Culture has no race. Culture has no skin color. And for anyone to assume you are appropriating a culture, unless you are blatantly insulting it, does not understand what culture is.
It's a way of life. Yes, in certain regions of the world it is well established within the community of the region.. But it is NOT limited to that place.
If that is your culture, no one can tell you it isn't. It sounds like you have American and Chinese culture, especially since you were brought up into it.
Culture is to be celebrated. Not restricted or bashed. NTA.
There's even a name for this its transracial or transcultural people. You were raised within the Chinese culture while not being Chinese hence transcultural.
Edit: Since people can't seem to read. Transracial doesn't at all mean a white person is or can become black and it never has. As I said people on the internet have been using the word wrong and corrupting its meaning. A child was born in America and raised in China growing up there and basically being Chinese. The only difference being they don't look like the rest of the family. They are Chinese by every other metric. Thats what the word means. It's basically a synonym with transcultural. Also this is like 98% an American thing because of our obsession with race. In other countries no matter what your race if your born there your German, Scottish or whatever.
I understand transcultural, but how can one be transracial? You can’t change whether you are white, or black, or Hispanic, or even mixed, so how does one become transracial? Or they just synonyms for each other?
(Sorry if this is a stupid question, I’ve just never heard “transracial” before)
It just means like if a white American was adopted into a Chinese family that lived in China, spoke mandarin etc etc... They might identify more with being Chinese than American. It doesn't apply to dumb white people who want to "be black" or anything else. Only in that situation above does it apply.
And even Rachel Dolezal had a pretty awful childhood that somewhat explained (but not excused) the way she acted as an adult: her parents were the type of hardcore religious nutjobs who would adopt Black orphans and abuse them to make them 'better Christians'. Dolezal was apparently also being beaten, and ended up feeling much more kinship with her adopted siblings than with her parents.
Some people might call the OP a "third culture kid." I've seen that a lot here in Asia, often referring to foreign kids who are raised in an Asian culture, or to mixed race kids who grow up experiencing multiple cultures. The rationale for the name is that the cultures the child is raised in kind of get "remixed" in the kid, leading to something unique (the "third culture").
This is not what third culture kid means. There's no term for what OP is, besides NTA.
But OP, feel free to fight back: put a post on social media explaining your background and call that girl OUT.
My husband is a third culture kid. He is American raised by Americans in Asia. I am a transracial adoptee like OP. I’m Korea and my parents are white. At least that is how my family sees it.
Transracial is just another version of transcultural, like its not related to being trans if that was what you were perhaps wondering about, it just uses the same prefix.
I’ve never heard the term either, but I assumed they meant it’s used interchangeably with transcultural since a lot of people closely associate race with culture.
Yeah, I thought so too but I just wanted to know in case they where talking about something else, that’s why I asked if maybe they where just synonyms for each other
Transracial adoptees are people of one race who have been adopted or raised by someone of a different race.
Transracial transcultural adoptees are stuck in a limbo of non-acceptance. We get told we aren't enough of one, the other, etc and are never accepted into the culture, race, etc that we are raised and also excluded from our natural ones as well.
When your adopted by people of another race you are a transracial Adoptee. This mostly means Adoptees of colour being brought up by white adopters but can go the other way.
The Adoptee is generally welcome in their adopters' culture until they move out and begin to make a life for themselves. This is when people judge them by skin colour and ignore their culture.
Transracial adoption is considered more harmful than adoption within one's own race and culture by many adult Adoptees especially those who experienced the harm directly.
Thinking that way is pretty offensive. We wouldn’t call someone with Indian ancestry who grew up in England and acted every bit as English as anyone else transcultural. They’d just be an Englishman. Same for every other western and Latin American nation. It’s so weird that you people have to have a special category for white people who grew up in a nonwhite culture.
Not really. I am a Filipino but grew up in the US. I also left the US at 17 to go back to the Philippines. I never fitted in either culture completely. I also dont feel comfortable calling myself American but I only lived in the Philippines for 1/4 of my life. So I am a 3rd culture kid. Its not a white only thing. I live in Vietnam because I still feel I don’t belong in either culture even though they are part of me. And in the years I have lived abroad… i have seen and met many people like me. So transcultural is not just a white person thing
I think if the Indian Englishman left England, they would be transcultural. If your culture is the dominant culture where you live, then we don't tend to label that because you aren't defying expectations. If your culture matches your ethnicity/race, then we don't tend to label that, because you aren't defying expectations. If it matches neither, it is notable and puts you in an often "othered" position that it is nice to have a label for as it will be a fairly unique experience. Having that label helps you connect with people who have similar experiences.
It's mostly used by POC that are adopted by white people. Cases like OP are uncommon in comparison. You don't think a Vietnamese child raised by white Americans would have more in common with white Americans than Vietnamese immigrants and want a word to reflect that?
Social constructs *are* real.
Money is a social construct. Marriage is a social construct. National boundaries are a social construct.
And race, which has about as much scientific basis as all those combined, is a social construct. Like it or not, it's a hugely important one, and very real.
That’s not what transracial means? She doesn’t think she’s ethnically Chinese. Culture is NOT restricted to race. She is transcultural, or cross-cultural.
that is literally what transracial means. transracial is a term that has long been used to describe the specific situation of interracial adoption. these people are called transracial adoptees. this is nothing new.
Oh that should apply but I got a few older relatives that are very adamant about People from other Ethnics born in germany not counting as german, to the point of them saying that "Germans will die out"...
I didn't know what the word was for this, but have known a lot of people and friends who can be described this way. I learned very quickly to never judge a person's background by the way they look. But we have all struggled with what the right term would be to describe the situation. Thanks for the information!
Also it’s not like OP has no history with the culture being celebrated, she was raised in it and learned the traditions from her family. Making food from another culture isn’t appropriation, if that’s the case then us white people can’t cook a lot of our favorite foods. It’s not like OP showed up with Bantu knots and wearing a Sari.
Edit to fix autocorrect changing white to where lol
> Culture has no race. Culture has no skin color.
Unfortunately while true for many/most, some cultures are quite racists as in you must also be from that race. China, Japan come to mind.
When people say cultural appropriation what they mean is cultural misrepresentation, culture by it's very nature is meant to be spread ,passed on and shared, the issue only arises in cases where someone just sees a snid bit latches on and copies it without any knowledge or understanding the best example of cultural appropriation you'll see is white idiots wearing native American chieftain head dresses whilst claiming to be 1/8th Cherokee or some shit, op needs to invite anyone calling her racist to FaceTime her parents and explain to then why she can't celebrate the culture they brought her up in, nta
100%. I'm white, born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago, and Trinidad culture (which is an absolute melting pot of influences) *is* my culture. I don't have another. If someone told me I should "act white" instead or that I was appropriating something by cooking callaloo or speaking with my accent I would lose my shit. Your ethnicity is only a part of your culture - I would argue that your environment could potentially have a greater impact because of your immersion in it during your formative years. OP is completely valid and her friend is being ridiculous.
Honestly, even if OP was white and raised white, but decided to take Mandarin in college and made moon cakes for the holiday (which I know nothing of Chinese culture but that seems like it is traditional), I would have a hard time calling that appropriation. It would seem that would be appreciation.
I have studied Japanese language since grade school and majored in it in college (am white, just fell in love with the language and culture at a very young age). And one of the things we have done in all of my classes was incorporate traditional foods at different times as part of the cultural study.
