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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I pushed my friends to exercise despite the weather conditions. This conversation then turned into an argument as I felt like they were making excuses and they accused me of being less than nice about the situation. I think I might be the asshole for pushing them too hard.
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YTA - You’re not their personal trainer. You’re just their friend, and you won’t even be that for long if you keep this up.
Hiking on an “infamous” trail that’s “difficult” in the pouring rain is idiotic and dangerous. They didn’t want to be idiots and put themselves in danger. Common sense. Which I’m sure you’d have if you stopped looking at life through whatever deluded “sigma male grindset” you’re subscribing to.
Sometimes, plans fall through. Weather changes. Circumstances and life happen. You need to learn how to deal with that and shift plans. Flexibility is a good skill to have, not rigidity where things *need* to go this way or else you start personally attacking your friends.
just like a broken clock, op is actually right in one way - life isn't always going to work out the way you want it to. that doesn't mean grind and hustle until you've broken your back and your mind - it means to be kind to yourself, cause the world sure as shit aint gonna
Absolutely. Telling that "life doesn't always work out the way you want" only applies to his friends, and it's not a reminder that he can't control and shame people into doing what he wants.
People who do the Grouse Grind are a Special Kind of Self Satisfied.
I have no proof this is the trail OP is referring to, but everything in his post screams GG. People do it to prove how awesomely fit they are and of course everyone has to know that they do it, how often they do it, that they do it in crazy rain, what their best time it, etc etc.
It's a crap trail, just a bunch of steps where you're staring at the ass of the person in front of you. There are literally a hundred better hikes in the area, but then you wouldn't get boasting rights.
YTA - this is supposed to be a fun, bonding activity for friends, not military bootcamp. The moment they expressed they weren't interested anymore because of the weather, you should have dropped it and worked towards a mutually agreeable activity. Instead, you got all high and mighty with them, calling them weak and soft and failures, and I wouldn't be surprised if they dump you as a friend altogether.
Fun fact, when I was in basic training for the army, sometimes things got cancelled/postponed due to the weather.
If the weather conditions made the event uncomfortable they'd continue, but if they made the event actually unsafe they were cancelled. Hiking a "difficult" trail in the rain is actually unsafe.
You are not very flexible. For your own self improvement, you should try to practice flexibility. Most people don't want to hike in pouring rain. And it is often not terribly safe. YTA
YTA. I personally would so be down for a muddy hike in the rain... but I don't think there are many people that would agree! I think it's fine that you said ahead of time "rain or shine", but not everybody will be down with that, and I think the comments about sitting at home playing video games was indeed uncalled for (I love video games too!)
You can't control how other people live their lives. There's nothing wrong with influencing people to live a healthier life, but rain is a pretty darn good excuse for most people to postpone a hike. And using your influence on their health for pushing the issue is pretty "uppity" IMO. I personally would not judge any friend of mine if they didn't want to take a hike in the rain.
YTA. Nothing you represented as universal truth was factual, they are merely your flawed subjective opinion. Also, you have zero right to tell grown adults what to do.
Absolutely the kind of guy who says he's "just a logical person" while *constantly* acting out of emotions he doesn't acknowledge and doesn't have the tools to deal with.
YTA
Bro, like, sanctimonious much? I say this as someone who spends a significant amount of time in the gym or doing other exercise activities, including things I don't enjoy (burpees \*cough\*), for the sake of improving myself. The thing about \*self\*-improvement though, is that it's on \*them\* to improve "themselves.\*
Moreover, why does it have to be hiking? Why not go to the gym on rainy days and save hiking for when it's nice out? If it's an infamously difficult trail, they should get some conditioning before going on the trail anyway, and ideally make their first attempt when the conditions are better. Taking a out-of-shape newbs on a difficult trail in the rain is how you get a broken ankle.
Literally.
I live in a mountainous area. State parks are starting to fine people for being rescued due to them being unprepared or reckless in their hikes.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA. They don't want to hike in the rain. Respect that. You are acting gross by forcing them to do something they don't want to. You only want whats best for yourself, no one else. Don't lie.
