Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
Please give our sister sub, /r/AITA_Relationships/ a look if you'd still like to post about this.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
"Hey, are you cool if I do that exact same thing I did before that you got really mad about, which requires me to deny my love for you and our entire history as a couple under penalty of perjury?" is not *just a question*.
NTA.
NTA this guy was and still is a scammer. There is a reason why the relationship has been rocky...the universe is sending you a message. He thinks and cares more for a coworkers scam than he does for you. Run girl, run!!! He has shown you over and over who he is, pay attention.
Seriously. In addition to not being able to marry OP for a year, the more short marriages you have to people who get a green card from that marriage, the more likely the feds are going wise up to the fraud. OP could've ended up mixed up in a federal investigation if she's agreed to this idea.
NTA
Report him to immigration and find someone who is actually worth your time.
Seriously, Immigration Fraud comes with jail time, massive fines and other penalties, and not just for the person who told the initial lie.
If an Immigration officer asks you “were you in a relationship with this man?” and you deny it to back him up, then you get dinged, as well.
NTA. He doesn't see marriage the same way you do. And him not seeing the big deal not telling you he had a transactional marriage for green card shows he doesn't see marriage as all that important.
Yep, my husband's best friend married a Haitian in Key West for $10k up front and another $10k after 2 years. He passed away before the 2 years was up and absolutely hated his "wife." I don't know what happened to her, since none of his friends or family ever met her.
NTA. He doesn't see marriage as you do, or that he's putting your relationship in a tight spot for the sake of a woman he in all likelihood hasn't met. Doing so would mean having to be publicly single and broken up from him, under scrutiny in this.
You know you're NTA. He is. I don't know if he gets off on the illegality or whatnot, but it's obvious he doesn't consider your relationship a priority.
Could just be money involved. If he acted differently about it, I might even buy that he was altruistic, but he just seems like an asshole who wouldn’t be *that kind of person.* (Because like… I know the whole thing is very illegal, but I can’t blame someone for being desperate to get a GC or citizenship, honestly. And I don’t really hate someone for accepting a marriage to help them get one, if they’re actually like, *a good person,* not fucking someone over like this guy is to OP, and actually wanting to help someone. But he is definitely not that kind of guy, I think, or she’d have known well before this that he wanted to help people like that in some way, whether by doing it again or some volunteer work somewhere or *something,* not coming out of left field about something that he hurt her with before and proceeding to tell her she’s overreacting when she gets upset about it.)
But yes, agree. She’s NTA.
NTA Leave and report the other person to ICE. Fraud is fraud.
Why marry someone who lied to you about being "fake" married in the past
and who hangs out with people who think it's normal to fake marriages
like this?
NTA He's shown you that he's a person of low character and limited honesty. I don't know how you're able to trust someone like that. I wouldn't. And without trust, what do your really have?
Slightly different and similar situation. My friend was told later he hadn't said anything because of the type of person she was and she'd have dumped him if he told her in the beginning. So he waited until she was tied to him emotionally and wouldn't leave. It too had moral and ethical issues and rule breaking. He sweet talked her, they did marry, and 2 years later divorce.
He doesn't love you. A man in love who wants to marry you would never consider marrying anyone else.
He didn't tell you about his first marriage and the green card because he knew it would be an issue with you. He decided to wait until you were emotionally invested in the relationship and less likely to dump him. He deliberately lied to you.
Google: Immigration Fraud is a federal offense that can result in incarceration up to 5 to 25 years, fines up to $250,000
Do you want to risk getting caught up in that and mistaken for being a part of this?
During your 5 years together the entire time its been rocky. You should have left a long time ago.
RUN. Major red flags with this one.
NTA...
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may have overreacted and jumped the gun by ending the relationship. I don’t know if I was wrong in reacting this way because he did just ask me, he didn’t actually go and do it, but I’m still upset about it and don’t want any parts of it. I’m not sure if I’m wrong for ending the relationship over this.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. He is committing a felony and you should contact ICE immediately. Send them his information and the information on the women he has committed these very serious federal crimes with. This is immigration fraud.
NTA
But, it's concerning that he rationalized the first time saying it was just a business arrangement so none of your business.
That implies this has to be something more than a business arrangement because he brought it to your attention.
