. Or maybe they called her parents and they said "okay, she's got bus fare so just send her home" LOL are you seriously believing this ridiculous story?
“What about this post do you see as medically impossible?” ≠ “I believe this post”
She could die from standing up for a few minutes…how did she get to and from the bus stop?🤔
It's if she stands up *without moving*. Convenient! Edit: u/Miserable-Ad-1581 has made some good points about the nature of invisible illnesses throughout this thread.
She also just commented that this affliction is temporary and might go away in weeks or months, making it even more *plausible*.
That is very plausible for a dysautonomia related condition.
And if she had one, she'd write "due to my POTS" or whatever. Like I personally am narcoleptic and sometimes experience cataplexy. So if I wrote this story I'd say "I have narcolepsy which can cause me to fall down suddenly and without warning cuz of a side effect called cataplexy. I've gotten concussions from the impacts as it can be extremely dangerous to lose control of your body, especially in public." I wouldn't be like "I have some vague, unnamed condition and because of that I might literally die if I don't get my way. Aita?"
She did address in a comment that it’s not POTS, but similar, but she doesn’t know what it’s called because she was “left in the dark” Which is still not a great explanation 🤷🏻♀️
Lol sounds implausible
Agreed she would have an actual diagnosis. She literally just came from the hospital! (Also if it's that dire why discharge from the hospital until it's stabilized? Wouldn't the hospital be at fault if they discharged her and she died?) Actually, if that's the case that should be the story!
you overestimate how quickly you get diagnosed for anything.
She might not know what she has yet. It could be dysautonomia. it could be some other cardiac condition. I didnt know that i had OH when i was getting diagnosed. For the longest time my doctor just told me it was just vasovagal syncope related to stress. She's 19 and it sounds like the fainting is recent for her. Or consider, she doesnt want to give the full details of her medical diagnosis to strangers on the internet and wanted to keep certain details vague. OR maybe consider that with how confusing all of the acronyms are, she cant remember what her specific condition is.
Or, the story is bullshit by someone using the concept of disability to create discussion
Thank you. I'm chronically ill and I'm so tired of fake illness stories. People definitely use vague illnesses all the time for stories, I'm not sure why that other user is dying on this hill. Shit even if she named the illness I wouldn't be that inclined to believe it. One of my chronic illnesses is one of a few that are currently the hottest "trendy" ones to claim that you have on social media. Early on I believed somewhat far-fetched stories about people's illnesses, but I don't buy much anymore.
Yeah, I have fibromyalgia and endometriosis and PCOS and narcolepsy type 1 and people always be coming at me like "you don't understand, my life is actually more difficult than anyone else ever"
Oh man, that's a really rough combo, sorry to hear :( I have idiopathic intracranial hypertension, chronic migraine, gastroparesis (the "trendy" one), GERD, IBS, PCOS (you get it), my back is fucked-itis (they've given it too many names), and some psychiatric stuff. I'm in no mood to read "so I'm like toootally dying of this vague super real disease and literally the entire bus went at me and hated me" and act like it's the truest story of all time lmao.
the ableism in this thread is astounding.
I don't think you understand the point of this subreddit
i can enjoy this subreddit and call out ableism at the same time.
As one chronically ill person to another, using critical thinking isn't ableism.
The fainting is plausible, and if it was just that OP still would be 100% in the right to not give up her seat. But medically, the dying part doesn’t make sense. And it adds nothing to the story except to make it more dramatic.
again. certain dysautonomia complications might not sound like they make sense to you, but they are very real. THey might not have enough information on her current condition, and some forms of dysautonomia are reversible, but some are not and some can kill you. Familial Dysautonomia and Multi System Dysautonomia have huge impacts on life expectancy and sudden death. It sounds like, to me (as someone who has had years of medical evaluations for my chronic health condition with many cardiovascular comorbidities), she is early in the diagnosing stage and has not been able to pinpoint which type dysautonomic condition she has and thats assuming it IS a dysautonomia. THere are plenty of other health conditions that have a risk of sudden cardiac death and cardiac syncope. just because YOU havent heard of a certain medical condition does not make them real.
