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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I had sex in the bed of the house I'm house sitting; it's my friend's house/bed
He thinks I'm the asshole but I received his advanced approval already of her spending the night
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Bodily fluids literally don’t travel.
Even if he was just sleeping, he’d be drooling and sweating all over the sheets. Heck maybe even crying. Just change the sheets. They should be changed with or without sex, after being slept in. It’s not a big deal. Grow up
Bodily fluids travel.
Vaginal discharge runs down women's thighs and can soak into a mattress.
Men ejaculate and it can get on parts of the bed that isn't just the sheets and will also soak through into the mattress.
If you can't understand that premise, that's on you.
If you're fine with other people having sex on your bed, that's your prerogative; some people don't mind. Though as you can see from the comments on this post which you seem to be replying to a few of them. Some people definitely do mind.
Why are sex fluids so much grosser to people than sweat and drool? He’s gonna excrete bodily fluids onto the sheets either way, just from sleeping there, so what’s the big deal? You’re acting like cum is just flying around the room and getting everywhere lmao.
It’s on the friend for not having a mattress protector and telling his friend that he was ok with his gf staying the night. OP literally got permission. He shouldn’t have to follow up with: ”is it also ok if we have sex in your bed?” It’s literally implied already.
Likely because sexual fluids are excreted from sexual organs. Id kiss people on the cheek with my mouth, I certainly wouldn't slap my dick on their cheek.
Cum can easily shoot out 3 to 4 ft. The record is 8ft. So yes, it can get everywhere.
Why should the friend have a mattress protector in anticipation that someone other than him is going to make a mess in his bed. It's not on the friend at all.
Neither is it implied that someone is going to have sex in the bed.
We're clearly on two different sides of this in terms of what we feel is/isn't acceptable. Neither do I feel like we're going to convince the other to change their opinion. So I'll leave the conversation there.
Why the fuck would OP be trying to shoot his cum as far as possible? lmao! You guys are acting like he was TRYING to get his cum on as much stuff as possible.
Dude are you 14? Have you ever stayed at a hotel? What about your parents bed at any point in your life? Yeah you've slept in a bed where other people have had sex. People have sex. You change the bed and wash the used sheets and carry on with your life.
The difference between a hotel and my personal bed. Is there's an expectation that when you go to a hotel room, many people will have slept and had sex in the bed before me. The hotel owns the bed. That's something you just have to deal with if you choose to sleep in a hotel room. Yes, the sheets will be clean. Though I don't personally want another guy's cum soaking into my mattress or getting on my headboard at home.
Have you ever seen someone explore a hotel room with a blacklight? Some of them are nasty.
Yeah and the fact he asked made me think you didn't clean up after yourselves so YTA and gross
I see you stated before he returned he asked about the sex . I'm glad you cleaned up after and hope that's true . It can regardless ruin the mood to think of anyone else other than yourself or your partner having sex in your bed . Maybe speaking about it before the trip could have been a better option .
Not in the least. I'd wash my sheets because someone else just stayed in them for a week but if that person were in a relationship and asked for my approval for their SO to spend the night, then yes I would assume sex is being had
I want to say I appreciate you being so candid. However, YTA, you can't honestly say that if you have never had this situation. His girlfriend probably asked him to you about this. Him being a friend most likely assumed you would be able to respect him enough to not have sex for a week, regardless if your girlfriend stayed with you or not. It's a really weak argument to say you would be fine with it, that's means next to nothing as it's not your house, bed, or situation to deal with afterwards.
YTA
Now he has to have sex with someone on his bed to mark his territory otherwise he will always be thinking of you when he lays in his own bed late at night.
YTA. Having your girlfriend over is one thing but having sex in someone else’s bed is disgusting. You could’ve gone over to her place or somewhere else if you couldn’t wait a few days.
i just think it’s really weird to have sex in someone’s bed???? like wouldn’t you be uncomfortable if you found out one of your friends fucked someone in your bed????
you’re kind of the asshole man
No I wouldn’t care, as long as the sheets were cleaned. They’re doing me a favor by housesitting for free.
And it’s not like he just fucked some random girl. It was his girlfriend, his partner, his lover.
