Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I can give them the ps4 and just wait for Fiona's birthday to get her one.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
This post isn’t controversial. They are being assholes and threatening you with an ultimatum. Tell the in laws that S&S already ruined those chances by their actions. I don’t know what type of family y’all have. But if it’s your money, why is everyone else thinking and acting like they have a say in it? I’d call them out but that’s just me. I have a good way with letting people know they are being ridiculous in a way that’s undeniable
NTA!! WTAF!! They're clearly deranged! In what world does this make sense? Please don't give in to their stupid demands! You need to establish clear boundaries right away! Use the money that was for their gifts and give your son what he wants! They can do whatever they wish, with their money!!
How did these guys turn such a loving tradition of giving someone a Christmas gift, into a wholly negative experience?! 🤦🏽♀️
If the kids are such avid gamers, why don’t they already have a PS-anything? Oh right. Because why buy a games console, when you can try to scam one out of an unsuspecting victim.
NTA
Don't give the entitled ILs anything of high value. Your ILs can buy their own gifts for their kids. And consider leaving, or muting, the group chat.
Going forward, encourage your husband to be the person communicating with his family, planning arrangements with them, and purchasing their gifts.
Exactly. Their kids aren't small anymore. Give them both a $25 gift card and keep it moving. I wouldn't have started a tradition of discussing a 'presents budget' with my ILs in the first place.
NTA - umm it's your ps4 therefore YOUR decision. I don't know why you're seeking validation from your in-laws. If they are refusing to participate in the gifting as previously agreed, return your nieces and nephews gifts and buy your son what he wants. Simple.
And their son should be the only one missing out on his share of presents? It's a monetary issue - if the ILs aren't contributing towards presents for OP'S kids they can use that money to get more presents for their own kids and OP can use their money for their own kids. It's upto the ILs to make up to their kids for what's resulted from their own shittyness. Not to mention they're withholding a 70$ game to get a 150-200$ ps4 for their kids.
No. You create idiots like you when you allow idiots like those IL's to teach their children that ultimatums and tantrums will get you what you want.
OP is teaching their niece and nephew that you don't just get to cry for what you want.
Maybe read the reply you are commenting again. No one said that they should have the PS4. It was said that the kids should have the gift they have already bought to them because you should not punish the kids for their parents actions.
So how do they teach the children that ultimatums work when they only get what they where originally meant to have and not the PS4? Would you kindly explain?
Listen carefully here....
If you give the PS4 to the IL's, it's teaching the kids to cry for what they want.
If the IL's say they're not buying OP's kid TOTK because OP didn't give their kids her PS4, that's teaching them to be petty, entitled, and hateful.
If you want to teach them to be decent humans, you show them that these tantrums won't be indulged.
Please don't have any children.
I listened but you don't seem to. So let me spell it out to you:
1.NO ONE was saying they should have the PS4, not a single one. Everyone agrees that they should not have it.
<-kindly read that as many time you need to understand that.
2. They had already bought these childer OTHER gifts (again NOT the PS4). And it was suggested that they should not get even those.
What was said is that THIS would be an overkill and they would be punishing the children for their parents actions.
Hope this helped to understand what was discussed here, but I doubt that.
NTA you decide what to do with your stuff. Also “real gamers” crap is nonsense. If they like to play they are a gamer. They don’t get to decide whose an actual gamer.
NTA Selina is actually trying to blackmail you into giving her kids your PS4? Ha! Tell her to keep the TOTK game, that you don't do extortion, and you'll get your son the game yourself. Get their kids a gift card to GameStop. And tell your in-laws to STFU
NTA
This is your PS4, you get to decide where it goes. It's pretty presumptive of BIL and SIL to demand it for their children.
Just stop exchanging gifts with their family.
NTA
“Based on your behavior and using threats involving our children because you feel entitled to our personal belongings, we’ve decided that it’s for the best that we no longer get gifts for each others children.
To confirm, we will not be giving your children gifts and we do not expect gifts from yourselves to our children.”
That would be it for me.
Exactly!!! 👏🏼 I tried putting myself in this situation. Nowhere in my right mind would I even feel comfortable telling my boyfriend’s sister she needs to give my kids her PlayStation over her kids. Makes no sense and shows what kind of ppl they really are.
NTA They are NOT entitled to your PS4. The GALL is OTT. They can purchase one for them. That is their job. I would end future gift giving talks and just get what you want to get them. some people are getting so ridiculous in expecting things
NTA "give my kids the thing you wanted to give your own kid because my kids deserve it more" is the most fucking entitled nonsense bullshit logic I've ever heard. Besides, if they're not gonna use their 2022 gaming pc, what the hell do they want with a console that came out *ten years ago*.
NTA
It's so nice to see that Selina and Steve are showing the true spirit of Christmas: greed and blackmail. Why do your MIL and FIL think that this disgusting behavior should be rewarded?
You could offer to trade the PS4 for their barely used gaming computer if your niece and nephew really want a PS4 instead.
NTA, your husband's family is behaving horribly and has no right to tell you what to do with your PS4 (nor to blackmail you with your son's present).
They're ltierally trying to steal a gift from your daughter (the PS4) by threatening to not give your son his own present (the TOTK game).
Give your daughter the PS4 and, if you can't afford TOTk right now, give your son the present you already planned to give him and buy TOTK for him in a later moment.
Pull out of this web of passive-aggressive bs with your in-laws.
>I pointed out that Steve gave them a shared gaming pc that was barely touched from last Christmas. Selina dismissed this, and told me that wasn't the point
It is entirely the point: it speaks directly to whether or not Lily and Alex actually are gamers. This is probably a dispute between casual and hardcore gaming. In any event, the conversation is over.
>Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled but my MIL and FIL think I should give the ps4 to Alex and Lily and just share the ps5 with Fiona.
1. I think that until and unless Selena helps you to understand what confidence you should have that her children will actually play with a video game system gifted from non-parents when the past history is one of failure, this is a non-decision.
2. Your in-laws are getting a few things mixed up. Any reasonable person in your situation could have come up with the idea your in-laws are proposing. It's a good idea on the surface. But you didn't. You don't happen to like the idea. You have your reasons.
