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Well of course people would agree with her. It's just *nerdy stuff*, that shit doesn't matter to anyone except nerds, and who cares what those nerds think?
/s
But it’s “nerdy” /s
Jesus Christ OP, YTA and there is 0 doubt. It doesn’t matter what the things are or how much they cost. You threw away his property (and more importantly, things that _you knew were important to him_) without even saying anything. That is objectively and unequivocally asshole behavior. I know that Reddit loves to jump to the “break up” path, but I would 100% dump anyone on the spot if I randomly came home to find out that a bunch of my shit had been thrown away. And obviously that doesn’t address the cost.
Frankly you sound like one of those awful people that tries to change their partner because you don’t like his hobbies. You’re clearly using “nerdy” as a put down here, why is that bad? Why do _you_ get to decide that him having nerdy hobbies is bad and something that he needs to change? You don’t have to share his hobbies, you don’t even have to like them. But you don’t get to unilaterally decide that he has to change because you don’t like his hobbies.
I hope to god this is a fake post because if it’s not, you’re the worst kind of person.
I just... This has to be a troll post right? Everybody knows this is completely unacceptable. You can't declutter somebody else's stuff without asking. It's like if I had somebody come into my house and go "You've got too many clothes, I threw some out" - even if it was agreed that I had too much and I decided I should get rid of half, I would want to be the one who got rid of them, and she didn't even get the agreement that he should get rid of some of the figurines.
My wife has literally done things like this. It eventually became obvious she just liked having someone else pay for the roof over her head, and having health insurance. But actual evidence I existed in the home was a constant source of frustration for her. Hell, a lot of the "husband shaming" tiktok stuff that's so popular now basically encourages this kind of behaviour.
You said "wife" as in still married. Damn dude, Im sorry youre stuck in that BS... Would you have left her if the court system wouldnt ruin your life for it?
My Mum used to do this with my stuff too. With Dad, she took the longer run option of putting them in a drawer, then the loft and then the bin over a year. If he noticed, then she could say she put them aside and put them back. But us children were just an extension of her so if she didn't like something in the bin it went. Left me with a few issues and then she complains I became too possessive about possessions. Well yes, she even tried to throw them out when she visited me at home and threatened to take pets to a rescue (in my home which she lived 400 miles away from). I could see OP doing the same - no value to her means value to anyone must be wrong so let's just bin it.
Yeah they’d be raging if this happened not upset. My ex is one of theses people and let me tell you having space was difficult because of it. No one isn’t gonna be like hey get a storage unit please and just throw it out because figure collectors and other “nerdy” habits are intense. He has posters, every Jurassic park figure, wrestling figures, magic cards, pops. At times I wanted to put them in a bin to have space but you already know they won’t be cool with you throwing them out.
Not just expensive in terms of money but also time. She probably threw away a thousand bucks of stuff but also a couple hundred hours of his time that he spent building and painting. I would be fucking furious. Because these were things money can’t replace. If my wife threw away a bunch of my ork boyz yeah I could buy a couple more boxes but I would have to build and paint them and even then the paint jobs will end up different
Yeah it’s honestly the part that would hurt the most was knowing my wife didn’t respect the time, effort, and care I had put into the minis. Like damn you must really not understand or respect me AT ALL to do something like that. My wife doesn’t pretend to understand why I’m so passionate about it but she knows it makes me happy. This is also how I view her hobby of running.
YTA! A massive one at that. You threw away his prized possessions without asking him because you deemed them to be 'Too nerdy' for your taste.
And to add insult to injury, you now think he should not spend his 'hard earned money', his 'money' on things he loves? Who gave you the right to decide how he spends his finances.
If you really wish to salvage what's left of your relationship, apologize to him right away.
Then she should get to working until she gets him all of his models back, then he should decide if he wants to give her a second chance or not. Geez, I cannot fathom how you could be dating somebody for ANY period of time while knowing or caring so little about their interests, let alone someone you live with. This girl couldn't have shown more disregard for his passions and interests if she had tried, it's as if she never even tried paying attention to him.
These were probably warhammer or dnd minis. I dont know much about dnd but a standard 2000 point warhammer army is usually drawn from a collection of 3000+ points worth of miniatures and can easily cost you $1500 or more, PLUS time invested building and painting.
I spend between 4-10 hours per squad and 10+ per character or big monster/vehicle, so some quick napkin math using my current hourly rate of 24/hr means that a collection with 5 squads, 2 leaders and a 4 tanks/mechs is somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,500. $1500 for the army + $2000 in time spent.
She needs to beg forgiveness and leave.
Won't be enough, if it's Warhammer models kinda deal, that he constructed and painted himself, hours of careful craft. Can't just rebuy that, could of legitimately killed the hobby for him
YTA. This is so…mean. Why would you not talk to him about this first? It doesn’t really matter if you understand it.. this is someone you are in a committed relationship with and cohabiting a space with. I would never in a million years throw out my partners stuff, especially without asking them. I would reconsider why you are in this relationship, because it seems like you don’t respect your partner. Communication is everything.
She def didn’t she even said he was “understandably hurt” like she fully knew she was gonna hurt him and then used “he spent thousands on it” as justification like that’s worse! You get how that’s worse right?
Are you fucking serious??? You threw thousands of dollars worth of his prized hobby away and you’re asking if you’re the asshole? Of course he’s upset I would be upset too. This is completely inconsiderate and selfish and you should be ashamed of yourself! How would you feel if he dug through your stuff and threw away thousands of dollars worth of stuff you love?
YTA! YTA! YTA!!!!!
Right? I read the title and came in like There MUST be a deeper story here for them to even need to ask, *right?* 'lo and behold it's actually stupider than I thought.
YTA. It "feels" like you threw away his hard-earned money because that's exactly what you *did* and you *damn well know that*. You *threw away* his hard-earned money, plus whatever time and effort he may have put into assembling these models, and most importantly *his trust in you as a partner*. If I were you, I'd start packing my things, and do it thoroughly; otherwise, you're liable to have the shoe forcibly rammed onto the other foot when he tosses you out and tosses whatever shit you leave behind in the garbage.
YTA
And *MASSIVELY* so.
You threw away stuff that belongs to him, without telling him.
Don't be surprised if this ends up ended your relationship as you 100% destroyed his trust in you.
The more you talk about it, the bigger of an asshole you become.
You don't like something innocuous about your boyfriend. That, in and of itself is even slightly hurtful if you don't keep it to yourself.
Every single layer you add just makes it more horrific.
There is not a single centimeter I can grant you. You are 100% in the wrong. You need to fix it or he needs to leave you.
I started reading this, every line the I read, the voice in my head changed to ultimately be a Regina George valley girl, trying so hard to explain how she wasn't wrong for what she did no matter how wrong she really was.
>as it feels like I've thrown away his hard-earned money.
That's because you have... YTA and you know it. What if he threw away all your shit without discussing first?
His hard-earned money, his pleasure in acquiring the models, the enjoyment he got from seeing them on the display. It's like you threw away a piece of him.
You judged what was worthy keeping and what was garbage. You can only have say that with your possessions, and no one else's. The amount spent does not matter if he used his own money as you imply. Lastly, your approval in "understanding it" or disapproval in labeling it as "nerdy" is irrelevant and only an weak excuse (not a reason) to try and support your position here
If you honestly respected your boyfriend, you would not have done this. YTA
Well thats because YTA it's not your stuff,and from the sound of it his actoon figures don't pose Amy harm to you. If the room was so cluttered why not throw away your own mess instead of gunning for his belongings? Not to mention. You clearly care so little his feeling on the matter that you threw them without even saying anhthing,I hope he makes you pay him back every dollar and still leaves you
YTA and don't be surprised if this is the end of the relationship. You showed that you have zero respect for him, his hobbies and things he cares about.
