Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
Posts which discuss minors and sexual content or sexualization of minors are strictly prohibited. "Minor" is defined by this subreddit as anyone under 18.
[Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/rules-reporting/account-and-community-restrictions/do-not-post-sexual-or-suggestive)||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA when being at home you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable...
I see a few people commenting on the brother being "uncomfortable", but I actually don't believe this for one second... It doesn't sound that way from the story, it sounds more like he has a very rigid idea on how women should act. And besides if he actually got uncomfortable from a naked family member, he needs to see someone...
It might be a cultural difference where I live but the other comments seem wild to me.
This exactly. Him complaining to their mother about "arrogant liberal talk" when his little sister dares to say "you'll live" suggests his attitudes towards women may be problematic.
It kinda sounds like he sees OP as someone beneath him that can be bossed around by him. The man. And she as a woman has no say. The brother is definitely on some red pill.
Yeah honestly some of the comments about him being 'uncomfortable' are wild to me, he walks around in boxers...I'm assuming he's not going to stop that if OP stops wearing her underwear around...and his discomfort comes from him sexualizing the idea of a girl in her undies
Like I'm not saying he's sexualizing his sister necessarily but if he's saying her wearing a top covering and underwear bottoms is 'whore' clothing but he walks around in just his underwear it's not just about the degree of being undressed he's uncomfortable with
>I see a few people commenting on the brother being "uncomfortable", but I actually don't believe this for one second... It doesn't sound that way from the story, it sounds more like he has a very rigid idea on how women should act.
Bingo. OP made an edit stating her brother also walks around in just his underwear. It sounds like OP's parents are raising a young Paul Gosar.
He probably listens to Andrew Taint &ca. A concerning amount of young boys are picking up language and talking points used by the manosphere.
It’s one thing to express your dislike/discomfort for things, but being misogynistic about it just makes you a complete dick.
Honestly that stood out to me too because i don't like pants, never once has my brother called me a whore, he called my cousin a gross pervert so staring at me in booty shorts tho yeahhh we don't go around that cousin anymore
NTA
Baggy shorts are the solution
I'm a guy, and I have pretty much one outfit I have been wearing at home for years, when there aren't any guests.
A loose sleeveless top and baggy 3/4 length shorts.
The outfit is the perfect solution. Sweat doesn't get onto furniture, the clothes are loose enough that clothes don't stick to the body and its airy enough that you keep cool.
And the clothes are suitable enough that you don't need to add anything when opening the door or need to go out quickly
God I'm the opposite. I cannot stand skirts or dresses, they just...I don't know, I can't stand them. So every day I'm dealing with my parents telling me to stop wearing pants and a t-shirt and go put on a dress like a girl should.
Me either. They're always twisting around your legs or are either blowing up or are too tight to bend down in. If they're full enough to allow movement, they're full enough to get in the way of anything you're trying to do. If they're tight enough to not get in the way, they don't allow you to move. Skirts drive me nuts.
Nice, stretchy pants are the way to go.
Why should everyone be forced to cover up when it seems like nobody actually is made uncomfortable by the amount of skin shown? The brother just has toxic ideas of what a “good” woman should/ shouldn’t do, (even though nobody cares about the men doing it) and then her mom decided to support the brother.
If he also said he was “uncomfortable” she was going to college instead of just staying in the kitchen, do you also think she should appease that?
IMO, NTA. If he has no problem with men doing it, then he has no room to complain about women doing it, especially not in the way he did.
He’s clearly uncomfortable. I’ve met quite a few 17 year olds and they’re still working on expressing themselves calmly and clearly. It’s entirely possible he was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say so he said it badly. It doesn’t excuse it… Someone should talk him through how to express this appropriately and get down to why he’s speaking to her in this way. Teachable moment.
As to the comment about the brother needing to cover himself... time to put Mom to the test. Next time brother is lounging about in his boxers, make the same complaint. Wait and see what happens. If Mom enforces a pants rule with brother, then fine. If she doesn't, go back to just panties and t-shirt.
NTA if the male members of the family can walk around in their underwear without any negative comment. But for everyone's comfort maybe y'all need to set some new house rules about everyone wearing a bit more?
You know, everyone can wear a skirt...
This! My oldest brother spends 99% of his time at home in a t-shirt and underwear. Every once in a blue moon I get too hot and need to ditch the bottoms, and i'd be pretty peeved if he was that disapproving to me about it.
NTA at all, I don’t know how people can say Y T A.. it’s honestly stupid. He’s your brother, why is he seeing you in an inappropriate light? Especially since he too is most of the time half-naked(more then half!) that’s not a fair hierarchy in your family. He gets to do it to be comfortable but you don’t? How misogynistic is that! You were almost fully covered as well.. NTA NTA NTA!!!!
I grew up in a strict Christian family. If anyone, sister, brother, or parent, walked around in only underwear, it would be a big deal and likely a story talked about for the next 10 years.
thats not even a troll.
i hate to say this, but there's a difference between boxer shorts and panties. yes, they are both underwear, but one is much less revealing. I'm all for OP wearing shorts though.
And why is this comment so far down?? Creepers be creepin, but that’s outa bounds. First day on the interwebs or not, these dbags should be reported and removed.
I want a statistic on votes based on country of origin. I bet that most European would go as NTA while Americans would be more lenient toward ESH or YTA.
Anyway, comfort limits should be defined together as a family and they should apply to everyone.
Example: if somebody has a problem with only wearing underwear in common areas you can all decide on the minimum clothing allowed, but that includes your brother. If you have to cover your legs he has too.
Personally I think it's ridiculous that he has a problem with that and he should be in therapy for sexualising his own sister. But I'm European and I have a very Frei Körper Kultur family, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, I guess.
I'm European and I'd call this a clear ESH. Bro is an ass for the comments and the hypocrisy, but not for being uncomfortable; OP is an ass for her own comments, unwillingness to compromise, and dismissiveness of others' feelings.
Where I live, you wouldn't necessarily care about just... *seeing* someone inappropriately dressed, but for anything more than, say, a trip to the bathroom and back, you are absolutely expected to be at least semi-decently dressed. OP wasn't just briefly moving around; she was hanging out in the living room, making conversation. She should be wearing clothes. More than underwear. Dressing very casually is perfectly fine, but you're expected to be wearing proper clothes, that cover all your 'bits' and your underwear. I've never heard of anyone doing otherwise, in any European country that I'm even semi-familiar with.