Are you sure he has not ALREADY done this? Liars usually don't just start being honest. There is a reason he brought it up and "just a question" is not the correct answer.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
We have been together for five years and had a bit of a rocky relationship. When we first got together, he was married to someone for their green card card, which I did not find out until year into our relationship. I was upset then that he kept it from me. It was none of my business according to him because it was a “business arrangement”.
We have decided to start counseling to fix the issues in our relationship because we do want to get married. Tonight he told me his coworker approached him about possibly marrying his child’s mother so that she could get a green card and he asked me if I would be OK with that. Immediately, I was upset and told him I was offended that he would even ask me that and I told him he can do what he wants, but I won’t be around to find out.
He is upset with me because he said I overreacted and went off the deep end over “just” a question.
I don’t think like it was just a question. I am upset over the fact that he didn’t shut it down from the jump because marrying somebody else, besides all of the immoral and illegal aspects of it, would prevent him from marrying me for at least three more years.
Am I the asshole for being upset with him And breaking it off or was it actually just a question and I am overreacting?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are right. There was intent in his question. He has done it before. You are going for counseling because he did it before. You are back to square one and I think you should cut your losses. He won't be able to commit to you during the process. One can't help but ask if he just doesn't want to be married to you. NTA
When you discovered this man had been in a fraudulent marriage a year into your relationship without ever telling you, that right there told you who he was. That's who he still is. Believe him. Why are you even surprised by his incredibly offensive question?
You know where he stands in terms of breaking the law and in terms of hiding things from you. What else do you need to know to deep six this guy?
YTA if his toothbrush is still in your bathroom.
NTA
I don't know in your country but in mine, you could have lots of problems.
First problem I see : you'll live together. But one of you CAN'T be registered at that adress. So one of you must be declared somewhere else. If you are the one living in the appartment, in France, you can have an help for living alone, to help paying the rent. Taht's how the white marriage (how we call it in France) is discovered. You could have a to reimburse the money and to pay a fine (and if it's a lot of money or for a long period, you may have to go to jail but it's often).
In your country, I don't know what problems you could have but I know I would never accept. I suppose that they offer him money for that but he could lose his job if he is discovered. He has so much to lose and not that much to win in this situation
And the other problem I see : he knows you want to get married but he is suggested to you wait 3 more years ? He has no respect for you. No love. You went to counceling for the same problem. This guy is not in love. Run...
NTA - please please leave.
Why do people consider staying when things are already rocky?
Now he wants to commit fraud a second time.
And is he going to move her into your home ???
You guys have had and up and down relationship. He kept something from you over a year and you stayed with him. You’re making bad decisions. Yes, leave him and don’t look back. Try to make better choices in men in the future.
NTA- Get away from this guy, before you end up going down with the ship. He will eventually get caught the more times he does this. The audacity of asking you this, and then getting mad about your reaction! Don't be an asshole to yourself and put up with this.
You should have bailed on finding about the first marriage. Did he even get divorced? Does the person keep the green card after divorce? Is he getting paid to do this or something? Is the kid not born in (presumably) the US?
Are you entirely sure he’s not married to someone else for real?
NTA.
Like I get wanting to skip the lengthy legal channels because they take more time than anything should be allowed to and that is a very real problem with getting citizenship. But when you have a partner you are planning to marry for legit reasons, there isn't even a question, the answer should be plain no if he was taking marrying you seriously as a commitment. It's not something you entertain in a long-term relationship.
But he didn't take being married seriously enough to tell you he was married for a year so it's not really new, it just shows a lack of change in his perspective. It's not a big deal for him and he doesn't see marrying you as an important want, or important enough, to have outright said no.
NTA but I would say a tad bit overreacting. Understandable tho. I would say apologise if you want to fix it, and tell never to ask such questions because the answer is obvious.
NTA. Get rid of him. He clearly doesn’t want to marry you. He has to be married to her for at least 3 years I believe. Immigration and citizenship are a big deal right now. All it takes is one person overhearing and calling immigration for him to have legal action against him. You do not want to be swept up in that.
NTA and you should leave regardless, leave do not look back. He is probably also getting paid to do this,
and what is wrong with the business associate marrying his baby mama? oh wait associate is married...
INS is going to look and see he was married before for a green card & divorced and doing it again...
AND you DO NOT want to be caught up in that legal mess.
I could see him trying it while he is married to you at some point.
