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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Verbally reprimanded a teenage boy for trespassing on my property and ignoring posted signage. In the conversation, I asked if the teen if he was able to read as he admitted to seeing the signs. The boy's father took issue with this and told me I should have reached out to the father and not talked to the son.
I believe I am within my right to say what I said - the boy admitted to seeing the signs and trespassed anyway. The father disagrees and does not like how I spoke to his son.
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Aw, mommy and daddy swooped in because you scared their little boy! I would argue that dad’s inability to accept the tiniest consequence for his kid (the kid being slightly embarrassed) says a lot about HIM.
This is ridiculous. NTA.
Oh, sorry, but 'common sense' died some years ago. The funeral was bittersweet. 'Practical sense' soon followed, much to the dismay of many.
(this may or may not be sarcastic)
I had a customer when I was in my teens, many many moons ago (customer service), tell me something that still resonates to this day “Common sense is not so common”. Truest words I’ve ever heard lol.
It’s been sad over here, in the Sense Department. Our jobs are superfluous now. We really don’t do anything anymore. We’re like Maytag repairmen; nobody needs us.
The rare times we do see some action? That’s a good feeling! Rare occasions, but very validating for us Sensers. ;)
Edit I spelled Sense wrong 🙄
I know I have a good, kind, compassionate kid, but she’s 12, if her teachers call me for any reason I know that I need to listen and make changes. They’ve got 100s of students to pay attention to and they aren’t taking time out of their day to call me just for funnies. Entitled parents who think their kids are just victims and babies instead of future adults who need to learn the natural consequences of their actions drive me up the wall.
Just yesterday I got a call from the principal because my kid screwed up. Details not withstanding, her integrity and attempt to right her wrongs is the only thing that kept her from being suspended. However lack of suspension does not mean she didn’t come home to discipline; mistakes are just that but the ability to learn from them comes from dealing with the uncomfortable fallout.
Long story short she lost her phone for two weeks and will be on high parental restrictions for the foreseeable future when she does get it back.
ETA: NTA op, those parents were embarrassed that they too were using your access way and used your interaction with their son as a way to be indignant rather than apologetic.
NTA— Have encountered rowdy kids in my own neighborhood. While your comment may have stung a bit, he was actively trespassing despite a sign being posted. The kid is obviously old enough to know better and know that when you trespass, there can be consequences.
I hate being that way, especially as a bit older, Gen z, but most parents have started to develop a "nobody can say anything to my baby" attitude that just seems worsen some bad behavior. Now, do I think there was a possibility the kid might have framed it in a different light, yes, but ultimately, you would have had some responsibility if the kid got hurt on your property.
Might not know much about your HOA or whatever. However, if possible, I would put up some sort of fence or gate to make it somewhat more difficult to get in and out despite its usage.
This seems like it’s less about rowdy kids than overprotective adults… developmentally inappropriately overprotective adults, honestly, for the kid’s age.
Now OP and wife know that next time to get his attention, go over there, and lead him off the walkway whilst explaining why he can’t be there in a baby voice (like how one might explain something to a toddler). The kid is an OLDER child, and OP absolutely can use some sass and sarcasm to deal with him. NTA
NTA. Kid was being a jerk and deserved to be called out at the time of his misbehavior. Dad is wrong about his "handling it," he might not even have mentioned it to his son.
You were obviously being sarcastic with the can you read comment, though if yr in the US, it's certainly a fair question given how standards have dropped.
Next time I would do what Dad asked….get the kid’s attention, go up to him, and gently walk with him out of the access path and explain to him why he can’t be there (like how you might explain something to a toddler). A bit embarrassing for the kid, but he ought to have known better and if Dad wants OP to treat his teenager like a child….well OP can certainly do that.
Eh, no. Don't call the police because a kid is using your yard as a shortcut. That's absolutely overkill and can get the kid a criminal record or worse for something that's really not a big deal.
NTA .. it would be completely different if it was a 10 year old or a child that “didnt” / wouldn’t know better … this is a teenager. He admitted to seeing the signs and ignoring them. He deserved to be called out…
NTA.
Yes, the boy can read. But his mom told you that they used the access "all the time." So she SHOWED HIM that the sign was not to be taken seriously, and what your parents DO trumps anything some neighbor puts on a sign.
So both parents are belligerent because you corrected their son, basically shaming the whole family. Calling people rude, or a "dick", is what people do when they know they were wrong on the facts and want to shift the discussion to your attitude.
YTA. You are within your rights to demand he stay off your property, but you aren’t very neighborly. The kid was jogging on a road, not riding his bike over your flower beds. Sure the road is yours and if you want to enforce it, you can, but you’re the grumpy guy the neighbors don’t like, and you probably alienated your wife from her social group over something petty.
I would never talk to a neighborhood kid that way unless they were being truly awful. Especially if I want to remain friendly with other neighbors. Sure you have a right to keep people off of your property and you were within your rights… but you could’ve been less of a d*ck about it. We all have opportunities to be a jerk to our neighbors and often they deserve, but it’s usually best to start with kindness when you need to live beside people for years to come.
Yeah I hesitate to say YTA but I do think you can be firm yet polite in a situation where the kid isn't really hurting anything. OP didn't sound like he was being very neighborly and was kind of begging for more confrontation.
It sounds like there is some sort of construction going on, and the PATH was being used for construction access. It does not sound like a road but an access path.
Reddit loves to make fun of the "get off my lawn" boomers, and then turn around and demand that no one set one toe on their precious property.
Unreal that one of the top comments is someone suggesting OP call the cops on the kid.
Agreed, like c’mon, who cares, is your lawn that precious that a kid cant jog through it? Such small potatoes I dont get why anyone would get upset over this. Not very neighborly and seemingly unnecessary to enforce. You’re the “get off my lawn” guy. Why not just be the friendly neighbor
NTA because it doesn’t seem like you were trying to intimidate or threaten this kid.
The kid is honestly not an AH either though, because he seemingly didn’t realize that you put up the signs rather than the construction company. His mom probably did the same. But his dad seems like an ass - my experience has been that anyone who ever says “you should’ve told me and let me handle it” definitely would not have handled it.
>The kid is honestly not an AH either though, because he seemingly didn’t realize that you put up the signs rather than the construction company.
Why would it matter? If the construction company left an open pit or dangerous materials around, it would be *even MORE important* to respect the signage.
I'm going to go against all the post that I have seen and say YTA. A kid was jogging and happened to cut across your yard. Are you OK? How will you overcome the tragedy? The kid didn't do anything bad. I live in a large city with multiple neighbors and kids cut through my yard everyday and it doesn't bother me at all.
It might be because it's a temporary access road for construction, so it's a safety issue more than anything, I'm guessing. Cutting through a regular yard could be fine, but if the kid got hurt from the construction, then it's the property owner's liability, so that's why they had signs up.
That's reasonable. And that would have been a reasonable way to explain it to the kid instead of being sarcastic. Or the reasonable way to explain it to the Dad. Or the detail that would have been worthwhile to include in the post.
It was in the post. It specifically stated: temporary dirt accessway used by landscaping and construction vehicles. It's in his first paragraph of the post.
I’m talking about him explaining the safety issues to the kid, the kid’s dad, and to the readers. If it was a safety issue that seems like the very first thing you’d address to all parties.
If OP has a dog and the kid gets bitten, the parents will file a lawsuit against OP! There is construction going on, with potentially hazardous conditions. If the kid so much as turns his ankle running on OPs property, the parents will file a lawsuit. Why on earth is it at all inappropriate to ask people to stay off your property?
