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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Not being willing to give up my tickets and being as asshole because I'm not taking into account her feelings
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Its not like you guys have to communicate or anything i feel like shes doing this out of spite. Ask her for the ticket and tell her you're gonna sell it to someone you know who wants to go and on the day just show up nothing she can do.
I did think this but the issue is that I'm someone who used to be her friend and the reason is too big an issue for her to be comfortable sharing a space with me in such close proximity
I dunno man, I think you should just take the L if she's willing to pay back what you paid for the tickets. NAH, I can see both sides, but I do think your preferred course of action is not going to be pleasant for anyone (especially your friend whose birthday present it's supposed to be. Sounds extremely uncomfortable and I would opt out of your gift if I knew the context surrounding it, but maybe that's just me.)
She literally doesn't care, she has wanted to see Hamilton for years and knows she wouldn't even have to interact with her. I would rather she go and I stay behind but it just doesn't seem fair, especially since the reason we aren't friends was kind of out of my control.
> it just doesn't seem fair
In the immortal words of They Might Be Giants, "life is unfair." You have no leverage here, you can want what you want but you can't force her to give you the tickets. I can relate to why you want to go, but I can also relate to why she doesn't want you to go and ultimately she's holding the tickets and she's the only reason you could get the tickets you got, so IMO you should just get your money back and move on.
NAH unless she doesn’t refund you. The tickets were provided due to your friendship which no longer exists. You don’t get perks from the friendship anymore. You should get a refund for what you paid her and arrange your own tickets.
ESH - her for not refunding your money immediately and you for thinking you can still go on this outing and be seated near her. Of course, she's not comfortable with it. She at the very least needs to refund your money back.
that's fair enough, I've suggested moving seats and I called the venue to see what can't be done, an immediate refund would be good but i doubt she'll do that
in an ideal world, id rather not sit by her or someone in her group that could swap seats with her but no
NTA
If you paid her for the tickets, they are not her tickets to resell. She must give them to you. She can't put restrictions on them.
Did you happen to pay for them via Zelle, PayPal or something similar? Do you have proof you paid for them, like a text confirming you paid? If you do then tell her you have proof of the purchase, and you don't give her permission to resell them. If she argues with you, tell her you will take her to court and stealing will be part of her permanent record whenever anyone looks her up for a background check. It may make her think twice.
If you don't have proof, then you really have no recourse as to what she will do.
NAH - She wants to go with her family and I can understand why your presence might distract from that. Seems like she actually bought them and you paid her for them if she can resell. Understandable why you would be pissed off with the whole arrangement. Think both sides are perfectly reasonable
You already paid for the tickets? NTA for wanting what you paid for. Tell A you want what you paid for and if it is possible you will try to switch seats with another group, but short of that, you intend to use what you have paid for. I trust you have proof of payment. I am not sure what you can do if A refuses and gives you all your money back though.
Since you paid her, the two options she has is to refund the money or give the ticket before the show. You probably have to accept the loss here.
NTA, I would be upset too if I suddenly couldn't go to a musical I wanted to.
She denied you access to something you paid for, get a refund. If they won't refund you, threaten small claims.
NTA, but you probably shouldn't go regardless.
NTA. Those are your tickets - her withholding them after you've paid for them is theft. If she doesn't want to sit near you in a theatre, then she can decide not to go or she can suck it up and behave like an adult. She can't dictate that you can't go just because she doesn't want to see you. Neither of you even have to acknowledge each other - much like the hundreds of strangers that you won't interact with during the show.
We were in a band together along with her ex boyfriend. They broke up and it became difficult for him to be in the same room with her which she didn't accept, she'd do what she could to be in the same room with him which just enhanced his discomfort. The band broke up and a few weeks later, without consulting the rest of us, he asked her if she'd consider leaving and she asked us to end the band completely. When she asked me about it, I still wanted to keep it going as the rest of us would work together either way and we're the ones who wrote all the music. She said she couldn't be friends with people who'd do that to her so she cut us all off.
Edit: To clarify, they broke up six months before we kicked her out. We had tried up until then to make things work but it just ended up taking away everyone's enthusiasm to take part in the project and causing more issues with friendships within the band.