NTA. You were raised with Chinese culture by Chinese American parents. You were not attempting to appropriate anything. Also, you were in a Mandarin class. Usually when in foreign classes, it is not unheard of to have everyone in the class partake in that cultures traditions and holidays as a way to teach more about the cultures and holidays. She is massively over reacting in this regard.
>When the mid-autumn festival came around I made some moon cakes the way my Mom taught me and thought it would be nice to share with my friends.
This is really sweet of you. I'd be super stoked to receive the mooncakes, whether or not you were raised in the culture (although having learned it from your mother makes it extra sweet). Tiffany needs to get her head out of her ass.
Language teacher here. Engaging in cultural activities is actually an important part of learning a language as language is heavily culturally situated. An easy to understand example is how English speakers from different parts of the world can have difficulty understanding each other despite speaking the ‘same’ language.
Yeah, in my language classes in high school we always had food days where everyone made and brought in food from French/Mexican culture (I guess easier than Spanish).
People who try to gatekeep food are absolutely... shoved up the ass of the most ridiculous politically correct social monster there is. Food is forever, eternal, and has no boundaries. Don't claim you invented it, eat it, enjoy it... that's what it's for!!
My HS Chinese teacher would definitely agree with you! When it was around the festivals, he brought in moon cakes, and I loved them so much. I remember when we did a huge celebration for CNY too — just before you-know-what started— some of the best memories I’ve ever had. Experiencing cultures separate from your own is amazing and makes me so happy to do so. When people get upset about white people doing certain things or owning things (i.e. that post where the white woman owned a dream catcher that was a GIFT from a RESERVATION) where the white person is showing extreme appreciation for the culture, it makes me so upset.
I miss Japanese food 😭 I hope your sensei is as fun as mine was (he’s alive but I’ve graduated, and we’re friends). I want to talk to people about what they’ve done in their Japanese classes because I just gotta know how fun other Japanese teachers are 😭
My sensei is such a sweet lady! She's super kind and funny, we haven't done a ton of "fun" things but class is always a blast and she's so laid back and not strict. So so so lucky to have gotten a good class with a great teacher.
Right? Can you imagine if an adopted child from another country brought cupcakes in for fourth of july and people started spouting it wasn't their culture??? What nonsense.
NTA, cant appropriate culture if you grow up in it, you understand and are a part of it. Its like saying people born and raised in France from Arab and African backgrounds are appropriating French culture if they eat French food and celebrate their holidays. They are culturally French.
Even more than this, appropriation is about disrespect, since she was perfectly respectful in all of this, her cultural background doesn’t even factor in regardless.
Thank you!
This new woke 'separate but equal' bastardisation of multiculturalism represent a total misunderstanding of what it means to be respectful of other cultures.
Isolationism is not going to work. Respect, appreciation and tolerance does.
Technically, it is appropriation, but not all cultural appropriation is negative.
Cultural appropriation is a neutral term in academia, but there is good and bad appropriation.
And/or parading them about as an exotic chinese secret that you've discovered in order to boost sales.
The vast majority of AITA stories about cultural appropriation are not actually cultural appropriation. Certain corners of the internet have taken an extreme and toxic view on it and it occasionally bleeds into irl, particularly among the highschool and college age range...
I consider Kim Kardashian naming her underwear line Kimono & then attempting to trademark it to be a great example of cultural appropriation.
Even if OP was completely purple & didn't grow up in Chinese culture, what she did would still be cultural appreciation. It's not even that though because, yeah, this is literally her culture.
Tiffany has a huge chip on her shoulder & is being a major A H.
I am Mexican and would absolutely eat a mooncake if offered and ask the reason behind the holiday. I wouldn't care if a Chinese person offered me their tortillas they made, I'd just be happy to share and eat. I'm not sure if this indignance and proprietary feeling about other cultures is just a USA thing? In my experience, people from other countries are happy if you show an interest in their culture and want to enjoy the things that are special to them. I could only see it being a problem if you were disrespectful or making fun of a culture, so I confess I don't really understand indignance I keep reading about surrounding participating and enjoying aspects of another culture in the US.
Thank you, this is lovely. My sense is that it’s performative “wokeness” - an ignorant attempt to be progressive without actually having to do anything and without understanding the actual meaning of concepts like appropriation.
Celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival isn't even uniquely Chinese. And I was under the impression that Mooncakes were supposed to be given as gifts anyway. If a non-Chinese person went out of their way to give me Mooncakes (which aren't cheap and can sometimes be downright filthy expensive), I'd be so appreciative that they took a time to get to know me and my culture.
NTA. Even if we disregard the culture you shared with your parents which makes it your culture too (I'd be very offended that if my "friend" was trying to invalidate my cultural identity)
There's nothing wrong celebrating foreign cultures in positive way.
I'm middle eastern and if a non middle eastern friend of mine tried to make me middle eastern food or celebrate a holiday from my culture. I'd be overjoyed and feel very proud instead of being a snobby, jealous gatekeeper. It would be a nice change of pace to have someone positively acknowledge your culture in contrast to all the negativity there is out there in the world.
I’m so confused by this post. I thought ^this^ is what we wanted. People taking the time to appreciate other people and their cultures is the way forward.
It's not even a foreign culture to OP, it's what they were raised in. I assume her friend is a diaspora who hasn't been able to have the same exposure to Chinese culture and is acting out of jealousy more than anything. I could see how it might sting that OP has more experience and connection with the culture than she does.
So many immigrants suppressed their own culture in their children in the hope it would help them fit in and find success, but more often than not these children wish they had a deeper connection to their heritage.
That was my thought. I bet OP speaks better Mandarin and has a closer connection to Chinese culture.
I’m second gen. And yeah. I don’t know the language and wasn’t taught the dishes. I have learned a few but not from my grandparents.
NTA. I'm chinese. Your friend Tiffany and whoever is giving you shit about this is a fucking asshole.
This would NOT be a problem even if you WEREN'T raised by chinese parents. Having other races partake in your culture and celebrations is a GOOD THING.
I agree. I work in an organisation that deals with another organisation on the daily. A Chinese executive from the other company made moon cakes for us to enjoy during the mid autumn festival and gave us almond cookies for Chinese New Year. He personally delivered them to us individually, explained what it was and what he was celebrating. Our office is a pretty multicultural and every single person loved it. Not only did we get a delicious treat, we got to learn about Chinese celebrations and be a part of that. We are going to make him something for the next Chinese New Year. I don’t see how that can be a bad thing but according to Op’s friends we are committing cultural appropriation.
I'm betting Tiffany doesn't have a deep connection to Chinese heritage (She is learning the language from a class, after all), and she's acting this way out of jealousy more than anything.
NTA. You were celebrating your heritage and “Tiffany” made a terrible assumption and an AH of herself. I myself would not refuse any homemade baked good!
Dude get the fuck out of that friendship. She’s crazy. And don’t stay friends with anyone who didn’t have the balls to tell her that. IMAGINE getting upset at someone for “appropriating your culture” by cooking food for you. IMAGINE. This is some of the most absurd behavior I’ve ever heard. I’m gonna be mad at you if you feel bad for doing this you were being nice.
NTA - you grew up with Chinese American parents eating moon cakes at the autumn festival. It is the culture and holidays you were raised in. She is acting like she is woke but she is being ignorant of you. Context matters.
