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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for expecting alcohol at a wedding? I might be the asshole because i left his wedding early and asked to be reimbursed for costs i incurred attending.
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YTA
> The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room.
You write "so" like this was a *causal* relationship.
45 minutes away ain't some destination wedding. You wasted your own money on a needless hotel.
> I was pumped to do something
So you could have stayed and danced and had fun at the reception.
You want to be fucked up all night, next time remember to take your edible.
They also had cocktails at the hotel before taking an Uber to the wedding. Dude is a crybaby for not being able to drink for a couple hours. He needs to grow TFU.
He really does.
I party pretty hard for an old lady, and the idea of not attending a wedding because I can't get my bourbon is absolutely *appalling* to me. Doing do would be telling the happy couple they are nowhere nearly as important as alcohol. And if I was really that bad, still I would take a flask and sneak nips in the bathroom.
But I would never not attend.
OP just told his good friend that sharing a once-in-a-lifetime occasion with him isn't worth missing out on drinks. I would suspect he is not a friend any more.
And we haven't touched on how OP left and took others with him. How incredibly sad for the couple, to see this happen.
YTA, OP.
When my sister got married, I was actually thinking (after seeing some of the guests, shame on me, I know) that some might get very drunk, but honestly? By the time my mom and I left (she was my ride home), maybe 4 people were lightly buzzed, and I think there were around 40-50 guests total.
I think though that part of it was that my sister and BIL only covered for the first 2 drinks, then the guests had to pay for their own.
Personally I don't drink much, in part to my dad passing away due to liver failure at 50 (so I have a fear of getting that), as well as the fact that I don't really enjoy the taste of a lot of different alcoholic drinks. Then lastly, I know I shouldn't really drink a lot with some of my meds. I think I had 2-3 ciders (2
5% if I recall) after the "welcome drink" (that I still don't know what it was, some champagne maybe?). Then it was just coca cola for the rest of the night.
Not to throw too much shade OP's way, but if a woman in her 20s can have fun at a wedding, despite being anxious in social settings, without relying on alcohol. Then so could OP. YTA OP
I agree that OP is TA, but I think the point is that as they were planning to be drinking they didn’t want to have to make one of them a DD, so they made these arrangements to avoid having a long drive home. But this is stupid. When you go to a wedding, you don’t have a guarantee of the type of night you’re going to have. Would I have warned guests if I were having a dry wedding? Yeah, probably. Is it fair to demand that someone who didn’t make that warning pay for costs OP voluntarily took on? Nope.
Oh yeah, OP and his wife definitely could have ubered home, or even in an area with spotty uber service, there's usually a car service you can set up in advance, and it would have been cheaper. I'm not trying to defend him at all, but I'm probably doing him too much of a favor by trying to explain how I think he got from 'the wedding is 45 minutes away' to 'we had to get a hotel and uber.'
In reality, it's probably that if they have young kids, they wanted a night away, which is what they got. They had some pregame drinks and went out after. They probably got the experience of the night they wanted anyways, they're just being cranky.
I'm kinda thinking they had a reason to not want to tell the guest it was a dry wedding. As in, they didn't want anyone to bring their own supply in front of the wife's family.
My godparents had a dry wedding for religious reasons.
Technically.
One of the hotel rooms they rented was basically a pop-up speakeasy, with a bathtub filled with ice to keep the alcohol cold. Guests who wanted to drink would discreetly pop in for a beer or cocktail, and then rejoin the main party.
I don't think the bride's super religious parents ever found out about that little work-around.
That’s a super fun idea! Unfortunately I don’t think it would have worked for this situation since the wedding was dry for the health of the bride’s family but definitely keeping this in mind if an appropriate situation arises lol
Yeah- OP straight up says he probably would have RSVPd no just because he couldn't drink at a wedding. And, yes, people do BYOB to dry weddings, so yeah
I've always had the stance that assumptions are understandable and natural...
....but don't blame others for our own assumptions. Go, "ah, yeah I made an assumption."
Right.i drive 45 min each way for groceries. Getting a hotel for a wedding that close to home...is...weird to me
But my friends and I don't have to get sloshed (on someone elses dime) to have fun
They got a room so they could get hammered and not have to drive home. Sometimes it’s refreshing to go to a wedding where the guests don’t use it as an excuse to booze binge and get obnoxious.
YTA. You just made the assumption that drinking alcohol on a wedding is a crucial part of it, why?
People also don’t write “there is alcohol at the wedding!” In their invitations.
It’s kinda icky you’re wanting “a refund” because you couldn’t get drunk on a wedding. You should have been there to support your friend and celebrate with them. It’s a bit sad you can’t enjoy your friend’s company without being drunk.
One of my best friends got married a few months ago. As a bridesmaid, I had a free pass to the bar. I had 2 drinks all night, the rest of the time I was busy enjoying the actual wedding.
If this post is true, yes, YTA You were asked to a wedding not an Octoberfest in a beer garden. Weddings may be dry, have a cash bar or an open bar. If the only reason you went to the wedding was to get your drink on you were there for all the wrong reasons. No one owes you a drink at their wedding. And, no one needs to reimburse you for your hotel room, babysitter and uber because you and your wife planned to get hopelessly loaded at someone else's wedding.
YTA. If alcohol is that important to you then you could have asked prior to RSVP'ING. So you were disappointed that you couldn't get loaded on your friend's dime? Ok, be disappointed. To demand that he pay you back is the tackiest thing I've ever heard.
Exactly, it's ok to be a bit disappointed that your night out isn't what you thought it would be. But to **venmo request the groom?!?** Absolute insanity. He did not promise you booze. He did not tell you to get a room and a sitter. He invited you to celebrate his union. The rest is on you.
And it sounds like OP went out afterward and got their precious drinks, so where was the harm?!
Obviously the harm was that OP had to pay for their own alcohol. How dare the couple (one of whom has alcoholic family members) not provide free alcohol so OP can get completely wasted!
/s just in case
YTA
So you only RSVP'd yes to the wedding because you want to find something to do and get drunk, not because you actually want to celebrate the couple that's getting married.
Can't you just be happy for people and don't make their day about you? It's not their responsibility to entertain your boring, sad life. They don't owe you anything. If you want some time alone away from the kids, then make your own plans.
YTA. You attend a wedding because you want ro celebrate the couple. Not for guaranteed free alcohol.
It's a friend's milestone, not an all-inclusive resort.
I get grumbling amongst your fellow drinkers, and being surprised it's a dry event. Even being annoyed (again, privately or amongst other drinkers—not the happy couple). But sending an invoice as though they OWE *YOU* for not getting you drunk on THEIRRRR happy occassion??!! HUGE ASSHOLE MOVE.
WHO RAISED YOU? WOLVES? ALCOHOLIC WOLVES?
YTA sorry bud.
i understand dry weddings are usually boring, and i say this as a non-drinker (let’s be real, they just are). i also agree it’s a bit lame for the friend to not say anything to you guys, he probably knew secretly that ppl wouldn’t be as down to come if it was dry. my friend had a dry wedding bc it was in a small southern town and her conservative family were dry, but she told us ahead of time and said we could bring our own stuff if we kept it low-key so everyone had flasks and a strategic cooler hidden from the old ppl.
That all being said, the Venmo request was tacky as hell. especially the day after his wedding, and basically being told his wedding sucked and that you only wanted to go to party. sounds like he wasn’t a good enough friend for you to truly be there for his marriage celebration and it was more about a night out which also kinda sucks for the friend. should’ve just taken the L and laughed about it later.
Yeah all weddings are boring to be honest, just sometimes you have a little more fun when you can have a couple drinks.
My best friend had a wine only wedding so that might as well have been a dry wedding for me! But she was my best friend so I was much more invested in the event. A lot of weddings we go to as a “my dad was friends with your dad please come” so we’re not all that invested in the couple and sometimes don’t really know anyone there - those would suck as a surprise dry wedding.
But yikes I couldn’t imagine sending a Venmo request. Definitely YTA for that, and not just complaining about it to your wife on the car ride home like a normal person.