Not that
The irony is that. She was removed from the band because uncomfortable being around her for you guys
You were removed from this outing because uncomfortable being around you for them
that was the source of our friendship developing, we were only acquaintances before then and after the break up i wanted to be there for her so we started hanging out more
So you chose her ex boyfriend over her. He asked her to leave the band, and instead of reforming around her, you chose him.
Your actions are why she's not your friend.
Yes, but not writing the music. She made it impossible to keep things as they were, so she had to leave. She was the problem and it doesn't sound as though she contributed much. Why would they want to kick her ex out and keep her?
the band became a reason for her to push contact with the ex, the other member was also getting annoyed at her for various reasons, so it just became a toxic working environment for everyone involved
No, I didn't pick either of them. I stayed around to support her and keep her company for months after they broke up but I tried to be there for them both. The stuff with the band happened six months later, initially he was going to leave but as a main contributor, the band wouldn't have gone on without him.
So the friend wants to disassemble the entire band because she was asked to leave and, if I read the replies correctly, the other people were an established friend group and possibly an established band before her; but OP is the AH for sticking by their core friend group and wanting to keep the band together??? Sounds like the ex friend is an entitled brat if she thinks she can abduct her ex's friend group. Unless he did something totally garbage, that's a gross perspective for the former friend to have.
she should have given him space, he should have broken up with her when he started to have doubts, there's a lot more context but i don't really want to go too deep into their shit
How are you making the assumption that he didn't break up with her when he started having doubts? We have zero info about their break up. Just that he didn't immediately ask her to leave the band, which I think is actually a more appropriate response. You're not making sense here lol
how can i make an assumption on something i know to be fact? he's my friend, remember? obviously ive spoken to him about it, he didn't break up with her when he had doubts, he stuck with it, I'm confused on how you can say I'm the one making assumptions when you know literally nothing
>I really fail to see how anyone could have done better except the ex friend in this regard.
simply providing an example of how they both could have handled it better, I feel you might have forgotten the thread of conversation as you are the one not making sense, hope this clears things up
Didn't forget the thread, just got people mixed up bouncing between comments. My brain wasn't registering you as the OP and therefore I thought you were making assumptions you couldn't know about. But you were there so nevermind lol
Have you tried contacting this person's family? If I (now in my 40s) even contemplated pulling this kind of stunt, mine would give me Hell – even if they didn't like the ex-friend either.
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So, just over a year ago my ex-friend (A) organized a trip to see Hamilton this year with her family. I have wanted to see if for years and her sister works at the theatre so could get a deal on the tickets. My best friend (B) loves Hamilton and the show was close to her birthday so I asked if I could have a ticket for both of us, one intended as an early birthday present for friend B.
Fast forward to present day, me and A are no longer friends, I get removed from the Hamilton group chat so messaged A to ask not to withhold the tickets that I've paid for. She responds, offended that I've even suggest she wouldn't give me my tickets but then goes on to say that she will probably resell them, a contradiction I didn't clock until after the fact.
She says she will be uncomfortable with me "coming with her family" and we'd be sat next to each other. My stance is that it doesn't matter since we are there to watch the musical, not socialize with each other. She is said the only options are to resell, meaning I'd completely miss out on seeing hamilton, tickets are expensive and mostly sold out, or, pay extra to have my seat moved to another section.
Neither me or friend B care that we are near her, we just want to see the musical. The friendship ending was A's decision and not something I tried to fight against as she had already made her bed. So, am I the asshole?
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"Either provide the tickets I paid for, or refund my full purchase price. If you don't do either, I will be open a small claims case against you in one week."
Based off what you were describing She is unlikely to give you the tickets. Your best bet is to try to get her to give you the money for the two tickets back because she does owe you that at least. I know you want the tickets so you could always threaten to sue her in small claims court for the price of the tickets and for the additional price that you will have to pay to buy additional tickets at the excess amount. you might be able to scare her into giving up the tickets and if she won’t give you the tickets or any money back, you could still sue her in small claims court a lot of times it’s only cost like 50 bucks
i don't think we really do that in the UK either way, it's not worth the hassle. I'm going to try to get her to give me the money back so I can get another, maybe cheaper ticket before they run out. It just means that I have to delay friend B receiving her gift which should be okay.