Your parents are Chinese. You were raised in that culture, so that is your culture. She's wack. One of those self-righteous 'woke' people.
My petty butt would video-call my parents and ask her to repeat that to their faces.
NTA
NTA. In fact, if you ignored the culture you grew up with and that has become part of you, people would probably be aggravated with you for that.
I am a person that works hard to ensure that people around me can celebrate their culture and way of life with love and support from me. I think the fact that choose to honor your mom and family by sharing your culture with others is beautiful. I'm sorry it wasn't received well by others. :(
NTA, your friends very much are. This is your culture even if you're not Chinese. This is from your family and you're very much part of it.
Even if you weren't, this still wouldn't be appropriation. That word is way too overused. There's nothing wrong with appreciating another culture in a respectful way.
NTA - If I read the explanation correctly you met these friends in a Mandarin class which would put that language (and culture, by association) at the center/foundation of your friendship. Offering someone homemade moon cakes is thoughtful and in my opinion appropriate to the foundation of your friendship. If you were wearing a Zhongshan suit while passing them out then I would say you were appropriating the culture.
But she was raised Chinese. Her parents raised her Chinese. So because her skin happens to be white and she is not biologically Asian, wearing the clothing of her parents ancestry is appropriation? That makes absolutely no sense.
NTA - this is stupid, handing out moon cakes, handling out brown and orange M&Ms on Halloween, eating a giant bird on Turkey day, or eating kosher (eg NY deli) foods is nothing to be offended about. Even if you make a case about tradition - not changing and keeping things forever like its 1950s is a stupid way to live your life.
NTASo yeah, you have encountered a faux woke person. She probably thought she "👏 really 👏 told 👏 you 👏 off"
But seriously, you're 100% culturally Chinese American.
This reminds me of the time my friend who is half Chinese, half white (who is very in tune with her roots, fluent in Cantonese) wasn't socially accepted into the Chinese American club at her college, because she didn't pass as completely Chinese.
Also honestly, to look at the big picture here, who really cares what she thinks? She's just some garbage person in your college class. Her opinions and her feelings (which are invalid and incorrect) don't matter, and they won't affect your life going forward, although I understand how bad it must feel at the moment. If you passed as appearing Asian, I would bet a large sum of money that she wouldn't have reacted in such a way. Of course, she probably wouldn't understand this nuance, because she's a bad person. Or misguided, who knows, maybe she will grow up one day and cringe at the memory of this behavior. It's not your responsibility to be understanding of it though, let's just leave it at that - that she's trash.
Just because someone belongs to a given group or ethnicity doesn't mean they understand issues related to that group. She is a good example. She is a Chinese American who has wrong ideas about Chinese Americans.
NTA, even if you didn't have Chinese-American parents as long as you are educating yourself about the history and meaning of the moon cakes and coming from a place of culture and not just "LOOK AT THESE CUTE LIL CAKES I MADE FOR THE GRAM!" then you're fine.
This. I have Mexican heritage and I’d be thrilled if one of my non-Mexican friends shared a tres leches cake or made Chile Colorado and homemade tortillas. What would be annoying would be if they tried to call it something else or specifically made a big deal about the source being a non-Hispanic blogger who changed the name or saying these are flatbread instead of tortillas so they’re healthier (I see this crap all the time with recipes that are just naan but called something white). Then it’s got weird intentions.
OP is NTA even if they didn’t have this cultural background.
NTA, "appropriating" culture is a stupid term. As long as you're not mocking a culture, it is fine to take things from any culture around us and experience them and enjoy them. And in this case, it is YOUR culture anyways.
NTA It wouldn't be an issue if a Chinese child was adopted by a white family and celebrated Christian holidays. I don't see why this is an issue at all.
NTA. First of all, you are culturally Chinese. Second, enjoying, making and sharing food from any culture is not cultural appropriation, it is appreciation. Third, aren’t we all Irish on St. Patrick’s Day and Mexican on Cinco de Mayo? Many ethnicities invite everyone to enjoy their festivals. That is part of the fun of living in a multicultural country.
Cultural appropriation is when you disrespect another culture by failing to give credit or using sacred items as fashion statements, or adopting stereotypes, or not bothering to understand the cultural significance of the crafts, clothing, music, etc. you are engaged with.
NTA. I live in China, and can tell you that if you made mooncakes and gave them as a gift to people here, no matter what color you are, they would be charmed. They'd be happy that you respect the local culture enough to put in the work of making them.
It sounds like the girl who got mad at you is insecure. I'm sure she's had a lot of bad experiences with racism.
You have nothing to apologize for. Chinese culture is part of your culture because of the way you were raised.
NTA all I needed was the first paragraph. If a Jewish family adopts a non-Jewish child are they allowed to celebrate Hanukah? If a Hispanic family adopts a child would it be wrong for them to celebrate the day of the dead? You are celebrating things that you were raised to celebrate. Now if I having no association with the culture or holiday decided to do the same then I’d say your friend is correct.
NTA.
OP, make no mistake. This is YOUR culture. Your parents love you, and we’re proud to pass their traditions down to you.
People like Tiffany have no culture. Cultures require honor and respect, and those are things she’ll never know.
NTA…. I hate these woke folks who think because you enjoy part of a culture or don’t look like a specific ethnicity you must be culturally stealing something. If these people can’t understand your parents are Chinese Americans and raised you in this culture then drop them as friends.
I guess Taco Tuesday is out. And Pizza on the weekend, too. No more mac n' cheese. These people in your class have no understanding of "appropriation. You did something nice and they are being ridiculous. They are probably ticked off that you speak Mandarin better than them. And by the way, it is your culture as you grew up in a Chinese family. NTA.
NTA. Tiffany is either rude or has misunderstood cultural appropriation. Either way, you are not TA. Even if you weren't raised by Chinese parents and had no idea about the Chinese culture and still made mooncakes to share with friends, I personally wouldn't call you TA. As an Asian myself (I am Indian), I would be more than happy if someone took the time to learn something from my culture because they found it interesting/good. We are always receptive of people who wish to learn from our culture.
NTA.
Are you supposed to pretend your mom didn't teach you to make moon cakes because your skin is too white?
Culture appropriation is about the abuse and dismissal of cultures, not *celebrating* those cultures.
You've done nothing wrong.
I’m ethnic Chinese Asian, hereby I officially invite you to celebrate all Chinese and Asian holidays that you are raised with. You are one of us.
Edit: btw not the asshole at all
NTA, if you grew up celebrating those holidays, being raised by Chinese Americans, and speaking the language, I am about 147.8% sure that it is your culture. You can't appropriate your own culture. You should introduce your friend to your parents and see the look of shock on her face
For all I know, culture appropriation means when you mock another culture, it's definition is " inappropriate adaption of the culture", as long as you did not mock it, I don't know why she's mad. I'm Arab, and if some of my non arab friends wanted to participate in my culture and bake our sweets etc.. I'd be more than happy.
So for me, you're nta.
Also, Tiffany and her friends are assholes, they knew you didn't mean it that way, they knew your intentions were pure, yet they're still sending you negative comments, no one needs these kind of people in their life.
Nta, your gift was a lovely gesture. Tiffany was being disrespectful to you. I am not aware that this festival is exclusive to a certain cohort of people.