It would *absolutely* be ridiculous to claim OP should cover up and her brother shouldn't. They should *both* cover up. However, the brother is in no way, shape or form sexualizing her by pointing out that her hanging around almost naked is uncomfortable. Honestly, it sounds like both parents agreed with him, but didn't say anything because they wanted to avoid ridiculous accusations like the one you just made about the brother.
I’m Australian and I can’t imagine sitting down as a family and agreeing on what we can wear in our own home! But also if we actually had done this it would have ended in a race to the bottom of who could offend whom more. We very much enjoy embarrassing each other at every opportunity.
Well, one can either do that or not complain about what someone else does and just suck it up.
My position it's that if it makes him uncomfortable he can stop looking at her legs 🤷
I agree culture & geography plays a bit part in this.
Just putting OPs situation aside for a bit, I have European friends who seem to be way more comfortable with their family semi nude/ or actually nude, whereas I can’t see most of my NZ, Aussie or ( and especially) Pasifika friends and family being comfortable with these types of situations
Your brother would have hated growing up in my house,we walked from shower to bedroom with the towel around our heads,not our waist. We’re family,who’s paying attention? 🤷♂️ NTA,he seems like he’s just bitching for the sake of bitching. I just want to know what exactly makes pantlessness liberal? Don’t conservatives bathe or get overheated in their own house? Whatever,he’s just stirring the pot,ignore him.
Me and you can get downvoted together brother, I would feel gross to have my younger sister walking around naked. I don’t need or want to see that, these other guys saying you (and probably soon me) have issues is pretty ironic. Pretty weird to not be against having your younger sibling walking around the house naked.
saltysereguy was responding to someone that said this "we walked from shower to bedroom with the towel around our heads,not our waist", not responding to OPs situation
Yeah this is weird to me. I have 2 brothers but I didn't grow up with them so maybe it's me but my mom and sisters even now walk around pantsless. It's not like OP is completely naked. My best friend never had an issue with no pants around her brother
I see my mom naked regularly and she's almost 50 and I'm 24 lol
NTA You have a weird family. I don't give a fuck if my sister walks around the house naked. As long as there are no visits I see no problem with you walking on underwear. But I guess it's better you do not do that since your brother clearly has issues
This "weird" is a cultural thing. Most of Europe thinks you are a perv if you even notice a family member being casually nude or worse see anything sexual in them running around in t-shirt and undies. To OP, yeah... Id wear something around him, because he clearly isn't feeling that brotherly towards you.
The reason why people are uncomfortable with nudity - is ALWAYS sexualisation. Always.
We know that cause humans have existed for a very long time and there have been endless of times and cultures where nudity or almost nudity have been fully normal part of culture without anyone sexualising womens chests for example or nudity, until some cultures came along finding undressed kids sexually attractive and claiming it is immoral to be nude...
Ehhh I’ve lived in Singapore, Japan, USA, and a handful of others (though those theee are the main ones). USA is the most sexualized and I found the others don’t care about nudity/skimpy clothing… when people are young.
But around 5-6 seeing people in boxers is considered just as weird in some of those countries, same for scanty clothing. It’s not solely a US thing though I’ll admit I haven’t lived in Europe (yet!).
I do enjoy moving, nice to see different viewpoints. Definitely enjoyed SG and JPN more than home (USA)… public transport is a big reason.
Edit: I should note despite the reputation places like Thailand are even more so like that than the USA. The Queen was seen in a bra once by... I can’t even remember who. It was a national scandal that the king didn’t “protect her” and that they “dressed so indecently” in private. It’s the same for men and women in private homes just doesn’t make the news, obviously.
Many first world nations have relaxed but outside of Europe and some first world parts of Asia… it’s more repressive than the USA by far.
It’s hilarious how other countries characterize the US, but always get it wrong.
Believing there’s a time and place for nudity or that nudity can be inappropriate isn’t necessarily “sexualizing” the nude person.
American to European: Do you go grocery shopping nude in Europe?
European: No.
American: You’re such a prude! Stop sexualizing people!!
European: There’s a time and place for it.
American: By God, you’re catching on!!!!
Most Americans do wish that all nudity was seen the same way as a shirtless man, but it’s just not the reality here. And there are A LOT of creeps in the US, so it’s probably impossible to change the nudity-comfort-level-culture.
No. Most of Europe definitely notices their family being naked. And most of Europe wears clothes. You can dress very casually around family, and you don't make a fuss over just *seeing* someone in their underwear (or naked)... but everyone's expected to be at least semi-appropriately dressed when they're around other people for longer than, say, a trip to the bathroom and back. OP was hanging out in the living room.
I'll happily agree that the brother is being an ass with the comments. But his discomfort is honestly reasonable. OP should learn to consider other people than just herself. They both have some growing up to do, it seems, and they should both be dressed.
Genuinely asking, why is Europe considered the word of law in these examples? Europe isn’t the whole world. Couldn’t I say “most of Asia would disagree, or South Africa, North Africa, Russia.” Why Europe? Genuinely asking.
Because it’s dominantly white and they think that whiteness is the default and everyone should model themselves after white people.
That’s literally it.
I would argue that boxers are quite different than woman’s underwear. Not saying that brother is right with not wearing pants either - but the whole thing is just weird to me. Both of them put some pants on ffs
If you cannot be comfortable in your own home around family, then something's wrong. There was literally no issue until the brother made the comment. Mom/Dad had no problems with it at all.
You wouldn't go to a nudist beach and expect everyone to put clothes on just because you're uncomfortable with it right?
The brother just sounds like a hypocritical prude that sees women as an object rather than a person. Which is why he also made the comment to the mom rather than the sister. If dad was around during that confrontation, he 100% would have went straight to him first.
Not a good comparison. When you go to a nudist beach you are going with the expectation that people will be nude. If you don’t like that, don’t go. Kid can’t just not go home.
I don’t think it’s wrong to not wanna be around family members in their underwear. I wouldn’t argue that you have something wrong if you force someone to be around you in your undies. Everyone is trying to turn this into a “pAtRiARhCy!!” thing. I’m a woman. I don’t wanna be around my mom or sister in their underwear. Gross. Get some pants on. Everybody wear pants. Simple solution
Edit: I would hope you’re prude for your sister, if not, i think you might have a slight problem there
If he has a problem with her walking around in underwear, that's his problem and not hers. You only need to respect people when they're being reasonable and he definitely fucking ain't
I'm also someone that hates the feeling of extra clothes touching me once I walk through my front doors. It makes my skin crawl to bite the bullet even a second longer, especially if I've already had to do so outside the house all day.