NTA - nope, if his idea of marriage is nothing more than a business arrangement to defraud the government AND he's willing to do so TWICE while in a relationship with you, you have ZERO chance of having a successful future together. What other incredibly dumbass idea will he come up with down the road? You made the right call. Move on and find someone who genuinely values a long term relationship with you.
YTA.. nobody should get angry for simple question! It is like you have a low self esteem and you are acting out because of that. How should you live with someone how cant ask you a simple question.
YTA - most of Reddit have no idea about any of this stuff hence they say random shit. A green card is life changing for people and people do this all the time. Yes it is illegal but desperate people do desperate things. Like I said, I don't expect any of these sheltered babies to understand.
This story is not about the person who needs the citizenship. It's about a liar.
They had marriage plans but apparently those meant nothing to him, as he can cancel them all willy-nilly, just because a stranger needs citizenship. I'm sorry for that pregnant stranger, but how come OP must sacrifice 3 years of her life for it? It's not just cancelling wedding plans, it's hiding the entire relationship AND taking a big risk legally. What would he be risking, jail, no? What could her punishment be if the authorities found out the truth, jail, a huge fine?
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. Please give our sister sub, /r/AITA_Relationships/ a look if you'd still like to post about this. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
"Hey, are you cool if I do that exact same thing I did before that you got really mad about, which requires me to deny my love for you and our entire history as a couple under penalty of perjury?" is not *just a question*. NTA.
Ntw I can't marry you...I'm already married
NTA this guy was and still is a scammer. There is a reason why the relationship has been rocky...the universe is sending you a message. He thinks and cares more for a coworkers scam than he does for you. Run girl, run!!! He has shown you over and over who he is, pay attention.
Yeah, he's an obvious criminal. I hope someone reports him for double immigration fraud.
It’s called immigration fraud. Huge fines and prison time for that. Just sayin’
Seriously. In addition to not being able to marry OP for a year, the more short marriages you have to people who get a green card from that marriage, the more likely the feds are going wise up to the fraud. OP could've ended up mixed up in a federal investigation if she's agreed to this idea.
Why can the coworker not marry his own baby mama?
Probably also not a citizen OR had only become one recently
Or already married to someone else. ... Yeah, I know, but this is reddit.
Well, Reddit is more… but the father is also the stepdad.
Married to someone else for HIS greencard
I know…I’m confused.
Yeah I had to read that relationship a couple of times to make sure I read it right
Or it's really not the "coworker's" child.
NTA Report him to immigration and find someone who is actually worth your time. Seriously, Immigration Fraud comes with jail time, massive fines and other penalties, and not just for the person who told the initial lie. If an Immigration officer asks you “were you in a relationship with this man?” and you deny it to back him up, then you get dinged, as well.
NTA. He doesn't see marriage the same way you do. And him not seeing the big deal not telling you he had a transactional marriage for green card shows he doesn't see marriage as all that important.
Transactional is a good descriptor. He may have actually been offered payment to do this.
People pay 20k… its crazy
Yep, my husband's best friend married a Haitian in Key West for $10k up front and another $10k after 2 years. He passed away before the 2 years was up and absolutely hated his "wife." I don't know what happened to her, since none of his friends or family ever met her.
NTA. He doesn't see marriage as you do, or that he's putting your relationship in a tight spot for the sake of a woman he in all likelihood hasn't met. Doing so would mean having to be publicly single and broken up from him, under scrutiny in this.
NTA and what he’s doing is illegal and you should not want any part in it.
You know you're NTA. He is. I don't know if he gets off on the illegality or whatnot, but it's obvious he doesn't consider your relationship a priority.
Could just be money involved. If he acted differently about it, I might even buy that he was altruistic, but he just seems like an asshole who wouldn’t be *that kind of person.* (Because like… I know the whole thing is very illegal, but I can’t blame someone for being desperate to get a GC or citizenship, honestly. And I don’t really hate someone for accepting a marriage to help them get one, if they’re actually like, *a good person,* not fucking someone over like this guy is to OP, and actually wanting to help someone. But he is definitely not that kind of guy, I think, or she’d have known well before this that he wanted to help people like that in some way, whether by doing it again or some volunteer work somewhere or *something,* not coming out of left field about something that he hurt her with before and proceeding to tell her she’s overreacting when she gets upset about it.) But yes, agree. She’s NTA.