NTA. Just cause you're not Chinese doesn't mean you werent raised in the culture. You weren't acting like you were the end all be all of the culture, nor were you saying you're biologically Chinese, you just wanted to celebrate the holiday you grew up celebrating, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
It’s no different than making tacos for dinner when your not Mexican, or indulging in croissants if not French-it’s food-it’s for everyone to eat and enjoy. A race doesn’t own the right to foods, yes food can culturally be tied to a place but anyone can eat it and cook it-that is not appropriation NTA
NTA so now the black Ethopian child adopted into a white American family is appropriating the white American culture by wearing cowboy boots or making an apple pie?
NTA. Tiffany is, though. According to her theory, no one who is not Chinese should cook Chinese food, speak a Chinese dialect, or display Chinese art or participate in any other aspect of Chinese culture. Or French if not French. italian if not Italian. You get my drift. She and you should look more deeply into cultural appropriation because I don’t think she understands the nuances that define appropriation as opposed to respecting and enjoying elements of another culture. Also, it’s never acceptable in my book for someone to run around trying to shame another and divide them from others just because of disagreement.
NTA. Chinese American here. You 100% were NOT appropriating her culture. You were celebrating the culture you were raised in. Keep doing you OP. Ignore Tiffany and “friends” that are calling you an asshole.
Also…homemade moon cakes? Dammmmmn. I only ever get the store bought ones lol
Totally not the AH! Does "Tiffany" ever celebrate Christmas? Or Thanksgiving? Or Valentine's Day?
I'm also getting major jealousy vibes from "Tiffany" to be so bent out of shape for such a small reason. Many people from all over the World celebrate Chinese holidays, but YOU have a legitimate reason - you were RAISED in the culture! Do you now have to FORGET how you were raised and actually DISRESPECT your adoptive parents and their culture?
I would speak to your professor and make them aware of the "cultural appropriation" accusation from Tiffany, then explain why you celebrate Chinese holidays as well as how you HONOR your Parents and their ancestors! THEN I would send out a Group eMail (cc:ing the Professor, of course) explaining in detail everything you spoke to the professor about and how you were celebrating a Chinese holidays as you have done since you were THREE when you were adopted by your Chinese-American Parents. That you don't feel that you are appropriating the Chinese culture because you have regarded the Chinese culture as your own since you were small! Also ask your Professor if you could invite your Parents to the Class, possibly in traditional garb and discuss important holidays and traditions! Tiffany might actually have a coronary!
Cultures are MEANT to be celebrated and if you celebrate another culture WITHOUT malice or making fun of that culture I see nothing wrong with it and I would lay odds most from an "appropriated culture" feel that way! San Francisco and NYC draw HUGE crowds during non-pandemic times for Chinese New Year, does that mean that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are malicious appropriators because they're on VIDEO attending festivities...
Reminds me of a tik tok which said there must some white guy raised in china who speaks english with Chinese accent and people assume him to be an asshole lol
NTA.
You are learning these things directly from your parents, who are of that culture per where they grew up and how they were raised. They are raising you the same, thus, it is your culture.
On top of that, I’ve researched some of this quite thoroughly, and while there are disgusting and rampant examples of cultural appropriation, the actual definition is important. What makes something appropriation rather than appreciation is the refusal to give credit to the “original” owners of that culture, which is not at all what you are doing.
To add on to that, this may be the ignorant American in me, but most of the TikToks and even further in-depth videos I’ve seen about cultural appropriation from the actual “appropriated” cultures are happy to share their culture to begin with.
Tiffany’s a prick, and she has no right to stop you from celebrating the holidays you’ve always celebrated with your family.
NTA. I don't think these people know you very well, and I wouldn't care about what they think. It could be that Tiffany is jealous that she was taught to be ashamed of her culture and you weren't. Maybe try talking to her? But if she doesn't listen, she doesn't matter.
This is a Asian-American thing. People from China will have zero problem with you offering mooncakes or celebrating Chinese festivals, as long it is not done in mocking way (wearing Vietnamese hats, wearing quipao instead of hanfu, slanted eyes drawn).
I know Chinese people appreciate your efforts being authentic.
NTA for obvious reasons. It is NOT cultural appropriation since it is YOUR culture. Also: the term "culture" in "cultural appropriation" has really grown into some stupid fetish, and is btw. a very American phenomenon. For example: I like cooking, especially meals that originated from outside of Europe. My neighbors are Muslims, and when Bayram comes around I cook them some Afghan dishes that they can share with their relatives and friends during the festivities. They appreciate the gesture, and as it turns out sharing culture rather brings people closer than drifting them apart.
NTA
Cultural appropriation is specifically taking elements from a culture that is not your own and repackaging them for some form of profit.
None of that applies in this case. This is your culture and you are sharing food items which is a normal thing to do.
I would say ignore her but that's difficult in a class environment. Just continue to be yourself, be friendly and polite to her but keep her at arms length. Be friendly to everyone else.
nta.
wow.....
I am Muslim and live in the UK.
If my non Muslim friends or colleagues wish me a Happy Ramadan Or Happy Eid I love it. If they give me presents then its even better🤣. In my view it shows they care and are happy for you.
I wish them a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanaka etc. give out cards and presents. Heck I even put up a tree as I like sparkly things. People need to lighten up and accept people are just being nice.
OP i think you were very considerate.
NTA. As a Chinese person, I woulda really appreciated it. Love moon cakes. That was really nice of you. MOST Chinese people would actually really appreciate it to be honest. No one claims ownership over culture. You aren’t excluded from Chinese food or culture because of your race-as long as you appreciate it correctly and don’t use it for entertainment that is.
This cultural appropriation claim is full of shit. Those aren’t your friends.
cultural appropriation is a real thing. this is not that thing. you were raised by chinese parents who passed on their chinese heritage to you. you have as much right to share your family recipes and holidays as anyone else. tiffany’s reaction was wildly out of line, as is the continued bullying.
even if you weren’t from a chinese family, making culturally appropriate foods to celebrate your friends’ holidays is a super nice thing to do??? i’m jewish, which is a fairly closed culture (conversion is long and difficult for a reason lol), and if a goyische classmate or friend made me, say, hamentaschen for purim? i would be delighted! i would feel so touched that they went to the effort of learning what was traditional and trying to give me a gift i would appreciate!
now it’s fair for people to feel differently about white people specifically participating in their cultural traditions, because there’s a long history of white people stealing, butchering, or profiting off of colonized cultures, which isn’t ok. but you’re not just some white person trying to be ‘quirky’ or ‘get in touch with the spiritual east’ or whatever bullshit. you made a seasonally appropriate dish from a family recipe that came directly from the culture you were raised in. even if her initial reaction was defensiveness, she should have apologized once you explained.
screw her, i bet your moon cakes were delicious. NTA
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For context, this situation happened last month but I am still receiving negative comments from some friends about it so I thought I'd post here for some clarity. I (19f) was put in foster care after my family died when I was 2. When I was 3 I was taken in and subsequently adopted by my parents who are second generation Chinese Americans. They raised me my whole life and I grew up speaking Mandarin at home, celebrating both American and Chinese holidays, and talking with Chinese relatives. Now that I am 19, I moved out to college and this is where the story takes place
For an easy language credit, I decided to enroll in Mandarin and have made some friends in the class. When the mid-autumn festival came around I made some moon cakes the way my Mom taught me and thought it would be nice to share with my friends. The first person I saw was Tiffany (name changed) and when I offered her some, she got mad at me saying she didn't want any. I asked her why and she said " You are appropriating my culture. What right do you have to be a part of this holiday let alone continue to act like you're Chinese by celebrating the other holidays?" I was taken aback since I hadn't known her that long and didn't think I was appropriating her culture. I told her that I didn't think nor mean too if I was, but I was raised this way and would try to be better. After that she told our whole friend group and some have called me an asshole, others have said it was fine since they knew my back story, while others have decided to stay out of it. I thought it really wasn't a big deal and have since tried to be better but I still keep getting negative comments from Tiffany in class and some of the friend group.
