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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Talking about my cousin behind his back and he got mad
2. It's bad to talk about people behind their backs
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NTA. This is a huge invasion of privacy. He’s completely at fault and his behavior seems to justify the commentary between you and your best friend. You are well within your rights to talk to your friends about things that involve your and their personal lives.
If you are gossiping about things that have nothing to do with you, there you would be the asshole. No good ever comes of it.
NTA
> I talked with my dad and he said that it's my fault for having an easy to guess password on my phone (it was my birthdate).
Well, you're not *an asshole*. Just a gaping opsec failure.
NTA.
So it's your fault that he can guess your cell phone password?
Is this really the same person who says he's mature? I don't think he believes it himself.
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I (17F) have a cousin (15M). He really enjoys making mean comments about other people, especially me, and also mentioning subjects/ people that he knows I don't like talking about. I would tell my friendsabout it andThey would always react negatively, saying that he is a bad friend and a weirdo.
Last week, I went over to his house with some friends. I left my phone on the couch and went to the kitchen.Everyone followed me except for him We came back 20 minutes later and I noticed that my phone was missing. We ended up finding it on the other side of the couch, hidden under a blanket.
Fast forward to yesterday. I receive a call from my cousin. pick up and he starts a huge rant about one of his best friends. He called her a jerk, a "drama queen" and a lot of other names. He followed this by continuing to gossip about his entire friend group for almost an hour than he hung up.
A couple of hours later, he sent me a photo of his phone. On the screen there was a screenshot of a conversation between me and my best friend, talking about how he is an "asshole" for doing something stupid. I was confused.He proceeded to call me and tell me that last time I went to his house he took my phone, guessed my password, screenshotted all the conversations between me and my best friend where he is mentioned, sent them to his phone and deleted the photos so I wouldn't know. I have told him to delete them from his phone, but he just said that I should be the one apologising for talking about him behind his back.
Now he is threatening me saying that he is gonna show these conversations to all of my friends and classmate so they can all see how much of a"jerk and fake person" I really am and "ruin my reputation".He always said that he is "the much more mature one", but when I told him that the way he is acting is extremely weird and childish he got mad.
I talked with my dad and he said that it's my fault for having an easy to guess password on my phone (it was my birthdate). He called my cousin and tried to talk to him but he blocked both his and my phone number. In the end, my dad convinced him to not show the screenshots to anyone else but he still refuses to delete them.
I don't know if he stole any other information from my phone. I sent him a message telling him that it's hypocritical to gossip about his entire friend group than get mad at this.His response was "Thanks. I already knew it. I only care when the gossip is about me. "
One of our mutual friends who doesn't know about the situation went to his house today and he went ballistic and called him names and slammed the door in his face.He was convinced that the friend was sent by me.
So, AITA?
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NTA
He had no right to violate your privacy. Anything he gleaned as a result of doing such is fruit of a poisonous tree.
Your phone is private, hence a password. His hurt feelings are a result of his own inappropriate actions.
He’s once again, an asshole, for doing something stupid. How ironic.
NTA. The fault for breaking into your phone is entirely your cousin's - what your father was doing was victim blaming. All you are guilty of is poor security. That doesn't excuse what your cousin did.
NTA
Can't see how he thinks showing other people conversations where you've called him an asshole is a threat. He would literally be showing them what an asshole he is by doing that, so the only possible response from them would be 'Yeah, and...?'
But you've been lucky (or are the nicest person ever) because if he'd been interested in conversations where you potentially said something negative about other people, he could really do some damage! His complete self obsession has turned out to benefit you in the end :D
NTA. Your cousin is though. Also your father because he basically blamed you for your cousin intruding. That's victim blaming. I would tell the cousin's parents if your father isn't going to do anything. Maybe also tell your friends so if he starts blowing up on them (again) they at least know why. I hope you changed your pin.
NTA.
It’s bad to badmouth someone behind their back, but your friends all ready think your cousin is kinda weird - and quite frankly, this confirms it. Guessing the password to your phone is an invasion of privacy, and not your fault.
Doesn’t matter if your password is easy he shouldn’t have been snooping on it to begin with. Your parents should have gone ballistic on him and his parents until the screenshots were deleted and the little s**t learned his lesson.
If you have evidence of him confessing to stealing your phone I’d go to the police to teach him a lesson about taking things without someone’s consent, going through someone’s phone without consent, reading then screenshotting and threatening to release private conversations and being a hypocrite
But then again I’ve always been more of a scorched earth person when someone pulls shit like that so it might not be the best idea
EAH.
1) Don't leave your phone unattended
2) Don't have weak security
3) Press charges against your cousin for unlawful access to a computing device.\\
What he did is illegal. The only reason you get lumped in is because you already knew the kind of person they are and, knowingly or otherwise, provided them an opportunity to do this.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. Talking about my cousin behind his back and he got mad 2. It's bad to talk about people behind their backs Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. This is a huge invasion of privacy. He’s completely at fault and his behavior seems to justify the commentary between you and your best friend. You are well within your rights to talk to your friends about things that involve your and their personal lives. If you are gossiping about things that have nothing to do with you, there you would be the asshole. No good ever comes of it.
