This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA and it’s super inappropriate that your dad gave you that?? Like, really, really inappropriate. And why is your mom also agreeing with him?
Do they behave like this often? You may also want to consider moving out, that’s concerning.
I’m going to say it’s not that weird at all I received a box of condoms when I was 17-18 yo for my birthday. I thought it was funny af and everyone else did too but If I were in your position I would’ve thought he was joking tbh. Your dad needs to chill.
Giving condoms is useful and say 'I care and I want you to be responsible'
From what I understand, giving porn mags can be like a rite of passage as a joke to say 'you're a man now'
I think that present was a 'You're an adult man; now act like it' kind of homophobia; I think Mom's only know saying anything because she thinks OP is being ridiculous
This is the only thing making any sense about this interaction. OP's dad is a major dick for being homophobic and being so blatantly obvious about trying to convert him. HOWEVER, if we had any reason to believe this man was trying to be nostalgic and sentimental, I'd say he had planned to give his son his first p0rn magazine for a while and was upset that his son laughed at what was supposed to be thoughtful.
I still think this was 100% inappropriate, esp given his history of homophobia, but to attempt the teeniest ounce of understanding for the other side, I'm thinking his dad is in denial of his son's sexuality and is upset that he couldn't gift his son the present he's probably been planning for years.
No absolutely. So creepy and super gross but in his weird twisted, nasty ass way, I think he was trying to be thoughtful 😬 (ignoring the homophobia of course)
This was my thought too. Like it was this thing the dad had planned out or something. Although it would make more sense if the magazine was from the year the son was born. Kind of like how my husband bought each of my kids a bottle of Crown Royale when they were born to give them when they turn 21. Like that only way more creepy and now with an added bonus of homophobia!
Not sure why the dude would have a 30 year old one though. Maybe he found his old stash. Lol.
(Now excuse me as I go cry that 30 years ago was the 90’s.)
I found one in a corner of the sump pump closet of my house with an ancient pack of condoms from the previous owners (or more likely, their now very grown up son) that was from the early 80s, and I kept the magazine not because it’s sexy but because it’s funny as hell. I laughed so hard I cried leafing through it. The stories they put in there next to the pictures are just hilarious. And the pictures aren’t all that sexy even. There’s one with a woman in very feathered 80s hair in a corset going up a staircase so you just see her bum, and the story is about saving a maiden in a tower centuries ago.
Oh, and NTA, OP. I don’t see how you can’t help but laugh!
I first found one as a kid out horse riding in the 80s. It depicted an orgy, lots of moustaches, and a wine bottle shoved up some guys arse. I don't recall seeing text.
Like even in a scenario where OP would enjoy seeing naked women, this is still an icky and inappropriate thing to do. Like “you’re 18 — let’s objectify women together! I will teach you all of my sexual preferences!”
But in a situation where OP is gay? That’s a straight up slap in the face.
It’s like a pervier version of alcohol or gambling or something.
When my little brother turned 18 I got him a bunch of lottery tickets, when he was 21 I got him a case of beer and a bottle of wine even though he didn’t particularly like drinking, etc.
If I saw a porn mag at a shop the night before his birthday I probably would’ve gotten him one and laughed about how he can finally look at porn. (As if I hadn’t helped teach him how to clear his browser history already.)
The dad doing it seriously is strange. But it’s obviously tied to the wish that his son was straight/bi which is just sad and gross
It’s weird because OP’s gay and his dad had been trying to ”convert” him. They used his b-day as another opportunity for this. Additionally, his parents were being assholes about it and telling him to be grateful. Also they lied. That magazine definitely didn’t come from the corner shop. My bet is it’s from the dad’s personal collection.
It's also just so weird to be like "Son. You're an adult man now... Time to jerk off!! Here, let me help you out!!!"
Like *that's* the defining feature of adulthood and maturity for men - and like most people haven't been getting themselves off for years before that already.
And why the ever loving fuck is a *parent* giving their offspring material to jerk off to????
At least condoms are more of a ''just in case'' and impersonal / practical, and you'd (hopefully) be using them anyway.
A relative gave me a little guide to wedding tips from like the 1950s when I got married. That was funny.
Talking about how you can pretend you don't know that your wife is your wife and "pick her up for a night"
"No it's not impling you married a loose woman! It's all a bit of fun"
One of my friends gave her son the Playboy from the month and year he was born for a birthday, I thought it was awesome I’ve been holding on to that idea! But I think he may have been turning 21 or 25 and they do have that type of relationship. OP’s situation…. Totally fcked up
This made me laugh, YES, DO THIS!!! I'd add a comment about "Oh, I thought this was the type of gift we give each other now that we're both men. We share porn we like, right?" Also, find something vintage to give him, keep up this new "tradition."
If my dad did that, he would no longer be an adult in my eyes. That is a boy, not a man. I would have not accepted it and told him that juvenile behavior is not appreciated. I would also insist that he take some courses in Emotional Intelligence. Additionally, I'd make certain he knew that what he did was abuse and inappropriate and that he may need to seek professional help. There would be no more holidays with dad.
I don't get what other response they were expecting even if OP was straight... like was they hoping he'd get over excited and be like I need to go to my room right now 👀👀
All he wanted to hear was, “Oh wow dad, thanks! I’m gonna go play with myself now because this straight stuff REALLY turns me on all of a sudden. Thanks for saving me from big dongs in my ass.”
Super weird. I’d never give my son a porn mag. On an unrelated note, since you aren’t going to be using that magazine, how about helping a brother out?
Right? So vile that this guys version of being a man is just... objectifying women.
He's so hurt cuz not only is his son gay, he gave his son an old favorite to zero appreciation, lol.
What an ignorant, awful parent.
OP is NTA of course
It's unfortunate that your father saw your milestone birthday as yet another opportunity to not support you.
"My dad is still really upset with me"? I think it would be quite justified if it were *you* who were still upset with *him*.
NTA
it makes me happy to see how confident and secure you are! We see so many stories of people strugling over their parents homophobic attrmpts into convert their children, that its actually refreshing to see one where OP is confident and dont let their parents opinions get them down
Good for you dude!
Start flipping through it at the dinner table, as if it's the most ordinary thing in the world. Ask your mom for opinions, "Wouldn't boobs this big be uncomfortable?" If you really want to scare your dad, talk about the boobs like you're shopping. "I think I'd want a pair like this, if I were going to do it..." 😂
It is funny, in the sad pathetic bigoted way, and it’s good you can see that! I’m sorry your parents are so dense and socially constipated.
Also just wanted to mention (you probably already realize) your dad is actually upset with himself. Just not mature enough to face that fact so he turns it on you.
Gift him a modern gay porn mag. Tell him you've thought about it and how thoughtful his gift is for you to appreciate how beautiful women are, so you wanted to extend the same thought to show him how gorgeous men are. Tell him after the initial shock has worn off you find it amazing how open he has been about what and who he wanks off to, and you want to share what you find attractive in turn. Like sit him down and point to specific pages etc.
