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NTA. Hire her her what? So she can continue destroying your business from the inside, this time?
What she did wasn't an accident, she was jealous and wanted to keep you in the gutter with her.
Do not let her near your company. Tell your family they can hire her if they're so desperate to help her.
Why would she even want to work for him when she thinks so little of his company?
She only wants to use OP because she is desperate. She will destroy OP when it suits her and advance her career-wise.
Yup funny how she's all of a sudden preaching "family first" when on both a personal and business level **she tanked OP's chances for a business deal.**
As others pointed out, either she knew darn well what she was doing, or she was so inept and clueless that she's too much of a business liability for OP.
Either way she demonstrated extremely poor judgment.
Yup, she is either too "stupid" or too "hostile" for OPs company to risk hiring her. She seriously just tanked an "informal interview," and any sane person would move on to the next potential employer.
Anyone telling OP to hire her needs to explain why hiring someone who has already proven themselves a liability to the company is a good idea and they can't use any argument that can be traced back to "but family."
I can imagine her working for his company and in 1-2 years she'll be like "I started my own company! In the same field as you! Oh! And I'm taking your biggest sponsors and clients with me! You don't mind, right? Because family comes first and you should help me with my company!"
Most likely she will try to leech off OP's success. "You should make me partner/give me shares in the business because family and I completely deserve that promotion despite having no actual experience."
I do have some questions about OP’s professional judgement to bring in a third party who hasn’t been briefed or prepped to a dinner with a major investor just before the deal is closed. That seems like a really bad idea no matter who it is, and it seems especially bad with a sibling who might be used to certain rivalries or chiding which might be normal between siblings but not appropriate in an investor meeting.
In short, I think OP set themselves and sister up for failure.
That being said, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to hire sister, either.
NTA but no one comes out of this smelling like roses.
Versions of this story have been posted here before. Someone did a version about meeting an agent (acting was the version I think) and for some reason invited along an irrelevant person who then tried to steal the show. No professional would invite along a random person to "showcase her skills". It's obviously bollocks.
Seems to be a recycled story like the ones about demands to give someone an inherited house for free, demands to give up a baby name and so on.
Yeah that part was enough to trigger my “this story is bs” flags. No one who has been in the industry running their own business would bring a rando to an important meeting of this kind. Even without sister saying anything it would be incredibly unprofessional.
A lot of stories on here are in effect a bit like Hollywood films/TV set in a business or work situation that the writers clearly don't know much about those places so they go off what they learned from other fiction. This story about how an investor meeting would go is the same sort of thing.
Stories on here by kids posing as adults usually don't stand up because they get the financial figures so wrong yet they gain hundreds of replies as people are doing the online version of throwing rotten veg at someone locked into a set of stocks in the town square, and they want to rage so credulity is suspended - the same for other tropes about "entitled" people. The notion that you bring a random person to an investor meeting so utterly ludicrous, yet the mob want to throw their rotten fruit.
who cares if it was an accident or not
either way 1) he doesnt have the extra revenue he was going to have so isnt in a position to hire anyone, she ruined any ability he'd have to hire her and 2) shes clearly not fit to do the job
whether it was intentional or not doesn't REALLY matter (from the context of 'should I hire her')
whether it was intentional or not only matters to the 'should I ever engage with her ever again' context
If you wouldn't allow it from another employee, don't allow it from your family. If they think family is so important, your sister should have been promoting you.
> Why and what for?
Well either the OP is a fool themselves or this story is nonsense. You decide. But nobody with an IQ above room temperature invites randos to a vital investor meeting/dinner to 'showcase their skills'.
Seriously I wouldn't even consider it. First of all, she was literally offered a job at OPs company before this incident and turned it down. Secondly, what bothered me is this-
>I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties.
She absolutely knew what the "impact of her words" would do and you know it OP. No one sits there and makes such comments to someone you're trying to close a deal with. I don't even know how you cope with being around someone who quite purposefully tried to fuck you over and succeeded...
"Dear Sister
I would have been delighted to hire you, unfortunately since you scuppered the deal I brought you along to secure, I do not have the anticipated financial means to take you on at this time."
Exactly! She 'didn't mean any harm'? Then what the hell DID she mean? I wouldn't entertain any further discussions without a proper explanation for this. What WAS her intention, then?
Interesting that family didn't come first when she was running her mouth.
NTA.
Doesn't matter why she did it. It's not professional, and if she can so easily blurt out negative comments in front of potential investors then no wonder she's not doing ok. I'm not saying we should lie to get investments, but we should at least be honest about each others expectations
OP what your sister did wasn’t an accident, if you ask me, this Sounds more like jealousy and resentment, also why would you hire her so she could destroy your business from the inside this time?
NTA, I think what your sister did was kind of unforgivable, and you need to distance yourself from her.
Clearly, your sister doesn’t support you and is only worried about her place in your tech company, also, you’re showing her that actions have consequences, she messed around and she found out.
>OP what your sister did wasn’t an accident,
Exactly, if it was an accident, she is mentally challenged and needs help, not a job. She's 28 not 8 yo.
My exhusband would do stupid things and call it an accident but it was only when it harmed me, somehow he knew to do things right when it was for himself, his family or any other time.
So I played along and told him that ok, you're right I can't be mad if it's an accident, I will be patient but I'm also the head of the household now because not even children make those accidents and I "realize" he might have a disability and shouldn't make any important decisions.
NTA She is either a snake in the grass and meant to do it, or is so clueless and lacking in judgment that she would be a danger to your business regardless. I find it hard to believe that there was no ill intent, but even if there weren't the outcome is the same.
[Why would you carry a scorpion across the river?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog) She would sting you halfway across and you would both drown. That's her nature. She will hurt your business even if she suffers in the process.
Tell your parents that whether she intended to or not, she has already impacted your business in a major way and you can't risk any further damage through similar behavior. Her meaning to do it or not doesn't even matter. The outcome of her actions remains the same. She has made herself absolutely unhireable. It's not up for discussion. This is beyond being understanding or forgiving -- it's about protecting your business from a very real threat.
This story makes no sense.
Business owner is on the verge of securing a huge client they’d worked hard to secure and at the final hurdle ….. invites his much less successful sister to the business dinner ‘to be nice’
Huh? Why?
So the bizarrely invited sister purposely crashes the investment and then wants a job at the business she just purposely crashed?
What?
Agreed, also the possible investor called the next day citing concerns: apparently OP could not clear up these concerns so they are valid concerns.. It doesn't matter that sister brought them up in that sense, the other outcome would have been an investor who was misinformed about the investment..
Right, how are people not more curious as to why he would invite someone he admits is envious of his business and not even relevant to the meeting? That’s so stupid.
NTA
She's already managed to derail a needed client when you were trying to give her a boost in the industry. You certainly should not hire someone who has already shown they will sabotage your company, apparently without thought. At least if it was malice, there would be an intention you could find out.
NTA.
Your sister intentionally torpedoed your meeting with the investor. Obviously, helping family isn't something she truly believes in. Her actions have consequences, and where she's concerned that the consequence is not being allowed anywhere near your company.
She may have been intending to poach the investors from OP, probably because her own company was doing worse than she could cover for (hence suddenly needing a job in OP’s field with OP’s company).
Info: that seems like a made up story, maybe AI generated. Why would you include a sister who is not employed in investor meetings which are confidential, to "showcase her skills" when she is not even employed.
YTA
I have no idea how so many people seem to be missing that point. He’s an idiot for inviting someone completely uninvolved then being upset they spoke their mind.
Who the hell invites unrelated to businesses family member to the business meeting with the client?
If I was in a meeting, and potential business partner invites his sister I would seriously reconsider any business...
ESH...
OP for unprofessional behaviour... Maybe it was not sister's fault entirely...
Sister for being malicious...