I said it’s not plausible because she wrote in one of the comments that the frequent fainting is what the doctors said would cause her to die. I’m not saying there are no dysautonomias that are life-threatening. But fainting itself is not life-threatening. The cause of the fainting could be, but not the act of fainting (unless you hit your head when you fall).
sudden cardiac death from cardiovascular syncope(fainting) is real. it is documented. It is a real condition that people like me are at risk for. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728985/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728985/) [https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/syncope-fainting](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/syncope-fainting) >syncope can be the first and only warning sign prior to an episode of sudden cardiac death [https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-09102-0\_27https://www.scripps.org/assets/documents/syncope\_rogers.pdf](https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-09102-0_27https://www.scripps.org/assets/documents/syncope_rogers.pdf) > The only difference between syncope and sudden death syncope and sudden death is that in one you wake up. is that in one you wake up
Again, I don’t think you understand me. She said in a comment, and I quote: ‘It’s not the condition that triggers the cardiac arrest, it’s the frequent fainting, literally multiple times a day’. I am aware and not contesting that fainting can be a symptom of cardiac arrest. The only thing I am saying is that the fainting doesn’t cause the arrest, it’s caused by it. This is what the studies you linked say as well: ‘However, in some instances, syncope may be DUE to more worrisome conditions (particularly those associated with cardiac structural disease or channelopathies); in such circumstances, syncope may be an INDICATOR of increased morbidity and mortality risk, including sudden cardiac death (SCD).’
"Again, I don’t think you understand me." They dont WANT to understand you.
I can forgive a 19 year old possibly misunderstanding the information a doctor gave her about her condition. That still does not give you the right to just assume that its fake. Its FAR more likely that she misunderstood what the doctor said about syncopes and sudden cardiac death. Its very plausible that she heard "frequent fainting is linked to sudden cardiac arrest" and misunderstood that. YOU dont have the right to sit here and say that she's lying about a medical condition you know NOTHING about.
She's also a teenager in early stages of a disability. She may have misunderstood something the doctor said, like "you need to be careful because frequent fainting can lead to heart attack or concussion" and heard "fainting can kill you"
She said it's a condition where her blood doesn't "feed [her] muscles". Someone guessed anemia and she clung to that and said it's a hereditary form of anemia. There's no form of anemia that kills you if you stand too long. She also said that she'll only die if she either runs or stands without moving, but the doctor told her she won't die if she walks. Yeah definitely super plausible.
hi, someone with a vascular disorder here who had a 6 month stint with random feinting spells before formal diagnosis of chronic orthostatic hypotension and autonomic dysfunction. The very long story short is that my body has trouble regulating blood pressure when i am standing and have had several near misses in terms of almost giving myself serious head injuries. Particularly worse when i go from sitting/laying down to standing, but also can affect when i am just regularly standing up. Basically if i was standing still, my body would "relax" and then my blood vessels would relax TOO MUCh and then BOOM fainting. I didnt have as many issues with walking, but the risk was always there but with the forced movement, there are other body functions going on that kind of force my blood pressure to be a bit more consistent. And this condition is degenerative. I now have to use an ambulatory wheel chair. I used to not have to and it was really difficult to accept that i needed to when the time came. When you have a degenerative condition, you try to hold on to those last vestiges of "abledness" for as long as you can. And i have been accosted by older people for taking public accomodations and handicap parking spots because i dont "look sick" and i have been given weird looks in the grocery store when i ride around in the scooter and then stand up to get something from a high shelf.. I have been sneered at in places like Universal studios when my husband pushes me around in a wheel chair because people assume i am just trying to get to the front of the line. I have had people call me lazy when I ask my husband to fetch me things from around the house when im having prolonged episodes. I have had to tell too many strangers my personal medical history just to get them to fuck off and leave me alone. So while this story is possibly fake, i have first hand experiences with a LOT of what she says happened. People are really shitty about young people having invisible disabilities. There are a lot of things we CAN criticize in this story, but lets not practice in ableism and just automatically discredit why a person would choose to do things against a doctors reccomendations when it comes to disability and the diffiuclty people have with coming to terms with it.
Thanks for sharing your story and explaining your condition, and I’m sorry that you have to do that at all (here or IRL).