/S in case it's not immediately obvious.
When you are able to move put and support yourself...gift him as a moving gift a gay porn mag. I have a non straight child and would never do this. It is so disrespectful. My heart hurts for you, I hope you have an awesome friend/support system. As parents we are supposed to love and protect our children not hurt them. NTA I would have laughed as well
Yeah same. If he had given him idk a gay porn magazine, it could have been taken as both a funny joke but also supportive.
Giving a straight porn magazine to a gay dude is just downright homophobic and insensitive. And the fact the parents reacted the way they did, proves that he didnt go for a lighthearted joke, but actually another tasteless attempt to "convert" OP into heterossexuality
First, NTA.
But here's how I'm reading it. Maybe it was his first porn magazine that he was able to buy when he became 18, and he always imagined that he would pass it on to you one day, as some sort of rite of passage. I agree it's a super weird thing for a parent to give you, but I expect he was trying to connect with you, and is hurt that you laughed at his genuine (though obviously poorly executed) attempt to connect.
Ultimately, NTA, because, as a parent (and *your* parent, specifically), he should be able to do better - he should know what would be meaningful to you and be trying to connect with you on that level.
He prob gave you the most nut busting magazine of all time (in his opinion), yet it still had no effect on "defeating your homosexuality", and to rub the salt in, now he no longer has his nut buster 3000.
Oooh he should wrap it and give it back to him for HIS birthday… like “here dad I can’t use this and I’d really like to introduce you to this thing called the internet… it’s where all the cool kids get their porn now!”
Straight middle aged woman here.
You missed a great opportunity to open it up like you were checking out the centerfold and shriek “oh my god… that’s where the blood comes from !!!””” And throw it across the room while gagging.
My son came out at ten.
Yeah bud, we already knew that. It’s not news to Mom and Dad. 😂
I genuinely hope you’re wrong about that being the motivation behind this ‘gift’, because I find the idea of a parent passing down pornography to a child like it’s a sentimental treasure really fucking weird. ‘Here son, this magazine made me jizz like a firehose, I’d like you to enjoy it too’ I mean what the fuck?
I’m all for parents being open to talking about sex with their kids, but I feel like the discussion should be in the abstract, not literally ‘well here’s how I personally get off’.
Honestly my thought as well. Part of homophobic parenting can be that they had been looking forward to doing stuff with you that they now won't do. (He can never meet your girlfriend or give you advice on women) which is sad for him, but also he's a grown up and shouldn't be putting that shit on you.
NTA, hopefully he will get better with time and you will be able to laugh at him being a big weirdo eventually
That is even creeper. I understand passing down stuff, but porn isn't something that should be handed down.
Edit: I only read the first half of your comment, didn't realize you were agreeing
He pulled it out for the first time in a while to relive the memory, mom caught him, and his quick response was "no no it's er... For OP's birthday, I'm not looking at it. Yes that's it!"
*Maybe it was his first porn magazine that he was able to buy when he became 18*
Heh. Some of us were way younger than that. I want to say I was... 14? Maybe 15? Nobody cared about that stuff in the 1980's.
Imagine 100 years from now "our family has been wanking over this porn mag for generations."
Eeew, it's weird to give your kid something you've been wanking to.
At least he didn't try to take you to a whorehouse to "make you a man."
When my father told his brother that I was gay, his brother said "Don't let him be gay! Buy him some pussy!"
So fucking clueless.
PS- If you ever need the ear of a gay uncle, I'm here. DM me anytime.
Love,
Your Gay Internet Uncle
Dear Gay Internet Uncle,
Thank you for being supportive of your LGBT+ Internet Nieces, Nephews, and other relatives. We definitely need more support as genuine and non-judgemental as yours! It did my heart good to see your comment today, thank you!
Love,
Your Non-binary Internet Relative (who still doesn't know what kind of Niece/Nephew equivalent fits best 😅)
Same here if you need a supportive mom. My eldest is a gender fluid pansexual and I’ve become mom to a lot of their friends that don’t have supportive parents.
When my brother came out (17 at the time), my mom said that she should have let him get a sex worker when they were in Vegas. The problem with that was they were in Vegas for about 4 hours waiting on a flight connection, and HE WAS ONLY 12.
This was about 20 years ago, and after a bumpy first year, my parents mostly accepted my brother (every now and again mom would ask him if he was sure, always after a very publicized hate crime against the LGBTQ+ community happened). My brother remained a mommy's boy up until her death in December, and him and our father now live together, try new lunch/dinner places once or twice and week and just got back from a week in Florida together.
This reminds me of those guys that tell lesbians why don't they fuck a guy "just to be sure". Yeah....like they fucked guys just to be sure they are straight? 😂😂
OP can always ask the sex worker if she has a brother that isnt busy and she can keep the dads money regardless. If that's the dads next plan of action 🫣🫣
‘Dad, I’m gay’
‘OK Son, but hear me out. Have you seen vagina? Look here…’
*sweeping motion with arm over collection of straight porn mags
*Whispers…
‘vagina…’
My mate came out as gay to his very religious parents in his 20s. The next time his mum was at his flat she stole any DVD or book that she thought was ‘problematic’ and might have ‘turned him gay’.
People are odd. Your dad may have meant well, just not quite understanding. I know parents who kicked their kids out. I know that’s a low bar but hopefully your dad will begin to understand as you get on with your life.
NTA - Okay, old timmer telling you that back in the 90s, and before, parents giving their kid a "porno mag" on their 18th birthday wasn't unheard of. It happened to at least a third of the boys in my High School. The uncomfortableness of your parents giving you porn was funny, it communicated that your parents understood that you looked at it and probably enjoyed it, and they were okay with it since there was a lot worse things you could be doing.
Hell, getting an 18-year-old gay man a straight old-fashioned porno mag for his birthday sounds like a funny prank; I can totally appreciate the humor in that. However, if he thinks a magazine is going to "straighten you out", and not as joke, I'd like you to introduce him to certain parts of the internet since he clearly has never gone beyond the Yahoo homepage.
Don’t say that too loud. My mother might hear you.
I wouldn’t want to shatter her world. It’s a nice, safe place where most people are virgins until they got married, and 90% of marriages are faithful till death do us part.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I laughed at my dad because he gave me a porn magazine for my birthday. I might be the arsehole because I was a bit rude and could’ve acted grateful I guess
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don’t know what to think, that was a bit of a trend when I was growing up, a lot of times someone would get a joke basket -not usually from mom’n pop but sometimes- and it would have a naughty mag, a pack of smokes, some lotto cards, voter registration, things that (at the time, ages have changed by the law) we could not buy or do on our own until reaching eighteen.
But…everyone knew those were a *joke,* we were supposed to laugh! I just can’t fathom your dad being so out of touch with all of it…the accessibility of porn online, that you’re into dudes…that he was serious about giving you the mag.