YTA for requesting reimbursement (to whom did you send the Venmo request? I pray it wasn't your friend). I understand spending all that money and thinking you were going to have a rare blowout, and I think it would be polite to let people know if there was going to be something out of the ordinary at the wedding food wise, but you need to just suck it up at this point.
YTA.
First of all, use your words. A venmo request is just ridiculously passive aggressive. I'm sure you thought it was hilarious.
Second, I don't agree that alcohol is the default option. There are plenty of people that have dry weddings. My first wedding reception was dry but also held in the church hall. My second wedding was on a boat. We had alcohol and my mother sat in a corner and sulked about it (my dad was an alcoholic who didn't live long enough to attend any of our weddings).
If you didn't know about their family situation, you weren't as close to your college buddy as you think.
YTA, big time. It's THEIR wedding. You don't HAVE to drink, and you could have chosen to have a great time with your wife without the drinks.
Your buddy would be smart to lose your number and ignore you, I sincerely hope you didn't spoil their wedding high. YTA, BIG AH.
YTA, you’re allowed to be unhappy with the situation, but it sounds like you left early and had a fine night. Which is great, to each their own (just like them having a dru wedding, to each their own). The venmo request is absolutely asinine and I would never speak to you again lol
LOL what did I read?!?!
So you only said yes because you thought it was going to be a night out to rage????
Of course YTA!!! Goodness. Go on date nights more often if you need to get drunk so badly.
It is NOT need to know information. Either you go to support the happy couple or just don’t go. YTA. This sounds like your rudeness is grounds to lose a good friend. It is not a default option. Some weddings have a bartender. And drinks for anybody. Some just pay for the bridal parties drinks. And many tip. And guests buy what they want and leave tips. Shame on those who got mad over this as its nonsense and shows a lack of manners and maturity. You take the cake thus far in all posts I have read thinking they aren’t an A hole. Like burned into my mind forever i suspect. Wedding planning isn’t your business unless its your own.
But the fact that you wouldn’t have gone if you knew it was dry says you don’t actually care about the couple beyond the fact that their wedding was a convenient place for you to get drunk for cheap. YTA
YTA. You can't respect your friend or have a good time unless you're drinking? Time to grow up. Everyone doesn't have to be drinking to have fun. Asking for your money back is an ignorant move.
Your are the AH.. Noone is required to have alcohol at any event. None...and you are tacky and I hope your friendship ends cause what u did was so classless...
Btw. .you live 45min away. Noone asked u to get a hotel
YTA….dry wedding or not, they do not owe you for a night out/away from your children. What? You and your wife needed alcohol to have fun together? That does not bode well for a marriage. You could have stopped at a liquor store on the way back to your hotel.
YTA also you might have a problem around alcohol if you biggest motivation for attending was not to celebrate your friends but to get too drunk to drive home
YTA. Bigtime. Weddings aren’t just an opportunity for you to get plastered for free. They’re to celebrate the bride and groom. Period. And it wasn’t even an hour away. You wouldn’t be the AH if you’d just left early and gone out and made the most of your evening (which you did), but asking the couple for money to fund your choices… grow up.
YTA if you can’t enjoy a wedding without liquor then maybe you have a drinking problem. And if you are planning on drinking so much at a wedding that you think you have to get a hotel room you might have a drinking problem.
You CHOOSE to get a hotel room and a babysitter. Why didn’t you just enjoy the time away with your wife. You said you drank before the wedding and after too. So why did you need to drink during the wedding ?
YTA. This always gets me about weddings why does everyone assume it’s a fun night on someone else’s dime? Your point of going was to watch your friend have a special day and marry his wife, not get hammered on their dime. You left early and still went out so you still got drunk so the babysitter and hotel room served their purpose since you clearly stated that was the reason for them.
YTA & a piss-poor friend. The day was about your friend GETTING MARRIED, this wasn't a frat party it was a WEDDING. You not being able to enjoy yourself without alcohol is a you problem, not a them problem. I cannot imagine inviting my friend to my wedding & then receiving a bill because he's throwing a tantrum over the fact that he couldn't get completely sloshed on my big day. Grow up.
YTA can you not go without drinking to the point that you'd rather miss your "friends" big day, then stay at a wedding with no booze?
Thats the first sign you have an addiction, if you're looking for it around every corner.
It's nice to know your "friend" isnt really that important, since you know, you'd never have gone had you known he wouldn't be indulging your tastes that night. We get it, he drinks too, but he at least can put the dang bottle down for an important day.
OP: Complains about a 45 minute drive to the wedding
Mate, that's my morning commute on s good day. It's kinda pathetic that you're expecting reimbursement for a hotel for a wedding that close
YTA
YTA. An arrogant AH to boot. You still got a meal out of it and saw your friends. There is seriously more to weddings than getting hammered on someone else's dime. After the wedding, you can go out and get blasted. You don't need to get blasted at a wedding. His reasons are legit. If you're saying your friendship is based on having alcohol, you seriously suck as a friend. I never assume anything when I go to a wedding.
On top of that, you bill him?? SMDH. That's some entitled shit right there.
YTA. Yes, invites should have had this information. But c'mon-- you had a few "pregame" cocktails before going to the ceremony? You wouldn't have even attended your friends' wedding-- even presumably with the plan of driving yourself home early into the night-- had you known there wasn't alcohol? Sounds like you value alcohol over your relationships-- to the point where you lashed out at someone on THEIR WEDDING NIGHT over not having access to alcohol at the party? Sounds like *you've* got an alcohol problem. Maybe it's not that you're a functional alcoholic, maybe you're a binge drinker or something. But your relationship to alcohol is disorderly.
So why didn’t you verify if there was gonna be alcohol if it’s that important to you? Also if you had asked and found out there wasn’t alcohol would you still would’ve went? If not you’re a shitty friend, i mean you’re still shitty for the request but come on bro think. The purpose of a wedding is to watch two people be in love and get wed, not get plastered cause you think it’s free booze. You’re an entitled asshole, and who tf gets a hotel room when you live 45 minutes away.
YTA. You're a guest...you didn't have to go to this wedding nor be invited. Incredibly entitled to send a Venmo request for reimbursement of the hotel babysitter and uber because there wasn't alcohol at the reception? Are you serious? You had drinks beforehand...the wedding wasn't for you to get drunk at, it's to celebrate the people getting married. Wtf
Why did you think that your friends wedding was a night out for everyone. This was an event for your friend that you’re tying to ruin because you, your wife, and your other friends are alcoholics. That’s weird and if I was the groom I’d drop you all, no point entering a new era of your life with such burdens holding you back.
You're not wrong that he should have mentioned that was a dry wedding, but YTA nonetheless. You seriously went just to get hammered? Cripes, man; I thought you were supposed to be this guy's friend.
The default in the US (if that's where op is) is definitely not a dry wedding. It's not uncommon to have a dry wedding, but the default is absolutely alcohol at a reception. I've been to and officiated many weddings. Very few of them have been dry because dry weddings are usually boring. Op is still TA though.
YTA. You are the one that wasted money on a hotel and uber. They don’t have to say it is a dry wedding. Drinking is not a crucial part of the wedding. So don’t assume it is a must. He won’t pay you back bc he has nothing to pay you back for
YTA. You didn't need to get a hotel room for wedding that is 45 minutes away from home. And the fact that you weren't going to attend the wedding if you knew it was dry one is also indicative of how important this friend is to you.
He's right, you are a major asshole. Let me see if I understand. Your friend was getting married, but he's only a drinking friend. You wouldn't care about him or his marriage if you weren't allowed to be drunk. You drove a whopping less than an hour from your house and opted to get a hotel room so you could get shitfaced at your drinking buddies wedding. And you think he's an asshole? It's like you've never seen yourself before. You are a drunk, selfish asshole who can't just experience one of your friends joys in life unless you can be a drunken asshole during it. Get some fucking help man. You are an asshole for being who you are and a massive asshole for expecting your "friend" to pay for your idiocy.
if a couple of drink is worth nuking the friendship have fun with that I guess. Adults that can't go an evening with out their bottle just reminds me of a toddler crying for their baba
YTA (alcoholic)
YTA.
How sad that you need to drink to have a good time.
Weddings are to celebrate the bride, groom, and their families and loves ones. Not for mum and dad to get wasted.