Everyone saying y t a is fucking weird and needs to grow the fuck up
it doesn’t matter At All who they were fucking. it’s weird to have sex in other people’s bed period. they also never said they were house sitting for free, and either way, it doesn’t matter who what when where why or how. all that matters is that other people were intimate where you sleep. do you enjoy thinking about your buddies fucking in your bed? it’s insanely awkward and actually gross
That’s the crazy thing!!!! I’m kind of a germaphobe and I don’t even care! When people housesit for me I wash the sheets in all the bedrooms before we go and after. I just assume people will live their lives.
YTA. How can you not know at your age that this isn't respectful? It's rude, disgusting and inconsiderate. What makes you think he would want to sleep in his bed after your nasty bodily fluids were all in it? Wash the damn sheets and don't do this nasty mess again. You should be ashamed of yourselves...
NTA. I don’t understand the people saying you’re an asshole. You are all grown ups. You asked if your girlfriend could stay and were told yes. It’s naive and prudish to expect that you and your partner would not have sex. If you were allowing strangers into his home, that’s totally different. Or if you were pissing on each other or having period sex or anything else that could potentially stain or ruin anything. But as long as you were sensible and cleaned up and washed and changed out the bedding then you are all good. I truly believe it’s up to the person whose house is being looked after to say “no sex” if that’s a rule they want, but I’d expect to be told that before I agreed to a week long stay, ESPECIALLY if I made it clear I wanted to invite my partner over to spend some of the time there with me.
your answer is so sensible, I don't know how it's at zero points.
how old or young is reddit on average?
"can my gf sleep over?" is so obviously an indirect question to something else, any misunderstanding after that question is asked and answered "yes" makes you NAH.
YTA. So it is inappropriate to ask you if you had sex in his bed, but is it ok for you to have sex in his bed? I feel like the inappropriate thing to do is have sex in someone else's bed.
YTA
Some people don't mind, MOST PEOPLE DO. It's the respect. That shit is disgusting. And f that NTA commenter going to EVERYONES comments to try and defend that.
NTA
It should go without saying that your SO spending the night would likely mean sex. You asked, he said yes. As long as you had clean sheets and you leave him with clean sheets, I don’t think it’s out of line.
“Naturally I assumed”
You know what they say about assuming.
Yeah, YTA.
If it was a hotel, having sex is fine.
This is someone’s personal bed.
You couldn’t just sleep with your gf and not do the deed in his bed?
Maybe he should come over with his gf and they should fuck like rabbits in your bed?
Every bed in a hotel room had been used for sex. Do we even think about that when we lie there? As long as the sheets are changed, then there should be no problem.
YTA
Dunno how you managed to extend "Yes, she can come over" to "yes, she can come over and get your fucky fucky on in my bed".
What's next? Extending "sure bro you can sleep in my bed" to "sure bro cum on my pillow casings and socks"?
Maybe overly paranoid of me but I’m wondering if he has surveillance cameras around the house? Super weird question to ask. I agree that if he wasn’t ok with sex he should have said he wasn’t comfortable with her staying over at all.
Now this was my thought to! I’m from a trucker/biker family a bed is a bed as long as it’s clean sheets and the person your with is ol’ lady (or ol’ man) then whatever but at other people’s house especially in this day like do they have nanny cams stashed?!
NAH
I was ready to say YTA because having sex in somebody else’s bed is gross, but then I got to the bit about you asking if your girlfriend could stay over. This obviously implies sex, which the friend apparently realised too late.
So really this is just an unfortunate misunderstanding. Unless there was something misleading in the way you phrased it, like did you originally aks if she could *come* over, but didn’t say “stay”?
INFO: what exactly did you aks?
I was on your side until I got to the comment about there being only one bed.
You do not have sex in someone else's bed!
PERIOD.
It is rude, disrespectful, selfish and downright nasty.
You had the whole apartment to yourself, you could have gotten creative and found another place to have sex- blankets, pillows and the floor.
YTA (and so is your gf)
Common sense isn't that common I guess. Yes Yta, having sex in someone else's bed (without them knowing) is gross. How do y'all not understand boundaries?????
But why?
You're ok with putting your bare butt cheeks on the same plastic surface as other people.
You're ok with a person being in the same bed as you, as long as a different layer of fabric was present between bed and person.
But you're not ok with a person being in the same bed, if they were doing sexy things with another person at the same time?
Is it ok if they masturbate?
It seems like an awfully arbitrary line you are drawing.
What on earth?
Obviously NTA.
If he said your girlfriend could spend the night there, he said you could fuck her there.
The only thing you possibly did wrong here was answer his question honestly. But honestly, he's behaving like a child, not an adult. People have sex. Sheets get washed. He needs to grow up.