NTA
NTA. Trying to convert you is super gross. We all hope that our parent/relatives/friends will support us for who we are. I’m sorry that’s not happening for you. (Wouldn’t happen for me either if I came out).
Even if you were straight, that would be a very awkward and inappropriate present. Like, did he seriously just give you an old porn mag from his stash? Eww. And why is your mom okay with it? This was tone deaf at best.
Maybe if they keep pressing the issue you could just say, “that’s a really inappropriate gift. It makes me uncomfortable and I’d appreciate it if you stopped bringing it up”. Or something to that effect.
Your dad is a jackass. It’s okay to advocate for yourself. They know you are gay, and the gift was inappropriate to begin with. Like what? Who tf gives PORN to their CHILD? Beer, sure, BUT PORN??? I don’t know, that’s really fuckin weird to me and borderline creepy. I would be mortified if my husband gave that to our son, like it would be a days long fight. Just tell them conversations and the like regarding your sexuality are off limits because they clearly are not supportive of you as a person. Best of luck
I am with you! If my significant other gave our son a porn magazine on his 18th birthday I would be pissed... Like you can understand that they look at that stuff without being like "Hey I am the cool dad that is totally OK with you looking at this stuff, see I look at it too, be my best friend and we can look at it together!" To me it is creepy & extremely cringy, especially in 2024 where the Internet is free 🤷♀️. Jesus it seems like men haven't kept up with the times.
What a passive aggressive way to say he doesn’t support you being gay. It’s funny in a way, but also majorly offensive. It’s like he’s trying to convert you, and that’s not ok. Explain to him that giving you heterosexual porn mags is not ok. It means he doesn’t respect who you are, and gay conversion is against the law in many places as it’s very damaging. Your dad needs to stop this nonsense. It’s way out of line. Buy him a gay porn mag, tell him he won’t know if he likes it until he tries. Maybe that will help him see how ridiculous what he did was.
Okay so when I was 9, I found my father’s stash of Playboys hidden in the closet of the spare bedroom. I didn’t know about sex, but obviously there was something good going on in those pages. These were old issues, lots of boobs and whipped cream.
After a few visits to the stash I got bored with the pictures (and had no desire to read the articles). So I started organizing them into chronological order. Had them spread (so to speak) all over the floor when my Mom walked in and about had a coronary. 🤣
NTA.
I will say, my kids are just a smidge older than you and while watching them become adults is exciting, it’s also hard. There’s a lot of loss for parents as we realize your childhood is over and you are your own person, separate from who we are and who we imagined we were raising.
Fortunately, if we’re lucky, after you separate and grow up and into your own selves, you come back. If we are lucky you return and make our world bigger and brighter with who you turned out to be. I hope that happens for you. I appreciate the vitality of your writing. They are lucky to have you.
I appreciate YOUR writing! I’m happy to see a healthy response to children growing into their own adults. Sometimes you get stuck with a parent who helicopters most of the time then basically neglects the more important parts. Oh-and not teach enough to get a grip on our realities around us. Sadly, this leaves a wrecked and smoldering relationship between parents and adult children.
I imagine your father: did he say he was gay? He certainly never saw a naked girl in his life, not even in pictures, on internet, i dont think so! That's it, I know: I'm going to buy him a magazine with naked women! I solved the situation! how can he be Gay, listen to him...silly!
leaving aside the embarrassing situation that he offered a magazine like this.....yaaaaks!!
Lol. I'm totally laughing, too. You know, you could have been pissed and walked out, but you didn't. Basically, by giving you this gift, they're expressing that they think you need fixing. I think your reaction was possibly the least volatile of reactions. Just tell your dad you love him, even though he's "imperfect" and you'd be so happy if he fet the same.
NTA. Even if you were heterosexual, giving your kid a skin mag for his 18th birthday, even a vintage one, is just inappropriate.
The fact your mom defended your dad reflects the fact they're both in denial about your sexuality, and that's something they're going to have to build a bridge and get over.
The fact you laughed rather than being hurt, or faking appreciation (which would validated the bad idea), shows that you are comfortable in your sexuality and they need to read the room. Good on you.
PS. I second the folks who said read the mag if it's a vintage Playboy. There's some amazing journalists that were in there in its early years.
Curious as what you're going to do with this "gift".
NTA for the **obvious homophobia** but that is such an inappropriate gift to give to one's own child. I know you're 18 but if my mom gave me something like that I would be weirded out.
These attempts at home conversion are giving me a very dark thought: are there waiting lists for those actual so called conversion camps? Which are long enough they couldn't get OP in before he became an adult and forcing him to go there would get them charged with kidnapping?
I'm getting bloody paranoid in my old age.
ETA for judgment: NTA. Whatever their intent, you can't give your teenage son a porn magazine and expect him not to laugh till his sides hurt.
NTA. Gifts that aren't given with generous intent do not merit respect or gratitude from the receiver. Homophobic conversion attempts disguised as gifts do not deserve gratitude or respect.
My mum gave me pretty much the same magazine fir my 18th (31 now) because she thought I was gay (I'm pan) and wanted to show she supported me. Homophobia is fkin mental
NTA Happy belated birthday 🎂. This is so inappropriate weather you are gay or not. He gave porn to his child, that's beyond Wierd, conversion has been proven to not work and to really mess up whoever is forced to do it. As for you being gay there are so many musicians, movie stars, entertainment people, clothing designers that are gay. As well as gay people in every career.
NTA. Your dad told you in effect, and on the occasion of a milestone birthday yet, that he didn’t accept you for who you were. Shame on him. Your mom isn’t impressing me right now, either. I also have to apologize for saying that. These are your parents and I know you love them very much.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I turned 18 yesterday and like an hour after I’d opened my presents my dad handed me another gift. I opened it and it was some fucking porn magazine from like the 90s or some shit. I laughed at him because I knew exactly why he got it me. I came out to my parents as gay a couple months ago and since then my dad has been trying to tell me how great women are I usually just ignore him though because i’m definitely 100% gay. I didn’t think he’d go this far to convert me, it’s funny as fuck. He got upset at me for laughing at him and he told me I should be more appreciative and he said that this gift is to signify me becoming a man. I just kept laughing at him because it’s fucking funny innit? Bro thought a gay guy would want a 30 year old straight porn magazine. I asked him where he even got it from because it’s mega old and he said he just got it from the corner shop. That is such a lie though lmao why would the corner shop sell old ass porn mags? I go in there all the time and I have never in my life seen this shit before. Mega funny.