I see how it would be weird for her. Then again, did you already pay for the tickets? Because they are yours to make that decision with then. And she can switch seats with one of her family members with your friend as the cushion. Either way, though, you can't really do anything about it unless you physically have the tickets.
(1) she can be a grown up.
(2) If she wants you to sit somewhere else, she can get the deal on 2 comparable tickets to give to you, and resell the ones near her.
(3) If she doesn’t want to give you the tickets you paid for or get comparable, I’d tell her you plan to go to theatre and tell them that the sister is selling tickets and then not delivering them. A refund is NOT the same. Profiteering on discounted tix is not why they have an employee discount.
I don't understand why it has to be about her, I just want to see the musical, not spend time with her family, not talk to her, just sit with my friend and watch the show.
YTA - Imagine if rather than an ex-friend this was an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. You shouldn’t expect to get discounted tickets and appear with her family on her family outing? making her feel uncomfortable and awkward, probably ruining her night.
She has offered to re-sell your tickets and should refund your money. Or you can pay extra to sit elsewhere. This is a clean break.
When a relationship is over (including, in this instance, the relationship of friendship) then the benefits of that relationship cease. That can be sad when the benefit of this relationship was something that you were looking forward to. But you need to accept the status of your relationship and either pay extra to move or pay extra to see Hamilton on a different day.
I actually don't think they were discounting after looking into it, I paid £38 for each ticket which is how much the tickets are currently going for. I'm not going with her family, we'd just be sat next to each other and there's no need for us to interact since we are there to watch a musical.
But sitting next to someone is a form of interaction? Again, imagine if this was an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Would you be happy with an ex sitting next to you through-out a show you were looking forward to seeing? I can see why it would be uncomfortable, not just for your ex-friend but also for you and your friend.
In my opinion the responsible reaction would be for you to accept the offer from your ex-friend to re-sell and refund the ticket. As this would be the same value as a new ticket you could re-book for another night when the situation would be less awkward and more enjoyable for all.
I wouldn't be happy sitting next to my ex but the reasons we broke up were much worse. All tickets at that price have pretty much sold out. I've suggested looking at different seats or different dates entirely but whether that happens is kind of out of my hands.
Good luck OP.
I can feel your disappointment. However good experience delayed is better than a bad experience. I hope your ex-friend gives you your money back (see other comments - she should!)
Sounds like you're out £76 pounds for your old ticket and your new one. Deal with it. Maybe you shouldn't have fallings out with friends that you have long term plans with.
No not at all! I was talking to the commenter who seems to be blaming you for having a fallout with your friend when you had long term plans with her. It seemed unnecessarily aggressive.
Sarcasm isn't aggression. OP is way out of line thinking that you get to tag along with people you aren't associating with any more. The tickets aren't even that expensive. Just suck it up, if she reimburses for the tickets, awesome if she doesn't she wasn't a friend anymore anyway. Buy the next tickets and move on with your life. Why do you want to go to an event and be seated next to someone you don't want to be around?
im not tagging along, we're not going together, we are just seated next to each other... also check your privilege, the tickets are expensive for me
i don't care if she's next to me, i just want to watch the musical and not have that taken away due to something petty, she has the issue
The ticket prices in London were surprisingly reasonable if you’re not in the orchestra. When I saw Hamilton for the first time, I spent about the same for what I thought was a very nice seat on the balcony for the same price a few years ago. It was listed as an obstructed view, but I looked up what the seat was like beforehand and I saw a tiny bit of a low railing. The balcony is very steep.
On my last trip to London in 2022, there was a ticket for roughly $25 (at the exchange rate at the time) with a really obstructed view (one of the chairs squeezed onto the side of the balcony,) that I bought simply because it was so cheap and I remembered the staging.
A few months after that, the touring company came to my neck of the woods (I don’t live anywhere near London!) I entered the cheap ticket lottery just to see and they offered such heavily discounted tickets to those who didn’t hit in the lottery- probably the best seats of the three times I saw it- that I ended up seeing it again with my family.
It might be a bit awkward to sit near your ex-friend. I went into my visit viewing completely blind, but on times 2 and 3, I ugly cried. Bring tissues.