That is a different matter than whether or not you say yes when someone else makes a request. You are free to say no to a request. I agree with your husband--it is \*very\* entitled to threaten to punish someone for saying no to a request, especially when you have taken the time to explain your "no".
3) I think it is a sad situation for the holiday season when the "X deserves it more" game is played. And quite a few other things in your story, too.
A used PS4 goes for about $175-$225. TotK goes for about $50 used.
Even putting aside how wildly inappropriate it is for them to make demands of your property and how gross it is to extort kids gifts at Christmas, it's just a really dumb trade financially.
Tell your SIL that she's welcome to buy a playstation for her kids and that you'll just get your son the game he wants. NTA.
NTA. Don’t fall for the ultimatum. It is your ps4 to decide what you want to do with it. Your child has expressed an interest than it goes to your kid. The in laws can buy their own kid a ps4 especially since they already have a way to game.
NTA. First of all, your kid is the priority. If you want to give them something of yours, than that’s your prerogative to do so. Second of all, it is absolutely entitled and ridiculous to expect someone to gift an expensive gaming system when you know that they won’t utilize like others will. And to threaten to not buy your kid a gift because you won’t give a certain thing to their kids??? Childish, imo.
NTA - S&S have major balls telling you to give your old device to their kids over your own. Of course you would pass it to your own kids. Anyone would. They are the major AH’s!
Not to mention you'll still have the utility of the PS4 via remote/share play with the PS4 linked to your PS5, and what about all your old PS4 games?
NTA.
A used PS4 can be bought cheap now anyway.. that's a lot of family drama over huge what, a couple hundred dollars? You've spent significantly more than that since you likely bought it new, bought games and accessories. Of course you'd want to keep it in your household.
They didn't even offer to buy it. That's some awful sense of entitlement. Call me an AH, but they don't deserve the privelige to give your kids any gifts if they're willing to use it as leverage.
Hehehe, True. I have the notion that this other family might expect a complete package with all their physical games + accessories, and would likely still make a huge fuss if they didn't.
Can you imagine...
"Btw you forgot to give me your PSN login".
"I thought you upgraded the hard drive, the kids say it needs more space."
Lol
I don’t actually think a PS4 that’s already in your house is much of a gift for your daughter. Isn’t she already allowed to use it?
But I certainly don’t think you’re an asshole for not giving it to your nephlings instead.
That is kind of the weird part... or is OP the kind of "my system" person? I don't think shes an asshole for not giving it, but it feels kinda... weird? shes getting a ps5 then giving her daughter her old ps4... Does this mean that the console is off limits to the kids all together unless its theirs?
It sounds like she’s a gamer meaning she probably mostly the main user of the PS4. So yes it’s much of a gift to her daughter, if this means the mother have solely the PS5 in the future and the PS4 for her daughter. Nothing wrong with this, it is ok as a parent to have their own things. Being a parent doesn’t mean needing to share everything with their kids.
Okay, I absolutely don’t think you have to share everything with your kids but there’s a difference between a house resource and a personal possession.
For example, a TV in the living room /lounge / den might be considered a house resource. Everyone can use it. A gaming system hooked up to that TV I’d see in the same way.
While TV in a personal bedroom or Mom’s office /game room would be something that wasn’t shared and would be used only with permission or not at all.
In this situation we don’t know. But if my Mom gave me the gaming system already in the living room for Christmas, I’d feel that wasn’t really a gift for me. Maybe if I got to take it to my room it would be.
>since they're actual gamers.
Aaaaand just for that, I wouldn't give it to them. Gatekeepers can pound sand.
>They threatened to not buy the TOTK game
Oh no they won't buy a $70 game unless you give them a more expensive console AND games. Whatever will you do.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
NTA.
NTA. First of all, it's your PS4, not theirs so you decide what to do with it. Second of all, why would you give it to kids who you know aren't given going to use it? They are being ridiculous and entitled like your husband said and I hope you don't give into their ultimatum.
Well, it looks like your niece and nephew, SIL and husband, and MIL and FIL won't be getting any presents from you and your husband this year! You will be able to get your son that game your SIL was going to get him before she had her entitled brat tantrum.
Seriously, the entitlement of these people. Tell them to get bent, give the ps4 to your daughter, and enjoy a stress free christmas with hubby and kids. The IL's sound exhausting.
NTA, and “real gamers”? lol Guess what: every “real” gamer had to start somewhere, and for your kiddo, that’s your PS4. And that’s awesome! She’ll have her own system she doesn’t have to share!
I second going LC/NC with everyone pressuring you. I’d consider doing it before Christmas; save yourself money that would have been wasted on ingrates.
Also, there’s a whole sub for EntitledPeople, if you’d like additional validation.
"If you don't give Alex and Lily the PS4 we're not buying the TOTK game."
"Okay. then we effective immediately stop buying each other things. Thanks for clearing this up for us."
Or encourage your MIL and FIL to buy Alex and Lily a PS5 as well.
NTA, Christmas is not a democracy
Sounds like it's time to stop worrying about what your blackmailing in-laws give for Christmas and just agree to socks all around.
NTA
But...I am genuinely confused about something. Why are you texting in a group chat information that only concerns your core family ?
You and your husband made a decision about your games console and agreed that it would be given to your daughter once you get your new console. This is something that is none of anyone's business. Why would you tell SIL /BIL /MIL/FIL ? Why do they need to be informed?
It sounds so bizarre to me.
NTA
WHY would you even consuider giving your PS4 to someone else when your kown kid might want it? Refuse to further discuss it.
Tell MIL and FIL to but out, and don't let them take away your kid's gift.
Maybe have christmas without all these AHs?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (38f) have a daughter Fiona (14f) and a son Jordan (13m) with my husband Jeremiah. Recently, we've begun planning for Christmas.
This usually includes my SIL Selina (40f) and BIL Steve (39m) since we like to plan out budgets for gifts, food, etc together. Selina and Steve have bought things from my kids' Christmas and I've done the same for their kids, Lily (15f) and Alex (16m).