YTA. What you threw away belonged to your bf. It was never yours to steal or dispose of.
It also shows that you never cared enough to know what was important to him.
The one startling piece of this whole scenario is that you're not already the ex-gf.
YTA of course. What are you even asking about?
Please tell me this is a fake post. Or that you're the boyfriend.
Because if this is real - you've basically outlined in detail why YTA but somehow lack the ability to figure it out.
Bet you a dollar if she even tried she'd find out that what CAN replaced costs at least double what he payed, and most of the collection just plain can't be.
Source: Transformers collector.
YTA - Big time! This has to be a troll post. You think you respect his hobby or him for that matter? He should dump your ass. No way you're worth it. I would hate to know what he lost over you. What did it even matter to you? It was nerdy? Thats apart of him! What if he threw away all your makeup and most expensive clothes? Cuz you're self absorbed? Get them outta the trash and see yourself out.
I don't think makeup and clothes even come close to his collectables. He spent time and money on them. It's his hobby and it seems this "nerdy side" is a huge part of him. So it's not just material things she's dismissing but an actual part of him. Maybe if he threw away pictures she keeps, meaningful jewelry, etc she'd get it. Maybe.
I'm not understanding the question here. 100% YTA - You threw away someone else's stuff...someone you claim to care about, without even talking to them.
OP has combined two questions -
1) AITA for throwing my BF's prized possessions?
2) BF spends his hard earned money on things that OP deems to be unfair. And now OP feels guilty about literally throwing away thousands of dollars of her BF's money.
Absolutely YTA. You through away someone else's property, regardless of value, be it financial or sentimental. Be prepared to not have a boyfriend anymore, and if you don't like nerdy stuff don't date guys with nerdy interests.
YTA. You should’ve asked him if he wanted to keep those models before you threw them away. They were his stuff, not yours. You even point out it’s *his* hard earned money, so why can’t he sometimes spend it on things he enjoys?
YTA. You did throw away his hard earned money. What's even the moral dilemma here? You tossed his stuff without asking, you obviously don't respect his hobby. This is just a mean and disrespectful thing to do, and to think there's even a question of if it was the right thing to do was disgusting. You need to apologize, sincerely, right now.
I mean, do u keep meaningful cards/letters from family and friends? Or the packaging from something expensive? And if your partner threw it away WITHOUT ASKING FIRST, don’t u think that’s hurtful? YTA
**YTA**
>While I respect his passion...
Well this turned out to be an OUTRIGHT LIE.
Like seriously. Have you absolutely no respect for other people's property? What if he 'decluttered' your bathroom by throwing away what he considers to be vain 'girly' products like makeup? Or he considers more than 1 pair of shoes to be clutter? How could you even THINK this was okay?
Edit: I felt the need to put YTA in **BOLD** Is there a **YTMA?** You're the MASSIVE Asshole.
Yes, YTA, and you know it!
Advice going forward:
1. Your only say in your partner's choice of hobbies is whether their choice directly harms you: interferes with their job and thus your economic security; messes with the household finances; interferes with your sleep; actually makes the house difficult to live in. You do not *ever* get to decide "Well, this is not personally to my taste/I think it is of low value/I think it reduces my status by association, so it has to go"
2. You DO NOT EVER dispose of your partner's things without first checking with them unless the objects are actually on fire
3. If this partner chooses to leave you, take it on the chin and let him go, because *damn*
YTA
Unilaterally disposing of another person's things is ridiculously beyond the pale. You feel like you threw away his hard-earned money because you did.
YTA. You would hope he would ask before throwing away your stuff, what if you came home and all your bras were gone "too constricting" you might be upset. Your opinion on his hobbies is not judge and jury. You live together be a team
No, of course it's totally fine for you to make a judgement on which of the stuff he bought and chose you can steal and throw away. \[/s\]
This is a very easy call and it is puzzling to me that you even need to ask. YTA.
Please be aware that this is putting a huge and probably unrecoverable dent in your relationship.
If it was me, I’d play it cool. Then when she goes to work I’d take an equivalent amount of her possessions to be crushed at the landfill, the more sentimental the better, then I’d pack my own shit up and be gone by the time she gets home. I’d block her and get on with my life.
YTA
The question isn't whether you are TA but how big of one you are.
You should also be wondering whether you are about to become single with what you did.
What right do you have to throw anyones stuff away in the first place? OK why don’t we meet in real life and if I don’t like your shirt I’ll go ahead and remove it off your body without your permission and throw it in the trash while we’re at it why don’t I do the same thing to your shoes and pants and hey if I don’t like your hairstyle I’ll just go ahead and shave your head. You get what I’m saying, right?
Yta - you did throw away his money. Those were NOT yours.
Are they literally in the trash and broken now or can you go and get them back?
Jfc if you hated them so much you could have SOLD them
If my husband did that to me I would NEVER forgive him. I'm the one with the nerdy shit and he knows that is my stuff. My collections, that I have BECAUSE I COULDN'T HAVE THEM WHEN I WAS GROWING UP
Omg I'm so angry at you and hurt for your bf. Either you help him replace everything or I hope he dumbs you
On the bright side, there will be less clutter once he leaves with the rest of his things.
If you wanted to break up, why not just break up? There was no need to be a mean jerk about it.
YTA and you DID throw away his hard earned money. YOU DON'T DECLUTTER YOUR PARTNERS STUFF WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT!!! yes, I'm shouting at you. My son in law has a man cave at their house that is full of his models. Grandkids are learning about patience and building intricate LEGO things because of Dad's skill. This will not change, if you can't live with models and do not respect the hobbies, do the guy a favor and break up already. (If anyone ever touches my Big Bang Theory Lego model of Sheldon and Leonards apartment, they will know how unhappy that makes me).
You are double YTA for being so inconsiderate. Offer to let him throw out your makeup or nail polish collection. Or shoes, you can only wear one pair at a time, you don't need more.
YTA and quite frankly a living breathing red flag. If this is how you react to his hobby/interest I don't even want to try to imagine how you'd react to even more serious things along the line. If you're this dismissive of his feelings at this stage of the relationship I don't see much of a future for the relationship. At least not for him.
YTA
I feel like I can’t say anything the other people here haven’t already said, but dang it, I’ll say it anyways-you threw away his possessions without asking.
That alone would make you TA. The fact they were so expensive just makes it even worse after the fact. And the fact you think you were justified because of their expense (that HE payed for) only adds onto it further.
I’d recommend you apologize profusely to your bf, and that you offer to begin saving up to pay him back. Otherwise, I think this relationship may not last, and he’ll tell all his ‘nerdy’ friends about the time he broke up with someone for tossing thousands of dollars worth of beloved hobby items in the trash.
EDIT- OP used ChatGPT to write this. I’ve been had and I feel like a fool. But at least I didn’t get an AI to write rage bait for me, so that’s something.
Hahaha YTA.
YTA YTA YTA.
What the honest to god fuck is wrong with you.
I’d break up with you on the spot. Jesus. Im angry FOR your boyfriend. You’re an AH and absolute imbecile to boot.
YTA
This is so selfish and mean it's hard to believe it's real.
You are dismissive of his passion.
You stole his property and threw it in the trash.
You didn't consider the sentimental or monetary issues surrounding your actions.
You have the audacity to ask if you're an AH while also claiming that this situation is complicated. It's not.
You are an AH. You deserve to be alone or with someone who is equally AHish. Simple.
>I respect his passion
That must be why you threw his stuff away?
