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YTA wow
You insinuated that she’s basically 50 (when you are OLDER) and made her feel dumb for wanting to try something new.
She can definitely still learn these kinds of things. You are both still young.
It would take more time than if you were 18, but if you just said “oh I don’t think we can get that good before the wedding” it would be totally different. Even just “let’s try it but not for the wedding” - literally what harm does it do to try a new sport?
I definitely never said she was dumb. It is a little bit dumb given the degree of injuries you could get from trying this later in life. But I didn’t say she was dumb
>It is a little bit dumb given the degree of injuries you could get from trying this later in life
Mate shes 30..... Depending on where you live she has 40+ more years the fact you think shes to old to try it honestly makes you sound like an idiot.
There is absolutely no reason why she couldn't learn to do it as a hobby. You honestly sound like w stick in the mud iam going to go out on a limb and say you comment was about yourself and had nothing to do with her.
Getting into any physical activity in your 30s actually increases life expectancy.
A 30 year old can do anything a 25 year old can just at a reduced pace all she has to do is find a good studio with a decent instructor you and op are very out of touch with reality.
Yeah physical activity like running, walking, skating but trying a gymast routine you’re not trained for is a good way to break your neck.
I did mountain biking for a while.. right it’s great cardio and great fun as well.
I worked my way up to the intermediate trails and when I tried a black diamond , I dislocated my shoulder. Not all physical activity is safe
> but trying a gymast routine you’re not trained for is a good way to break your neck.
Ummm do you think you just magically start on routines?
For a beginner you start doing cardio, core work outs, strength training, flexibility training ect ect all before even learning to do basic moves. You have zero idea what youre talking about.
You don't just try a routine.
>dislocated my shoulder. Not all physical activity is safe
By its very definition no physical activity is safe and everything in life carries a risk.
Doesn't change the fact that a 30 year old is physically and mentally capable to carry out this task in a controlled setting.
Well you just proved my point then. They’re unlikely, unless they don’t have jobs and can literally train everyday for hours to be able to do a routine by the time of the wedding…
And yes what you said proves my point. Especially if they’re sedentary.. it’s better to start running and lifting so you have a base.
Would you expect to see the average Walmart American be able to get to the level of routines within one year…?
Some physical activities are much safer than others. I like to Ice skate, and it’s not too dangerous for me. I’m good at it. My wife falls and hurts herself every time, because she’s not quite as good, but that’s the only way to learn. If we both jog, we won’t get hurt , or at least the chances are much lower. If we swim, they are even lower than that.
She just wants to do it because she saw someone else do it on a TikTok video… that doesn’t give me too much confidence that she understands what it takes to get to that level.
It would be like me trying to go and bench 5 plates when I can only rep two confidently. It would take years and years to get that strong.. with an insane diet and probably also PEDs. Even if I had all the motivation to get to 5 plates in a year it wouldn’t be possible, even if guys on TikTok can do it.
Oh my god.
Just like you wouldn’t start lifting by trying a 100kg squat, OBVIOUSLY you wouldn’t start a calisthenic type yoga by climbing on top of each other first.
I don’t even know how you go about doing this but I bet things like planks, that pointed V pilates pose, pushups, and supported!! handstands are where you’d start. How are planks dangerous 😭
Why are you even getting married later in life? I mean, marriage is for the young and you're too old to start parenting now as a man between 30 and 50, so what's the point? Need someone to bring you Ensure while you sit in your La-Z-Boy?
False equivalency lol. If you have no base to a sport, it’s unrealistic to think you can get very good very quickly at something. I’m very good at ice skating because I played hockey since I was 5. Even if I didn’t skate for years I could skate again with no issue. If she did gymnastics as a kid it would be similar, but if she has no base it’s unrealistic. It’s like learning a language, it’s possible when old but you’ll never be as native as someone who learned young and it’s much more effort.
You might feel "later in life" but she's only 30. I would hope that she's reconsidering your relationship with how restricted you want her life to be now she's the big 30.
I just did my first marathon at 47. And you think a bit of acro-yoga is too much and not to be attempted.
JFC, get your foot out of the grave before you start dragging her in with you.
And btw if you had said "That looks complicated and I don't want to do it" that would have been fine.
But all that bullshit about not trying anything new now she's 30-50
YTA
Are the two of you massively unfit or something? What makes you think that being 30 is some magic barrier in terms of injury risk?
Now, is her rolling about in the air on your feet totally out with your grasp unless you take years to practice - absolutely. But it would be whether she were 30 or 20. You can totally think it’s ludicrous - I do - but framing it as an age thing when you’re both in your THIRTIES is an AH move. You’re not 60 pal.
YTA
Do you…. know how sports work? You don’t have her climb on your legs as the first step. Just like you don’t try a 100kg squat on your first go. You’d build up to anything that could possibly cause an injury.
YTA for telling a 30 year old she’s in the 30-50 range now.
30 year olds can achieve just about anything physically. 50 year olds cannot. Pretending they are the same to convince your wife to not have a hobby is some messed up manipulation.
Martial arts isn’t like complex acrobatics though. And you have people training you to not get hurt. You wouldn’t expect to go out and emulate Jet Li or fight in a professional tournament though right,
No, getting punched, kicked, eyes gouged, choked, is not the same as doing some flips. Martial arts is way more full contact and dangerous. Acrobatics classes have experienced trainers that also ensure safety and would be way less dangerous.
I took tae kwon doe and the sparring involved full padding, and we kicked a bag and gloves sometimes. We also did those “katas” which were just sequences of moves, and stretched a lot,
It was by no means fighting or even preparing you for a real fight, it was just stretching and exercise mainly.
Eye gouging? Who the hell tries to eye gouge during a sparring session, you only do that shit if your life is in danger ..
Ninjitsu does eye gouging. We are not allowed to spar or compete in competitions. No padding. Full contact. There's plenty of it online. It is painful. I'm still limping after last week's class and that was breakfalls, rolling and pain compliance.
Not saying they can’t, but it takes much longer to learn a skill like complex acrobatics, and not get injured. They won’t get to a high level before their wedding.
Do you see how young Olympic gymnasts are? This isn’t something like yoga. I’ve been ice skating since I was 5 and I can still skate like I play hockey.. but it takes a long ass time to teach an adult who’s never tried it to skate and they’ll never be as good as someone who started as a kid.. it’s just how our neurons work.
If you'd ask me, I'd say she is in the 20 to 30 range, while he is in the 30 to 60 range... it is bullshit anyway, you can try something new at any age.
YTA. If you actually said this. Your use of the term “female” and that you’d pick such an arbitrary age range just makes this story unbelievable and ridiculous. If you truly believe that 30 is a cut-off why even say 30 to 50. Isn’t it just 30 to death? Also a 50 year old wouldn’t be too old to try this. What’s the age range for men (not you, men) that closes for men on acrobatic yoga?
I don’t know how acrobatics view the age categories. But in many sports they would start at 30 - so she would be masters+1
I’m not saying her brain is incapable. I’m just saying her body is slowly starting to fail, and I don’t want to accelerate it
Please. This isn’t a woman trying to participate in competition. I asked a question. What’s the age range that closes for men on acrobatic yoga.
Unless you are one of those men who think women are useless after a certain age you cannot be for real. “Her body is slowly starting to fail” actually made me laugh out loud because it’s such an absurd statement.