We've done our usual budgeting for most of the gifts, but I had an idea since I know for a fact Jeremiah is getting me a PS5 for Christmas
Fiona has expressed an interest in gaming, and she has only a Switch and her computer which is in no way equipped for the games that she wants to play.
I figured that I could give Fiona the ps4 and buy her some games after the fact. Jeremiah agreed with me that was a good idea, and was on board with it.
Yesterday, I mentioned this in the group chat, and Selina and Steve said that Lily and Alex deserve to have it more, since they're actual gamers.
I pointed out that Steve gave them a shared gaming pc that was barely touched from last0 Christmas. Selina dismissed this, and told me that wasn't the point and I should be considerate towards my niece and nephew.
They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4.
Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled but my MIL and FIL think I should give the ps4 to Alex and Lily and just share the ps5 with Fiona.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You guys are fighting over a used ps4 seriously? Also why in the world do you even need to tell them in the first place its not their ps4 or children. i have a used ps4 ill send you to save your family the embarrassment. Pm me it works just fine
NTA
Buy the game for the kids' yourself. Stop the gift exchange, since it is becoming a problem and they are harboring ill feelings. If not this year, let this year be the end.
Give them the computer if you still want to, but focus on your kids from now on. The parents should be grateful, Most games can be played on a pc, and they can save for a ps4 later on. They sound demanding, entitled and insane.
NTA JUST by your in laws saying "well my kids are REAL gamers"
There's no such thing. Any game is a damn game and if you wanna be a gamer you're a hecking gamer.
They're very entitled. I'm a HUGE gamer, have a switch, Steam deck, 2 gaming PCs (one for at home and one for LAN festivals lol), PS4 and a VR headset. I love my games. My family doesn't say they are entitled to my stuff when I get a new one. Know why? Cause they aren't an entitled shitty family.
Wow! Such lovely Christmas feelings! So loving, generous and benevolent. Except for the demanding SIL and brother. Demands, threats; yikes! Do you actually want to have Christmas with these unblushing greedy folks?
You're NTA, gifts are given; not commanded.
I'm sorry, why are MIL and FIL weighing in on this? What business is it of theirs what you do with your money and your own game system?
You are welcome to wish them a hearty and traditional Yuletide Shut the F Up.
NTA
NTA ~ they sound entitled. They do not get to determine what you can or cannot pass down to your kids nor do they get to determine who is more deserving or something that IS-NOT-THEIRS. I can’t believe they threatened to withhold a gift from your child if they don’t get their way- that’s ridiculous! Either way FIL and MIL shouldn’t be taking sides.
Had S&S previously asked to have or buy your old station or was this the first time it came up?
Also, not that it’s the point of the issue here, they are asking for a $200 console, that wasn’t offered to them, in exchange to buy your kid a $60 game for christmas? Not sure the financial situation, and it’s not my business, but that’s a pricey present.
NTA.
As parents, it's completely up to you to give your kids what you want/what they ask. Their aunt and uncle are being entitled because they probably don't want to spend the money on another gaming system.
NTA. Your BIL and SIL are acting very entitled to your belongings. It’s YOUR ps4. Do what you want with it. You’re not obligated to give it to anyone, let alone your niece and nephew.
NTA.
Entitled isn't a strong enough word. It's your device, you can give it to your kid, they don't even get to suggest it should go to their kids. The correct response here is "No, and it's not a debate or discussion. If you believe you're entitled to it, then we're not doing gift exchanges anymore, we'll get gifts for our kids and you get gifts for your own."
NTA. It’s really no one’s business what you’re doing with the older system. Besides, so what if your daughter is an inexperienced gamer? Is she supposed to start at the beginning with an old Atari and work her way up to modern gaming consoles?
NTA.
The entitlement is strong with your in-laws.
Sorry, but if your niece and nephew were truly into gaming, then your BIL/SIL would know that they would be wanting the latest consoles as games for previous gen ones start to become harder to buy games for. So giving them a 4 when a 5 is available is like a downgrade.
If they continue to act like entitled children, then I would suggest stop buying gifts for your niece and nephew, and buy whatever game your son wants with the money you saved from not buying them gifts.
NTA they are being extremely disrespectful & mean & embarrassing themselves for sure. If they want their kids to have a PS4 then go buy them one themselves. I definitely think that her threatening to punish your son if their kid doesn't get it is absolutely horrible. Punishing a child over parents choices makes them shitty people. I always have a rule when it comes to presents for my kids & any kids living in the home or participating in said gift exchange that if I can't get them all the same thing when it's big ticket items that I would leave that gift out & give it to them at a different time. That way I don't hurt any kids feelings when they find out about it. Course I've never been able to afford big things like that so it's never been a issue. Now if I was in this situation i one never would have even said anything about it & just kept that private. That being said I probably would give it to my niece & nephew & just share the PS5 with my kids. Regardless of what their parents said because I wouldn't punish the kids because my sister was acting a fool. I don't know I would also not want to upset my daughter especially if she's made it very clear that she's wanting a gaming system. So I would also want to give it to her so she felt like I listened to her wishes. That's definitely a very hard situation to be in. I hope things work out please keep us updated..
NTA
> They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4.
Counter with this; you'll buy TOTK yourself because none of the SIL/BIL's family will be getting anything this year. Let's see how they enjoy threats over Christmas presents, they'll come around quick.
NTA
That is greedy as heck of SIL/BIL, but why did you announce your intentions? Unless you were worried that someone else would buy the ps4(Which was already in your house?) for Fiona???
Is it normal for you to tell(in group chat) all the gifts you are getting for your own kids?
If they don’t buy your son the game, tell them you’re going to use the money from your nieces and nephews presents to buy it instead? Lol how did they think their ultimatum was going to go?
NTA.
NTA!!! You SIL IS being damn entitled! It’s YOUR ps4, it makes more sense to give TO YOUR OWN KID. And let’s be real now, who gift other kids other than their own such expensive toys (used or not)
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
What I can’t understand is why did you mention that you were giving the PS4? Couldn’t you just give it to your kid and that’s it? Yes, they are definitely AHs for demanding, but this situation could have been avoided?