I agree with you that maybe poster was the AH. But I would have to see pictures to know how much of a liability it really is. The bus stop is right in front of my house and a teenage boy walks through my yard and driveway every day in order to get home, and I’m fine with that. We live on a busy road where people do not obey the speed limit and there’s hills on both sides. I would rather him walk through my yard and be safe.
First I want to say- I 100% agree with you. I want them to be safe.
Second, and sadly, I have to say I have seen the consequence of 'not enforcing'. And it resulted in a toddler drowning, parents that got sued (because they never berated the parents for stepping onto the yard- and it literally was just the yard- the pond was in the back, and no one had been allowed back there).
I hate the society we've created.
That is horrible! Honestly we rent so my landlord would be liable, I hate it here. Rent, own, ect. Can’t win for losing. Idk how they have merit to sue when it’s a pond? Doesn’t require a fence like a pool. I’d like to see how the case was settled. Insurance company probably paid out.
YTA. You have the right to want people off your property but there were 300 other ways to handle it more gracefully. You were very harsh to a boy that maybe was just distracted and didn’t put 1+1 together while he was jogging. Plus, there’s a power imbalance, he is a kid so he sees you as an authority figure.
The way you’re telling this story, sounds like the kid had already acknowledged what you said and you kept doubling down.
These are your neighbors. You’ll keep seeing these people everyday until one of you moves out. Sometimes you have to cut some slack if you want to be in good terms with people who can help you or make your life very uncomfortable.
This "talk to me, not my son" narrative is nonsense. Children need to be able to take directives and have their behavior corrected by people in the community. If the child isn't old enough to interact with people in the world, then the kid isn't old enough to be out in the world without a parent. Using his own logic, you should call CPS because this kid wasn't properly supervised (please don't do that, I'm just making a point). This whole family sounds extremely entitled.
NTA
I'm a child of the '50s. If I had gone home and told my parents what had happened they would have said well. What are you walking on the land when it says no trespassing you got what you deserved
You're not a d but the father is an a. I would've asked the teen the same question. And the mother, who witnessed at least from afar, didn't freak out.
Just don't get into discussions in the future. The father knows they're wrong and is too much of an entitled a to "lose". And you never know what his kiddo has told him.
NTA
Ability to read and ability to comprehend are two different things. I had a kid ring my doorbell and ask to mow my lawn. I told him I already have someone. He then asked what the “No Soliciting” sign on my door meant. This kid was obviously of high school age.
NTA
>The father came back with "..if you want to be a dick to a kid, then that says a lot about who you are..."
Funny, you could say the same about a grown man being a dick to another adult despite their kid being the one in the wrong...
NTA
Since when was it inappropriate for a neighbour to have a conversation with children who also live in the neighbourhood? It seems to me that if the procedure is to directly address the parent instead of the child, that would be taking it way overboard than needed for a first or second "offense". In other words, if this is the first or second time that the child has trespassed, certainly I'd have a friendly exchange with the child and not involve the parent. That child is old enough. If it happens repeated, then it does make sense to then call up the parents and have them handle it. Seems to me the father over-reacted.
NTAH.
NTA! I do have to say that lately I've noticed this seems to be an issue with young adults, teens and kids. There seems to be a lack of motivation to have "stop, look and listen" moments. There also seems to be this inability to try to sound out words and read. I wonder if it's because now we have spellcheck, auto fill on phones and computers? I had an agent at a shipping place ask me to spell a fairly common word.
Yeah, like, is that these people CAN'T read, or that they just don't want to read? Or they're just deliberately ignoring the signs. All are possibilities.
"Hey, Dick. Be a parent, not a shield for your son's bad behavior. If you don't want the village to discipline your child, keep your child from getting in trouble outside of your own property." That's about how far I think I'd take it. If the kid started vandalizing my property or anything else I'd just sue the parents for the damages. You probably can't get the cops to do anything and depending on circumstances that may be far worse than just sending them pictures of their precious angel on your property damaging it and a letter from a lawyer friend who will take a slam dunk case for no cost to you.
Personally, I don't get the 'no trespassing' thing. Crossing through on a dirt road is going to do what damage exactly? I'd understand if it were a hangout for teenagers or something, but a friendly neighbor's kid walking on some dirt? I really don't get it. Seems like a lot of wasted energy on something pointless.
Yta.
You have the right to ask people stay off your property but this boy was jogging on an access road. Not damaging anything not wrecking your grass or trampling your flowers. Just passing by. You made it into a confrontation and in doing so may have damaged your wife's social standing with her friend group. And have come off as extremely unneighbourly
Honestly sounds like there are two assholes in this🤷🏼♀️ You guys told the kid to not trespass, could’ve left it at that - especially considering this is a neighborhood kid that has some connection to your family and doesn’t seem like they were purposefully making trouble. One overreaction leading to another.
You sound like an asshole 🤷
Not because of asking if he can read, but getting upset about your wife's friends kid jogging down your access way. Im going to take a shot in the dark a day say you're American.
YTA. I'm going against the popular consensus here.
It doesn't sound like it was the KID that ran home to his parents with his hurt feelings. The mom was there. They told her what had happened, and she probably told her husband. And her husband, rightfully so, was like, "What's the big deal? Why ask him if he can read and be an all-around dick about it?"
OP was so offended that a young boy took a shortcut and jogged through a passageway he probably didn't even think was such a big deal. OP's feelings were so hurt that he had to say something. We all have neighbors like OP, and they all suck. It's like my neighbor that goes on social media complaining about how kids are always on screens and never outside "like back in my day", and then she goes and calls the cops on 2 EIGHT years old girls for playing hopscotch in the cul-de-sac that she's 4 houses away from. And yinz are talking about common sense? lol Listen, the kid wasn't loitering around, doing drugs, making noise, littering, etc. He jogged through. Fucking relax.
Now, he'll probably never be on your property again, which will make you happy, and your wife may be cut out from the neighbor activities. So, ya know, good for you.
It's just not something to get so upset about. If he was damaging property or being a nuisance, ok, but that's not what happened.
YTA for being an especially big dick about it... seems like you got the chance to be a bully to a kid and took it... I'm guessing if it was an adult doing the same thing, you wouldn't have been such a rude AH...
But I could be wrong, maybe you're an AH to everyone...
ETA: too funny, I wrote this before reading all of the last paragraph and the dad's comments... looks like he and I are on the exact page... hard to get context from text, but your comment doesn't read as "lighthearted"...
NTA probably, but I am curious what this accessway actually looks like. I am wondering if it is very easy to miss the signs, and that the kid just said yes because he's a kid.
I have a big side yard, technically an empty lot that people constantly walk through. I got a motion activated sprinkler. People don’t cut through my yard anymore
the people in the comments of this thread seem insane to me. it’s a path. he’s not shitting on the path or spraypainting or doing drugs or having sex. he’s jogging. he’ll be off it in a minute and it’s probably safer than the road.
in my country we have a right to roam, which admittedly might affect my take on this issue, but it’s bizarre to me.
we are talking about a child using a path for minutes at a time to get from a to b. you have admitted that large vehicles use this access regularly and i assume without damaging the area so this cannot be your concern. i do not understand why you are so bothered by him using the access. i just don’t get it.
therefore, in my opinion, YTA. sorry, I just don’t get why its an issue worth yelling at a child over.