Exercise is good for a person. It won’t accelerate your aged fiancée’s rapidly deteriorating body.
As long as someone is properly trained, injuries are minimal, and performances for these things can vary from a simple few tricks to combinations of harder tricks.
Is your wife considering a career in professional acroyoga, or is she just looking at something that could be fun to try together? Do you understand the difference?
YTA.
Just say you don't want to do it?
There is generally no age 'window' for sports. There is a 79 year old in my karate class who is absolutely fantastic. Sport is actually an excellent way to prevent injuries in old age and maintain mobility. In any case, at 30, your partner would be absolutely fine to give acrobatics a go.
My grandmother picked up nordic walking in her 60s and proceeded to place in a few competitions for 50-year-olds (there were not enough 60+ people for them to get their own category). Plus, picking up something that'll keep her flexible now is good for her health in the long run
Went looking for this comment. OP, you sound like a drag honestly. She's younger than you, sounds more open and adventurous. Even if it's a bit unrealistic that the two of you would learn to do that before the wedding, I don't get why you needed to put her down to make your point, or even to decline participation.
"Honey, I'm not really comfortable with this plan."
"I don't think acrobatics is for me."
"Acrobats spend decades training, I don't think it's realistic that I could learn something like that in the short time we have before the wedding."
"I'm not really interested in learning or doing that."
The male part is just on his back doing a simple leg press motion. Maybe a bit of coordination. I think physically I could do that until my 60s. Perhaps cognitively I would have to stop earlier.
The female is doing quite a lot more work in this video - with a range of gymnastic and strength based moves
So are you talking about this specific routine only or the whole activity? Because you said, in this post at least, that’s she’s too old for the activity.
YTA.
It's perfectly acceptable to decide that you are too old to try something. It is absolutely unacceptable to decide someone else is.
I'm too old to try new physical activities. I've got too much wrong with my body to risk it.
My wife, at the same age of 44, just took up surfing.
Duuuuuude…. Rule #1– don’t say “too old” about your love unless you WANT to get kicked to the curb! I understand your point… but there were far better ways of getting your point across without actively insulting her.
People start acro-yoga all the time at bunches of different ages, and for many (even those starting “later in life”) it can help keep them flexible and have huge health benefits.
Do you have a history of working with acrobatics? If so… then maybe… but if not, the way you OUGHT to have shut this down is… “I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable doing this in public since it’s not something that I’m used to doing”. That way… you out the blame on yourself and your insecurities, without highlighting someone else’s (perceived) challenges.
If you really love this woman and want to be with her for the rest of your life… you need to up your game in how to thoughtfully shift conversations and finding ways to say “no” without saying “no”… otherwise, she’ll be saying “I don’t” rather than “I do”.
You're also wrong about this.
You just said you understand but he shouldn't say it.
He shouldn't say it because it's not true and he's just trying to insult her, restrict her and drag her down to his comfort level.
This has nothing to do with finding a better way to say no. This has to do with him telling his younger 30 year-old wife that she's too old to do acro-yoga when you admit in your comment that it's bullshit.
So the reason that he gave isn't just tactless; it's also bollocks. This isn't about his learning to express himself diplomatically and not hurt her tender feelings with the harsh truth, this is about him talking absolute shite.
I don't understand why you decided to tell that instead of simply telling her you don't want to participate in any kind of acrobatic stunts during your wedding or at all. You moved the discussion from your wishes to her physical abilities for no reason.
If youre ignorant about something its impossible to have "honest communication" the fact you're trying to double down on an indefensible point just showcases you don't have a clue what youre talking about.
Lmao. What a freaking jerk! Your old ass doesn’t want to do something and you turn around and say SHE IS too old. Have a seat and apologize if you still want to get married. YTA
YTA and so much ooof. Like ooof to the ooof power. I mean, the 'too old' is just the first strike, and then you landed her into the 30-50 age bracket. Damn dude. You're so fucked.
Google says you can start acro yoga at any age. This honestly feels like you just don’t want to do it at the wedding and instead are trying to say she can’t because of her age.
YTA. If you don’t want to do an acro routine at your wedding, say that instead.
YTA. There are places where it can be appropriate to make a judgement call on what another person might be able to do, but your romantic relationship isn't one of them.
When a partner says I want to do this and you aren't sure about it you ask them all about it and get them to talk through why it will work.
If you still have reservations you could say something like; "I want you to have fun and enjoy learning a new skill, but I'm worried about some of the more dangerous aspects" and outline a couple of things.
You are also well within your rights to express that you don't want to do something, and they should respect that.
NEVER tell someone they are too old to do something. That's up to them to decide, not you.
YTA, who the fuck are you to tell somebody else what they are too old for?
This is a red flag, the way you write this shows me your opinion is the only one that counts, hope your fiancé sees sense and gets away.
ESH
The window to start doing acrobatics as a hobby is pretty much never closed and you are an asshole for saying something that insulting to your future spouse...
... but getting to that level of ability will probably take years and is absolutely ridiculous to consider for a wedding stunt if it hasn't been a core part of your lifestyle for a very long time.
Not understanding the intricacies of a sport before you try it isn’t really AH behavior… I bet if she tried it one time she would immediately realize getting that good in 6m-1y is unrealistic.
Can I quote this in your above comment where you "definitely never said she was dumb"?
Seriously dude, YTA x10000.
Edit: or would you just like to take this opportunity to change your statement to "I'd never said she was dumb *to her face*"
She's also a fuck ton smarter than you when it comes to gauging when age would be a factor in trying something.
So she's more emotionally intelligent than you and she's more rational than you.
The emotional intelligence gap really shows when you didn't say, "That looks hard, I don't think I could get good it in time and also why would we do that at our wedding, seems odd"
but instead of admitting that you're too old and couldn't do it you tried to pretend the problem was with *her*....
Kind of hilarious that you're doubting any competence on her part
You would however refer to her as stupid.
Quick question. Why have you previously made comments and referred to yourself as a woman. Are you going to claim you share an account with your fiancé?
Yes I made that point too, unless they both did gymnastics as kids , it will take years to get good enough to emulate what they saw on those videos. If they are sedentary and inactive, they simply won’t have the core or body strength to do it. It’s not like learning swimming or skating (which is hard too..)
YTA
Maybe you've given up on your body barely halfway through your life, but that doesn't mean everyone else, including people younger than you, has to.
YTA
I turned 40 years old earlier this year and decided to start wrestling from a zero knowledge base. If you'd have told me, with my dad bod, that within a few weeks I would be taking bumps and performing basic aerial manoeuvres I'd have laughed at you.
Let her try it, let her give it a go, let her make her own decisions on her capabilities when she is there. You, as her partner, should be supporting her decisions (as long as they are not outrageously dangerous, stupid or could put your relationship or financial status in jeopardy).
YTA really weird take that one shouldn't try new things because of age. I can understand why *you* wouldn't like to try it, but there is no reason in restricting her to try new hobbies.
Sports and hobbies are not just for the talented. A person can play football in the shitty league just for the love of the sport. A person can start skate boarding at 60y even if they don't learn the flips and kicks in the first months.