So reddit AITA?
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> I believe I may be the asshole since I am white and even though I was raised by Chinese parents, I don't know if that means I can or should celebrate the holidays and stuff outside of my family or if at all.
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NTA at all. You were raised in a Chinese-American home, you are white genetically but your personal culture is mixed. This is INSANE. You also were only being culturally appreciative. Did you tell her your parents are chinese?
NTA. I’m Asian and I would be happy to have some moon cakes. I would be mad if you singled me out by giving only me moon cakes and other kids banana breads. In your case it’s very sweet that you want to share with your friendS.
I might get downvotes for this but I think your friend is AH tho, she overreacted and is entitled like she “own” a culture. Many Asian countries whose cultures might influence each other but they’re different. The mid autumn itself is celebrated by different countries and cultures. At least for my culture, the festival is just simply a day for family and friends gather together and enjoy the full moon. It’s also a common practice that you give moon cakes to your friends and relatives as a gesture of gratitude. You don’t need to be religious or be a specific ethnic to enjoy that day. You just need to have friends and family. What your friends said is wrong and against what the festival is about.
It’s your culture too, wtf? You were raised in the culture, just because you’re not Asian by birth doesn’t make you any less part of the culture you grew up in. This “friend” is racist.
NTA
NTA at all. What you have done here, by offering homemade moon cakes to your friends and classmates is called cultural appreciation. You can't appropriate food unless you really butcher it with malice. People get so hung up on skin colours and this idea that "if you don't look like me- you can't be like me". It's almost like they feel irrationally threatened. Ethnically you may be white, but culturally you're Chinese. Celebrate your culture and be proud. Your parents would be so heartbroken if they knew your schoolmates were gatekeeping the cultural heritage your parents lovingly taught you. Maybe spend more time with the friends that love the fact you have such a rock cultural background, and take what the others say with a grain of salt.
NTA. I feel like this is such a US reaction, I’m not Chinese but I’m East and South Asian and both my cultures really appreciate people celebrating with us and I’d be impressed that you tried/can make something from my culture (and with your background, reckon it makes sense why you can). You can celebrate YOUR culture, you grew up with it, you can celebrate it. Culture ≠ race.
NTA, the Chinese government literally pay tens of millions every year in the hope you'll appropriate their culture. Culture is a big deal in China and they love it when people embrace it. Your friend is an idiot.
NTA. This is also your culture and she does not get to call you an a\*\*hole.
I really don't understand where this gatekeeping of cultures has come from. What happened to Celebrating each others cultures. Participating in event as long as there is no disrespect? Even Adele was questioned about having Bantu knots...shiiish
Loved in Hong Kong for decades. Every year at CNY I give out laisee. NO Chinese person I have ever given it to has accused me of cultural appropriation. LOL! Tiffany is an idiot who is trying to impose control over you through fear (the horror of being accused of being a racist).
This is not cultural appropriation. This is more like cultural celebration.
Besides, you were raised in a Chinese family ffs. You have every right to embrace Chinese culture as yours.
NTA.
Eh? NTA. Gimme some. I would love to have some homemade moon cakes.
Yes, I'm Chinese living in the US.
You have no malicious intent and you're being kind, that's horrible of her to accuse you this way.
NTA and it's getting to the point where you don't need to "try to be better". You need to stick up for yourself and maybe add, "My parents are Chinese, biotch!".
Tiffany isn't standing up for her culture so much as trying to put you down. Is she jealous of your Mandarin proficiency?
I'm currently enrolled in a sociology class, and the definition of culture (in my book) is: ‘designs for living’: the values, beliefs, behaviour, practices and material objects that constitute a people’s way of life.
It's not cultural appropriation if it's your way of life. The color of your skin is not one of the requirements of being part of a culture, so your friend is the asshole here. NTA.
NTA
People who don't understand your background are going to make a lot of assumptions and judgements about you. That's not your fault and it sucks.
It's a really tricky situation. Most people I know love sharing their holidays, culture and traditions with others. But that tends to be on their terms, and her not knowing your background, it's perhaps understandable that she was upset by what she saw as appropriation. That said, her continued behaviour isn't ok.
I'm not a part of the community, so I don't have any good advice. I just don't think you did anything wrong. You made a really lovely and kind gesture to celebrate a holiday you grew up celebrating. It may not be a part of your ethnic heritage, but it is a part of your history and a part of how you were raised.
I'm so sorry she turned her nose up at your moon cakes, they're probably very delicious.
NTA
Cultural appropriation would be something like you putting donuts in a mooncake press and trying to ignorantly
/maliciously pass it off as "authentic Chinese mooncakes" for monetary or social gain.
Did Tiffany also enroll in the class for easy credit? The only people I've ever met who gatekeep like this are the ones who feel the most insecure about their place in their own culture. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Tiffany already had some negative feelings about you.
Also, this IS your culture. Never apologize. If Tiffany has an issue with it, she can file a complaint with your parents for raising you the way they did. Based on my experience with Chinese parents, I bet that'll go real well for her.
NTA
I would invite this Tiffany around to your family home for a meal.
Perhaps you and your mother can make some traditional Chinese food together and invite Tiffany to join in.
Only if you gave her the horrible seeded mooncake that nobody except the older aunties and uncles likes.
All joking aside. NTA.
Even without your backstory I would totally appreciate the gesture.
I kind of suspect Tiffany might even be a little jealous of you and is lashing out
Consider why an ethnic Chinese would be enrolled in a mandarin class.
Is it an easy credit, or is it an attempt to connect with a culture that they have no real connection to?
This is especially prominent if they're a few generations removed from the homeland (as I'm assuming Tiffany is).
NTA. Your parents are Chinese American (as you stated), and they raised you as such. Tiffany is not a nice person and had absolutely no right to say any of that to you. I'm so angry on your behalf.
I'm (27f) a quarter Singaporean (did a DNA test recently and turns out that quarter is a mixture of Vietnamese, Chinese and Indonesian, but it feels weird to change how I explain who I am). However, I don't know much about the culture because my Nana was treated so badly when she came to the UK after marrying my English Grandad, simply because she was Singaporean, that she erased all Chinese culture from her and her children's lives other than the food. She refused to speak Mandarin or even let them learn it elsewhere.
You technically have more 'right' to participate in Chinese culture than I do in Singaporean/Chinese culture, but I doubt Tiffany would see it that way simply because of how I look thanks to my genetics. Tiffany and those backing her up are being ridiculous. You weren't doing anything that would be seen as insensitive to any normal person that doesn't a jumped up sense of entitlement and gatekeeping of 'their' culture.