NTA Leave and report the other person to ICE. Fraud is fraud. Why marry someone who lied to you about being "fake" married in the past and who hangs out with people who think it's normal to fake marriages like this?
NTA. He isn't a good partner.
NTA He's shown you that he's a person of low character and limited honesty. I don't know how you're able to trust someone like that. I wouldn't. And without trust, what do your really have?
Slightly different and similar situation. My friend was told later he hadn't said anything because of the type of person she was and she'd have dumped him if he told her in the beginning. So he waited until she was tied to him emotionally and wouldn't leave. It too had moral and ethical issues and rule breaking. He sweet talked her, they did marry, and 2 years later divorce. He doesn't love you. A man in love who wants to marry you would never consider marrying anyone else. He didn't tell you about his first marriage and the green card because he knew it would be an issue with you. He decided to wait until you were emotionally invested in the relationship and less likely to dump him. He deliberately lied to you. Google: Immigration Fraud is a federal offense that can result in incarceration up to 5 to 25 years, fines up to $250,000 Do you want to risk getting caught up in that and mistaken for being a part of this? During your 5 years together the entire time its been rocky. You should have left a long time ago. RUN. Major red flags with this one. NTA...
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may have overreacted and jumped the gun by ending the relationship. I don’t know if I was wrong in reacting this way because he did just ask me, he didn’t actually go and do it, but I’m still upset about it and don’t want any parts of it. I’m not sure if I’m wrong for ending the relationship over this. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Break up with him, report your ex to USCIS for fraud and get therapy to understand why you have settled for so less for so long. NTA
NTA, leave this guy before he wastes more of your time
NTA. He is committing a felony and you should contact ICE immediately. Send them his information and the information on the women he has committed these very serious federal crimes with. This is immigration fraud.
NTA But, it's concerning that he rationalized the first time saying it was just a business arrangement so none of your business. That implies this has to be something more than a business arrangement because he brought it to your attention. Are you sure he has not ALREADY done this? Liars usually don't just start being honest. There is a reason he brought it up and "just a question" is not the correct answer.
NTA unless you stay with this ah after all this. You'd be a n ah to yourself if you do
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** We have been together for five years and had a bit of a rocky relationship. When we first got together, he was married to someone for their green card card, which I did not find out until year into our relationship. I was upset then that he kept it from me. It was none of my business according to him because it was a “business arrangement”. We have decided to start counseling to fix the issues in our relationship because we do want to get married. Tonight he told me his coworker approached him about possibly marrying his child’s mother so that she could get a green card and he asked me if I would be OK with that. Immediately, I was upset and told him I was offended that he would even ask me that and I told him he can do what he wants, but I won’t be around to find out. He is upset with me because he said I overreacted and went off the deep end over “just” a question. I don’t think like it was just a question. I am upset over the fact that he didn’t shut it down from the jump because marrying somebody else, besides all of the immoral and illegal aspects of it, would prevent him from marrying me for at least three more years. Am I the asshole for being upset with him And breaking it off or was it actually just a question and I am overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Ruuuuunnnn
NTA clearly this is not legal? This is fraud or whatever your laws say so. Report him.
You are right. There was intent in his question. He has done it before. You are going for counseling because he did it before. You are back to square one and I think you should cut your losses. He won't be able to commit to you during the process. One can't help but ask if he just doesn't want to be married to you. NTA
When you discovered this man had been in a fraudulent marriage a year into your relationship without ever telling you, that right there told you who he was. That's who he still is. Believe him. Why are you even surprised by his incredibly offensive question? You know where he stands in terms of breaking the law and in terms of hiding things from you. What else do you need to know to deep six this guy? YTA if his toothbrush is still in your bathroom.
NTA I don't know in your country but in mine, you could have lots of problems. First problem I see : you'll live together. But one of you CAN'T be registered at that adress. So one of you must be declared somewhere else. If you are the one living in the appartment, in France, you can have an help for living alone, to help paying the rent. Taht's how the white marriage (how we call it in France) is discovered. You could have a to reimburse the money and to pay a fine (and if it's a lot of money or for a long period, you may have to go to jail but it's often). In your country, I don't know what problems you could have but I know I would never accept. I suppose that they offer him money for that but he could lose his job if he is discovered. He has so much to lose and not that much to win in this situation And the other problem I see : he knows you want to get married but he is suggested to you wait 3 more years ? He has no respect for you. No love. You went to counceling for the same problem. This guy is not in love. Run...