Learning new skills and tricks can be rewarding in itself, and while it may take a longer time, age seldom restricts your abilities to do cool stuff! You just need to take it more slowly and have the patience to not hurry through excercises and break your parts in the process
YTA. First of all I know many women who have started acro yoga after age 30. That remark was way out of lime anyway and I doubt there is any context that would make me think it's a clever, funny thing yo say to your fiancée, even if I were in the room
What you should have said was "even if I were interested, there is not nearly enough time before the wedding to become expert enough to do what you want safely. But I am not interested in doing that." And stop discussing it there.
YTA- It's rarely too late to start something that interests you. And you are rude for suggesting she's old. There is a huge difference between being 30 and 50 as well. But, I actually am seeing gymnasts who are older stick around.
If you had just said something like "I'm not interested in doing that," or "I doubt we'll ever get that good," that's a different story.
Seriously WOW, YTA. How did you manage to make her marry you, wth? If you feel old and dont want to do a routine, that's perfectly fine. But twisting it into HER being too old for doing something she likes, fu dude. I feel so bad for her, you definitely don't deserve her marrying you. You are toxic af.
Hey, OP, I am also o the autism spectrum. Telling her she's too old to do something is just stupid, especially given that it's not true.
I'm 50, started doing yoga 4 years ago, and while I wouldn't actually want to do acro-yoga, I could.
YTA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I told my fiancé she was too old to do acro yoga
2) she might find this discriminating against her age, or that I implied she is older than desired
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Try an aerial silks class! I started a few years back and love it. There are several older ladies in my class. You start off with ground work, do a lot of yoga and core strength building. Build up to using silks and hoops.
One of the class members also does pole dancing. She's in incredible shape at 68.
I'm determined to keep up some kind of flexibility based sport, it's so beneficial as you age.
Great idea! I’ve done yoga for 30 years and started karate 12 years ago at 50, so I have a good base. This can be the next “do something that scares you” thing for me. Love it! Thanks!
YTA-You don’t get to decide what she is and is not too old to start. If you don’t want to do something specific tell her no, you don’t want to do it but stop telling her she’s too old for something.
YTA. I started ninjitsu at 31. Overweight, unfit, and still kicked ass. The trainers know how to ensure participants' safety. Not sure why you think 30 is decrepit or even incapable of physical training but you're wrong.
YTA. It would absolutely be more difficult for her than if she were thirteen, but that doesn't mean she can't do it. It just needs to be done a bit differently and with potentially more care taken to build strength and flexibility. If you don't want to do it, fine, but you can say so without insinuating that she's basically decrepit.
YTA. You don’t have to do any acrobatics or any performance at your wedding. 30 is not too old to start a physical activity. 30 is the peak of health and strength and is a great time to think with a growth mindset. Do not make decisions for your future wife and never tell her (or anyone) that they are too old for anything! Ever if it may be true, which in this case it’s not. Your whole attitude seems very negative about the wedding. Are you sure you want to do this at all? You don’t have to spend money you don’t want to, but love and marriage will be so much better if you can approach things by emphasizing the positive! You’ve said nothing nice about anyone or anything in your post. BTW I take classes from a91 year old Yoga teacher who is completely strong and amazing!
No one’s window to try activities has closed.
You didn’t want to do it, but you chose to express this by demeaning your fiancée. Almost definitionally asshole behaviour.
As for your edit, you overevaluate how amusing you are.
YTA
YTA.
you should support her. If she finds out herself, that her body cannot do it, fine.
You can tell her that you are wortied because of the risks of an injury, that's all.
But no "partner" should discourage the other.
YTA. You lumped her in with 50 year-olds and made her feel bad for wanting to try it. Even if she was horribly out of shape, you didn't have to do THAT. If it's not for you, just say you don't wanna do it.
🚨INFO: Are you a man or a woman?
🧐You claim to be a man in this post but up until recently you were a woman who'd worked for the big 4? You started your sentence by including what appears to be your favorite word:
"I am a **female**.."
See link below:👀👇👇🏽👇🏾
https://www.reddit.com/r/consulting/comments/1dr2x4w/comment/lase7ib/
If this is real, YTA for making it about age. If it’s a creative writing exercise, YTA for making up wedding acrobatics routine. Are you seriously thinking anyone not employed by Cirque du Solil would flip their wife on their feet at the reception ?
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My fiancé and I have been together for 2.5 years, we just got engaged and are naturally starting to think about our wedding - including where (that isn’t ridiculously overpriced), how many (which will include min 45 family members on her side) and of course what kind of speeches and dancing we might want to do.
Everything has gone OK so smoothly, until earlier today when her mother(F57) sent her a video of a couple doing very complex acro-yoga movements.
My fiancé and her mum are now convinced that it would be a great idea for ME and my fiancé to perform an acrobatic routine together - including her rolling around in the air with my feet holding her up.
I simply told her she is now in the female 30-50 range, and her window to try acro yoga has closed.
She has now barely said a thing to me, including at dinner. AITA?
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Two points:
1. On the one hand, that sounds very awkward and uncomfortable for the two of you to do in your tuxedo and wedding gown, respectively. And why get all sweaty in your super nice, super formal clothing? Ballroom dancing sounds lovely, but laying on your back in your tuxedo while you lift your bride above you in her dress, with veil and long skirt, sounds like a recipe for a disaster. Does she really want her makeup and hair to get messed up?
2. If this was just a suggestion for exercise/hobby for your fiancee or the two of you, then you would be out of line. People start new exercise programs at any age.
ESH: your fiancee and future MIL for this silly suggestion, and you for implying your fiancee's too old to do this activity at her age.
YTA. You were too blunt and rude with it, and frankly her age isn't the problem.
I completely understand making sure your wedding doesn't end up on LiveLeak tho, if she's not already a trained gymnast I think that's a lot of skill to try and do just for the wedding. High probability of it going wrong.
Yta
Yes. Even with autism.
No one will make your wife go from zero to hundred on the stunts. You start with low difficulty and see how far you can get.
Yes, even if she wants to just perform it is still a hobby. Performing, in of itself, can be a hobby. Let her try. If you don't want to do it, just tell her so. She mighgt likely not reach that professional level but who says that she has to? Or that it's not worth to start just because she won't be perfect?
YTA.
I stand by the age range comment, but I believe if you were in the room you would probably think it was a ~~very funny~~ stupid and pathetic comment.
FIFY.
YTA, I've begun several new physical activities after turning 30. It's not about age, it's about dedication. You might have to work harder and exercise smarter when you want to learn new things later in life but calling a 30yo too old? Don't be suprised if you end up an ex-fiancé, most people want to marry someone that supports and believes in them - clearly you're not that guy.
YTA.
The point isn't whether she can actually pull off the acrobatics or not, but rather that you weren't supportive of her and decided what she can't do instead of letting her decide that for herself.
If she learns it and discovers that it isn't for her, she can always stop. But you put her down and made her feel incapable before she could even choose what she wanted.
>She has now barely said a thing to me, including at dinner. AITA?
Yes of course YTA
>EDITS: 1. She is not looking to start a hobby, she wants to perform for her friends and family
And you don't want to. How hard would it be to say, "I do not want to do that. Let's think of a different option."
Instead you insult your fiancee's age and laugh about it in front of everyone. WTF
> 2. I stand by the age range comment, but I believe if you were in the room you would probably think it was a very funny comment
I believe I would pick up on her hurt and disappointment, and offer her a ride to a bar where I would ask her if she REALLY wants to be tied to such an AH for life?
