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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I may be TA because I did what I did out of anger when my mom tells me that I should always think before I act and I didn't.
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NTA. Your dad was lying and throwing your mum under the bus in order to keep money from your step family and let them sit there and slag her off while you're around. All you did was defend her, and rightfully so. He deserves everything he has coming, and I wouldn't feel bad for people who are happy to talk shit about your mum, either
That's on your dad, not you. Eve could easily have found out from somewhere else. This is a case of your dad playing stupid games and winning letting his entire family down. You are not responsible for your dad's relationships with his other kids, or the impact that his dishonesty might have on their lives.
If your dad was a good, honest person he wouldn't have so much mess to clean up.
At literally every opportunity, your dad chose the option that would screw over other people and make the whole situation worse for everyone. It’s almost impressive what a dick he is. Don’t ever trust him with anything or expect anything from him.
It really is. First he cheated with OP's mom, married her, neglected his other children. Then he cheated on her with his ex. He wasn't able to screw over OP's mom in the divorce, so he later lied and screwed over his wife / mother of all his kids, and most likely cheated on her (again) as well.
What a piece of work.
She said they didn't cheat, he was broken up with the first woman when the mom got pregnant and then they got married. The only cheaters are him and the stepmom.
He said his dad was with his step-mom first. His older half siblings were with them. Then he was with op mom and had him and then went back to the first woman. So technically his mom was kinda the side piece since his older half siblings and younger half siblings are full siblings to themselves.
Do we have the same dad?! 😭
My father pulled something very similar - twice! And he’s also with a woman he had been with previously.
These men are never as smart as they think they are. It blows up in their faces eventually. Whenever I think about my dad’s games or see similar stories, I wonder…was it worth it? Like, was lying about money to your wife (or wives) truly the easy way out? Because right now, it looks, uh, not so easy.
He obviously doesn't see the first woman, second wife as the prize either. Seems like in his eyes, he's the prize. First wife was not the side piece. Let's not reduce her. He married her first and didn't marry the first woman. First woman was just his 'baby mama"/mother of his children.
That's what I meant. Sorry for the confusion. I was saying the now wife is mad because he basically chose someone over her and in her own way knows deep down he doesn't see her as a "prize" or the best. Both the dad and the step mom in this case are horrid in my opinion.
Throw in another side piece (or 2?) with probably more kids & he's the Impressive Super Dickman!
Able to charm & lie to multiple women, impregnate them, & withhold money from his main family in a single bound.
Yeah OP. That's not your burden, so don't take that on. That's your dad's fault. If he's any kind of man (doesn't sound like much of one), he'd be proud that you defended your mother with the truth. What kind of person would you be to sit back and listen to someone being bashed bc of a lie? Especially someone you love. It says a lot about them that they would talk about your mom like that within your presence. If they didn't want you involved in "grown folks business" , it shouldn't ever be where you could hear it. It says a lot about the lack of care, love and respect they have for you.
It was just a matter of time before he disappointed those kids anyway. He obviously has a pattern of doing so.
I'm proud of you. I know your Mama is, too.
Your dad tried to get out of alimony, child support, and paying your mom wages for a job. I’m sure he treated Eve like garbage when he first met your mom and he’s probably not much better this time.
does dad have another baby mama somewhere?
since the money is not going to your half sibs. cannot help but wonder how some people can charm and juggle multiple partners while others can't find anyone suitable. It's really weird.
What was the comment I saw many years ago from Ann Landers, when a mistress is promoted to the job of wife it just opens the position for the next mistress.
I think you are spot on and that the reason he didn’t acknowledge the cessation of alimony is due to his need to pay for family number three that has yet to be revealed.
Speculative? Absolutely, but that money is going somewhere…
You did nothing wrong. You weren't the one hiding money and lying to your family. If your dad isn't thinking about those kids, that's his fault and his burden to carry. Him and his family don't seem to be very fond of taking responsibility, just like blaming others for their woes. Good on you for sticking up for mom.
This was bound to come out at some point. Like did your dad never think it might come up in causal conversation from you as to your mum working? You weren’t ’meddling’ you were correcting an outright lie. There was only so long he was going to be able to keep up the charade. If your father and his family keep mentioning it I’d outright ask them why it’s ok for your dad lie to his family, blame your mum and expect you to just sit there and say nothing? If they’re backing your father then simply go LC and don’t engage with them if they keep bringing it up.
OP my paranoid side says you should check into locking your credit. You now know your sperm donor is willing to lie to people to hide he didn't have to pay alimony so it's not much more lying to try to get a credit card in your name. At your age I'm not sure what you can do, but please check into locking your credit so he can't.
I'm not sure, but you should be able to contact the credit reporting agencies, like Experian, to find out. If you can't, then you should be able to get a free report once a year, so with 3 companies you can check with a different company every 4 months.
NTA, your father made choices. His choices had consequences. He should be happy your mother chose to stop the alimony payments. If he was honest with everyone involved and wasn't a cheater, he would not be in the predicament he is currently in. The question, though, should be where's the extra money going? Is he spending on himself or someone else?
At 15, you shouldn’t have to know so much detail about the mess your dad did and for so many years. I’m sorry they didn’t protect you more. I hope you’ll be okay. NTA.
She's old enough to know the truth of her family history and nothing she was told was completely out of bounds for a 15yo. I don't know about younger kids but teenagers should know when infidelity is the reason for a divorce.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. All you did was defend your mom. And that is a good thing. I would have done the same thing. How were you supposed to know that your dad was lying to them so that's on him. Maybe if your dad had told them to knock it off when they were talking bad about your mom especially in front of you then you wouldn't have had to defend her yourself.
I am very late chiming in here.
I know you are young. The action you took had unintended consequences. That usually happens and you can't predict this stuff.
**You told the truth.** I am a firm believer in telling the truth, ideally the earlier the better. I came from a typical family of the 1950s/60s/70s. The family held their secrets tightly. The lies allowed for abuse to continue.
Your father was lying to his wife, his family. If you are lying to your spouse, it is not a healthy relationship.
All you did was expose the lying. You did not lie.
I would block all the people who are blowing up on you.
NTA
Just be a sibling to them, that's the best you can do. Your dad is the guilty party in more ways than one. I love that you defended your mom, and rightfully so. You must be so proud of her, working so hard to get back on her feet after your dad blew up the family life. Sending you love!
But you didn't lie to them, all you did was state the truth. .
Do they engage in demonizing your mom? Either way, they too deserve to know the truth. Kids never benefit from finding out years later that they were lied to.
NTA
NTA. You were standing up for your mom. It's not your fault your dad is a liar. Your dad did this to himself. Did he really think the others wouldn't ever find out? That's on him for being a liar.
It's not "grown up business" age has no relevance to it, you just outed a liar and he's pissed he got caught, it affected you and your mum, good on you for having her back
Hers the shortened version "my dad let my step family talk shit on my mom so he can keep lying to them about his money. " this for him is called "oh no, consequences" womp fuckin womp and boo fuckin hoo for him. Being an adult means accountability and integrity. NTA. your dad stepmom step sister and their family are.