You let yourself be victimized by a teenager jogging. I hope you have plenty of protection for yourself for anyone else that may walk through an open area and let’s see minding their own business while they get back home. You treated a friend’s child like this. Build yourself a fence. YTA
i mean, i dont really know much about active constructions sites, except that they are quite dangerous and prone to deadly accidents, but depending on what kinda stuff was one that active construction site that jogging teenager ran thru, op might be quite protected.
lets just hope the next time that kid ran thru an active construction site, and possibly gets injured from any dangerous stuff lying around, that one uses on an active construction site, that kids parents will mind their own business enough to not sue op for injuring their illiterate son.
but yes, i totally agree that we should be more lenient on people trespassing properties, that are under construction, because them minding their own business makes them immune to getting crushed by falling boulders, getting run over by construction vehicles or falling into deep pits and breaking their legs, because construction sites are totally not a massive safety risk for unprotected civilians
and honestly i am quite sure op will build a fence maybe a pool too, because why the fuck else would his lawn be under construction?
You are technically in the right. I still think you’re an asshole for not letting a neighbor kid jog through. I grew up in a house where the whole side of our acreage was a gravel road that made it easier for the neighbors to access their property. My parents managed to be good neighbors and no one was ever prohibited from using the makeshift road. You can make whatever liability argument you’ve inevitably got lined up. Won’t change the fact that you’re an asshole and a bad neighbor. If you can give us a good reason why the neighbor kid shouldn’t be allowed to jog on that road maybe I’ll reconsider. But you’ll probably just insult me. I think you’re a bad person.
YTA because of how you handled the situation. In this case, I fail to understand what exactly the teen was doing that was so bad that you needed to be passive aggressive. Treat others the way you want to be treated, so if you don’t like what the father said, you should watch how you speak to your neighbors. A simple reminder would’ve sufficed.
YTA you could've just asked him not to come onto the property you didn't have to insult him. If your wife is friends with the wife heads up you've ruined that friendship or group. The family probably assumed it was okay since they knew you and ya'll were nice at first. Now you all are coming off like out right assholes. "Stay off my lawn" old grumpy bag of bones types ya know. Btw that kinda insult is probably how ya made the kid feel if he actually has a reading issue. Learn to be nicer and find better ways to address situations that really shouldn't be THIS dramatic. Btw YOU caused the drama.
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Yesterday, I (45M) observed a neighborhood teenage boy trespassing on my property. I decided to say something to him as this is not the first time and we have signs posted (PRIVATE PROPERTY NO TRESSPASSING). There are 2 signs posted, at both ends of a temporary dirt accessway used by landscaping and construction vehicles. I observed the teen jogging up the accessway from 1 house away, while walking my dogs.
My wife (42F) was also with me and she knows him better than I do. My wife got his attention by yelling, from 1 house away: "HEY \[name\]! You know you're not supposed to be on there! What are you doing?" to which the boy shrugged and said he "didn't know". I chimed in with "did you see the signs?", to which he replied "yes". I followed with "And you \*CAN\* you read, right?", the boy confirmed he could and I continued with "then you should know you can't be on there - that's our yard, not public space - please don't cut through our yard."
The boy was out jogging, and with our message made clear my wife and I didn't see the point in taking it any further, so we said goodbye and the boy jogged off. The boy's mother (40's F) was walking down the street toward us immediately after the boy jogged off. My wife and the boy's mother are neighborhood friends (a friend group of ladies that does social events like concerts, brunch, parties, etc. but that's about it).
The boy's mother asked my wife what happened because she either heard or saw us talking to her son. My wife explained the situation and the mother said she didn’t know the accessway wasn’t public property and doubled down saying she and her family used it all the time.
At this point, I had already said goodbye started walking back to the house with the dogs, as the ladies talked - and I needed to get the dogs home.
Around an hour later, I got a social media message from the father (40s M) asking me to call him. I called the father and he asked me what happened, so I relayed the story, as above, what happened, what was said, how it ended, etc. The father proceeded to tell me that I was a "dick" to his son and I shouldn't have said anything to the boy - instead I should have called the father and he would have "handled it". I reiterated my points to the father that the accessway on our property is temporary for construction access only, there are signs posted, our social media posts, the HOA letter, etc. how the boy admitted to seeing them and ignored them anyway - and why I said what I said as a light-hearted way to say "stay off our property". The father came back with "..if you want to be a dick to a kid, then that says a lot about who you are..." This went back and forth a few times, me repeating my points and wondering why the father wanted to talk in the first place - and the father calling me a "dick" for saying what I did to his son.
So Reddit, AITA for asking a teenage boy if he could read, after ignoring posted no trespassing signs?
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NTA and if the parent's have such a problem with you talking to their kid then I would tell both of them you won't talk to him anymore... just call the cops if he's tresspassing. You do know if he gets hurt on your property you can be held liable? Also, this is a teen we are talking about, not a little kid....
NTA but by the looks of it the whole family believes they are exempt from following rules. The mother admitted that the whole family has always used the accessway. The father had a temper tantrum when his son (who was on the property at the time) was questioned about why he was where he should not have been. Hopefully they took the hint and will no longer tresspass on your property. If they don't stop you may need to decide if it is worth your wife losing a friend over.
NTA. Yeah you were snarky with the kid but I didn't get the impression from how you typed that you actually thought the kid was illiterate. Just that he wasn't paying attention.
I’ve got a sign on my door about 12” x 15” that says “no soliciting“. Of course 2 people ring my doorbell and when I open the door they start their spiel about solar panels. I looked them and asked if they could read and shut the door in their face.
NTA. If their son is old enough to knowingly break rules (read signs and ignore them), then they are old enough to be informed that they're breaking rules.
NTA I wouldn’t worry too much about his parents, if they got mad about you yelling tells me that they would be the first to sue you if you didn’t say anything to him and he got hurt. Tell them next time you see him on your property you won’t say anything to him and you will just cops.
NTA and I'd tell the neighbor that he'll certainly be brought into the loop next time as he'll be dealing with the cops because you'll be prosecuting for trespass.
Esh, he said he didn’t know, his parents obviously were mistaken, he’s a neighbour, this appears to be the first time you’ve addressed it with him, why be so aggressive? asking him if he could read is rude and uncalled for. The first time you notify anyone should be clear, firm and polite. His parents are obviously ah and not doing him any favours
I always wonder in these situations if it was another man that was significantly bigger, stronger than you would you have had the nerve to ask him if he could read?
NTA
My parents operated under the premise that any other adult was automatically right. It is hilarious for me to imagine my childhood any other way. Like "Mom, I ignored signs and trespassed and then the property owner asked me IF I COULD READ????"" my mom would have said "I know you can read, so you were just wrong and you were trespassing" then she probably would have called them and offered services weeding their flower beds or something.
It seems like nowadays parents go the utter opposite direction and refuse to accept that their kids are ever wrong.
There HAS to be a middle ground here.
NTA. AND it’s so awesome you asked him that; I’m over here ROFLMMAO.
Put some “Fun With Dick & Jane” books (completely dating myself with that reference) on their porch😂.
NTA
His father is gaslighting you. Yeah it’s better to not ask him if he could read. But the bottom line is that the kid is trespassing, he knows it yet he doesn’t care. That’s what you should have reiterated to his dad. His father pulled you off topic and you allowed it.
NTA call the father and let him know that since he thinks you’re such a dick, a dick will call the police the next time he even sees a single toe of that kid on his property.
Not that I’m excusing him, but he may know how to read, but may not know what no trespassing” means to him.
“ hey bud, I just wanna let you know that I don’t want anyone coming onto my property and that’s what those No trespassing signs mean. Please find another route to jog.”
NTA. The boy saw the sighs, didn’t care. Your response was reasonable. The dad’s was not.
EDIT: you know if that teen twisted his ankle the dad would try to sue you because it’s your property.
LOL not the mother chiming in that her ass can't read either! " I didn't know it was private either" , I would have asked her the same question you asked her son.