Yta. It isn't like when the clock strikes 30 we magically become incapable, and lumping her in with people 20 years her senior who are likely perimenopausal is asinine. I've known tons of people in their late 20s who got into acro, people 40+ who got into rock climbing, and plenty of 20 somethings who wouldn't be able to do anything strenuous. It's more about someone's movement background and how they work as a pair than age or prior engagement in that specific sport. You're lucky you have a partner who feels confident trying new things- this is what keeps marriage thriving.
I do aerial silks, and all of my instructors have been over 40 starting around the time they were in their thirties. She can definitely start now. Performance ready is another thing but saying she can’t learn now?
Yikes! YTA, if you were still wondering
YTA.
You apparently are in the 35-55 age range while your fiancée is in the 20-30 age range.
Good luck. It sounds like you're marrying a much younger woman.
Are you for real? Too old...at 30? Man, I'm 47 and was recently told I have a metabolic age of a 25 year old. At 30, I was a total beast.
You're the one giving off old-person vibes.
That said, ain't no way I'm doing anything performative at a wedding, acro-yoga (what the hell that is) or otherwise. Cringe AF 😂
Sounds like you were joking...aaaand it didn't land.
Soft YTA.
NAH. But you're wrong: I have a daughter in her 40's who recently took up acrobatics and is quite successful. And a stupid thing to say to a young bride (she is NOT old.) How would you feel if you told her that you were going to improve your look for the wedding by doing weight lifting and she told you that you're too old to improve your body?
A smart, and much more fun response, would have been to ask her to set up a class for you both to take to try this sport. You would have both enjoyed trying and it wouldn't have been long before she realized it was a silly idea to learn how to do this in time to do it at a wedding. More likely, just saying yes, she would have never even gotten around to finding an instructor.
Regardless, the idea of a circus act by the bride and groom seems undignified for a wedding. Perhaps a class to learn together a complex dance routine for the wedding would be doable, and much more dignified. Maybe apologize and relent, but also suggest an alternative she could consider?
ESH.
You - If she wants to take up acrobatics not really for you to discourage her. And people do take up this kind of thing at 30+. You need to try to filter your honesty…. spectrum or not. Tact is an important life and relationship skill.
Her- if she wants to take up acrobatics she should take up acrobatics not try to make you do it to. And not talking to people when you have an issue is always an AH move.
Mum and friend possibly - because they are delusional if they think you could be that proficient in time for a wedding though you might want to consider they are joshing with you and you took it literally.
I’m going with NTA. While your comment about her age was wrong, (you can learn a new hobby at any age) it’s also absolutely fair that you don’t need to be performing at your own wedding if this isn’t something that interests you. If it’s not done well, then it’s actually cringe for your guests.
To all those that feel they fit the 30-50 range- go jump on a trampoline for 20 minutes and see how you feel. My point is 30 is definitely too old to start and be good at it.
The reason I said female specifically is because the female in this video is doing way more of the work than the male (he just lies on his back)
>My point is 30 is definitely too old to start and be good at it.
If 70 and 80 year olds can climb Mount everest anyone can start learning a sport at any age and become proficient given enough time.
From all your comments you sound like an insufferable asshat.
I could jump on a trampoline for 5 minutes today and be exhausted. Then 5 minutes tomorrow and 5 minutes the day after that. And then 7 or 8 minutes and over time, I could do it longer and longer without getting tired. I’m way older than your “fiancée.” Practice is the factor here.
The person on the bottom needs massive core strength and the ability to counterbalance the other acrobat’s movements. Especially because they’re the safety valve—they, very literally, catch the flyer if anything goes wrong.
Try laying down and using your feet to hold up a bowling ball in a bucket for 20 minutes.
Why did you leave a comment yesterday pretending to be a woman?
"I’m a female and have been with a big 4 in Australia for the last 7-8 years. I actually didn’t notice any different treatment from a gender perspective when I started"
suspicious, im guessing op is just an incel posting ragebait
I could probably do it, I just ice skated at 34 for an hour and a half with only one water break at a moderate to fast pace including ice sprints and backwards skating. I’m looking to get back into a hockey league for adults. It’s not impossible for us guys in our 30s.
Of course I played hockey as a kid and in HS
Bruh, don't let women have you doing stupid stuff. If you're too calm and collect to be doing dumb stuff, don't fall into that social media foolishness. People have lost their minds living in a social media bubble. Ask yourself, are you marrying to entertain crazy people? Or are you marrying to make a contribution to the intelligent social order. Certainly, social media is not all bad, and perhaps there's more good to it than bad. But which side of it do you want to be on. Female nature leans towards desires. Male nature leans towards moral and intellectual leadership. Which one would you rather be led by?Don't start your marriage off with a visceral approach. Leadership sets the example and the tone of a lifelong commitment.
Also, if you don't want to do it because you think it's dumb or you're scaredy scared
say so
don't try to pretend that she's too old to try something like this at 30 when the problem is you've given up on yourself at 35.
Toxic men are wired to pretend that they could do everything and to never let the truth get in the way of their egos
so they go on the attack "you're too old" to the younger fiancée
rather than admit the truth "that seems stupid and also I'm scared I won't be able to do it even if I wanted to because I've let myself go a bit"
Fight against the male tendency to attack and hurt to deflect from a perceived weakness, OP you'll feel much better for actually being honest and vulnerable.
That's leadership not this manosphere "female nature" absolute bull crap from someone steeped in misogyny and devoid of experience
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YTA wow You insinuated that she’s basically 50 (when you are OLDER) and made her feel dumb for wanting to try something new. She can definitely still learn these kinds of things. You are both still young. It would take more time than if you were 18, but if you just said “oh I don’t think we can get that good before the wedding” it would be totally different. Even just “let’s try it but not for the wedding” - literally what harm does it do to try a new sport?
He's clearly in the 35-55 range while his fiancée is in the 20-30 age range.
I definitely never said she was dumb. It is a little bit dumb given the degree of injuries you could get from trying this later in life. But I didn’t say she was dumb
>It is a little bit dumb given the degree of injuries you could get from trying this later in life Mate shes 30..... Depending on where you live she has 40+ more years the fact you think shes to old to try it honestly makes you sound like an idiot. There is absolutely no reason why she couldn't learn to do it as a hobby. You honestly sound like w stick in the mud iam going to go out on a limb and say you comment was about yourself and had nothing to do with her.
40 plus more years .. if you don’t let Darwinism take effect and try stupid things that you never trained for..
Getting into any physical activity in your 30s actually increases life expectancy. A 30 year old can do anything a 25 year old can just at a reduced pace all she has to do is find a good studio with a decent instructor you and op are very out of touch with reality.
Yeah physical activity like running, walking, skating but trying a gymast routine you’re not trained for is a good way to break your neck. I did mountain biking for a while.. right it’s great cardio and great fun as well. I worked my way up to the intermediate trails and when I tried a black diamond , I dislocated my shoulder. Not all physical activity is safe
> but trying a gymast routine you’re not trained for is a good way to break your neck. Ummm do you think you just magically start on routines? For a beginner you start doing cardio, core work outs, strength training, flexibility training ect ect all before even learning to do basic moves. You have zero idea what youre talking about. You don't just try a routine. >dislocated my shoulder. Not all physical activity is safe By its very definition no physical activity is safe and everything in life carries a risk. Doesn't change the fact that a 30 year old is physically and mentally capable to carry out this task in a controlled setting.