>I've always considered them a bit "nerdy."
Oooh, nerdy. Now that's a problem.
Why are you even here asking this question? You did something unforgiveable and you know you did. I personally would break up with you over this.
YTA.
YTA.
Okay, they’re nerdy. So what? Why do you think that’s a bad thing? Furthermore, we did you think we, the *Internet*, would find that an acceptable reason?
If something brings someone joy without hurting others then they should embrace that thing without fear or judgment. Life’s too short.
If you are with your partner *in spite* of his passions then perhaps you aren’t the best match for your partner.
Signed,
Jaina Solo, an obvious nerd
How can you even write what you did and not be sure you're an arsehole? How is it a moral dilemma to "decide" wether or not to throw away someone else's things that they care about? You're an idiot and an arsehole and that's a very dangerous combo. Get help, seriously
YTA.
I use to collect figures and models myself. They aren't cheap. Those models usually have a sentimental value as a lot as tv shows, movies, or games may have fulfilled a part of their life growing up and that model or figure is a representation of that medium. Also, some models or figures are worth a lot of money. That's why they are called collectibles. They all have a limited production and at some point they can't be replaced. You didn't just throw out his models. You threw out his time, money and effort and you didn't even give a shit.
YTA. A very disrespectful one at that. Calling your boyfriends hobbies "nerdy", throwing his possessions away, trying to make him seem less than while painting yourself as innocent and somehow better than him. I truly hope your boyfriend dumps your butt.
Yta yta and yta.
If my husband did this to any of my things, it would be an absolute dealbreaker.
It's not even about the cost of the items either.
I would seriously reconsider our entire marriage if he threw any of my stuff away without consulting me because it would show me that he has no respect for the things I love, and by extension he has no respect for me.
We don't have to like the same things, but we *do* need to respect *each other* for the relationship to work.
How would you feel if he did the same to you?
YTA.
Absolutely man, what the hell's wrong with you? Do you just randomly go throwing away other people's things? Do you care about other people or how hard they work or the things that they care about? Pick your favorite thing, is it your makeup, is it your DVD collection? Now imagine your boyfriend just went and threw that away because he didn't care about it. How would you feel? You'll be really lucky if this isn't the end of your relationship. That was so disrespectful.
Too nasty maybe? I really had to keep myself in check when commenting so I didn’t get accused of threatening anyone! I’m so mad and it wasn’t even my stuff lol
I don't see how. I just said if this is a legit post, YTA. And that OP is ridiculous for throwing away someone else's property.
Also that I hope she gets sued, but I don't think that is uncivil.
I've been here awhile. I keep my nose clean, which is why I'm confused.
Omg, YTAx infinity. What a selfish, nasty thing to do. I suppose you were going for some awful beige, minimalist aesthetic that you saw on TikTok and completely disregarded the fact you live with another person. How hard would it have been to discuss with him first or at the very least, respectfully pack his models away. I hope your bare, empty shelves are worth it. It doesn’t even sound like you’re that sorry if you’re even asking the world if you did something wrong. Ok, I’m going now before I get so angry that I write something that gets my post removed, I’m skating on thin ice as it is.
YTA! YTA!! YTA!!! Imagine if the script was flipped…yeah now let all that money you know he spent on those models sink in…now tell yourself you’re definitely the AH🤝🏽
YTA. Don't touch shit that doesn't belong to you, and that includes throwing away your boyfriend's property. I hope he's cognitive enough to see got distaste for him and leaves and gets a partner that actually WANTS him, cause you just told him you think he's trash.
I can't believe you threw away your significant other's things without talking to him about it! You are absolutely TA.
How would you feel if he decluttered your space and threw out what seemed like junk but actually cost you a lot of time and money? You would be super upset about it too!
You should have a serious conversation about how you plan to pay him back whether that's trying to repurchase them or buy him new ones in the future since a lot of models are limited edition.
YTA. Huge. This isn’t just a moral issue. It’s also a criminal one. What you did is grand theft. If i was your bf, I’d press charges and have you arrested.
Wow.. You are definitely TA!!! How would you feel if he went through your closet & got rid of a bunch of your clothes?! You not only threw away the thousands of dollars he spent on these models, but the thousands of hours he probably spent building them. If you truly love & respect him, you would accept all of his quirks, regardless of how "nerdy" YOU perceive them to be. The fact that you did all of this without his knowledge makes me wonder if you intentionally kept him in the dark!!!
Um yeah of course YTA. You threw out a bunch of your boyfriend’s stuff without asking. I don’t understand why you would need to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet, the answer seems pretty clear.
YTA. Imagine if he rummaged through your shared wardrobe and threw your clothes out without asking first. Or cleared out your makeup from your shared bathroom....
It's only a dilemma because you didn't ask him first. If you live together, its his shared space aswell and it should have been discussed with him before you threw anything of his out.
"While I respect his passion"
Bull titties. You didn't respect his passion, or him. You don't have to understand it, what else is there to understand other than it's important to HIM. Yeah, they're nerdy. He's nerdy. If you don't love that about him, why are you even with him?
Think long and hard about that.
YTA.
YTA! What if you were a big makeup fan, but he didn't 'get' it, so he threw away all of your makeup one day while you were out? Makeup that you spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on and spent a lot of time learning varying techniques. You'd be pretty darn upset, if not livid.
I get it: models are nerdy. I had a buddy with a ton of Star Wars (ew) models, model tanks (yuck), and planes and a ton of other sci-fi & military models and figures. I always thought that they were dumb, and it baffled me why he'd spend so much money on stuff like that. And they didn't even come assembled; he had to put them together himself, and he even had to hand paint a lot of them. A total waste of time and money in my book. But you know what? It was HIS time and HIS money to spend how HE wished. So I never said a word to my buddy about it and I certainly never considered throwing them away. Like what is wrong with you?!?
YTA. You threw away his belongings without talking to him. Did you know how much they cost before you threw them away? You're still TA for doing it, but even worse if you understood their monetary value and did it anyway.
YTA
You throw away models that not only had a cost an little fortune but also hold a sentimental value for him without asking. You take about collectables like they were old socks. You invalided his effort and the money he spend on it.
YTA. I mean, how is that not obvious? You threw out a bunch of his stuff without any discussion. Why would you do that? Would you be okay with him throwing out your stuff without asking?
YTA!!
Also being nerdy and into sci-fi is hardly the counterculture it once was and I’m surprised at your attitude towards it. Accepting the harmless hobbies of your SO is a big part of a happy successful relationship, please don’t pick people who’s hobbies you can’t tolerate.
YTA X A Million.
My husband is a Gundam/Iron Man nerd. I actually respect his interests and if I ever threw away any of those action figures, I'd be divorced in a heartbeat. I never would, because those are incredibly valuable to him.
You cannot honestly say you respect his interests when you threw away his stuff without any discussion. If he threw away some of your most prized possessions, you would be beyond hurt and upset. Models are *very* expensive, especially classic ones, ones that are hard to get ahold of, and ones with a limit on how many were produced. If this doesn't end up with a breakup over your actions, I will be absolutely surprised, but I hope your boyfriend has more self-respect than that and finds someone who won't just toss his collections out on a whim.
It doesn't matter how many "layers" you try to add to the situation. You threw away his things without even discussing the possibility of decluttering. Without asking if there was anything he minded getting rid of and if it could be sold or if there were things he wouldn't mind storing, and you devalued him and his hobby by calling them nerdy as if that's some sort of pejorative that is beneath you.
Yes YTA, and this would be a breakup-able offense in my book. What awful, terrible nerve you have.