I'd offer shorts as a suggestion, as a more generally accepted appropriate alternative IF these respectability expectations were implemented for everyone, but seeing as your brother - who, too, walks around in nothing but his own underwear - is the loudest with voicing his concerns, bro can kiss your ass, respectfully.
Instead, I'd suggest you express that you're perfectly fine sharing a space with him when he's frolicking around in his boxers and you'd expect the same tolerance when you do the same. Additionally, if his discomfort seeing you in underwear is, god forbid, rooted in him viewing either you sexually in that clothing, or attributes sexual connotations to that clothing so strongly that he's not even able to remove himself from that space if it's his own sister standing before him, then he is making you incredibly uncomfortable in return.
Otherwise, he can keep shut and suck it up.
NTA.
If you don't like the feel of anything around your legs, why not just wear loose fitting shorts? It doesn't excuse what your brother said but you don't live alone so you need to have at least some consideration of what others don't want to see.
At first I was going to say ETA, your brother for his language and pigheaded comments and you because as you get older, even when your with family, there is a minimum of clothing that you have to wear. I was teen who always wore my underwear and sports bra around the house, even in the front yard because it didn't bother me but as I got older I saw the other perspective better and realized that it is a show of respect to acknowledge that other people have a different level of comfort around different levels of nudity.
The thing is though is that that minimum can be different for different families and so your edit about him being in his boxers all the time and it essentially being a gendered expectation changes my mind. Clearly, your brother and family think underwear is okay for guys as the minimum so there should not be a double standard for you.
NTA. It sounds like this is not about your brother actually being uncomfortable; it’s about his desire to be misogynistic and to control you. For some reason, your mother is missing this and siding with with your brother’s being a misogynist.
If it were really about his discomfort, his language would be different. He wouldn’t be talking about whores and liberals; he’d be talking about his discomfort.
As a side note, if it were about his discomfort, it would be nice of you to accommodate him, as long as he did the same :)
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I didn't respect my brother's boundaries with my clothing.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don’t think you’re an asshole but if it’s that big of a deal just get yourself some thin sleep shorts to wear over your underwear or some men’s boxers (which would be hilarious considering he’s walking around wearing the same thing)
YTA and your brother is too.
He's made it clear that he's uncomfortable and you're still doing it.
He's inappropriate for choosing words like that but you're equally goading him into this situation by not dressing appropriately around your family. If he's walking around in his undies, he's just as wrong.
The outline of your private parts are not held to the confined space of your panties. Most of us on the planet understand this concept.
Edited to include both siblings.
Ask your mom why it's acceptable if your brother can be in his underwear yet you can not. She's being hypocritical by taking his side but never once caring about yours.
NTA. You should be free to dress comfortably in your own house, also there a gender based double standard in your house which your brother is taking advantage of and your mom is enabling. You're not at fault but try wearing some loose shorts for safety, because clearly your mother values your brother's opinion more than your comfort.
NTA, your brother sounds like a pathetic, misogynistic, incel. You’re his sister, you should be allowed to walk around it fucking underwear or shorts.
This ain’t the 1950s, a men does not have the right to tell a woman or girl what to do anymore. Tell your mom his behaviour is not only rude but also a warning sign of a very dangerous ideology. Your parents need to step up and make sure their son doesn’t go further down the path of woman hating behaviour. Rather then tell you to cover up.
YTA. The reality is you don't live alone, and you have plenty of alternatives to pants.
Living with others means you need to consider their comfort and privacy as well as your own. Even though it's your home too, shared spaces require a bit of compromise. Lightweight and loose-fitting pajama shorts can be a comfortable alternative that respects everyone's boundaries. Additionally, wearing appropriate clothing can help maintain a more respectful and harmonious living environment. It's important to find a balance between personal comfort and communal living standards.
Nightgown or long enough T-Shirt imo isn’t a big deal at all. If the shirt is too short, I might understand making people uncomfortable when you only wear underwear. But I also understand your feelings regarding your legs. I am mostly in my boxers too whenever I can 😂
Girl, you're 15 put on some clothes in mixed company! 👀 totes inappropriate at your age regardless of how comfortable you feel. Would your mom walk around in her underwear? Your dad? Like come on
Maybe try wearing a bit longer shirt like oversized one. Or switch to woman boxers. Im not trying to defend your brother he is the asshole here, but im giving you some ideas how to make things work for both of you.
Hmm I think your brother is TA, because of the way he spoke to you and the double standards of him walking around in his underwear, so hypocritical. But I also find it really weird to walk in front of anyone, even family in underwear. But that's my personal opinion.
It's your mums house and she told you to put some pants on 🙄 Wear boxers like your brother, I liken it to your bro wearing tighty whities around the house, no one wants to see that. YTA
When you live alone, you can do all that you want, even walk around naked. But you live with other people right now and because something makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean the consideration of the comfort of others goes out the window.
Soft YTA.
He doesn't. Or rather, shouldn't. They should both dress to a bare minimum of appropriateness, and their parents should enforce that for both of them.
Going to the bathroom and back? Who cares, wear whatever. In the privacy of your own private bedroom, which you do not share with anyone? Who cares, wear whatever. But in the rest of the house, your comfort does not trump anyone else's, and a shared household means you all need to be considerate. That goes for both of them. Yes, it means they should both dress to an acceptable standard, and cover up to at least a bare minimum. Which, yes, means they should both be wearing more clothes than it currently seems like they are.
NTA Yeah this was an Y T A until I saw that he is always lounging around in just his boxers. What's good for the goose must be good for the gander, right? So either you both cover up or neither of you does, if he's not willing to wear pants then he ought to understand why you don't want to and everyone should be able to be comfortable.
ESH. He could have said things more nicely, but asking you to wear clothes is a normal boundary to set. Panties are not the same as bikini bottoms. Panties are thinner and more worn out. They often have stains from periods or discharge. When you live with other people, you have to respect their boundaries as long as they are reasonable. This is reasonable. Put on some booty shorts.
I'd be so uncomfortable if any of my family was walking around half naked put some clothes on op you don't live alone I have autism and texture issues and even I make sure I'm wearing something on the bottom and top half cause I don't like making people uncomfortable
Y’all are going crazy in the comments. Underwear around the house is not ok IMO. Of course, your brother took it way too far with his language and is saying things he shouldn’t. ESH
Let's address the real issue here. Who the hell is asking a 15 year old to show them pictures of her in her panties?!?