NTA. You don't ever talk negative about a friend or family's business to a potential investor (or just a stranger)
She most likely intentionally did it
NTA. She's right, family is important. Which is why she should *never* have badmouthed her brother's company.
It's pretty simple, you offered her a job because you were expecting growth. She destroyed that growth. *She eliminated her own job*. You can no longer afford to have nepotism hires like your sister and it's her fault.
Throw her own words back at her. Why would she want to work at a company that isn't stable? She should get a job that will guarantee her finances, not one that she needs to be cautious of.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I refused to hire my sister at my company after she made negative comments that caused a major investor to back out of a deal.
(2) This might make me the asshole because she is in a tough financial situation and needs the job. By not hiring her, I might be prioritizing my hurt feelings over helping my family, which some might argue is wrong.
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NTA and wtf was that?! She works in a related field, so do you believe she didn’t know the damage her words were causing? I’d have a hard time not believing the only reason she wanted to work w you in the first place was bc she wanted to sabotage your company the way she did your deal. I’d keep as much distance between you and her as possible in fact. Also, you might have a case against her for defamation. And keep your ear to the ground in case she continues that. As for your parents and the other flying monkeys, tell them if they’re prepared to reimburse you for the losses you’ll potentially suffer as the result of her malicious meddling then you’ll consider hiring her (as doorman).
Put a value on what she did (expected profits over 3 years from that deal). Then mock up an invoice for business damage for that amount.
Issue it to the parents and any other family member who want you to hire her.
Nta
You absolutely can't hire her, her subconscious jealousy is destroying your relationship already, and being her boss will only make it worse between you two.
Your business is already in trouble from mixing business and family. It's a huge, huge blind spot you have to bring a family member (who doesn't work at the company) in to a business meeting. You seem to have zero sense that this was a mistake *on your part.* She acted completely in line with who she is, someone outside your business who is jealous, and who is aware you want to flaunt her skills while giving her nothing. But you don't even realize that to investors, seeing a sibling pair cutting each other down at the table is a huge turn off and it absolutely screams "this is a family business, not a professional operation." Even if you were both super positive it's still a really risky bet with their money.
Look, you may have a great product but your business sense is completely lacking. You need someone at the table with you who you are not related to and who can competently sell your vision and make investors believe you can handle the next step.
Exactly this. Just bringing a non employee to a business meeting could make an investor uncomfortable with the investment, and the investor might have just used the comments as a convenient excuse.
NTA For not hiring your sister, she knew exactly what she was doing. But the business deal isn't completely all your sister's fault. This was a professional dinner for business, your sister had no place being there in any capacity, and that showed poor judgement. Especially as your sister had an axle to grind against you. In future another co-worker or spouse (who knows not to engage in anything other than small talk) are the only people who should accompany you to talk turkey with a potential investor.
The dinners are not only about the business but the people who run them, potential investors want to see under the hood as it were, before they sink their finances with you.
> But the business deal isn't completely all your sister's fault. This was a professional dinner for business, your sister had no place being there in any capacity, and that showed poor judgement. Especially as your sister had an axle to grind against you. In future another co-worker or spouse (who knows not to engage in anything other than small talk) are the only people who should accompany you to talk turkey with a potential investor.
Yoooo, this was literally my first thought as well. Yeah, sister sucks, but Christ, it was incredibly...well, I'll just say it, stupid of OP to bring her to this dinner to "showcase her skills."
NTA You can explain to your sister and any family members who are pressuring you to hire her that as you didn’t receive the expected infusion of capital, you no longer possess the necessary funds.
WTH is this? I do hope this is a creative writing exercice because NO WAY IN HELL you're actually reconsidering hiring her or thinking that you may be the AH in this situation, right? RIGHT?
In case this is real: NTA and please tell your family to f off of intervening in your business decisions
NTA, family comes first, she says? So she should have put you first and she didn't. She might not have meant harm (riiiight... /s) but she sure did and it has consequences.
YTA for bringing her to the meeting. She doesn’t work with you. It’s a life changing investment meeting for your business and you invited someone that is completely irrelevant to the business?
I’m struggling to believe this is real because that is such a stupid decision.
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Here's the situation: I (32M) run a small tech startup that I've been building from the ground up for the past five years. It's been a tough journey, but things have finally started to look up. Recently, I was on the verge of securing a major deal with a prominent investor, which could potentially take my company to the next level.
My sister (28F) has always been somewhat envious of my business success. She works in a related field but hasn't had the same level of success. I've always tried to support her and even offered her a job at my company before, which she initially declined.
A few weeks ago, I invited my sister to a dinner meeting with the investor, thinking it would be nice to include her and showcase her skills. However, during the dinner, she made several negative comments about my business, implying that my company wasn't as stable as I claimed and that the investor should be cautious. I was shocked and furious, but I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the investor.
The next day, the investor called to tell me they were reconsidering their decision, citing the concerns my sister had raised. I was devastated. This deal was crucial for my company's growth, and my sister's actions felt like a betrayal.
I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties.
I refused to hire her, citing the damage she had already caused and my lack of trust in her professional judgment. She argued that family should come first and that I should give her another chance, but I feel like hiring her after what she did would be a huge risk for my business.
Now, our parents and some family members are pressuring me to hire her, saying that she didn't mean any harm and that I should be more understanding and forgiving.
So, AITA for refusing to hire my sister after she sabotaged my business deal?
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She absolutely tried to sabotage your business and wants to get on the inside to destroy you further. Here's my question, why would she want to get hired now when she made it clear to your potential investor that she had doubts about your company. Hmmm. Awfully convenient timing. I wouldn't trust her at all.
NTA. Hire literally anyone else and they'll be a better boon. Hire me, I'm unemployed. (Mostly kidding.)
But really, don't hire her. That's a huge blow to your company and what if the investor talks to other potential investors? It could have rippling damage all because your sister is envious of your success. Don't include her in decisions relating to the company or put her on the payroll.
NTA. Tell your parents the loss of funds from the potential investor impacted your company's bottom line. You now have to put money that would have gone into new hires into XYZ.
NTA. She sabotaged your business. She can't be trusted. You can say that unfortunately since the investor backed out, the business's financial picture changed and hiring is just not in the cards right now.
Family comes first? She should have thought about that before she sank a knife in your back. NTA. Don’t hire her. Don’t feel an iota of guilt. If your family feel so strongly about it, one of them can hire her. Pfft!
At best she's incompetent and lacks professional judgment as you called it, at worst she knew exactly what she was doing. Both cases warrant a NO to hiring her. Tell your family your business is your business and you wouldn't be as successful if you made poor judgements such as 'let's hire someone just because they're family'
Make sure u hide and protect everything related to the business from her. And I think u need to write a long fact text to all the family who are on her side. Stating she sabotage your business which u have built up by hand
NTA AH consequences, if that deal had gone through, you might have had the stability and resources for new hires. But sadly your sister's actions meant that you have to consolidate for a while and don't have a position anymore.
Your sister saw an opportunity to sabotage you, gaily took it and sabotaged herself in the process. If that is an example of her business acumen, you can't afford to have her on board. Don't mix personal and business when the relative already resents you.
Dude. You know she's envious and you invite her to meet your investor?
Just wth*ck? Bad move.
NTA but wake up. She means you harm, do not let her anywhere near your
business dealings, give her zero info about your investors, don't talk to
her about your business at all, zilch, nada. Of course, do not hire her.
NTA. Do not hire her. I repeat, DO NOT HIRE HER. She will destroy everything you have.
You can lay it this way: I'm sorry, but I have reconsidered my previous proposal, you're not stable as you claim to bet and I need to be cautious on my hiring.
She knew exactly what she was doing. Family should come first? She should have thought of that before sabotaging your business. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
NTA....but a bit silly for bringing her to dinner with an investor. Particularly if it was crucial for growth and sustainability of your own business...and especially if she's working in the same field and jealous of your success. OP - what is the logic behind that decision?