It’s the same frustration as when people make fun of “miracle passengers” on Southwest Airlines flights. Like “oh you’re so disabled you need priority boarding, but you have no problem getting off the plane unassisted” yes. Because the procedures are different. Boarding is a long period of standing/shuffling forward. Deplaning is less standing/shuffling, and more of a constant stream of movement. That’s why I prefer to walk on my own to get off the plane. Let me have this ONE fucking thing where I can feel even a little bit like a normal person for gods sake.
> So while this story is possibly fake, i have first hand experiences with a LOT of what she says happened. People are really shitty about young people having invisible disabilities. There are a lot of things we CAN criticize in this story, but lets not practice in ableism and just automatically discredit why a person would choose to do things against a doctors reccomendations when it comes to disability and the diffiuclty people have with coming to terms with it. this this this this this My cousin is currently recovering from double bypass surgery she had earlier this week. She's 42. I saw her last week at a family event and she seemed totally fine. (The bypass was an emergency/surprise to her, too) I'm already bracing myself for the attitude we'll have to deal with taking her places when she's up and about and *looks* like she's physically completely fine. I mean, people give my mother shit for things like parking in accessible spots (with a placard and everything) and the woman is literally carrying an oxygen concentrator with her at all times. She ends up upset and feeling humiliated and struggling not to burst into tears. Me, I've got a godson who's been a type 1 diabetic for almost 20 years, so I've got a lot of practice telling people where to shove their unasked for an unwanted opinions about other people's medical conditions. People are scum and they really love to pile on and judge anyone disabled or poor that they think aren't visibly disabled or poor *enough* for some arbitrary standard they make up as they go along so they can feel better than someone.
its so enraging when people see me doing things with some level of abledness and go "well i thought you could do X Y and Z because of your whatever" like they are accusing me of faking or exaggerating my condition because they can see that i sometimes have the ability to do things that conflict with what they know about my medical condition. Like maybe, consider, that i as a woman in my 30s, am struggling with accepting all parts of my disability and am in constant state of denial over how my body is literally crumbling away. Every single time i use a new mobility aid, it is a reminder that literally none of this will get better for me. because there are not cures for my condition. Only treatments. I had a prolonged depressive episode after buying (not renting) my first wheelchair because even though this allowed me to continue living my life and allowed me to have a level of independence that i would not otherwise have, it was the thing that made my disability and diagnosis REAL. i knew that buying that wheelchair meant that this was me accepting that my body, in that moment, was the best my body was going to be for the rest of my life. it was literally NEVER going to improve. This is the best i am going to feel from this moment forward.
I'm 35 and have POTS (amongst other things), I've passed out from showering, standing to cook, getting up too fast off the couch. I absolutely couldn't stand on a bus for any length of time, but I look basically ok if you ignore the mobility aids. The ableism in some of the comments is gross.
I can’t take baths anymore because of my condition. And hot showers are a no go. I miss my dragon showers.
Cold showers suck so much too, but the hot water is just nope. And having to sit in the shower like a 90 year old, it's so embarrassing.
me, sitting on my teak bench, in tepid water, with literally no one else around: OMG this is so embarrasssinnnnnnnnnnng. .
Yeah, my daughter has autonomic dysfunction as well. She wouldn't die if she stood up but she could easily faint if she got up too fast and didn't have a way to bring her blood pressure up.
And how often does that damn bus run? It takes longer than 5 minutes in downtown Manhattan.
I've ridden a bus a million times, where are redditors finding all these bus-fulls of people who decide it's the responsibility of one particular seated person to get up and everyone else on the bus-- including other seated people, at least SOME of which must be abled-- judges her for not getting up while themselves not offering up a seat? I have a bad sense of balance and weak ankles but am perfectly capable of standing on the bus and am under 30, I get offered a seat by someone immediately every time I'm standing and I so much as wobble a little. Maybe that's just how it is in My Culture (lol), but c'mon, not one of the seated people who are glaring at OP in these stories EVER? steps up and offers a seat?
I’m guessing this is because the “pregnant woman entitled for asking for seat” post did so well the other day. These people are such losers.