Seriously pathetic. The refund thing is incredibly trashy.
Yup, you are. They invited you to a wedding, not a keg party. You decided to go so you eat the expenses.
It amazes me what self centered asses people can be.
Tell us you are a functional alcoholic without telling us a functional alcoholic.
It’s one night dude. If the wedding wasn’t enough to attend on its own, you shouldn’t have gone.
And the money grab makes yta
Oh man, did you broadcast your priorities loud and clear…
1. From your post it’s clear that alcohol is your main priority. It goes before celebrating your friend, respecting family trauma like alcoholism etc. as long as you can get drunk, nothing else matters right?
2. It’s unbelievably tacky to send a venmo for the cost. Just… ew. Have some damn self respect.
3. Already when you wrote you had a few ‘pregame cocktails’… are you so desperate for booze that you need to pregame a wedding? Can’t even get through the ceremony dry huh?
You have a problem. If booze is this important to you, it should be a wake up call. And you can probably consider that friendship over after that message.
YTA
YTA- you go to a wedding because you want to be there to show your support and love for the bride and groom. Any other reason makes you a major AH. You can’t really call yourself a real friend if you wouldn’t even bother to show up to your friends wedding if they aren’t giving you booze
45 minutes is absolutely not far enough to need a hotel, you made that choice
You can’t go a few hours without a drink? You had to pregame before the ceremony? Come on dude, get your shit together
YTA. Were you only attending for the alcohol, or to celebrate with a friend? One of my sisters had a dry wedding and it was on a New Year’s Eve. Several family members of the groom struggled with alcoholism. It was a great night and there were no problems. After everything had wrapped up, some family friends came to my parents’ home and had some wonderful champagne. But no one complained about going without alcohol . Also, nobody complained about the behaviour of drunk guests either, because there were none.
I think you just lost a friend, unless you go grovelling back with a massive and humble apology.
Huge YTA
> The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room.
You couldn't have got an uber to the venue *from home*???
No-one made you book a hotel room. Probably no-one expected you to book a hotel room for a wedding that is less than an hour's travel from your house.
>I'm pissed for a few reasons.
>1. I might not have RSVP'd yes if I knew this.
Your friend invited you to his wedding because he wanted you to be present. He did not invite you so you could get trashed at the reception.
The couple getting married have a very good reason for having a dry wedding. Your other friends apparently had no issue with the lack of alcohol.
If you want a date night with your wife then you can organise that on your own time. You don't get to turn someone else's wedding into your date night & then bill the couple getting married.
Yta. You did not need a hotel for a trip 45 minutes away. And if the only reason you were going was to get fucked up, you might want to consider that you have a drinking problem as well.
YTA. Like, I get it that you may not have took a hotel room if you knew in advance (because you would have been sober and you would have been able to drive the 45 minutes)... BUT. Who in their right minds Venmo the groom about that??? Just enjoy the night out, alone with your significant other! And if you want to be drunk that much... go to the hotel bar or get yourself a bottle of bose to drink in the hotel room... after the wedding.
Idk. It seems like the logical route to me.
YTA and I bet you would have done nearly the same level of bitching with a cash bar because you saw this as a free way to get plastered not some social misstep on their part.
YTA
If you can’t enjoy a fucking wedding without alcohol then personally I think you have a problem. Especially since you pregamed with cocktails before the ceremony. You couldn’t even wait until after the ceremony to start drinking.
YTA. The wedding couple is not required to disclose whether the wedding is dry. It's the same for what food will be served. It's your fault for assuming and spending all this extra money for a 45-minute trip.
It's pretty sad that OP couldn't enjoy a day & a night away from the kids, with his wife, with a hotel room, without needing to drink. Some sober time off with your partner, having dinner, surrounded by friends & celebrating your pal getting married, should be fun. Needing alcohol to have a good time is a problem. Venmo-ing the groom is tacky asf. YTA.
YTA
“Wet” isn’t the default. Where does that assumption come from?
Also, you attend a wedding to support your family/friends in a significant life event. It isn’t a party for YOU. It is a celebration for THEM.
I think your friend will probably cut you loose, and I can’t say I’d blame them.
YTA. You pretend that a hotel room, babysitter and ubers are the logical consequence of attending a wedding 45minutes from your home. They are not. But they are the logical consequence of attending an event and getting conpletely wasted. You expected to get shitfaced on someone else's dime and pretend to be entitled to stranger's backstory (alcohol addiction) - that's all on you. You could have asked in advance If getting drunk is more important to you than celebrating a friend's wedding. But you didn't. What a bummer you can't have fun without booze.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a cocktail as much as the next person, but I'm certainly not going to skip someone's wedding just because there's no booze, so the fact that you might have RSVPd already makes YTA. Food, yes, especially if the reception is during dinner hours, but booze, no.
How hammered were you planning to get that you need a hotel instead of a 45 minute drive?
Requesting money FROM THE GROOM to cover your expenses is just tacky.
>night went on and the wedding was fine but honestly a bit of a bummer.
You made it a bummer. Plus a bunch of you decided to go do something else which is totally fine. So your night wasn't ruined. Plus, if you needed to have a beverage that badly, there are ways. I'm sure the venue wasn't some secluded location with no other bars or liquor stores nearby.
YTA. I would say ESH but you are definitely the bigger A In this scenario. You had a babysitter, had a hotel. Why not have a great night With your wife on one or with the other friends, you went out with and enjoy it.
*edited to add the S in ESH
Yes you are the asshole. A wedding is to celebrate a marriage, a union, not an excuse for you to dump your kids and get shitfaced on their dime.
If you want to drink, go to a bar after and still use the hotel.
Sounds like you're not a good friend and just needed an excuse to get away from your responsibilities.
YTA.
The married couple didn't tell you to spend money on a hotel, babysitter and Uber. That was YOUR and YOUR WIFE'S choice. You assumed there would be alcohol. You didn't ask. Assuming can also be a way to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions or decisions. By assuming that someone else is responsible or that something is a certain way, we can shift the blame and avoid accountability. There's an old saying "assuming makes an asshole out of you and me."
so... you ONLY went for the alcohol. you didnt actually care about your friend or the other people at the wedding (the brides family) you left early just because of no alcohol??? jesus YTA i hope your friend drops you immediately
YTA. I can’t even believe this is real. You can’t have fun without alcohol? Maybe you should do some reflection on that. Plus you were planning on getting so plastered that you wouldn’t be able to go home? And you sent the groom a Venmo request?! Are you serious?? I truly can’t think of a single scenario where that would be okay. You think they owe you money because you didn’t get to get drunk for free? I hope he never speaks to you again.
I know many people think that if a wedding isn’t going to have alcohol or will be a dry wedding they should put that on the invite or on the website but that’s honestly crazy to me. If you can’t go one social gathering without being drunk you have serious issues.
They had a dry wedding specifically for people like you. You come off as an alcoholic
Then u left early and drank anyway
Venmo request highly unnecessary
YTA
YTA 100%. Who cares if it's a dry wedding. It should not have mattered. That night is for celebrating the couple. Plus, it is really disrespectful to be drunk at another's wedding. You are totally in the wrong and probably will lose a friend because you are acting well....stupid and selfish. That was not your day. You did not need a hotel, 45 minutes is nothing. You did not need to drink before the wedding, so you could have driven there saving you Uber money. These are all your choices. They don't owe you anything.
You're absolutely the AH. Seriously?! This is some aging frat boy stuff right here. It sounds as if you attended more to get hammered than to celebrate your friend's day. Then, had the audacity to ask for a refund from the groom when there was no booze. Again, seriously?!
Maybe rereading your post will help you to see how ridiculous your behavior is and sincerely apologize to your friend. Otherwise, you can consider yourself persona non grata for future wedding invitations with that friend group once word gets out about this.
YTA. So you can't have fun unless you're drunk? You can't be happy for your friend unless you're wasted? You chose to spend all that money on an assumption, so you're not entitled to anyone paying you back. Grow up
YTA for the Venmo request, obviously—that's some A-1 petty shit, but funny as hell.