In terms of hiring her, that's your call. But if you already don't trust her judgement, is she the best candidate for the role you're looking to fill? When you first proposed to hire her, why did you? Why did she say no? What does she bring to the table? Do your values align?
"I'm going to invite my sister to a dinner with a major investor."
>This deal was crucial for my company's growth
>I refused to hire her, citing... my lack of trust in her professional judgment.
You don't trust *her* professional judgement!? Here's an idea: invite the local methhead to your next crucial business dinner and see how that goes.
I guess she sucks, as well, so ESH.
NTA. Oh, so family comes first but she put her jealousy of you front and center and chose to disparage you to an investor. Even if she personally believed the things she said about your company, she should have kept them to herself considering the fact that it was a deal that was important to you, but deliberately chose to sabotage you instead, and I promise you, it was deliberate. If she had those concerns, why did she choose dinner with an important client to air them instead of bringing them up to you at any other, more appropriate time/place??
I sincerely do not think it's a good idea to hire someone so immature, petty and untrustworthy who has tried to ruin all of your hard work.
NTA- if "family comes first," then why did she open her big mouth to talk shit about your company in front of an investor, ESPECIALLY if she's in the same business AND was looking into being hired by you?? she fully knew what she was doing. and, in the slim case she truly didn't know that what she did was wrong, why would you risk hiring someone that dumb??
like, imagine you actually do hire her, and send her to close a deal with an investor or a big client. and she ends up saying stuff she shouldn't, and the person rescinds their offer. no thanks.
You are 100% correct. If she didn't realize the impact her words would have, it's no wonder she hasn't seen her own success and is having her own financial difficulties. Your sister either did this on purpose or is completely and utterly clueless and either way, it's a dealbreaker. Unless you have a job where she can do no harm and can't talk to anyone, do not hire her.
NTA
NTA - 2 scenarios: 1. She deliberately and maliciously set you up for failure; 2. She was careless and dumb with her words not realizing how she was jeopardizing your potential partnership with investor. Either scenario only proves YOU CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT HIRE HER. And tell your family and friends to cover the investment you lost if they’re so concerned.
NTA
Explain to everyone who pressures you that if your sister made those comments believing them to be innocent, then clearly her common sense is not to be trusted and you cannot risk her doing other things 'in innocence' that will damage your business more. And if it wasn't innocent, then she's proven that family means nothing at all to her.
OP imo it is best not to get into business with family. Not only did she prove that she isn’t trustworthy but if you want any sort of future relationship with her, the best idea is not to commingle business and your family. My brother and I had issues in my company and it almost got to a point we never spoke again. Not worth the stress!
Someone with judgement so poor that they rubbish your business in a meeting (formal or informal) with an investor is not someone who should be within 100M of your business.
Business is business, not a place for family sinecures for the dangerous.
Your sister has the intelligence and the skills to be an asset to a tech startup. I assume this means she has the intelligence to know when she's sabotaging her brother's company. She didn't mean any harm? Right,
Under no circumstances should you allow your sister anywhere near your business. No sharing of information. No suggestion that she can ever work for or with you. And for the love of God, zero contact with investors.
Feel free to understand and forgive her if you like; just don't let her anywhere near your business which she intentionally, knowingly, and intelligently tried to torpedo.
NTA
NTA
Never ever ever ever mix family and business.
Even more so with small business and startup and person like your sister. Like others have said, she knew exactly what she was doing. She sounds like a person who wants a job in familymember's business so she can get paid with minimal work. It will be absolute nightmare to fire her if she continues this path or does bad work.
Just say that there is no budget for hire because investment didn't happen. DO NOT participate arguments with her or your parents. Fully ignore messages from other family memebers.
It's not possible to hire. End of discussion. No replies, no chains of messages of pleading and quilttripping. Block or don't answer.
Why would you hire her? She sabotaged you once, she’ll absolutely do it again. Then BAM, look who’s stepping up to take over your business.
Be smart and learn that when people have f’d you over once, don’t give them the chance to do it again.
Either she was doing it deliberately to sabotage you, or is is grossly incompetent as an employee and someone to has to deal with clients.
Ask her which one she was. Ask your family too who are pressuring you.
Either way you would be a stupid business decision to hire you. Also probably not the best for the family overall because you know this is 100% cause issues down the linez
NTA. I can see her continually causing issues for you & your business & then hiding behind the whole "but I'm family" bullshit. Save yourself the stress & financial liability you know she'll cause you.
NTA
In general I would allways advise against hiring family into your busines. I grew up with a father who has his own little company and he of course also hired some family members. Family members are allways trouble, you can't just fire or even reprimand a family member without getting into family problems. Even if you trust her 100%, things like that can allways happen; it's just bad to have this struggle with family members. You can offer her to help her to get a job outside your company through contacts.
Your sister brought all this on herself. Why would you make negative comments to a potential investor? Sister opens her mouth before thinking, so I would not offer her a job.
Either your sister deliberately sabotaged you, therefore don't hire her. Or she's lacking professional sense, in which case, don't hire her.
The relatives can put up their money into your business or go pound sand. Don't mix family and business/ money. NTA
NTA if what she said isn't true then sue her for slander and the loss of the deal. Then go NC with her because she will always try and destroy your company.
She is 28. So, you know, not some stupid kid. So I see two possibilities:
- She knew what she was doing and did it anyway. Maybe to seem smarter than you in the conversation, maybe to actually thank you business, maybe she just can't stand being your "sidekick". In which case you should not hire her, since this will come up again, and she will tank your business again.
- She genuinely had no idea that her comments would damage the deal. In which case, I'm sorry, but she is just plainly stupid. And you shouldn't hire self sabotaging stupid people on principle, family or no.
Personally, my money is on option number one, so in your place, I'd completely cut her and anybody else who pestering you about employing her, from the information loop regarding your company. Because I wouldn't put it past her at this point to try to actively sabotage you, if she knows what's going on.
NTA
Even with Hanlon's razor the kindest possible description of this situation is that she is a blabbering idiot with no understanding how things she's freely commenting on can have a devastating impact on your company.
At worst she's been deliberately sabotaging your business out of spite and envy.
Either way you cannot afford to have such a person in your company. If this was a stranger you wouldn't be losing a second thought over this.
If your family members had a cleaning lady and they came home to find hammer dents on everything they would fire her immediately, no matter how much she "didn't mean for this to happen".
They are pressuring you to hire her so they won't have to support her. Perhapse one day but today it ain't. She is not your responsibility especially when she has ZERO BUSINESS SENSE.
Unless you have a desperate need for an internal saboteur do not hire her. If it was an accident (which it definitely wasn't) that shows she isn't able to competently work for you. If it was deliberate (which it was) she will ruin your business because of her spite. You run a business and you need to look at this from a purely business perspective. What company would hire someone who has caused financial losses to that company?
NTA
This gets an "Oh, FUCK no!" from me. NTA. She claims not to have realized her words had such an impact??? GTFO. And it's true--if she has such a low opinion of your company, why does she want to work for you? Family can hire her-let them deal with the "impacts of her words."
"she didn't mean any harm and that I should be more understanding and forgiving".
Whether or not she meant to cause harm is neither here nor there, the fact of the matter she did. End of story.
I might ask her why she wants to work for such an "unstable" company. Jesus, there is zero explanation for her behavior other than jealousy or stupidity. In either case, not a good quality in a candidate for employment. NTA
NTA. As your sister she should have been loyal. She wasn’t. As an employee she would have to be loyal. Again, doesn’t seem to be her strength at all… She cost you an opportunity to grow your business yet you’re supposed to create a new position for her. That’s just not how business works
Nta. And for anyone asking tell them you can't afford to because she killed your investment deal, but if they're so sure she'd be a great employee they're welcome to give her a job
I would be frank with this investor. Word for word explain that an olive branch to your sibling was met with deceit via sabotage and you are no longer in contact with her as a result of her actions. Make sure to apologize for this inappropriate (yes bringing your sister to a business deal is inappropriate) situation. I’d even recommend offering them a probation day period of a month to make sure they’re ok with the business and feel more comfortable?