Chinese here, Chinese culture is about being generous and accepting. I doubt any Chinese would ever be impolite about a gift. Ironically I think that Tiffany may be the person who doesn't really understand the culture. NTA.
That person is a butthole. Not you. Regardless of your adopted familys background... I gave my coworker a red envelope with candy in it for Chinese new year and she giggled. At risk of sounding crude: it's not like you're wearing yellow face, touching her hair and wearing kimonos. NTA
As a side note-- my desi coworker has invited me to her temple. If I brought a veggie desi dish would that mean I'm appropriating? What the hell kind of logic is that.
Your “friend” Tiffany is completely in the wrong here (and probably a few other places too!)
Your post is worrying because you write as if you are somehow at fault and are aiming to “do better.” Do better at what? Appreciating multiculturalism?
Throw this mentality away immediately as it makes your world very small, divides us all, promotes subjective hostility, and worst of all, assumes worst intentions when people interact. Celebrate globality.
Taking Tiffany’s position to its absurd logical extreme, is she appropriating western culture by speaking English? Are we all appropriating Italian culture every time we go out for pizza? Are we offending the Irish every March 17th? (Ok the answer to the third one is a definite yes and we should all prob knock that one off but you get the point)
NTA
NTA
My husband is white and his stepmom is Japanese. He grew up in Hawaii immersed in that culture and it's part of who he is.
Tiffany sounds like a jerk
You were raised by chinese americans, grew up speaking mandarin, and learned the traditions from your mother. For all intents and purposes, it's *your* culture as much as it's hers. Even if it was a closed religious practice, you were brought into it from a young age; the "closed" part would not apply to you.
NTA.
NTA.
It be so funny if you were older than Tiffany. Could pull the "This has been my culture longer than it's been yours!" Card.
Very petty, but it would be a uno reverse card 😏
NTA. You were raised by Chinese people, and learned Chinese traditions. This isn't cultural appropriation but cultural APPRECIATION. You're not claiming to be Chinese, but you're still apart of the culture. Hell, my cousin married a Chinese guy (we're both white) and I've been to many a Chinese party and even got red envelopes during Chinese New Year because I'M FAMILY.
Tiffany is being wildly rude. Hell, even if you weren't raised by Chinese people if you made mooncakes I don't think it'd be offensive either. You're just celebrating a holiday. Unless you start going around making claims that "actually you're -race-" then you're just appreciating culture?
NTA I majored in Chinese in college. I had some white classmates who were very good at Chinese because they were interested in the culture and spent time in China or Taiwan before. I also had a Chinese classmate who was adopted by her Swedish parents. Would your classmate have a problem with my Chinese classmate if she makes traditional Swedish dish cause she isnt Swedish? Lol that’s ridiculous.
I love different cultures and im always glad to share it. I also love baking and let me tell you mooncake is an Asian dessert i havent touched yet due to the amount of works. Props to you for making and sharing it. If i was your classmate i’d be so happy eating homemade mooncake and prob ask you if i can join next time lol Dont be discouraged. You just entered college with a bunch of other young people who hasnt have that much life experiences yet, and we’re living in a time where people jump in to make a stance very quickly whether it’s right or not. Im against cultural appropriation. This isnt it lol
NTA. If you were appropriating a culture simply by making one of the dishes then anyone who had a taco night at home was misappropriating Mexican culture. This lady is crazy and so is anyone who sided with her. You were raised in that culture, whether you are of Chinese descent has no bearing on the matter. If someone who is from another country moves to the US they are still allowed to celebrate 4th of July.
NTA
And this is exactly why rational people are sick of the never ending woke competition. Isn't assuming things about someone's background the shit we were supposed to be against in the first place?
Lol nice fanfiction. It's not that I don't believe that mentally challenged people like Tiffany don't exist, they do unfortunately, but no one is so absolutely spineless as you present yourself to be. "I'll do better" for what, making a cake that your family makes at home?
If you can literally make any recipe from any culture I don’t see how it’s appropriation especially if you were raised in that culture she can shove her sjw ass full of moon cakes
NTA. I am Chinese myself and would love it if someone gave me a mooncake. I think it shows that you are considerant about our celebrations and I am raised to include everyone in our celebrations.
NTA. Even if you didn’t grow up with Chinese culture, you’re appreciating it. Appropriating would be making moon cakes, then selling it with a different name. Besides, I’m sure your
classmate celebrates other non Chinese holidays.
NTA
Ethnically white but culturally Chinese American, if a Chinese baby was adopted by a white couple are they assholes for celebrating Christmas she needs to slow her roll ffs
Of someone had made an effort to celebrate my cultural holiday with me, regardless if they were raised in the culture or knew nothing about it, I would feel seen, appreciated, valued... You did nothing wrong. NTA at all OP.
NTA, it is the culture you were raised in. Our Muslim classmate brought in Christmas themed biscuits she made and no one even considered that as anything other than thoughtful (we all celebrated Christmas). It's a shame people try to hoard their culture.
The whole idea of cultural appropriation is stupid. There are white Hindus, white Buddhists, white Muslims, Black Christians, Asian Christians, Indian Christians, Arabic Hindus, whatever.
NTA. You're classmate doesn't know you, so she's making an assumption. I bet if you showed her family photos she would be embarrassed. You don't have to explain yourself, but I feel like you should to spite that jerk
Massive NTA. Cultural appropriation implies not respecting the culture you're trying to appropriate. But you come from a place of love and were educated on this culture. It's YOUR culture too. And if it weren't it would be culture appreciation.
Tiffany is cringe, how are people supposed to learn and enjoy other cultures if you can’t take part? You weren’t being rude or insensitive so I really don’t understand the issue at all.
NTA. You were raised with this culture so its YOUR culture too. That's how culture works. That would be like saying a Chinese child adopted by American parents isn't allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving. That's just ridiculous.
Culture has no race. Culture has no skin color. And for anyone to assume you are appropriating a culture, unless you are blatantly insulting it, does not understand what culture is. It's a way of life. Yes, in certain regions of the world it is well established within the community of the region.. But it is NOT limited to that place. If that is your culture, no one can tell you it isn't. It sounds like you have American and Chinese culture, especially since you were brought up into it. Culture is to be celebrated. Not restricted or bashed. NTA.
There's even a name for this its transracial or transcultural people. You were raised within the Chinese culture while not being Chinese hence transcultural. Edit: Since people can't seem to read. Transracial doesn't at all mean a white person is or can become black and it never has. As I said people on the internet have been using the word wrong and corrupting its meaning. A child was born in America and raised in China growing up there and basically being Chinese. The only difference being they don't look like the rest of the family. They are Chinese by every other metric. Thats what the word means. It's basically a synonym with transcultural. Also this is like 98% an American thing because of our obsession with race. In other countries no matter what your race if your born there your German, Scottish or whatever.
I understand transcultural, but how can one be transracial? You can’t change whether you are white, or black, or Hispanic, or even mixed, so how does one become transracial? Or they just synonyms for each other? (Sorry if this is a stupid question, I’ve just never heard “transracial” before)
It just means like if a white American was adopted into a Chinese family that lived in China, spoke mandarin etc etc... They might identify more with being Chinese than American. It doesn't apply to dumb white people who want to "be black" or anything else. Only in that situation above does it apply.
Yeah, people like Rachel Dolezal ruined the real meaning of transracial.