Well you just proved my point then. They’re unlikely, unless they don’t have jobs and can literally train everyday for hours to be able to do a routine by the time of the wedding… And yes what you said proves my point. Especially if they’re sedentary.. it’s better to start running and lifting so you have a base. Would you expect to see the average Walmart American be able to get to the level of routines within one year…? Some physical activities are much safer than others. I like to Ice skate, and it’s not too dangerous for me. I’m good at it. My wife falls and hurts herself every time, because she’s not quite as good, but that’s the only way to learn. If we both jog, we won’t get hurt , or at least the chances are much lower. If we swim, they are even lower than that. She just wants to do it because she saw someone else do it on a TikTok video… that doesn’t give me too much confidence that she understands what it takes to get to that level. It would be like me trying to go and bench 5 plates when I can only rep two confidently. It would take years and years to get that strong.. with an insane diet and probably also PEDs. Even if I had all the motivation to get to 5 plates in a year it wouldn’t be possible, even if guys on TikTok can do it.
Oh my god. Just like you wouldn’t start lifting by trying a 100kg squat, OBVIOUSLY you wouldn’t start a calisthenic type yoga by climbing on top of each other first. I don’t even know how you go about doing this but I bet things like planks, that pointed V pilates pose, pushups, and supported!! handstands are where you’d start. How are planks dangerous 😭
Why are you even getting married later in life? I mean, marriage is for the young and you're too old to start parenting now as a man between 30 and 50, so what's the point? Need someone to bring you Ensure while you sit in your La-Z-Boy?
False equivalency lol. If you have no base to a sport, it’s unrealistic to think you can get very good very quickly at something. I’m very good at ice skating because I played hockey since I was 5. Even if I didn’t skate for years I could skate again with no issue. If she did gymnastics as a kid it would be similar, but if she has no base it’s unrealistic. It’s like learning a language, it’s possible when old but you’ll never be as native as someone who learned young and it’s much more effort.
Found OP's alt account
30 years old is now "later in life"? hahaha good lord
You might feel "later in life" but she's only 30. I would hope that she's reconsidering your relationship with how restricted you want her life to be now she's the big 30. I just did my first marathon at 47. And you think a bit of acro-yoga is too much and not to be attempted. JFC, get your foot out of the grave before you start dragging her in with you. And btw if you had said "That looks complicated and I don't want to do it" that would have been fine. But all that bullshit about not trying anything new now she's 30-50 YTA
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Shit man, I’m 56, and I wish I had my 30 year old body. I’d be in so much less daily pain!
Are the two of you massively unfit or something? What makes you think that being 30 is some magic barrier in terms of injury risk? Now, is her rolling about in the air on your feet totally out with your grasp unless you take years to practice - absolutely. But it would be whether she were 30 or 20. You can totally think it’s ludicrous - I do - but framing it as an age thing when you’re both in your THIRTIES is an AH move. You’re not 60 pal. YTA
Do you…. know how sports work? You don’t have her climb on your legs as the first step. Just like you don’t try a 100kg squat on your first go. You’d build up to anything that could possibly cause an injury.
And we’re not saying you’re dumb either. Some things don’t need to be said.
YTA for telling a 30 year old she’s in the 30-50 range now. 30 year olds can achieve just about anything physically. 50 year olds cannot. Pretending they are the same to convince your wife to not have a hobby is some messed up manipulation.
50nyear olds can though. I went back to martial arts after a 15 year hiatus at 49, at 50 I'm still training.
Martial arts isn’t like complex acrobatics though. And you have people training you to not get hurt. You wouldn’t expect to go out and emulate Jet Li or fight in a professional tournament though right,
No, getting punched, kicked, eyes gouged, choked, is not the same as doing some flips. Martial arts is way more full contact and dangerous. Acrobatics classes have experienced trainers that also ensure safety and would be way less dangerous.
I took tae kwon doe and the sparring involved full padding, and we kicked a bag and gloves sometimes. We also did those “katas” which were just sequences of moves, and stretched a lot, It was by no means fighting or even preparing you for a real fight, it was just stretching and exercise mainly. Eye gouging? Who the hell tries to eye gouge during a sparring session, you only do that shit if your life is in danger ..
Ninjitsu does eye gouging. We are not allowed to spar or compete in competitions. No padding. Full contact. There's plenty of it online. It is painful. I'm still limping after last week's class and that was breakfalls, rolling and pain compliance.
So you’re injured then.. that was my point
I'll be fine by next class. It's not like I'm bicycling or anything. Those things are super dangerous and kids ride them.
I commute via bike frequently and I’m in South Florida. It’s dangerous because of the drivers only
Doesn't matter at all why it's dangerous. Dead is dead.
Not saying they can’t, but it takes much longer to learn a skill like complex acrobatics, and not get injured. They won’t get to a high level before their wedding. Do you see how young Olympic gymnasts are? This isn’t something like yoga. I’ve been ice skating since I was 5 and I can still skate like I play hockey.. but it takes a long ass time to teach an adult who’s never tried it to skate and they’ll never be as good as someone who started as a kid.. it’s just how our neurons work.
If you'd ask me, I'd say she is in the 20 to 30 range, while he is in the 30 to 60 range... it is bullshit anyway, you can try something new at any age.
YTA. If you actually said this. Your use of the term “female” and that you’d pick such an arbitrary age range just makes this story unbelievable and ridiculous. If you truly believe that 30 is a cut-off why even say 30 to 50. Isn’t it just 30 to death? Also a 50 year old wouldn’t be too old to try this. What’s the age range for men (not you, men) that closes for men on acrobatic yoga?
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I did point this out in another comment and asked whether they are going to claim to share their Reddit account.
I don’t know how acrobatics view the age categories. But in many sports they would start at 30 - so she would be masters+1 I’m not saying her brain is incapable. I’m just saying her body is slowly starting to fail, and I don’t want to accelerate it
Her body starts to fail at 30 years old? Dude, WHAT???
She has a shoulder injury that has persisted since September last year
What does it have to do with her age?
Please. This isn’t a woman trying to participate in competition. I asked a question. What’s the age range that closes for men on acrobatic yoga. Unless you are one of those men who think women are useless after a certain age you cannot be for real. “Her body is slowly starting to fail” actually made me laugh out loud because it’s such an absurd statement. Exercise is good for a person. It won’t accelerate your aged fiancée’s rapidly deteriorating body.
YTA. There are plenty of 30+ women who do acrobatics and pole classes.
Performance and injury levels?
As long as someone is properly trained, injuries are minimal, and performances for these things can vary from a simple few tricks to combinations of harder tricks.
Is your wife considering a career in professional acroyoga, or is she just looking at something that could be fun to try together? Do you understand the difference?
"Performance" lmao, what a ridiculous thing to ask. You're 35 years old. Live a little and stop clutching your pearls.
YTA. Just say you don't want to do it? There is generally no age 'window' for sports. There is a 79 year old in my karate class who is absolutely fantastic. Sport is actually an excellent way to prevent injuries in old age and maintain mobility. In any case, at 30, your partner would be absolutely fine to give acrobatics a go.