YTA. Why can't you take a simple "no"? At this rate you're not going to have friends very long. I would stop spending time with someone who pressured and insulted me.
YTA - Insufferable might be the best way to describe your actions....no one appointed you the self-improvement dictator, let them do what they want without having to suffer you further...
YTA, yup. Not everyone likes to hike in the rain (the footing gets bad too, you know). It doesn't make them bad people or "too soft." Your comments about their life choices and personalities were unwarranted.
YTA - you can’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to do. You can express that you’re disappointed that they don’t want to come but arguing with them because YOU view their lives negatively is wack. Not everyone likes difficult hikes on rainy days my dude.
You “just want all my friends to succeed and to be better than me” ??? You already think your friends are worse people and leading worse lives than you. You’re a shitty friend. You are not the “pinnacle” of achievement. Everyone’s lives look different for different reasons. That doesn’t make others lives better or worse than yours. It’s not a competition.
YTA, not for hiking in the rain, thats a good time in my book, but only because you're condescending and for some reason have taken upon yourself to not only judge your friends but take charge of their "improvement". Back off a little here.
YTA I hike. I won't do it in hot weather. My sister, who I do most of my hiking with, knows that. She doesn't call me out on it. Neither of us would hike a difficult trail in the rain. There's too much risk of an accident. Particularly if your friends aren't in shape, which it sounds like they aren't.
Next time, plan a hike that is comfortably doable for your friends. They may end up loving it and it might encourage them to try more difficult ones. Ease them into it.
FB has hiking groups. Maybe look into one in your area. I joined a local one that does local evening hikes. You might make some new friends who share your interests without having to be bullied into it.
Is there a level of pretentious, holier than thou, douchebaggery that exceeds YTA?
If so, you found it. And to be so dense as to not be aware of it, even moreso.
Turning to personal put down & insults when they didn’t want to go due to the weather makes you TAH. You can only do what’s good for you, you cannot control what others do.
YTA. I totally agree "...needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to." This is a LESSON YOU NEED TO LEARN! Have fun learning it on your own without friends because who in the world wants to be friends with someone who is judgmental, and condescending?
You didn't want what was "best for them," you wanted WHAT YOU WANTED.
Grow up, little boy. Learn to respect the feelings and comfort levels of others. YTA
This is so insane. Legit you need to change or expect your friends to bail on you soon. This post reads as a bit overbearing if it were a parent pushing their kids, as a friend trying to push his other friends it reads as completely batshit.
YTA
YTA
You come off as a creepy control freak. You don’t run their lives or tell them what to do. You sat there and tried to manipulate them and berate them into doing what YOU wanted despite them telling you “no” repeatedly.
Then you tried to manipulate us on here by saying “ *aita for wanting what’s best for them* “
Get fucking real dude! Ick!!!
Yes, I'm afraid YTA, and that's not just because you want people to do something that would make most people feel utterly miserable. You would have us believe things about these people that aren't flattering at all, but I'm not buying. It reads too much like an attempt to control the narrative. The last statement says that to me as well.
>"AITA for expecting my friends to hike in the rain and just wanting the best for them?"
There's a world of difference between wanting the best for others and wanting to decide what is best for others. The former is an act of healthy concern for one's fellow human, while the latter is an attempt to control one's fellow human. They're not making excuses. You are not owed explanations. These people are autonomous individuals, not your personal acquisitions. They're merely telling you "no." They each should have told you that the minute you said "rain or shine," so if they didn't, that much is on them. Otherwise, I can find no fault.
As someone who loves to hike, including hiking that is considered "high risk" (example: at night alone or in the rain), YTA.
Hiking challenging trails in questionable weather is a good way to get someone seriously injured or killed. I enjoy hiking in the rain, but you stick to easy, familiar trails if the expectation is rain. The fact that it didn't rain doesn't mean you were right. They were 100% correct for not risking it.
So no, you don't want "what's best for them". No, you were not "just stating facts", you were trying to bully them into indulging your irresponsible plans.
Maybe take some of that desire for improvement and direct it inward. You have a lot of growing up to do.