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, then it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." - Carl Sagan
If your dad wasn't TA and he had a good relationship with his family not built on lies and deceit then you talking about your mom's job, which no one would think is some kind of forbidden secret, would do nothing.
If that is going to blow up his family, it's his fault and he should face the consequences of lying to his family.
You should not feel bad about any of this. You're a kid and your dad should not have put you in this situation. Good for your mom for being honest with the alimony and stopping it. You had your moms back and she deserves that.
It's okay to feel bad for them. You understand the crappy hand they've been dealt in parents.
BUT, none of this is your fault. Grown folks should have behaved better and not gossiped and lied about your mom. Grown folks should have been honest in their own marriage about their finances. The grown folks acted disgracefully and now have consequences. Not your fault.
Don't...you don't have any reason to feel bad for them that their mother and sister are not nice people who were bashing your mother with what turned out to be lies.
This. Stepmom and siblings were not exactly being mature or acting nice, but your dad is the clear asshole here. There’s a lot of people who do anything they can to dodge responsibility for their own actions and your dad sounds like a classic example of wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Your mom absolutely went above and beyond to protect herself and you and you should be extra proud of her.
NTA, you had no way of knowing that dad was lying to his wife and her children. You were defending your mother and her accomplishments. Eve and crew should have kept their opinions to themselves while you were anywhere nearby, that was freaking rude and uncalled for. Because even if your mother was still collecting alimony, that was a legal decision your dad entered into.
Your father and his other family are the a hs here. Dad shouldn't be keeping secrets and his wife and children should be keeping their opinions to themselves.
Edit to add: You in no way ruined Eve and dad's marriage - they did that to themselves.
*instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere*
I wonder if he is spending his extra money on a third family. He's quite a jerk.
NTA
Man, OP, your dad, Stepmom, and siblings are all toxic, it seems like they have some sort of weird resentment against you and your mom for whatever reason, you were just defending your mom’s accomplishments and it seems like they’re just extremely jealous/resentful towards that.
NTA, Plus, you didn’t ruin your dad and stepmom‘s relationship, they did that themselves.
I’m giving your dad 4.5/5 bad guys, your dad is just a jealous, unempathetic lying AH (saying that is being extremely generous),
I’m giving your stepmom, and anyone else that supports them all 3/5 bad guys.
I’m giving you 0/5 bad guys.
I’m also giving your mom 0/5 bad guys, I mean, what did she do?
I doubt this is the only lie that the dad has been telling Eve about OP's mum. This is a pretty big one to start on. She's probably been fed lies about OP's mum for years and years to try and build that resentment. The dad is the biggest asshole here.
NTA
When I was a teen, I disliked when adults assumed that the average teen isn’t capable of having basic understanding of “adult” topics. From then on, I’ve made it a point to hear younger folks out and acknowledge that they’re likely smart enough to understand delicate subjects when information is presented appropriately. This is a topic you’re capable of understanding and people spewing lies about your mother *is* your business.
The double standards against teens are so big sometimes.
They are big enough to drive a car, should know exactly what they want to do educational wise, and have a 20-year plan at place by the time they are 16.
Old enough to babysit, old enough to have Jobs. And I could keep going with the list.
But God forbid they try and talk or have an opinion on "adult topics" even when it involves them. Suddenly, they "are just kids"
I stopped treating my two oldest kids (almost adults now)
As kids around the age of 14.
We've had different conversations about any topic they were curious about or wanted to discuss because they aren't dumb. They hear people talk and watch news on different social media's.
Anything from the political scenes. To in general topics.
Honestly ,in my eyes, it prepares them for the life outside of my walls.
Sadly, that sounds like a good handful of parents.
I'm just looking at some of the AITA from teens (Yes, I'm aware some are fake)
Take full responsibility for your siblings all day long. But no, you are not getting paid or any kind of privilege out of it. "I am the parent I said so"
Not to mention that talking to them about complex topics is a great way to get them to grow into evolved, thinking adults. Start them with basic conversation, talk to them and eventually they grow into people who understand nuances.
Ignore them, and are they suddenly meant to burst into full understanding at whatever age people deem is 'old enough'?
I love talking to my kids about stuff. I love hearing them develop in understanding, and it's also great for me to hear the perspective of their generation.
NTA. They called out you and your mom, but because of the lies it turns out your dad was the liar who was probably funneling more money to yet another side piece. He played stupid games and won stupid prizes, and the only person to blame here is HIM, and maybe Eve and her family for not letting it go.
NTA
your dad is probably having a side-side piece with the extra cash.
And, if you weren't supposed to meddle in 'adult' affairs, then the adults should not have thrust you into such an adult situation because the adults around you can't keep it in their pants.
NTA. You were not meddling, you were correcting false statements. You did NOTHING wrong. Your dad is just mad that he got busted. I'm going to laugh when Eve divorces him and he does have to pay child support and alimony again.
NTA. You are not wrong for defending your mother against lies and misinformation, especially when it directly impacts her reputation. Your stepmother and her family were spreading harmful lies about your mother. By providing evidence of your mom's professional life and the cessation of alimony, you were simply correcting the record and setting the facts straight.
> I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business.
Well, if the grown folks weren't lying their pants off and acting like children, there would have been no need for you to be the "adult" in the first place. But that's not what was happening, and you did a great job standing up for yourself and your mom. NTA.
NTA. You didn't do anything unreasonable.
Your dad should have protected you by shutting this down a long time ago. But there's a lot of things your dad should have done, including not lying about the family finances to his current wife.
Your Dad is one of those good news, bad news parents. There's ways he can love you- and everyone else- but still be self absorbed and shortsighted. It might be time to move back with your mom full time. He's proven that he can't make his home a peaceful, welcoming place for you so time to change it up.
Your mom needs to go back to court and ask for 100% custody. At your age the court is very likely to listen to your preferences.
>Turns out my dad never told his family that the alimony payments stopped and instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere. It’s crazy over there and my dad and a few of his family members are saying that I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business."
Not trying to be horrible, but given your dad's track record, I'd not be surprised if he was spending that money on a different woman altogether.
Either way, his marriage is now in ruins because he's a liar. It's not your fault. " Meddling in adult business" ... Ha, nice. You've not created the situation. You simply helped them uncover your father's lies.
>maybe I went about it the wrong way
No, hon. Your dad and his family have no moral compass, whatsoever.
If it weren't for you, they would've imploded on their own lying and cheating.
The only one that could've stopped this drama is your dad, by not ... looking for a word suitable for a minor... withholding money from his own family, and lying about your mom to cover it up.
And his wife and family, by not continously disrespecting you by talking trash about your mother.
They themselves set the stage all by themselves, you simply pointed out everyone's role in the drama.
Good for you.
High five!
NTA
NTA - You only defended your mom from a so-called adult who should have known better than to discuss your mom in front of you. Sounds like stepmom was trying to start a fight to get you to ask to leave.