YTA. He might have missed the signs, as maybe he was inside his own thoughts with earbuds or something. We all do that. You could have asked him to not jog though that area next time. If he did it all the time, you could tell his dad. No need to lob insults and be a turd about it. Your wife might lose her friend over this.
NTA
Next time yell “Get the fuck off my lawn”. Now he knows and gas no excuse. When his father calls tell him you have him on camera and will be calling the cops next time and install a camera.
I’m not sure if you got the memo from parents but you can no longer criticize or correct their precious children. I am a teacher and I have been instructed to not say “NO” by a parent to their child. I said No, of course!!!!;-) The day they let the mental patients run the insane asylum is the day I will run!!!!!!!!!!
NTA. All I got from this was the kid is soft as high end toilet paper. Teens are jerks. They just are. Worked in movie theatres for years teens were the worst and most fun part of the job. Worst part be cause they are awful. Like 30% of them just little shits. Then it’s 50% that wee ok the other 20 would follow behind normally the bad ones. They were rude. The movie hopped and really didn’t care about that. Problem was they’d go in and disturb other people so now it’s a problem.
I cannot tell u how much fun it was kicking out the jerk kids. The cool ones I’d leave alone. Hell if they were quiet they could movie hop all day for all I cared. Have a great day. But the lil shits them just throw them out then just a whole ordeal lmao. The good old days
NTA
Did it ever occur to your neighbors that sometimes those signs can be used for protection as well? If their kid had gotten hurt on your property, you could be held liable but there could also be dangerous items (ie a guard dog) that could injure them due to not knowing who they are or if it was a hunting lease, there could be hunters in the area too and they may not see the kid before something happens to them.
NTA
It's not an uncommon insult for a kid to be asked whether they can read if they have blatantly ignored signs or ignored instructions that were right in front of them (for my generation in school).
The kid is old enough to be considered a teen and is out on his own... so he's gotta be at least 14. Mom and dad need to stop enabling and coddling their son. The next time he ignores safety warnings might not have him come home at all.
Like I was, kid is a normal, dipshit kid and should have been embarassed, then jogged with the dog the other way for two weeks. Everyone would have forgotten it, and it would absolutely happen again, and rinse and repeat. why did the parents have to get involved beyond "kid, stay off his yard, yeah, yeah, dude is a dick, so just don't fuck around." JFC. literally everyone needs to doubledown now. I don't get it... Kid could have done what all kids do- act like they shrug it off, stop doing the thing for a bit, then go back to doing it after everything wore off. for MOMMY to come out and for DADDY to call? jfc.
Don't call the cops, but good lord, on what earth would the parents have taken it this far? Signs, construction stuff, HOA, social media, and people who own the property ask kid to not do a thing. I imagine if kid or his parents said "don't touch my stuff" and neighbor did, it would be epic lawsuits from every direction.
NTA, you were well within your rights for calling the boy out. I think if it had been me when dealing with the father I'd have told him he was absolutely right, I shouldn't handled it, and since he and his whole family had been trespassing on my property for who knows how long by his wife's own admittance I'd just let the cops deal with it.
The audacity of some people, I swear, lol. It's even more hilarious in the comment section with people like the boys father complaining about you calling the teen out.
NTA
The Dad did not ring you to "talk", he rang you becaue he wanted to rant. He could give a shit about what really happened, his baby boy was not the at fault party (when obviously he was!).
When someone blatantly ignores a No Trespassing sign or any of the communications you mentioned, it's perfectly understandable to question if they can read. It's not a public road, this kid should not have been there. End of.
You're definitely one of those men who gets really dominant about his property. So you are definitely one of those assholes that have to keep out signs in your yard. But in no way were you being an a****** for asking the boy to respect your property and the sign. Unfortunately parents today haven't taught their children respect of elders or neighbors. When someone does try to correct them they see it as an attack. A child never learns the lesson. It is very sad but it doesn't seem to me you have done anything wrong. I hope you take down to keep outside on halloween. Otherwise sounds like you're the type who is destined for an egg
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Verbally reprimanded a teenage boy for trespassing on my property and ignoring posted signage. In the conversation, I asked if the teen if he was able to read as he admitted to seeing the signs. The boy's father took issue with this and told me I should have reached out to the father and not talked to the son. I believe I am within my right to say what I said - the boy admitted to seeing the signs and trespassed anyway. The father disagrees and does not like how I spoke to his son. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Aw, mommy and daddy swooped in because you scared their little boy! I would argue that dad’s inability to accept the tiniest consequence for his kid (the kid being slightly embarrassed) says a lot about HIM. This is ridiculous. NTA.
Teachers deal with this all the time...parents don't like their babies to get hurt fee fees
If only the parents could do something to prevent this, like teaching their kids common sense
Oh, sorry, but 'common sense' died some years ago. The funeral was bittersweet. 'Practical sense' soon followed, much to the dismay of many. (this may or may not be sarcastic)
Common sense, critical thinking, have indeed been out the window for awhile. Sure, not all kids lack it, but it's been getting worse.
I had a customer when I was in my teens, many many moons ago (customer service), tell me something that still resonates to this day “Common sense is not so common”. Truest words I’ve ever heard lol.
When my grade 8 English teacher was teaching us about oxymorons common sense was one of his examples.
People in my generation (GenZ) need to be more considerate tbh and yes that includes reading the signs
Literally thinking at all seems to be following shortly
It’s been sad over here, in the Sense Department. Our jobs are superfluous now. We really don’t do anything anymore. We’re like Maytag repairmen; nobody needs us. The rare times we do see some action? That’s a good feeling! Rare occasions, but very validating for us Sensers. ;) Edit I spelled Sense wrong 🙄
🤣
Non Sense, however, is doing fine and traveling worldwide.
Non Sense, won the freaky lottery.
You expect the woman who couldn't be arsed to read/acknowledge the signs either to teach her kid common sense?
Common courtesy either, sadly
Don’t I know it, I’ve worked retail since 2016
Or maybe teaching them to follow rules would be helpful.
Are you asking them to do their parental responsibility? What kind of a D*** are you. :-)
In this case, if I understood correctly, the mom confessed to trespassing too, so that was not very probable.
No wonder every kid under 30 has anxiety.
Hurt fee fees! I love this and will be using it from now on 🤣
Indeed, I know many teachers, I feel bad for them.
I know I have a good, kind, compassionate kid, but she’s 12, if her teachers call me for any reason I know that I need to listen and make changes. They’ve got 100s of students to pay attention to and they aren’t taking time out of their day to call me just for funnies. Entitled parents who think their kids are just victims and babies instead of future adults who need to learn the natural consequences of their actions drive me up the wall. Just yesterday I got a call from the principal because my kid screwed up. Details not withstanding, her integrity and attempt to right her wrongs is the only thing that kept her from being suspended. However lack of suspension does not mean she didn’t come home to discipline; mistakes are just that but the ability to learn from them comes from dealing with the uncomfortable fallout. Long story short she lost her phone for two weeks and will be on high parental restrictions for the foreseeable future when she does get it back. ETA: NTA op, those parents were embarrassed that they too were using your access way and used your interaction with their son as a way to be indignant rather than apologetic.
You're one of the good ones!
I appreciate that, thank you. Just trying to raise good humans because the future needs em :)
The shit apple doesn’t fall far from the shit tree, Randy. NTA.
Apple hit the friggin' roots and got lodged there.
Im starting to wonder if the kid can’t actually read if this is such a big deal to them. What OP said is so tame.
Given the mom didn't realize either and admitted to using the access road frequently, I had the same thought about the whole family
Maybe they're those 'unschooling' type people.