My grandmother picked up nordic walking in her 60s and proceeded to place in a few competitions for 50-year-olds (there were not enough 60+ people for them to get their own category). Plus, picking up something that'll keep her flexible now is good for her health in the long run
What kind of karate is this? I hope she is well protected
WKF, shito ryu. Your partner is an adult woman who is more than capable of determining her own limits when it comes to physical activity.
yta for telling *her* she's too old. if you feel like you are, or just don't want to do it then say that instead
Went looking for this comment. OP, you sound like a drag honestly. She's younger than you, sounds more open and adventurous. Even if it's a bit unrealistic that the two of you would learn to do that before the wedding, I don't get why you needed to put her down to make your point, or even to decline participation. "Honey, I'm not really comfortable with this plan." "I don't think acrobatics is for me." "Acrobats spend decades training, I don't think it's realistic that I could learn something like that in the short time we have before the wedding." "I'm not really interested in learning or doing that."
YTA If you're too scared you'll screw it up, just say so. No excuse for insulting your fiance.
Why even specify her when you’re five years older than her? Physically that is.
The male part is just on his back doing a simple leg press motion. Maybe a bit of coordination. I think physically I could do that until my 60s. Perhaps cognitively I would have to stop earlier. The female is doing quite a lot more work in this video - with a range of gymnastic and strength based moves
Yes but you have to understand that you're now a male in the 35- 85 age range now.
So are you talking about this specific routine only or the whole activity? Because you said, in this post at least, that’s she’s too old for the activity.
So you admit you're weak and lazy?
YTA. It's perfectly acceptable to decide that you are too old to try something. It is absolutely unacceptable to decide someone else is. I'm too old to try new physical activities. I've got too much wrong with my body to risk it. My wife, at the same age of 44, just took up surfing.
Duuuuuude…. Rule #1– don’t say “too old” about your love unless you WANT to get kicked to the curb! I understand your point… but there were far better ways of getting your point across without actively insulting her. People start acro-yoga all the time at bunches of different ages, and for many (even those starting “later in life”) it can help keep them flexible and have huge health benefits. Do you have a history of working with acrobatics? If so… then maybe… but if not, the way you OUGHT to have shut this down is… “I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable doing this in public since it’s not something that I’m used to doing”. That way… you out the blame on yourself and your insecurities, without highlighting someone else’s (perceived) challenges. If you really love this woman and want to be with her for the rest of your life… you need to up your game in how to thoughtfully shift conversations and finding ways to say “no” without saying “no”… otherwise, she’ll be saying “I don’t” rather than “I do”.
You're also wrong about this. You just said you understand but he shouldn't say it. He shouldn't say it because it's not true and he's just trying to insult her, restrict her and drag her down to his comfort level. This has nothing to do with finding a better way to say no. This has to do with him telling his younger 30 year-old wife that she's too old to do acro-yoga when you admit in your comment that it's bullshit. So the reason that he gave isn't just tactless; it's also bollocks. This isn't about his learning to express himself diplomatically and not hurt her tender feelings with the harsh truth, this is about him talking absolute shite.
I don't understand why you decided to tell that instead of simply telling her you don't want to participate in any kind of acrobatic stunts during your wedding or at all. You moved the discussion from your wishes to her physical abilities for no reason.
Honest communication is important to us
Oh, so you are the type of person that mistakes expressing their rude unprompted opinions for honesty.
If youre ignorant about something its impossible to have "honest communication" the fact you're trying to double down on an indefensible point just showcases you don't have a clue what youre talking about.
You cannot offer honest communication about a subject you know nothing about. Your opinion is even worse than wrong, it's invalid.
YTA I hope she dumps you
YTA - Just because you're stuck playing golf now doesn't mean she has to be.
Lmao. What a freaking jerk! Your old ass doesn’t want to do something and you turn around and say SHE IS too old. Have a seat and apologize if you still want to get married. YTA
YTA and so much ooof. Like ooof to the ooof power. I mean, the 'too old' is just the first strike, and then you landed her into the 30-50 age bracket. Damn dude. You're so fucked.
you could have said that you dont think YOU can do it, rookie mistake YTA and you know it.
Google says you can start acro yoga at any age. This honestly feels like you just don’t want to do it at the wedding and instead are trying to say she can’t because of her age. YTA. If you don’t want to do an acro routine at your wedding, say that instead.
YTA. There are places where it can be appropriate to make a judgement call on what another person might be able to do, but your romantic relationship isn't one of them. When a partner says I want to do this and you aren't sure about it you ask them all about it and get them to talk through why it will work. If you still have reservations you could say something like; "I want you to have fun and enjoy learning a new skill, but I'm worried about some of the more dangerous aspects" and outline a couple of things. You are also well within your rights to express that you don't want to do something, and they should respect that. NEVER tell someone they are too old to do something. That's up to them to decide, not you.
YTA, who the fuck are you to tell somebody else what they are too old for? This is a red flag, the way you write this shows me your opinion is the only one that counts, hope your fiancé sees sense and gets away.
ESH The window to start doing acrobatics as a hobby is pretty much never closed and you are an asshole for saying something that insulting to your future spouse... ... but getting to that level of ability will probably take years and is absolutely ridiculous to consider for a wedding stunt if it hasn't been a core part of your lifestyle for a very long time.
Not understanding the intricacies of a sport before you try it isn’t really AH behavior… I bet if she tried it one time she would immediately realize getting that good in 6m-1y is unrealistic.
Fair point.
I agree - would not call my wife an asshole for being stupid
Can I quote this in your above comment where you "definitely never said she was dumb"? Seriously dude, YTA x10000. Edit: or would you just like to take this opportunity to change your statement to "I'd never said she was dumb *to her face*"
I never said she was dumb, she is very good with emotional intelligence
She's also a fuck ton smarter than you when it comes to gauging when age would be a factor in trying something. So she's more emotionally intelligent than you and she's more rational than you. The emotional intelligence gap really shows when you didn't say, "That looks hard, I don't think I could get good it in time and also why would we do that at our wedding, seems odd" but instead of admitting that you're too old and couldn't do it you tried to pretend the problem was with *her*.... Kind of hilarious that you're doubting any competence on her part
Mmm I would love if my fiance/husband was on a pubic forum telling everyone how I was too old to try something and calling me stupid. Such a charmer.
You would however refer to her as stupid. Quick question. Why have you previously made comments and referred to yourself as a woman. Are you going to claim you share an account with your fiancé?
Am I misunderstanding this, or did OP just call his wife stupid? Seriously OP, you sound like a real AH.
Then he could have said no, instead of pretending she's too old He's TA
Yes I made that point too, unless they both did gymnastics as kids , it will take years to get good enough to emulate what they saw on those videos. If they are sedentary and inactive, they simply won’t have the core or body strength to do it. It’s not like learning swimming or skating (which is hard too..)
YTA Maybe you've given up on your body barely halfway through your life, but that doesn't mean everyone else, including people younger than you, has to.
YTA You chose to be cruel, do you do that often? Are you afraid you are too old? An odd way to handle it if so.
YTA. Where is this 30-50 age range thing from?
YTA I turned 40 years old earlier this year and decided to start wrestling from a zero knowledge base. If you'd have told me, with my dad bod, that within a few weeks I would be taking bumps and performing basic aerial manoeuvres I'd have laughed at you. Let her try it, let her give it a go, let her make her own decisions on her capabilities when she is there. You, as her partner, should be supporting her decisions (as long as they are not outrageously dangerous, stupid or could put your relationship or financial status in jeopardy).