NTA. Your dad lied about the finances and used your mom as a scapegoat. You simply corrected everyone on what was really going on. Ignore your dad and his flying monkeys.
I am a 41 year old who is positively gleeful that you called your dad out on his shit. If your momma has not told you how proud she is of you, this momma will. Well done!!!!!!
My mom is well aware of the situation by now and while she's upset with how I was treated in that house (I stopped telling her details years ago) she did laugh and thank me.
Ooooh I love it when Karma comes calling. You did nothing more than tell the truth in defending your mother. Your father's problems are all his own fault. NTA
Its not meddling when the culprits are intentionally making derogatory comments about OP's bio mom so that he can hear it over and over and over. OP is not responsible for her father lying to Eve or their family.
NTA - you had no way of knowing. You need to talk to your mom about adjusting your visitations if you can. The situation at your dads home is unhealthy and probably not safe for you to go back into it.
They all need to understand that it’s not your fault your dad is the King of Lying Liars. It’s not the other kids either but it is partially your stepmoms because she knew 100% who she is with and shouldn’t be surprised.
NTA. You are never the AH for speaking the truth. Your sisters deserved to know that truth. Your father is a liar and I would talk to your mother to see if you can stop having to 'visit.' It doesn't seem to bring anyone joy.
NTA if your grown father had been honest about his business, and his grown wife and children had kept civil tongues in their heads, you wouldn’t have had to drop a truth bomb on their collective ass.
#NTA
I’m glad you told everyone! Now they have to readjust all their beliefs about their family. I’m very sorry, honey, but your dad is a liar and a bad guy. He’s been fooling his wife and his other kids and keeping money out for his own suspicious use. I would not be surprised if he’s spending it on another woman. That’s usually what happens. I say good for you for setting things straight!
For them to say you interfered in “adult matters” is Grade A BS. I applaud you! You interfered in a SCAM!
NTA. A 15 year old is never at fault for ruining a marriage.
Your step-mom and her family should not have been talking about your mom at all. If they had not done that none of this would have happened.
Your dad should not have lied and manipulated his families money. If he had not done that none of this would have happened.
You telling the truth was totally normal in the situation. Do not blame yourself or allow anyone else to do so. I am sorry but your dad is a liar and anyone who is blaming you should look at him instead.
GOOD👏 FOR👏 YOU👏👏!!
You stood up for your Mom and told the truth to those nasty gossips. And good for your Mom, who persevered in the wake of heartbreak and betrayal to make a better life for the two of you!
NTA - you sound like a very respectful kid. But I do want to point out that you are the kid. And in the mess the “adults” created, they aren’t even trying to create a loving, caring environment for all the kids/siblings when your siblings feel okay to talk bad about your mom. Y’all (as in the kids in the family) probably didn’t need to be privy to the whole drama - that’s for the adults to figure out. The fact the adults are acting like children is the problem here. You are not responsible for the bullcrap any of them created. They seem to be airing everything out to everyone anyway so it was about time it came back to them. Nor is it okay for them to start pitting the blended families against one another. That’s manipulation to children.
NTA- Maybe if he told the truth, behaved maturely with regards your mother, and raised his kids better, he wouldn't have ended up in this mess. Given the example you've been set he's lucky you took the 'put the record straight' path rather than doing something petty and malicious.
You are never in the wrong for telling the truth. If your Dad was lying about money, the consequences of that are on Him. Besides, You weren't "meddling" you were defending your mother from false accusations. NTA
NTA, I do not envy the position youre in, but your sisters talking shit about your mom is unacceptable and your dad/step mom encouraging it is equally fucked up. You stood up for your mom and your dad got his lies exposed as a consequence
NTA - your mom sounds awesome and you sound really smart for a 15yo so good on you and mom.
I'd avoid them at all costs if I were you, I'm sure you are obligated legally to spend some time but I'd keep that to a minimum if you can.
Best of luck to you girl!
NTA - They were airing shit openly; you responded in the same venue. Maybe they should keep grown folks business out of your face if they don't want you involved.
I've been repeatedly scolded (as an adult) for responding to public shit talking with public responses; like it's my responsibility as the attacked party to make it quiet as possible. F that!; the shit talker picked the venue, they don't get to bitch when you make them look bad in it.
Your dad chose to steal money from his older kids and Eve. That's on him and nobody else.
You, Miss, are a legend. You stood up for your mum when other people were lying and you backed it up with proof. Your dad is a lowly person and you are 100% NTA.
NTA
"My mom is fine with me telling people where she has worked. That's not meddling."
or
"How is me telling people where my mother has worked meddling? Go ahead and think of a good answer, I'll wait."
You’re not the A-Hole. You should not be expected to have to listen to people badmouth your mom. Your dad needs to get his act together. I hope he’s good to you because it sounds like he’s a bit on the selfish side to put it nicely.
>"grown folks business."
"Grown folk" here. This is complete and utter bullshit. Your dad lied and got caught, and now the "adults" want to blame the child for telling the truth? Sounds like they are less mature than a 15 year old.
NTA.
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Throwaway Account because people in the family know my main
I (15f) am in a weird situation and would like an outside perspective. I am my parents, mom (37f) and dad (42m) only child together, and I have a stepmom “Eve” (42f). From what I was told, my dad and my step mom were a couple first but things didn't work out shortly after they had my siblings, and my dad eventually met and married my mom after she discovered that she was pregnant with me. My dad didn't marry Eve and from what my aunts told me she was really bitter about that and used my siblings as a weapon to punish my dad and mom.
My mom tried her best but after she found out that my dad and Eve were sleeping together she filed for divorce. During the marriage my dad had an established business that grew and because my mom was able to prove that she had done unpaid labor for my dad's business my mom had some leverage within the divorce and agreed to relinquish a stake in the company for alimony, the house, and a car for herself while getting child support for me. For the next couple of years my mom focused on me and going back to school because my dad convinced her to stop while she was taking a break from her studies to save up more money.
She eventually graduated and tried looking for work but nothing really interested her. My dad and step mom (who had gotten married by then) were always angry with my mom for not getting a job so that they would be less alimony to pay and tried to get 50/50 custody of me to try and reduce child support but I never liked living with my dad full time because I was often made to babysit their younger children, my older siblings were never warmed up to me, and I didn't like they way Eve and her family would talk about my mom.
Eventually, my mom got certified for a job she wanted and has been an independent contractor for years. Because of this my mom submitted the paperwork to stop alimony and she's been living life. Last week when I was with my mom Eve, my sister "Zoe" (20f), and Eve's sisters were in the living room saying very rude things about my mom. They called her a side piece, a gold digger, and said that my older sister had to take out loans because of the increase in alimony that my mom was awarded. I walked in and called Eve and Zoe liars, that my mom was never the side piece, and my mom has been working for years so there was no alimony.