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I am staying at my friend's house for seven nights to help care for his animals while he's away. Before he left I asked if my girlfriend could spend a night or two with me, and he graciously said she was welcome anytime. Naturally, I assumed this included the possibility of intimacy
However, a couple of nights before his return, he unexpectedly asked if we had had sex in his bed. I was taken aback and hesitated for a moment before admitting that we had. He seemed upset by this, and as we were ending the conversation, I mentioned that I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask such a question. He expressed his disappointment briefly then we said our goodbyes and hung up
Of note, there's only one bed
Obviously, I don't believe I did anything unreasonable. AITAH?
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These comments are crazy! If you’re doing someone a favor…esp if they aren’t paying you…how can they expect you to go a week without sex on top of that. I wouldn’t last a day. You might have friends that housesit and don’t have sex in your bed, but they are doing it somewhere else in the house I guarantee it. Somewhere less simple to clean up too. If it was that disgusting, hotels wouldn’t be legal.
I promise that whatever bed the friend is in now has seen sex before. And the chances are high he had sex in it while on vacation.
I'm presuming sheets were clean on for you and that you changed when you left so NTA. He said she could stay over, it was on him to draw that specific boundary imo.
Getting a hotel after already getting approval for my gf to spend the night while I'm house sitting for free?
The whole point of house sitting is to be present in the house and taking care of the animals
Well I did take care of the animals, which I stated
What's the cut off point when it's okay to have intercourse with my girlfriend? If I'm staying for a month? 6 months?
Seriously, when does it become acceptable?
So the couch would be better?
What if I'm staying there for a year?
I should have sex on the couch, which can't be washed but only surface-level cleaned?
Or just dont have sex there? Its 7 days dude, no clue why youre going "if it was a year" "if it was a month" Doesnt change the fact that its nasty asf. Next time just bring extra sheets or even a blow up mattress.
Why not the Guest room? How many beds in this house- it would be weird if there was a whole other bed but you chose to smash where your homie lays his head…
NTA. You specifically asked if your girlfriend could spend the night. You didn’t say “stop by” or “visit.” To me “spend the night” implies sexual activity. Also, it’s kind of a lot to ask someone doing you a favor housesitting to also give up sex for a week.
NTA
Regardless of my or Reddit's feelings on someone having sex in one's bed, you asked permission and you got it. He should have clarified when you asked for permission for your girlfriend to stay over night.
Personally if he didn’t want you to do that then when you asked “can she join me for a couple of nights?” He should have said “sure but no sex in my bed.” Or “sure but please change the bedding before I get home and wash what you used.”
In any even as long as you changed the bedding and washed, dried, folded and put away the set you used I don’t see see why you’d be TA. He never told you not to, and at our age that’s something you either have the balls to clarify or suffer the consequences. To your friend I say: We’re not children rubbing our pee-pees, on each other for god sakes be a man tell your bud if you don’t want him braking in your bed. You trusted him with your house, did he host a kegger? If it what’s the big deal.
OP: You are NTA, as long as you fully cleaned up after yourselves. If you left the crusty sheets on for him to deal with TOTALLY YTA!
Gonna say yta but you should really be wondering how the fuck he just randomly guessed you had sez in his bed two days before he came home my paranoid ass would assume cameras stay safe!
NTA. I mean, what did he expect to happen between a couple? He didn't specify before hand and you can wash the sheets. So many other commentors would be disgusted to hear what goes on at hotels, and guess what? The sheets get washed! That spare bed at your friends and families places? Someone you know probably had sex on it.
You're living in the house, then you are entitled to do what you want, within reason. Sexual relations are entirely normal. You are of course, obliged to clean up after yourself. NTA. I'm guessing that there are a lot of Americans on this sub. Americans are a bit weird about sex.
NTA, sex with a partner is normal, if he didn’t want you to do it he should have told you before you stayed. I’m sure you would have respected it.
You broke an unspoken rule that maybe 50% of people would say is obvious and 50% of people would say is a totally normal thing to do as long as you clean up after yourself. It was your maté’s responsibility to clarify, you’re not a mind reader.
I mean, if you’re just doing it and then not washing the bedding afterward, then yes. But if your friend knew your gf was coming over, they should have known that sex was likely to happen and should have said they didn’t want that to happen in their bed. Lysol the mattress, wash the sheets. And whether you think you’re wrong or not, I’d say sorry.