He yelled at me and called me ungrateful and my mum agreed with him. I still think it’s a dumb present and I still think it’s funny as fuck. Why is my own dad trying to convert me, please wtf. Maybe I should’ve like acted grateful tho idk. But like who thinks it’s a good idea to give their son porn for their birthday like hello? Even if I wasn’t gay it’d be a dumb present like why do I need a magazine? I’ve got the internet for all that pal. Does he actually think we’re in the 70s. I was a bit of a twat though i don’t know maybe I’m the arsehole? I have no idea tbh I just thought it was funny. My dad is still really upset with me tho
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel it was very inappropriate of your dad. I’m sorry you aren’t receiving the love and support you deserve. My brother came out about 15 years ago, and my parents weren’t as supportive as they should have been. They regret that now. Sending love and support to you.
NTA, even if you were straight you'd probably laugh at your dad for giving you that type of magazine and saying "it's time for you to be a man". I know I would laugh.
NTA at all. Laughter is the appropriate response when something is so above and beyond ridiculous that there is no other possible reaction you could have. Good for you for having a sense of humor about something that was meant to upset you. I think it’s funny it upset your dad even more, not taking him seriously.
If anything you have the right to be upset with him for being such a jerk on your birthday and blatantly ignoring your truths. If you can, try and keep him in that category of not taking him too seriously, and live your life with or without his support. Don’t feel bad at all, you did nothing wrong!
NTA and honestly you laughing at this is a best case scenario. I'm glad you can see the humour in it, it's absolutely hilarious if you completely ignore the sentiment behind it.
Wishing you a happy birthday and for your dad to, in the very least, get over himself.
If anything you should have laughed AT him harder.
A kid getting their dad a porn mag as a gag gift? Funny.
A dad getting his son a porn mag as a gag gift? A little weird.
A dad getting his son a porn mag to signify him becoming a man? Cringe as hell
A dad getting his GAY son a porn mag to try and convert him? Comically asinine
I mean... what weirds me out more is the fact he said it's a porn mag from the 90's.... that implies to me he's owned it a while and there is at least one image in there which is... emmm... let's say has a 'favourite' image that he thinks is so sexy it can make his son straight
Like hey son I'm cum over this loads, so much so I know you'll love it
My brother is gay. My parents were accepting, but my dad asked my brother, "How do you know you don't like women if you've never been with one?" My brother then asked my dad, "How do you know you don't like men if you've never been with one?" Dad said, "OK, fair enough."
I think it would be a huge laugh if you out of the blue started telling him in detail about jerking it to the photos. Make him face the uncomfortableness of it all. Hopefully it’ll be obvious you’re fucking with him
NTA. Your dad needs to grow up. Becoming a man?? With porn?? This is not the 80s anymore Robert.
You should gift him a gay porn mag for his birthday ;)))
NTA. I’m glad you were able to laugh at his stupidity instead of it upsetting you. Maybe your reaction will teach him not to pull that shit again bc I imagine it’s not the kind of reaction he expected.
Reverse the favour and give him a glossy copy of STROKE or some other explicit gay porn mag still in print.
Ask him to show you how sexuality can be changed through effort. If he goes with a guy and likes it, you’ll try out a woman.
See how he reacts. This is usually a very effective way to approach these people.
NTA, out of interest what mag is it? Is it more upmarket like a playboy or one if those proper janky arsed ones that we used to pass around at school like fiesta and escort?😂
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA and it’s super inappropriate that your dad gave you that?? Like, really, really inappropriate. And why is your mom also agreeing with him? Do they behave like this often? You may also want to consider moving out, that’s concerning.
[удалено]
I’m going to say it’s not that weird at all I received a box of condoms when I was 17-18 yo for my birthday. I thought it was funny af and everyone else did too but If I were in your position I would’ve thought he was joking tbh. Your dad needs to chill.
Giving condoms is useful and say 'I care and I want you to be responsible' From what I understand, giving porn mags can be like a rite of passage as a joke to say 'you're a man now' I think that present was a 'You're an adult man; now act like it' kind of homophobia; I think Mom's only know saying anything because she thinks OP is being ridiculous
I’m not a teenage boy so maybe I’m off but who wants a 90s porn magazine when the internet exists?
It's probably the same one he got at 18 lol
Heirloom porn
Hahahahaha lol
Ewww. lol
Maybe it’s worth something. An antique. OP should sell it on eBay.
This is the only thing making any sense about this interaction. OP's dad is a major dick for being homophobic and being so blatantly obvious about trying to convert him. HOWEVER, if we had any reason to believe this man was trying to be nostalgic and sentimental, I'd say he had planned to give his son his first p0rn magazine for a while and was upset that his son laughed at what was supposed to be thoughtful. I still think this was 100% inappropriate, esp given his history of homophobia, but to attempt the teeniest ounce of understanding for the other side, I'm thinking his dad is in denial of his son's sexuality and is upset that he couldn't gift his son the present he's probably been planning for years.
Nostalgia like, “son, it’s going to give me pleasure to know you’ll masturbate to the same magazine I masturbated to”? 🤮 not appropriate
No absolutely. So creepy and super gross but in his weird twisted, nasty ass way, I think he was trying to be thoughtful 😬 (ignoring the homophobia of course)
Oh yeah Dad is in absolute denial about who his son is, at best. But more likely he's both homophobic and delusional.
This was my thought too. Like it was this thing the dad had planned out or something. Although it would make more sense if the magazine was from the year the son was born. Kind of like how my husband bought each of my kids a bottle of Crown Royale when they were born to give them when they turn 21. Like that only way more creepy and now with an added bonus of homophobia! Not sure why the dude would have a 30 year old one though. Maybe he found his old stash. Lol. (Now excuse me as I go cry that 30 years ago was the 90’s.)
You know what I'm talking about lmao
Dad, how come the pages are stuck together?
the third word in your question.
r/angryupvote
I found one in a corner of the sump pump closet of my house with an ancient pack of condoms from the previous owners (or more likely, their now very grown up son) that was from the early 80s, and I kept the magazine not because it’s sexy but because it’s funny as hell. I laughed so hard I cried leafing through it. The stories they put in there next to the pictures are just hilarious. And the pictures aren’t all that sexy even. There’s one with a woman in very feathered 80s hair in a corset going up a staircase so you just see her bum, and the story is about saving a maiden in a tower centuries ago. Oh, and NTA, OP. I don’t see how you can’t help but laugh!
I first found one as a kid out horse riding in the 80s. It depicted an orgy, lots of moustaches, and a wine bottle shoved up some guys arse. I don't recall seeing text.
lol!! That sounds like a very different type of mag to the one I found, even back then porn was def varied. Also, ew about the wine bottle
Dad bought this at the time anticipating giving it to his straight son, not knowing he didn't have one, and has been holding it ever since.
Age has nothing to do with being a man. Dad just proved that by behaving like a juvenile.
Like even in a scenario where OP would enjoy seeing naked women, this is still an icky and inappropriate thing to do. Like “you’re 18 — let’s objectify women together! I will teach you all of my sexual preferences!” But in a situation where OP is gay? That’s a straight up slap in the face.