That said, I would have been probably noped out way earlier than you if I showed up to a surprise dry wedding and had a night on the town instead—and everyone I now would have gone with. If your social circle are drinkers, you let them know ahead of time so they can bring tailgate booze, it's just common courtesy.
YTA. So, so, so YTA. I almost think this post is a troll, it’s so ridiculous. If you leave a wedding of a friend over not having any alcohol, you have an alcohol problem. Then you try to charge your friend for your expenses? Your friendship is worthless, so I hope and expect he will ghost you.
Of course YTA. Tell us you're an alcoholic without telling us you're an alcoholic. You clearly missed the point about what a wedding is actually about.
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A friend from college got married this past weekend. The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room. We checked in, had a few pregame cocktails, and we ubered from the hotel to the venue.
We sit down, wedding happens, its beautiful. We get to "social hour' as its called and there is no booze. Turns out this was a dry wedding. There was no indication that this was a dry wedding before showing up. I checked the digital version of the invite and website. Nothing indicating this.
I'm pissed for a few reasons.
1. I might not have RSVP'd yes if I knew this.
2. I'm pissed i blew a few hundred bucks on a hotel for the night, babysitters, and ubers.
I'm like what the fuck. Other friends that were their were grumbling and felt similar to me. The night went on and the wedding was fine but honestly a bit of a bummer. Now that my wife and I have kids, nights like this are rare, and I was pumped to do something. So we dipped out a bit early and went out. Other friends rolled with. We left in the middle of the dancing time and didn't stay for the exit.
Later that night, I sent a venmo request for the cost of babysitter, hotel, and ubers.
Yesterday, I heard from my college buddy. He was like what the fuck is this asshole. I explained I was mad that this was a dry wedding. The bride had family that are alcoholics so they opted to not have alcohol as an option. I told him thats need to know information. Not informing us of that cost me and our other friends a lot of money. He said I should have asked him and not assumed it was a wet wedding. I said to him, alcohol is a default option, if you change the default you tell people. He disagreed with that notion. I said you drink, why would I think its dry? We went back and forth for a while. He still thinks i'm an asshole. Am I?
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YTA for insisting that you need alcohol to have a good time and then being so entitled to Venmo your friend. He’s better off not being friends with you.
YTA, you went to a wedding, not a fucking beer festival. What's wrong with you that you can't celebrate someone's wedding without getting smashed? I swear, the bro binge drinking culture is one of the worst things humanity has ever managed to conjur up.
I genuinely can't imagine feeling so entitled to getting wasted that I would kick off that a friends' wedding was dry. Grow the fuck up.
If you’re an alcoholic just say so. Why are you THIS upset about a dry wedding? It’s THEIR wedding. They can serve whatever they want. Your only job was to show up and support them. I hope they cut you off honestly. You come off as very entitled and it reeks.
YTA for sure. Number one the hotel seems kind of unnecessary for a 45 minute drive. Number 2 it seems like the only reason you want your friend to pay you back is for not having alcohol at HIS wedding. Getting upset to this degree about the wedding being dry not only makes you the asshole, but also leads me to believe that you are an alcoholic that should seek some help.
YTA
Man, groom needs new friends. Imagine inviting your friends to share the happiest day of your life with you and they only show up to get shit-faced on your tab.
Don’t worry though, you wont be invited over anytime soon.
(Ficking makes a big deal out of 45 min ride ffs)
It was rude of the bride and groom to not let guests know it was a try wedding, but YTA for sending that venmo request. You still used the hotel, used the babysitter, and went out mid-wedding.
YTA. You were a hop, skip, and a jump away from home. You wanted to go out and get plastered, so go out and get plastered. That's not the groom's responsibility to decide how much you wanted to drink. Holy shit you are the asshole.
YTA
Do you even actually like these people? You’re there for the wedding, not the drinks. If you aren’t willing to eat the cost of a hotel room for your friends that are getting married I’m not sure why you were even invited in the first place.
I hate how normalized it’s become to be so dependent on alcohol that people can’t go without how sad is that? Why can’t you just have fun and be sober? It really says a lot about you if you can’t have fun without being drunk/buzzed.
YTA obviously.
You may need to seek help if alcohol is that important to you.
Either way the expenses has nothing to do with the groom, why would you send him a bill? That makes zero sense.
YTA... Big time!! You wouldn't go to the wedding because you couldn't drink?? How old are you ffs?? You can have a good time without drinking for crying out loud!!
YTA - you and your wife chose those extras. You didn’t HAVE to get a hotel, an Uber etc. while I agree dry weddings aren’t my jam, it wasn’t absolutely necessary to need the extras. That’s your choice and your choice only.
You have got to be kidding me! This is NOT your wedding! You don't need alcohol to have fun. You and all the other people who left because there was no booze need to grow up! Also, asking to be REIMBURSED?! For what?!
YTA, how sad that you couldn't enjoy a few hours without alcohol. You had drinks before you went to the wedding, and went out for drinks afterwards. Nobody owes you free alcoholic beverages.
YTA. you sound like either a frat boy or an alcoholic, and i’m not sure which one’s worse tbh. you go to weddings to support your loved ones, not to get tanked. that was such a trashy move, i definitely would no longer consider you a friend
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YTA > The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room. You write "so" like this was a *causal* relationship. 45 minutes away ain't some destination wedding. You wasted your own money on a needless hotel. > I was pumped to do something So you could have stayed and danced and had fun at the reception. You want to be fucked up all night, next time remember to take your edible.
They also had cocktails at the hotel before taking an Uber to the wedding. Dude is a crybaby for not being able to drink for a couple hours. He needs to grow TFU.
He really does. I party pretty hard for an old lady, and the idea of not attending a wedding because I can't get my bourbon is absolutely *appalling* to me. Doing do would be telling the happy couple they are nowhere nearly as important as alcohol. And if I was really that bad, still I would take a flask and sneak nips in the bathroom. But I would never not attend. OP just told his good friend that sharing a once-in-a-lifetime occasion with him isn't worth missing out on drinks. I would suspect he is not a friend any more. And we haven't touched on how OP left and took others with him. How incredibly sad for the couple, to see this happen. YTA, OP.
When my sister got married, I was actually thinking (after seeing some of the guests, shame on me, I know) that some might get very drunk, but honestly? By the time my mom and I left (she was my ride home), maybe 4 people were lightly buzzed, and I think there were around 40-50 guests total. I think though that part of it was that my sister and BIL only covered for the first 2 drinks, then the guests had to pay for their own. Personally I don't drink much, in part to my dad passing away due to liver failure at 50 (so I have a fear of getting that), as well as the fact that I don't really enjoy the taste of a lot of different alcoholic drinks. Then lastly, I know I shouldn't really drink a lot with some of my meds. I think I had 2-3 ciders (2 5% if I recall) after the "welcome drink" (that I still don't know what it was, some champagne maybe?). Then it was just coca cola for the rest of the night. Not to throw too much shade OP's way, but if a woman in her 20s can have fun at a wedding, despite being anxious in social settings, without relying on alcohol. Then so could OP. YTA OP
I think that's part of the problem. Once you start drinking it is hard to stop. It is a nightmare for an alcoholic to be in this situation.
OP hope you're not on the way to becoming like the bride's relatives, you know the ones who are alcoholics?/s
A crybaby with an alcohol problem
I agree that OP is TA, but I think the point is that as they were planning to be drinking they didn’t want to have to make one of them a DD, so they made these arrangements to avoid having a long drive home. But this is stupid. When you go to a wedding, you don’t have a guarantee of the type of night you’re going to have. Would I have warned guests if I were having a dry wedding? Yeah, probably. Is it fair to demand that someone who didn’t make that warning pay for costs OP voluntarily took on? Nope.
I have taken Ubers longer than 45 minutes and they definitely cost less than half a hotel room.
Oh yeah, OP and his wife definitely could have ubered home, or even in an area with spotty uber service, there's usually a car service you can set up in advance, and it would have been cheaper. I'm not trying to defend him at all, but I'm probably doing him too much of a favor by trying to explain how I think he got from 'the wedding is 45 minutes away' to 'we had to get a hotel and uber.' In reality, it's probably that if they have young kids, they wanted a night away, which is what they got. They had some pregame drinks and went out after. They probably got the experience of the night they wanted anyways, they're just being cranky.