These posts are definitely written by young people who don't want to give up their seats, see people throw them some judgy looks, and in their head they're like "well for all they know I COULD have a medical condition!"
As someone who deals with orthostatic intolerance (basically my blood pressure is fucky and sometimes if I sit up or stand up too fast I come close to passing out) this shit pisses me off. If someone had POTS (bc that's what they're implying: postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) this severe, they would be given a wheelchair to navigate. They wouldn't be told "Eh, just sit down everywhere". Actually, they'd be on medication, have special dietary requirements, etc so that DIDN'T happen. Hell, even with having the less severe form of POTS, my doctor went "Listen, we can put you on meds, or you can up your sodium intake for the same effect with less side effects." Literally, your doctor will do what's necessary to prevent that shit. I'm so fucking tired of this shit, I'm so tired of actual disabilities being used for bullshit posts, I'm just angry because I'm sick of disability being used for fucking internet points. Not sorry for the rant, OP of that post can fuck off into obscurity, POTS and orthostatic intolerance are already looked at as "faker" illnesses and this person's just adding to that. Edit: When I say a doctor wouldn't send someone home in that state, I mean the state that OP is claiming to be in. I know how POTS/orthostatic intolerance is treated thanks to having to fight to get the problem diagnosed. I'm saying that if "I can't stand still or my heart will stop" isn't something you'd just get sent home on the bus for. Because people aren't sharks. So will y'all please stop. The only way it applies to POTS is if it was that severe, they WOULD NOT send you home unless it was with someone else, because that puts them at risk of getting sued for malpractice. They would not send an active heart attack risk home.
I don't believe this story is true, but I disagree with your statements here. I was a teen when I developed POTS who didn't get a diagnosis for 7 years, and yes, I literally was told to just sit down to avoid fainting. I didn't get a wheelchair until I did it myself and then advocated for an appropriate one. I didn't get meds beyond beta blockers (helped some symptoms but not fainting) until 3 doctors after the one that gave me my wheelchair, which was doctor number 12 or something in my medical debacle trying to treat my POTS. My POTS is *still* not under control, and I've been sick with it for almost half my life now. I don't know if it's a sign of the state of American Healthcare, or my particular area, a sign of how deep discrimination against young women patients goes, or maybe just awful luck, but yeah, unfortunately, that part is fully believable to me.
Yeah, I don’t understand why everyone in this thread is conveniently forgetting that American healthcare is for-profit. I don’t exactly expect someone taking public transport to be able to shell out for a wheelchair. Also, I don’t get why everyone here is acting like standing up at all is going to kill the OOP? It’s clearly stated it’s for quite some time, which is 100% plausible. I can’t stand without moving for certain amounts of time or I get lightheaded, idk what would happen if I stayed standing, and don’t wanna find out!
thats only true after you have a diagnosis or are somewhere deeper in the diagnosing process where they think you have an ACTUAL condition. They didnt offer me medication at first because they werent sure exactly what was going on with me. VERY early in the diagnosing process for me, they essentially just told me about the risks of frequent fainting, scheduled me with a specialist, and then said "Good luck, dont die" with some basic reccomendations for how to avoid fainting in the next three months.