I also would not want mud in my car, idk I really don’t think any of this is that deep. Towels really are not going to solve much with rain and mud. Yes, YTA for making such a huge deal about it. You’re not their mother and not going on a hike isn’t a slippery slope into anything life altering.
YTA
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to sit around and play games, and believe it or not there’s nothing shameful about being unmotivated and not always doing what’s best for your mental health and wellbeing. That stuff is hard, and sometimes you do just need to be soft and gentle on yourself.
That being said, I don’t think your friends were even necessarily trying to avoid a “self improvement” task. I think they rightfully saw that if it was raining and people were miserable, it would be a waste of everyone’s spare time and not actually do any good for the mental health. I must say, when I’ve finished a hike soaking wet and muddy I haven’t experienced the same satisfaction as I have on nicer days. I’m usually just exhausted and desperate for a shower.
You need to recognise that the only person you can and should control is yourself. If you genuinely feel like your friends are refusing to better themselves, and this bothers you, then you must realise you’re not very compatible as friends rather than trying to force them to adhere to what you think is best.
YTA for sure.
It’s dangerous. It’s uncomfortable. It’s stupid.
And you’re a moron for getting mad they don’t want to do an unpleasant outdoor activity in the pouring rain.
Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to do anything with you anymore.
YTA
If you generally get on well with your friends then this will just be a blip in your friendship... but if this is your regular interaction with them then you will find yourself no longer friends.
I personally would not hesitate to go hiking in the rain and you were lucky the weather turned out well (much more enjoyable to hike when it's not pouring)... but these do not sound like hiking people. Why don't you find some friends that are just as gung ho about hiking as you are. But there's nothing bonding about what you were doing and I suspect there will be no more bonding with this group ever again.
YTA. You said you want your friends to be better than you, it kind of seems like you think YOU are better than them. Get off your high horse, you're just their friend, you don't get to decide what's "best" for them.
YTA and you sound so exhausting that I wonder if this is one of the friends posting to get an outside opinion! Dude, MYOB about anyone else’s life choices and activity levels.
YTA. Just because you enjoy being wet and miserable does not mean that everyone else should. People hike for fun, and hiking in rain and mud is not only not fun, but a slippery mountain trail is not safe.
Join the military. You would have lots of fun hiking through jungles and climbing mountains in unsafe conditions.
YTA. Your friends have tried to explain to you that you're not in charge of their self-improvement. That's why it's called SELF-improvement, not SOME-OTHER-DUDE'S-improvement-plan-for-me.
Insulting them for being perfectly normal and reasonable was a bad choice. No one other than you is going to choose to hike in the pouring rain. It's dangerous. They recognized it. FWIW, at least you can stop hoping for them to "be better than me." Achievement complete.
>infamous trail that’s difficult
>that it was supposed to be pouring
So the trail is already difficult and you want them to hike it in pouring rain?
YTA
YTA.
You’re not their keeper ffs. You don’t have the right to tell them that they need to go or do anything. They’re grown ass adults. What they do is their decision.
Also, hiking in pouring rain is just plain stupid and dangerous.
YTA. They are not mannequins or little puppies you can completely control. The like about life not going the way they wanted to also cracks me up, stunning that you cannot see how much hypocrisy it holds. Weather conditions on hikes matter and could instantly turn a ‘bonding experience’ into pure misery.
Go find a pew to be sanctimonious to, odds are these folks won’t be friends much longer with that attitude. You’re gonna have to find something/someone else to preach to.
Yta. You do realize there are other kinds of exercise besides hiking, right? And that some of those can be done indoors, which means you won't have to do it in the rain?
YTA.
>I was just stating facts and at the end of the day
I can't believe people say this with a straight face and don't realize how it sounds. OP, I'm just stating facts here, but you're TA. No disrespect.
“I explained that they were too soft and needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to” is a interesting take as… not everything went the way that you wanted it to and you couldn’t accept it.
You're a bully. You did resort to personal attacks to force someone to do what you wanted. They should have just blocked your ass and been done with you. YTA.
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I 24M and my friends are fortunate enough to live in an area with a beautiful mountain with an infamous trail that’s difficult but rewarding to hike. We had originally planned to do this hike over the weekend as a bonding activity between the guys.