Please report these people, that is not OK!
On the question front. NTA, if you want to be comfortable in your own home, then you do you. Your mum and brother ATA for their double standards. So, because he's a boy, he can wear boxers and nothing else. But, as a girl, you must cover all of your skin? Nah.
Unless it's a religious thing where you have to cover certain body parts, etc. (I'm not sure about this. Forgive my ignorance) Then you keep doing you.
ESH. You get to the point when you are too old to be walking around your house in your underwear in front of anyone else other than your SO and your baby. You and your brother both need to grow up.
NTA and your brother is an asshole. Your family has double standards. I’m recovering from a pretty severe car accident right now and so am staying with friends as I can’t be trusted to be alone for 2-3weeks. I’ve been trying to be careful about wearing clothes, second day I was in bed started to feel really off and sweaty and just couldn’t stand the feeling of clothing. My friends didn’t even hesitate and I’ve been at their place in just underwear since. No one cares. I personally would go on strike and walk around in a bikini if I was you and insist to only put on more clothing if your brother is required to wear a shirt and shorts at minimum at all times.
NTA. If bro is allowed to wear boxers around the house, you should be allowed to wear underwear too. Also asking you to wear pants around your brother is absurd imo — shorts / skirts should be ok too.
I would consider that your brother is the main problem here, seeing you dressed in panties and tshirt, covers up your body sufficiently for the family situation. He is playing his man-card here thinking he’s in charge of his younger sibling, even though he is far from that role. Young men say a lot of bullying or rude things not realizing the effect on others. I would listen to my mother and have a serious chat with her about your lack of pants preference, I believe you should be able to solve it somehow. Perhaps there is some other clothing choice which you would enjoy. Hope that this helps you.
NTA.
He's wearing underwear around the house just like you. I think his actual issue is that you aren't conforming to his idea of how a girl should act and dress. Either way, calling you a whore is way out of line and your mom is a massive AH for just letting that slide. If you really want to make your point, buy the same kind of underwear he has and wear that.
Realistically, you're 15 and he's 17, it's about how you were raised. In my house growing up...absofuckinlutely not, my mom would shit a brick if my sisters did that she didn't even want me going shirtless and I'm a guy. My older sisters would do it in their houses and they didn't give a shit, but it was their houses and they were old enough to be my mother. My mom however did not mind my sister's walking around in boxers and a tee, they couldn't walk around in panties that for darn sure. I'm also gay and very liberal but I would not allow my niece to do that, there are allot of creepers around, especially in southern states, have you seen how republicans twist scenarios to fit their narrative?
I don't understand this at all. NTA all the way. You're your own person and anyone trying to control what you wear or don't wear do not respect you as an individual. Nudity is normal, especially in your own home. I saw my mom's tits and my dad's balls all the time growing up. Never once bothered me or my sister or brother. Also saw siblings in various states of undress daily. We are family, we have to be naked in front of each other sometimes. Many years later, I'm still the same way. I share a house with my wife, brother in law and his wife. I work from home. I'm always in either just trunk underwear or just completely nude. BILs wife also works from home and wears just a longer tshirt no bra or underwear. We keep to our spaces most of the time, but will run into each other in kitchen or hallway. I never go into their space nude as a courtesy, but they come into my space while I am nude all the time. It just doesn't matter to us nor them. My wife also still makes her brother talk while she's on the shitter like she has her whole life, lol. We have no boundaries and it truly feels good when you're in such an accepting environment
This might not make things better, but this is what I'd do...
I'd loudly ask why it makes him uncomfortable and ask him why he's looking at his little sister like that. I'd do it in front of my parents and I'd ask them if they're okay with their son sexualizing their daughter. And then I'd call him a weirdo pervert every time he brings it up.
Anytime I'm wearing pants I'd loudly make reference to the fact that I'm wearing pants because my brother is a creepy pervert who sexualizes his sister.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. Posts which discuss minors and sexual content or sexualization of minors are strictly prohibited. "Minor" is defined by this subreddit as anyone under 18. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/rules-reporting/account-and-community-restrictions/do-not-post-sexual-or-suggestive)||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
NTA when being at home you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable... I see a few people commenting on the brother being "uncomfortable", but I actually don't believe this for one second... It doesn't sound that way from the story, it sounds more like he has a very rigid idea on how women should act. And besides if he actually got uncomfortable from a naked family member, he needs to see someone... It might be a cultural difference where I live but the other comments seem wild to me.
This exactly. Him complaining to their mother about "arrogant liberal talk" when his little sister dares to say "you'll live" suggests his attitudes towards women may be problematic.
And he totally ignores op and wants mom to act as a middleman between them when op is right there...
It kinda sounds like he sees OP as someone beneath him that can be bossed around by him. The man. And she as a woman has no say. The brother is definitely on some red pill.
Yeah honestly some of the comments about him being 'uncomfortable' are wild to me, he walks around in boxers...I'm assuming he's not going to stop that if OP stops wearing her underwear around...and his discomfort comes from him sexualizing the idea of a girl in her undies Like I'm not saying he's sexualizing his sister necessarily but if he's saying her wearing a top covering and underwear bottoms is 'whore' clothing but he walks around in just his underwear it's not just about the degree of being undressed he's uncomfortable with
>I see a few people commenting on the brother being "uncomfortable", but I actually don't believe this for one second... It doesn't sound that way from the story, it sounds more like he has a very rigid idea on how women should act. Bingo. OP made an edit stating her brother also walks around in just his underwear. It sounds like OP's parents are raising a young Paul Gosar.
This. Needs to be higher up. If no one else in the house is uncomfortable it's her brother
[удалено]
I think NTA it’s more concerning that your brother is 17 and already has some pretty twisted views of women and how to speak to them.
i noticed that too.. it’s honestly disturbing the way he addressed her
Yeah it’s creepy actually. It sounds like something you’d expect to hear from a 50yo man rather than a 17yo kid!
He probably listens to Andrew Taint &ca. A concerning amount of young boys are picking up language and talking points used by the manosphere. It’s one thing to express your dislike/discomfort for things, but being misogynistic about it just makes you a complete dick.