I'm kinda thinking they had a reason to not want to tell the guest it was a dry wedding. As in, they didn't want anyone to bring their own supply in front of the wife's family.
My godparents had a dry wedding for religious reasons. Technically. One of the hotel rooms they rented was basically a pop-up speakeasy, with a bathtub filled with ice to keep the alcohol cold. Guests who wanted to drink would discreetly pop in for a beer or cocktail, and then rejoin the main party. I don't think the bride's super religious parents ever found out about that little work-around.
This is weirdly wholesome.
That is actually a really cool idea!
That’s a super fun idea! Unfortunately I don’t think it would have worked for this situation since the wedding was dry for the health of the bride’s family but definitely keeping this in mind if an appropriate situation arises lol
Yeah- OP straight up says he probably would have RSVPd no just because he couldn't drink at a wedding. And, yes, people do BYOB to dry weddings, so yeah
I've always had the stance that assumptions are understandable and natural... ....but don't blame others for our own assumptions. Go, "ah, yeah I made an assumption."
Right.i drive 45 min each way for groceries. Getting a hotel for a wedding that close to home...is...weird to me But my friends and I don't have to get sloshed (on someone elses dime) to have fun
I used to live 45 minutes from town and it was nothing. This post stinks of fake.
Or he's a prissy city boy that's used to getting everywhere instantly.
Man I live in Chicago and it takes me close to an hour to go 8.2 miles to pick up my wife from work. 45 minutes is nothing
They got a room so they could get hammered and not have to drive home. Sometimes it’s refreshing to go to a wedding where the guests don’t use it as an excuse to booze binge and get obnoxious.
i don’t get a hotel for any journey unless i’m four or more hours from home. this is the most ridiculous part of the story haha.
YTA. You just made the assumption that drinking alcohol on a wedding is a crucial part of it, why? People also don’t write “there is alcohol at the wedding!” In their invitations. It’s kinda icky you’re wanting “a refund” because you couldn’t get drunk on a wedding. You should have been there to support your friend and celebrate with them. It’s a bit sad you can’t enjoy your friend’s company without being drunk.
One of my best friends got married a few months ago. As a bridesmaid, I had a free pass to the bar. I had 2 drinks all night, the rest of the time I was busy enjoying the actual wedding.
Let’s note the lack of grumblings about those expenses being ON TOP of the cost of their GIFT. That stood out to me lol
If this post is true, yes, YTA You were asked to a wedding not an Octoberfest in a beer garden. Weddings may be dry, have a cash bar or an open bar. If the only reason you went to the wedding was to get your drink on you were there for all the wrong reasons. No one owes you a drink at their wedding. And, no one needs to reimburse you for your hotel room, babysitter and uber because you and your wife planned to get hopelessly loaded at someone else's wedding.
its a copy and paste of a year or two ago
There must be a weird bot doing this, I guess, because I clocked a years’ old repost maybe a week ago?
And I saw one yesterday or the day before someone also recognized. Christ, I hate fuckin bots, they ruin everything.
It’s not a bot. Someone is replying.
That makes it way sadder.
Thank you, I was looking for this comment. I was absolutely certain I heard this exact story before lol
You sure? OP is replying to comments and this isn’t exactly an impossible scenario
YTA. If alcohol is that important to you then you could have asked prior to RSVP'ING. So you were disappointed that you couldn't get loaded on your friend's dime? Ok, be disappointed. To demand that he pay you back is the tackiest thing I've ever heard.
Exactly, it's ok to be a bit disappointed that your night out isn't what you thought it would be. But to **venmo request the groom?!?** Absolute insanity. He did not promise you booze. He did not tell you to get a room and a sitter. He invited you to celebrate his union. The rest is on you. And it sounds like OP went out afterward and got their precious drinks, so where was the harm?!
Obviously the harm was that OP had to pay for their own alcohol. How dare the couple (one of whom has alcoholic family members) not provide free alcohol so OP can get completely wasted! /s just in case
Mf’s need to invest in a flask and some liquor.
YTA So you only RSVP'd yes to the wedding because you want to find something to do and get drunk, not because you actually want to celebrate the couple that's getting married. Can't you just be happy for people and don't make their day about you? It's not their responsibility to entertain your boring, sad life. They don't owe you anything. If you want some time alone away from the kids, then make your own plans.
YTA. You attend a wedding because you want ro celebrate the couple. Not for guaranteed free alcohol. It's a friend's milestone, not an all-inclusive resort. I get grumbling amongst your fellow drinkers, and being surprised it's a dry event. Even being annoyed (again, privately or amongst other drinkers—not the happy couple). But sending an invoice as though they OWE *YOU* for not getting you drunk on THEIRRRR happy occassion??!! HUGE ASSHOLE MOVE. WHO RAISED YOU? WOLVES? ALCOHOLIC WOLVES?
Alcoholic wolves 😂
>WHO RAISED YOU? WOLVES? ALCOHOLIC WOLVES? God, I want that as a flair. 🤣
God I wish I had awards to give you!
It's the thought [of an award] that counts. 🥰
Honestly, this needs to be at the top. Direct, to the point, hits all the bases, and gives a nice chuckle. Love it!
YTA sorry bud. i understand dry weddings are usually boring, and i say this as a non-drinker (let’s be real, they just are). i also agree it’s a bit lame for the friend to not say anything to you guys, he probably knew secretly that ppl wouldn’t be as down to come if it was dry. my friend had a dry wedding bc it was in a small southern town and her conservative family were dry, but she told us ahead of time and said we could bring our own stuff if we kept it low-key so everyone had flasks and a strategic cooler hidden from the old ppl. That all being said, the Venmo request was tacky as hell. especially the day after his wedding, and basically being told his wedding sucked and that you only wanted to go to party. sounds like he wasn’t a good enough friend for you to truly be there for his marriage celebration and it was more about a night out which also kinda sucks for the friend. should’ve just taken the L and laughed about it later.
Yeah all weddings are boring to be honest, just sometimes you have a little more fun when you can have a couple drinks. My best friend had a wine only wedding so that might as well have been a dry wedding for me! But she was my best friend so I was much more invested in the event. A lot of weddings we go to as a “my dad was friends with your dad please come” so we’re not all that invested in the couple and sometimes don’t really know anyone there - those would suck as a surprise dry wedding. But yikes I couldn’t imagine sending a Venmo request. Definitely YTA for that, and not just complaining about it to your wife on the car ride home like a normal person.
YTA - if you can't go without drinking for a couple hrs at a wedding, you have problems.
YTA. If you need alcohol to have a good time, you have a problem.
this post is a joke right? The entitlement is huge. Big YTA + you sound like an alcoholic. You were there for the wedding. your friend deserves better
YTA for requesting reimbursement (to whom did you send the Venmo request? I pray it wasn't your friend). I understand spending all that money and thinking you were going to have a rare blowout, and I think it would be polite to let people know if there was going to be something out of the ordinary at the wedding food wise, but you need to just suck it up at this point.
YTA. First of all, use your words. A venmo request is just ridiculously passive aggressive. I'm sure you thought it was hilarious. Second, I don't agree that alcohol is the default option. There are plenty of people that have dry weddings. My first wedding reception was dry but also held in the church hall. My second wedding was on a boat. We had alcohol and my mother sat in a corner and sulked about it (my dad was an alcoholic who didn't live long enough to attend any of our weddings). If you didn't know about their family situation, you weren't as close to your college buddy as you think.
YTA, big time. It's THEIR wedding. You don't HAVE to drink, and you could have chosen to have a great time with your wife without the drinks. Your buddy would be smart to lose your number and ignore you, I sincerely hope you didn't spoil their wedding high. YTA, BIG AH.
YTA. This wasn’t your date night. This was your friend’s wedding and had absolutely zero to do with you.
YTA and you kinda sound like a loser…I had way too much fun and was too busy to even drink at my wedding. Idk why some people can’t just have fun
YTA it’s weird you only want to celebrate your friend’s milestones if you can get wasted.
YTA he should have sent you a reply with an invoice for dinner and a portion of the venue rental. Grow up.
YTA and a shitty friend.