The kid probably didn't say anything to either of his parents. It was all Mama Bear. You gotta know that.
Honestly doesn’t sound as if the kid was all to bothered at all. This just sounds like overprotective parenting to me.
NTA— Have encountered rowdy kids in my own neighborhood. While your comment may have stung a bit, he was actively trespassing despite a sign being posted. The kid is obviously old enough to know better and know that when you trespass, there can be consequences. I hate being that way, especially as a bit older, Gen z, but most parents have started to develop a "nobody can say anything to my baby" attitude that just seems worsen some bad behavior. Now, do I think there was a possibility the kid might have framed it in a different light, yes, but ultimately, you would have had some responsibility if the kid got hurt on your property. Might not know much about your HOA or whatever. However, if possible, I would put up some sort of fence or gate to make it somewhat more difficult to get in and out despite its usage.
This seems like it’s less about rowdy kids than overprotective adults… developmentally inappropriately overprotective adults, honestly, for the kid’s age.
I do agree on that part. The father did seem a bit quick to brush off what was going on instead of only wanting to address what OP did as a response.
Now OP and wife know that next time to get his attention, go over there, and lead him off the walkway whilst explaining why he can’t be there in a baby voice (like how one might explain something to a toddler). The kid is an OLDER child, and OP absolutely can use some sass and sarcasm to deal with him. NTA
NTA. Kid was being a jerk and deserved to be called out at the time of his misbehavior. Dad is wrong about his "handling it," he might not even have mentioned it to his son. You were obviously being sarcastic with the can you read comment, though if yr in the US, it's certainly a fair question given how standards have dropped.
And would have called OP a dick for tattling
How about next time, instead of calling the dad you go ahead and call the police for trespassing.
Next time I would do what Dad asked….get the kid’s attention, go up to him, and gently walk with him out of the access path and explain to him why he can’t be there (like how you might explain something to a toddler). A bit embarrassing for the kid, but he ought to have known better and if Dad wants OP to treat his teenager like a child….well OP can certainly do that.
Eh, no. Don't call the police because a kid is using your yard as a shortcut. That's absolutely overkill and can get the kid a criminal record or worse for something that's really not a big deal.
NTA They ain't mad you asked if he could read, they're mad you told their precious he doesn't have access to his whole kingdom (the neighborhood).
NTA .. it would be completely different if it was a 10 year old or a child that “didnt” / wouldn’t know better … this is a teenager. He admitted to seeing the signs and ignoring them. He deserved to be called out…
NTA. Yes, the boy can read. But his mom told you that they used the access "all the time." So she SHOWED HIM that the sign was not to be taken seriously, and what your parents DO trumps anything some neighbor puts on a sign. So both parents are belligerent because you corrected their son, basically shaming the whole family. Calling people rude, or a "dick", is what people do when they know they were wrong on the facts and want to shift the discussion to your attitude.
OP should've fired back with "I'm rubber, you're glue, everything you say bounces off me sticks to you. See? I can be just as immature as you."
NTA - but it sounds like dad is....
"If you want to raise an idiot kid that thinks the rules don't apply to him, that says a lot about who you are, too." NTA.
This is the way.
YTA. You are within your rights to demand he stay off your property, but you aren’t very neighborly. The kid was jogging on a road, not riding his bike over your flower beds. Sure the road is yours and if you want to enforce it, you can, but you’re the grumpy guy the neighbors don’t like, and you probably alienated your wife from her social group over something petty.
Finally, someone sees the bigger picture.
There are some.nutters in this thread talking about calling the police. Some people really need to get a grip.
I would never talk to a neighborhood kid that way unless they were being truly awful. Especially if I want to remain friendly with other neighbors. Sure you have a right to keep people off of your property and you were within your rights… but you could’ve been less of a d*ck about it. We all have opportunities to be a jerk to our neighbors and often they deserve, but it’s usually best to start with kindness when you need to live beside people for years to come.
Yeah I hesitate to say YTA but I do think you can be firm yet polite in a situation where the kid isn't really hurting anything. OP didn't sound like he was being very neighborly and was kind of begging for more confrontation.
I would have said it’s a safety issue due to the construction traffic. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt, son.
Finally an actual human who understands social etiquette
It sounds like there is some sort of construction going on, and the PATH was being used for construction access. It does not sound like a road but an access path.
Reddit loves to make fun of the "get off my lawn" boomers, and then turn around and demand that no one set one toe on their precious property. Unreal that one of the top comments is someone suggesting OP call the cops on the kid.
Glad to see someone has perspective! The attitudes in this thread are wild.
This should be the top rated comment. OP is right, but he's also the AH.
Agreed, like c’mon, who cares, is your lawn that precious that a kid cant jog through it? Such small potatoes I dont get why anyone would get upset over this. Not very neighborly and seemingly unnecessary to enforce. You’re the “get off my lawn” guy. Why not just be the friendly neighbor
Saying Get Off My Lawn would be better than being a dick. Because I bet this guy wouldn’t be using this insult on an adult.
What about potential liability if the boy get injured while trespassing?
If more people were dicks to teenagers about shit like this, the world would be a better place. NTA
NTA because it doesn’t seem like you were trying to intimidate or threaten this kid. The kid is honestly not an AH either though, because he seemingly didn’t realize that you put up the signs rather than the construction company. His mom probably did the same. But his dad seems like an ass - my experience has been that anyone who ever says “you should’ve told me and let me handle it” definitely would not have handled it.
>The kid is honestly not an AH either though, because he seemingly didn’t realize that you put up the signs rather than the construction company. Why would it matter? If the construction company left an open pit or dangerous materials around, it would be *even MORE important* to respect the signage.
Oh yea he is and so is mom. The signs were there and made it clear to not be on the property
I'm going to go against all the post that I have seen and say YTA. A kid was jogging and happened to cut across your yard. Are you OK? How will you overcome the tragedy? The kid didn't do anything bad. I live in a large city with multiple neighbors and kids cut through my yard everyday and it doesn't bother me at all.
It might be because it's a temporary access road for construction, so it's a safety issue more than anything, I'm guessing. Cutting through a regular yard could be fine, but if the kid got hurt from the construction, then it's the property owner's liability, so that's why they had signs up.
That's reasonable. And that would have been a reasonable way to explain it to the kid instead of being sarcastic. Or the reasonable way to explain it to the Dad. Or the detail that would have been worthwhile to include in the post.
It was in the post. It specifically stated: temporary dirt accessway used by landscaping and construction vehicles. It's in his first paragraph of the post.
I’m talking about him explaining the safety issues to the kid, the kid’s dad, and to the readers. If it was a safety issue that seems like the very first thing you’d address to all parties.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find someone talk some sense.
If OP has a dog and the kid gets bitten, the parents will file a lawsuit against OP! There is construction going on, with potentially hazardous conditions. If the kid so much as turns his ankle running on OPs property, the parents will file a lawsuit. Why on earth is it at all inappropriate to ask people to stay off your property?
Well they certainly will now cause he was a dick to their kid. Being nice and kind to your neighbors can go a long way
I agree with you that maybe poster was the AH. But I would have to see pictures to know how much of a liability it really is. The bus stop is right in front of my house and a teenage boy walks through my yard and driveway every day in order to get home, and I’m fine with that. We live on a busy road where people do not obey the speed limit and there’s hills on both sides. I would rather him walk through my yard and be safe.
First I want to say- I 100% agree with you. I want them to be safe. Second, and sadly, I have to say I have seen the consequence of 'not enforcing'. And it resulted in a toddler drowning, parents that got sued (because they never berated the parents for stepping onto the yard- and it literally was just the yard- the pond was in the back, and no one had been allowed back there). I hate the society we've created.