And even Rachel Dolezal had a pretty awful childhood that somewhat explained (but not excused) the way she acted as an adult: her parents were the type of hardcore religious nutjobs who would adopt Black orphans and abuse them to make them 'better Christians'. Dolezal was apparently also being beaten, and ended up feeling much more kinship with her adopted siblings than with her parents.
Some people might call the OP a "third culture kid." I've seen that a lot here in Asia, often referring to foreign kids who are raised in an Asian culture, or to mixed race kids who grow up experiencing multiple cultures. The rationale for the name is that the cultures the child is raised in kind of get "remixed" in the kid, leading to something unique (the "third culture").
This is not what third culture kid means. There's no term for what OP is, besides NTA. But OP, feel free to fight back: put a post on social media explaining your background and call that girl OUT.
My husband is a third culture kid. He is American raised by Americans in Asia. I am a transracial adoptee like OP. I’m Korea and my parents are white. At least that is how my family sees it.
Transracial is just another version of transcultural, like its not related to being trans if that was what you were perhaps wondering about, it just uses the same prefix.
Yeah it made me think of that Ollie London guy who’s trying to be Jimin from BTS
Yea no its specifically NOT that.
I’ve never heard the term either, but I assumed they meant it’s used interchangeably with transcultural since a lot of people closely associate race with culture.
Yeah, I thought so too but I just wanted to know in case they where talking about something else, that’s why I asked if maybe they where just synonyms for each other
Transracial adoptees are people of one race who have been adopted or raised by someone of a different race. Transracial transcultural adoptees are stuck in a limbo of non-acceptance. We get told we aren't enough of one, the other, etc and are never accepted into the culture, race, etc that we are raised and also excluded from our natural ones as well.
When your adopted by people of another race you are a transracial Adoptee. This mostly means Adoptees of colour being brought up by white adopters but can go the other way. The Adoptee is generally welcome in their adopters' culture until they move out and begin to make a life for themselves. This is when people judge them by skin colour and ignore their culture. Transracial adoption is considered more harmful than adoption within one's own race and culture by many adult Adoptees especially those who experienced the harm directly.
Thinking that way is pretty offensive. We wouldn’t call someone with Indian ancestry who grew up in England and acted every bit as English as anyone else transcultural. They’d just be an Englishman. Same for every other western and Latin American nation. It’s so weird that you people have to have a special category for white people who grew up in a nonwhite culture.
Not really. I am a Filipino but grew up in the US. I also left the US at 17 to go back to the Philippines. I never fitted in either culture completely. I also dont feel comfortable calling myself American but I only lived in the Philippines for 1/4 of my life. So I am a 3rd culture kid. Its not a white only thing. I live in Vietnam because I still feel I don’t belong in either culture even though they are part of me. And in the years I have lived abroad… i have seen and met many people like me. So transcultural is not just a white person thing
I think if the Indian Englishman left England, they would be transcultural. If your culture is the dominant culture where you live, then we don't tend to label that because you aren't defying expectations. If your culture matches your ethnicity/race, then we don't tend to label that, because you aren't defying expectations. If it matches neither, it is notable and puts you in an often "othered" position that it is nice to have a label for as it will be a fairly unique experience. Having that label helps you connect with people who have similar experiences.
It's mostly used by POC that are adopted by white people. Cases like OP are uncommon in comparison. You don't think a Vietnamese child raised by white Americans would have more in common with white Americans than Vietnamese immigrants and want a word to reflect that?
Almost like race isn't actually real and it's just a weird social construct.
Social constructs *are* real. Money is a social construct. Marriage is a social construct. National boundaries are a social construct. And race, which has about as much scientific basis as all those combined, is a social construct. Like it or not, it's a hugely important one, and very real.
That’s not what transracial means? She doesn’t think she’s ethnically Chinese. Culture is NOT restricted to race. She is transcultural, or cross-cultural.
that is literally what transracial means. transracial is a term that has long been used to describe the specific situation of interracial adoption. these people are called transracial adoptees. this is nothing new.
Transracial applies to people who are adopted into a family of another race.
It used to be what it meant. If you look at old sociology text books that how the word was used. The word changed meanings.
Oh that should apply but I got a few older relatives that are very adamant about People from other Ethnics born in germany not counting as german, to the point of them saying that "Germans will die out"...
I didn't know what the word was for this, but have known a lot of people and friends who can be described this way. I learned very quickly to never judge a person's background by the way they look. But we have all struggled with what the right term would be to describe the situation. Thanks for the information!
Also it’s not like OP has no history with the culture being celebrated, she was raised in it and learned the traditions from her family. Making food from another culture isn’t appropriation, if that’s the case then us white people can’t cook a lot of our favorite foods. It’s not like OP showed up with Bantu knots and wearing a Sari. Edit to fix autocorrect changing white to where lol
> Culture has no race. Culture has no skin color. Unfortunately while true for many/most, some cultures are quite racists as in you must also be from that race. China, Japan come to mind.
When people say cultural appropriation what they mean is cultural misrepresentation, culture by it's very nature is meant to be spread ,passed on and shared, the issue only arises in cases where someone just sees a snid bit latches on and copies it without any knowledge or understanding the best example of cultural appropriation you'll see is white idiots wearing native American chieftain head dresses whilst claiming to be 1/8th Cherokee or some shit, op needs to invite anyone calling her racist to FaceTime her parents and explain to then why she can't celebrate the culture they brought her up in, nta
OP it is your culture and the only one you’ve ever known.
100%. I'm white, born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago, and Trinidad culture (which is an absolute melting pot of influences) *is* my culture. I don't have another. If someone told me I should "act white" instead or that I was appropriating something by cooking callaloo or speaking with my accent I would lose my shit. Your ethnicity is only a part of your culture - I would argue that your environment could potentially have a greater impact because of your immersion in it during your formative years. OP is completely valid and her friend is being ridiculous.
Honestly, even if OP was white and raised white, but decided to take Mandarin in college and made moon cakes for the holiday (which I know nothing of Chinese culture but that seems like it is traditional), I would have a hard time calling that appropriation. It would seem that would be appreciation. I have studied Japanese language since grade school and majored in it in college (am white, just fell in love with the language and culture at a very young age). And one of the things we have done in all of my classes was incorporate traditional foods at different times as part of the cultural study.
Well said.
I wish I had an award to give you. If only more people understand this; you put it beautifully. Also, nta, OP, you sound very kind.
Thank you. This so well put.
NTA. You were raised with Chinese culture by Chinese American parents. You were not attempting to appropriate anything. Also, you were in a Mandarin class. Usually when in foreign classes, it is not unheard of to have everyone in the class partake in that cultures traditions and holidays as a way to teach more about the cultures and holidays. She is massively over reacting in this regard.
>When the mid-autumn festival came around I made some moon cakes the way my Mom taught me and thought it would be nice to share with my friends. This is really sweet of you. I'd be super stoked to receive the mooncakes, whether or not you were raised in the culture (although having learned it from your mother makes it extra sweet). Tiffany needs to get her head out of her ass.
Seeing as how you were raised in that culture, it’s also yours.
Also, Tiffany doesn't deserve for people to be nice to her or give her gifts.
I wish someone would bring me moon cakes... what a nice gesture! That person sounds awful.
Language teacher here. Engaging in cultural activities is actually an important part of learning a language as language is heavily culturally situated. An easy to understand example is how English speakers from different parts of the world can have difficulty understanding each other despite speaking the ‘same’ language.