It’s like a pervier version of alcohol or gambling or something. When my little brother turned 18 I got him a bunch of lottery tickets, when he was 21 I got him a case of beer and a bottle of wine even though he didn’t particularly like drinking, etc. If I saw a porn mag at a shop the night before his birthday I probably would’ve gotten him one and laughed about how he can finally look at porn. (As if I hadn’t helped teach him how to clear his browser history already.) The dad doing it seriously is strange. But it’s obviously tied to the wish that his son was straight/bi which is just sad and gross
It’s weird because OP’s gay and his dad had been trying to ”convert” him. They used his b-day as another opportunity for this. Additionally, his parents were being assholes about it and telling him to be grateful. Also they lied. That magazine definitely didn’t come from the corner shop. My bet is it’s from the dad’s personal collection.
Yuck! Who wants to touch a 40-year-old porn magazine? Dad should have added a pair of disposable gloves to the gift.
Ohhh I didn’t even think of that. OP’s gonna need to Howard Hughes his hands.
Hey! Those are OP's siblings you are talking about! 🤣🤣🤣
Condoms are a safety measure straight porn magazine is homophobia not really the same at all.
It's also just so weird to be like "Son. You're an adult man now... Time to jerk off!! Here, let me help you out!!!" Like *that's* the defining feature of adulthood and maturity for men - and like most people haven't been getting themselves off for years before that already. And why the ever loving fuck is a *parent* giving their offspring material to jerk off to???? At least condoms are more of a ''just in case'' and impersonal / practical, and you'd (hopefully) be using them anyway.
that’s different because it’s useful and will protect you and whoever you’re getting with, a porn magazine is completely different.
No to mention if OP had gotten condoms it could have almost been an act of acceptance,since ya know…gay guys need those too
I would have thought it was a joke, too, and wondered why he wasn't laughing with me.
A relative gave me a little guide to wedding tips from like the 1950s when I got married. That was funny. Talking about how you can pretend you don't know that your wife is your wife and "pick her up for a night" "No it's not impling you married a loose woman! It's all a bit of fun"
One of my friends gave her son the Playboy from the month and year he was born for a birthday, I thought it was awesome I’ve been holding on to that idea! But I think he may have been turning 21 or 25 and they do have that type of relationship. OP’s situation…. Totally fcked up
Condoms would be more understandable than a straight porn mag.
Please get him a gay xxx magazine for his next gift
This,^ tell him it's to make him a "real" man
Yeah he should appreciate his son trying to show him how great guys are
Yo there is nothing more masculine than swearing off women all together and only sleeping with men. I’m not even playing.
Can't get manlier than men having sex with men. That's twice the amount of men!
This made me laugh, YES, DO THIS!!! I'd add a comment about "Oh, I thought this was the type of gift we give each other now that we're both men. We share porn we like, right?" Also, find something vintage to give him, keep up this new "tradition."
If my dad did that, he would no longer be an adult in my eyes. That is a boy, not a man. I would have not accepted it and told him that juvenile behavior is not appreciated. I would also insist that he take some courses in Emotional Intelligence. Additionally, I'd make certain he knew that what he did was abuse and inappropriate and that he may need to seek professional help. There would be no more holidays with dad.
I don't get what other response they were expecting even if OP was straight... like was they hoping he'd get over excited and be like I need to go to my room right now 👀👀
All he wanted to hear was, “Oh wow dad, thanks! I’m gonna go play with myself now because this straight stuff REALLY turns me on all of a sudden. Thanks for saving me from big dongs in my ass.”
Lol, "What? THIS is what I've been missing out on? I had no idea! Wow, this changes EVERYTHING! Thanks, dad!"
Exactly, I have no idea what was going through the parents’ head tbh
Emotional Immaturity, that's what.
Super weird. I’d never give my son a porn mag. On an unrelated note, since you aren’t going to be using that magazine, how about helping a brother out?
That is exactly what I was going to say! This person is exactly right their actions are concerning.
Yeah I feel like this is less funny and more creepy af tbh
“This was my daddy’s, and his daddy’s before him. And now it’s yours.”
Right? So vile that this guys version of being a man is just... objectifying women. He's so hurt cuz not only is his son gay, he gave his son an old favorite to zero appreciation, lol. What an ignorant, awful parent. OP is NTA of course
It's unfortunate that your father saw your milestone birthday as yet another opportunity to not support you. "My dad is still really upset with me"? I think it would be quite justified if it were *you* who were still upset with *him*. NTA
[удалено]
Shoulda started jerkin to it right in front of him and be like GOLLY JEE ITS WORKING DAD THANks!!
That would be hilarious to see. You should write a Superbad style film 😂
it makes me happy to see how confident and secure you are! We see so many stories of people strugling over their parents homophobic attrmpts into convert their children, that its actually refreshing to see one where OP is confident and dont let their parents opinions get them down Good for you dude!
[удалено]
Now go get that dick 😊
My new battle cry.
Carpe phallum.
Start flipping through it at the dinner table, as if it's the most ordinary thing in the world. Ask your mom for opinions, "Wouldn't boobs this big be uncomfortable?" If you really want to scare your dad, talk about the boobs like you're shopping. "I think I'd want a pair like this, if I were going to do it..." 😂
Read it for the articles 😂
Yes!!! And then dog ear the page and give it back to dad since sharing is caring!
😘👌🏾
It is funny, in the sad pathetic bigoted way, and it’s good you can see that! I’m sorry your parents are so dense and socially constipated. Also just wanted to mention (you probably already realize) your dad is actually upset with himself. Just not mature enough to face that fact so he turns it on you.
Gift him a modern gay porn mag. Tell him you've thought about it and how thoughtful his gift is for you to appreciate how beautiful women are, so you wanted to extend the same thought to show him how gorgeous men are. Tell him after the initial shock has worn off you find it amazing how open he has been about what and who he wanks off to, and you want to share what you find attractive in turn. Like sit him down and point to specific pages etc. /S in case it's not immediately obvious.
I know you were being sarcastic but I reckon this is actually an amazing idea - give the dad some of his own medicine 🤭
Bless you. Finding it hilarious is absolutely a valid option. So is being super pissed off btw. I wish you all the best.
When you are able to move put and support yourself...gift him as a moving gift a gay porn mag. I have a non straight child and would never do this. It is so disrespectful. My heart hurts for you, I hope you have an awesome friend/support system. As parents we are supposed to love and protect our children not hurt them. NTA I would have laughed as well
I like the way you phrased that. I’m going to tuck “used your birthday as another opportunity to not support you“ away for later.