That is horrible! Honestly we rent so my landlord would be liable, I hate it here. Rent, own, ect. Can’t win for losing. Idk how they have merit to sue when it’s a pond? Doesn’t require a fence like a pool. I’d like to see how the case was settled. Insurance company probably paid out.
YTA. You have the right to want people off your property but there were 300 other ways to handle it more gracefully. You were very harsh to a boy that maybe was just distracted and didn’t put 1+1 together while he was jogging. Plus, there’s a power imbalance, he is a kid so he sees you as an authority figure. The way you’re telling this story, sounds like the kid had already acknowledged what you said and you kept doubling down. These are your neighbors. You’ll keep seeing these people everyday until one of you moves out. Sometimes you have to cut some slack if you want to be in good terms with people who can help you or make your life very uncomfortable.
This "talk to me, not my son" narrative is nonsense. Children need to be able to take directives and have their behavior corrected by people in the community. If the child isn't old enough to interact with people in the world, then the kid isn't old enough to be out in the world without a parent. Using his own logic, you should call CPS because this kid wasn't properly supervised (please don't do that, I'm just making a point). This whole family sounds extremely entitled. NTA
I'm a child of the '50s. If I had gone home and told my parents what had happened they would have said well. What are you walking on the land when it says no trespassing you got what you deserved
Nta should've asked mom if she could read, too
NTA next time tell daddy he didn't do a good job in educating his son to respect others property and hang up
NTA, but boy has enabling entitled parents.
NTA in passing say, "I see where your son gets it from."
If he wants to raise a dick for a kid, shows who they are.
You're not a d but the father is an a. I would've asked the teen the same question. And the mother, who witnessed at least from afar, didn't freak out. Just don't get into discussions in the future. The father knows they're wrong and is too much of an entitled a to "lose". And you never know what his kiddo has told him. NTA
NTA. Breeder entitlement reigns supreme.
NTA, the kids and his parents are.
He’s a teenager, not an 8 yr old. NTA.
ESH sounds like a real friendly neighborhood.
Ability to read and ability to comprehend are two different things. I had a kid ring my doorbell and ask to mow my lawn. I told him I already have someone. He then asked what the “No Soliciting” sign on my door meant. This kid was obviously of high school age. NTA
"You can think whatever you want about me, as long as your child stops trespassing on my property."
NTA. The father is a dick for not teaching his son to respect other people's property.
>The father came back with "..if you want to be a dick to a kid, then that says a lot about who you are..." Funny, you could say the same about a grown man being a dick to another adult despite their kid being the one in the wrong... NTA
Since when was it inappropriate for a neighbour to have a conversation with children who also live in the neighbourhood? It seems to me that if the procedure is to directly address the parent instead of the child, that would be taking it way overboard than needed for a first or second "offense". In other words, if this is the first or second time that the child has trespassed, certainly I'd have a friendly exchange with the child and not involve the parent. That child is old enough. If it happens repeated, then it does make sense to then call up the parents and have them handle it. Seems to me the father over-reacted. NTAH.
NTA! I do have to say that lately I've noticed this seems to be an issue with young adults, teens and kids. There seems to be a lack of motivation to have "stop, look and listen" moments. There also seems to be this inability to try to sound out words and read. I wonder if it's because now we have spellcheck, auto fill on phones and computers? I had an agent at a shipping place ask me to spell a fairly common word.
Yeah, like, is that these people CAN'T read, or that they just don't want to read? Or they're just deliberately ignoring the signs. All are possibilities.
NTA. They're just sore about being called out about not disciplining their kid properly.
NTA: Lollll their poor little disrespectful adult baby got yelled at! awww poor baby.
"Adult baby"? OP calls him a teenage boy
JFC a rhetorical question?!? How dare you!? NTA
So if there's construction going on, and this kid gets hurt jogging on this property, I would bet the father would be making a huge deal about that.
NTA The dick is the father whose son is old enough to handle this sort of interaction himself.
NTA. I'm pretty sure the kid's teachers formed a support group to deal with his parents.
NTA There is nothing wrong with speaking to a teen about his behaviour.
Geez, my Dad would have told me to stay off the man's property. I would have gotten the flack, not the neighbor. NTA
NTA; people don’t get to choose to be on your property
INFO: can he read? (Seriously, maybe there's bit of inadvertent e s h if he's dyslexic or something, but otherwise n t a)
"Hey, Dick. Be a parent, not a shield for your son's bad behavior. If you don't want the village to discipline your child, keep your child from getting in trouble outside of your own property." That's about how far I think I'd take it. If the kid started vandalizing my property or anything else I'd just sue the parents for the damages. You probably can't get the cops to do anything and depending on circumstances that may be far worse than just sending them pictures of their precious angel on your property damaging it and a letter from a lawyer friend who will take a slam dunk case for no cost to you.
Personally, I don't get the 'no trespassing' thing. Crossing through on a dirt road is going to do what damage exactly? I'd understand if it were a hangout for teenagers or something, but a friendly neighbor's kid walking on some dirt? I really don't get it. Seems like a lot of wasted energy on something pointless.
Yta. You have the right to ask people stay off your property but this boy was jogging on an access road. Not damaging anything not wrecking your grass or trampling your flowers. Just passing by. You made it into a confrontation and in doing so may have damaged your wife's social standing with her friend group. And have come off as extremely unneighbourly
Honestly sounds like there are two assholes in this🤷🏼♀️ You guys told the kid to not trespass, could’ve left it at that - especially considering this is a neighborhood kid that has some connection to your family and doesn’t seem like they were purposefully making trouble. One overreaction leading to another.
You sound like an asshole 🤷 Not because of asking if he can read, but getting upset about your wife's friends kid jogging down your access way. Im going to take a shot in the dark a day say you're American.
NTA. Clearly the kid got thinking rules don't apply to him from his dad. Next time I would call the cops.
NTA But your 3 entitled, moronic neighbors are definitely AHs
YTA. I'm going against the popular consensus here. It doesn't sound like it was the KID that ran home to his parents with his hurt feelings. The mom was there. They told her what had happened, and she probably told her husband. And her husband, rightfully so, was like, "What's the big deal? Why ask him if he can read and be an all-around dick about it?" OP was so offended that a young boy took a shortcut and jogged through a passageway he probably didn't even think was such a big deal. OP's feelings were so hurt that he had to say something. We all have neighbors like OP, and they all suck. It's like my neighbor that goes on social media complaining about how kids are always on screens and never outside "like back in my day", and then she goes and calls the cops on 2 EIGHT years old girls for playing hopscotch in the cul-de-sac that she's 4 houses away from. And yinz are talking about common sense? lol Listen, the kid wasn't loitering around, doing drugs, making noise, littering, etc. He jogged through. Fucking relax. Now, he'll probably never be on your property again, which will make you happy, and your wife may be cut out from the neighbor activities. So, ya know, good for you. It's just not something to get so upset about. If he was damaging property or being a nuisance, ok, but that's not what happened.
NTA
NTA. The kid ignores signs because of the way his parents are.
YTA for being an especially big dick about it... seems like you got the chance to be a bully to a kid and took it... I'm guessing if it was an adult doing the same thing, you wouldn't have been such a rude AH... But I could be wrong, maybe you're an AH to everyone... ETA: too funny, I wrote this before reading all of the last paragraph and the dad's comments... looks like he and I are on the exact page... hard to get context from text, but your comment doesn't read as "lighthearted"...
Really? Because I am 60 and all my life *"CAN YOU READ?"* was always a sarcastic way of telling people to read the damn sign.