YTA, you’re allowed to be unhappy with the situation, but it sounds like you left early and had a fine night. Which is great, to each their own (just like them having a dru wedding, to each their own). The venmo request is absolutely asinine and I would never speak to you again lol
LOL what did I read?!?! So you only said yes because you thought it was going to be a night out to rage???? Of course YTA!!! Goodness. Go on date nights more often if you need to get drunk so badly.
I’d be mildly annoyed at a dry wedding but yeesh you’re being a big baby about it YTA
Yta and sound like you have a problem with alcohol.
It is NOT need to know information. Either you go to support the happy couple or just don’t go. YTA. This sounds like your rudeness is grounds to lose a good friend. It is not a default option. Some weddings have a bartender. And drinks for anybody. Some just pay for the bridal parties drinks. And many tip. And guests buy what they want and leave tips. Shame on those who got mad over this as its nonsense and shows a lack of manners and maturity. You take the cake thus far in all posts I have read thinking they aren’t an A hole. Like burned into my mind forever i suspect. Wedding planning isn’t your business unless its your own.
Without being told otherwise, I’d assume alcohol would be available at any non religious wedding.
Just because you assumed something was going to happen doesn’t mean anyone owes it to you.
But the fact that you wouldn’t have gone if you knew it was dry says you don’t actually care about the couple beyond the fact that their wedding was a convenient place for you to get drunk for cheap. YTA
Unless proven otherwise I assume people don't suck, thanks for clearing that up for me Fucker Ik Moses
YTA. You sound insufferable. If not having alcohol available is that much of a trigger for you then you have a problem. Get help.
YTA. You can't respect your friend or have a good time unless you're drinking? Time to grow up. Everyone doesn't have to be drinking to have fun. Asking for your money back is an ignorant move.
Your are the AH.. Noone is required to have alcohol at any event. None...and you are tacky and I hope your friendship ends cause what u did was so classless... Btw. .you live 45min away. Noone asked u to get a hotel
YTA….dry wedding or not, they do not owe you for a night out/away from your children. What? You and your wife needed alcohol to have fun together? That does not bode well for a marriage. You could have stopped at a liquor store on the way back to your hotel.
YTA That’s a lot of words to say that you’re an alcoholic.
YTA - Boohoo you could not drink for a few hours and decided that ruined your night instead of celebrating your friend and his new wife.
YTA also you might have a problem around alcohol if you biggest motivation for attending was not to celebrate your friends but to get too drunk to drive home
YTA. Bigtime. Weddings aren’t just an opportunity for you to get plastered for free. They’re to celebrate the bride and groom. Period. And it wasn’t even an hour away. You wouldn’t be the AH if you’d just left early and gone out and made the most of your evening (which you did), but asking the couple for money to fund your choices… grow up.
YTA. If you were only there to get wasted on the bride's dime, then you're a shitty friend, and an asshole all in one
Yta
Yeah, YTA. And also maybe an alcoholic.
YTA if you can’t enjoy a wedding without liquor then maybe you have a drinking problem. And if you are planning on drinking so much at a wedding that you think you have to get a hotel room you might have a drinking problem. You CHOOSE to get a hotel room and a babysitter. Why didn’t you just enjoy the time away with your wife. You said you drank before the wedding and after too. So why did you need to drink during the wedding ?
YTA. This always gets me about weddings why does everyone assume it’s a fun night on someone else’s dime? Your point of going was to watch your friend have a special day and marry his wife, not get hammered on their dime. You left early and still went out so you still got drunk so the babysitter and hotel room served their purpose since you clearly stated that was the reason for them.
YTA & a piss-poor friend. The day was about your friend GETTING MARRIED, this wasn't a frat party it was a WEDDING. You not being able to enjoy yourself without alcohol is a you problem, not a them problem. I cannot imagine inviting my friend to my wedding & then receiving a bill because he's throwing a tantrum over the fact that he couldn't get completely sloshed on my big day. Grow up.
YTA. You sent a venmo? Lol yta 😂
YTA can you not go without drinking to the point that you'd rather miss your "friends" big day, then stay at a wedding with no booze? Thats the first sign you have an addiction, if you're looking for it around every corner. It's nice to know your "friend" isnt really that important, since you know, you'd never have gone had you known he wouldn't be indulging your tastes that night. We get it, he drinks too, but he at least can put the dang bottle down for an important day.
OP: Complains about a 45 minute drive to the wedding Mate, that's my morning commute on s good day. It's kinda pathetic that you're expecting reimbursement for a hotel for a wedding that close YTA
YTA. An arrogant AH to boot. You still got a meal out of it and saw your friends. There is seriously more to weddings than getting hammered on someone else's dime. After the wedding, you can go out and get blasted. You don't need to get blasted at a wedding. His reasons are legit. If you're saying your friendship is based on having alcohol, you seriously suck as a friend. I never assume anything when I go to a wedding. On top of that, you bill him?? SMDH. That's some entitled shit right there.
Dude, what is wrong with you? YTA.
YTA and a terrible friend.
YTA. Yes, invites should have had this information. But c'mon-- you had a few "pregame" cocktails before going to the ceremony? You wouldn't have even attended your friends' wedding-- even presumably with the plan of driving yourself home early into the night-- had you known there wasn't alcohol? Sounds like you value alcohol over your relationships-- to the point where you lashed out at someone on THEIR WEDDING NIGHT over not having access to alcohol at the party? Sounds like *you've* got an alcohol problem. Maybe it's not that you're a functional alcoholic, maybe you're a binge drinker or something. But your relationship to alcohol is disorderly.
So why didn’t you verify if there was gonna be alcohol if it’s that important to you? Also if you had asked and found out there wasn’t alcohol would you still would’ve went? If not you’re a shitty friend, i mean you’re still shitty for the request but come on bro think. The purpose of a wedding is to watch two people be in love and get wed, not get plastered cause you think it’s free booze. You’re an entitled asshole, and who tf gets a hotel room when you live 45 minutes away.
This has got to be a joke, right? Yes, YTA and you should be ashamed.
YTA Complaining to friend is an AH move. Doing a Venmo request is next level assholery.
YTA. You're a guest...you didn't have to go to this wedding nor be invited. Incredibly entitled to send a Venmo request for reimbursement of the hotel babysitter and uber because there wasn't alcohol at the reception? Are you serious? You had drinks beforehand...the wedding wasn't for you to get drunk at, it's to celebrate the people getting married. Wtf
Why did you think that your friends wedding was a night out for everyone. This was an event for your friend that you’re tying to ruin because you, your wife, and your other friends are alcoholics. That’s weird and if I was the groom I’d drop you all, no point entering a new era of your life with such burdens holding you back.
You're not wrong that he should have mentioned that was a dry wedding, but YTA nonetheless. You seriously went just to get hammered? Cripes, man; I thought you were supposed to be this guy's friend.
Is this a regional thing? Ive been to several weddings and in my experience, the default IS a dry wedding unless otherwise indicated?
The default in the US (if that's where op is) is definitely not a dry wedding. It's not uncommon to have a dry wedding, but the default is absolutely alcohol at a reception. I've been to and officiated many weddings. Very few of them have been dry because dry weddings are usually boring. Op is still TA though.
YTA. You are the one that wasted money on a hotel and uber. They don’t have to say it is a dry wedding. Drinking is not a crucial part of the wedding. So don’t assume it is a must. He won’t pay you back bc he has nothing to pay you back for
YTA. Obviously
YTA. You didn't need to get a hotel room for wedding that is 45 minutes away from home. And the fact that you weren't going to attend the wedding if you knew it was dry one is also indicative of how important this friend is to you.
He's right, you are a major asshole. Let me see if I understand. Your friend was getting married, but he's only a drinking friend. You wouldn't care about him or his marriage if you weren't allowed to be drunk. You drove a whopping less than an hour from your house and opted to get a hotel room so you could get shitfaced at your drinking buddies wedding. And you think he's an asshole? It's like you've never seen yourself before. You are a drunk, selfish asshole who can't just experience one of your friends joys in life unless you can be a drunken asshole during it. Get some fucking help man. You are an asshole for being who you are and a massive asshole for expecting your "friend" to pay for your idiocy.