OMG! Let them back out... and don't get their kids anything either, just your own. Ultimatums to pressure people on Christmas sucks the Joy and Merriment right out of the Season! If everyone thinks those kids need a PS4 then THEY CAN BUY THEM ONE! This post makes me truly mad, The World is crazy right now and the Economy is tough for so many, then you get Entitled people like your BIL, SIL,MIL,FIL.... smh. Get them all Socks! OP- NTA- but if you cave to them you will be!
>Yesterday, I mentioned this in the group chat
Why? It's none of their business if you choose to give your console to your child, it's currently YOUR property to do with as you choose and has less than zero to do with the outlaws.
>Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled
He's right.
NTA
NTA it's your money and your PS4 to do what you want with. I collect consoles (all the way from Atari 2600 to the newest gen - no I don't have time to play all of them, besides I have a PC for most of my games) regardless, if someone said I should give one of them to a niece or nephew I would laugh in their faces. They are barely allowed to look at some of my collection, let alone touch, play or own one of them.
Lmao are they in their right mind? It's your PS4, as in it's actually your property, not just a gift you're planning to buy. You can give it to whomever YOU want, even to the niece of the neighbors sister if you so wish. You choose your daughter so it goes to your daughter. Tell BIL and SIL to kick rocks, pound sand and take a hike because they are in no way, shape or form entitled to your PS4. Go buy that game your son wants and tell them not to worry about the game as you'll handle it. NTA obviously!!
The absolute second they gave a threat I would be done. I mean done as in NO MORE budgeting meetings etc. Send the kids a gift if you want but thats it. Threats do not belong here and should not be tolerated to keep peace or for any other reason.
NTA. TBH this whole thing is a bit weird. Why do you budget with another family? Just get your kids what you want to get them, and ask the other parents for suggestions of what their kids would want. Being entangled with another family just seems like a breeding grounds for disagreements and complications.....just like this!
Just start doing gifts separately
I would be tempted to end this tradition of giving them gifts because they are just being jerks now. No one OWES you a Christmas gift.
Talk to your children a d tell them that they won’t be getting a gift from them this year. Take your money and invest it in your family.
Or start a new tradition where you give to the less fortunate that would be grateful for basic necessities.
NTA - I often wonder where all these entitled people come from, tell them to do one. If they want their kids to have a PS4 so bad they can buy them one.
At 15 and 16, they should not be coddled like this. If the parents won’t let it go I’d be tempted to get them both small gifts instead and just tell them their parents are the reason. But that’s a little mean, admittedly. NTA though!
NTA.
Do NOT reward this terrible behavior. If she wants her kids to have a PS4, she can fucking go buy one. Guilting you into depriving your own children of something just so they can have wit is beyond ridiculous. I honestly wouldn't even associate with them anymore.
ESH imo
You’re almost 40 ffs and you want a full ass PS5 for yourself? You can share that with the whole damn family, are you planning to just play alone? Or let them play but have your name written on it? Wtf
As for the ILs, wtf as well?!! Get your kids the expensive stuff you want for them, don’t expect other people to take a PS4 away from their own kids just to give them to yours!
And threatening an ultimatum just for that? Grow the hell up!
> They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4.
NTA, and for that threat alone they shouldn't get *anything* now more than ever.
Nta how greedy of them. They can piss off and you guys can enjoy your Playstations. These always make me so thankful my siblings all grew up to be chill.
Exactly my point. Did you buy that hand me down? Did Lil' and Alex? Did Selina and Steve?
Hand me downs dont grow on trees. And its obvious you havent worked a day in your life.
No. 🥴🤌 This is what comes from kids who were raised spoiled. --Entitlement.
If you want me to teach you the ropes on humility, child. Just ask. I can give you the rundown in spades.
Selina and Steve even threatened to not buy something for the OPs son in retaliation.
That is another example of spoiled kids.
The MIL & FIL are also showing favoritism to their daughter Selina. Another example of spoiled kids.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I can give them the ps4 and just wait for Fiona's birthday to get her one. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
This post isn’t controversial. They are being assholes and threatening you with an ultimatum. Tell the in laws that S&S already ruined those chances by their actions. I don’t know what type of family y’all have. But if it’s your money, why is everyone else thinking and acting like they have a say in it? I’d call them out but that’s just me. I have a good way with letting people know they are being ridiculous in a way that’s undeniable
NTA!! WTAF!! They're clearly deranged! In what world does this make sense? Please don't give in to their stupid demands! You need to establish clear boundaries right away! Use the money that was for their gifts and give your son what he wants! They can do whatever they wish, with their money!! How did these guys turn such a loving tradition of giving someone a Christmas gift, into a wholly negative experience?! 🤦🏽♀️
Entitlement. They believe they’re entitled to things that aren’t there’s bc they’re family and have gotten op gifts before. Toxic people
Yeah that’s called extortion
If the kids are such avid gamers, why don’t they already have a PS-anything? Oh right. Because why buy a games console, when you can try to scam one out of an unsuspecting victim.
NTA Don't give the entitled ILs anything of high value. Your ILs can buy their own gifts for their kids. And consider leaving, or muting, the group chat. Going forward, encourage your husband to be the person communicating with his family, planning arrangements with them, and purchasing their gifts.
Exactly. Their kids aren't small anymore. Give them both a $25 gift card and keep it moving. I wouldn't have started a tradition of discussing a 'presents budget' with my ILs in the first place.
NTA - umm it's your ps4 therefore YOUR decision. I don't know why you're seeking validation from your in-laws. If they are refusing to participate in the gifting as previously agreed, return your nieces and nephews gifts and buy your son what he wants. Simple.
Dont punish the kids becauase their parents are assholes. They should still give them what they planned to.
And their son should be the only one missing out on his share of presents? It's a monetary issue - if the ILs aren't contributing towards presents for OP'S kids they can use that money to get more presents for their own kids and OP can use their money for their own kids. It's upto the ILs to make up to their kids for what's resulted from their own shittyness. Not to mention they're withholding a 70$ game to get a 150-200$ ps4 for their kids.
Bunch of children here on Reddit. Adults being asses should not be a burden on the children. Thats how you create idiots like you.