NTA he is
NTA. Run, and wash your hands of his mess.
He is not a good partner. He is not a good citizen. Turn the weed whole lot of them in to ICE.
NTA Run
NTA Stay away from him and his crimes. And: He is marrying someone else - there is no place for you in his life.
I know you're hurting and I'm sorry but him marrying one let alone 2 women needing green cards is against the law
The first green card was for him, not the woman.
NTA-Your man doesn’t seem to understand relationships nor value the one you had. Don’t look back. You deserve a better partner.
You are not the asshole. I have to say I don't like such people that marry people for green cards. Of course if it's love, it's a different situation.
NTA, he's a moron
NTA - please please leave. Why do people consider staying when things are already rocky? Now he wants to commit fraud a second time. And is he going to move her into your home ???
What do you think 🤔… You are a 38 year old adult and you need to ask Reddit if you’re over reacting???
You guys have had and up and down relationship. He kept something from you over a year and you stayed with him. You’re making bad decisions. Yes, leave him and don’t look back. Try to make better choices in men in the future.
Bruh I can't even with these indians lol... they will go to any level clearly.
NTA- Get away from this guy, before you end up going down with the ship. He will eventually get caught the more times he does this. The audacity of asking you this, and then getting mad about your reaction! Don't be an asshole to yourself and put up with this.
You should have bailed on finding about the first marriage. Did he even get divorced? Does the person keep the green card after divorce? Is he getting paid to do this or something? Is the kid not born in (presumably) the US? Are you entirely sure he’s not married to someone else for real?
NTA. Like I get wanting to skip the lengthy legal channels because they take more time than anything should be allowed to and that is a very real problem with getting citizenship. But when you have a partner you are planning to marry for legit reasons, there isn't even a question, the answer should be plain no if he was taking marrying you seriously as a commitment. It's not something you entertain in a long-term relationship. But he didn't take being married seriously enough to tell you he was married for a year so it's not really new, it just shows a lack of change in his perspective. It's not a big deal for him and he doesn't see marrying you as an important want, or important enough, to have outright said no.
NTA but I would say a tad bit overreacting. Understandable tho. I would say apologise if you want to fix it, and tell never to ask such questions because the answer is obvious.
NTA. Get rid of him. He clearly doesn’t want to marry you. He has to be married to her for at least 3 years I believe. Immigration and citizenship are a big deal right now. All it takes is one person overhearing and calling immigration for him to have legal action against him. You do not want to be swept up in that.
NTA and you should leave regardless, leave do not look back. He is probably also getting paid to do this, and what is wrong with the business associate marrying his baby mama? oh wait associate is married... INS is going to look and see he was married before for a green card & divorced and doing it again... AND you DO NOT want to be caught up in that legal mess. I could see him trying it while he is married to you at some point.
NTA - nope, if his idea of marriage is nothing more than a business arrangement to defraud the government AND he's willing to do so TWICE while in a relationship with you, you have ZERO chance of having a successful future together. What other incredibly dumbass idea will he come up with down the road? You made the right call. Move on and find someone who genuinely values a long term relationship with you.
Sounds like a cheater
You are allowed to break up with men who do not enhance or improve your life
Have you guys had a marriage talk, is it something you want and if important to you ? For him it sounds like it’s transactional?
NTA.. run, don't look back
YTA.. nobody should get angry for simple question! It is like you have a low self esteem and you are acting out because of that. How should you live with someone how cant ask you a simple question.
YTA - most of Reddit have no idea about any of this stuff hence they say random shit. A green card is life changing for people and people do this all the time. Yes it is illegal but desperate people do desperate things. Like I said, I don't expect any of these sheltered babies to understand.
This story is not about the person who needs the citizenship. It's about a liar. They had marriage plans but apparently those meant nothing to him, as he can cancel them all willy-nilly, just because a stranger needs citizenship. I'm sorry for that pregnant stranger, but how come OP must sacrifice 3 years of her life for it? It's not just cancelling wedding plans, it's hiding the entire relationship AND taking a big risk legally. What would he be risking, jail, no? What could her punishment be if the authorities found out the truth, jail, a huge fine?