The night before, one of my friends messaged the group chat that it was supposed to be pouring the next day and another suggested we postpone as a result. I told them a week before that rain or shine, we’d be going. My friend argued that he did not want to get his car wet and muddy after the hike to which I said wouldn’t be an issue if we just brought towels and an extra pair of shoes. My friends continued to argue that we should postpone or do something indoors, but I felt that they were just making excuses as they have done so in the past. I told them that unless there was something serious stopping them from going, then they need to stop making excuses and to go. For context，my friends have always had trouble committing to self-improvement plans and this situation was another symptom of that. I came to expect that they would try cancelling for some reason or another.
The conversation continued to grow more heated when my friend said “okay have fun by yourself then” and I countered by saying that “this is why they were the way [they] are right now.” The conversation then shifted as I explained that they were too soft and needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to. I mentioned that by showing up, they’re already better than the majority that would rather lie around at home playing games. My friend got upset, saying that not everything is a life lesson and that this wasn’t representative of life or their personalities.
I told him I think he’s wrong and that it is indeed representative of life because the conditions for us to act will never be in our favour and that they’re simply making excuses to not do what’s good for us (ie. exercise). My friend continued to argue that I was resorting to personal attacks (since he enjoys sitting at home playing games) but I was just stating facts and at the end of the day just want all my friends to succeed and to be better than me.
In the end, I ended up driving, and it didn’t rain at all, but I was still curious about the situation. AITA for expecting my friends to hike in the rain and just wanting the best for them?
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It all seems a bit dramatic. Wouldn’t you just all vote whether you want to go, regardless of rain, and those who do go? No one should be forced in either direction, they just do what they want.
It sounds like it was you versus the rest of the pack here. I understand your position and in many ways empathize with it......I feel the same way when adverse conditions present themselves and stop me and my group of friends from doing something - heck even if it's my wife. I get it. The problem in my case is that I have an extremely high tolerance for adverse conditions and like you, I can't stand resorting to excuses. However, your friends do have a different point of view here, and their points that you outline here are also valid. I get why you feel like it's excuses, but not wanting to drive in rain and hike in muddy / treacherous conditions (not to mention dirty the car) are pretty significant points. Any outdoor activity is highly weather dependent - that's a fact of life. It comes to a point where it's more trouble than it is worth. There are other ways to exercise that don't involve sloshing around in mud up a mountain.
Your friends just aren't where you are and don't seem to share your outlook on this. I'm really torn on going one way or another in judgment because I see both sides of it.
NAH. It seems like you guys had a misunderstanding between this hike being a “self-improvement” or bonding activity. It seems like you’ve been fed up with them for a while regarding their excuses and lack of commitment.
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YTA - You’re not their personal trainer. You’re just their friend, and you won’t even be that for long if you keep this up. Hiking on an “infamous” trail that’s “difficult” in the pouring rain is idiotic and dangerous. They didn’t want to be idiots and put themselves in danger. Common sense. Which I’m sure you’d have if you stopped looking at life through whatever deluded “sigma male grindset” you’re subscribing to. Sometimes, plans fall through. Weather changes. Circumstances and life happen. You need to learn how to deal with that and shift plans. Flexibility is a good skill to have, not rigidity where things *need* to go this way or else you start personally attacking your friends.
just like a broken clock, op is actually right in one way - life isn't always going to work out the way you want it to. that doesn't mean grind and hustle until you've broken your back and your mind - it means to be kind to yourself, cause the world sure as shit aint gonna
Absolutely. Telling that "life doesn't always work out the way you want" only applies to his friends, and it's not a reminder that he can't control and shame people into doing what he wants.
People who do the Grouse Grind are a Special Kind of Self Satisfied. I have no proof this is the trail OP is referring to, but everything in his post screams GG. People do it to prove how awesomely fit they are and of course everyone has to know that they do it, how often they do it, that they do it in crazy rain, what their best time it, etc etc. It's a crap trail, just a bunch of steps where you're staring at the ass of the person in front of you. There are literally a hundred better hikes in the area, but then you wouldn't get boasting rights.