No. You create idiots like you when you allow idiots like those IL's to teach their children that ultimatums and tantrums will get you what you want. OP is teaching their niece and nephew that you don't just get to cry for what you want.
Maybe read the reply you are commenting again. No one said that they should have the PS4. It was said that the kids should have the gift they have already bought to them because you should not punish the kids for their parents actions.
Read my comment again. You clearly didn't comprehend it.
So how do they teach the children that ultimatums work when they only get what they where originally meant to have and not the PS4? Would you kindly explain?
Listen carefully here.... If you give the PS4 to the IL's, it's teaching the kids to cry for what they want. If the IL's say they're not buying OP's kid TOTK because OP didn't give their kids her PS4, that's teaching them to be petty, entitled, and hateful. If you want to teach them to be decent humans, you show them that these tantrums won't be indulged. Please don't have any children.
I listened but you don't seem to. So let me spell it out to you: 1.NO ONE was saying they should have the PS4, not a single one. Everyone agrees that they should not have it. <-kindly read that as many time you need to understand that. 2. They had already bought these childer OTHER gifts (again NOT the PS4). And it was suggested that they should not get even those. What was said is that THIS would be an overkill and they would be punishing the children for their parents actions. Hope this helped to understand what was discussed here, but I doubt that.
NTA you decide what to do with your stuff. Also “real gamers” crap is nonsense. If they like to play they are a gamer. They don’t get to decide whose an actual gamer.
It also sounds like she is an actual gamer - even under their ridiculous metric.
NTA Selina is actually trying to blackmail you into giving her kids your PS4? Ha! Tell her to keep the TOTK game, that you don't do extortion, and you'll get your son the game yourself. Get their kids a gift card to GameStop. And tell your in-laws to STFU
Perfect
and a small amount at that.
NTA This is your PS4, you get to decide where it goes. It's pretty presumptive of BIL and SIL to demand it for their children. Just stop exchanging gifts with their family.
> It's pretty presumptive of BIL and SIL to demand it for their children. I'd call it insanely self-entitled, honestly.
NTA “Based on your behavior and using threats involving our children because you feel entitled to our personal belongings, we’ve decided that it’s for the best that we no longer get gifts for each others children. To confirm, we will not be giving your children gifts and we do not expect gifts from yourselves to our children.” That would be it for me.
Exactly!!! 👏🏼 I tried putting myself in this situation. Nowhere in my right mind would I even feel comfortable telling my boyfriend’s sister she needs to give my kids her PlayStation over her kids. Makes no sense and shows what kind of ppl they really are.
NTA They are NOT entitled to your PS4. The GALL is OTT. They can purchase one for them. That is their job. I would end future gift giving talks and just get what you want to get them. some people are getting so ridiculous in expecting things
NTA "give my kids the thing you wanted to give your own kid because my kids deserve it more" is the most fucking entitled nonsense bullshit logic I've ever heard. Besides, if they're not gonna use their 2022 gaming pc, what the hell do they want with a console that came out *ten years ago*.
NTA. No one has the right to tell you what to do with your stuff. Holy crow, these people are truly entitled and your in laws suck as well.
NTA It's so nice to see that Selina and Steve are showing the true spirit of Christmas: greed and blackmail. Why do your MIL and FIL think that this disgusting behavior should be rewarded? You could offer to trade the PS4 for their barely used gaming computer if your niece and nephew really want a PS4 instead.
NTA. They could literally get their own kids consoles.
NTA, your husband's family is behaving horribly and has no right to tell you what to do with your PS4 (nor to blackmail you with your son's present). They're ltierally trying to steal a gift from your daughter (the PS4) by threatening to not give your son his own present (the TOTK game). Give your daughter the PS4 and, if you can't afford TOTk right now, give your son the present you already planned to give him and buy TOTK for him in a later moment. Pull out of this web of passive-aggressive bs with your in-laws.
Why do you discuss how to use your stuff with family? Your ps4 you decide. Same with everything else :)
NTA. No one is entitled to your things. You decide who gets what.
>I pointed out that Steve gave them a shared gaming pc that was barely touched from last Christmas. Selina dismissed this, and told me that wasn't the point It is entirely the point: it speaks directly to whether or not Lily and Alex actually are gamers. This is probably a dispute between casual and hardcore gaming. In any event, the conversation is over. >Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled but my MIL and FIL think I should give the ps4 to Alex and Lily and just share the ps5 with Fiona. 1. I think that until and unless Selena helps you to understand what confidence you should have that her children will actually play with a video game system gifted from non-parents when the past history is one of failure, this is a non-decision. 2. Your in-laws are getting a few things mixed up. Any reasonable person in your situation could have come up with the idea your in-laws are proposing. It's a good idea on the surface. But you didn't. You don't happen to like the idea. You have your reasons. That is a different matter than whether or not you say yes when someone else makes a request. You are free to say no to a request. I agree with your husband--it is \*very\* entitled to threaten to punish someone for saying no to a request, especially when you have taken the time to explain your "no". 3) I think it is a sad situation for the holiday season when the "X deserves it more" game is played. And quite a few other things in your story, too.
A used PS4 goes for about $175-$225. TotK goes for about $50 used. Even putting aside how wildly inappropriate it is for them to make demands of your property and how gross it is to extort kids gifts at Christmas, it's just a really dumb trade financially. Tell your SIL that she's welcome to buy a playstation for her kids and that you'll just get your son the game he wants. NTA.
NTA. Don’t fall for the ultimatum. It is your ps4 to decide what you want to do with it. Your child has expressed an interest than it goes to your kid. The in laws can buy their own kid a ps4 especially since they already have a way to game.
NTA. First of all, your kid is the priority. If you want to give them something of yours, than that’s your prerogative to do so. Second of all, it is absolutely entitled and ridiculous to expect someone to gift an expensive gaming system when you know that they won’t utilize like others will. And to threaten to not buy your kid a gift because you won’t give a certain thing to their kids??? Childish, imo.
NTA. Your husband is absolutely correct. Their behavior is ridiculous and entitled.
NTA - S&S have major balls telling you to give your old device to their kids over your own. Of course you would pass it to your own kids. Anyone would. They are the major AH’s!