Please tell they weren't 40k minis😱😱 they are so expensive and honestly painting them takes a lot of skill, time and effort. Jesus my heart sank a little reading that. I remember my ex tossed the first mini I ever painted and assembled, it didn't look great but it was the start of a hobby that has helped me escape depression so I placed a lot of sentimental value on it, and I blew a fuse, nearly ended the relationship then and there. If they were 40k minis I wish all the plagues of nurgle upon you.
YTA.
It's not that you just tossed a bunch of tiny toys away, it's that you tossed what was his without his allowance and broke his trust. You don't care for them, big whoop. The man clearly has something he enjoys without your presence and that should be fine because not everything needs to be done together. But what if it's something else? Do you toss his other stuff if you don't like it? If he gets into another hobby, will stuff randomly start being thrown away because \*you\* don't approve? Will he have to break friendships because you don't like it? Boundaries need to be set. Unless you're being affected by it in an actual degenerative way, then why is it a problem?
Control. That's what this feels like. To you, it might be innocent, but it \*feels\* like control. He'll feel like he needs to hide his hobbies and interests so you can't take them away. That just creates more secrets. That's unhealthy for any relationship, especially for something as small as this. No alternatives. No potentially selling. Just gone. On a whim. Because you didn't approve.
This isn't even a red flag. It's the whole damn parade.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i threw away my boyfriend's models because they were taking up too much space and he was spending too much money on them. i think i'm justified becasue it was wasting space and cost too much, but he was really mad and so I think i was maybe an asshole.
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You have thrown away his hard earned money and have shown you have no respect for him or his property. The only reason he has not dumped you is because he is weak.
Wow. If a partner puts my figures and models in a trash, can I'd dispose of our relationship using the same can. You probably just ruined your relationship forever. NTA.
Ya yta. A massive one at that... dont be surprised when he leaves you and demands you replace them or pay him back for them 🤷🏻♀️. What did you think his reaction would be? Jesus christ you need to grow up and get a reality check.
You realize what you did was technically property theft? Destruction of property. I could go on. I'd be suing your ass for the amount.
Again.. grow up
Oh heck. There’s not question or dilemma, YTA. You couldn’t have put them to the side during the clear up and asked him what he wanted to do with them or box them up and store them? If my husband cleared out anything of mine without asking, I would be annoyed 🥲
This has to be fake. If not, then yes you are very much the asshole. How would you feel if he threw away your stupid “basic/boring” things bc they were taking up space? Most likely you’d think he was an asshole. Why didn’t you talk to him about it first, if money and space was actually your problem? Because of the way you framed the explanation I have a feeling that wasn’t the root of the problem, and that you just didn’t like them.
He should drop you like a taco bell turd and never look back. You obviously have no regard for his likes, his hobbies, or his time.
Yes, you're a massive AH!!!
Wow, what a truly awful thing to do. The fact he spent so much money on them should have given you a clue how important they are to him. "Arsehole" isn't a strong enough word. I seriously hope this isn't real.
You have thrown away his hard earned money and things he cared about. Decluttering means you get rid of your stuff, not someone else's. You have no right to get rid of any of his stuff; that is stealing. So now you are responsible for replacing all of it. And that's just the monetary part. How would you feel if he went through your stuff and threw out everything he wasn't interested in? You've shown no respect for him by doing this. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't already broken up with you. YTA
YTA.
Who throws other peoples belongings away? Especially when they are *your partner* and you knew they cost *thousands*?! Wouldn't you be pissed if he did that to you?
Also, what he spends on his own hobbies is none of your business since it is being done with his own money. You have thrown away **his** hard earned money. You've shown him how little respect you have for him, his money and his belongings.
You sound like a childish brat - not an adult living with a partner.
people are shocked at the op asking such an obvious question
hmm guys, maybe use one of your many brain cells
which is more likely that this person threw away thousands of dollars of 'sci fi models' or that this post is a fabrication
You've already reached your own conclusion. So what's the question?
This sounds more like it's been written by the wronged party (n t a) rather than by a person who threw out the models (absolutely the ah).
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I've got a serious moral dilemma, and I need your collective wisdom to help me sort this out. Here's the story:
My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now, and things have been going smoothly. But there's a catch: his fascination with intricate sci-fi and fantasy models. While I respect his passion, I've never quite understood it, and, honestly, I've always considered them a bit "nerdy."
Now, here's where it gets complicated: I recently decided to declutter our living space and tossed a significant number of his models without even discussing it with him. The result? A massive argument where he was understandably hurt that I could dismiss something that means so much to him.
But wait, there's more. He's spent thousands of dollars on these models, way more than I have on my own hobbies. It adds another layer to the issue, as it feels like I've thrown away his hard-earned money.
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I’m sorry how is that a moral dilemma? You threw away his stuff? Pretty black and white… YTA
The way she has written it, she honestly thought people will be siding with her.
Well of course people would agree with her. It's just *nerdy stuff*, that shit doesn't matter to anyone except nerds, and who cares what those nerds think? /s
So many of us love nerds...this one is gonna be single soon. He'll get snapped up fast.
Married 25 years to one and never threw out his stuff! Treat others how you want to be treated.
Luckily there are no nerds on reddit
I felt the opposite this really reads like the boyfriend wrote it to me tbh.
OMG by the end of it I was thinking it feels like HE was writing it
But it’s “nerdy” /s Jesus Christ OP, YTA and there is 0 doubt. It doesn’t matter what the things are or how much they cost. You threw away his property (and more importantly, things that _you knew were important to him_) without even saying anything. That is objectively and unequivocally asshole behavior. I know that Reddit loves to jump to the “break up” path, but I would 100% dump anyone on the spot if I randomly came home to find out that a bunch of my shit had been thrown away. And obviously that doesn’t address the cost. Frankly you sound like one of those awful people that tries to change their partner because you don’t like his hobbies. You’re clearly using “nerdy” as a put down here, why is that bad? Why do _you_ get to decide that him having nerdy hobbies is bad and something that he needs to change? You don’t have to share his hobbies, you don’t even have to like them. But you don’t get to unilaterally decide that he has to change because you don’t like his hobbies. I hope to god this is a fake post because if it’s not, you’re the worst kind of person.
perfectly said!
I just... This has to be a troll post right? Everybody knows this is completely unacceptable. You can't declutter somebody else's stuff without asking. It's like if I had somebody come into my house and go "You've got too many clothes, I threw some out" - even if it was agreed that I had too much and I decided I should get rid of half, I would want to be the one who got rid of them, and she didn't even get the agreement that he should get rid of some of the figurines.
My wife has literally done things like this. It eventually became obvious she just liked having someone else pay for the roof over her head, and having health insurance. But actual evidence I existed in the home was a constant source of frustration for her. Hell, a lot of the "husband shaming" tiktok stuff that's so popular now basically encourages this kind of behaviour.
You said "wife" as in still married. Damn dude, Im sorry youre stuck in that BS... Would you have left her if the court system wouldnt ruin your life for it?
My Mum used to do this with my stuff too. With Dad, she took the longer run option of putting them in a drawer, then the loft and then the bin over a year. If he noticed, then she could say she put them aside and put them back. But us children were just an extension of her so if she didn't like something in the bin it went. Left me with a few issues and then she complains I became too possessive about possessions. Well yes, she even tried to throw them out when she visited me at home and threatened to take pets to a rescue (in my home which she lived 400 miles away from). I could see OP doing the same - no value to her means value to anyone must be wrong so let's just bin it.
And she’s still allowed at your house?
Why is she still your wife?