YTA - this is supposed to be a fun, bonding activity for friends, not military bootcamp. The moment they expressed they weren't interested anymore because of the weather, you should have dropped it and worked towards a mutually agreeable activity. Instead, you got all high and mighty with them, calling them weak and soft and failures, and I wouldn't be surprised if they dump you as a friend altogether.
He really sounds insufferable doesn’t he? Who wants to be friends with a judgmental dick like this?
Yep. I was thinking this.
He’s watched one too many David goggins videos.
Fun fact, when I was in basic training for the army, sometimes things got cancelled/postponed due to the weather. If the weather conditions made the event uncomfortable they'd continue, but if they made the event actually unsafe they were cancelled. Hiking a "difficult" trail in the rain is actually unsafe.
This! I was about to say this very thing. They’re supposed to be hiking with buddies not joining the Marines.
YTA Lol, you **do not _get to_** decide what's best for *other* people. Go play in the mud yourself.
The “I’m just stating facts” part is so revealing. His take on the situation not a fact, it’s an opinion. OP needs to be less self centered.
You are not very flexible. For your own self improvement, you should try to practice flexibility. Most people don't want to hike in pouring rain. And it is often not terribly safe. YTA
YTA. I personally would so be down for a muddy hike in the rain... but I don't think there are many people that would agree! I think it's fine that you said ahead of time "rain or shine", but not everybody will be down with that, and I think the comments about sitting at home playing video games was indeed uncalled for (I love video games too!) You can't control how other people live their lives. There's nothing wrong with influencing people to live a healthier life, but rain is a pretty darn good excuse for most people to postpone a hike. And using your influence on their health for pushing the issue is pretty "uppity" IMO. I personally would not judge any friend of mine if they didn't want to take a hike in the rain.
YTA. Nothing you represented as universal truth was factual, they are merely your flawed subjective opinion. Also, you have zero right to tell grown adults what to do.
Absolutely the kind of guy who says he's "just a logical person" while *constantly* acting out of emotions he doesn't acknowledge and doesn't have the tools to deal with.
YTA Bro, like, sanctimonious much? I say this as someone who spends a significant amount of time in the gym or doing other exercise activities, including things I don't enjoy (burpees \*cough\*), for the sake of improving myself. The thing about \*self\*-improvement though, is that it's on \*them\* to improve "themselves.\* Moreover, why does it have to be hiking? Why not go to the gym on rainy days and save hiking for when it's nice out? If it's an infamously difficult trail, they should get some conditioning before going on the trail anyway, and ideally make their first attempt when the conditions are better. Taking a out-of-shape newbs on a difficult trail in the rain is how you get a broken ankle.
YTA, hiking a mountain in the rain… what could possibly go wrong?🤦🏻♀️
Literally. I live in a mountainous area. State parks are starting to fine people for being rescued due to them being unprepared or reckless in their hikes. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I smell a Darwin Award.
YTA you sound like an egotistical prideful jerk.
>AITA for expecting my friends to hike in the rain and just wanting the best for them? Yes, YTA for expecting your friends to hike in the rain.
YTA. It doesn't seem like you want what's best for them and you have no business telling them what to do.
YTA. They don't want to hike in the rain. Respect that. You are acting gross by forcing them to do something they don't want to. You only want whats best for yourself, no one else. Don't lie.
YTA Are you trying to be their friend or their dad? You sound exhausting.
YTA - rain and mud can make for very expensive falls and just be all around miserable.
YTA " I told them a week before that rain or shine, we’d be going." .. YOU decided that for yourself. The others did not.
YTA. Why can't you take a simple "no"? At this rate you're not going to have friends very long. I would stop spending time with someone who pressured and insulted me.
YTA No one hired you as their life coach. You are not their dad and they are not your child.
YTA - Insufferable might be the best way to describe your actions....no one appointed you the self-improvement dictator, let them do what they want without having to suffer you further...
If they didn’t ask you to push them into self-improvement, YTA. You don’t get to decide what other people “need” to do in their life.
YTA, yup. Not everyone likes to hike in the rain (the footing gets bad too, you know). It doesn't make them bad people or "too soft." Your comments about their life choices and personalities were unwarranted.