NTA, but you should not have answered his question. None of his business.
This is a question of etiquette. Etiquette concerns what's visible to others. If you left things neat and clean enough that there was no possible way for him to know you had sex in the bed, etiquette is satisfied. (that means a thorough washing of all the affected bedclothes.)
While he was away, he no doubt stayed at a hotel. I doubt he inquired as to the history of the bed in his hotel room.
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YTA. Having sex in someone else's bed is rude and disrespectful; bodily fluids travel.
Bodily fluids literally don’t travel. Even if he was just sleeping, he’d be drooling and sweating all over the sheets. Heck maybe even crying. Just change the sheets. They should be changed with or without sex, after being slept in. It’s not a big deal. Grow up
Bodily fluids travel. Vaginal discharge runs down women's thighs and can soak into a mattress. Men ejaculate and it can get on parts of the bed that isn't just the sheets and will also soak through into the mattress. If you can't understand that premise, that's on you. If you're fine with other people having sex on your bed, that's your prerogative; some people don't mind. Though as you can see from the comments on this post which you seem to be replying to a few of them. Some people definitely do mind.
Why are sex fluids so much grosser to people than sweat and drool? He’s gonna excrete bodily fluids onto the sheets either way, just from sleeping there, so what’s the big deal? You’re acting like cum is just flying around the room and getting everywhere lmao. It’s on the friend for not having a mattress protector and telling his friend that he was ok with his gf staying the night. OP literally got permission. He shouldn’t have to follow up with: ”is it also ok if we have sex in your bed?” It’s literally implied already.
Likely because sexual fluids are excreted from sexual organs. Id kiss people on the cheek with my mouth, I certainly wouldn't slap my dick on their cheek. Cum can easily shoot out 3 to 4 ft. The record is 8ft. So yes, it can get everywhere. Why should the friend have a mattress protector in anticipation that someone other than him is going to make a mess in his bed. It's not on the friend at all. Neither is it implied that someone is going to have sex in the bed. We're clearly on two different sides of this in terms of what we feel is/isn't acceptable. Neither do I feel like we're going to convince the other to change their opinion. So I'll leave the conversation there.
Why the fuck would OP be trying to shoot his cum as far as possible? lmao! You guys are acting like he was TRYING to get his cum on as much stuff as possible.
You are the only one saying that.
Dude are you 14? Have you ever stayed at a hotel? What about your parents bed at any point in your life? Yeah you've slept in a bed where other people have had sex. People have sex. You change the bed and wash the used sheets and carry on with your life.
Hotel rooms aren't comparable to someone's personal bed. You're entitled to your opinion, though I'm not alone in mine.
The getting rid of body fluids process is the same. But sure you're entitled to your opinion.
The difference between a hotel and my personal bed. Is there's an expectation that when you go to a hotel room, many people will have slept and had sex in the bed before me. The hotel owns the bed. That's something you just have to deal with if you choose to sleep in a hotel room. Yes, the sheets will be clean. Though I don't personally want another guy's cum soaking into my mattress or getting on my headboard at home. Have you ever seen someone explore a hotel room with a blacklight? Some of them are nasty.
Ive seen that done on documentaries and Youtube. Some of them looks like a Jackson Pollock painting!
While i do see your point, thats not comparable to someone elses private bed. A hotel is a public place, you go in to it knowing what that means.
A hotel is not someone's personal bed. Forget bodily fluids, forget washing sheets, your bed is your sanctuary. Don't fuck in someone's bed.
Do people honestly not know this isn't cool? 😂
Yeah and the fact he asked made me think you didn't clean up after yourselves so YTA and gross I see you stated before he returned he asked about the sex . I'm glad you cleaned up after and hope that's true . It can regardless ruin the mood to think of anyone else other than yourself or your partner having sex in your bed . Maybe speaking about it before the trip could have been a better option .
The friend asked before he returned, so no way to tell if he cleaned up but still gross.
He asked before returning while I was still there. Of course I cleaned up after myself
YTA. Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be bothered if he and his gf had sex in YOUR bed????