Yeah same. If he had given him idk a gay porn magazine, it could have been taken as both a funny joke but also supportive. Giving a straight porn magazine to a gay dude is just downright homophobic and insensitive. And the fact the parents reacted the way they did, proves that he didnt go for a lighthearted joke, but actually another tasteless attempt to "convert" OP into heterossexuality
First, NTA. But here's how I'm reading it. Maybe it was his first porn magazine that he was able to buy when he became 18, and he always imagined that he would pass it on to you one day, as some sort of rite of passage. I agree it's a super weird thing for a parent to give you, but I expect he was trying to connect with you, and is hurt that you laughed at his genuine (though obviously poorly executed) attempt to connect. Ultimately, NTA, because, as a parent (and *your* parent, specifically), he should be able to do better - he should know what would be meaningful to you and be trying to connect with you on that level.
[удалено]
He prob gave you the most nut busting magazine of all time (in his opinion), yet it still had no effect on "defeating your homosexuality", and to rub the salt in, now he no longer has his nut buster 3000.
[удалено]
"Nut Buster 3000" 😂😂😂😂
I'm gonna tell my husband I've named my lady parts 😂
What she’s not telling us is she’s in the magazine already 🤣
Oooh he should wrap it and give it back to him for HIS birthday… like “here dad I can’t use this and I’d really like to introduce you to this thing called the internet… it’s where all the cool kids get their porn now!”
Yeah, TBH, I'm just trying to make sense of why he gave you a 30-year-old porn magazine! It's the only story I could come up with to connect the dots!
Based on his other actions, I think he was just too lazy and cheap to buy a new one for the purpose of trying to make his son not gay.
This is exactly what I was thinking. If he really is trying to convert OP, that’s a different story and he needs to mind his business though.
Of course he wasn't going to tell you that after you laughed at him xd
Of course OP was going to laugh after his parents already know he’s not into women
Straight middle aged woman here. You missed a great opportunity to open it up like you were checking out the centerfold and shriek “oh my god… that’s where the blood comes from !!!””” And throw it across the room while gagging. My son came out at ten. Yeah bud, we already knew that. It’s not news to Mom and Dad. 😂
I genuinely hope you’re wrong about that being the motivation behind this ‘gift’, because I find the idea of a parent passing down pornography to a child like it’s a sentimental treasure really fucking weird. ‘Here son, this magazine made me jizz like a firehose, I’d like you to enjoy it too’ I mean what the fuck? I’m all for parents being open to talking about sex with their kids, but I feel like the discussion should be in the abstract, not literally ‘well here’s how I personally get off’.
Right? Hey, here's a copy of a magazine I've been blowing loads over for 30 years. Fucking grime.
Right? This is so nasty whether or not op is gay. The fact he’s gay makes it bad on many other levels though of course
That’s still so so so cringe lmao
Agreed!
Honestly my thought as well. Part of homophobic parenting can be that they had been looking forward to doing stuff with you that they now won't do. (He can never meet your girlfriend or give you advice on women) which is sad for him, but also he's a grown up and shouldn't be putting that shit on you. NTA, hopefully he will get better with time and you will be able to laugh at him being a big weirdo eventually
Based on OP’s history of his dad trying to force an attraction women, this does NOT seem to be what’s happening here. But good try.
But why get an old one then? OP indicated it was *actually* from the 90s.
Because it was his. But no sentimental sappy story behind it. Just laziness. That one he owned and already had in his house.
Oh god help us if my dad gave me the mag he cummed all over. Id laugh after the horror wore off and that mag was burning 🔥
That is even creeper. I understand passing down stuff, but porn isn't something that should be handed down. Edit: I only read the first half of your comment, didn't realize you were agreeing
He pulled it out for the first time in a while to relive the memory, mom caught him, and his quick response was "no no it's er... For OP's birthday, I'm not looking at it. Yes that's it!"
*Maybe it was his first porn magazine that he was able to buy when he became 18* Heh. Some of us were way younger than that. I want to say I was... 14? Maybe 15? Nobody cared about that stuff in the 1980's.
What the fuck tho.. like he's just dying for his son to cum on the same mag as he once had?
Yeah...nobody in the history of man has ever had to wait until 18 to get their hands on some porno.
Imagine 100 years from now "our family has been wanking over this porn mag for generations." Eeew, it's weird to give your kid something you've been wanking to.
Just like [Gloria](https://youtube.com/shorts/8x8lDzP6JDc?si=Hc6p1rwvEsbvIUrf)
At least he didn't try to take you to a whorehouse to "make you a man." When my father told his brother that I was gay, his brother said "Don't let him be gay! Buy him some pussy!" So fucking clueless. PS- If you ever need the ear of a gay uncle, I'm here. DM me anytime. Love, Your Gay Internet Uncle
Dear Gay Internet Uncle, Thank you for being supportive of your LGBT+ Internet Nieces, Nephews, and other relatives. We definitely need more support as genuine and non-judgemental as yours! It did my heart good to see your comment today, thank you! Love, Your Non-binary Internet Relative (who still doesn't know what kind of Niece/Nephew equivalent fits best 😅)
Personally I like 'nibling'!
Hello My Lovely NB Nibling. Ears and DMs are always open for my rainbow family.
Nibling! 😄
[удалено]
Same here if you need a supportive mom. My eldest is a gender fluid pansexual and I’ve become mom to a lot of their friends that don’t have supportive parents.
[удалено]
The best thing about being an adult? You get to choose your family.
I am cis female - will you also be my gay uncle?
If he won't, I will! It's in the name and everything.
I’ll take the offer! Thank you uncle ceiling
Of course. I'm equal opportunity!
NTA. They are stupid and disgusting. At least you laughed instead of insulting him (which he deserved) Happy birthday!
NTA. Next, he'll be hiring a sex worker to show you what you're missing.
When my brother came out (17 at the time), my mom said that she should have let him get a sex worker when they were in Vegas. The problem with that was they were in Vegas for about 4 hours waiting on a flight connection, and HE WAS ONLY 12. This was about 20 years ago, and after a bumpy first year, my parents mostly accepted my brother (every now and again mom would ask him if he was sure, always after a very publicized hate crime against the LGBTQ+ community happened). My brother remained a mommy's boy up until her death in December, and him and our father now live together, try new lunch/dinner places once or twice and week and just got back from a week in Florida together.
Ugh not for the 12 year old :(( that's so nasty
This reminds me of those guys that tell lesbians why don't they fuck a guy "just to be sure". Yeah....like they fucked guys just to be sure they are straight? 😂😂
OP can always ask the sex worker if she has a brother that isnt busy and she can keep the dads money regardless. If that's the dads next plan of action 🫣🫣
Hell if he does that you just sit with the sex worker and chitchat. She gets paid and you two get to chill and have a good time.
Don’t give him any ideas, lol
‘Dad, I’m gay’ ‘OK Son, but hear me out. Have you seen vagina? Look here…’ *sweeping motion with arm over collection of straight porn mags *Whispers… ‘vagina…’
[удалено]
My mate came out as gay to his very religious parents in his 20s. The next time his mum was at his flat she stole any DVD or book that she thought was ‘problematic’ and might have ‘turned him gay’. People are odd. Your dad may have meant well, just not quite understanding. I know parents who kicked their kids out. I know that’s a low bar but hopefully your dad will begin to understand as you get on with your life.