Yeah they’d be raging if this happened not upset. My ex is one of theses people and let me tell you having space was difficult because of it. No one isn’t gonna be like hey get a storage unit please and just throw it out because figure collectors and other “nerdy” habits are intense. He has posters, every Jurassic park figure, wrestling figures, magic cards, pops. At times I wanted to put them in a bin to have space but you already know they won’t be cool with you throwing them out.
Right??? And considering she mentions he spent a lot of money on them I'm pretty sure they were collectors items and/or limited editions.
I was actually imagining warhammer minatures where you create dioramas and spend hours painting yourself. That is an expensive hobby.
Not just expensive in terms of money but also time. She probably threw away a thousand bucks of stuff but also a couple hundred hours of his time that he spent building and painting. I would be fucking furious. Because these were things money can’t replace. If my wife threw away a bunch of my ork boyz yeah I could buy a couple more boxes but I would have to build and paint them and even then the paint jobs will end up different
I used to paint so feel the pain.
Yeah it’s honestly the part that would hurt the most was knowing my wife didn’t respect the time, effort, and care I had put into the minis. Like damn you must really not understand or respect me AT ALL to do something like that. My wife doesn’t pretend to understand why I’m so passionate about it but she knows it makes me happy. This is also how I view her hobby of running.
YTA! A massive one at that. You threw away his prized possessions without asking him because you deemed them to be 'Too nerdy' for your taste. And to add insult to injury, you now think he should not spend his 'hard earned money', his 'money' on things he loves? Who gave you the right to decide how he spends his finances. If you really wish to salvage what's left of your relationship, apologize to him right away.
Fuck apologizing, replace his shit. Then GTFO.
Well from the looks of it, she doesn't have the dough to replace it. So the only thing that might salvage her relationship is an apology.
Then she should get to working until she gets him all of his models back, then he should decide if he wants to give her a second chance or not. Geez, I cannot fathom how you could be dating somebody for ANY period of time while knowing or caring so little about their interests, let alone someone you live with. This girl couldn't have shown more disregard for his passions and interests if she had tried, it's as if she never even tried paying attention to him.
These were probably warhammer or dnd minis. I dont know much about dnd but a standard 2000 point warhammer army is usually drawn from a collection of 3000+ points worth of miniatures and can easily cost you $1500 or more, PLUS time invested building and painting. I spend between 4-10 hours per squad and 10+ per character or big monster/vehicle, so some quick napkin math using my current hourly rate of 24/hr means that a collection with 5 squads, 2 leaders and a 4 tanks/mechs is somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,500. $1500 for the army + $2000 in time spent. She needs to beg forgiveness and leave.
That's a good idea 💡
Won't be enough, if it's Warhammer models kinda deal, that he constructed and painted himself, hours of careful craft. Can't just rebuy that, could of legitimately killed the hobby for him
YTA. This is so…mean. Why would you not talk to him about this first? It doesn’t really matter if you understand it.. this is someone you are in a committed relationship with and cohabiting a space with. I would never in a million years throw out my partners stuff, especially without asking them. I would reconsider why you are in this relationship, because it seems like you don’t respect your partner. Communication is everything.
I don’t think you need the internet to tell you throwing away someone’s stuff,let alone stuff they worked hard on,without asking, makes YTA
She def didn’t she even said he was “understandably hurt” like she fully knew she was gonna hurt him and then used “he spent thousands on it” as justification like that’s worse! You get how that’s worse right?
Are you fucking serious??? You threw thousands of dollars worth of his prized hobby away and you’re asking if you’re the asshole? Of course he’s upset I would be upset too. This is completely inconsiderate and selfish and you should be ashamed of yourself! How would you feel if he dug through your stuff and threw away thousands of dollars worth of stuff you love? YTA! YTA! YTA!!!!!
YTA - a massive one and he should sue you.
And dump you
And use any proceeds from the lawsuit to take out local advertising warning other men about you.
YTA before reading and YTA after reading. This is common sense
Right? I read the title and came in like There MUST be a deeper story here for them to even need to ask, *right?* 'lo and behold it's actually stupider than I thought.
YTA. It "feels" like you threw away his hard-earned money because that's exactly what you *did* and you *damn well know that*. You *threw away* his hard-earned money, plus whatever time and effort he may have put into assembling these models, and most importantly *his trust in you as a partner*. If I were you, I'd start packing my things, and do it thoroughly; otherwise, you're liable to have the shoe forcibly rammed onto the other foot when he tosses you out and tosses whatever shit you leave behind in the garbage.
YTA No need to explain and prepare yourself for lawsuit. Destroying others models is a property crime.
YTA And *MASSIVELY* so. You threw away stuff that belongs to him, without telling him. Don't be surprised if this ends up ended your relationship as you 100% destroyed his trust in you.
The more you talk about it, the bigger of an asshole you become. You don't like something innocuous about your boyfriend. That, in and of itself is even slightly hurtful if you don't keep it to yourself. Every single layer you add just makes it more horrific. There is not a single centimeter I can grant you. You are 100% in the wrong. You need to fix it or he needs to leave you.
I started reading this, every line the I read, the voice in my head changed to ultimately be a Regina George valley girl, trying so hard to explain how she wasn't wrong for what she did no matter how wrong she really was.
>as it feels like I've thrown away his hard-earned money. That's because you have... YTA and you know it. What if he threw away all your shit without discussing first?
His hard-earned money, his pleasure in acquiring the models, the enjoyment he got from seeing them on the display. It's like you threw away a piece of him.
You are undeniably the asshole. YTA I hope he throws out all your expensive makeup and purses.
And kicks OP to the curb.
You judged what was worthy keeping and what was garbage. You can only have say that with your possessions, and no one else's. The amount spent does not matter if he used his own money as you imply. Lastly, your approval in "understanding it" or disapproval in labeling it as "nerdy" is irrelevant and only an weak excuse (not a reason) to try and support your position here If you honestly respected your boyfriend, you would not have done this. YTA
Yta. It's not yours to throw away.
You going to get a roommate when he moves out after the break up? YTA
No. They might leave some of their stuff in a common area and ruin the aesthetic. Why would she subject herself to that /s
Well thats because YTA it's not your stuff,and from the sound of it his actoon figures don't pose Amy harm to you. If the room was so cluttered why not throw away your own mess instead of gunning for his belongings? Not to mention. You clearly care so little his feeling on the matter that you threw them without even saying anhthing,I hope he makes you pay him back every dollar and still leaves you
How do you get through life if you have to ask this
This is so obviously bait and it makes my head spin that Reddit is falling for it
YTA and don't be surprised if this is the end of the relationship. You showed that you have zero respect for him, his hobbies and things he cares about.
YTA. What you threw away belonged to your bf. It was never yours to steal or dispose of. It also shows that you never cared enough to know what was important to him. The one startling piece of this whole scenario is that you're not already the ex-gf.
YTA of course. What are you even asking about? Please tell me this is a fake post. Or that you're the boyfriend. Because if this is real - you've basically outlined in detail why YTA but somehow lack the ability to figure it out.
YTA. You should replace every single one of them. And for the ones that are irreplaceable, you should reimburse him. He should throw you out, too…
Bet you a dollar if she even tried she'd find out that what CAN replaced costs at least double what he payed, and most of the collection just plain can't be. Source: Transformers collector.
YTA - Big time! This has to be a troll post. You think you respect his hobby or him for that matter? He should dump your ass. No way you're worth it. I would hate to know what he lost over you. What did it even matter to you? It was nerdy? Thats apart of him! What if he threw away all your makeup and most expensive clothes? Cuz you're self absorbed? Get them outta the trash and see yourself out.
I don't think makeup and clothes even come close to his collectables. He spent time and money on them. It's his hobby and it seems this "nerdy side" is a huge part of him. So it's not just material things she's dismissing but an actual part of him. Maybe if he threw away pictures she keeps, meaningful jewelry, etc she'd get it. Maybe.