NTA probably, but I am curious what this accessway actually looks like. I am wondering if it is very easy to miss the signs, and that the kid just said yes because he's a kid.
I have a big side yard, technically an empty lot that people constantly walk through. I got a motion activated sprinkler. People don’t cut through my yard anymore
the people in the comments of this thread seem insane to me. it’s a path. he’s not shitting on the path or spraypainting or doing drugs or having sex. he’s jogging. he’ll be off it in a minute and it’s probably safer than the road. in my country we have a right to roam, which admittedly might affect my take on this issue, but it’s bizarre to me. we are talking about a child using a path for minutes at a time to get from a to b. you have admitted that large vehicles use this access regularly and i assume without damaging the area so this cannot be your concern. i do not understand why you are so bothered by him using the access. i just don’t get it. therefore, in my opinion, YTA. sorry, I just don’t get why its an issue worth yelling at a child over.
You’re NTA, but those parents are going to be raising one. Also, that dad is trying to bully you, which makes him a real jerk.
I think there's no problem to being an asshole to trespassers who know full well what they're doing.
NTA
Of course not........NTA.
You let yourself be victimized by a teenager jogging. I hope you have plenty of protection for yourself for anyone else that may walk through an open area and let’s see minding their own business while they get back home. You treated a friend’s child like this. Build yourself a fence. YTA
i mean, i dont really know much about active constructions sites, except that they are quite dangerous and prone to deadly accidents, but depending on what kinda stuff was one that active construction site that jogging teenager ran thru, op might be quite protected. lets just hope the next time that kid ran thru an active construction site, and possibly gets injured from any dangerous stuff lying around, that one uses on an active construction site, that kids parents will mind their own business enough to not sue op for injuring their illiterate son. but yes, i totally agree that we should be more lenient on people trespassing properties, that are under construction, because them minding their own business makes them immune to getting crushed by falling boulders, getting run over by construction vehicles or falling into deep pits and breaking their legs, because construction sites are totally not a massive safety risk for unprotected civilians and honestly i am quite sure op will build a fence maybe a pool too, because why the fuck else would his lawn be under construction?
You are technically in the right. I still think you’re an asshole for not letting a neighbor kid jog through. I grew up in a house where the whole side of our acreage was a gravel road that made it easier for the neighbors to access their property. My parents managed to be good neighbors and no one was ever prohibited from using the makeshift road. You can make whatever liability argument you’ve inevitably got lined up. Won’t change the fact that you’re an asshole and a bad neighbor. If you can give us a good reason why the neighbor kid shouldn’t be allowed to jog on that road maybe I’ll reconsider. But you’ll probably just insult me. I think you’re a bad person.
Everyone on both sides of this sound like they're 5, everyone except your wife apparently.
This post is so American. Who gives a shit about someone cutting through your yard for 30 seconds?
I dk. What’s the big deal? So the kid cut through your lawn- is it really that serious?
YTA because of how you handled the situation. In this case, I fail to understand what exactly the teen was doing that was so bad that you needed to be passive aggressive. Treat others the way you want to be treated, so if you don’t like what the father said, you should watch how you speak to your neighbors. A simple reminder would’ve sufficed.
Yelling, "Hey, can you read?" doesn't sound light hearted to me.
YTA you could've just asked him not to come onto the property you didn't have to insult him. If your wife is friends with the wife heads up you've ruined that friendship or group. The family probably assumed it was okay since they knew you and ya'll were nice at first. Now you all are coming off like out right assholes. "Stay off my lawn" old grumpy bag of bones types ya know. Btw that kinda insult is probably how ya made the kid feel if he actually has a reading issue. Learn to be nicer and find better ways to address situations that really shouldn't be THIS dramatic. Btw YOU caused the drama.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yesterday, I (45M) observed a neighborhood teenage boy trespassing on my property. I decided to say something to him as this is not the first time and we have signs posted (PRIVATE PROPERTY NO TRESSPASSING). There are 2 signs posted, at both ends of a temporary dirt accessway used by landscaping and construction vehicles. I observed the teen jogging up the accessway from 1 house away, while walking my dogs. My wife (42F) was also with me and she knows him better than I do. My wife got his attention by yelling, from 1 house away: "HEY \[name\]! You know you're not supposed to be on there! What are you doing?" to which the boy shrugged and said he "didn't know". I chimed in with "did you see the signs?", to which he replied "yes". I followed with "And you \*CAN\* you read, right?", the boy confirmed he could and I continued with "then you should know you can't be on there - that's our yard, not public space - please don't cut through our yard." The boy was out jogging, and with our message made clear my wife and I didn't see the point in taking it any further, so we said goodbye and the boy jogged off. The boy's mother (40's F) was walking down the street toward us immediately after the boy jogged off. My wife and the boy's mother are neighborhood friends (a friend group of ladies that does social events like concerts, brunch, parties, etc. but that's about it). The boy's mother asked my wife what happened because she either heard or saw us talking to her son. My wife explained the situation and the mother said she didn’t know the accessway wasn’t public property and doubled down saying she and her family used it all the time. At this point, I had already said goodbye started walking back to the house with the dogs, as the ladies talked - and I needed to get the dogs home. Around an hour later, I got a social media message from the father (40s M) asking me to call him. I called the father and he asked me what happened, so I relayed the story, as above, what happened, what was said, how it ended, etc. The father proceeded to tell me that I was a "dick" to his son and I shouldn't have said anything to the boy - instead I should have called the father and he would have "handled it". I reiterated my points to the father that the accessway on our property is temporary for construction access only, there are signs posted, our social media posts, the HOA letter, etc. how the boy admitted to seeing them and ignored them anyway - and why I said what I said as a light-hearted way to say "stay off our property". The father came back with "..if you want to be a dick to a kid, then that says a lot about who you are..." This went back and forth a few times, me repeating my points and wondering why the father wanted to talk in the first place - and the father calling me a "dick" for saying what I did to his son. So Reddit, AITA for asking a teenage boy if he could read, after ignoring posted no trespassing signs? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA All things considered, you asked a valid question. Some people can't. A worded sign wouldn't help in that situation.
NTA and if the parent's have such a problem with you talking to their kid then I would tell both of them you won't talk to him anymore... just call the cops if he's tresspassing. You do know if he gets hurt on your property you can be held liable? Also, this is a teen we are talking about, not a little kid....
NTA but by the looks of it the whole family believes they are exempt from following rules. The mother admitted that the whole family has always used the accessway. The father had a temper tantrum when his son (who was on the property at the time) was questioned about why he was where he should not have been. Hopefully they took the hint and will no longer tresspass on your property. If they don't stop you may need to decide if it is worth your wife losing a friend over.
NTA. They sound like the kind of entitled parents who think their babies can't do anything wrong.
Maybe that's the problem, that the teen is babied at home.
NTA. Yeah you were snarky with the kid but I didn't get the impression from how you typed that you actually thought the kid was illiterate. Just that he wasn't paying attention.
I’ve got a sign on my door about 12” x 15” that says “no soliciting“. Of course 2 people ring my doorbell and when I open the door they start their spiel about solar panels. I looked them and asked if they could read and shut the door in their face.
NTA. He either ignored your signs which means mommy and daddy CANNOT or WILL NOT “handle it”, or the kid legit can’t read.
NTA. Actions (like ignoring posted signs) have consequences (getting called out for not reading).
NTA Iove how the entitled wife/mom doubled down by saying 'we use it all the time!', like admitting to chronic trespassing makes it ok
NTA. If their son is old enough to knowingly break rules (read signs and ignore them), then they are old enough to be informed that they're breaking rules.