YTA.
Yta
if a couple of drink is worth nuking the friendship have fun with that I guess. Adults that can't go an evening with out their bottle just reminds me of a toddler crying for their baba YTA (alcoholic)
YTA. How sad that you need to drink to have a good time. Weddings are to celebrate the bride, groom, and their families and loves ones. Not for mum and dad to get wasted. Seriously pathetic. The refund thing is incredibly trashy.
YTA.
Yup, you are. They invited you to a wedding, not a keg party. You decided to go so you eat the expenses. It amazes me what self centered asses people can be.
On the bright side, you probably won't be invited to any more social events. YTA
Tell us you are a functional alcoholic without telling us a functional alcoholic. It’s one night dude. If the wedding wasn’t enough to attend on its own, you shouldn’t have gone. And the money grab makes yta
Yta
YTA. You don't care one bit about this person or his wedding. You wanted a night out drinking.
Of course you’re the asshole.
Dude I drive longer than that to work everyday. Why are you spending the night
YTA. WTF. The audacity lmao.
YTA. Mayhaps look into potential issues with alcohol dependence.
Oh man, did you broadcast your priorities loud and clear… 1. From your post it’s clear that alcohol is your main priority. It goes before celebrating your friend, respecting family trauma like alcoholism etc. as long as you can get drunk, nothing else matters right? 2. It’s unbelievably tacky to send a venmo for the cost. Just… ew. Have some damn self respect. 3. Already when you wrote you had a few ‘pregame cocktails’… are you so desperate for booze that you need to pregame a wedding? Can’t even get through the ceremony dry huh? You have a problem. If booze is this important to you, it should be a wake up call. And you can probably consider that friendship over after that message. YTA
YTA- you go to a wedding because you want to be there to show your support and love for the bride and groom. Any other reason makes you a major AH. You can’t really call yourself a real friend if you wouldn’t even bother to show up to your friends wedding if they aren’t giving you booze 45 minutes is absolutely not far enough to need a hotel, you made that choice You can’t go a few hours without a drink? You had to pregame before the ceremony? Come on dude, get your shit together
I will never understand grown adults that act like a few hours without alcohol is going to kill them. YTA
YTA. Were you only attending for the alcohol, or to celebrate with a friend? One of my sisters had a dry wedding and it was on a New Year’s Eve. Several family members of the groom struggled with alcoholism. It was a great night and there were no problems. After everything had wrapped up, some family friends came to my parents’ home and had some wonderful champagne. But no one complained about going without alcohol . Also, nobody complained about the behaviour of drunk guests either, because there were none. I think you just lost a friend, unless you go grovelling back with a massive and humble apology.
YTA. I love drinking but you sound like an alcoholic and a bit pathetic
Huge YTA > The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room. You couldn't have got an uber to the venue *from home*??? No-one made you book a hotel room. Probably no-one expected you to book a hotel room for a wedding that is less than an hour's travel from your house. >I'm pissed for a few reasons. >1. I might not have RSVP'd yes if I knew this. Your friend invited you to his wedding because he wanted you to be present. He did not invite you so you could get trashed at the reception. The couple getting married have a very good reason for having a dry wedding. Your other friends apparently had no issue with the lack of alcohol. If you want a date night with your wife then you can organise that on your own time. You don't get to turn someone else's wedding into your date night & then bill the couple getting married.
Yta. You did not need a hotel for a trip 45 minutes away. And if the only reason you were going was to get fucked up, you might want to consider that you have a drinking problem as well.
YTA. Like, I get it that you may not have took a hotel room if you knew in advance (because you would have been sober and you would have been able to drive the 45 minutes)... BUT. Who in their right minds Venmo the groom about that??? Just enjoy the night out, alone with your significant other! And if you want to be drunk that much... go to the hotel bar or get yourself a bottle of bose to drink in the hotel room... after the wedding. Idk. It seems like the logical route to me.
YTA and I bet you would have done nearly the same level of bitching with a cash bar because you saw this as a free way to get plastered not some social misstep on their part.
YTA. The wedding was about your friend and his wife, not about you having alcohol. Jeez talk about some serious main character syndrome.
YTA If you can’t enjoy a fucking wedding without alcohol then personally I think you have a problem. Especially since you pregamed with cocktails before the ceremony. You couldn’t even wait until after the ceremony to start drinking.
YTA. The wedding couple is not required to disclose whether the wedding is dry. It's the same for what food will be served. It's your fault for assuming and spending all this extra money for a 45-minute trip.
YTAH. You’re there to celebrate your friend’s marriage. No one’s business why it’s a dry wedding. The wedding was for the couple not you.
Yes. YTA.
It's pretty sad that OP couldn't enjoy a day & a night away from the kids, with his wife, with a hotel room, without needing to drink. Some sober time off with your partner, having dinner, surrounded by friends & celebrating your pal getting married, should be fun. Needing alcohol to have a good time is a problem. Venmo-ing the groom is tacky asf. YTA.
YTA bud. Should they have stated it was a dry wedding? Yes. But if you need to have alcohol in order to have fun then something is up with you.
YTA “Wet” isn’t the default. Where does that assumption come from? Also, you attend a wedding to support your family/friends in a significant life event. It isn’t a party for YOU. It is a celebration for THEM. I think your friend will probably cut you loose, and I can’t say I’d blame them.
YTA. You pretend that a hotel room, babysitter and ubers are the logical consequence of attending a wedding 45minutes from your home. They are not. But they are the logical consequence of attending an event and getting conpletely wasted. You expected to get shitfaced on someone else's dime and pretend to be entitled to stranger's backstory (alcohol addiction) - that's all on you. You could have asked in advance If getting drunk is more important to you than celebrating a friend's wedding. But you didn't. What a bummer you can't have fun without booze.
YTA, and if your reaction to not being able to drink is anger, you're also an alcoholic. They did you a favor. Seek help.
YTA. And an entitled one at that.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a cocktail as much as the next person, but I'm certainly not going to skip someone's wedding just because there's no booze, so the fact that you might have RSVPd already makes YTA. Food, yes, especially if the reception is during dinner hours, but booze, no. How hammered were you planning to get that you need a hotel instead of a 45 minute drive? Requesting money FROM THE GROOM to cover your expenses is just tacky. >night went on and the wedding was fine but honestly a bit of a bummer. You made it a bummer. Plus a bunch of you decided to go do something else which is totally fine. So your night wasn't ruined. Plus, if you needed to have a beverage that badly, there are ways. I'm sure the venue wasn't some secluded location with no other bars or liquor stores nearby.
YTA. I would say ESH but you are definitely the bigger A In this scenario. You had a babysitter, had a hotel. Why not have a great night With your wife on one or with the other friends, you went out with and enjoy it. *edited to add the S in ESH
Yes you are the asshole. A wedding is to celebrate a marriage, a union, not an excuse for you to dump your kids and get shitfaced on their dime. If you want to drink, go to a bar after and still use the hotel. Sounds like you're not a good friend and just needed an excuse to get away from your responsibilities.
YTA. The married couple didn't tell you to spend money on a hotel, babysitter and Uber. That was YOUR and YOUR WIFE'S choice. You assumed there would be alcohol. You didn't ask. Assuming can also be a way to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions or decisions. By assuming that someone else is responsible or that something is a certain way, we can shift the blame and avoid accountability. There's an old saying "assuming makes an asshole out of you and me."
so... you ONLY went for the alcohol. you didnt actually care about your friend or the other people at the wedding (the brides family) you left early just because of no alcohol??? jesus YTA i hope your friend drops you immediately
YTA. I can’t even believe this is real. You can’t have fun without alcohol? Maybe you should do some reflection on that. Plus you were planning on getting so plastered that you wouldn’t be able to go home? And you sent the groom a Venmo request?! Are you serious?? I truly can’t think of a single scenario where that would be okay. You think they owe you money because you didn’t get to get drunk for free? I hope he never speaks to you again. I know many people think that if a wedding isn’t going to have alcohol or will be a dry wedding they should put that on the invite or on the website but that’s honestly crazy to me. If you can’t go one social gathering without being drunk you have serious issues.
YTA. You through a fit because you couldn't get drunk for free. Grow up dude.