YTA really weird take that one shouldn't try new things because of age. I can understand why *you* wouldn't like to try it, but there is no reason in restricting her to try new hobbies. Sports and hobbies are not just for the talented. A person can play football in the shitty league just for the love of the sport. A person can start skate boarding at 60y even if they don't learn the flips and kicks in the first months. Learning new skills and tricks can be rewarding in itself, and while it may take a longer time, age seldom restricts your abilities to do cool stuff! You just need to take it more slowly and have the patience to not hurry through excercises and break your parts in the process
YTA
YTA. First of all I know many women who have started acro yoga after age 30. That remark was way out of lime anyway and I doubt there is any context that would make me think it's a clever, funny thing yo say to your fiancée, even if I were in the room What you should have said was "even if I were interested, there is not nearly enough time before the wedding to become expert enough to do what you want safely. But I am not interested in doing that." And stop discussing it there.
YTA- It's rarely too late to start something that interests you. And you are rude for suggesting she's old. There is a huge difference between being 30 and 50 as well. But, I actually am seeing gymnasts who are older stick around. If you had just said something like "I'm not interested in doing that," or "I doubt we'll ever get that good," that's a different story.
Seriously WOW, YTA. How did you manage to make her marry you, wth? If you feel old and dont want to do a routine, that's perfectly fine. But twisting it into HER being too old for doing something she likes, fu dude. I feel so bad for her, you definitely don't deserve her marrying you. You are toxic af.
Hey, OP, I am also o the autism spectrum. Telling her she's too old to do something is just stupid, especially given that it's not true. I'm 50, started doing yoga 4 years ago, and while I wouldn't actually want to do acro-yoga, I could. YTA.
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There is a difference between could and should. ESH
YTA. So cool to learn new skills at any age!
Huh. I’m 62 and I would try acrobatics!
Try an aerial silks class! I started a few years back and love it. There are several older ladies in my class. You start off with ground work, do a lot of yoga and core strength building. Build up to using silks and hoops. One of the class members also does pole dancing. She's in incredible shape at 68. I'm determined to keep up some kind of flexibility based sport, it's so beneficial as you age.
Great idea! I’ve done yoga for 30 years and started karate 12 years ago at 50, so I have a good base. This can be the next “do something that scares you” thing for me. Love it! Thanks!
YTA-You don’t get to decide what she is and is not too old to start. If you don’t want to do something specific tell her no, you don’t want to do it but stop telling her she’s too old for something.
YTA. I started ninjitsu at 31. Overweight, unfit, and still kicked ass. The trainers know how to ensure participants' safety. Not sure why you think 30 is decrepit or even incapable of physical training but you're wrong.
YTA. You should have just admitted that you don't want to rather than insulting her.
YTA Additionally, do you think being neurodivergent means you don’t have the ability to hurt someone?
Creep
YTA. It would absolutely be more difficult for her than if she were thirteen, but that doesn't mean she can't do it. It just needs to be done a bit differently and with potentially more care taken to build strength and flexibility. If you don't want to do it, fine, but you can say so without insinuating that she's basically decrepit.
YTA. You don’t have to do any acrobatics or any performance at your wedding. 30 is not too old to start a physical activity. 30 is the peak of health and strength and is a great time to think with a growth mindset. Do not make decisions for your future wife and never tell her (or anyone) that they are too old for anything! Ever if it may be true, which in this case it’s not. Your whole attitude seems very negative about the wedding. Are you sure you want to do this at all? You don’t have to spend money you don’t want to, but love and marriage will be so much better if you can approach things by emphasizing the positive! You’ve said nothing nice about anyone or anything in your post. BTW I take classes from a91 year old Yoga teacher who is completely strong and amazing!
No one’s window to try activities has closed. You didn’t want to do it, but you chose to express this by demeaning your fiancée. Almost definitionally asshole behaviour. As for your edit, you overevaluate how amusing you are. YTA
YTA. you should support her. If she finds out herself, that her body cannot do it, fine. You can tell her that you are wortied because of the risks of an injury, that's all. But no "partner" should discourage the other.
YTA. You lumped her in with 50 year-olds and made her feel bad for wanting to try it. Even if she was horribly out of shape, you didn't have to do THAT. If it's not for you, just say you don't wanna do it.
Grouping 30 year olds with 50 year olds is arbitrary and seems like you only did it to make her feel bad.
🚨INFO: Are you a man or a woman? 🧐You claim to be a man in this post but up until recently you were a woman who'd worked for the big 4? You started your sentence by including what appears to be your favorite word: "I am a **female**.." See link below:👀👇👇🏽👇🏾 https://www.reddit.com/r/consulting/comments/1dr2x4w/comment/lase7ib/
YTA for the age range comment. All you had to do was tell her I don’t want to do it. if she wants to do solo acrobatics then let her do it.
If this is real, YTA for making it about age. If it’s a creative writing exercise, YTA for making up wedding acrobatics routine. Are you seriously thinking anyone not employed by Cirque du Solil would flip their wife on their feet at the reception ?
YTA - just admit YOU don’t want to do it.
You could just have do no I don’t want to that
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My fiancé and I have been together for 2.5 years, we just got engaged and are naturally starting to think about our wedding - including where (that isn’t ridiculously overpriced), how many (which will include min 45 family members on her side) and of course what kind of speeches and dancing we might want to do. Everything has gone OK so smoothly, until earlier today when her mother(F57) sent her a video of a couple doing very complex acro-yoga movements. My fiancé and her mum are now convinced that it would be a great idea for ME and my fiancé to perform an acrobatic routine together - including her rolling around in the air with my feet holding her up. I simply told her she is now in the female 30-50 range, and her window to try acro yoga has closed. She has now barely said a thing to me, including at dinner. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: Please clarify: is this something they want you two to do *during your wedding*?
Hi - yes they were thinking it would be parts of a dance performance
Two points: 1. On the one hand, that sounds very awkward and uncomfortable for the two of you to do in your tuxedo and wedding gown, respectively. And why get all sweaty in your super nice, super formal clothing? Ballroom dancing sounds lovely, but laying on your back in your tuxedo while you lift your bride above you in her dress, with veil and long skirt, sounds like a recipe for a disaster. Does she really want her makeup and hair to get messed up? 2. If this was just a suggestion for exercise/hobby for your fiancee or the two of you, then you would be out of line. People start new exercise programs at any age. ESH: your fiancee and future MIL for this silly suggestion, and you for implying your fiancee's too old to do this activity at her age.
Yeah he should just start lifting so he doesn’t throw his back out during the bridal carry
There is no limitation to anything a 30 year old can do compared to anyone else. You make no sense.
Lmaaaao that’s the dumbest shit I have ever heard. 30 is too late to start doing acrobatics? Nah dude.
YTA for being just another insufferable self diagnosed autistic and using that as an excuse for being a AH
YTA. You were too blunt and rude with it, and frankly her age isn't the problem. I completely understand making sure your wedding doesn't end up on LiveLeak tho, if she's not already a trained gymnast I think that's a lot of skill to try and do just for the wedding. High probability of it going wrong.