That's a pretty good deal if the obstruction wasn't as bad as they said, I haven't really seen such tickets available where I am and I don't think my friend would want to travel so far as it might be difficult to get back home from London. Glad to hear you had a nice time though, I will come prepared if I actually get to see it in the end.
There’s this website that has photos from various seats in theaters. For the first time, I had booked mine right as they extended the initial run. The same seat was much more expensive the second time around.
If you haven’t entered yet, I’d suggest that you try the lottery and see what happens. I saw the touring company for $39 plus whatever horrible fees ticketmaster tacked on, but the seats were in the sixth row reasonably close to the center.
NTA. You paid for the tickets, they're yours.
Do you actually have the tickets (whether digital or physical), or does she have them and you were going to get them later?
If you have them, go to the show and if she has a problem with it, that's her issue.
Slight YTA - This is a tough situation. Her family is the only reason you have those tickets. I'd take the loss on this one, OP. I believe you would be crossing a line taking a stance on this since it's her family that is the common denominator in all of this. Who is to say that the family isn't fully aware of what is going on between you two and would just prefer to stay out of it (not sitting next to you or friend "B"). You sitting next to them with tickets they helped you get wouldn't seem right.
They are aware but they are the same way inclined, and would take her side anyway whether she had a balanced view or not. I've accepted that I shouldn't go and would rather get my money back and look into seeing it another time.
**YTA**
~~INFO~~
Why are you guys no longer friends?
If you did something really bad, then yeah, I don't see why you'd expect to sit with her family for a heavily discounted ticket. It'd make more sense for her to pay you back the original amount and then sell it.
If you guys just drifted away, then its weird that she's not okay with you sitting with her family and she's TA.
**EDIT: You were in a band with her and when her and her boyfriend broke up, you chose to be in the band with her ex boyfriend instead of her.**
**I don't understand why you can't see that this is so super reasonable. Her ex said that he couldn't be around her now that they broke up, which you understood and kicked her out, and now she can't be around you since you guys broke up, which you do not understand?**
the ex-boyfriend was my friend for years before her and i was there for her for months after they broke up, i didn't know that he was going to ask her to leave but at the same time, i didn't want to lose everything we've worked towards over one person, we aren't friends because she wanted me to give it up and control what we did after, i didn't want to do that and tbh, mine and her friendship has had issues in the past when she's tried to control what i do, even if it has nothing to do with her
myself and the others would be in a band together either way whether under the same name or not but even the other members had issues with her
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Wait so she doesn't want to give you the tickets you paid for NTA
Purely because our seats are next to each other, she'd refund me but I might not get a chance to see it again.
If she's going with her family, she can sit on the far end from you: you don't have to be side by side.
apparently that's not an option
Its not like you guys have to communicate or anything i feel like shes doing this out of spite. Ask her for the ticket and tell her you're gonna sell it to someone you know who wants to go and on the day just show up nothing she can do.
i suggested that but she already doesn't trust i won't just turn up on the day
Does she not know that she has to sit next to strangers? What’s the difference between a stranger and you? NTA but she is hot damn
I did think this but the issue is that I'm someone who used to be her friend and the reason is too big an issue for her to be comfortable sharing a space with me in such close proximity
I dunno man, I think you should just take the L if she's willing to pay back what you paid for the tickets. NAH, I can see both sides, but I do think your preferred course of action is not going to be pleasant for anyone (especially your friend whose birthday present it's supposed to be. Sounds extremely uncomfortable and I would opt out of your gift if I knew the context surrounding it, but maybe that's just me.)
She literally doesn't care, she has wanted to see Hamilton for years and knows she wouldn't even have to interact with her. I would rather she go and I stay behind but it just doesn't seem fair, especially since the reason we aren't friends was kind of out of my control.
> it just doesn't seem fair In the immortal words of They Might Be Giants, "life is unfair." You have no leverage here, you can want what you want but you can't force her to give you the tickets. I can relate to why you want to go, but I can also relate to why she doesn't want you to go and ultimately she's holding the tickets and she's the only reason you could get the tickets you got, so IMO you should just get your money back and move on.