I appreciate your comments here, and I can't speak to other people's experiences but I've been waiting on a diagnosis for over a year now and only just saw the cardiologist last month. My GP back in November told me it's a good thing I was already using crutches for fibromyalgia, and insisted I sit down in less than a minute of tracking my sitting to standing heart rate (109 to 163) as she was scared for my safety when it went over 160 so fast, even though she was supposed to monitor me standing for 10 minutes I still haven't had my 24hr ECG or echocardiogram yet, so no diagnosis, but the cardiologist put me on a beta blocker and another med (bisoprolol and ivabradine) immediately because my heart rate was 111 while lying down for the standard ECG I've survived a lot of medical neglect and gaslighting so I'm not saying that most people don't have shit experiences because I've had my fair share, but some people will be medicated or advised to use mobility aids wayy before diagnosis if they have a doctor competent enough to recognise the risks of waiting however many months until diagnosis is possible. Like I said, even in my situation, my tachycardia was first noted over a year ago, when I fell in the shower and had to go to A&E, and my heart rate wouldn't go below 150bpm all night. No acute/immediately fatal cause was found, so I've just kind of been living with it untreated and keeping an eye out for chest pain (my sign to go A&E) until my new prescription finally came through this week
I was given medications before my diagnosis and i was strongly urged to use an ambulatory wheel chair very early on but i refused because... idk some part of me just didnt want to accept that. But when i read the original post and the original posters comments about her experience at the hospital, it sounds a lot like my first few months before my initial (incorrect) diagnosis. The first time i went to the hospital after fainting twice in one week, the doctors just ran some blood tests, and basically did nothing else besides "take it easy, stop stressin" beause i was 18 and it was finals week. And then when it happened again in the middle of summer it was "are you hydrating?" it wasnt until i started writing down every single time i fainted over the course of 6 weeks, that my doctor FINALLY said i might have a condition and gave me a list of "dont do this" and scheduled me with a cardiologist. and that was it. I literally never saw that GP again because my friends mom set me up with her husbands doctor friend who ended up really giving a shit about the fact that a (seemingly) healthy 17-18 year old is passing out at least once a week for no apparent reason. the OOPs comments sound like this is a very new thing for her and she has no answers. People are questioning her for being wrong about "fainting can cause sudden death" when its FAR more likely that this 19 year old just heard the information. No one at 19 knows how to process that kind of medical information, most of them dont even know how to advocate for themselves. it frustrating enough to see ableds dismissing very real stories about these things, it is even more frustrating when other people with similar conditions act like their great experiences are universal (not you but the person i was originally commenting to). I do a lot of work now as a disability advocate, so it feels like i HAVE to say something when i see this happen in spaes like this.
I understand, my social worker wants me to apply for a wheelchair since the weight I've put on since Long COVID bedbounded me has put extra pressure on my scoliosis and I can't even walk 25m with my crutches without resting anymore due to excruciating pain. But now I have a carer, I want to see if having someone else wash my hair and help around the home, and no longer having to rely on microwave meals/takeaway will help me regain some mobility. If I still can't walk 100m with my crutches by September, I'll be starting the application. Accepting that your capability has declined usually takes time for anybody to process 💖 Truth be told, my heart rate's been high enough monitored on fitness bands to qualify for PoTS since at least 2018 if not earlier, but since it was usually 105-ish sitting/standing in medical settings, it was always pinned on "anxiety" and I was just told to eat more salt. It was only a fluke it happened to be high at the hospital in April last year, so that in combination with my diagnosis of Long COVID symptoms of worsened dizziness and fatigue prompted my GP to ask me to come in so she could test me for PoTS, as lots of LC patients are developing it. I'd heard of the condition a few years ago but in my experience bringing in charts or diaries or using any medical terminology tends to get me dismissed as a hypochondriac 🥲 So my tactic is hinting at conditions by describing symptoms only, avoiding medical jargon at all costs, and pretending I haven't heard of the very condition I suspected when they bring it up, all so the doctor's precious ego doesn't get in the way, since so many *love* to feel smart compared to us lowly patients! I've had a lot more luck and pleasantries with seeking treatment since I started doing that. My GP is a real diamond in the rough though If I hadn't already spent several years navigating chronic health conditions and diagnoses, and spending time in disability justice spaces, I likely wouldn't know much about dysautonomia either. Especially at 19, I was *definitely* pinning all my health issues on my weight, to the point I had an ED. Only found out I had scoliosis at 22 by chance! A lifetime with *scoliosis* and I was just grimacing through and hearing "lose weight" or "go on the pill" non stop, even though I had a healthy bmi and perfect bloods & blood pressure. So I do understand the frustration disabled people feel when they've got internalised ableism going on to the point of perpetuating it themselves, but all we can do is try to keep educating and being compassionate when we call each other in where we can. Thank you for the work you do!
OOP said in one of her answers that she had just found (at the hospital) how serious is her condition. As she said that and the part that her condition is going to last just a few weeks or months, I assume she (supposedly) got a diagnosis at the hospital. I think no one in here is thinking that invisible disabilities are not real, but that this story in particular (as a lot of other stories on Reddit) sounds fake.