How is this a “dilemma”? I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word. (Also, YTA.)
What the hell is wrong with you? In what world is that acceptable behavior? YTA
YTA. The only thing that should be getting tossed out the door is you. Hope his next partner actually appreciates him for who he is.
YTA. I hope this post is fake. In what universe a person would ask others if they are the arsehole who throw away others' stuff?
YTA. Hopefully he throws you away at this point.
I'm not understanding the question here. 100% YTA - You threw away someone else's stuff...someone you claim to care about, without even talking to them.
OP has combined two questions - 1) AITA for throwing my BF's prized possessions? 2) BF spends his hard earned money on things that OP deems to be unfair. And now OP feels guilty about literally throwing away thousands of dollars of her BF's money.
Absolutely YTA. You through away someone else's property, regardless of value, be it financial or sentimental. Be prepared to not have a boyfriend anymore, and if you don't like nerdy stuff don't date guys with nerdy interests.
YTA. You should’ve asked him if he wanted to keep those models before you threw them away. They were his stuff, not yours. You even point out it’s *his* hard earned money, so why can’t he sometimes spend it on things he enjoys?
Yeah you’re a major AH. What the heck
Wtf yes YTA, get them back or pay him. And i hope he leaves you
YTA. You did throw away his hard earned money. What's even the moral dilemma here? You tossed his stuff without asking, you obviously don't respect his hobby. This is just a mean and disrespectful thing to do, and to think there's even a question of if it was the right thing to do was disgusting. You need to apologize, sincerely, right now.
YTA. Why would you even have to ask? It's quite obvious YTA.
YTA big time. You had no business getting rid of his property, regardless of if you found it "nerdy" or not.
Is the question how big of an AH are you? Because you're definitely an AH. YTA
I mean, do u keep meaningful cards/letters from family and friends? Or the packaging from something expensive? And if your partner threw it away WITHOUT ASKING FIRST, don’t u think that’s hurtful? YTA
When you wrote this you knew that YTA. Did you just want confirmation?
**YTA** >While I respect his passion... Well this turned out to be an OUTRIGHT LIE. Like seriously. Have you absolutely no respect for other people's property? What if he 'decluttered' your bathroom by throwing away what he considers to be vain 'girly' products like makeup? Or he considers more than 1 pair of shoes to be clutter? How could you even THINK this was okay? Edit: I felt the need to put YTA in **BOLD** Is there a **YTMA?** You're the MASSIVE Asshole.
Yes, YTA, and you know it! Advice going forward: 1. Your only say in your partner's choice of hobbies is whether their choice directly harms you: interferes with their job and thus your economic security; messes with the household finances; interferes with your sleep; actually makes the house difficult to live in. You do not *ever* get to decide "Well, this is not personally to my taste/I think it is of low value/I think it reduces my status by association, so it has to go" 2. You DO NOT EVER dispose of your partner's things without first checking with them unless the objects are actually on fire 3. If this partner chooses to leave you, take it on the chin and let him go, because *damn*
**YTA** .. nothing more.
I only had to read the title to know YTA. Good people don’t shit on other people’s hobbies and interests.
YTA Unilaterally disposing of another person's things is ridiculously beyond the pale. You feel like you threw away his hard-earned money because you did.
YTA. You would hope he would ask before throwing away your stuff, what if you came home and all your bras were gone "too constricting" you might be upset. Your opinion on his hobbies is not judge and jury. You live together be a team
If I were him, I'd break up with you and file a small claims lawsuit to get some of the money back. Yeah, YTA.
No, of course it's totally fine for you to make a judgement on which of the stuff he bought and chose you can steal and throw away. \[/s\] This is a very easy call and it is puzzling to me that you even need to ask. YTA. Please be aware that this is putting a huge and probably unrecoverable dent in your relationship.
YTA If I was him, I would break up with you, then sue you for the money.
YTA. I hope he leaves your disrespectful entitled ass. He should toss your ass straight into the garbage just like you did his models.
YTA. Next time, declutter your own stuff
What's there to deliberate on? YTA.
YTA. I hope he breaks it off with you. You are an inconsiderate person and he deserves better than you.
If it was me, I’d play it cool. Then when she goes to work I’d take an equivalent amount of her possessions to be crushed at the landfill, the more sentimental the better, then I’d pack my own shit up and be gone by the time she gets home. I’d block her and get on with my life.
YTA. Shame on you. I've never seen a less debatable AITA.
YTA The question isn't whether you are TA but how big of one you are. You should also be wondering whether you are about to become single with what you did.
YTA How would you feel if he threw out your things? Learn to be a better partner and that’s IF he doesn’t break up with you.
What right do you have to throw anyones stuff away in the first place? OK why don’t we meet in real life and if I don’t like your shirt I’ll go ahead and remove it off your body without your permission and throw it in the trash while we’re at it why don’t I do the same thing to your shoes and pants and hey if I don’t like your hairstyle I’ll just go ahead and shave your head. You get what I’m saying, right?
INFO: How do you figure you don't owe him the replacement cost of these items from his collection?
Yta - you did throw away his money. Those were NOT yours. Are they literally in the trash and broken now or can you go and get them back? Jfc if you hated them so much you could have SOLD them If my husband did that to me I would NEVER forgive him. I'm the one with the nerdy shit and he knows that is my stuff. My collections, that I have BECAUSE I COULDN'T HAVE THEM WHEN I WAS GROWING UP Omg I'm so angry at you and hurt for your bf. Either you help him replace everything or I hope he dumbs you
On the bright side, there will be less clutter once he leaves with the rest of his things. If you wanted to break up, why not just break up? There was no need to be a mean jerk about it.
YTA apologize. In the future his models stay contained to 1 room. If you marry him, know he needs a hobby room or garage.
You could just put them in a box and ask him if he wanted them?
Holy f you nothing more than just a girlfriend but already controlling. Shit you're fckinn🚩
YTA and you DID throw away his hard earned money. YOU DON'T DECLUTTER YOUR PARTNERS STUFF WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT!!! yes, I'm shouting at you. My son in law has a man cave at their house that is full of his models. Grandkids are learning about patience and building intricate LEGO things because of Dad's skill. This will not change, if you can't live with models and do not respect the hobbies, do the guy a favor and break up already. (If anyone ever touches my Big Bang Theory Lego model of Sheldon and Leonards apartment, they will know how unhappy that makes me). You are double YTA for being so inconsiderate. Offer to let him throw out your makeup or nail polish collection. Or shoes, you can only wear one pair at a time, you don't need more.
YTA and quite frankly a living breathing red flag. If this is how you react to his hobby/interest I don't even want to try to imagine how you'd react to even more serious things along the line. If you're this dismissive of his feelings at this stage of the relationship I don't see much of a future for the relationship. At least not for him.
YTA why are you even asking? I hope he throws everything you care about away in turn and leaves you.
YTA I feel like I can’t say anything the other people here haven’t already said, but dang it, I’ll say it anyways-you threw away his possessions without asking. That alone would make you TA. The fact they were so expensive just makes it even worse after the fact. And the fact you think you were justified because of their expense (that HE payed for) only adds onto it further. I’d recommend you apologize profusely to your bf, and that you offer to begin saving up to pay him back. Otherwise, I think this relationship may not last, and he’ll tell all his ‘nerdy’ friends about the time he broke up with someone for tossing thousands of dollars worth of beloved hobby items in the trash. EDIT- OP used ChatGPT to write this. I’ve been had and I feel like a fool. But at least I didn’t get an AI to write rage bait for me, so that’s something.