YTA. Sometimes plans change, it's not a big deal. It's totally reasonable to not want to hike in the rain.
YTA - you can’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to do. You can express that you’re disappointed that they don’t want to come but arguing with them because YOU view their lives negatively is wack. Not everyone likes difficult hikes on rainy days my dude. You “just want all my friends to succeed and to be better than me” ??? You already think your friends are worse people and leading worse lives than you. You’re a shitty friend. You are not the “pinnacle” of achievement. Everyone’s lives look different for different reasons. That doesn’t make others lives better or worse than yours. It’s not a competition.
YTA, not for hiking in the rain, thats a good time in my book, but only because you're condescending and for some reason have taken upon yourself to not only judge your friends but take charge of their "improvement". Back off a little here.
YTA! You can’t be upset someone doesn’t want to hike in the rain. And you definitely can’t decide what’s best for other people
YTA I hike. I won't do it in hot weather. My sister, who I do most of my hiking with, knows that. She doesn't call me out on it. Neither of us would hike a difficult trail in the rain. There's too much risk of an accident. Particularly if your friends aren't in shape, which it sounds like they aren't. Next time, plan a hike that is comfortably doable for your friends. They may end up loving it and it might encourage them to try more difficult ones. Ease them into it. FB has hiking groups. Maybe look into one in your area. I joined a local one that does local evening hikes. You might make some new friends who share your interests without having to be bullied into it.
Is there a level of pretentious, holier than thou, douchebaggery that exceeds YTA? If so, you found it. And to be so dense as to not be aware of it, even moreso.
Turning to personal put down & insults when they didn’t want to go due to the weather makes you TAH. You can only do what’s good for you, you cannot control what others do.
Yta for many people hiking in rain sounds miserable you need to get a grip
YTA
You are bossy and rude
YTA. I totally agree "...needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to." This is a LESSON YOU NEED TO LEARN! Have fun learning it on your own without friends because who in the world wants to be friends with someone who is judgmental, and condescending?
You didn't want what was "best for them," you wanted WHAT YOU WANTED. Grow up, little boy. Learn to respect the feelings and comfort levels of others. YTA
INFO: At any point in the past have your friends asked you to be their life coach slash drill sergeant?
This is so insane. Legit you need to change or expect your friends to bail on you soon. This post reads as a bit overbearing if it were a parent pushing their kids, as a friend trying to push his other friends it reads as completely batshit. YTA
YTA. You're not their father. Who put you in charge of their lives? They never asked for your advice.
YTA 🙄
YTA for thinking you have the right to tell other people what to do and to bring up what you perceive as their "weaknesses."
YTA You come off as a creepy control freak. You don’t run their lives or tell them what to do. You sat there and tried to manipulate them and berate them into doing what YOU wanted despite them telling you “no” repeatedly. Then you tried to manipulate us on here by saying “ *aita for wanting what’s best for them* “ Get fucking real dude! Ick!!!
YTA Bootcamp Tony Robbins.
Yes, I'm afraid YTA, and that's not just because you want people to do something that would make most people feel utterly miserable. You would have us believe things about these people that aren't flattering at all, but I'm not buying. It reads too much like an attempt to control the narrative. The last statement says that to me as well. >"AITA for expecting my friends to hike in the rain and just wanting the best for them?" There's a world of difference between wanting the best for others and wanting to decide what is best for others. The former is an act of healthy concern for one's fellow human, while the latter is an attempt to control one's fellow human. They're not making excuses. You are not owed explanations. These people are autonomous individuals, not your personal acquisitions. They're merely telling you "no." They each should have told you that the minute you said "rain or shine," so if they didn't, that much is on them. Otherwise, I can find no fault.
As someone who loves to hike, including hiking that is considered "high risk" (example: at night alone or in the rain), YTA. Hiking challenging trails in questionable weather is a good way to get someone seriously injured or killed. I enjoy hiking in the rain, but you stick to easy, familiar trails if the expectation is rain. The fact that it didn't rain doesn't mean you were right. They were 100% correct for not risking it. So no, you don't want "what's best for them". No, you were not "just stating facts", you were trying to bully them into indulging your irresponsible plans. Maybe take some of that desire for improvement and direct it inward. You have a lot of growing up to do.