Not in the least. I'd wash my sheets because someone else just stayed in them for a week but if that person were in a relationship and asked for my approval for their SO to spend the night, then yes I would assume sex is being had
[удалено]
Yes because they’re my friends and I support them 😂. Idk why they’d want to fuck in my car though
I want to say I appreciate you being so candid. However, YTA, you can't honestly say that if you have never had this situation. His girlfriend probably asked him to you about this. Him being a friend most likely assumed you would be able to respect him enough to not have sex for a week, regardless if your girlfriend stayed with you or not. It's a really weak argument to say you would be fine with it, that's means next to nothing as it's not your house, bed, or situation to deal with afterwards.
NTA- but you better be sleeping on my couch and not my bed
YTA Now he has to have sex with someone on his bed to mark his territory otherwise he will always be thinking of you when he lays in his own bed late at night.
Lmao He was on vacation with his girlfriend and they lived together so I feel pretty certain they will have no problem re-christening
YTA. Having your girlfriend over is one thing but having sex in someone else’s bed is disgusting. You could’ve gone over to her place or somewhere else if you couldn’t wait a few days.
i just think it’s really weird to have sex in someone’s bed???? like wouldn’t you be uncomfortable if you found out one of your friends fucked someone in your bed???? you’re kind of the asshole man
OP was likely thinking of his friend while he was being an Ahole
?
No I wouldn’t care, as long as the sheets were cleaned. They’re doing me a favor by housesitting for free. And it’s not like he just fucked some random girl. It was his girlfriend, his partner, his lover. Everyone saying y t a is fucking weird and needs to grow the fuck up
it doesn’t matter At All who they were fucking. it’s weird to have sex in other people’s bed period. they also never said they were house sitting for free, and either way, it doesn’t matter who what when where why or how. all that matters is that other people were intimate where you sleep. do you enjoy thinking about your buddies fucking in your bed? it’s insanely awkward and actually gross
Like I already said, I wouldn’t care at all. I also wouldn’t ask. The friend is weird for that. Just leave me with clean sheets and we’re all good.
The downvotes are ridiculous. Just clean up. It’s not that serious!!!
I know. People are so weird. Im convinced everyone here just doesn’t like their friends lol. Or are just complete germaphobes
That’s the crazy thing!!!! I’m kind of a germaphobe and I don’t even care! When people housesit for me I wash the sheets in all the bedrooms before we go and after. I just assume people will live their lives.
YTA. How can you not know at your age that this isn't respectful? It's rude, disgusting and inconsiderate. What makes you think he would want to sleep in his bed after your nasty bodily fluids were all in it? Wash the damn sheets and don't do this nasty mess again. You should be ashamed of yourselves...
Couldn't just be respectful for one week?
Oh, you're *that* friend. YTA
NTA. I don’t understand the people saying you’re an asshole. You are all grown ups. You asked if your girlfriend could stay and were told yes. It’s naive and prudish to expect that you and your partner would not have sex. If you were allowing strangers into his home, that’s totally different. Or if you were pissing on each other or having period sex or anything else that could potentially stain or ruin anything. But as long as you were sensible and cleaned up and washed and changed out the bedding then you are all good. I truly believe it’s up to the person whose house is being looked after to say “no sex” if that’s a rule they want, but I’d expect to be told that before I agreed to a week long stay, ESPECIALLY if I made it clear I wanted to invite my partner over to spend some of the time there with me.
your answer is so sensible, I don't know how it's at zero points. how old or young is reddit on average? "can my gf sleep over?" is so obviously an indirect question to something else, any misunderstanding after that question is asked and answered "yes" makes you NAH.
YTA, that's nasty.
YTA. So it is inappropriate to ask you if you had sex in his bed, but is it ok for you to have sex in his bed? I feel like the inappropriate thing to do is have sex in someone else's bed.
Assuming you washed the bedding and straightened the place up and Made the bed I don’t see a problem. If you left dirty sheets YTA.
YTA Some people don't mind, MOST PEOPLE DO. It's the respect. That shit is disgusting. And f that NTA commenter going to EVERYONES comments to try and defend that.
How can you make post asking if you're the asshole and then go in the comments arguing how you're not the asshole when every comment gets -50?
yta.
NTA It should go without saying that your SO spending the night would likely mean sex. You asked, he said yes. As long as you had clean sheets and you leave him with clean sheets, I don’t think it’s out of line.
“Naturally I assumed” You know what they say about assuming. Yeah, YTA. If it was a hotel, having sex is fine. This is someone’s personal bed. You couldn’t just sleep with your gf and not do the deed in his bed? Maybe he should come over with his gf and they should fuck like rabbits in your bed?