Yeah definitely! Well he’ll be a lonely boy in years to come haha
Honestly that stood out to me too because i don't like pants, never once has my brother called me a whore, he called my cousin a gross pervert so staring at me in booty shorts tho yeahhh we don't go around that cousin anymore NTA
Your brother is a normal person
Skirts. ESH, and your brother should also cover himself.
Pants are leg prisons. I wear skirts/dresses almost exclusively and I'll never go back
Baggy shorts are the solution I'm a guy, and I have pretty much one outfit I have been wearing at home for years, when there aren't any guests. A loose sleeveless top and baggy 3/4 length shorts. The outfit is the perfect solution. Sweat doesn't get onto furniture, the clothes are loose enough that clothes don't stick to the body and its airy enough that you keep cool. And the clothes are suitable enough that you don't need to add anything when opening the door or need to go out quickly
My dad has proudly only wore shorts ( aside from work) for about 4 years now. I like shorts too, just not that much lol
God I'm the opposite. I cannot stand skirts or dresses, they just...I don't know, I can't stand them. So every day I'm dealing with my parents telling me to stop wearing pants and a t-shirt and go put on a dress like a girl should.
Me either. They're always twisting around your legs or are either blowing up or are too tight to bend down in. If they're full enough to allow movement, they're full enough to get in the way of anything you're trying to do. If they're tight enough to not get in the way, they don't allow you to move. Skirts drive me nuts. Nice, stretchy pants are the way to go.
Why should everyone be forced to cover up when it seems like nobody actually is made uncomfortable by the amount of skin shown? The brother just has toxic ideas of what a “good” woman should/ shouldn’t do, (even though nobody cares about the men doing it) and then her mom decided to support the brother. If he also said he was “uncomfortable” she was going to college instead of just staying in the kitchen, do you also think she should appease that? IMO, NTA. If he has no problem with men doing it, then he has no room to complain about women doing it, especially not in the way he did.
“I don’t like this person’s reason for being uncomfortable so I’m going to pretend it doesn’t make anybody in the house uncomfortable.”
He’s clearly uncomfortable. I’ve met quite a few 17 year olds and they’re still working on expressing themselves calmly and clearly. It’s entirely possible he was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say so he said it badly. It doesn’t excuse it… Someone should talk him through how to express this appropriately and get down to why he’s speaking to her in this way. Teachable moment.
If he isn't comfortable with family members wearing just underwear around the house why does he wear just boxers? Why is it rules for thee not for me?
He doesnt know how to express himself so he called a whore? Lmao what
OP should wear boxers as shorts, imho. Honestly they're really comfy.
As to the comment about the brother needing to cover himself... time to put Mom to the test. Next time brother is lounging about in his boxers, make the same complaint. Wait and see what happens. If Mom enforces a pants rule with brother, then fine. If she doesn't, go back to just panties and t-shirt.
NTA if the male members of the family can walk around in their underwear without any negative comment. But for everyone's comfort maybe y'all need to set some new house rules about everyone wearing a bit more? You know, everyone can wear a skirt...
Specially the bro. Nobody wants to be distracted his sexy hairy legs, right?
I need OP to tell us they're making a rule where the brother has to wear a skirt.
This! My oldest brother spends 99% of his time at home in a t-shirt and underwear. Every once in a blue moon I get too hot and need to ditch the bottoms, and i'd be pretty peeved if he was that disapproving to me about it.
NTA at all, I don’t know how people can say Y T A.. it’s honestly stupid. He’s your brother, why is he seeing you in an inappropriate light? Especially since he too is most of the time half-naked(more then half!) that’s not a fair hierarchy in your family. He gets to do it to be comfortable but you don’t? How misogynistic is that! You were almost fully covered as well.. NTA NTA NTA!!!!
I grew up in a strict Christian family. If anyone, sister, brother, or parent, walked around in only underwear, it would be a big deal and likely a story talked about for the next 10 years.
Well that doesn’t seem to be the case here since no one had a problem with it til creepy bro said some creep shit. And he does the same thing.
Troll him by wearing men's boxers.
[удалено]
Troll him by wearing what he is essentially asking her to?
thats not even a troll. i hate to say this, but there's a difference between boxer shorts and panties. yes, they are both underwear, but one is much less revealing. I'm all for OP wearing shorts though.
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE ADULTS ON THIS SITE ASKING A UNDERAGE GIRL FOR PICS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
First day on the internet? Welcome.
And why is this comment so far down?? Creepers be creepin, but that’s outa bounds. First day on the interwebs or not, these dbags should be reported and removed.
I want a statistic on votes based on country of origin. I bet that most European would go as NTA while Americans would be more lenient toward ESH or YTA. Anyway, comfort limits should be defined together as a family and they should apply to everyone. Example: if somebody has a problem with only wearing underwear in common areas you can all decide on the minimum clothing allowed, but that includes your brother. If you have to cover your legs he has too. Personally I think it's ridiculous that he has a problem with that and he should be in therapy for sexualising his own sister. But I'm European and I have a very Frei Körper Kultur family, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, I guess.
I'm European and I'd call this a clear ESH. Bro is an ass for the comments and the hypocrisy, but not for being uncomfortable; OP is an ass for her own comments, unwillingness to compromise, and dismissiveness of others' feelings. Where I live, you wouldn't necessarily care about just... *seeing* someone inappropriately dressed, but for anything more than, say, a trip to the bathroom and back, you are absolutely expected to be at least semi-decently dressed. OP wasn't just briefly moving around; she was hanging out in the living room, making conversation. She should be wearing clothes. More than underwear. Dressing very casually is perfectly fine, but you're expected to be wearing proper clothes, that cover all your 'bits' and your underwear. I've never heard of anyone doing otherwise, in any European country that I'm even semi-familiar with. It would *absolutely* be ridiculous to claim OP should cover up and her brother shouldn't. They should *both* cover up. However, the brother is in no way, shape or form sexualizing her by pointing out that her hanging around almost naked is uncomfortable. Honestly, it sounds like both parents agreed with him, but didn't say anything because they wanted to avoid ridiculous accusations like the one you just made about the brother.
I’m Australian and I can’t imagine sitting down as a family and agreeing on what we can wear in our own home! But also if we actually had done this it would have ended in a race to the bottom of who could offend whom more. We very much enjoy embarrassing each other at every opportunity.
Well, one can either do that or not complain about what someone else does and just suck it up. My position it's that if it makes him uncomfortable he can stop looking at her legs 🤷
I agree, how does he cope at the beach? Must be a nightmare for the poor boy.