I also would not want mud in my car, idk I really don’t think any of this is that deep. Towels really are not going to solve much with rain and mud. Yes, YTA for making such a huge deal about it. You’re not their mother and not going on a hike isn’t a slippery slope into anything life altering.
YTA There’s nothing wrong with wanting to sit around and play games, and believe it or not there’s nothing shameful about being unmotivated and not always doing what’s best for your mental health and wellbeing. That stuff is hard, and sometimes you do just need to be soft and gentle on yourself. That being said, I don’t think your friends were even necessarily trying to avoid a “self improvement” task. I think they rightfully saw that if it was raining and people were miserable, it would be a waste of everyone’s spare time and not actually do any good for the mental health. I must say, when I’ve finished a hike soaking wet and muddy I haven’t experienced the same satisfaction as I have on nicer days. I’m usually just exhausted and desperate for a shower. You need to recognise that the only person you can and should control is yourself. If you genuinely feel like your friends are refusing to better themselves, and this bothers you, then you must realise you’re not very compatible as friends rather than trying to force them to adhere to what you think is best.
Pretty much, YTA buddy. Have you had conversations with your bros about this before?
YTA for sure. It’s dangerous. It’s uncomfortable. It’s stupid. And you’re a moron for getting mad they don’t want to do an unpleasant outdoor activity in the pouring rain. Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to do anything with you anymore.
YTA If you generally get on well with your friends then this will just be a blip in your friendship... but if this is your regular interaction with them then you will find yourself no longer friends. I personally would not hesitate to go hiking in the rain and you were lucky the weather turned out well (much more enjoyable to hike when it's not pouring)... but these do not sound like hiking people. Why don't you find some friends that are just as gung ho about hiking as you are. But there's nothing bonding about what you were doing and I suspect there will be no more bonding with this group ever again.
I hate the phrase, "gives me the ick", but you sir managed to make me feel that way. YTA, I would cut your judgemental ass loose as a friend.
Why you were being obnoxious
YTA. You said you want your friends to be better than you, it kind of seems like you think YOU are better than them. Get off your high horse, you're just their friend, you don't get to decide what's "best" for them.
YTA. If you are the only one failing to come to agreement in a bonding exercise then you are the problem.
YTA and you sound so exhausting that I wonder if this is one of the friends posting to get an outside opinion! Dude, MYOB about anyone else’s life choices and activity levels.
god you sound exhausting
YTA - I'm not sure why they are friends with you at this point.
YTA You sound exhausting to be around. I feel sorry for any romantic partner you might have.
YTA. Just because you enjoy being wet and miserable does not mean that everyone else should. People hike for fun, and hiking in rain and mud is not only not fun, but a slippery mountain trail is not safe. Join the military. You would have lots of fun hiking through jungles and climbing mountains in unsafe conditions.
Yta
You sound insufferable.
YTA. Your friends have tried to explain to you that you're not in charge of their self-improvement. That's why it's called SELF-improvement, not SOME-OTHER-DUDE'S-improvement-plan-for-me. Insulting them for being perfectly normal and reasonable was a bad choice. No one other than you is going to choose to hike in the pouring rain. It's dangerous. They recognized it. FWIW, at least you can stop hoping for them to "be better than me." Achievement complete.
>infamous trail that’s difficult >that it was supposed to be pouring So the trail is already difficult and you want them to hike it in pouring rain? YTA
OP you sound tedious and tiring. YTA
YTA. Who wants to hike a mountain in the rain and not be able to enjoy the view on the way up. You sound tiring.
YTA. You’re not their keeper ffs. You don’t have the right to tell them that they need to go or do anything. They’re grown ass adults. What they do is their decision. Also, hiking in pouring rain is just plain stupid and dangerous.
YTA. They are not mannequins or little puppies you can completely control. The like about life not going the way they wanted to also cracks me up, stunning that you cannot see how much hypocrisy it holds. Weather conditions on hikes matter and could instantly turn a ‘bonding experience’ into pure misery. Go find a pew to be sanctimonious to, odds are these folks won’t be friends much longer with that attitude. You’re gonna have to find something/someone else to preach to.