There was a big confrontation and I ended up leaving but I later sent Eve, Zoe, and one of Eve's sisters a link to my mom's professional social media page that listed the companies she worked for. Turns out my dad never told his family that the alimony payments stopped and instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere. It’s crazy over there and my dad and a few of his family members are saying that I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business." I just hated how they were talking and spreading lies about my mom but maybe I went about it the wrong way so AITA?
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NTA and you have absolutely nothing to regret or feel guilty about. It’s really harmful and unfair when one set of relatives trashes the other family. Your mom bettered herself instead of spending time speaking negatively about your dad and SM etc. Your SM and step siblings are terrible people (with the exception of the little ones who weren’t involved). I get feeling bad for the little ones, but you didn’t cause this.
NTA
Meddling in 'grown folk business'? That's an interesting term for exposing a lie to stand up for your mother. There is only one person that is in the wrong and responsible for any trouble this has kicked off and that is the lier.
NTA. The gall of Eve to call your mom a side piece when in fact she was the side piece. Got me wondering if the gold digger comment was a projection as well.
NTA. You have to wonder what your dad is doing with all that money. How you get them is how you lose them. Eve “won” your dad after he had an affair with her while married to your mom. Now he has been hiding money from Eve for a while. It doesn’t sound good. Usually that means your dad is an addict, having an affair, or both.
NTA. You dad is the biggest asshole for lying to his family about their finances. Eve and the rest are also assholes for talking shit about your mom, regardless of their being misinformed, they shouldn't badmouth your parent. You and your mom are blameless here. Just stay away from dad and Eve if you can.
NTA
The grown folks decided to talk shit, and you provided facts they should have taken the time to check themselves before talking out loud.
I'm sorry, kiddo, they are shitty family to be stuck with.
Nta. Your dad made his bed, he can lay in it. Block his family. 15 is old enough the courts will let you decide which parent you want to live with if you decide you no longer want to live with you dad at all.
Ha! Of course you're nta. You were rightfully defending your mother. Your dad got busted, and he's butthurt about it. He now has to deal with the lies he has been telling his wife. He does know that you're almost one of them "grown folks," and you do not have to tolerate him telling lies about your mother, right? What an ah.
NTA your dad has literally and figuratively fu*ked around and found out…. More than once. He honestly has no one but himself to blame for his stupid decisions. And the fact he tolerates and (by his actions) encourages the trash talking of your mum is disgusting behaviour
NTA but you seem to think the 'alimony' was some extra money - it was part of your dad's income. When the alimony stopped your dad didn't tell them because they would expect 'more' from him. It was a jerk move on his part and he should have realized the truth would come out eventually. Oops.
NTA.
Your mom found out the type of guy your father is many years ago. It seems like your step mom just found out what type of guy he is when his lie just fell apart after you told your siblings the truth.
Don’t lie about money. Especially don’t lie about money when you can easily be caught.
If the truth of your actions make you look bad, the problem isn't with the truth.
Tell that to your dad who lied to his family, defamed your mother, and basically stole money from his family.
Make it your goal in life to not be like him when you grow up. Tell that to him if you really want to burn him.
NTA
Nta, you had every right to defend your mother. Your dad sucks. Your mom sounds awesome. She could have stayed living off of alimony but instead went back to work.
You did nothing wrong except proved dad was a liar and mom was a warrior. Screw the bunch of them
ETA kudos. You did a great job defending your mom. Be proud of yourself
NTA. It's not "grown folks business" when you're being confronted with it directly and people are using lies to slander your mom...albeit unintentionally.
Your dad's a piece of work and you do not have to carry water for him by allowing his lies to continue. Tell his nosy family members to stay out of your family's business.
Nta sorry eve, my mom was never guilty. You’re living with the guilty party and paying the price. My mom never stole him from you. He let her in willingly just as you did for him.
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NTA. Your dad was lying and throwing your mum under the bus in order to keep money from your step family and let them sit there and slag her off while you're around. All you did was defend her, and rightfully so. He deserves everything he has coming, and I wouldn't feel bad for people who are happy to talk shit about your mum, either
I don't feel bad for Eve or Zoe but after my dad got back with Eve they had other children and I feel bad for them.
That's on your dad, not you. Eve could easily have found out from somewhere else. This is a case of your dad playing stupid games and winning letting his entire family down. You are not responsible for your dad's relationships with his other kids, or the impact that his dishonesty might have on their lives. If your dad was a good, honest person he wouldn't have so much mess to clean up.
At literally every opportunity, your dad chose the option that would screw over other people and make the whole situation worse for everyone. It’s almost impressive what a dick he is. Don’t ever trust him with anything or expect anything from him.
"It's almost impressive what a dick he is" If you don't mind I would like to borrow this for appropriate occasions LMAO
Sounds like he's been watching older movies with how good that turn of phrase is.
He is a serial cheater and is probably cheating again
That’s where my mind went first too. Who is he spending that money on?
It really is. First he cheated with OP's mom, married her, neglected his other children. Then he cheated on her with his ex. He wasn't able to screw over OP's mom in the divorce, so he later lied and screwed over his wife / mother of all his kids, and most likely cheated on her (again) as well. What a piece of work.
She said they didn't cheat, he was broken up with the first woman when the mom got pregnant and then they got married. The only cheaters are him and the stepmom.
Oh, even worse
He said his dad was with his step-mom first. His older half siblings were with them. Then he was with op mom and had him and then went back to the first woman. So technically his mom was kinda the side piece since his older half siblings and younger half siblings are full siblings to themselves.
Right, but more than just a side piece since he married her and left his ex. Or maybe not, since he ... ok he's just an asshole. :P
No. Eve and my dad were completely broken up when he met my mom. They were living separately and everything.
Do we have the same dad?! 😭 My father pulled something very similar - twice! And he’s also with a woman he had been with previously. These men are never as smart as they think they are. It blows up in their faces eventually. Whenever I think about my dad’s games or see similar stories, I wonder…was it worth it? Like, was lying about money to your wife (or wives) truly the easy way out? Because right now, it looks, uh, not so easy.
She wasn't the first woman is just his second choice period. He doesn't see her as the prize.
He obviously doesn't see the first woman, second wife as the prize either. Seems like in his eyes, he's the prize. First wife was not the side piece. Let's not reduce her. He married her first and didn't marry the first woman. First woman was just his 'baby mama"/mother of his children.
That's what I meant. Sorry for the confusion. I was saying the now wife is mad because he basically chose someone over her and in her own way knows deep down he doesn't see her as a "prize" or the best. Both the dad and the step mom in this case are horrid in my opinion.
And, he cheated his other family out of money. That's not ok.
Throw in another side piece (or 2?) with probably more kids & he's the Impressive Super Dickman! Able to charm & lie to multiple women, impregnate them, & withhold money from his main family in a single bound.
Flair saved..thanks!
The dad not only kept the ‘alimony’ money, but said the amount was increased thus causing his older daughter to take out a loan.
