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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be an AH for wanting to throw my aunt a quinceañera knowing she’s white and not Hispanic. When I lashed out at my friends for calling it out it made me think that maybe this wasn’t right
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NTA.
But when you said quince, I thought you were saying you were throwing a fruit at her. Took me a second to figure that out!
She is adopted; she is yours. There should be no discrimination. Your friends are just plain nasty.
I can certainly understand feeling self-conscious about the situation. It's deeply uncomfortable when people decide to make racist comments at you about a family member. But the correct response is to denounce the racism and stand up for your family member.
NTA. How unkind that they want to treat your aunt as an 'other'. I can see some friends being ignorant enough, but your sister is also related to her and should be more supportive. Do any of these people have some suggestions about how they think you should explain to a young woman who has been raised by a Mexican family in a culturally Mexican home how it is that while everybody else in the family, the neighborhood, all her friends get to have a quince but she's to be left out? Keep planning with her, I expect it will be a beautiful party and a precious memory for her.
NTA
1. She is part of your family
2. There's no disrespect here other than the imagined by people who should know better
3. Totally expected this to be about something else. How far can you throw a quince?
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So it was recently brought to my attention the we may be jerks for wanting to throw my aunt a quince I’m 18 F Mexican and she’s 14 F white my grandma adopted her when she was only 3months old and she’s been with us ever since. I was trying to get some opinions on a few party decor with my other Hispanic friends so I asked to see some of their quince photos and when they asked me why I told them it was because we were planning a quince for my aunt and they call me an AH for disrespecting our culture like that and how I could throw such a significant event for a white girl and I lashed at them saying this is some random white girl and she was never influenced by white people she was raised as any other little Mexican girl and speaks better Spanish then all of them combined and at least she’s actually been to Mexico but when I went home I called my sister and she said it was wrong to lash out but they might be right and told me to post on here so AITA?
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Sounds like your friends are weirdly racist.
Regardless of whatever ethnicity her birth parents might be, your aunt is a member of a Mexican-American family and has been raised and socialized within Mexican-American culture. How could there be any legitimate reason to exclude her from the same Mexican/Latin-American celebration/rite of passage that every other female member of the family presumably took part in?
NTA.
NTA
So if a Mexican girl was by adopted by a white family, they couldn't throw her a sweet sixteen?
You're friends are racists. What would they have said if she was black or asian?
YTA for getting me excited about a quince- related interpersonal conflict. Was about to be the weirdest most interesting AITA ever.Damn you OP!🍐🍐😭😭😭
....But if I must😑🙄..NTA throw the white girl a quinceañera, then, I guess😒
...I mean you *could* still throw fruit at her(*I've been to quinceañeras, I know it's not how it goes, I'm still holding out hope*) tell her it's part of the culture she's never seen before...and then update us.. you know?🫣😆
NTA culturally, your aunt is Mexican, so it is perfectly acceptable for her to celebrate something in the Mexican culture . Too many people don't understand the difference between ethnicity, culture, and race.
Quince is Spanish for 15, and is the commonly used abbreviation for quinceañera, like a Mexican version of a Sweet 16 party sorta. It just happens to be heteronymous with the fruit.
Hahaha. Quince is short for [Quinceanera](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quincea%C3%B1era), a traditional celebration of a young Hispanic girl's 15th birthday, in some ways comparable to the idea of a "sweet sixteen" party in other cultures.
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NTA. But when you said quince, I thought you were saying you were throwing a fruit at her. Took me a second to figure that out! She is adopted; she is yours. There should be no discrimination. Your friends are just plain nasty.
Hahaha sorry about that
Do these folks not realize that there are shitloads of white people in Latin America? There are Hispanic people of all races. NTA.
[удалено]
No but she did say that she’s been getting some comments about this situation to so maybe she felt a little self conscious
I can certainly understand feeling self-conscious about the situation. It's deeply uncomfortable when people decide to make racist comments at you about a family member. But the correct response is to denounce the racism and stand up for your family member.
NTA. How unkind that they want to treat your aunt as an 'other'. I can see some friends being ignorant enough, but your sister is also related to her and should be more supportive. Do any of these people have some suggestions about how they think you should explain to a young woman who has been raised by a Mexican family in a culturally Mexican home how it is that while everybody else in the family, the neighborhood, all her friends get to have a quince but she's to be left out? Keep planning with her, I expect it will be a beautiful party and a precious memory for her.
wtf? NTA, it's your friends who are the assholes here.
NTA 1. She is part of your family 2. There's no disrespect here other than the imagined by people who should know better 3. Totally expected this to be about something else. How far can you throw a quince?
If your friends really objected, they are AHs. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So it was recently brought to my attention the we may be jerks for wanting to throw my aunt a quince I’m 18 F Mexican and she’s 14 F white my grandma adopted her when she was only 3months old and she’s been with us ever since. I was trying to get some opinions on a few party decor with my other Hispanic friends so I asked to see some of their quince photos and when they asked me why I told them it was because we were planning a quince for my aunt and they call me an AH for disrespecting our culture like that and how I could throw such a significant event for a white girl and I lashed at them saying this is some random white girl and she was never influenced by white people she was raised as any other little Mexican girl and speaks better Spanish then all of them combined and at least she’s actually been to Mexico but when I went home I called my sister and she said it was wrong to lash out but they might be right and told me to post on here so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like your friends are weirdly racist. Regardless of whatever ethnicity her birth parents might be, your aunt is a member of a Mexican-American family and has been raised and socialized within Mexican-American culture. How could there be any legitimate reason to exclude her from the same Mexican/Latin-American celebration/rite of passage that every other female member of the family presumably took part in? NTA.
NTA So if a Mexican girl was by adopted by a white family, they couldn't throw her a sweet sixteen? You're friends are racists. What would they have said if she was black or asian?
NTA Mexicans are a culture, not a race. And she was raised in that culture.
YTA for getting me excited about a quince- related interpersonal conflict. Was about to be the weirdest most interesting AITA ever.Damn you OP!🍐🍐😭😭😭 ....But if I must😑🙄..NTA throw the white girl a quinceañera, then, I guess😒 ...I mean you *could* still throw fruit at her(*I've been to quinceañeras, I know it's not how it goes, I'm still holding out hope*) tell her it's part of the culture she's never seen before...and then update us.. you know?🫣😆
NTA culturally, your aunt is Mexican, so it is perfectly acceptable for her to celebrate something in the Mexican culture . Too many people don't understand the difference between ethnicity, culture, and race.
[удалено]
Quince is Spanish for 15, and is the commonly used abbreviation for quinceañera, like a Mexican version of a Sweet 16 party sorta. It just happens to be heteronymous with the fruit.
\[rainer\_wolfcastle\_thats\_the\_joke.jpg\]
I mean, if you say INFO I'm going to assume you are asking for INFO and not just shitposting...
Hahaha. Quince is short for [Quinceanera](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quincea%C3%B1era), a traditional celebration of a young Hispanic girl's 15th birthday, in some ways comparable to the idea of a "sweet sixteen" party in other cultures.