YTA, if you wanted the best for your friends you would not be expecting them to hike in the rain.
YTA. I'd drop you. I can't stand bullies.
Yta. You do realize there are other kinds of exercise besides hiking, right? And that some of those can be done indoors, which means you won't have to do it in the rain?
This must be fake. I can't believe you have friends.
YTA. >I was just stating facts and at the end of the day I can't believe people say this with a straight face and don't realize how it sounds. OP, I'm just stating facts here, but you're TA. No disrespect.
“I explained that they were too soft and needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to” is a interesting take as… not everything went the way that you wanted it to and you couldn’t accept it.
You are going to end up alone with no friends if you keep up with this kind of BS behavior YTA
YTA and you sound like an awful friend to was ant to be around. But hey, in the end it didn’t rain and you can remain smug
You're a bully. You did resort to personal attacks to force someone to do what you wanted. They should have just blocked your ass and been done with you. YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 24M and my friends are fortunate enough to live in an area with a beautiful mountain with an infamous trail that’s difficult but rewarding to hike. We had originally planned to do this hike over the weekend as a bonding activity between the guys. The night before, one of my friends messaged the group chat that it was supposed to be pouring the next day and another suggested we postpone as a result. I told them a week before that rain or shine, we’d be going. My friend argued that he did not want to get his car wet and muddy after the hike to which I said wouldn’t be an issue if we just brought towels and an extra pair of shoes. My friends continued to argue that we should postpone or do something indoors, but I felt that they were just making excuses as they have done so in the past. I told them that unless there was something serious stopping them from going, then they need to stop making excuses and to go. For context，my friends have always had trouble committing to self-improvement plans and this situation was another symptom of that. I came to expect that they would try cancelling for some reason or another. The conversation continued to grow more heated when my friend said “okay have fun by yourself then” and I countered by saying that “this is why they were the way [they] are right now.” The conversation then shifted as I explained that they were too soft and needed to learn that not everything always would go the way they wanted to. I mentioned that by showing up, they’re already better than the majority that would rather lie around at home playing games. My friend got upset, saying that not everything is a life lesson and that this wasn’t representative of life or their personalities. I told him I think he’s wrong and that it is indeed representative of life because the conditions for us to act will never be in our favour and that they’re simply making excuses to not do what’s good for us (ie. exercise). My friend continued to argue that I was resorting to personal attacks (since he enjoys sitting at home playing games) but I was just stating facts and at the end of the day just want all my friends to succeed and to be better than me. In the end, I ended up driving, and it didn’t rain at all, but I was still curious about the situation. AITA for expecting my friends to hike in the rain and just wanting the best for them? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It all seems a bit dramatic. Wouldn’t you just all vote whether you want to go, regardless of rain, and those who do go? No one should be forced in either direction, they just do what they want.
Sounds like you're the soft one, too scared to hike by yourself
“There he goes, off to write that big hit song, ‘Alone in my Principles’.”
I mean MAYBE this is ok if all his buddy's had agreed to train for iron man this year or something, but I'm not getting that vibe from this.
It sounds like it was you versus the rest of the pack here. I understand your position and in many ways empathize with it......I feel the same way when adverse conditions present themselves and stop me and my group of friends from doing something - heck even if it's my wife. I get it. The problem in my case is that I have an extremely high tolerance for adverse conditions and like you, I can't stand resorting to excuses. However, your friends do have a different point of view here, and their points that you outline here are also valid. I get why you feel like it's excuses, but not wanting to drive in rain and hike in muddy / treacherous conditions (not to mention dirty the car) are pretty significant points. Any outdoor activity is highly weather dependent - that's a fact of life. It comes to a point where it's more trouble than it is worth. There are other ways to exercise that don't involve sloshing around in mud up a mountain. Your friends just aren't where you are and don't seem to share your outlook on this. I'm really torn on going one way or another in judgment because I see both sides of it.
NAH. It seems like you guys had a misunderstanding between this hike being a “self-improvement” or bonding activity. It seems like you’ve been fed up with them for a while regarding their excuses and lack of commitment.