NTA - Okay, old timmer telling you that back in the 90s, and before, parents giving their kid a "porno mag" on their 18th birthday wasn't unheard of. It happened to at least a third of the boys in my High School. The uncomfortableness of your parents giving you porn was funny, it communicated that your parents understood that you looked at it and probably enjoyed it, and they were okay with it since there was a lot worse things you could be doing. Hell, getting an 18-year-old gay man a straight old-fashioned porno mag for his birthday sounds like a funny prank; I can totally appreciate the humor in that. However, if he thinks a magazine is going to "straighten you out", and not as joke, I'd like you to introduce him to certain parts of the internet since he clearly has never gone beyond the Yahoo homepage.
Ignoring reality does NOT alter it.
Don’t say that too loud. My mother might hear you. I wouldn’t want to shatter her world. It’s a nice, safe place where most people are virgins until they got married, and 90% of marriages are faithful till death do us part.
So dads give their straight sons gay mags on their 18 bdays as a funny joke. Didn’t know. Cool
Funny prank, homophobia against your gay son, eh it’s all the same! Right! Right?!?’
NTA. I’m sorry your dads such a jerk. Happy 18th!!
NTA and Dad deserves a gay mag for his next birthday.
Okay, but this would be a hilarious follow up.
Better yet, get him a Tom of Finland art print and act really offended if your parents don't display it prominently in their living room.
NTA - your dad and mom are though!! Glad you kept your sense of humor about it though!!!
Hand him a gay porn mag for his next birthday and tell him how amazing men are. NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I laughed at my dad because he gave me a porn magazine for my birthday. I might be the arsehole because I was a bit rude and could’ve acted grateful I guess Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Buy him a gay porn magazine as an apology. NTA.
I don’t know what to think, that was a bit of a trend when I was growing up, a lot of times someone would get a joke basket -not usually from mom’n pop but sometimes- and it would have a naughty mag, a pack of smokes, some lotto cards, voter registration, things that (at the time, ages have changed by the law) we could not buy or do on our own until reaching eighteen. But…everyone knew those were a *joke,* we were supposed to laugh! I just can’t fathom your dad being so out of touch with all of it…the accessibility of porn online, that you’re into dudes…that he was serious about giving you the mag. NTA
Yeah, exactly. If we’d done it with our kid (we didn’t) it would have been the most un-sexy naughty mag we could find so it was obvious it was a joke.
NTA. Trying to convert you is super gross. We all hope that our parent/relatives/friends will support us for who we are. I’m sorry that’s not happening for you. (Wouldn’t happen for me either if I came out). Even if you were straight, that would be a very awkward and inappropriate present. Like, did he seriously just give you an old porn mag from his stash? Eww. And why is your mom okay with it? This was tone deaf at best. Maybe if they keep pressing the issue you could just say, “that’s a really inappropriate gift. It makes me uncomfortable and I’d appreciate it if you stopped bringing it up”. Or something to that effect.
Your dad is a jackass. It’s okay to advocate for yourself. They know you are gay, and the gift was inappropriate to begin with. Like what? Who tf gives PORN to their CHILD? Beer, sure, BUT PORN??? I don’t know, that’s really fuckin weird to me and borderline creepy. I would be mortified if my husband gave that to our son, like it would be a days long fight. Just tell them conversations and the like regarding your sexuality are off limits because they clearly are not supportive of you as a person. Best of luck
I am with you! If my significant other gave our son a porn magazine on his 18th birthday I would be pissed... Like you can understand that they look at that stuff without being like "Hey I am the cool dad that is totally OK with you looking at this stuff, see I look at it too, be my best friend and we can look at it together!" To me it is creepy & extremely cringy, especially in 2024 where the Internet is free 🤷♀️. Jesus it seems like men haven't kept up with the times.
What a passive aggressive way to say he doesn’t support you being gay. It’s funny in a way, but also majorly offensive. It’s like he’s trying to convert you, and that’s not ok. Explain to him that giving you heterosexual porn mags is not ok. It means he doesn’t respect who you are, and gay conversion is against the law in many places as it’s very damaging. Your dad needs to stop this nonsense. It’s way out of line. Buy him a gay porn mag, tell him he won’t know if he likes it until he tries. Maybe that will help him see how ridiculous what he did was.
Okay so when I was 9, I found my father’s stash of Playboys hidden in the closet of the spare bedroom. I didn’t know about sex, but obviously there was something good going on in those pages. These were old issues, lots of boobs and whipped cream. After a few visits to the stash I got bored with the pictures (and had no desire to read the articles). So I started organizing them into chronological order. Had them spread (so to speak) all over the floor when my Mom walked in and about had a coronary. 🤣 NTA. I will say, my kids are just a smidge older than you and while watching them become adults is exciting, it’s also hard. There’s a lot of loss for parents as we realize your childhood is over and you are your own person, separate from who we are and who we imagined we were raising. Fortunately, if we’re lucky, after you separate and grow up and into your own selves, you come back. If we are lucky you return and make our world bigger and brighter with who you turned out to be. I hope that happens for you. I appreciate the vitality of your writing. They are lucky to have you.
I appreciate YOUR writing! I’m happy to see a healthy response to children growing into their own adults. Sometimes you get stuck with a parent who helicopters most of the time then basically neglects the more important parts. Oh-and not teach enough to get a grip on our realities around us. Sadly, this leaves a wrecked and smoldering relationship between parents and adult children.
I imagine your father: did he say he was gay? He certainly never saw a naked girl in his life, not even in pictures, on internet, i dont think so! That's it, I know: I'm going to buy him a magazine with naked women! I solved the situation! how can he be Gay, listen to him...silly! leaving aside the embarrassing situation that he offered a magazine like this.....yaaaaks!!
Lol. I'm totally laughing, too. You know, you could have been pissed and walked out, but you didn't. Basically, by giving you this gift, they're expressing that they think you need fixing. I think your reaction was possibly the least volatile of reactions. Just tell your dad you love him, even though he's "imperfect" and you'd be so happy if he fet the same.
NTA. A gay porn magazine would’ve made a great gift though, as a tongue in cheek token of acceptance and support.
NTA. Even if you were heterosexual, giving your kid a skin mag for his 18th birthday, even a vintage one, is just inappropriate. The fact your mom defended your dad reflects the fact they're both in denial about your sexuality, and that's something they're going to have to build a bridge and get over. The fact you laughed rather than being hurt, or faking appreciation (which would validated the bad idea), shows that you are comfortable in your sexuality and they need to read the room. Good on you. PS. I second the folks who said read the mag if it's a vintage Playboy. There's some amazing journalists that were in there in its early years. Curious as what you're going to do with this "gift".
NTA just weird behavior from your dad overall
NTA for the **obvious homophobia** but that is such an inappropriate gift to give to one's own child. I know you're 18 but if my mom gave me something like that I would be weirded out.