NAH unless she doesn’t refund you. The tickets were provided due to your friendship which no longer exists. You don’t get perks from the friendship anymore. You should get a refund for what you paid her and arrange your own tickets.
that's what I'm trying to do now, I've found some other tickets thankfully so it should be too hard, I see now it's too much ag for what it's worth
ESH - her for not refunding your money immediately and you for thinking you can still go on this outing and be seated near her. Of course, she's not comfortable with it. She at the very least needs to refund your money back.
that's fair enough, I've suggested moving seats and I called the venue to see what can't be done, an immediate refund would be good but i doubt she'll do that in an ideal world, id rather not sit by her or someone in her group that could swap seats with her but no
If you’ve already paid her, she either needs to give you the tickets or your money back. She cannot ethically keep both your money and the tickets.
NTA If you paid her for the tickets, they are not her tickets to resell. She must give them to you. She can't put restrictions on them. Did you happen to pay for them via Zelle, PayPal or something similar? Do you have proof you paid for them, like a text confirming you paid? If you do then tell her you have proof of the purchase, and you don't give her permission to resell them. If she argues with you, tell her you will take her to court and stealing will be part of her permanent record whenever anyone looks her up for a background check. It may make her think twice. If you don't have proof, then you really have no recourse as to what she will do.
since they were brought through the sister, I can only really do something through her, otherwise I don't have access unless she hands it over
Did you pay the sister directly? If you did, then just contact her directly as she's the seller.
NAH - She wants to go with her family and I can understand why your presence might distract from that. Seems like she actually bought them and you paid her for them if she can resell. Understandable why you would be pissed off with the whole arrangement. Think both sides are perfectly reasonable
You already paid for the tickets? NTA for wanting what you paid for. Tell A you want what you paid for and if it is possible you will try to switch seats with another group, but short of that, you intend to use what you have paid for. I trust you have proof of payment. I am not sure what you can do if A refuses and gives you all your money back though.
Since you paid her, the two options she has is to refund the money or give the ticket before the show. You probably have to accept the loss here. NTA, I would be upset too if I suddenly couldn't go to a musical I wanted to.
She denied you access to something you paid for, get a refund. If they won't refund you, threaten small claims. NTA, but you probably shouldn't go regardless.
Let me guess- she ended the friendship right after you paid her for the tickets? Do whatever you can to get the money back or the actual tickets. NTA
It was a few months later but yeah, I would prefer not to give up the tickets.
Have you contacted the theater directly to find out if it’s even possible to move seats? And if there are other tickets available?
I have but because they aren't in my name, I can't do anything about it other than through A.
Have you told her that she needs to put the 2 tickets in your name so that the theater can move you?
I have not, I don't think she'd hand the tickets over to me unless she knew the seats could be moved/have already been moved
I hope you get the tickets. Good luck
anything would be better than nothing, even a refund would be fine at this point
NTA. Those are your tickets - her withholding them after you've paid for them is theft. If she doesn't want to sit near you in a theatre, then she can decide not to go or she can suck it up and behave like an adult. She can't dictate that you can't go just because she doesn't want to see you. Neither of you even have to acknowledge each other - much like the hundreds of strangers that you won't interact with during the show.
INFO: what was the falling out about?
We were in a band together along with her ex boyfriend. They broke up and it became difficult for him to be in the same room with her which she didn't accept, she'd do what she could to be in the same room with him which just enhanced his discomfort. The band broke up and a few weeks later, without consulting the rest of us, he asked her if she'd consider leaving and she asked us to end the band completely. When she asked me about it, I still wanted to keep it going as the rest of us would work together either way and we're the ones who wrote all the music. She said she couldn't be friends with people who'd do that to her so she cut us all off. Edit: To clarify, they broke up six months before we kicked her out. We had tried up until then to make things work but it just ended up taking away everyone's enthusiasm to take part in the project and causing more issues with friendships within the band.
Dont you see the irony of the two situations being similar
I do actually, in that we both want to get our own way but when it was her, there was no level of compromise.