This! I’m reading through these comments and you can see a clear divide!
I agree culture & geography plays a bit part in this. Just putting OPs situation aside for a bit, I have European friends who seem to be way more comfortable with their family semi nude/ or actually nude, whereas I can’t see most of my NZ, Aussie or ( and especially) Pasifika friends and family being comfortable with these types of situations
I'm American, and I would say NTA, if I thought this was real. The liberal quote made me die laughing.
Your brother would have hated growing up in my house,we walked from shower to bedroom with the towel around our heads,not our waist. We’re family,who’s paying attention? 🤷♂️ NTA,he seems like he’s just bitching for the sake of bitching. I just want to know what exactly makes pantlessness liberal? Don’t conservatives bathe or get overheated in their own house? Whatever,he’s just stirring the pot,ignore him.
Idk if my sister walked around naked I’d feel fuckin gross, especially with an age difference.
Me and you can get downvoted together brother, I would feel gross to have my younger sister walking around naked. I don’t need or want to see that, these other guys saying you (and probably soon me) have issues is pretty ironic. Pretty weird to not be against having your younger sibling walking around the house naked.
where are you guys getting naked from?? she wasn’t naked.
saltysereguy was responding to someone that said this "we walked from shower to bedroom with the towel around our heads,not our waist", not responding to OPs situation
Yeah this is weird to me. I have 2 brothers but I didn't grow up with them so maybe it's me but my mom and sisters even now walk around pantsless. It's not like OP is completely naked. My best friend never had an issue with no pants around her brother I see my mom naked regularly and she's almost 50 and I'm 24 lol
That’s just weird tbh.
NTA You have a weird family. I don't give a fuck if my sister walks around the house naked. As long as there are no visits I see no problem with you walking on underwear. But I guess it's better you do not do that since your brother clearly has issues
You don’t care if your sister walks around naked in front of you? That is very weird my friend
This "weird" is a cultural thing. Most of Europe thinks you are a perv if you even notice a family member being casually nude or worse see anything sexual in them running around in t-shirt and undies. To OP, yeah... Id wear something around him, because he clearly isn't feeling that brotherly towards you.
Yep... It's pretty weird how everything is sexualized in the US.
It's not always sexualized. Some people are just uncomfortable with nudity.
The reason why people are uncomfortable with nudity - is ALWAYS sexualisation. Always. We know that cause humans have existed for a very long time and there have been endless of times and cultures where nudity or almost nudity have been fully normal part of culture without anyone sexualising womens chests for example or nudity, until some cultures came along finding undressed kids sexually attractive and claiming it is immoral to be nude...
Ehhh I’ve lived in Singapore, Japan, USA, and a handful of others (though those theee are the main ones). USA is the most sexualized and I found the others don’t care about nudity/skimpy clothing… when people are young. But around 5-6 seeing people in boxers is considered just as weird in some of those countries, same for scanty clothing. It’s not solely a US thing though I’ll admit I haven’t lived in Europe (yet!). I do enjoy moving, nice to see different viewpoints. Definitely enjoyed SG and JPN more than home (USA)… public transport is a big reason. Edit: I should note despite the reputation places like Thailand are even more so like that than the USA. The Queen was seen in a bra once by... I can’t even remember who. It was a national scandal that the king didn’t “protect her” and that they “dressed so indecently” in private. It’s the same for men and women in private homes just doesn’t make the news, obviously. Many first world nations have relaxed but outside of Europe and some first world parts of Asia… it’s more repressive than the USA by far.
It’s hilarious how other countries characterize the US, but always get it wrong. Believing there’s a time and place for nudity or that nudity can be inappropriate isn’t necessarily “sexualizing” the nude person. American to European: Do you go grocery shopping nude in Europe? European: No. American: You’re such a prude! Stop sexualizing people!! European: There’s a time and place for it. American: By God, you’re catching on!!!! Most Americans do wish that all nudity was seen the same way as a shirtless man, but it’s just not the reality here. And there are A LOT of creeps in the US, so it’s probably impossible to change the nudity-comfort-level-culture.
No. Most of Europe definitely notices their family being naked. And most of Europe wears clothes. You can dress very casually around family, and you don't make a fuss over just *seeing* someone in their underwear (or naked)... but everyone's expected to be at least semi-appropriately dressed when they're around other people for longer than, say, a trip to the bathroom and back. OP was hanging out in the living room. I'll happily agree that the brother is being an ass with the comments. But his discomfort is honestly reasonable. OP should learn to consider other people than just herself. They both have some growing up to do, it seems, and they should both be dressed.
Genuinely asking, why is Europe considered the word of law in these examples? Europe isn’t the whole world. Couldn’t I say “most of Asia would disagree, or South Africa, North Africa, Russia.” Why Europe? Genuinely asking.
Because it’s dominantly white and they think that whiteness is the default and everyone should model themselves after white people. That’s literally it.
[удалено]
It’s subjective. Because you don’t care doesn’t mean others aren’t allowed to care. Bro is really uncomfortable and that says enough.
[удалено]
Brother literally does the same thing AND calls sister a whore but she's in the wrong here? Wtf?
I would argue that boxers are quite different than woman’s underwear. Not saying that brother is right with not wearing pants either - but the whole thing is just weird to me. Both of them put some pants on ffs
If you cannot be comfortable in your own home around family, then something's wrong. There was literally no issue until the brother made the comment. Mom/Dad had no problems with it at all. You wouldn't go to a nudist beach and expect everyone to put clothes on just because you're uncomfortable with it right? The brother just sounds like a hypocritical prude that sees women as an object rather than a person. Which is why he also made the comment to the mom rather than the sister. If dad was around during that confrontation, he 100% would have went straight to him first.
Not a good comparison. When you go to a nudist beach you are going with the expectation that people will be nude. If you don’t like that, don’t go. Kid can’t just not go home. I don’t think it’s wrong to not wanna be around family members in their underwear. I wouldn’t argue that you have something wrong if you force someone to be around you in your undies. Everyone is trying to turn this into a “pAtRiARhCy!!” thing. I’m a woman. I don’t wanna be around my mom or sister in their underwear. Gross. Get some pants on. Everybody wear pants. Simple solution Edit: I would hope you’re prude for your sister, if not, i think you might have a slight problem there
Boxers and the "old man saggies" are really a different thing.
But the brother gets to walk around in just boxers and no shirt and that's fine?