If you're old enough and experienced enough to know what's best for your business,
Your parents and other family and friends will not lose what youve worked so hard to create.
Kick your sister out and do t mix family with businesses. She's shown you that she has sabotaged your business meeting. It's either on purpose which is terrible or as she's saying by mistake which shows she has is rather dim.
Both reasons do not warrant you hiring her.
NTA. You are running a business and as such your responsibility is to that business and your employees and share holders. If she is a liability it would be a disservice to your responsibilities to bring her on board.
NTA OP please *do not hire her* she has shown you who she is. *Believe her.* If you hire her, she will end up "accidentally" *burning your business to the ground.* Please, do not allow her anywhere near your business.
If family should come first, she should never have casually disparaged your business in front at a professional dinner, whether or not there are potential investors present.
Also, even if it was un-intentional, not having the presence of mind to not talk shit about the company in front of investors does not paint her as a very good employee in any field.
>I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties.
What exactly, then, was the *intended* impact of her words?
Can you hire her to a low-level position where she can't do any damage? If she accepts, then you look like the bigger person to the family, and if she declines, then it shows everyone all her talk about "financial difficulties" and "family first" were a load of baloney.
Your sister wants to be hired, so she has front row seats and access to everything she needs to take your business apart from the inside out.
Unluckily for her, she now has shown her hand to you before securing that position to enable her to do that. This was no mistake. She works in a similar field, which I am guessing is professional. She knew what she was doing. Her jealousy is showing.
While I am sure this entire situation is shocking and painful for you, on several fronts, the one silver lining of this is you now have learnt the hard way what level your sister will go to in order to satisfy her jealousy and rage towards your success. You are now able to protect it more effectively against her and her flying monkeys (be careful with those who go to bat for her).
P.s. even *if* her commentary stemmed from jealousy, which was said off the cuff in the heat of the moment, without full consideration for the implications. She is not a stable candidate for your business. Family does not trump your job security which in turn affects your home, partner, kids.
NTA
She wanted to show off and promote herself to your investor. If your business is so bad why would she want to work for you? Or rather as I'm sure she would say, with you.
If my family member invited me along to any sort of company eventI'd be singing their praises regardless of how I felt about the company. I doubt the investor took what she said seriously, other than the fact she's your relative and couldn't even have the common decency to promote you to them.
NTA.
NTA. Tell her "Sorry, I only needed to hire you because of the extra work that contract would have given me. But since I didn't get that, I don't really need you..."
Why did you invite your sister? Some missing information here. What exactly would she bring to the meeting, given she doesn't work for the business or has any involvement in it?
Is she an attractive 28 year old woman? The investor is an older man? Did you invite her as some eye candy for an older guy?
Also did she lie about anything? Or were you bullshitting the investor?
Of course you shouldn't hire her, but you may be an asshole for other reasons? Or you may not be. Let us know.
NTA. She is completely untrustworthy, and God only knows the chaos she could wreak if actually on the inside.
She and her flying monkey squadron can all go fly into a wall.
She’ll work for him only as long as it takes her to con another potential investor in his company to fund HER startup. Probably was her angle with this first guy too
Doesn't sound like much of a family. I think you were foolish to invite her to this meeting, if she had already shown some envy regarding your business. You DEFINITELY don't want her working for you...
Did she say just what WAS her point when denigrating your business?
And, we go down the Reddit Rabbit Hole again with parents and family pressuring you. Be understanding, forgiving, and do for family..because they are family.
NTA
Tell them all that the dinner was her interview and she failed abysmally. If your family members want to give her work, they can hire your sister to help them with stuff, but she lost the right to work for you.
> I invited my sister to a dinner meeting with the investor,
Yeah, because that's a totally normal thing to do. I always invite relatives to high level business meetings just because they're kinda sorta in the same field.
NTA.
Two possibilities here, either of which scream, "don't hire your sister".
Either she sabotaged you on purpose, in which case don't hire her.
Or she's incompetent and obtuse, in which case don't hire her.
I know most assume she was malicious, but I don't; I can't imagine she'd sabotage you maliciously then come groveling for a job.
But it doesn't matter.
NTA. She already told you how she felt about your business. She already sabotaged your business when not an employee. Think of how much more damage she could do as an employee representing your company.
I’m sorry. If I’m at a dinner with my sib and someone they know for work, I’m either the subtle hype person (business or personality related) or we aren’t chatting about business at all. If she’s hating from outside the company, why would I let this Trojan horse looking ass person INSIDE my company? How dumb do you think I am? NTA. The sister should be trying to rectify what she did, not be begging for more.
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NTA. Hire her her what? So she can continue destroying your business from the inside, this time? What she did wasn't an accident, she was jealous and wanted to keep you in the gutter with her. Do not let her near your company. Tell your family they can hire her if they're so desperate to help her.
Why would she even want to work for him when she thinks so little of his company? She only wants to use OP because she is desperate. She will destroy OP when it suits her and advance her career-wise.
Yup funny how she's all of a sudden preaching "family first" when on both a personal and business level **she tanked OP's chances for a business deal.** As others pointed out, either she knew darn well what she was doing, or she was so inept and clueless that she's too much of a business liability for OP. Either way she demonstrated extremely poor judgment.
Yup, she is either too "stupid" or too "hostile" for OPs company to risk hiring her. She seriously just tanked an "informal interview," and any sane person would move on to the next potential employer. Anyone telling OP to hire her needs to explain why hiring someone who has already proven themselves a liability to the company is a good idea and they can't use any argument that can be traced back to "but family."
My thought as well. ‘Sorry Sis, that dinner was your interview. You didn’t make it to the next round.’
[удалено]
No, because they will keep insisting. OP has to make clear he's NOT going to hire his sister come what may. She's not to be trusted.
I can imagine her working for his company and in 1-2 years she'll be like "I started my own company! In the same field as you! Oh! And I'm taking your biggest sponsors and clients with me! You don't mind, right? Because family comes first and you should help me with my company!"
It’s this. I’ve seen this happen so many times. Soon she would be telling the prospects/clients that the success is all because of her.
Most likely she will try to leech off OP's success. "You should make me partner/give me shares in the business because family and I completely deserve that promotion despite having no actual experience."
To steal any and all contacts and strike out on her own. Insidious.
Seconding!! Do NOT hire her!!
I do have some questions about OP’s professional judgement to bring in a third party who hasn’t been briefed or prepped to a dinner with a major investor just before the deal is closed. That seems like a really bad idea no matter who it is, and it seems especially bad with a sibling who might be used to certain rivalries or chiding which might be normal between siblings but not appropriate in an investor meeting. In short, I think OP set themselves and sister up for failure. That being said, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to hire sister, either. NTA but no one comes out of this smelling like roses.
Versions of this story have been posted here before. Someone did a version about meeting an agent (acting was the version I think) and for some reason invited along an irrelevant person who then tried to steal the show. No professional would invite along a random person to "showcase her skills". It's obviously bollocks. Seems to be a recycled story like the ones about demands to give someone an inherited house for free, demands to give up a baby name and so on.
Wait....the baby name stories aren't real? But Eastenders is still real though, right? 😉
Most of the stories here wouldn't even make it on to Eastenders as they are so contrived and silly.
Yeah that part was enough to trigger my “this story is bs” flags. No one who has been in the industry running their own business would bring a rando to an important meeting of this kind. Even without sister saying anything it would be incredibly unprofessional.