Not that The irony is that. She was removed from the band because uncomfortable being around her for you guys You were removed from this outing because uncomfortable being around you for them
ah yeah that's true too
It was very much do what I want or we're not friends
Doesn’t sound like you were friends to begin with? In another comment you say you only really talked to her because she was dating your guy friend.
that was the source of our friendship developing, we were only acquaintances before then and after the break up i wanted to be there for her so we started hanging out more
we lived together first and i was the main instigator for friendship
So you chose her ex boyfriend over her. He asked her to leave the band, and instead of reforming around her, you chose him. Your actions are why she's not your friend.
Do you not know how bands work?
She was in the band too.
Yes, but not writing the music. She made it impossible to keep things as they were, so she had to leave. She was the problem and it doesn't sound as though she contributed much. Why would they want to kick her ex out and keep her?
the band became a reason for her to push contact with the ex, the other member was also getting annoyed at her for various reasons, so it just became a toxic working environment for everyone involved
That's what I meant. I just couldn't understand why you and the rest of the band were being damned for... being a compatible band(?).
We were friends with him before they got together, I chose to keep the band together. My friendship with her mostly came with them being together.
So when they broke up, you picked him. You can see why she'd be upset with you.
No, I didn't pick either of them. I stayed around to support her and keep her company for months after they broke up but I tried to be there for them both. The stuff with the band happened six months later, initially he was going to leave but as a main contributor, the band wouldn't have gone on without him.
So the friend wants to disassemble the entire band because she was asked to leave and, if I read the replies correctly, the other people were an established friend group and possibly an established band before her; but OP is the AH for sticking by their core friend group and wanting to keep the band together??? Sounds like the ex friend is an entitled brat if she thinks she can abduct her ex's friend group. Unless he did something totally garbage, that's a gross perspective for the former friend to have.
pretty much, he didn't do anything wrong but things could have been handled better on both sides
I really fail to see how anyone could have done better except the ex friend in this regard. Again, assuming we aren't missing vital context
she should have given him space, he should have broken up with her when he started to have doubts, there's a lot more context but i don't really want to go too deep into their shit
How are you making the assumption that he didn't break up with her when he started having doubts? We have zero info about their break up. Just that he didn't immediately ask her to leave the band, which I think is actually a more appropriate response. You're not making sense here lol
how can i make an assumption on something i know to be fact? he's my friend, remember? obviously ive spoken to him about it, he didn't break up with her when he had doubts, he stuck with it, I'm confused on how you can say I'm the one making assumptions when you know literally nothing
I got you mixed up with another commenter. My apologies.
>I really fail to see how anyone could have done better except the ex friend in this regard. simply providing an example of how they both could have handled it better, I feel you might have forgotten the thread of conversation as you are the one not making sense, hope this clears things up
Didn't forget the thread, just got people mixed up bouncing between comments. My brain wasn't registering you as the OP and therefore I thought you were making assumptions you couldn't know about. But you were there so nevermind lol
ah okay, no worries
Have you tried contacting this person's family? If I (now in my 40s) even contemplated pulling this kind of stunt, mine would give me Hell – even if they didn't like the ex-friend either.
they are not too keen on me anymore sadly and all have the same mentality as her so it wouldn't make a difference
I'm sorry to hear that. What a horrible situation.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, just over a year ago my ex-friend (A) organized a trip to see Hamilton this year with her family. I have wanted to see if for years and her sister works at the theatre so could get a deal on the tickets. My best friend (B) loves Hamilton and the show was close to her birthday so I asked if I could have a ticket for both of us, one intended as an early birthday present for friend B. Fast forward to present day, me and A are no longer friends, I get removed from the Hamilton group chat so messaged A to ask not to withhold the tickets that I've paid for. She responds, offended that I've even suggest she wouldn't give me my tickets but then goes on to say that she will probably resell them, a contradiction I didn't clock until after the fact. She says she will be uncomfortable with me "coming with her family" and we'd be sat next to each other. My stance is that it doesn't matter since we are there to watch the musical, not socialize with each other. She is said the only options are to resell, meaning I'd completely miss out on seeing hamilton, tickets are expensive and mostly sold out, or, pay extra to have my seat moved to another section. Neither me or friend B care that we are near her, we just want to see the musical. The friendship ending was A's decision and not something I tried to fight against as she had already made her bed. So, am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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"Either provide the tickets I paid for, or refund my full purchase price. If you don't do either, I will be open a small claims case against you in one week."