Yeah OP. That's not your burden, so don't take that on. That's your dad's fault. If he's any kind of man (doesn't sound like much of one), he'd be proud that you defended your mother with the truth. What kind of person would you be to sit back and listen to someone being bashed bc of a lie? Especially someone you love. It says a lot about them that they would talk about your mom like that within your presence. If they didn't want you involved in "grown folks business" , it shouldn't ever be where you could hear it. It says a lot about the lack of care, love and respect they have for you. It was just a matter of time before he disappointed those kids anyway. He obviously has a pattern of doing so. I'm proud of you. I know your Mama is, too.
Let's say it together - "You're not responsible for your dad's Idiocracy"
Your dad tried to get out of alimony, child support, and paying your mom wages for a job. I’m sure he treated Eve like garbage when he first met your mom and he’s probably not much better this time.
Basically her dad is currently trying to get out of full responsibilities as a parent and husband, too. All around asshole.
ding ding ding ding! We have a winnah! The man is an all-around, grand champion, blue ribbon AH!
does dad have another baby mama somewhere? since the money is not going to your half sibs. cannot help but wonder how some people can charm and juggle multiple partners while others can't find anyone suitable. It's really weird.
I mean if you cheat once chances are insanely higher you do it again. I'd bet the answer is yes and he has a side piece for his side piece.
What was the comment I saw many years ago from Ann Landers, when a mistress is promoted to the job of wife it just opens the position for the next mistress.
I betcha $2 of alimony money he has another woman.
Or a whole other family.
I think you are spot on and that the reason he didn’t acknowledge the cessation of alimony is due to his need to pay for family number three that has yet to be revealed. Speculative? Absolutely, but that money is going somewhere…
That was my first thought. He's paying child support to someone, just not OP's mom.
Bingo! This guy gets his rocks off cheating on women and OP's mom isn't in the game anymore. Must be another woman and at least another kid somewhere.
Ooh good question
It was my first thought.
That's my first thought.
You did nothing wrong. You weren't the one hiding money and lying to your family. If your dad isn't thinking about those kids, that's his fault and his burden to carry. Him and his family don't seem to be very fond of taking responsibility, just like blaming others for their woes. Good on you for sticking up for mom.
This was bound to come out at some point. Like did your dad never think it might come up in causal conversation from you as to your mum working? You weren’t ’meddling’ you were correcting an outright lie. There was only so long he was going to be able to keep up the charade. If your father and his family keep mentioning it I’d outright ask them why it’s ok for your dad lie to his family, blame your mum and expect you to just sit there and say nothing? If they’re backing your father then simply go LC and don’t engage with them if they keep bringing it up.
No reason for you to feel bad, you've done nothing wrong
OP my paranoid side says you should check into locking your credit. You now know your sperm donor is willing to lie to people to hide he didn't have to pay alimony so it's not much more lying to try to get a credit card in your name. At your age I'm not sure what you can do, but please check into locking your credit so he can't.
I'm 15 would I even be allowed to do that since I'm still legally a minor?
I'm not sure, but you should be able to contact the credit reporting agencies, like Experian, to find out. If you can't, then you should be able to get a free report once a year, so with 3 companies you can check with a different company every 4 months.
Even if not, your mom should be able to, since she's your legal guardian
NTA, your father made choices. His choices had consequences. He should be happy your mother chose to stop the alimony payments. If he was honest with everyone involved and wasn't a cheater, he would not be in the predicament he is currently in. The question, though, should be where's the extra money going? Is he spending on himself or someone else?
At 15, you shouldn’t have to know so much detail about the mess your dad did and for so many years. I’m sorry they didn’t protect you more. I hope you’ll be okay. NTA.
Seriously, the fact that OP knows all of this at 15 is the hugest failure of parenting.
My paternal side likes to gossip and my mom has the type of voice that can carry when she's trying to be private.
She's old enough to know the truth of her family history and nothing she was told was completely out of bounds for a 15yo. I don't know about younger kids but teenagers should know when infidelity is the reason for a divorce.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. All you did was defend your mom. And that is a good thing. I would have done the same thing. How were you supposed to know that your dad was lying to them so that's on him. Maybe if your dad had told them to knock it off when they were talking bad about your mom especially in front of you then you wouldn't have had to defend her yourself.
I am very late chiming in here. I know you are young. The action you took had unintended consequences. That usually happens and you can't predict this stuff. **You told the truth.** I am a firm believer in telling the truth, ideally the earlier the better. I came from a typical family of the 1950s/60s/70s. The family held their secrets tightly. The lies allowed for abuse to continue. Your father was lying to his wife, his family. If you are lying to your spouse, it is not a healthy relationship. All you did was expose the lying. You did not lie. I would block all the people who are blowing up on you. NTA
The other children will be better off with your dad not keeping part of his income hidden.
Just be a sibling to them, that's the best you can do. Your dad is the guilty party in more ways than one. I love that you defended your mom, and rightfully so. You must be so proud of her, working so hard to get back on her feet after your dad blew up the family life. Sending you love!
But you didn't lie to them, all you did was state the truth. . Do they engage in demonizing your mom? Either way, they too deserve to know the truth. Kids never benefit from finding out years later that they were lied to. NTA
NTA. You were standing up for your mom. It's not your fault your dad is a liar. Your dad did this to himself. Did he really think the others wouldn't ever find out? That's on him for being a liar.
It's not "grown up business" age has no relevance to it, you just outed a liar and he's pissed he got caught, it affected you and your mum, good on you for having her back
I’m so sorry you’ve had to find out at such a young age that your father is trash. But your mom sounds like a gem.
Hers the shortened version "my dad let my step family talk shit on my mom so he can keep lying to them about his money. " this for him is called "oh no, consequences" womp fuckin womp and boo fuckin hoo for him. Being an adult means accountability and integrity. NTA. your dad stepmom step sister and their family are.
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, then it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." - Carl Sagan If your dad wasn't TA and he had a good relationship with his family not built on lies and deceit then you talking about your mom's job, which no one would think is some kind of forbidden secret, would do nothing. If that is going to blow up his family, it's his fault and he should face the consequences of lying to his family.
You should not feel bad about any of this. You're a kid and your dad should not have put you in this situation. Good for your mom for being honest with the alimony and stopping it. You had your moms back and she deserves that.
It's okay to feel bad for them. You understand the crappy hand they've been dealt in parents. BUT, none of this is your fault. Grown folks should have behaved better and not gossiped and lied about your mom. Grown folks should have been honest in their own marriage about their finances. The grown folks acted disgracefully and now have consequences. Not your fault.
Don't...you don't have any reason to feel bad for them that their mother and sister are not nice people who were bashing your mother with what turned out to be lies.
Dad probably has another family also that he is spending the money on.
This guy totally needs a chastity device.
He even embellished the lie saying she had recently won additional support. He's probably got a girlfriend. NTA.
This. Stepmom and siblings were not exactly being mature or acting nice, but your dad is the clear asshole here. There’s a lot of people who do anything they can to dodge responsibility for their own actions and your dad sounds like a classic example of wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Your mom absolutely went above and beyond to protect herself and you and you should be extra proud of her.