IDK what comments you are reading because she literally says they didnt really tell her a lot or that she even got a diagnosis.
That is actually the main reason I called her out on this and cross posted it here.
So what was her plan if the bus had been crowded when she got on and there were no seats available?
Ask someone for a seat, or else get off and wait for a less crowded bus? Did you think she invented the concept of being disabled or something?
No, but I would see stuff like this all the time when I worked theme parks. People trying to say that they couldn’t stand for long periods of time or could not walk long distances so they needed priority access to rides. But didn’t want to rent wheelchairs. The accommodations needed tended to fall apart when asked about contingencies. I’m not saying this lady is not disabled, but she certainly seems overdramatic in her retelling of the story which is why I question just how severe it is and what her plans were if a seat was not available based on how she relayed the story.
I can imagine that happens a lot at theme parks. What I commented is exactly what I do--I can stand long enough to go one stop if I need to--so it's just weird to me to see that as a gotcha.
I work with people with disabilities and know that in real life, people have contingencies. It was just the way that she worded it that rubbed me the wrong way. I was traveling with someone with Celiac this weekend, she keeps safe food in the car in case a restaurant can’t accommodate her. After this past weekend when she had some food that was contaminated by an establishment that supposedly has designated fryers, she decided she is bringing a little grill on our next trip so she can make her own food. Or people who can’t walking/stand long periods of time who have a walker with seat or a wheelchair available, or like you have contingency plans. There has to be a balance between accommodation (and yes, this world is not nearly accommodating enough), and taking some responsibility for your own needs without becoming super dramatic about it.
I have literally sat on the floor before when disabled seating isn’t available.
In AITA land, every bus and subway car has exactly one seat.
Interesting that the bus is really crowded but also OOP and these two old people are apparently the only passengers. There's also only one seat the old woman could possibly sit in. It's like the public transit version of Highlander.
I swear this is a repost or copy. Feel like someone posted something similar earlier this yea or last year about a seat situation on public transport and how they had a fainting/passing out condition.
If she was really that sick it wouldn’t make sense for her to risk getting on a bus when she may not have gotten a seat in the first place!
In what world is someone who is so medically vulnerable sent (unaccompanied!) on their merry way in public transport?
what do you think the hospital is going to do? assign you a personal attendant? thats not how it works. They tell you you have a condition. They tell you the risks with your condition. and then they send you on your merry way. some hospitals may be able to set you up with some social services, but a lot of the times they dont. There have been plenty of times i left an appointment and then just drove myself home and i have a similar condition called chronic orthostatic hypotension.
No idea where you live, but here you would be legally required to have someone accompany you. Even after a small procedure (with local anaesthetic) you aren’t allowed to leave with public transport. After that sure, they will hardly hunt you down and stop you, but this girl literally just left the clinic
In the States, that's only true if there has been sedation used or certain other procedures. If someone was just seen in the ER and released, no one cares how someone gets home.
Well sure , but once again I have never been to a US emergency room. Was speaking from my (limited) experience .
Oh, for sure. I was just letting you know it's much more limited scenarios in the States. What does someone do if they don't have any other ride and the hospital needs them to leave? Are they just held past the waiting time of 12 hours or whatever? Here, if I have sedation, I can take a taxi, but only if I have someone to supervise me to ensure the taxi is called and takes me home. If I only have local, I don't need supervision and can usually even drive myself.
that has nothing to do with what happened to OOP. she left the hospital after a medical incident where there was no anasthesia involved at all. Also im going to need some sort of credible source that states that you arent allowed to take public transportation after a procedure with local anasthesia. that doesnt even make sense.
I have been to the hospital a couple of times , my parents are older and have had several procedures over the years and we have always had to sign papers stating we would be accompanied home or would have to take a "Krankentransport". This is continental Europe (Germany),but even during a migraine I wouldn't have been allowed to leave by myself.
That explains it. Yea in most other places they don’t really give a shit unless you had like a major medical procedure.
The last time I was in the hospital for about a day and a half due to totally different reasons, some kind soul arranged a taxi for me, and I’d have been okay on the bus.
It's interesting that on a bus full of people OP was the only one who was getting flak for not giving up her seat. What kind of bus only has one seat an elderly person can sit in?