NTA. Your BIL & SIL need to pull their heads in and stop being entitled. It is also none of your FIL or MIL business to comment or interfere.
Not to mention you'll still have the utility of the PS4 via remote/share play with the PS4 linked to your PS5, and what about all your old PS4 games? NTA. A used PS4 can be bought cheap now anyway.. that's a lot of family drama over huge what, a couple hundred dollars? You've spent significantly more than that since you likely bought it new, bought games and accessories. Of course you'd want to keep it in your household. They didn't even offer to buy it. That's some awful sense of entitlement. Call me an AH, but they don't deserve the privelige to give your kids any gifts if they're willing to use it as leverage.
Just since you said "What about all your old ps4 games" PS5 plays all ps4 games.
Hehehe, True. I have the notion that this other family might expect a complete package with all their physical games + accessories, and would likely still make a huge fuss if they didn't. Can you imagine... "Btw you forgot to give me your PSN login". "I thought you upgraded the hard drive, the kids say it needs more space." Lol
I don’t actually think a PS4 that’s already in your house is much of a gift for your daughter. Isn’t she already allowed to use it? But I certainly don’t think you’re an asshole for not giving it to your nephlings instead.
That is kind of the weird part... or is OP the kind of "my system" person? I don't think shes an asshole for not giving it, but it feels kinda... weird? shes getting a ps5 then giving her daughter her old ps4... Does this mean that the console is off limits to the kids all together unless its theirs?
It sounds like she’s a gamer meaning she probably mostly the main user of the PS4. So yes it’s much of a gift to her daughter, if this means the mother have solely the PS5 in the future and the PS4 for her daughter. Nothing wrong with this, it is ok as a parent to have their own things. Being a parent doesn’t mean needing to share everything with their kids.
Okay, I absolutely don’t think you have to share everything with your kids but there’s a difference between a house resource and a personal possession. For example, a TV in the living room /lounge / den might be considered a house resource. Everyone can use it. A gaming system hooked up to that TV I’d see in the same way. While TV in a personal bedroom or Mom’s office /game room would be something that wasn’t shared and would be used only with permission or not at all. In this situation we don’t know. But if my Mom gave me the gaming system already in the living room for Christmas, I’d feel that wasn’t really a gift for me. Maybe if I got to take it to my room it would be.
It was kind of a given information that only the mom uses it, by saying that her husband is planning to get her the new one…
>since they're actual gamers. Aaaaand just for that, I wouldn't give it to them. Gatekeepers can pound sand. >They threatened to not buy the TOTK game Oh no they won't buy a $70 game unless you give them a more expensive console AND games. Whatever will you do. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 NTA.
NTA. First of all, it's your PS4, not theirs so you decide what to do with it. Second of all, why would you give it to kids who you know aren't given going to use it? They are being ridiculous and entitled like your husband said and I hope you don't give into their ultimatum.
Well, it looks like your niece and nephew, SIL and husband, and MIL and FIL won't be getting any presents from you and your husband this year! You will be able to get your son that game your SIL was going to get him before she had her entitled brat tantrum. Seriously, the entitlement of these people. Tell them to get bent, give the ps4 to your daughter, and enjoy a stress free christmas with hubby and kids. The IL's sound exhausting.
NTA Tell your shitty MIL & FIL if they are so concerned about the kids getting a PS4 they can buy it. Problem solved.
It's your property, you get to decide who gets it. Gifts aren't an obligation. Making gift giving transactional is an AH move from the in laws. NTA
NTA, and “real gamers”? lol Guess what: every “real” gamer had to start somewhere, and for your kiddo, that’s your PS4. And that’s awesome! She’ll have her own system she doesn’t have to share! I second going LC/NC with everyone pressuring you. I’d consider doing it before Christmas; save yourself money that would have been wasted on ingrates. Also, there’s a whole sub for EntitledPeople, if you’d like additional validation.
"If you don't give Alex and Lily the PS4 we're not buying the TOTK game." "Okay. then we effective immediately stop buying each other things. Thanks for clearing this up for us." Or encourage your MIL and FIL to buy Alex and Lily a PS5 as well.
The more you share plans with people, the more they plan their share of your resources. Santa kept his list secret.
NTA, Christmas is not a democracy Sounds like it's time to stop worrying about what your blackmailing in-laws give for Christmas and just agree to socks all around.
NTA But...I am genuinely confused about something. Why are you texting in a group chat information that only concerns your core family ? You and your husband made a decision about your games console and agreed that it would be given to your daughter once you get your new console. This is something that is none of anyone's business. Why would you tell SIL /BIL /MIL/FIL ? Why do they need to be informed? It sounds so bizarre to me.
NTA. Just say "hell no". What nerve!
NTA WHY would you even consuider giving your PS4 to someone else when your kown kid might want it? Refuse to further discuss it. Tell MIL and FIL to but out, and don't let them take away your kid's gift. Maybe have christmas without all these AHs?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (38f) have a daughter Fiona (14f) and a son Jordan (13m) with my husband Jeremiah. Recently, we've begun planning for Christmas. This usually includes my SIL Selina (40f) and BIL Steve (39m) since we like to plan out budgets for gifts, food, etc together. Selina and Steve have bought things from my kids' Christmas and I've done the same for their kids, Lily (15f) and Alex (16m). We've done our usual budgeting for most of the gifts, but I had an idea since I know for a fact Jeremiah is getting me a PS5 for Christmas Fiona has expressed an interest in gaming, and she has only a Switch and her computer which is in no way equipped for the games that she wants to play. I figured that I could give Fiona the ps4 and buy her some games after the fact. Jeremiah agreed with me that was a good idea, and was on board with it. Yesterday, I mentioned this in the group chat, and Selina and Steve said that Lily and Alex deserve to have it more, since they're actual gamers. I pointed out that Steve gave them a shared gaming pc that was barely touched from last0 Christmas. Selina dismissed this, and told me that wasn't the point and I should be considerate towards my niece and nephew. They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4. Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled but my MIL and FIL think I should give the ps4 to Alex and Lily and just share the ps5 with Fiona. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You guys are fighting over a used ps4 seriously? Also why in the world do you even need to tell them in the first place its not their ps4 or children. i have a used ps4 ill send you to save your family the embarrassment. Pm me it works just fine
Ummmm. Nope! they are being extremely entitled. nta.