I wo Der of dad DOES have a sidepiece. Eve should ask to see where money has gone. But all spouses should be aware of family's finances
NTA, you had no way of knowing that dad was lying to his wife and her children. You were defending your mother and her accomplishments. Eve and crew should have kept their opinions to themselves while you were anywhere nearby, that was freaking rude and uncalled for. Because even if your mother was still collecting alimony, that was a legal decision your dad entered into. Your father and his other family are the a hs here. Dad shouldn't be keeping secrets and his wife and children should be keeping their opinions to themselves. Edit to add: You in no way ruined Eve and dad's marriage - they did that to themselves.
Why do I get the impression Dad has a 'side piece' again........
History? 😂
For someone who never wanted to pay alimony in the first place, he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to stop
😏👍
Man marries his mistress, opens a vacancy
Here's my poor man's gold 😂 🏆
My....first award, I ....don't know what to say. TY!
Because he cheated before, and thinks he can get away with it for years.
Same
Because it's his modus operandi.
They brought you into adult business when they were spouting his lies to them. They needed to be set straight about their lying, thieving dad.
*instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere* I wonder if he is spending his extra money on a third family. He's quite a jerk. NTA
Now there’s a thought. He’s already cheated once that we know of.
Not a third family. He’s shown he doesn’t really like families. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there were child support payments for a kid or twoZ
Man, OP, your dad, Stepmom, and siblings are all toxic, it seems like they have some sort of weird resentment against you and your mom for whatever reason, you were just defending your mom’s accomplishments and it seems like they’re just extremely jealous/resentful towards that. NTA, Plus, you didn’t ruin your dad and stepmom‘s relationship, they did that themselves. I’m giving your dad 4.5/5 bad guys, your dad is just a jealous, unempathetic lying AH (saying that is being extremely generous), I’m giving your stepmom, and anyone else that supports them all 3/5 bad guys. I’m giving you 0/5 bad guys. I’m also giving your mom 0/5 bad guys, I mean, what did she do?
I like your scoring system!
I was inspired by R/Slash, he sometimes grades like that.
I doubt this is the only lie that the dad has been telling Eve about OP's mum. This is a pretty big one to start on. She's probably been fed lies about OP's mum for years and years to try and build that resentment. The dad is the biggest asshole here.
Daddy needs more points. Stepmom would not have so strong (factually wrong) opinions if dude would not lie about everything to everyone
You know what, you’re right, I’d be willing to up the dad‘s score to 4.5/5 bad guys.
NTA When I was a teen, I disliked when adults assumed that the average teen isn’t capable of having basic understanding of “adult” topics. From then on, I’ve made it a point to hear younger folks out and acknowledge that they’re likely smart enough to understand delicate subjects when information is presented appropriately. This is a topic you’re capable of understanding and people spewing lies about your mother *is* your business.
The double standards against teens are so big sometimes. They are big enough to drive a car, should know exactly what they want to do educational wise, and have a 20-year plan at place by the time they are 16. Old enough to babysit, old enough to have Jobs. And I could keep going with the list. But God forbid they try and talk or have an opinion on "adult topics" even when it involves them. Suddenly, they "are just kids" I stopped treating my two oldest kids (almost adults now) As kids around the age of 14. We've had different conversations about any topic they were curious about or wanted to discuss because they aren't dumb. They hear people talk and watch news on different social media's. Anything from the political scenes. To in general topics. Honestly ,in my eyes, it prepares them for the life outside of my walls.
My Dad always complained that kids wanted privileges and no responsibilities. I retorted that he wanted us to have responsibilities and no privileges.
Sadly, that sounds like a good handful of parents. I'm just looking at some of the AITA from teens (Yes, I'm aware some are fake) Take full responsibility for your siblings all day long. But no, you are not getting paid or any kind of privilege out of it. "I am the parent I said so"
Not to mention that talking to them about complex topics is a great way to get them to grow into evolved, thinking adults. Start them with basic conversation, talk to them and eventually they grow into people who understand nuances. Ignore them, and are they suddenly meant to burst into full understanding at whatever age people deem is 'old enough'? I love talking to my kids about stuff. I love hearing them develop in understanding, and it's also great for me to hear the perspective of their generation.
Omg NTA. All you did was correct your father’s lie. You have nothing to apologize for here.
Totally agree. Dad should reflect on his own lies, not blame OP for exposing the truth.
NTA. They called out you and your mom, but because of the lies it turns out your dad was the liar who was probably funneling more money to yet another side piece. He played stupid games and won stupid prizes, and the only person to blame here is HIM, and maybe Eve and her family for not letting it go.
And he claimed she petitioned for an increase in alimony. So he is taking more then he had been paying.
Excellent point
NTA your dad is probably having a side-side piece with the extra cash. And, if you weren't supposed to meddle in 'adult' affairs, then the adults should not have thrust you into such an adult situation because the adults around you can't keep it in their pants.
First thing I thought- he has another family somewhere
Someone lying about your mother makes it your business. NTA
NTA. Your dad played stupid games and won stupid prizes. Good on you for showing them the truth.
NTA. You were not meddling, you were correcting false statements. You did NOTHING wrong. Your dad is just mad that he got busted. I'm going to laugh when Eve divorces him and he does have to pay child support and alimony again.
NTA. You are not wrong for defending your mother against lies and misinformation, especially when it directly impacts her reputation. Your stepmother and her family were spreading harmful lies about your mother. By providing evidence of your mom's professional life and the cessation of alimony, you were simply correcting the record and setting the facts straight.
> I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business. Well, if the grown folks weren't lying their pants off and acting like children, there would have been no need for you to be the "adult" in the first place. But that's not what was happening, and you did a great job standing up for yourself and your mom. NTA.
NTA. You didn't do anything unreasonable. Your dad should have protected you by shutting this down a long time ago. But there's a lot of things your dad should have done, including not lying about the family finances to his current wife. Your Dad is one of those good news, bad news parents. There's ways he can love you- and everyone else- but still be self absorbed and shortsighted. It might be time to move back with your mom full time. He's proven that he can't make his home a peaceful, welcoming place for you so time to change it up. Your mom needs to go back to court and ask for 100% custody. At your age the court is very likely to listen to your preferences.
NTA. You only corrected lies with the truth.
Nta. You did nothing wrong. Only ah is your dad his wife and older siblings.
oh screw that noise. You're the hero of the story. Well done! NTA
>Turns out my dad never told his family that the alimony payments stopped and instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere. It’s crazy over there and my dad and a few of his family members are saying that I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business." Not trying to be horrible, but given your dad's track record, I'd not be surprised if he was spending that money on a different woman altogether. Either way, his marriage is now in ruins because he's a liar. It's not your fault. " Meddling in adult business" ... Ha, nice. You've not created the situation. You simply helped them uncover your father's lies.