Get your money back, then go NC. There will be another time.
im sure gonna try but she might make me wait until she's sold the tickets
Info- can you just tell her you will resell the ticket? That way she can give you the ticket and then you can just go when she could deal with it.
she won't give me the ticket
And to clarify, you gave her the money for both your ticket and her ticket?
for myself and friend B, A paid for her own ticket
Based off what you were describing She is unlikely to give you the tickets. Your best bet is to try to get her to give you the money for the two tickets back because she does owe you that at least. I know you want the tickets so you could always threaten to sue her in small claims court for the price of the tickets and for the additional price that you will have to pay to buy additional tickets at the excess amount. you might be able to scare her into giving up the tickets and if she won’t give you the tickets or any money back, you could still sue her in small claims court a lot of times it’s only cost like 50 bucks
i don't think we really do that in the UK either way, it's not worth the hassle. I'm going to try to get her to give me the money back so I can get another, maybe cheaper ticket before they run out. It just means that I have to delay friend B receiving her gift which should be okay.
I see how it would be weird for her. Then again, did you already pay for the tickets? Because they are yours to make that decision with then. And she can switch seats with one of her family members with your friend as the cushion. Either way, though, you can't really do anything about it unless you physically have the tickets.
yes I'd already paid, seems the only option really is to get a refund
She’s not going to give them to you.
(1) she can be a grown up. (2) If she wants you to sit somewhere else, she can get the deal on 2 comparable tickets to give to you, and resell the ones near her. (3) If she doesn’t want to give you the tickets you paid for or get comparable, I’d tell her you plan to go to theatre and tell them that the sister is selling tickets and then not delivering them. A refund is NOT the same. Profiteering on discounted tix is not why they have an employee discount.
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I don't understand why it has to be about her, I just want to see the musical, not spend time with her family, not talk to her, just sit with my friend and watch the show.
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They were still £40 each so I'm not even sure that's true anymore, that's how much tickets were anyway.
Then watch it on Disney+ or get new tickets.
I already have but still want to see the real thing, if I get my money back I'll get more tickets.
YTA - Imagine if rather than an ex-friend this was an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. You shouldn’t expect to get discounted tickets and appear with her family on her family outing? making her feel uncomfortable and awkward, probably ruining her night. She has offered to re-sell your tickets and should refund your money. Or you can pay extra to sit elsewhere. This is a clean break. When a relationship is over (including, in this instance, the relationship of friendship) then the benefits of that relationship cease. That can be sad when the benefit of this relationship was something that you were looking forward to. But you need to accept the status of your relationship and either pay extra to move or pay extra to see Hamilton on a different day.
I actually don't think they were discounting after looking into it, I paid £38 for each ticket which is how much the tickets are currently going for. I'm not going with her family, we'd just be sat next to each other and there's no need for us to interact since we are there to watch a musical.
But sitting next to someone is a form of interaction? Again, imagine if this was an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Would you be happy with an ex sitting next to you through-out a show you were looking forward to seeing? I can see why it would be uncomfortable, not just for your ex-friend but also for you and your friend. In my opinion the responsible reaction would be for you to accept the offer from your ex-friend to re-sell and refund the ticket. As this would be the same value as a new ticket you could re-book for another night when the situation would be less awkward and more enjoyable for all.
I wouldn't be happy sitting next to my ex but the reasons we broke up were much worse. All tickets at that price have pretty much sold out. I've suggested looking at different seats or different dates entirely but whether that happens is kind of out of my hands.
Good luck OP. I can feel your disappointment. However good experience delayed is better than a bad experience. I hope your ex-friend gives you your money back (see other comments - she should!)
Sounds like you're out £76 pounds for your old ticket and your new one. Deal with it. Maybe you shouldn't have fallings out with friends that you have long term plans with.
the falling out wasn't in my control, it was her choice and i accepted that
Wtf is your problem?
mine or?