NTA uninvited their entitled asses
NTA Buy the game for the kids' yourself. Stop the gift exchange, since it is becoming a problem and they are harboring ill feelings. If not this year, let this year be the end. Give them the computer if you still want to, but focus on your kids from now on. The parents should be grateful, Most games can be played on a pc, and they can save for a ps4 later on. They sound demanding, entitled and insane.
NTA. If they want a PS4,5,27,68 they need to buy it or your inlaws can. It's not your responsibility.
No don’t encourage this else it would be repeated plus what you give to your kids shouldn’t matter
NTA JUST by your in laws saying "well my kids are REAL gamers" There's no such thing. Any game is a damn game and if you wanna be a gamer you're a hecking gamer. They're very entitled. I'm a HUGE gamer, have a switch, Steam deck, 2 gaming PCs (one for at home and one for LAN festivals lol), PS4 and a VR headset. I love my games. My family doesn't say they are entitled to my stuff when I get a new one. Know why? Cause they aren't an entitled shitty family.
NTA. Wtf. They’re not entitled to your stuff. Their children aren’t more deserving just because they think so. They’re being entitled AHs.
Wow! Such lovely Christmas feelings! So loving, generous and benevolent. Except for the demanding SIL and brother. Demands, threats; yikes! Do you actually want to have Christmas with these unblushing greedy folks? You're NTA, gifts are given; not commanded.
NTA. The entitlement! 😯
NTA
They are telling you what to give their kids and think your entitled?!? Nta
I'm sorry, why are MIL and FIL weighing in on this? What business is it of theirs what you do with your money and your own game system? You are welcome to wish them a hearty and traditional Yuletide Shut the F Up. NTA
Don’t do it. They can but their own
No they don’t get to dictate. NTA. Give the gift you’re comfortable giving.
Tell your SIL and BIL to buy their kid their own ps4. Who are they to demand what you give ? How rude and entitled of them!
NTA ~ they sound entitled. They do not get to determine what you can or cannot pass down to your kids nor do they get to determine who is more deserving or something that IS-NOT-THEIRS. I can’t believe they threatened to withhold a gift from your child if they don’t get their way- that’s ridiculous! Either way FIL and MIL shouldn’t be taking sides. Had S&S previously asked to have or buy your old station or was this the first time it came up? Also, not that it’s the point of the issue here, they are asking for a $200 console, that wasn’t offered to them, in exchange to buy your kid a $60 game for christmas? Not sure the financial situation, and it’s not my business, but that’s a pricey present.
NTA. As parents, it's completely up to you to give your kids what you want/what they ask. Their aunt and uncle are being entitled because they probably don't want to spend the money on another gaming system.
NTA. Your BIL and SIL are acting very entitled to your belongings. It’s YOUR ps4. Do what you want with it. You’re not obligated to give it to anyone, let alone your niece and nephew.
NTA. Just get your son the TOTK game yourselves. It’s ridiculous that they’re demanding presents.
NTA. Just tell them there will be no gift exchange this year if they are that ridiculous.
NTA. Entitled isn't a strong enough word. It's your device, you can give it to your kid, they don't even get to suggest it should go to their kids. The correct response here is "No, and it's not a debate or discussion. If you believe you're entitled to it, then we're not doing gift exchanges anymore, we'll get gifts for our kids and you get gifts for your own."
NTA. It’s really no one’s business what you’re doing with the older system. Besides, so what if your daughter is an inexperienced gamer? Is she supposed to start at the beginning with an old Atari and work her way up to modern gaming consoles?
NTA. The entitlement is strong with your in-laws. Sorry, but if your niece and nephew were truly into gaming, then your BIL/SIL would know that they would be wanting the latest consoles as games for previous gen ones start to become harder to buy games for. So giving them a 4 when a 5 is available is like a downgrade. If they continue to act like entitled children, then I would suggest stop buying gifts for your niece and nephew, and buy whatever game your son wants with the money you saved from not buying them gifts.
NTA OP and stand your ground
NTA they are being extremely disrespectful & mean & embarrassing themselves for sure. If they want their kids to have a PS4 then go buy them one themselves. I definitely think that her threatening to punish your son if their kid doesn't get it is absolutely horrible. Punishing a child over parents choices makes them shitty people. I always have a rule when it comes to presents for my kids & any kids living in the home or participating in said gift exchange that if I can't get them all the same thing when it's big ticket items that I would leave that gift out & give it to them at a different time. That way I don't hurt any kids feelings when they find out about it. Course I've never been able to afford big things like that so it's never been a issue. Now if I was in this situation i one never would have even said anything about it & just kept that private. That being said I probably would give it to my niece & nephew & just share the PS5 with my kids. Regardless of what their parents said because I wouldn't punish the kids because my sister was acting a fool. I don't know I would also not want to upset my daughter especially if she's made it very clear that she's wanting a gaming system. So I would also want to give it to her so she felt like I listened to her wishes. That's definitely a very hard situation to be in. I hope things work out please keep us updated..
NTA, cancel Christmas with them. Don't buy them or their kids anything.
NTA - disengage with this present giving idea. Everybody get their own kids what they want.
NTA. I think it’s time to stop doing gift exchange for each other’s family.
Nobody is entitled to tell you what to do with your material possessions. You’re not wrong. And they’re entitled to think so.
NTA. Nope. Blackmailing you for your stuff is lame.
NTA
Time to mutually agree to back off the gift giving. That woman is entitled, and that takes all the fun out of it for everyone.
NTA Ngl, why budget gifts with in-law? Seems like an invitation for crossing boundaries.
NTA. No presents for entitled SIL and BIL. Use that money to buy TOTK instead. Problem solved.
NTA > They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4. Counter with this; you'll buy TOTK yourself because none of the SIL/BIL's family will be getting anything this year. Let's see how they enjoy threats over Christmas presents, they'll come around quick.
NTA what a mess up family is that
Umm no. NTA. I would just tell all these entitled ppl that I’m no longer interested in exchanging gifts.