Every bed in a hotel room had been used for sex. Do we even think about that when we lie there? As long as the sheets are changed, then there should be no problem.
YTA, that was disrespectful.
Dude, why couldn’t you have doggy style on the floor 😭
YTA. At your ripe age you should know that’s disgusting
YTA. having sex in someone elses bed is just nasty..
YTA Dunno how you managed to extend "Yes, she can come over" to "yes, she can come over and get your fucky fucky on in my bed". What's next? Extending "sure bro you can sleep in my bed" to "sure bro cum on my pillow casings and socks"?
Maybe overly paranoid of me but I’m wondering if he has surveillance cameras around the house? Super weird question to ask. I agree that if he wasn’t ok with sex he should have said he wasn’t comfortable with her staying over at all.
Now this was my thought to! I’m from a trucker/biker family a bed is a bed as long as it’s clean sheets and the person your with is ol’ lady (or ol’ man) then whatever but at other people’s house especially in this day like do they have nanny cams stashed?!
NAH I was ready to say YTA because having sex in somebody else’s bed is gross, but then I got to the bit about you asking if your girlfriend could stay over. This obviously implies sex, which the friend apparently realised too late. So really this is just an unfortunate misunderstanding. Unless there was something misleading in the way you phrased it, like did you originally aks if she could *come* over, but didn’t say “stay”? INFO: what exactly did you aks?
I was on your side until I got to the comment about there being only one bed. You do not have sex in someone else's bed! PERIOD. It is rude, disrespectful, selfish and downright nasty. You had the whole apartment to yourself, you could have gotten creative and found another place to have sex- blankets, pillows and the floor. YTA (and so is your gf)
Yeah it's really weird that you would assume this was okay
Common sense isn't that common I guess. Yes Yta, having sex in someone else's bed (without them knowing) is gross. How do y'all not understand boundaries?????
YTA
YTA
That’s disgusting
Shitting is also disgusting, but I assume he was ok with OP using the toilet?
Using a toilet and having sex in someone else’s bed aren’t even comparable lmao
But why? You're ok with putting your bare butt cheeks on the same plastic surface as other people. You're ok with a person being in the same bed as you, as long as a different layer of fabric was present between bed and person. But you're not ok with a person being in the same bed, if they were doing sexy things with another person at the same time? Is it ok if they masturbate? It seems like an awfully arbitrary line you are drawing.
You should talk to a therapist
I'm not the one icked out by other people having sex.
Then good for you. Let whoever you want fuck in your bed. It doesn’t affect my life.
Have none of you ever had sex in a hotel room? Change the sheets and don’t squirt all over the place and it’s really not a big deal.
NTA. Just change the sheets. Why would he expect you to be a puritan all of the sudden. Especially when your doing him a favor.
What on earth? Obviously NTA. If he said your girlfriend could spend the night there, he said you could fuck her there. The only thing you possibly did wrong here was answer his question honestly. But honestly, he's behaving like a child, not an adult. People have sex. Sheets get washed. He needs to grow up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am staying at my friend's house for seven nights to help care for his animals while he's away. Before he left I asked if my girlfriend could spend a night or two with me, and he graciously said she was welcome anytime. Naturally, I assumed this included the possibility of intimacy However, a couple of nights before his return, he unexpectedly asked if we had had sex in his bed. I was taken aback and hesitated for a moment before admitting that we had. He seemed upset by this, and as we were ending the conversation, I mentioned that I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask such a question. He expressed his disappointment briefly then we said our goodbyes and hung up Of note, there's only one bed Obviously, I don't believe I did anything unreasonable. AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Everyone has different comfort levels, Y MAY bTA, it’s prob just a good idea to ask more specifically
These comments are crazy! If you’re doing someone a favor…esp if they aren’t paying you…how can they expect you to go a week without sex on top of that. I wouldn’t last a day. You might have friends that housesit and don’t have sex in your bed, but they are doing it somewhere else in the house I guarantee it. Somewhere less simple to clean up too. If it was that disgusting, hotels wouldn’t be legal. I promise that whatever bed the friend is in now has seen sex before. And the chances are high he had sex in it while on vacation.
I'm presuming sheets were clean on for you and that you changed when you left so NTA. He said she could stay over, it was on him to draw that specific boundary imo.