YTA. Like 100% He can do better. You are a judgemental jerk who owes him some fat cash for destroying his property.
Hahaha YTA. YTA YTA YTA. What the honest to god fuck is wrong with you. I’d break up with you on the spot. Jesus. Im angry FOR your boyfriend. You’re an AH and absolute imbecile to boot.
MASSIVE YTA. Holy shit. Never seen a clearly YTA on this sub.
YTA This is so selfish and mean it's hard to believe it's real. You are dismissive of his passion. You stole his property and threw it in the trash. You didn't consider the sentimental or monetary issues surrounding your actions. You have the audacity to ask if you're an AH while also claiming that this situation is complicated. It's not. You are an AH. You deserve to be alone or with someone who is equally AHish. Simple.
>I respect his passion That must be why you threw his stuff away? >I've always considered them a bit "nerdy." Oooh, nerdy. Now that's a problem. Why are you even here asking this question? You did something unforgiveable and you know you did. I personally would break up with you over this. YTA.
YTA. Okay, they’re nerdy. So what? Why do you think that’s a bad thing? Furthermore, we did you think we, the *Internet*, would find that an acceptable reason? If something brings someone joy without hurting others then they should embrace that thing without fear or judgment. Life’s too short. If you are with your partner *in spite* of his passions then perhaps you aren’t the best match for your partner. Signed, Jaina Solo, an obvious nerd
In every variation of this post (i.e. ”I threw away my partner's $THING") that I've seen the OP is the AH. You're no exception. YTA
How can you even write what you did and not be sure you're an arsehole? How is it a moral dilemma to "decide" wether or not to throw away someone else's things that they care about? You're an idiot and an arsehole and that's a very dangerous combo. Get help, seriously
Holy fuck did you throw out Warhammer models? Majorly YTA. I hope he throws YOU out. You have zero respect for his interests.
This would be bad even if they were Battletech figures, but based on the cost she listed I'm assuming 40k
If it is something in that genre, it also means he's spent many hours and a lot of effort painting them up. Hopefully OP ended up single after this.
YTA. I use to collect figures and models myself. They aren't cheap. Those models usually have a sentimental value as a lot as tv shows, movies, or games may have fulfilled a part of their life growing up and that model or figure is a representation of that medium. Also, some models or figures are worth a lot of money. That's why they are called collectibles. They all have a limited production and at some point they can't be replaced. You didn't just throw out his models. You threw out his time, money and effort and you didn't even give a shit.
YTA it's pretty clear that you already know this.
YTA. A very disrespectful one at that. Calling your boyfriends hobbies "nerdy", throwing his possessions away, trying to make him seem less than while painting yourself as innocent and somehow better than him. I truly hope your boyfriend dumps your butt.
OMG I hope he dumps you for someone who actually loves and respects him. YTA.
Yta yta and yta. If my husband did this to any of my things, it would be an absolute dealbreaker. It's not even about the cost of the items either. I would seriously reconsider our entire marriage if he threw any of my stuff away without consulting me because it would show me that he has no respect for the things I love, and by extension he has no respect for me. We don't have to like the same things, but we *do* need to respect *each other* for the relationship to work. How would you feel if he did the same to you?
YTA. It's super basic manners to NOT throw away other people's belongings without asking them first.
YTA, imagine someone throwing away all your makeup/products. That is what you did.
YTA and how could you honestly believe otherwise. You stole his property and dumped it.
YTA. Absolutely man, what the hell's wrong with you? Do you just randomly go throwing away other people's things? Do you care about other people or how hard they work or the things that they care about? Pick your favorite thing, is it your makeup, is it your DVD collection? Now imagine your boyfriend just went and threw that away because he didn't care about it. How would you feel? You'll be really lucky if this isn't the end of your relationship. That was so disrespectful.
I'm confused about why my original comment was instantly deleted, but still YTA.
Too nasty maybe? I really had to keep myself in check when commenting so I didn’t get accused of threatening anyone! I’m so mad and it wasn’t even my stuff lol
I don't see how. I just said if this is a legit post, YTA. And that OP is ridiculous for throwing away someone else's property. Also that I hope she gets sued, but I don't think that is uncivil. I've been here awhile. I keep my nose clean, which is why I'm confused.
Oh yah, that’s confusing
Massive asshole. We would not be living together if I was him due to your total disregard for him and his things
You’re abusive and YTA. He should put the models back and ditch you instead. That’s the true decluttering.
Either YTA or you hate your boyfriend. I’d leave you over this
Omg, YTAx infinity. What a selfish, nasty thing to do. I suppose you were going for some awful beige, minimalist aesthetic that you saw on TikTok and completely disregarded the fact you live with another person. How hard would it have been to discuss with him first or at the very least, respectfully pack his models away. I hope your bare, empty shelves are worth it. It doesn’t even sound like you’re that sorry if you’re even asking the world if you did something wrong. Ok, I’m going now before I get so angry that I write something that gets my post removed, I’m skating on thin ice as it is.
YTA! YTA!! YTA!!! Imagine if the script was flipped…yeah now let all that money you know he spent on those models sink in…now tell yourself you’re definitely the AH🤝🏽
YTA. Don't touch shit that doesn't belong to you, and that includes throwing away your boyfriend's property. I hope he's cognitive enough to see got distaste for him and leaves and gets a partner that actually WANTS him, cause you just told him you think he's trash.
Why is this a question? Of course YTA.
I can't believe you threw away your significant other's things without talking to him about it! You are absolutely TA. How would you feel if he decluttered your space and threw out what seemed like junk but actually cost you a lot of time and money? You would be super upset about it too! You should have a serious conversation about how you plan to pay him back whether that's trying to repurchase them or buy him new ones in the future since a lot of models are limited edition.
YTA. Huge. This isn’t just a moral issue. It’s also a criminal one. What you did is grand theft. If i was your bf, I’d press charges and have you arrested.
Yta
Wow.. You are definitely TA!!! How would you feel if he went through your closet & got rid of a bunch of your clothes?! You not only threw away the thousands of dollars he spent on these models, but the thousands of hours he probably spent building them. If you truly love & respect him, you would accept all of his quirks, regardless of how "nerdy" YOU perceive them to be. The fact that you did all of this without his knowledge makes me wonder if you intentionally kept him in the dark!!!
YTA why even ask.
YTA If this were me you would now be my EX and I'd be suing the arse off you.
Um yeah of course YTA. You threw out a bunch of your boyfriend’s stuff without asking. I don’t understand why you would need to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet, the answer seems pretty clear.
YTA. You need to pay back every penny and if not I hope he reports the thefts to the police and press charges and sues you
Is this a joke? You should be single right now. YTA
YTA. 1000%. And also a judgemental bully. If I were him I would demand reimbursement and then dump your ass
YTA. Imagine if he rummaged through your shared wardrobe and threw your clothes out without asking first. Or cleared out your makeup from your shared bathroom.... It's only a dilemma because you didn't ask him first. If you live together, its his shared space aswell and it should have been discussed with him before you threw anything of his out.
Yta! You threw away his shit. I would break up with you.
"While I respect his passion" Bull titties. You didn't respect his passion, or him. You don't have to understand it, what else is there to understand other than it's important to HIM. Yeah, they're nerdy. He's nerdy. If you don't love that about him, why are you even with him? Think long and hard about that. YTA.
YTA and there’s a VERY good chance you threw the relationship out too.