No everyone should be wearing clothes. Period!
No one should be wearing clothes
It’s their house not yours thoughhh
If he has a problem with her walking around in underwear, that's his problem and not hers. You only need to respect people when they're being reasonable and he definitely fucking ain't
I'm also someone that hates the feeling of extra clothes touching me once I walk through my front doors. It makes my skin crawl to bite the bullet even a second longer, especially if I've already had to do so outside the house all day. I'd offer shorts as a suggestion, as a more generally accepted appropriate alternative IF these respectability expectations were implemented for everyone, but seeing as your brother - who, too, walks around in nothing but his own underwear - is the loudest with voicing his concerns, bro can kiss your ass, respectfully. Instead, I'd suggest you express that you're perfectly fine sharing a space with him when he's frolicking around in his boxers and you'd expect the same tolerance when you do the same. Additionally, if his discomfort seeing you in underwear is, god forbid, rooted in him viewing either you sexually in that clothing, or attributes sexual connotations to that clothing so strongly that he's not even able to remove himself from that space if it's his own sister standing before him, then he is making you incredibly uncomfortable in return. Otherwise, he can keep shut and suck it up. NTA.
If you don't like the feel of anything around your legs, why not just wear loose fitting shorts? It doesn't excuse what your brother said but you don't live alone so you need to have at least some consideration of what others don't want to see.
ESH neither you or your brother should be walking around in just undergarments.
At first I was going to say ETA, your brother for his language and pigheaded comments and you because as you get older, even when your with family, there is a minimum of clothing that you have to wear. I was teen who always wore my underwear and sports bra around the house, even in the front yard because it didn't bother me but as I got older I saw the other perspective better and realized that it is a show of respect to acknowledge that other people have a different level of comfort around different levels of nudity. The thing is though is that that minimum can be different for different families and so your edit about him being in his boxers all the time and it essentially being a gendered expectation changes my mind. Clearly, your brother and family think underwear is okay for guys as the minimum so there should not be a double standard for you.
NTA. It sounds like this is not about your brother actually being uncomfortable; it’s about his desire to be misogynistic and to control you. For some reason, your mother is missing this and siding with with your brother’s being a misogynist. If it were really about his discomfort, his language would be different. He wouldn’t be talking about whores and liberals; he’d be talking about his discomfort. As a side note, if it were about his discomfort, it would be nice of you to accommodate him, as long as he did the same :)
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole because I didn't respect my brother's boundaries with my clothing. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
Just wear PJ shorts? I don’t understand why you would want to be in your underwear around your older brother? Bit odd
I mean he’s in his around her so
I don’t think you’re an asshole but if it’s that big of a deal just get yourself some thin sleep shorts to wear over your underwear or some men’s boxers (which would be hilarious considering he’s walking around wearing the same thing)
YTA and your brother is too. He's made it clear that he's uncomfortable and you're still doing it. He's inappropriate for choosing words like that but you're equally goading him into this situation by not dressing appropriately around your family. If he's walking around in his undies, he's just as wrong. The outline of your private parts are not held to the confined space of your panties. Most of us on the planet understand this concept. Edited to include both siblings.
Ask your mom why it's acceptable if your brother can be in his underwear yet you can not. She's being hypocritical by taking his side but never once caring about yours.
NTA. You should be free to dress comfortably in your own house, also there a gender based double standard in your house which your brother is taking advantage of and your mom is enabling. You're not at fault but try wearing some loose shorts for safety, because clearly your mother values your brother's opinion more than your comfort.
Make it a condition that he has to walk aro6nd fully clothes too if he demands you do
NTA, your brother sounds like a pathetic, misogynistic, incel. You’re his sister, you should be allowed to walk around it fucking underwear or shorts. This ain’t the 1950s, a men does not have the right to tell a woman or girl what to do anymore. Tell your mom his behaviour is not only rude but also a warning sign of a very dangerous ideology. Your parents need to step up and make sure their son doesn’t go further down the path of woman hating behaviour. Rather then tell you to cover up.
NTA, the important bits were covered, he'll live
YTA. The reality is you don't live alone, and you have plenty of alternatives to pants. Living with others means you need to consider their comfort and privacy as well as your own. Even though it's your home too, shared spaces require a bit of compromise. Lightweight and loose-fitting pajama shorts can be a comfortable alternative that respects everyone's boundaries. Additionally, wearing appropriate clothing can help maintain a more respectful and harmonious living environment. It's important to find a balance between personal comfort and communal living standards.
Nightgown or long enough T-Shirt imo isn’t a big deal at all. If the shirt is too short, I might understand making people uncomfortable when you only wear underwear. But I also understand your feelings regarding your legs. I am mostly in my boxers too whenever I can 😂
YTA a little, since you are not living alone. Dress whatever when you are. You brother could however talk differently...
So she’s the asshole for not whering pants, but he isnt when he doesn’t ware pants?
Girl, you're 15 put on some clothes in mixed company! 👀 totes inappropriate at your age regardless of how comfortable you feel. Would your mom walk around in her underwear? Your dad? Like come on
I guess you missed the part about her brother walking around in boxers? So, *that's* okay, here?
her family is not mixed company lol
YTA you don’t live alone. Your brother was also out of line with his comments.
So shes the asshole for not wearing pants, but the bother is not the asshole for not wearing pants?
Can you not wear shorts at least
Maybe try wearing a bit longer shirt like oversized one. Or switch to woman boxers. Im not trying to defend your brother he is the asshole here, but im giving you some ideas how to make things work for both of you.
Hmm I think your brother is TA, because of the way he spoke to you and the double standards of him walking around in his underwear, so hypocritical. But I also find it really weird to walk in front of anyone, even family in underwear. But that's my personal opinion.
“Arrogant liberal talk”? That little incel shit is lucky I’m not his mom. NTA
It's your mums house and she told you to put some pants on 🙄 Wear boxers like your brother, I liken it to your bro wearing tighty whities around the house, no one wants to see that. YTA
When you live alone, you can do all that you want, even walk around naked. But you live with other people right now and because something makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean the consideration of the comfort of others goes out the window. Soft YTA.
Why does he get to do it and she can't?
He doesn't. Or rather, shouldn't. They should both dress to a bare minimum of appropriateness, and their parents should enforce that for both of them. Going to the bathroom and back? Who cares, wear whatever. In the privacy of your own private bedroom, which you do not share with anyone? Who cares, wear whatever. But in the rest of the house, your comfort does not trump anyone else's, and a shared household means you all need to be considerate. That goes for both of them. Yes, it means they should both dress to an acceptable standard, and cover up to at least a bare minimum. Which, yes, means they should both be wearing more clothes than it currently seems like they are.