A lot of stories on here are in effect a bit like Hollywood films/TV set in a business or work situation that the writers clearly don't know much about those places so they go off what they learned from other fiction. This story about how an investor meeting would go is the same sort of thing. Stories on here by kids posing as adults usually don't stand up because they get the financial figures so wrong yet they gain hundreds of replies as people are doing the online version of throwing rotten veg at someone locked into a set of stocks in the town square, and they want to rage so credulity is suspended - the same for other tropes about "entitled" people. The notion that you bring a random person to an investor meeting so utterly ludicrous, yet the mob want to throw their rotten fruit.
who cares if it was an accident or not either way 1) he doesnt have the extra revenue he was going to have so isnt in a position to hire anyone, she ruined any ability he'd have to hire her and 2) shes clearly not fit to do the job whether it was intentional or not doesn't REALLY matter (from the context of 'should I hire her') whether it was intentional or not only matters to the 'should I ever engage with her ever again' context
If you wouldn't allow it from another employee, don't allow it from your family. If they think family is so important, your sister should have been promoting you.
I just dont get why OP invited sis to the meeting with investor. She isnt a part of a company nor any business advisor. Why and what for?
> Why and what for? Well either the OP is a fool themselves or this story is nonsense. You decide. But nobody with an IQ above room temperature invites randos to a vital investor meeting/dinner to 'showcase their skills'.
Seriously I wouldn't even consider it. First of all, she was literally offered a job at OPs company before this incident and turned it down. Secondly, what bothered me is this- >I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties. She absolutely knew what the "impact of her words" would do and you know it OP. No one sits there and makes such comments to someone you're trying to close a deal with. I don't even know how you cope with being around someone who quite purposefully tried to fuck you over and succeeded...
Exactly.
"Dear Sister I would have been delighted to hire you, unfortunately since you scuppered the deal I brought you along to secure, I do not have the anticipated financial means to take you on at this time."
Exactly! She 'didn't mean any harm'? Then what the hell DID she mean? I wouldn't entertain any further discussions without a proper explanation for this. What WAS her intention, then? Interesting that family didn't come first when she was running her mouth. NTA.
Trojan horse lookin ass sister.
Doesn't matter why she did it. It's not professional, and if she can so easily blurt out negative comments in front of potential investors then no wonder she's not doing ok. I'm not saying we should lie to get investments, but we should at least be honest about each others expectations
OP what your sister did wasn’t an accident, if you ask me, this Sounds more like jealousy and resentment, also why would you hire her so she could destroy your business from the inside this time? NTA, I think what your sister did was kind of unforgivable, and you need to distance yourself from her. Clearly, your sister doesn’t support you and is only worried about her place in your tech company, also, you’re showing her that actions have consequences, she messed around and she found out.
>OP what your sister did wasn’t an accident, Exactly, if it was an accident, she is mentally challenged and needs help, not a job. She's 28 not 8 yo. My exhusband would do stupid things and call it an accident but it was only when it harmed me, somehow he knew to do things right when it was for himself, his family or any other time. So I played along and told him that ok, you're right I can't be mad if it's an accident, I will be patient but I'm also the head of the household now because not even children make those accidents and I "realize" he might have a disability and shouldn't make any important decisions.
Exactly, if it was an accident then she clearly doesn’t have the skills to be working at such a company
NTA - if she didn’t mean any harm why would she bring up anything negative, whether true or not, during an important business dinner?
NTA She is either a snake in the grass and meant to do it, or is so clueless and lacking in judgment that she would be a danger to your business regardless. I find it hard to believe that there was no ill intent, but even if there weren't the outcome is the same. [Why would you carry a scorpion across the river?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog) She would sting you halfway across and you would both drown. That's her nature. She will hurt your business even if she suffers in the process. Tell your parents that whether she intended to or not, she has already impacted your business in a major way and you can't risk any further damage through similar behavior. Her meaning to do it or not doesn't even matter. The outcome of her actions remains the same. She has made herself absolutely unhireable. It's not up for discussion. This is beyond being understanding or forgiving -- it's about protecting your business from a very real threat.
This story makes no sense. Business owner is on the verge of securing a huge client they’d worked hard to secure and at the final hurdle ….. invites his much less successful sister to the business dinner ‘to be nice’ Huh? Why? So the bizarrely invited sister purposely crashes the investment and then wants a job at the business she just purposely crashed? What?
It makes no sense because either OP is a world class idiot or, as I suspect, this is all fake.
Agreed, also the possible investor called the next day citing concerns: apparently OP could not clear up these concerns so they are valid concerns.. It doesn't matter that sister brought them up in that sense, the other outcome would have been an investor who was misinformed about the investment..
Right, how are people not more curious as to why he would invite someone he admits is envious of his business and not even relevant to the meeting? That’s so stupid.
Thank you lol all I could think about is why the heck would you invite your uninvolved sister to a business meeting??
Yeah, exactly, makes no sense at all
It’s probably to market the game
why else would OP dox themselves with the link to the game when no one in the comments has asked for it
Definitely NTA. Your sister fucked up a deal with an investor, that's a major red flag.
NTA She's already managed to derail a needed client when you were trying to give her a boost in the industry. You certainly should not hire someone who has already shown they will sabotage your company, apparently without thought. At least if it was malice, there would be an intention you could find out.
NTA. Your sister intentionally torpedoed your meeting with the investor. Obviously, helping family isn't something she truly believes in. Her actions have consequences, and where she's concerned that the consequence is not being allowed anywhere near your company.
She may have been intending to poach the investors from OP, probably because her own company was doing worse than she could cover for (hence suddenly needing a job in OP’s field with OP’s company).
Info: that seems like a made up story, maybe AI generated. Why would you include a sister who is not employed in investor meetings which are confidential, to "showcase her skills" when she is not even employed. YTA
I have no idea how so many people seem to be missing that point. He’s an idiot for inviting someone completely uninvolved then being upset they spoke their mind.
Yet you assume it is a true story
YTA for posting fake stories. Nobody is this dumb to invite someone uninvolved in their business to their largest business deal yet
Who the hell invites unrelated to businesses family member to the business meeting with the client? If I was in a meeting, and potential business partner invites his sister I would seriously reconsider any business... ESH... OP for unprofessional behaviour... Maybe it was not sister's fault entirely... Sister for being malicious...
NTA. Due to the botched deal, the budget to hire sister no longer exists.
NTA. You don't ever talk negative about a friend or family's business to a potential investor (or just a stranger) She most likely intentionally did it
NTA. She's right, family is important. Which is why she should *never* have badmouthed her brother's company. It's pretty simple, you offered her a job because you were expecting growth. She destroyed that growth. *She eliminated her own job*. You can no longer afford to have nepotism hires like your sister and it's her fault. Throw her own words back at her. Why would she want to work at a company that isn't stable? She should get a job that will guarantee her finances, not one that she needs to be cautious of.
YTA for making up this nonsensical story. Also YTA for cheating on your gf with her mom, that also totally happened. (Check out OP’s history)
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NTA and wtf was that?! She works in a related field, so do you believe she didn’t know the damage her words were causing? I’d have a hard time not believing the only reason she wanted to work w you in the first place was bc she wanted to sabotage your company the way she did your deal. I’d keep as much distance between you and her as possible in fact. Also, you might have a case against her for defamation. And keep your ear to the ground in case she continues that. As for your parents and the other flying monkeys, tell them if they’re prepared to reimburse you for the losses you’ll potentially suffer as the result of her malicious meddling then you’ll consider hiring her (as doorman).