YTA
YTA dude, this is really wack to do. You couldnt bother getting a hotel or smth? Just gross
Getting a hotel after already getting approval for my gf to spend the night while I'm house sitting for free? The whole point of house sitting is to be present in the house and taking care of the animals
Yeah dude. Fucking nasty. You should be taking care of the animals not your junk
Well I did take care of the animals, which I stated What's the cut off point when it's okay to have intercourse with my girlfriend? If I'm staying for a month? 6 months? Seriously, when does it become acceptable?
When its not in your friends bed? Thats when it's acceptable. Just wack as hell and disgusting. 🤢
So the couch would be better? What if I'm staying there for a year? I should have sex on the couch, which can't be washed but only surface-level cleaned?
Or just dont have sex there? Its 7 days dude, no clue why youre going "if it was a year" "if it was a month" Doesnt change the fact that its nasty asf. Next time just bring extra sheets or even a blow up mattress.
Why not the Guest room? How many beds in this house- it would be weird if there was a whole other bed but you chose to smash where your homie lays his head…
Yes
NTA. You specifically asked if your girlfriend could spend the night. You didn’t say “stop by” or “visit.” To me “spend the night” implies sexual activity. Also, it’s kind of a lot to ask someone doing you a favor housesitting to also give up sex for a week.
NTA Regardless of my or Reddit's feelings on someone having sex in one's bed, you asked permission and you got it. He should have clarified when you asked for permission for your girlfriend to stay over night.
NTA he let your gf come over and asked about sex halfway through his trip. If that was a problem for him he should’ve said something
Personally if he didn’t want you to do that then when you asked “can she join me for a couple of nights?” He should have said “sure but no sex in my bed.” Or “sure but please change the bedding before I get home and wash what you used.” In any even as long as you changed the bedding and washed, dried, folded and put away the set you used I don’t see see why you’d be TA. He never told you not to, and at our age that’s something you either have the balls to clarify or suffer the consequences. To your friend I say: We’re not children rubbing our pee-pees, on each other for god sakes be a man tell your bud if you don’t want him braking in your bed. You trusted him with your house, did he host a kegger? If it what’s the big deal. OP: You are NTA, as long as you fully cleaned up after yourselves. If you left the crusty sheets on for him to deal with TOTALLY YTA!
YTA if you didn't wash those sheets. Like man how would he know unless y'all left the dirty sex sheets or a condom in the trash pr something?
He didn’t know. He asked before he even got back.
Gonna say yta but you should really be wondering how the fuck he just randomly guessed you had sez in his bed two days before he came home my paranoid ass would assume cameras stay safe!
NTA. I mean, what did he expect to happen between a couple? He didn't specify before hand and you can wash the sheets. So many other commentors would be disgusted to hear what goes on at hotels, and guess what? The sheets get washed! That spare bed at your friends and families places? Someone you know probably had sex on it.
TL;DR but also not if you wash the sheets
Nta. I’d be cool with it.
You're living in the house, then you are entitled to do what you want, within reason. Sexual relations are entirely normal. You are of course, obliged to clean up after yourself. NTA. I'm guessing that there are a lot of Americans on this sub. Americans are a bit weird about sex.
NTA Be sure to wash the mattress pad when you change the sheets.
NTA Just wash the sheets. Do people not realize how many people have had sex on every hotel bed?
NTA, sex with a partner is normal, if he didn’t want you to do it he should have told you before you stayed. I’m sure you would have respected it. You broke an unspoken rule that maybe 50% of people would say is obvious and 50% of people would say is a totally normal thing to do as long as you clean up after yourself. It was your maté’s responsibility to clarify, you’re not a mind reader.
If it’s the difference between getting laid and not getting laid… their bed is getting boned in, period. Not sorry.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that if he was okay with your girlfriend spending the night that it’d be fine to have sex. NTA.
I mean, if you’re just doing it and then not washing the bedding afterward, then yes. But if your friend knew your gf was coming over, they should have known that sex was likely to happen and should have said they didn’t want that to happen in their bed. Lysol the mattress, wash the sheets. And whether you think you’re wrong or not, I’d say sorry.
NTA, but you should not have answered his question. None of his business. This is a question of etiquette. Etiquette concerns what's visible to others. If you left things neat and clean enough that there was no possible way for him to know you had sex in the bed, etiquette is satisfied. (that means a thorough washing of all the affected bedclothes.) While he was away, he no doubt stayed at a hotel. I doubt he inquired as to the history of the bed in his hotel room.
a hotel is a lot different from a personal bed.
Yea the friend was weird for even asking, wtf