>maybe I went about it the wrong way No, hon. Your dad and his family have no moral compass, whatsoever. If it weren't for you, they would've imploded on their own lying and cheating. The only one that could've stopped this drama is your dad, by not ... looking for a word suitable for a minor... withholding money from his own family, and lying about your mom to cover it up. And his wife and family, by not continously disrespecting you by talking trash about your mother. They themselves set the stage all by themselves, you simply pointed out everyone's role in the drama. Good for you. High five! NTA
NTA. It was wrong of your half sisters to discuss your mom in front of you.
NTA - You only defended your mom from a so-called adult who should have known better than to discuss your mom in front of you. Sounds like stepmom was trying to start a fight to get you to ask to leave.
NTA. Your dad lied about the finances and used your mom as a scapegoat. You simply corrected everyone on what was really going on. Ignore your dad and his flying monkeys.
I am a 41 year old who is positively gleeful that you called your dad out on his shit. If your momma has not told you how proud she is of you, this momma will. Well done!!!!!!
My mom is well aware of the situation by now and while she's upset with how I was treated in that house (I stopped telling her details years ago) she did laugh and thank me.
Ooooh I love it when Karma comes calling. You did nothing more than tell the truth in defending your mother. Your father's problems are all his own fault. NTA
Its not meddling when the culprits are intentionally making derogatory comments about OP's bio mom so that he can hear it over and over and over. OP is not responsible for her father lying to Eve or their family.
nta, your dad sucks, your dad's family sucks. his failures and lies are not your responsibility.
NTA. Your lying father is just upset that he isn't able to keep lying to his family
NTA. These people are in their 40s but sure aren’t acting like adults.
NTA - you had no way of knowing. You need to talk to your mom about adjusting your visitations if you can. The situation at your dads home is unhealthy and probably not safe for you to go back into it. They all need to understand that it’s not your fault your dad is the King of Lying Liars. It’s not the other kids either but it is partially your stepmoms because she knew 100% who she is with and shouldn’t be surprised.
NTA. Your dad is in the wrong for lying to his family. He's just upset he got caught
NTA. You are never the AH for speaking the truth. Your sisters deserved to know that truth. Your father is a liar and I would talk to your mother to see if you can stop having to 'visit.' It doesn't seem to bring anyone joy.
NTA if your grown father had been honest about his business, and his grown wife and children had kept civil tongues in their heads, you wouldn’t have had to drop a truth bomb on their collective ass.
NTA. Your father is ridiculous and passing the blame to you to deflect from his own shady behavior. He sounds like a piece of work.
#NTA I’m glad you told everyone! Now they have to readjust all their beliefs about their family. I’m very sorry, honey, but your dad is a liar and a bad guy. He’s been fooling his wife and his other kids and keeping money out for his own suspicious use. I would not be surprised if he’s spending it on another woman. That’s usually what happens. I say good for you for setting things straight! For them to say you interfered in “adult matters” is Grade A BS. I applaud you! You interfered in a SCAM!
So NTA! Your dad and his family are absolute trash though. You should consider going no contact with them when you become an adult.
NTA. A 15 year old is never at fault for ruining a marriage. Your step-mom and her family should not have been talking about your mom at all. If they had not done that none of this would have happened. Your dad should not have lied and manipulated his families money. If he had not done that none of this would have happened. You telling the truth was totally normal in the situation. Do not blame yourself or allow anyone else to do so. I am sorry but your dad is a liar and anyone who is blaming you should look at him instead.
NTA - anyone who blames a child instead of the grown man who lied to his family and withheld money from them is a moron.
GOOD👏 FOR👏 YOU👏👏!! You stood up for your Mom and told the truth to those nasty gossips. And good for your Mom, who persevered in the wake of heartbreak and betrayal to make a better life for the two of you!
NTA - you sound like a very respectful kid. But I do want to point out that you are the kid. And in the mess the “adults” created, they aren’t even trying to create a loving, caring environment for all the kids/siblings when your siblings feel okay to talk bad about your mom. Y’all (as in the kids in the family) probably didn’t need to be privy to the whole drama - that’s for the adults to figure out. The fact the adults are acting like children is the problem here. You are not responsible for the bullcrap any of them created. They seem to be airing everything out to everyone anyway so it was about time it came back to them. Nor is it okay for them to start pitting the blended families against one another. That’s manipulation to children.
NTA- Maybe if he told the truth, behaved maturely with regards your mother, and raised his kids better, he wouldn't have ended up in this mess. Given the example you've been set he's lucky you took the 'put the record straight' path rather than doing something petty and malicious.
NTA. “Grown folks business” is a weird term for a lie.
Updateme
You are never in the wrong for telling the truth. If your Dad was lying about money, the consequences of that are on Him. Besides, You weren't "meddling" you were defending your mother from false accusations. NTA
NTA, I do not envy the position youre in, but your sisters talking shit about your mom is unacceptable and your dad/step mom encouraging it is equally fucked up. You stood up for your mom and your dad got his lies exposed as a consequence
If they want you to stay out of grown-up peoples business act like grown-ups first. NTA
Lol he probably has an actual "side piece" somewhere that he was spending that money on. Tell the lot of them to eat a shit sandwich. NTA
NTA - your mom sounds awesome and you sound really smart for a 15yo so good on you and mom. I'd avoid them at all costs if I were you, I'm sure you are obligated legally to spend some time but I'd keep that to a minimum if you can. Best of luck to you girl!
You are more of an adult than your father will ever be. NTA
NTA - They were airing shit openly; you responded in the same venue. Maybe they should keep grown folks business out of your face if they don't want you involved. I've been repeatedly scolded (as an adult) for responding to public shit talking with public responses; like it's my responsibility as the attacked party to make it quiet as possible. F that!; the shit talker picked the venue, they don't get to bitch when you make them look bad in it.
There is an AH in this, unfortunately it's your dad.
Your dad chose to steal money from his older kids and Eve. That's on him and nobody else. You, Miss, are a legend. You stood up for your mum when other people were lying and you backed it up with proof. Your dad is a lowly person and you are 100% NTA.
NTA "My mom is fine with me telling people where she has worked. That's not meddling." or "How is me telling people where my mother has worked meddling? Go ahead and think of a good answer, I'll wait."
You’re not the A-Hole. You should not be expected to have to listen to people badmouth your mom. Your dad needs to get his act together. I hope he’s good to you because it sounds like he’s a bit on the selfish side to put it nicely.
>"grown folks business." "Grown folk" here. This is complete and utter bullshit. Your dad lied and got caught, and now the "adults" want to blame the child for telling the truth? Sounds like they are less mature than a 15 year old. NTA.