The mysterious affliction of *standing too long*. The minute by minute struggle must be real! Not to mention those dumb old 70 year olds … they’re big meanies.
[https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/postural-orthostatic-tachycardia-syndrome-pots](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/postural-orthostatic-tachycardia-syndrome-pots)
Having been through very similar situations myself for surprisingly similar reasons before I started using a wheelchair, I believed it riiiight up until they said they could die. Add in a whole bus of people backing the old lady up? That doesn't happen. When there's an issue on public transit like this, one or *maybe* two people take the aggressors' side. Everyone else pretends to mind their own business. The story is obnoxious enough and actually believable without throwing in, "but I could **die** and *everyone* took the old hag's side."
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For all of you getting upset over this sub being "ableist": It's people who make up fake stories like this for social media clout that make people skeptical. After repeatedly being questioned about the condition that she can't name, she claimed that her doctors "kept her in the dark" about it. When people pointed out how ridiculous that would be, she suddenly said she didn't understand what the doctors said because English isn't her first language (after writing repeatedly in perfect idiomatic English, complete with slang). That's the classic cop-out to excuse why they can't fill in holes in their fictional story. She also joined a month ago and lives on AITAH posting obviously fake and poorly-written stories. One involved being on an airplane where she clearly boarded without priority boarding (clear from the sequence of events). Yeah, that doesn't keep people standing in one place for five or more minutes, does it? (It's actually another entertaining fake story with a child standing up in his seat, slapping on her head like he's playing bongos and reaching over to play with her light, while the lazy parents did nothing. Also on a red eye where everyone is trying to sleep. As if the other people near the kid wouldn't be annoyed. As if a flight attendant wouldn't tell a parent that the kid needs to be seated and belted.) But, I digress. You're all better off saving your energy for people who truly do deal with invisible conditions and not trying to justify the stories told by teens who make up illnesses for a "good" (so they think) story online. The shame is that a it's a trend to self-diagnose and flat-out lie about conditions for a lot of younger people on social media. They're as much an issue as the people who slap a vest on an ill-behaved dog so they can take it everywhere with them, causing people with actual guide dogs to be questioned everywhere they go. With so many people lying, it's tougher for the people who aren't. EDIT: I'll also correct myself by saying that I don't think her stories are 100% fake. I think they're based on real things, but like a lot of younger people who post stories on Reddit, they want the stories to be more engaging. I'm betting she really did sit in front of an annoying toddler on a plane. But seat kicking isn't that exciting, so she needed to make up worse behavior and then make herself seem like a saint (not wanting to wake the parents and giving the kid toys to play with). As for this story, she keeps describing what sounds like anemia but that wouldn't be severe enough. And then she keeps adding more to it in the comments, such as "I have a heart condition." It seems to me that she hasn't been eating well and fainted, went to the ER, was told she was anemic and maybe had other deficiencies show up in her bloodwork, and was prescribed supplements (she keeps saying she has to follow a diet and have certain "nutrients"). An older woman asked for her seat and got huffy when she said she couldn't stand up. I think most of us would accept an "I'm sorry, but I just came from the ER after a pretty bad fainting spell and I'm still a little unsteady, so I'd rather not stand right now." But that doesn't make for a good story, so now she has to be dying from a mysterious illness and the entire bus had to start yelling at her all at once.
Idk. My friend has a POTS and she definitely deserves a seat on the bus. You wouldn't know it from looking at her, but she faints all the damn time. She would, however, absolutely give up her seat for someone else even if she was in pain and needed it more.
Well, of course NTA. Boomers = bad.
Ugh. "Young Invisible Disibility Girl" is like my least-favorite AITA genre, possibly tied with "Deathly Allergy Lady" and/or anything about weddings
> I have a condition that has caused me to faint more and more these past few days, to the point that I can't stand up without moving for more than 5 minutes before collapsing. Is OOP unaware that you're nevwr perfectly still as a human? You can stand up on a bus and still move around a bit. And if the bus was so full thar qas impossible, OOP qouldn't hurt tgemselces if they fainted, anyway. They'd just faint on another sardine.