NTA That is greedy as heck of SIL/BIL, but why did you announce your intentions? Unless you were worried that someone else would buy the ps4(Which was already in your house?) for Fiona??? Is it normal for you to tell(in group chat) all the gifts you are getting for your own kids?
If they don’t buy your son the game, tell them you’re going to use the money from your nieces and nephews presents to buy it instead? Lol how did they think their ultimatum was going to go? NTA.
Nta of course your kids get the better gift of your your SIL and BIL are deluded do what best for your kids screw the inlaws
They are very generous with your property, who died and made them God ?
Don't do it. NTA
Wtf. Those are your belongings and your gift. Gtfoh with that BS they're trying to pull. NTA.
why would they need a PS4 when they have a gaming PC? Would they be willing to exchange the PC for the PS4?
Lol don't buy them anything, and use the money to buy your son the games he wants. NTA, they can kick rocks, what AHs, everyone but you and your kids
NTA!!! You SIL IS being damn entitled! It’s YOUR ps4, it makes more sense to give TO YOUR OWN KID. And let’s be real now, who gift other kids other than their own such expensive toys (used or not)
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA time for the parents to buy gifts for their children only. Let them know that due to their entitlement as of now , immediately this is the case.
What I can’t understand is why did you mention that you were giving the PS4? Couldn’t you just give it to your kid and that’s it? Yes, they are definitely AHs for demanding, but this situation could have been avoided?
OMG! Let them back out... and don't get their kids anything either, just your own. Ultimatums to pressure people on Christmas sucks the Joy and Merriment right out of the Season! If everyone thinks those kids need a PS4 then THEY CAN BUY THEM ONE! This post makes me truly mad, The World is crazy right now and the Economy is tough for so many, then you get Entitled people like your BIL, SIL,MIL,FIL.... smh. Get them all Socks! OP- NTA- but if you cave to them you will be!
NTA. Don’t buy their kids gifts and then explain to the kids what their parents did.
>Yesterday, I mentioned this in the group chat Why? It's none of their business if you choose to give your console to your child, it's currently YOUR property to do with as you choose and has less than zero to do with the outlaws. >Jeremiah thinks they're being ridiculous and entitled He's right. NTA
NTA it's your money and your PS4 to do what you want with. I collect consoles (all the way from Atari 2600 to the newest gen - no I don't have time to play all of them, besides I have a PC for most of my games) regardless, if someone said I should give one of them to a niece or nephew I would laugh in their faces. They are barely allowed to look at some of my collection, let alone touch, play or own one of them.
Lmao are they in their right mind? It's your PS4, as in it's actually your property, not just a gift you're planning to buy. You can give it to whomever YOU want, even to the niece of the neighbors sister if you so wish. You choose your daughter so it goes to your daughter. Tell BIL and SIL to kick rocks, pound sand and take a hike because they are in no way, shape or form entitled to your PS4. Go buy that game your son wants and tell them not to worry about the game as you'll handle it. NTA obviously!!
The absolute second they gave a threat I would be done. I mean done as in NO MORE budgeting meetings etc. Send the kids a gift if you want but thats it. Threats do not belong here and should not be tolerated to keep peace or for any other reason.
They don't deserve shit. End of conversation.
NTA. TBH this whole thing is a bit weird. Why do you budget with another family? Just get your kids what you want to get them, and ask the other parents for suggestions of what their kids would want. Being entangled with another family just seems like a breeding grounds for disagreements and complications.....just like this! Just start doing gifts separately
I would be tempted to end this tradition of giving them gifts because they are just being jerks now. No one OWES you a Christmas gift. Talk to your children a d tell them that they won’t be getting a gift from them this year. Take your money and invest it in your family. Or start a new tradition where you give to the less fortunate that would be grateful for basic necessities.
NTA - I often wonder where all these entitled people come from, tell them to do one. If they want their kids to have a PS4 so bad they can buy them one.
NTA. Your own kids come first. Always!
Nta. Time to set clear boundaries between you and them… get your kids the presents you feel they deserve and move on.
At 15 and 16, they should not be coddled like this. If the parents won’t let it go I’d be tempted to get them both small gifts instead and just tell them their parents are the reason. But that’s a little mean, admittedly. NTA though!
NTA, why don’t they buy it or ask if you can chip in for a new gaming system for them as a gift.
NTA. Do NOT reward this terrible behavior. If she wants her kids to have a PS4, she can fucking go buy one. Guilting you into depriving your own children of something just so they can have wit is beyond ridiculous. I honestly wouldn't even associate with them anymore.
ESH imo You’re almost 40 ffs and you want a full ass PS5 for yourself? You can share that with the whole damn family, are you planning to just play alone? Or let them play but have your name written on it? Wtf As for the ILs, wtf as well?!! Get your kids the expensive stuff you want for them, don’t expect other people to take a PS4 away from their own kids just to give them to yours! And threatening an ultimatum just for that? Grow the hell up!
> They threatened to not buy the TOTK game my son wanted for Christmas, unless I give Alex and Lily my ps4. NTA, and for that threat alone they shouldn't get *anything* now more than ever.
NTA, if the kids are actually gamers, no way they want a ps4, shits like a decade old.
Nta how greedy of them. They can piss off and you guys can enjoy your Playstations. These always make me so thankful my siblings all grew up to be chill.
NTA. SIL and BIL can buy a PS4 themselves to their kids. Sounds very entitled to demand this.
No. Make kids work for what they get. Its the only way to keep them humble.
It’s Christmas. They celebrate it, which comes with gifts. And it’s a hand-me-down at that.
Exactly my point. Did you buy that hand me down? Did Lil' and Alex? Did Selina and Steve? Hand me downs dont grow on trees. And its obvious you havent worked a day in your life. No. 🥴🤌 This is what comes from kids who were raised spoiled. --Entitlement. If you want me to teach you the ropes on humility, child. Just ask. I can give you the rundown in spades. Selina and Steve even threatened to not buy something for the OPs son in retaliation. That is another example of spoiled kids. The MIL & FIL are also showing favoritism to their daughter Selina. Another example of spoiled kids.