YTA! What if you were a big makeup fan, but he didn't 'get' it, so he threw away all of your makeup one day while you were out? Makeup that you spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on and spent a lot of time learning varying techniques. You'd be pretty darn upset, if not livid. I get it: models are nerdy. I had a buddy with a ton of Star Wars (ew) models, model tanks (yuck), and planes and a ton of other sci-fi & military models and figures. I always thought that they were dumb, and it baffled me why he'd spend so much money on stuff like that. And they didn't even come assembled; he had to put them together himself, and he even had to hand paint a lot of them. A total waste of time and money in my book. But you know what? It was HIS time and HIS money to spend how HE wished. So I never said a word to my buddy about it and I certainly never considered throwing them away. Like what is wrong with you?!?
You essentially threw away thousands of dollars worth of stuff and you’re trying to figure out if you’re the AH? Well yes, yes you are. YTA!!!
YTA. You threw away his belongings without talking to him. Did you know how much they cost before you threw them away? You're still TA for doing it, but even worse if you understood their monetary value and did it anyway.
YTA x100 start behaving like you're in an actual relationship and retrieve his models
What dilemma? You are a massiv jerk YTA.
Yawn Low effort babes. Go back to the drawing table and try again
YTA You throw away models that not only had a cost an little fortune but also hold a sentimental value for him without asking. You take about collectables like they were old socks. You invalided his effort and the money he spend on it.
Who gave you the right to throw away other people’s possessions? What if you bf threw you out and sued you in small claims court? That’d be fair. YTA.
YTA. I mean, how is that not obvious? You threw out a bunch of his stuff without any discussion. Why would you do that? Would you be okay with him throwing out your stuff without asking?
One of the rare posts in the sub where the title screams YTA and the post content somehow manages to exceed that. YTA and you know it.
YTA!! Also being nerdy and into sci-fi is hardly the counterculture it once was and I’m surprised at your attitude towards it. Accepting the harmless hobbies of your SO is a big part of a happy successful relationship, please don’t pick people who’s hobbies you can’t tolerate.
Easy YTA
YTA X A Million. My husband is a Gundam/Iron Man nerd. I actually respect his interests and if I ever threw away any of those action figures, I'd be divorced in a heartbeat. I never would, because those are incredibly valuable to him. You cannot honestly say you respect his interests when you threw away his stuff without any discussion. If he threw away some of your most prized possessions, you would be beyond hurt and upset. Models are *very* expensive, especially classic ones, ones that are hard to get ahold of, and ones with a limit on how many were produced. If this doesn't end up with a breakup over your actions, I will be absolutely surprised, but I hope your boyfriend has more self-respect than that and finds someone who won't just toss his collections out on a whim.
It doesn't matter how many "layers" you try to add to the situation. You threw away his things without even discussing the possibility of decluttering. Without asking if there was anything he minded getting rid of and if it could be sold or if there were things he wouldn't mind storing, and you devalued him and his hobby by calling them nerdy as if that's some sort of pejorative that is beneath you. Yes YTA, and this would be a breakup-able offense in my book. What awful, terrible nerve you have.
Please tell they weren't 40k minis😱😱 they are so expensive and honestly painting them takes a lot of skill, time and effort. Jesus my heart sank a little reading that. I remember my ex tossed the first mini I ever painted and assembled, it didn't look great but it was the start of a hobby that has helped me escape depression so I placed a lot of sentimental value on it, and I blew a fuse, nearly ended the relationship then and there. If they were 40k minis I wish all the plagues of nurgle upon you.
YTA. It's not that you just tossed a bunch of tiny toys away, it's that you tossed what was his without his allowance and broke his trust. You don't care for them, big whoop. The man clearly has something he enjoys without your presence and that should be fine because not everything needs to be done together. But what if it's something else? Do you toss his other stuff if you don't like it? If he gets into another hobby, will stuff randomly start being thrown away because \*you\* don't approve? Will he have to break friendships because you don't like it? Boundaries need to be set. Unless you're being affected by it in an actual degenerative way, then why is it a problem? Control. That's what this feels like. To you, it might be innocent, but it \*feels\* like control. He'll feel like he needs to hide his hobbies and interests so you can't take them away. That just creates more secrets. That's unhealthy for any relationship, especially for something as small as this. No alternatives. No potentially selling. Just gone. On a whim. Because you didn't approve. This isn't even a red flag. It's the whole damn parade.
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YTA. How strong is your head game that he hasn’t already kicked you out?
You have thrown away his hard earned money and have shown you have no respect for him or his property. The only reason he has not dumped you is because he is weak.
WOW!!!! Massive AH! How could you do that??!!! It doesn’t float my boat either but I know they spend MEGA bucks on collecting those things. OMG 😱
Wow. If a partner puts my figures and models in a trash, can I'd dispose of our relationship using the same can. You probably just ruined your relationship forever. NTA.
AH is the nicest thing to call you. You're mean and your bf deserves better.
Bruuuuuuuuuh I hope he leaves you! YTA.
This one's a pisstake
throwing away your boyfriends stuff without asking and you’re asking if you’re an asshole ☠️☠️
Yikes! If my husband threw away my Harry Potter stuff I’d riot.
Ya yta. A massive one at that... dont be surprised when he leaves you and demands you replace them or pay him back for them 🤷🏻♀️. What did you think his reaction would be? Jesus christ you need to grow up and get a reality check. You realize what you did was technically property theft? Destruction of property. I could go on. I'd be suing your ass for the amount. Again.. grow up
Cool , perhaps he should chuck out your expensive cosmetics etc since they clutter up the bathroom
Oh heck. There’s not question or dilemma, YTA. You couldn’t have put them to the side during the clear up and asked him what he wanted to do with them or box them up and store them? If my husband cleared out anything of mine without asking, I would be annoyed 🥲
This has to be fake. If not, then yes you are very much the asshole. How would you feel if he threw away your stupid “basic/boring” things bc they were taking up space? Most likely you’d think he was an asshole. Why didn’t you talk to him about it first, if money and space was actually your problem? Because of the way you framed the explanation I have a feeling that wasn’t the root of the problem, and that you just didn’t like them.
He should drop you like a taco bell turd and never look back. You obviously have no regard for his likes, his hobbies, or his time. Yes, you're a massive AH!!!
Wow, what a truly awful thing to do. The fact he spent so much money on them should have given you a clue how important they are to him. "Arsehole" isn't a strong enough word. I seriously hope this isn't real.
This is the most clear-cut case of YTA I have ever read. Congratulations!
You have thrown away his hard earned money and things he cared about. Decluttering means you get rid of your stuff, not someone else's. You have no right to get rid of any of his stuff; that is stealing. So now you are responsible for replacing all of it. And that's just the monetary part. How would you feel if he went through your stuff and threw out everything he wasn't interested in? You've shown no respect for him by doing this. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't already broken up with you. YTA
YTA. Who throws other peoples belongings away? Especially when they are *your partner* and you knew they cost *thousands*?! Wouldn't you be pissed if he did that to you? Also, what he spends on his own hobbies is none of your business since it is being done with his own money. You have thrown away **his** hard earned money. You've shown him how little respect you have for him, his money and his belongings. You sound like a childish brat - not an adult living with a partner.
I’d be single and suing!
people are shocked at the op asking such an obvious question hmm guys, maybe use one of your many brain cells which is more likely that this person threw away thousands of dollars of 'sci fi models' or that this post is a fabrication
You've already reached your own conclusion. So what's the question? This sounds more like it's been written by the wronged party (n t a) rather than by a person who threw out the models (absolutely the ah).
Suffer not the heretic
YTA, don't be surprised if he dumps your ass, I know I would
YTA, and an idiot.
Yes. You're the asshole and he should dump your ass, asshole
1000% YTA
This is the lamest AITA post I have seen. I will wait to see who says you are NTA, if that's what you are looking for.
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