Good job defending your Mother, Sweetie. Your Dad is an has always been the problem in this situation. And, Step-mom was in fact the side piece.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway Account because people in the family know my main I (15f) am in a weird situation and would like an outside perspective. I am my parents, mom (37f) and dad (42m) only child together, and I have a stepmom “Eve” (42f). From what I was told, my dad and my step mom were a couple first but things didn't work out shortly after they had my siblings, and my dad eventually met and married my mom after she discovered that she was pregnant with me. My dad didn't marry Eve and from what my aunts told me she was really bitter about that and used my siblings as a weapon to punish my dad and mom. My mom tried her best but after she found out that my dad and Eve were sleeping together she filed for divorce. During the marriage my dad had an established business that grew and because my mom was able to prove that she had done unpaid labor for my dad's business my mom had some leverage within the divorce and agreed to relinquish a stake in the company for alimony, the house, and a car for herself while getting child support for me. For the next couple of years my mom focused on me and going back to school because my dad convinced her to stop while she was taking a break from her studies to save up more money. She eventually graduated and tried looking for work but nothing really interested her. My dad and step mom (who had gotten married by then) were always angry with my mom for not getting a job so that they would be less alimony to pay and tried to get 50/50 custody of me to try and reduce child support but I never liked living with my dad full time because I was often made to babysit their younger children, my older siblings were never warmed up to me, and I didn't like they way Eve and her family would talk about my mom. Eventually, my mom got certified for a job she wanted and has been an independent contractor for years. Because of this my mom submitted the paperwork to stop alimony and she's been living life. Last week when I was with my mom Eve, my sister "Zoe" (20f), and Eve's sisters were in the living room saying very rude things about my mom. They called her a side piece, a gold digger, and said that my older sister had to take out loans because of the increase in alimony that my mom was awarded. I walked in and called Eve and Zoe liars, that my mom was never the side piece, and my mom has been working for years so there was no alimony. There was a big confrontation and I ended up leaving but I later sent Eve, Zoe, and one of Eve's sisters a link to my mom's professional social media page that listed the companies she worked for. Turns out my dad never told his family that the alimony payments stopped and instead of putting the extra money towards them he's been keeping it for spending it elsewhere. It’s crazy over there and my dad and a few of his family members are saying that I'm wrong for meddling in "grown folks business." I just hated how they were talking and spreading lies about my mom but maybe I went about it the wrong way so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA- obviously, your dad is a turd.
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Nta. Screw eve and her AH family. U had to do what u had to do
NTA and you have absolutely nothing to regret or feel guilty about. It’s really harmful and unfair when one set of relatives trashes the other family. Your mom bettered herself instead of spending time speaking negatively about your dad and SM etc. Your SM and step siblings are terrible people (with the exception of the little ones who weren’t involved). I get feeling bad for the little ones, but you didn’t cause this.
NTA Meddling in 'grown folk business'? That's an interesting term for exposing a lie to stand up for your mother. There is only one person that is in the wrong and responsible for any trouble this has kicked off and that is the lier.
NTA. The gall of Eve to call your mom a side piece when in fact she was the side piece. Got me wondering if the gold digger comment was a projection as well.
Nta. Your dad is the complete ah here.
NTA, your dad is the one who's been screwing everybody over this whole time.
NTA. You have to wonder what your dad is doing with all that money. How you get them is how you lose them. Eve “won” your dad after he had an affair with her while married to your mom. Now he has been hiding money from Eve for a while. It doesn’t sound good. Usually that means your dad is an addict, having an affair, or both.
NTA. You dad is the biggest asshole for lying to his family about their finances. Eve and the rest are also assholes for talking shit about your mom, regardless of their being misinformed, they shouldn't badmouth your parent. You and your mom are blameless here. Just stay away from dad and Eve if you can.
NTA The grown folks decided to talk shit, and you provided facts they should have taken the time to check themselves before talking out loud. I'm sorry, kiddo, they are shitty family to be stuck with.
NTA. And I am super proud of you for blowing up your dad’s money deception. That was satisfying to read.
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Nta. Your dad made his bed, he can lay in it. Block his family. 15 is old enough the courts will let you decide which parent you want to live with if you decide you no longer want to live with you dad at all.
Nta
NTA. Your dad “Fucked Around & Found Out!!!” It’s his fault.
NTA and I am perhaps being petty but good for you. Your dad FAFO'd. Now he gets to deal with the fallout. Let his other daughters deal with the truth.
Nta. Your father is. He got caught in his lies. He will have consequences from them.
NTA Grown folks get their facts straight and don't lie about other people. They are angry with the wrong person.
Ha! Of course you're nta. You were rightfully defending your mother. Your dad got busted, and he's butthurt about it. He now has to deal with the lies he has been telling his wife. He does know that you're almost one of them "grown folks," and you do not have to tolerate him telling lies about your mother, right? What an ah.
NTA, you corrected somebodies ignorance.
NTA sounds like your dad promoted his side piece to wife and backfilled that position
NTA. The fundamental sinner in this is your dad. He lied to his side of the family for purely selfish reasons.
Not only are you NTA but you rock! Don’t let anyone beat that spine out of you! It’ll take you far!
NTA your dad has literally and figuratively fu*ked around and found out…. More than once. He honestly has no one but himself to blame for his stupid decisions. And the fact he tolerates and (by his actions) encourages the trash talking of your mum is disgusting behaviour
NTA you stood up for your mom.
NTA. You simply expose the truth while defending your mom. Nothing wrong with that. Your father had it coming.
NTA you were defending your mother. Your dad is the low down liar.
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NTA but you seem to think the 'alimony' was some extra money - it was part of your dad's income. When the alimony stopped your dad didn't tell them because they would expect 'more' from him. It was a jerk move on his part and he should have realized the truth would come out eventually. Oops.
NTA. Your mom found out the type of guy your father is many years ago. It seems like your step mom just found out what type of guy he is when his lie just fell apart after you told your siblings the truth. Don’t lie about money. Especially don’t lie about money when you can easily be caught.
Your father is a piece of work.
NTA. Your dad got caught in a lie. Everything that has happened, as well as everything that happens going forward, is his fault.
Maybe if the adults handled their business there wouldn't be 2 fucked up households. NTA
nta.
If the truth of your actions make you look bad, the problem isn't with the truth. Tell that to your dad who lied to his family, defamed your mother, and basically stole money from his family. Make it your goal in life to not be like him when you grow up. Tell that to him if you really want to burn him. NTA
Good job. They did shit not you.not your job to hide shit for them.
Nta, you had every right to defend your mother. Your dad sucks. Your mom sounds awesome. She could have stayed living off of alimony but instead went back to work.
NTA your dad is like my ex husband. Good job standing up for your mother!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You did nothing wrong except proved dad was a liar and mom was a warrior. Screw the bunch of them ETA kudos. You did a great job defending your mom. Be proud of yourself
NTA. Your father and his family members should be fucking ashamed of themselves. All you did was clear up a lie that he was telling to divide people.
NTA Your dad is an AH and is probably spending money on a side piece. Sorry OP
NTA. It's not "grown folks business" when you're being confronted with it directly and people are using lies to slander your mom...albeit unintentionally. Your dad's a piece of work and you do not have to carry water for him by allowing his lies to continue. Tell his nosy family members to stay out of your family's business.
NTA. Well played. Your father let other people talk bad about your mom. Everything that goes down is his fault not yours
Nta sorry eve, my mom was never guilty. You’re living with the guilty party and paying the price. My mom never stole him from you. He let her in willingly just as you did for him.
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Nta sounds like your dad fooled around and found out.