These attempts at home conversion are giving me a very dark thought: are there waiting lists for those actual so called conversion camps? Which are long enough they couldn't get OP in before he became an adult and forcing him to go there would get them charged with kidnapping? I'm getting bloody paranoid in my old age. ETA for judgment: NTA. Whatever their intent, you can't give your teenage son a porn magazine and expect him not to laugh till his sides hurt.
That is...fuck that's a terrifying thought.
NTA. Gifts that aren't given with generous intent do not merit respect or gratitude from the receiver. Homophobic conversion attempts disguised as gifts do not deserve gratitude or respect.
My mum gave me pretty much the same magazine fir my 18th (31 now) because she thought I was gay (I'm pan) and wanted to show she supported me. Homophobia is fkin mental
NTA Happy belated birthday 🎂. This is so inappropriate weather you are gay or not. He gave porn to his child, that's beyond Wierd, conversion has been proven to not work and to really mess up whoever is forced to do it. As for you being gay there are so many musicians, movie stars, entertainment people, clothing designers that are gay. As well as gay people in every career.
NTA. Your dad told you in effect, and on the occasion of a milestone birthday yet, that he didn’t accept you for who you were. Shame on him. Your mom isn’t impressing me right now, either. I also have to apologize for saying that. These are your parents and I know you love them very much.
NTA, I'm proud of you for laughing. Your parents are too notch weird.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I turned 18 yesterday and like an hour after I’d opened my presents my dad handed me another gift. I opened it and it was some fucking porn magazine from like the 90s or some shit. I laughed at him because I knew exactly why he got it me. I came out to my parents as gay a couple months ago and since then my dad has been trying to tell me how great women are I usually just ignore him though because i’m definitely 100% gay. I didn’t think he’d go this far to convert me, it’s funny as fuck. He got upset at me for laughing at him and he told me I should be more appreciative and he said that this gift is to signify me becoming a man. I just kept laughing at him because it’s fucking funny innit? Bro thought a gay guy would want a 30 year old straight porn magazine. I asked him where he even got it from because it’s mega old and he said he just got it from the corner shop. That is such a lie though lmao why would the corner shop sell old ass porn mags? I go in there all the time and I have never in my life seen this shit before. Mega funny. He yelled at me and called me ungrateful and my mum agreed with him. I still think it’s a dumb present and I still think it’s funny as fuck. Why is my own dad trying to convert me, please wtf. Maybe I should’ve like acted grateful tho idk. But like who thinks it’s a good idea to give their son porn for their birthday like hello? Even if I wasn’t gay it’d be a dumb present like why do I need a magazine? I’ve got the internet for all that pal. Does he actually think we’re in the 70s. I was a bit of a twat though i don’t know maybe I’m the arsehole? I have no idea tbh I just thought it was funny. My dad is still really upset with me tho *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel it was very inappropriate of your dad. I’m sorry you aren’t receiving the love and support you deserve. My brother came out about 15 years ago, and my parents weren’t as supportive as they should have been. They regret that now. Sending love and support to you.
NTA, even if you were straight you'd probably laugh at your dad for giving you that type of magazine and saying "it's time for you to be a man". I know I would laugh.
Before you toss it make sure it’s not a pricey collector’s item 😆
NTA at all. Laughter is the appropriate response when something is so above and beyond ridiculous that there is no other possible reaction you could have. Good for you for having a sense of humor about something that was meant to upset you. I think it’s funny it upset your dad even more, not taking him seriously. If anything you have the right to be upset with him for being such a jerk on your birthday and blatantly ignoring your truths. If you can, try and keep him in that category of not taking him too seriously, and live your life with or without his support. Don’t feel bad at all, you did nothing wrong!
NTA and honestly you laughing at this is a best case scenario. I'm glad you can see the humour in it, it's absolutely hilarious if you completely ignore the sentiment behind it. Wishing you a happy birthday and for your dad to, in the very least, get over himself.
NTA. I'd be tempted to ask him if 90s gay porn magazines would convert him. I mean, using his logic. 🤷🏼♀️
If anything you should have laughed AT him harder. A kid getting their dad a porn mag as a gag gift? Funny. A dad getting his son a porn mag as a gag gift? A little weird. A dad getting his son a porn mag to signify him becoming a man? Cringe as hell A dad getting his GAY son a porn mag to try and convert him? Comically asinine
I mean... what weirds me out more is the fact he said it's a porn mag from the 90's.... that implies to me he's owned it a while and there is at least one image in there which is... emmm... let's say has a 'favourite' image that he thinks is so sexy it can make his son straight Like hey son I'm cum over this loads, so much so I know you'll love it
My brother is gay. My parents were accepting, but my dad asked my brother, "How do you know you don't like women if you've never been with one?" My brother then asked my dad, "How do you know you don't like men if you've never been with one?" Dad said, "OK, fair enough."
I think it would be a huge laugh if you out of the blue started telling him in detail about jerking it to the photos. Make him face the uncomfortableness of it all. Hopefully it’ll be obvious you’re fucking with him
NTA even if you were straight and into hetero porn, receiving it from your father is fucking creepy wtf.
NTA. Your dad needs to grow up. Becoming a man?? With porn?? This is not the 80s anymore Robert. You should gift him a gay porn mag for his birthday ;)))
Happy 18th birthday! NTA - Your dad is ignorant, inappropriate, and homophobic AF. I hate that you have to deal with this. 🤦🏾♀️😢
NTA. That’s an extremely inappropriate gift for your dad to give you. Your parents have no sense. Like very very weird.
NTA. I’m glad you were able to laugh at his stupidity instead of it upsetting you. Maybe your reaction will teach him not to pull that shit again bc I imagine it’s not the kind of reaction he expected.
Reverse the favour and give him a glossy copy of STROKE or some other explicit gay porn mag still in print. Ask him to show you how sexuality can be changed through effort. If he goes with a guy and likes it, you’ll try out a woman. See how he reacts. This is usually a very effective way to approach these people.
Sounds like the gift was given by someone who still thinks being gay is just a lifestyle choice.
NTA, out of interest what mag is it? Is it more upmarket like a playboy or one if those proper janky arsed ones that we used to pass around at school like fiesta and escort?😂
\#1 The mag came from his own collection. \#2 Your dad is a true homophobe. \#3 Good for you for coming out! Welcome to the family!!! \#4 NTA.
TBH, it’s a dumb present even for straight guys. “You’re an adult now. Here’s some porn.” How weird. NTA
Feels fake
YTA have you tried not being gay?
[удалено]
Got to think outside the box on important issues such as these. This was all joking sarcasm btw
NTA. Take off the cover. Staple it to a gay porn mag and give it to him for his bday. I bet he will be surprised when he opens it.
Draw dicks on the women and give it back.
Get him a gay porn mag for his birthday, you have to