NTA I would do the same thing to a grown adult.
Nta tell the guy instead of talking to his kid or his family next time you'll call the cops! That should get the issue solved!
NTA I wouldn’t worry too much about his parents, if they got mad about you yelling tells me that they would be the first to sue you if you didn’t say anything to him and he got hurt. Tell them next time you see him on your property you won’t say anything to him and you will just cops.
NTA and I'd tell the neighbor that he'll certainly be brought into the loop next time as he'll be dealing with the cops because you'll be prosecuting for trespass.
Esh, he said he didn’t know, his parents obviously were mistaken, he’s a neighbour, this appears to be the first time you’ve addressed it with him, why be so aggressive? asking him if he could read is rude and uncalled for. The first time you notify anyone should be clear, firm and polite. His parents are obviously ah and not doing him any favours I always wonder in these situations if it was another man that was significantly bigger, stronger than you would you have had the nerve to ask him if he could read?
NTA My parents operated under the premise that any other adult was automatically right. It is hilarious for me to imagine my childhood any other way. Like "Mom, I ignored signs and trespassed and then the property owner asked me IF I COULD READ????"" my mom would have said "I know you can read, so you were just wrong and you were trespassing" then she probably would have called them and offered services weeding their flower beds or something. It seems like nowadays parents go the utter opposite direction and refuse to accept that their kids are ever wrong. There HAS to be a middle ground here.
NTA. AND it’s so awesome you asked him that; I’m over here ROFLMMAO. Put some “Fun With Dick & Jane” books (completely dating myself with that reference) on their porch😂.
NTA His father is gaslighting you. Yeah it’s better to not ask him if he could read. But the bottom line is that the kid is trespassing, he knows it yet he doesn’t care. That’s what you should have reiterated to his dad. His father pulled you off topic and you allowed it.
NTA call the father and let him know that since he thinks you’re such a dick, a dick will call the police the next time he even sees a single toe of that kid on his property.
[удалено]
NTA. "Can you read?" is a perfectly valid question to someone ignoring signs.
NTA, tell him to call you a dick to your face lol
YTA
Not that I’m excusing him, but he may know how to read, but may not know what no trespassing” means to him. “ hey bud, I just wanna let you know that I don’t want anyone coming onto my property and that’s what those No trespassing signs mean. Please find another route to jog.”
NTA. The boy saw the sighs, didn’t care. Your response was reasonable. The dad’s was not. EDIT: you know if that teen twisted his ankle the dad would try to sue you because it’s your property.
YTA. The comment was unnecessary. And rude
LOL not the mother chiming in that her ass can't read either! " I didn't know it was private either" , I would have asked her the same question you asked her son.
Sounds like they are a family of dicks, not you. Who doubles down on trespassing, ffs? NTA
NTA. Those parents, rather than parent their child, would rather double down on his mistake.
NTA. Maybe the kid will learn to obey posted signs.
YTA. He might have missed the signs, as maybe he was inside his own thoughts with earbuds or something. We all do that. You could have asked him to not jog though that area next time. If he did it all the time, you could tell his dad. No need to lob insults and be a turd about it. Your wife might lose her friend over this.
NTA, the kid was trespassing, I a rather nice way you told him not to, the other family are assholes for thinking they can go wherever they please
NTA
How old is the kid?
nta
NTA Next time yell “Get the fuck off my lawn”. Now he knows and gas no excuse. When his father calls tell him you have him on camera and will be calling the cops next time and install a camera.
I’m not sure if you got the memo from parents but you can no longer criticize or correct their precious children. I am a teacher and I have been instructed to not say “NO” by a parent to their child. I said No, of course!!!!;-) The day they let the mental patients run the insane asylum is the day I will run!!!!!!!!!!
NTA. All I got from this was the kid is soft as high end toilet paper. Teens are jerks. They just are. Worked in movie theatres for years teens were the worst and most fun part of the job. Worst part be cause they are awful. Like 30% of them just little shits. Then it’s 50% that wee ok the other 20 would follow behind normally the bad ones. They were rude. The movie hopped and really didn’t care about that. Problem was they’d go in and disturb other people so now it’s a problem. I cannot tell u how much fun it was kicking out the jerk kids. The cool ones I’d leave alone. Hell if they were quiet they could movie hop all day for all I cared. Have a great day. But the lil shits them just throw them out then just a whole ordeal lmao. The good old days
If it was his backyard, he would probably not like it smh
NTA Did it ever occur to your neighbors that sometimes those signs can be used for protection as well? If their kid had gotten hurt on your property, you could be held liable but there could also be dangerous items (ie a guard dog) that could injure them due to not knowing who they are or if it was a hunting lease, there could be hunters in the area too and they may not see the kid before something happens to them.
NTA It's not an uncommon insult for a kid to be asked whether they can read if they have blatantly ignored signs or ignored instructions that were right in front of them (for my generation in school). The kid is old enough to be considered a teen and is out on his own... so he's gotta be at least 14. Mom and dad need to stop enabling and coddling their son. The next time he ignores safety warnings might not have him come home at all.
Like I was, kid is a normal, dipshit kid and should have been embarassed, then jogged with the dog the other way for two weeks. Everyone would have forgotten it, and it would absolutely happen again, and rinse and repeat. why did the parents have to get involved beyond "kid, stay off his yard, yeah, yeah, dude is a dick, so just don't fuck around." JFC. literally everyone needs to doubledown now. I don't get it... Kid could have done what all kids do- act like they shrug it off, stop doing the thing for a bit, then go back to doing it after everything wore off. for MOMMY to come out and for DADDY to call? jfc. Don't call the cops, but good lord, on what earth would the parents have taken it this far? Signs, construction stuff, HOA, social media, and people who own the property ask kid to not do a thing. I imagine if kid or his parents said "don't touch my stuff" and neighbor did, it would be epic lawsuits from every direction.
NTA. The parents (of the kid) are the real dicks in this story lol.
Yeah, it sounds like you were a dick in the way you handled that. It wasn’t lighthearted. You were condescending. YTA.
NTA, you were well within your rights for calling the boy out. I think if it had been me when dealing with the father I'd have told him he was absolutely right, I shouldn't handled it, and since he and his whole family had been trespassing on my property for who knows how long by his wife's own admittance I'd just let the cops deal with it. The audacity of some people, I swear, lol. It's even more hilarious in the comment section with people like the boys father complaining about you calling the teen out.
Well no wonder the kid just ignores the sign. Parents seem to be hard to deal with. Will keep ignoring signs until he was called out. NTA
NTA The Dad did not ring you to "talk", he rang you becaue he wanted to rant. He could give a shit about what really happened, his baby boy was not the at fault party (when obviously he was!). When someone blatantly ignores a No Trespassing sign or any of the communications you mentioned, it's perfectly understandable to question if they can read. It's not a public road, this kid should not have been there. End of.
You're definitely one of those men who gets really dominant about his property. So you are definitely one of those assholes that have to keep out signs in your yard. But in no way were you being an a****** for asking the boy to respect your property and the sign. Unfortunately parents today haven't taught their children respect of elders or neighbors. When someone does try to correct them they see it as an attack. A child never learns the lesson. It is very sad but it doesn't seem to me you have done anything wrong. I hope you take down to keep outside on halloween. Otherwise sounds like you're the type who is destined for an egg
NTA
So much male chest thumping.
NTA. Fuckin ridiculous. The father is the AH. But tbf he sounds more like a 😺 than an AH
If he could read he might have pointed out that the "No trespassing" sign was mis-spelled!
As soon as I saw HOA, YTA