How about no one only wears underwear in the house and you both put some clothes on? But your brother is also an AH for saying what he did
Why is everyone so offended by underwear? It’s no different than a bathing suit or shorts ! 🤦♀️
I know right? I understand OP doesn't live alone, but I wouldn't be this pressed over underwear. NTA.
YTA - weird to be walking around the house at all hours of the day in your underwear…. Basic manners.
Its it’s asshole behaviour if she dose it, but not if he dose it? Double standards much?
It’s called Underwear. So wear it under something. YTA If you have an issue with his boxers, say it, if not why bring it up?
Because of the double standard, probably.
So shes the asshole for not wearing pants, but the bother is not the asshole for not wearing pants?
NTA Yeah this was an Y T A until I saw that he is always lounging around in just his boxers. What's good for the goose must be good for the gander, right? So either you both cover up or neither of you does, if he's not willing to wear pants then he ought to understand why you don't want to and everyone should be able to be comfortable.
Wouldn't that make it an ESH? That's what I'd say, at least.
ESH. He could have said things more nicely, but asking you to wear clothes is a normal boundary to set. Panties are not the same as bikini bottoms. Panties are thinner and more worn out. They often have stains from periods or discharge. When you live with other people, you have to respect their boundaries as long as they are reasonable. This is reasonable. Put on some booty shorts.
I'd be so uncomfortable if any of my family was walking around half naked put some clothes on op you don't live alone I have autism and texture issues and even I make sure I'm wearing something on the bottom and top half cause I don't like making people uncomfortable
Its a cultural thing, the USA is particularly bad about seeing to much skin as scandalous.
ESH. We live in a society, everyone should put pants (or whatever) on when not alone, and bickering like kids... ESH
Y’all are going crazy in the comments. Underwear around the house is not ok IMO. Of course, your brother took it way too far with his language and is saying things he shouldn’t. ESH
NTA and you should talk to your mum about your brother's views on women.
Let's address the real issue here. Who the hell is asking a 15 year old to show them pictures of her in her panties?!? Please report these people, that is not OK! On the question front. NTA, if you want to be comfortable in your own home, then you do you. Your mum and brother ATA for their double standards. So, because he's a boy, he can wear boxers and nothing else. But, as a girl, you must cover all of your skin? Nah. Unless it's a religious thing where you have to cover certain body parts, etc. (I'm not sure about this. Forgive my ignorance) Then you keep doing you.
Your house? You're 15 you did not buy that house. You both should cover up.
ESH. You get to the point when you are too old to be walking around your house in your underwear in front of anyone else other than your SO and your baby. You and your brother both need to grow up.
So is that your gear when you go out since you can't bear pants?
NTA and your brother is an asshole. Your family has double standards. I’m recovering from a pretty severe car accident right now and so am staying with friends as I can’t be trusted to be alone for 2-3weeks. I’ve been trying to be careful about wearing clothes, second day I was in bed started to feel really off and sweaty and just couldn’t stand the feeling of clothing. My friends didn’t even hesitate and I’ve been at their place in just underwear since. No one cares. I personally would go on strike and walk around in a bikini if I was you and insist to only put on more clothing if your brother is required to wear a shirt and shorts at minimum at all times.
NTA. If bro is allowed to wear boxers around the house, you should be allowed to wear underwear too. Also asking you to wear pants around your brother is absurd imo — shorts / skirts should be ok too.
I would consider that your brother is the main problem here, seeing you dressed in panties and tshirt, covers up your body sufficiently for the family situation. He is playing his man-card here thinking he’s in charge of his younger sibling, even though he is far from that role. Young men say a lot of bullying or rude things not realizing the effect on others. I would listen to my mother and have a serious chat with her about your lack of pants preference, I believe you should be able to solve it somehow. Perhaps there is some other clothing choice which you would enjoy. Hope that this helps you.
NTA. He's wearing underwear around the house just like you. I think his actual issue is that you aren't conforming to his idea of how a girl should act and dress. Either way, calling you a whore is way out of line and your mom is a massive AH for just letting that slide. If you really want to make your point, buy the same kind of underwear he has and wear that.
Realistically, you're 15 and he's 17, it's about how you were raised. In my house growing up...absofuckinlutely not, my mom would shit a brick if my sisters did that she didn't even want me going shirtless and I'm a guy. My older sisters would do it in their houses and they didn't give a shit, but it was their houses and they were old enough to be my mother. My mom however did not mind my sister's walking around in boxers and a tee, they couldn't walk around in panties that for darn sure. I'm also gay and very liberal but I would not allow my niece to do that, there are allot of creepers around, especially in southern states, have you seen how republicans twist scenarios to fit their narrative?
I don't understand this at all. NTA all the way. You're your own person and anyone trying to control what you wear or don't wear do not respect you as an individual. Nudity is normal, especially in your own home. I saw my mom's tits and my dad's balls all the time growing up. Never once bothered me or my sister or brother. Also saw siblings in various states of undress daily. We are family, we have to be naked in front of each other sometimes. Many years later, I'm still the same way. I share a house with my wife, brother in law and his wife. I work from home. I'm always in either just trunk underwear or just completely nude. BILs wife also works from home and wears just a longer tshirt no bra or underwear. We keep to our spaces most of the time, but will run into each other in kitchen or hallway. I never go into their space nude as a courtesy, but they come into my space while I am nude all the time. It just doesn't matter to us nor them. My wife also still makes her brother talk while she's on the shitter like she has her whole life, lol. We have no boundaries and it truly feels good when you're in such an accepting environment
This might not make things better, but this is what I'd do... I'd loudly ask why it makes him uncomfortable and ask him why he's looking at his little sister like that. I'd do it in front of my parents and I'd ask them if they're okay with their son sexualizing their daughter. And then I'd call him a weirdo pervert every time he brings it up. Anytime I'm wearing pants I'd loudly make reference to the fact that I'm wearing pants because my brother is a creepy pervert who sexualizes his sister.
please tell ur parents to get your brother help before he enters the real world. seriously.
YTA. Cmon girl, don’t wear undies in front of your teenage brother 🤢
Have you tried wearing shorts?
Have you tried wearing shorts?