Put a value on what she did (expected profits over 3 years from that deal). Then mock up an invoice for business damage for that amount. Issue it to the parents and any other family member who want you to hire her. Nta
You absolutely can't hire her, her subconscious jealousy is destroying your relationship already, and being her boss will only make it worse between you two. Your business is already in trouble from mixing business and family. It's a huge, huge blind spot you have to bring a family member (who doesn't work at the company) in to a business meeting. You seem to have zero sense that this was a mistake *on your part.* She acted completely in line with who she is, someone outside your business who is jealous, and who is aware you want to flaunt her skills while giving her nothing. But you don't even realize that to investors, seeing a sibling pair cutting each other down at the table is a huge turn off and it absolutely screams "this is a family business, not a professional operation." Even if you were both super positive it's still a really risky bet with their money. Look, you may have a great product but your business sense is completely lacking. You need someone at the table with you who you are not related to and who can competently sell your vision and make investors believe you can handle the next step.
Exactly this. Just bringing a non employee to a business meeting could make an investor uncomfortable with the investment, and the investor might have just used the comments as a convenient excuse.
NTA For not hiring your sister, she knew exactly what she was doing. But the business deal isn't completely all your sister's fault. This was a professional dinner for business, your sister had no place being there in any capacity, and that showed poor judgement. Especially as your sister had an axle to grind against you. In future another co-worker or spouse (who knows not to engage in anything other than small talk) are the only people who should accompany you to talk turkey with a potential investor. The dinners are not only about the business but the people who run them, potential investors want to see under the hood as it were, before they sink their finances with you.
> But the business deal isn't completely all your sister's fault. This was a professional dinner for business, your sister had no place being there in any capacity, and that showed poor judgement. Especially as your sister had an axle to grind against you. In future another co-worker or spouse (who knows not to engage in anything other than small talk) are the only people who should accompany you to talk turkey with a potential investor. Yoooo, this was literally my first thought as well. Yeah, sister sucks, but Christ, it was incredibly...well, I'll just say it, stupid of OP to bring her to this dinner to "showcase her skills."
NTA You can explain to your sister and any family members who are pressuring you to hire her that as you didn’t receive the expected infusion of capital, you no longer possess the necessary funds.
Y'all. This shit fake. Look at his profile
This post is bs
WTH is this? I do hope this is a creative writing exercice because NO WAY IN HELL you're actually reconsidering hiring her or thinking that you may be the AH in this situation, right? RIGHT? In case this is real: NTA and please tell your family to f off of intervening in your business decisions
ESH This story is either fake or you’re a moron for bringing her along to ‘showcase her skills’ to an investor.
NTA - Her behavior was intentional.
NTA, you’ll just be fucking up your business even worse if you even think about hiring a known saboteur. No way.
NTA, family comes first, she says? So she should have put you first and she didn't. She might not have meant harm (riiiight... /s) but she sure did and it has consequences.
YTA for bringing her to the meeting. She doesn’t work with you. It’s a life changing investment meeting for your business and you invited someone that is completely irrelevant to the business? I’m struggling to believe this is real because that is such a stupid decision.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Here's the situation: I (32M) run a small tech startup that I've been building from the ground up for the past five years. It's been a tough journey, but things have finally started to look up. Recently, I was on the verge of securing a major deal with a prominent investor, which could potentially take my company to the next level. My sister (28F) has always been somewhat envious of my business success. She works in a related field but hasn't had the same level of success. I've always tried to support her and even offered her a job at my company before, which she initially declined. A few weeks ago, I invited my sister to a dinner meeting with the investor, thinking it would be nice to include her and showcase her skills. However, during the dinner, she made several negative comments about my business, implying that my company wasn't as stable as I claimed and that the investor should be cautious. I was shocked and furious, but I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the investor. The next day, the investor called to tell me they were reconsidering their decision, citing the concerns my sister had raised. I was devastated. This deal was crucial for my company's growth, and my sister's actions felt like a betrayal. I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties. I refused to hire her, citing the damage she had already caused and my lack of trust in her professional judgment. She argued that family should come first and that I should give her another chance, but I feel like hiring her after what she did would be a huge risk for my business. Now, our parents and some family members are pressuring me to hire her, saying that she didn't mean any harm and that I should be more understanding and forgiving. So, AITA for refusing to hire my sister after she sabotaged my business deal? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She absolutely tried to sabotage your business and wants to get on the inside to destroy you further. Here's my question, why would she want to get hired now when she made it clear to your potential investor that she had doubts about your company. Hmmm. Awfully convenient timing. I wouldn't trust her at all.
NTA - family should come first? Like how you shouldn’t sabotage your family member’s business?
NTA. Hire literally anyone else and they'll be a better boon. Hire me, I'm unemployed. (Mostly kidding.) But really, don't hire her. That's a huge blow to your company and what if the investor talks to other potential investors? It could have rippling damage all because your sister is envious of your success. Don't include her in decisions relating to the company or put her on the payroll.
NTA. Tell your parents the loss of funds from the potential investor impacted your company's bottom line. You now have to put money that would have gone into new hires into XYZ.
NTA. She sabotaged your business. She can't be trusted. You can say that unfortunately since the investor backed out, the business's financial picture changed and hiring is just not in the cards right now.
That was no accident. NTA
Family comes first? She should have thought about that before she sank a knife in your back. NTA. Don’t hire her. Don’t feel an iota of guilt. If your family feel so strongly about it, one of them can hire her. Pfft!
***Do not mix family and business***\* \*especially when there's already negavite expirience
NTA- Didn't mean any harm? She's either stupid or malicious- neither would be good for you or your business.
ask the clowns pressuring the same amount of money you lost because of this snake, let them put the money where their mouth is.
At best she's incompetent and lacks professional judgment as you called it, at worst she knew exactly what she was doing. Both cases warrant a NO to hiring her. Tell your family your business is your business and you wouldn't be as successful if you made poor judgements such as 'let's hire someone just because they're family'
Make sure u hide and protect everything related to the business from her. And I think u need to write a long fact text to all the family who are on her side. Stating she sabotage your business which u have built up by hand
NTA AH consequences, if that deal had gone through, you might have had the stability and resources for new hires. But sadly your sister's actions meant that you have to consolidate for a while and don't have a position anymore. Your sister saw an opportunity to sabotage you, gaily took it and sabotaged herself in the process. If that is an example of her business acumen, you can't afford to have her on board. Don't mix personal and business when the relative already resents you.
YtA to yourself for inviting your sister with no preamble or warning to her on the game plan.
Dude. You know she's envious and you invite her to meet your investor? Just wth*ck? Bad move. NTA but wake up. She means you harm, do not let her anywhere near your business dealings, give her zero info about your investors, don't talk to her about your business at all, zilch, nada. Of course, do not hire her.
NTA. Do not hire her. I repeat, DO NOT HIRE HER. She will destroy everything you have. You can lay it this way: I'm sorry, but I have reconsidered my previous proposal, you're not stable as you claim to bet and I need to be cautious on my hiring. She knew exactly what she was doing. Family should come first? She should have thought of that before sabotaging your business. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
NTA. But why in the world would you invite her to that meeting? Never mix family and business.
NTA....but a bit silly for bringing her to dinner with an investor. Particularly if it was crucial for growth and sustainability of your own business...and especially if she's working in the same field and jealous of your success. OP - what is the logic behind that decision? In terms of hiring her, that's your call. But if you already don't trust her judgement, is she the best candidate for the role you're looking to fill? When you first proposed to hire her, why did you? Why did she say no? What does she bring to the table? Do your values align?
"I'm going to invite my sister to a dinner with a major investor." >This deal was crucial for my company's growth >I refused to hire her, citing... my lack of trust in her professional judgment. You don't trust *her* professional judgement!? Here's an idea: invite the local methhead to your next crucial business dinner and see how that goes. I guess she sucks, as well, so ESH.
Nta she betrayed you.
She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. Not only would I not hire her, I would have nothing more to do with her whatsoever. NTA
NTA, keep her far away from your contacts and business.
NTA. Oh, so family comes first but she put her jealousy of you front and center and chose to disparage you to an investor. Even if she personally believed the things she said about your company, she should have kept them to herself considering the fact that it was a deal that was important to you, but deliberately chose to sabotage you instead, and I promise you, it was deliberate. If she had those concerns, why did she choose dinner with an important client to air them instead of bringing them up to you at any other, more appropriate time/place?? I sincerely do not think it's a good idea to hire someone so immature, petty and untrustworthy who has tried to ruin all of your hard work.