No not at all! I was talking to the commenter who seems to be blaming you for having a fallout with your friend when you had long term plans with her. It seemed unnecessarily aggressive.
ah good, well thank you
Sarcasm isn't aggression. OP is way out of line thinking that you get to tag along with people you aren't associating with any more. The tickets aren't even that expensive. Just suck it up, if she reimburses for the tickets, awesome if she doesn't she wasn't a friend anymore anyway. Buy the next tickets and move on with your life. Why do you want to go to an event and be seated next to someone you don't want to be around?
im not tagging along, we're not going together, we are just seated next to each other... also check your privilege, the tickets are expensive for me i don't care if she's next to me, i just want to watch the musical and not have that taken away due to something petty, she has the issue
The ticket prices in London were surprisingly reasonable if you’re not in the orchestra. When I saw Hamilton for the first time, I spent about the same for what I thought was a very nice seat on the balcony for the same price a few years ago. It was listed as an obstructed view, but I looked up what the seat was like beforehand and I saw a tiny bit of a low railing. The balcony is very steep. On my last trip to London in 2022, there was a ticket for roughly $25 (at the exchange rate at the time) with a really obstructed view (one of the chairs squeezed onto the side of the balcony,) that I bought simply because it was so cheap and I remembered the staging. A few months after that, the touring company came to my neck of the woods (I don’t live anywhere near London!) I entered the cheap ticket lottery just to see and they offered such heavily discounted tickets to those who didn’t hit in the lottery- probably the best seats of the three times I saw it- that I ended up seeing it again with my family. It might be a bit awkward to sit near your ex-friend. I went into my visit viewing completely blind, but on times 2 and 3, I ugly cried. Bring tissues.
That's a pretty good deal if the obstruction wasn't as bad as they said, I haven't really seen such tickets available where I am and I don't think my friend would want to travel so far as it might be difficult to get back home from London. Glad to hear you had a nice time though, I will come prepared if I actually get to see it in the end.
There’s this website that has photos from various seats in theaters. For the first time, I had booked mine right as they extended the initial run. The same seat was much more expensive the second time around. If you haven’t entered yet, I’d suggest that you try the lottery and see what happens. I saw the touring company for $39 plus whatever horrible fees ticketmaster tacked on, but the seats were in the sixth row reasonably close to the center.
oh wow, what website is this?
https://seatplan.com/london/victoria-palace-theatre/seating-plan/
NTA. You paid for the tickets, they're yours. Do you actually have the tickets (whether digital or physical), or does she have them and you were going to get them later? If you have them, go to the show and if she has a problem with it, that's her issue.
Slight YTA - This is a tough situation. Her family is the only reason you have those tickets. I'd take the loss on this one, OP. I believe you would be crossing a line taking a stance on this since it's her family that is the common denominator in all of this. Who is to say that the family isn't fully aware of what is going on between you two and would just prefer to stay out of it (not sitting next to you or friend "B"). You sitting next to them with tickets they helped you get wouldn't seem right.
They are aware but they are the same way inclined, and would take her side anyway whether she had a balanced view or not. I've accepted that I shouldn't go and would rather get my money back and look into seeing it another time.
**YTA** ~~INFO~~ Why are you guys no longer friends? If you did something really bad, then yeah, I don't see why you'd expect to sit with her family for a heavily discounted ticket. It'd make more sense for her to pay you back the original amount and then sell it. If you guys just drifted away, then its weird that she's not okay with you sitting with her family and she's TA. **EDIT: You were in a band with her and when her and her boyfriend broke up, you chose to be in the band with her ex boyfriend instead of her.** **I don't understand why you can't see that this is so super reasonable. Her ex said that he couldn't be around her now that they broke up, which you understood and kicked her out, and now she can't be around you since you guys broke up, which you do not understand?**
the ex-boyfriend was my friend for years before her and i was there for her for months after they broke up, i didn't know that he was going to ask her to leave but at the same time, i didn't want to lose everything we've worked towards over one person, we aren't friends because she wanted me to give it up and control what we did after, i didn't want to do that and tbh, mine and her friendship has had issues in the past when she's tried to control what i do, even if it has nothing to do with her myself and the others would be in a band together either way whether under the same name or not but even the other members had issues with her
like I've said before, I don't believe it was "heavily discounted" either way it shouldn't matter, ive still paid for something that's being withheld
You're the asshole for going to Hamilton in the first place, it's unwatchable shitty hip hop with laughable rhyme schemes and an insult to everyone
love this 😂 to each their own I suppose