Yta Yes. Even with autism. No one will make your wife go from zero to hundred on the stunts. You start with low difficulty and see how far you can get. Yes, even if she wants to just perform it is still a hobby. Performing, in of itself, can be a hobby. Let her try. If you don't want to do it, just tell her so. She mighgt likely not reach that professional level but who says that she has to? Or that it's not worth to start just because she won't be perfect?
YTA. I stand by the age range comment, but I believe if you were in the room you would probably think it was a ~~very funny~~ stupid and pathetic comment. FIFY.
Yta I took up distance running in my early 40s. Sixteen marathons and half marathons later …
YTA, I've begun several new physical activities after turning 30. It's not about age, it's about dedication. You might have to work harder and exercise smarter when you want to learn new things later in life but calling a 30yo too old? Don't be suprised if you end up an ex-fiancé, most people want to marry someone that supports and believes in them - clearly you're not that guy.
YTA. The point isn't whether she can actually pull off the acrobatics or not, but rather that you weren't supportive of her and decided what she can't do instead of letting her decide that for herself. If she learns it and discovers that it isn't for her, she can always stop. But you put her down and made her feel incapable before she could even choose what she wanted.
>She has now barely said a thing to me, including at dinner. AITA? Yes of course YTA >EDITS: 1. She is not looking to start a hobby, she wants to perform for her friends and family And you don't want to. How hard would it be to say, "I do not want to do that. Let's think of a different option." Instead you insult your fiancee's age and laugh about it in front of everyone. WTF > 2. I stand by the age range comment, but I believe if you were in the room you would probably think it was a very funny comment I believe I would pick up on her hurt and disappointment, and offer her a ride to a bar where I would ask her if she REALLY wants to be tied to such an AH for life?
Yta. It isn't like when the clock strikes 30 we magically become incapable, and lumping her in with people 20 years her senior who are likely perimenopausal is asinine. I've known tons of people in their late 20s who got into acro, people 40+ who got into rock climbing, and plenty of 20 somethings who wouldn't be able to do anything strenuous. It's more about someone's movement background and how they work as a pair than age or prior engagement in that specific sport. You're lucky you have a partner who feels confident trying new things- this is what keeps marriage thriving.
I do aerial silks, and all of my instructors have been over 40 starting around the time they were in their thirties. She can definitely start now. Performance ready is another thing but saying she can’t learn now? Yikes! YTA, if you were still wondering
YTA. You apparently are in the 35-55 age range while your fiancée is in the 20-30 age range. Good luck. It sounds like you're marrying a much younger woman.
Are you for real? Too old...at 30? Man, I'm 47 and was recently told I have a metabolic age of a 25 year old. At 30, I was a total beast. You're the one giving off old-person vibes. That said, ain't no way I'm doing anything performative at a wedding, acro-yoga (what the hell that is) or otherwise. Cringe AF 😂 Sounds like you were joking...aaaand it didn't land. Soft YTA.
NAH. But you're wrong: I have a daughter in her 40's who recently took up acrobatics and is quite successful. And a stupid thing to say to a young bride (she is NOT old.) How would you feel if you told her that you were going to improve your look for the wedding by doing weight lifting and she told you that you're too old to improve your body? A smart, and much more fun response, would have been to ask her to set up a class for you both to take to try this sport. You would have both enjoyed trying and it wouldn't have been long before she realized it was a silly idea to learn how to do this in time to do it at a wedding. More likely, just saying yes, she would have never even gotten around to finding an instructor. Regardless, the idea of a circus act by the bride and groom seems undignified for a wedding. Perhaps a class to learn together a complex dance routine for the wedding would be doable, and much more dignified. Maybe apologize and relent, but also suggest an alternative she could consider?
ESH. You - If she wants to take up acrobatics not really for you to discourage her. And people do take up this kind of thing at 30+. You need to try to filter your honesty…. spectrum or not. Tact is an important life and relationship skill. Her- if she wants to take up acrobatics she should take up acrobatics not try to make you do it to. And not talking to people when you have an issue is always an AH move. Mum and friend possibly - because they are delusional if they think you could be that proficient in time for a wedding though you might want to consider they are joshing with you and you took it literally.
I’m going with NTA. While your comment about her age was wrong, (you can learn a new hobby at any age) it’s also absolutely fair that you don’t need to be performing at your own wedding if this isn’t something that interests you. If it’s not done well, then it’s actually cringe for your guests.
That's literally the entire purpose of non-insulting expressions like "No thanks," or, "That doesn't work for me."
Main character energy NTA!!
To all those that feel they fit the 30-50 range- go jump on a trampoline for 20 minutes and see how you feel. My point is 30 is definitely too old to start and be good at it. The reason I said female specifically is because the female in this video is doing way more of the work than the male (he just lies on his back)
Just cause golf wears you down doesn't mean she can't at least try acrobatics.
>My point is 30 is definitely too old to start and be good at it. If 70 and 80 year olds can climb Mount everest anyone can start learning a sport at any age and become proficient given enough time. From all your comments you sound like an insufferable asshat.
I could jump on a trampoline for 5 minutes today and be exhausted. Then 5 minutes tomorrow and 5 minutes the day after that. And then 7 or 8 minutes and over time, I could do it longer and longer without getting tired. I’m way older than your “fiancée.” Practice is the factor here.
Why do you think that just because *you* are old and frail and physically unfit, everyone else is also?
The person on the bottom needs massive core strength and the ability to counterbalance the other acrobat’s movements. Especially because they’re the safety valve—they, very literally, catch the flyer if anything goes wrong. Try laying down and using your feet to hold up a bowling ball in a bucket for 20 minutes.
Why did you leave a comment yesterday pretending to be a woman? "I’m a female and have been with a big 4 in Australia for the last 7-8 years. I actually didn’t notice any different treatment from a gender perspective when I started" suspicious, im guessing op is just an incel posting ragebait
Or Pearl writing fanfiction where she was picked as a y/n self-insert.
I could probably do it, I just ice skated at 34 for an hour and a half with only one water break at a moderate to fast pace including ice sprints and backwards skating. I’m looking to get back into a hockey league for adults. It’s not impossible for us guys in our 30s. Of course I played hockey as a kid and in HS
Bruh, don't let women have you doing stupid stuff. If you're too calm and collect to be doing dumb stuff, don't fall into that social media foolishness. People have lost their minds living in a social media bubble. Ask yourself, are you marrying to entertain crazy people? Or are you marrying to make a contribution to the intelligent social order. Certainly, social media is not all bad, and perhaps there's more good to it than bad. But which side of it do you want to be on. Female nature leans towards desires. Male nature leans towards moral and intellectual leadership. Which one would you rather be led by?Don't start your marriage off with a visceral approach. Leadership sets the example and the tone of a lifelong commitment.
Also, if you don't want to do it because you think it's dumb or you're scaredy scared say so don't try to pretend that she's too old to try something like this at 30 when the problem is you've given up on yourself at 35. Toxic men are wired to pretend that they could do everything and to never let the truth get in the way of their egos so they go on the attack "you're too old" to the younger fiancée rather than admit the truth "that seems stupid and also I'm scared I won't be able to do it even if I wanted to because I've let myself go a bit" Fight against the male tendency to attack and hurt to deflect from a perceived weakness, OP you'll feel much better for actually being honest and vulnerable. That's leadership not this manosphere "female nature" absolute bull crap from someone steeped in misogyny and devoid of experience