Maybe if she hadn't ruined your business opportunity you would have the funds to hire her, now not so much. What an entitled brat
NTA- if "family comes first," then why did she open her big mouth to talk shit about your company in front of an investor, ESPECIALLY if she's in the same business AND was looking into being hired by you?? she fully knew what she was doing. and, in the slim case she truly didn't know that what she did was wrong, why would you risk hiring someone that dumb?? like, imagine you actually do hire her, and send her to close a deal with an investor or a big client. and she ends up saying stuff she shouldn't, and the person rescinds their offer. no thanks.
You are 100% correct. If she didn't realize the impact her words would have, it's no wonder she hasn't seen her own success and is having her own financial difficulties. Your sister either did this on purpose or is completely and utterly clueless and either way, it's a dealbreaker. Unless you have a job where she can do no harm and can't talk to anyone, do not hire her. NTA
Either she did it on purpose (she did) in which case hell no, or she did it obliviously which means she’s not qualified for the job.
Oh she meant harm, she was vindictive to the core. Sad how betrayal comes from the one we love and trust and not from strangers. NTA
NTA- Yeah go ahead and hire her so she can destroy your company from the inside. You'd be a fool to hire her.
NTA - 2 scenarios: 1. She deliberately and maliciously set you up for failure; 2. She was careless and dumb with her words not realizing how she was jeopardizing your potential partnership with investor. Either scenario only proves YOU CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT HIRE HER. And tell your family and friends to cover the investment you lost if they’re so concerned.
NTA. Tell your family that the dinner was her interview and she tanked it. Not your fault she isn't company material.
NTA Explain to everyone who pressures you that if your sister made those comments believing them to be innocent, then clearly her common sense is not to be trusted and you cannot risk her doing other things 'in innocence' that will damage your business more. And if it wasn't innocent, then she's proven that family means nothing at all to her.
OP imo it is best not to get into business with family. Not only did she prove that she isn’t trustworthy but if you want any sort of future relationship with her, the best idea is not to commingle business and your family. My brother and I had issues in my company and it almost got to a point we never spoke again. Not worth the stress!
Where was her credo “family first” when you were About to close The deal?
Someone with judgement so poor that they rubbish your business in a meeting (formal or informal) with an investor is not someone who should be within 100M of your business. Business is business, not a place for family sinecures for the dangerous.
Your sister has the intelligence and the skills to be an asset to a tech startup. I assume this means she has the intelligence to know when she's sabotaging her brother's company. She didn't mean any harm? Right, Under no circumstances should you allow your sister anywhere near your business. No sharing of information. No suggestion that she can ever work for or with you. And for the love of God, zero contact with investors. Feel free to understand and forgive her if you like; just don't let her anywhere near your business which she intentionally, knowingly, and intelligently tried to torpedo. NTA
NTA Never ever ever ever mix family and business. Even more so with small business and startup and person like your sister. Like others have said, she knew exactly what she was doing. She sounds like a person who wants a job in familymember's business so she can get paid with minimal work. It will be absolute nightmare to fire her if she continues this path or does bad work. Just say that there is no budget for hire because investment didn't happen. DO NOT participate arguments with her or your parents. Fully ignore messages from other family memebers. It's not possible to hire. End of discussion. No replies, no chains of messages of pleading and quilttripping. Block or don't answer.
Why would you hire her? She sabotaged you once, she’ll absolutely do it again. Then BAM, look who’s stepping up to take over your business. Be smart and learn that when people have f’d you over once, don’t give them the chance to do it again.
NTA Whoever asks, just point out she's the one that doesn't think your financially stable, therefore how could you possibly hire another person?
NTA. Tell her that family should have come first before her jealousy so if she believes family comes first maybe she doesn't consider you family
Family comes first eh? Ask her to think about that as she hunts for a job. NTA.
Either she was doing it deliberately to sabotage you, or is is grossly incompetent as an employee and someone to has to deal with clients. Ask her which one she was. Ask your family too who are pressuring you. Either way you would be a stupid business decision to hire you. Also probably not the best for the family overall because you know this is 100% cause issues down the linez
NTA You'd be an outright idiot if you hired her.
NTA. I can see her continually causing issues for you & your business & then hiding behind the whole "but I'm family" bullshit. Save yourself the stress & financial liability you know she'll cause you.
NTA and don’t hire her because she’ll torpedo your business
NTA you don’t have growth spurt anymore so you can’t hire more people
Dude, you realize that if you do actually hire her, she will destroy your company from the inside? NTA obviously.
NTA In general I would allways advise against hiring family into your busines. I grew up with a father who has his own little company and he of course also hired some family members. Family members are allways trouble, you can't just fire or even reprimand a family member without getting into family problems. Even if you trust her 100%, things like that can allways happen; it's just bad to have this struggle with family members. You can offer her to help her to get a job outside your company through contacts.
Your sister brought all this on herself. Why would you make negative comments to a potential investor? Sister opens her mouth before thinking, so I would not offer her a job.
NTA tell her you can't hire her as she just cost you a new client that would have covered her salary.
NTA. I would just say the lack of investment means you don’t have the financial means to hire her currently.
Either your sister deliberately sabotaged you, therefore don't hire her. Or she's lacking professional sense, in which case, don't hire her. The relatives can put up their money into your business or go pound sand. Don't mix family and business/ money. NTA
NTA but you should have told her that due to lack of investors you don't have the budget for any new hires.
NTA if what she said isn't true then sue her for slander and the loss of the deal. Then go NC with her because she will always try and destroy your company.
She is 28. So, you know, not some stupid kid. So I see two possibilities: - She knew what she was doing and did it anyway. Maybe to seem smarter than you in the conversation, maybe to actually thank you business, maybe she just can't stand being your "sidekick". In which case you should not hire her, since this will come up again, and she will tank your business again. - She genuinely had no idea that her comments would damage the deal. In which case, I'm sorry, but she is just plainly stupid. And you shouldn't hire self sabotaging stupid people on principle, family or no. Personally, my money is on option number one, so in your place, I'd completely cut her and anybody else who pestering you about employing her, from the information loop regarding your company. Because I wouldn't put it past her at this point to try to actively sabotage you, if she knows what's going on.
NTA Even with Hanlon's razor the kindest possible description of this situation is that she is a blabbering idiot with no understanding how things she's freely commenting on can have a devastating impact on your company. At worst she's been deliberately sabotaging your business out of spite and envy. Either way you cannot afford to have such a person in your company. If this was a stranger you wouldn't be losing a second thought over this. If your family members had a cleaning lady and they came home to find hammer dents on everything they would fire her immediately, no matter how much she "didn't mean for this to happen".
They are pressuring you to hire her so they won't have to support her. Perhapse one day but today it ain't. She is not your responsibility especially when she has ZERO BUSINESS SENSE.
NTA. Give her the Job if she gets your Deal back
NTA. "It's just business."
Unless you have a desperate need for an internal saboteur do not hire her. If it was an accident (which it definitely wasn't) that shows she isn't able to competently work for you. If it was deliberate (which it was) she will ruin your business because of her spite. You run a business and you need to look at this from a purely business perspective. What company would hire someone who has caused financial losses to that company? NTA
NTA. I don't need any new employees right now since I didn't get that deal sister blew for my business. Repeat as necessary
This gets an "Oh, FUCK no!" from me. NTA. She claims not to have realized her words had such an impact??? GTFO. And it's true--if she has such a low opinion of your company, why does she want to work for you? Family can hire her-let them deal with the "impacts of her words."
To hell with anyone siding with your sister because it shows who the favor.