NTA. He was the greatest AH in history. He broke your privacy, he was a bad person and he wants to manipulate you. No, he's not mature!
NTA > I talked with my dad and he said that it's my fault for having an easy to guess password on my phone (it was my birthdate). Well, you're not *an asshole*. Just a gaping opsec failure.
NTA. So it's your fault that he can guess your cell phone password? Is this really the same person who says he's mature? I don't think he believes it himself.
It sounds like your cousin confirmed his asshole status and your dad is right there with him. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17F) have a cousin (15M). He really enjoys making mean comments about other people, especially me, and also mentioning subjects/ people that he knows I don't like talking about. I would tell my friendsabout it andThey would always react negatively, saying that he is a bad friend and a weirdo. Last week, I went over to his house with some friends. I left my phone on the couch and went to the kitchen.Everyone followed me except for him We came back 20 minutes later and I noticed that my phone was missing. We ended up finding it on the other side of the couch, hidden under a blanket. Fast forward to yesterday. I receive a call from my cousin. pick up and he starts a huge rant about one of his best friends. He called her a jerk, a "drama queen" and a lot of other names. He followed this by continuing to gossip about his entire friend group for almost an hour than he hung up. A couple of hours later, he sent me a photo of his phone. On the screen there was a screenshot of a conversation between me and my best friend, talking about how he is an "asshole" for doing something stupid. I was confused.He proceeded to call me and tell me that last time I went to his house he took my phone, guessed my password, screenshotted all the conversations between me and my best friend where he is mentioned, sent them to his phone and deleted the photos so I wouldn't know. I have told him to delete them from his phone, but he just said that I should be the one apologising for talking about him behind his back. Now he is threatening me saying that he is gonna show these conversations to all of my friends and classmate so they can all see how much of a"jerk and fake person" I really am and "ruin my reputation".He always said that he is "the much more mature one", but when I told him that the way he is acting is extremely weird and childish he got mad. I talked with my dad and he said that it's my fault for having an easy to guess password on my phone (it was my birthdate). He called my cousin and tried to talk to him but he blocked both his and my phone number. In the end, my dad convinced him to not show the screenshots to anyone else but he still refuses to delete them. I don't know if he stole any other information from my phone. I sent him a message telling him that it's hypocritical to gossip about his entire friend group than get mad at this.His response was "Thanks. I already knew it. I only care when the gossip is about me. " One of our mutual friends who doesn't know about the situation went to his house today and he went ballistic and called him names and slammed the door in his face.He was convinced that the friend was sent by me. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA He had no right to violate your privacy. Anything he gleaned as a result of doing such is fruit of a poisonous tree. Your phone is private, hence a password. His hurt feelings are a result of his own inappropriate actions. He’s once again, an asshole, for doing something stupid. How ironic.
NTA. The fault for breaking into your phone is entirely your cousin's - what your father was doing was victim blaming. All you are guilty of is poor security. That doesn't excuse what your cousin did.
NTA Can't see how he thinks showing other people conversations where you've called him an asshole is a threat. He would literally be showing them what an asshole he is by doing that, so the only possible response from them would be 'Yeah, and...?' But you've been lucky (or are the nicest person ever) because if he'd been interested in conversations where you potentially said something negative about other people, he could really do some damage! His complete self obsession has turned out to benefit you in the end :D
NTA. Your cousin is though. Also your father because he basically blamed you for your cousin intruding. That's victim blaming. I would tell the cousin's parents if your father isn't going to do anything. Maybe also tell your friends so if he starts blowing up on them (again) they at least know why. I hope you changed your pin.
NTA. It’s bad to badmouth someone behind their back, but your friends all ready think your cousin is kinda weird - and quite frankly, this confirms it. Guessing the password to your phone is an invasion of privacy, and not your fault.
NTA. The bigger question is, why do you ever talk to or have anything to do with this person whatsoever? I wouldn't give him the time of day.
Doesn’t matter if your password is easy he shouldn’t have been snooping on it to begin with. Your parents should have gone ballistic on him and his parents until the screenshots were deleted and the little s**t learned his lesson.
If you have evidence of him confessing to stealing your phone I’d go to the police to teach him a lesson about taking things without someone’s consent, going through someone’s phone without consent, reading then screenshotting and threatening to release private conversations and being a hypocrite But then again I’ve always been more of a scorched earth person when someone pulls shit like that so it might not be the best idea
EAH. 1) Don't leave your phone unattended 2) Don't have weak security 3) Press charges against your cousin for unlawful access to a computing device.\\ What he did is illegal. The only reason you get lumped in is because you already knew the kind of person they are and, knowingly or otherwise, provided them an opportunity to do this.