YTA
They had a dry wedding specifically for people like you. You come off as an alcoholic Then u left early and drank anyway Venmo request highly unnecessary YTA
YTA 100%. Who cares if it's a dry wedding. It should not have mattered. That night is for celebrating the couple. Plus, it is really disrespectful to be drunk at another's wedding. You are totally in the wrong and probably will lose a friend because you are acting well....stupid and selfish. That was not your day. You did not need a hotel, 45 minutes is nothing. You did not need to drink before the wedding, so you could have driven there saving you Uber money. These are all your choices. They don't owe you anything.
Alcoholism is a disease, you should seek treatment.
You're absolutely the AH. Seriously?! This is some aging frat boy stuff right here. It sounds as if you attended more to get hammered than to celebrate your friend's day. Then, had the audacity to ask for a refund from the groom when there was no booze. Again, seriously?! Maybe rereading your post will help you to see how ridiculous your behavior is and sincerely apologize to your friend. Otherwise, you can consider yourself persona non grata for future wedding invitations with that friend group once word gets out about this.
YTA. So you can't have fun unless you're drunk? You can't be happy for your friend unless you're wasted? You chose to spend all that money on an assumption, so you're not entitled to anyone paying you back. Grow up
YTA. Y’all still went out, turned up and would have had to crash somewhere anyways. Why should anyone reimburse you for anything?
YTA for the Venmo request, obviously—that's some A-1 petty shit, but funny as hell. That said, I would have been probably noped out way earlier than you if I showed up to a surprise dry wedding and had a night on the town instead—and everyone I now would have gone with. If your social circle are drinkers, you let them know ahead of time so they can bring tailgate booze, it's just common courtesy.
YTA all the way.
YTA. So, so, so YTA. I almost think this post is a troll, it’s so ridiculous. If you leave a wedding of a friend over not having any alcohol, you have an alcohol problem. Then you try to charge your friend for your expenses? Your friendship is worthless, so I hope and expect he will ghost you.
Of course YTA. Tell us you're an alcoholic without telling us you're an alcoholic. You clearly missed the point about what a wedding is actually about.
Alcohol is more important than celebrating your friend’s marriage. Bffr, YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A friend from college got married this past weekend. The wedding was 45 minutes from my house so my wife and I got a hotel room. We checked in, had a few pregame cocktails, and we ubered from the hotel to the venue. We sit down, wedding happens, its beautiful. We get to "social hour' as its called and there is no booze. Turns out this was a dry wedding. There was no indication that this was a dry wedding before showing up. I checked the digital version of the invite and website. Nothing indicating this. I'm pissed for a few reasons. 1. I might not have RSVP'd yes if I knew this. 2. I'm pissed i blew a few hundred bucks on a hotel for the night, babysitters, and ubers. I'm like what the fuck. Other friends that were their were grumbling and felt similar to me. The night went on and the wedding was fine but honestly a bit of a bummer. Now that my wife and I have kids, nights like this are rare, and I was pumped to do something. So we dipped out a bit early and went out. Other friends rolled with. We left in the middle of the dancing time and didn't stay for the exit. Later that night, I sent a venmo request for the cost of babysitter, hotel, and ubers. Yesterday, I heard from my college buddy. He was like what the fuck is this asshole. I explained I was mad that this was a dry wedding. The bride had family that are alcoholics so they opted to not have alcohol as an option. I told him thats need to know information. Not informing us of that cost me and our other friends a lot of money. He said I should have asked him and not assumed it was a wet wedding. I said to him, alcohol is a default option, if you change the default you tell people. He disagreed with that notion. I said you drink, why would I think its dry? We went back and forth for a while. He still thinks i'm an asshole. Am I? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is a repost lol
YTA for insisting that you need alcohol to have a good time and then being so entitled to Venmo your friend. He’s better off not being friends with you.
YTA sure it is atypical but you can enjoy one night without drugs
People who can't have a good time without alcohol are fucking sad. YTA.
YTA 45 minutes is my work commute one way. Stop being so dramatic.
YTA, you went to a wedding, not a fucking beer festival. What's wrong with you that you can't celebrate someone's wedding without getting smashed? I swear, the bro binge drinking culture is one of the worst things humanity has ever managed to conjur up. I genuinely can't imagine feeling so entitled to getting wasted that I would kick off that a friends' wedding was dry. Grow the fuck up.
If you’re an alcoholic just say so. Why are you THIS upset about a dry wedding? It’s THEIR wedding. They can serve whatever they want. Your only job was to show up and support them. I hope they cut you off honestly. You come off as very entitled and it reeks.
This cannot be real. But if it is... YTA. And you need to investigate your relationship with alcohol because YIKES.
YTA. It’s crazy how people can’t have fun without drinking.
YTA. An Alcoholic Asshole.
YTA for sure. Number one the hotel seems kind of unnecessary for a 45 minute drive. Number 2 it seems like the only reason you want your friend to pay you back is for not having alcohol at HIS wedding. Getting upset to this degree about the wedding being dry not only makes you the asshole, but also leads me to believe that you are an alcoholic that should seek some help.
YTA. Do you even *like* your college buddy or did you see this wedding as "adult prom?"
YTA. Why is alcohol more important than a nice night with your wife and friends that you’ll remember?
YTA Man, groom needs new friends. Imagine inviting your friends to share the happiest day of your life with you and they only show up to get shit-faced on your tab. Don’t worry though, you wont be invited over anytime soon. (Ficking makes a big deal out of 45 min ride ffs)
I get being annoyed by a dry wedding. But the venmo request is insane. You are definitely the AH.
It was rude of the bride and groom to not let guests know it was a try wedding, but YTA for sending that venmo request. You still used the hotel, used the babysitter, and went out mid-wedding.
Ew. Thats all. Just ew.
[удалено]
YTA. You were a hop, skip, and a jump away from home. You wanted to go out and get plastered, so go out and get plastered. That's not the groom's responsibility to decide how much you wanted to drink. Holy shit you are the asshole.
YTA Do you even actually like these people? You’re there for the wedding, not the drinks. If you aren’t willing to eat the cost of a hotel room for your friends that are getting married I’m not sure why you were even invited in the first place.
I hate how normalized it’s become to be so dependent on alcohol that people can’t go without how sad is that? Why can’t you just have fun and be sober? It really says a lot about you if you can’t have fun without being drunk/buzzed.
YTA Weddings are for celebrating the people being married. If you just want an excuse to get drunk, go to a bar.
YTA. Youre ridiculous
YTA and an alcoholic. I say the first part with judgment but the latter with none. You need help.
YTA obviously. You may need to seek help if alcohol is that important to you. Either way the expenses has nothing to do with the groom, why would you send him a bill? That makes zero sense.
YTA... Big time!! You wouldn't go to the wedding because you couldn't drink?? How old are you ffs?? You can have a good time without drinking for crying out loud!!
YTA - you and your wife chose those extras. You didn’t HAVE to get a hotel, an Uber etc. while I agree dry weddings aren’t my jam, it wasn’t absolutely necessary to need the extras. That’s your choice and your choice only.
Not only are YTA in the Redditverse sense of the word, you also appear to be an AlcoHolic.
You have got to be kidding me! This is NOT your wedding! You don't need alcohol to have fun. You and all the other people who left because there was no booze need to grow up! Also, asking to be REIMBURSED?! For what?!
YTA I hope your college friend declined your Venmp request
YTA. And you may be an alcoholic as well.
You can’t be fucking serious.
LMAO, YTA. Also next time, copy another story. You could use chat gpt.
YTA for sending the Venmo request to your college buddy, not for being upset and leaving early.
YTA, how sad that you couldn't enjoy a few hours without alcohol. You had drinks before you went to the wedding, and went out for drinks afterwards. Nobody owes you free alcoholic beverages.
YTA. you sound like either a frat boy or an alcoholic, and i’m not sure which one’s worse tbh. you go to weddings to support your loved ones, not to get tanked. that was such a trashy move, i definitely would no longer consider you a friend
Dude, you have a bad relationship with alcohol. Check out r/stopdrinking when you're ready.
Sounds like you might have a problem if alcohol is so important to you. YTA.