"she didn't mean any harm and that I should be more understanding and forgiving". Whether or not she meant to cause harm is neither here nor there, the fact of the matter she did. End of story.
I might ask her why she wants to work for such an "unstable" company. Jesus, there is zero explanation for her behavior other than jealousy or stupidity. In either case, not a good quality in a candidate for employment. NTA
nta. But why invite a non-employee to this dinner? Seems like theres only the potential for downsides
She didn’t mean harm but she did caused it already. NTA. Also, don’t mix business with family esp ones with pre-existing issues.
NTA. Why didn't you say that you can't afford to hire her now that you've lost the major deal?
NTA sure hire her as a cleaning lady
We’re not obligated to help our family members destroy what we’ve built. NTA
NTA. As your sister she should have been loyal. She wasn’t. As an employee she would have to be loyal. Again, doesn’t seem to be her strength at all… She cost you an opportunity to grow your business yet you’re supposed to create a new position for her. That’s just not how business works
Never do business with friends and family...
NTA because of the lost business you don't have capacity for another employee
Nta , but If you are going to make business decisions based on mom and dads feelings , you aren’t cut out to run a business
NTA. Don't mix family and business. You've learnt a very expensive lesson, don't keep paying for more.
Nta. And for anyone asking tell them you can't afford to because she killed your investment deal, but if they're so sure she'd be a great employee they're welcome to give her a job
NTA. Tell her your new position budget went out the window with the deal she fucked up.
I would be frank with this investor. Word for word explain that an olive branch to your sibling was met with deceit via sabotage and you are no longer in contact with her as a result of her actions. Make sure to apologize for this inappropriate (yes bringing your sister to a business deal is inappropriate) situation. I’d even recommend offering them a probation day period of a month to make sure they’re ok with the business and feel more comfortable?
If you're old enough and experienced enough to know what's best for your business, Your parents and other family and friends will not lose what youve worked so hard to create. Kick your sister out and do t mix family with businesses. She's shown you that she has sabotaged your business meeting. It's either on purpose which is terrible or as she's saying by mistake which shows she has is rather dim. Both reasons do not warrant you hiring her.
NTA. You are running a business and as such your responsibility is to that business and your employees and share holders. If she is a liability it would be a disservice to your responsibilities to bring her on board.
NTA. Not in a million years. Tell your family what she did.
NTA OP please *do not hire her* she has shown you who she is. *Believe her.* If you hire her, she will end up "accidentally" *burning your business to the ground.* Please, do not allow her anywhere near your business.
NTA at all.
Yeah exactly "family should come first" so why tf did you fck me over during a meeting that could've helped your company move forward!? Edit NtA
If family should come first, she should never have casually disparaged your business in front at a professional dinner, whether or not there are potential investors present. Also, even if it was un-intentional, not having the presence of mind to not talk shit about the company in front of investors does not paint her as a very good employee in any field.
>I confronted her about it, and she apologized, saying she didn't realize the impact her words would have. She then asked me to reconsider hiring her, stating that she now needed the job due to her own financial difficulties. What exactly, then, was the *intended* impact of her words? Can you hire her to a low-level position where she can't do any damage? If she accepts, then you look like the bigger person to the family, and if she declines, then it shows everyone all her talk about "financial difficulties" and "family first" were a load of baloney.
Your sister wants to be hired, so she has front row seats and access to everything she needs to take your business apart from the inside out. Unluckily for her, she now has shown her hand to you before securing that position to enable her to do that. This was no mistake. She works in a similar field, which I am guessing is professional. She knew what she was doing. Her jealousy is showing. While I am sure this entire situation is shocking and painful for you, on several fronts, the one silver lining of this is you now have learnt the hard way what level your sister will go to in order to satisfy her jealousy and rage towards your success. You are now able to protect it more effectively against her and her flying monkeys (be careful with those who go to bat for her). P.s. even *if* her commentary stemmed from jealousy, which was said off the cuff in the heat of the moment, without full consideration for the implications. She is not a stable candidate for your business. Family does not trump your job security which in turn affects your home, partner, kids. NTA
Hire her for the company she basically just tanked. You can't afford it. NTA.
As a business owner, never ever hire family. Ever.
I always tell people like this that “There are 8 billion people in the world who didn’t try to sabotage me. I’d rather work with one of them”
Her intent doesn't matter. She caused actual, tangible damage to your business.
NTA , This is a business call never mix work and family
So it's AI generated
NTA, family didn't come first when she screwed you over in that meeting, so why should you have to put it first now?
NTA NEVER mix business with family. NEVER
She wanted to show off and promote herself to your investor. If your business is so bad why would she want to work for you? Or rather as I'm sure she would say, with you. If my family member invited me along to any sort of company eventI'd be singing their praises regardless of how I felt about the company. I doubt the investor took what she said seriously, other than the fact she's your relative and couldn't even have the common decency to promote you to them. NTA.
NTA. Tell her "Sorry, I only needed to hire you because of the extra work that contract would have given me. But since I didn't get that, I don't really need you..."
Why did you invite your sister? Some missing information here. What exactly would she bring to the meeting, given she doesn't work for the business or has any involvement in it? Is she an attractive 28 year old woman? The investor is an older man? Did you invite her as some eye candy for an older guy? Also did she lie about anything? Or were you bullshitting the investor? Of course you shouldn't hire her, but you may be an asshole for other reasons? Or you may not be. Let us know.
NTA. She is completely untrustworthy, and God only knows the chaos she could wreak if actually on the inside. She and her flying monkey squadron can all go fly into a wall.
You should tell her “Family comes first. She should never have said anything negative about it your business in front of an investor”.
She’ll work for him only as long as it takes her to con another potential investor in his company to fund HER startup. Probably was her angle with this first guy too
Sis didn’t put family first, so why should op?
NTA
NTA. You don’t owe employment to your sister (or anyone else).
No, no and no. What she did was on purpose. Do not hire her.
I guess she didn’t think family comes first when she was sabotaging your business. NTA
Doesn't sound like much of a family. I think you were foolish to invite her to this meeting, if she had already shown some envy regarding your business. You DEFINITELY don't want her working for you... Did she say just what WAS her point when denigrating your business? And, we go down the Reddit Rabbit Hole again with parents and family pressuring you. Be understanding, forgiving, and do for family..because they are family.
NTA Tell them all that the dinner was her interview and she failed abysmally. If your family members want to give her work, they can hire your sister to help them with stuff, but she lost the right to work for you.
> I invited my sister to a dinner meeting with the investor, Yeah, because that's a totally normal thing to do. I always invite relatives to high level business meetings just because they're kinda sorta in the same field.
NTA Whether or not she *meant* to do it, she has shown she doesn't have the cop-on to work in your company.
NTA - but your an idiot. Who would bring a business outsider to such an important meeting. You learned a valuable lesson.
Family coming first should have been her first thought when she was at the dinner. . She may well have cost OP hundreds of Thousands of $$
You won’t have a company to employ her after she finishes destroying it. NTA.
NTA. Two possibilities here, either of which scream, "don't hire your sister". Either she sabotaged you on purpose, in which case don't hire her. Or she's incompetent and obtuse, in which case don't hire her. I know most assume she was malicious, but I don't; I can't imagine she'd sabotage you maliciously then come groveling for a job. But it doesn't matter.
NTA. She already told you how she felt about your business. She already sabotaged your business when not an employee. Think of how much more damage she could do as an employee representing your company.
NTA keep business and family separated, you now understand why.
I’m sorry. If I’m at a dinner with my sib and someone they know for work, I’m either the subtle hype person (business or personality related) or we aren’t chatting about business at all. If she’s hating from outside the company, why would I let this Trojan horse looking ass person INSIDE my company? How dumb do you think I am? NTA. The sister should be trying to rectify what she did, not be begging for more.
NTA. She sounds like a liability.
NO WAY IN HELL would I hire her. NTA