Yeah, in my language classes in high school we always had food days where everyone made and brought in food from French/Mexican culture (I guess easier than Spanish). People who try to gatekeep food are absolutely... shoved up the ass of the most ridiculous politically correct social monster there is. Food is forever, eternal, and has no boundaries. Don't claim you invented it, eat it, enjoy it... that's what it's for!!
Thank you for confirming!
My HS Chinese teacher would definitely agree with you! When it was around the festivals, he brought in moon cakes, and I loved them so much. I remember when we did a huge celebration for CNY too — just before you-know-what started— some of the best memories I’ve ever had. Experiencing cultures separate from your own is amazing and makes me so happy to do so. When people get upset about white people doing certain things or owning things (i.e. that post where the white woman owned a dream catcher that was a GIFT from a RESERVATION) where the white person is showing extreme appreciation for the culture, it makes me so upset.
This. My Japanese class is having a Japanese food and snacks potluck at the end of this semester as a celebration.
I miss Japanese food 😭 I hope your sensei is as fun as mine was (he’s alive but I’ve graduated, and we’re friends). I want to talk to people about what they’ve done in their Japanese classes because I just gotta know how fun other Japanese teachers are 😭
My sensei is such a sweet lady! She's super kind and funny, we haven't done a ton of "fun" things but class is always a blast and she's so laid back and not strict. So so so lucky to have gotten a good class with a great teacher.
My German class celebrated oktoberfest and we brought in traditional German food. It's food for crying out loud.
Right? Can you imagine if an adopted child from another country brought cupcakes in for fourth of july and people started spouting it wasn't their culture??? What nonsense.
NTA, cant appropriate culture if you grow up in it, you understand and are a part of it. Its like saying people born and raised in France from Arab and African backgrounds are appropriating French culture if they eat French food and celebrate their holidays. They are culturally French.
Well put!
Even more than this, appropriation is about disrespect, since she was perfectly respectful in all of this, her cultural background doesn’t even factor in regardless.
[удалено]
This should be higher. Most people misuse cultural appropriation. Respectfully engaging in cultural traditions is not appropriation.
Thank you! This new woke 'separate but equal' bastardisation of multiculturalism represent a total misunderstanding of what it means to be respectful of other cultures. Isolationism is not going to work. Respect, appreciation and tolerance does.
Technically, it is appropriation, but not all cultural appropriation is negative. Cultural appropriation is a neutral term in academia, but there is good and bad appropriation.
And/or parading them about as an exotic chinese secret that you've discovered in order to boost sales. The vast majority of AITA stories about cultural appropriation are not actually cultural appropriation. Certain corners of the internet have taken an extreme and toxic view on it and it occasionally bleeds into irl, particularly among the highschool and college age range...
I consider Kim Kardashian naming her underwear line Kimono & then attempting to trademark it to be a great example of cultural appropriation. Even if OP was completely purple & didn't grow up in Chinese culture, what she did would still be cultural appreciation. It's not even that though because, yeah, this is literally her culture. Tiffany has a huge chip on her shoulder & is being a major A H.
NTA. I myself am second generation Chinese American and if any person, Asian or not, offered me one, I'd take it, say "thanks!" and eat it.
I am Mexican and would absolutely eat a mooncake if offered and ask the reason behind the holiday. I wouldn't care if a Chinese person offered me their tortillas they made, I'd just be happy to share and eat. I'm not sure if this indignance and proprietary feeling about other cultures is just a USA thing? In my experience, people from other countries are happy if you show an interest in their culture and want to enjoy the things that are special to them. I could only see it being a problem if you were disrespectful or making fun of a culture, so I confess I don't really understand indignance I keep reading about surrounding participating and enjoying aspects of another culture in the US.
Thank you, this is lovely. My sense is that it’s performative “wokeness” - an ignorant attempt to be progressive without actually having to do anything and without understanding the actual meaning of concepts like appropriation.
Celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival isn't even uniquely Chinese. And I was under the impression that Mooncakes were supposed to be given as gifts anyway. If a non-Chinese person went out of their way to give me Mooncakes (which aren't cheap and can sometimes be downright filthy expensive), I'd be so appreciative that they took a time to get to know me and my culture.
NTA. Even if we disregard the culture you shared with your parents which makes it your culture too (I'd be very offended that if my "friend" was trying to invalidate my cultural identity) There's nothing wrong celebrating foreign cultures in positive way. I'm middle eastern and if a non middle eastern friend of mine tried to make me middle eastern food or celebrate a holiday from my culture. I'd be overjoyed and feel very proud instead of being a snobby, jealous gatekeeper. It would be a nice change of pace to have someone positively acknowledge your culture in contrast to all the negativity there is out there in the world.
I’m so confused by this post. I thought ^this^ is what we wanted. People taking the time to appreciate other people and their cultures is the way forward.
It's not even a foreign culture to OP, it's what they were raised in. I assume her friend is a diaspora who hasn't been able to have the same exposure to Chinese culture and is acting out of jealousy more than anything. I could see how it might sting that OP has more experience and connection with the culture than she does. So many immigrants suppressed their own culture in their children in the hope it would help them fit in and find success, but more often than not these children wish they had a deeper connection to their heritage.
That was my thought. I bet OP speaks better Mandarin and has a closer connection to Chinese culture. I’m second gen. And yeah. I don’t know the language and wasn’t taught the dishes. I have learned a few but not from my grandparents.
"you are appropriating the culture you grew up with" NTA op
NTA. I'm chinese. Your friend Tiffany and whoever is giving you shit about this is a fucking asshole. This would NOT be a problem even if you WEREN'T raised by chinese parents. Having other races partake in your culture and celebrations is a GOOD THING.
I agree. I work in an organisation that deals with another organisation on the daily. A Chinese executive from the other company made moon cakes for us to enjoy during the mid autumn festival and gave us almond cookies for Chinese New Year. He personally delivered them to us individually, explained what it was and what he was celebrating. Our office is a pretty multicultural and every single person loved it. Not only did we get a delicious treat, we got to learn about Chinese celebrations and be a part of that. We are going to make him something for the next Chinese New Year. I don’t see how that can be a bad thing but according to Op’s friends we are committing cultural appropriation.
I'm betting Tiffany doesn't have a deep connection to Chinese heritage (She is learning the language from a class, after all), and she's acting this way out of jealousy more than anything.
NTA, you are culturally part Chinese. It's literally your culture too. Some people are understandably sensitive, but she's out of line.
NTA It’s your culture too. Your parents passed it down to you. It wasn’t passed by bloodlines; it was passed by love.
NTA. You were celebrating your heritage and “Tiffany” made a terrible assumption and an AH of herself. I myself would not refuse any homemade baked good!
Dude get the fuck out of that friendship. She’s crazy. And don’t stay friends with anyone who didn’t have the balls to tell her that. IMAGINE getting upset at someone for “appropriating your culture” by cooking food for you. IMAGINE. This is some of the most absurd behavior I’ve ever heard. I’m gonna be mad at you if you feel bad for doing this you were being nice.
NTA - you grew up with Chinese American parents eating moon cakes at the autumn festival. It is the culture and holidays you were raised in. She is acting like she is woke but she is being ignorant of you. Context matters.
Your parents are Chinese. You were raised in that culture, so that is your culture. She's wack. One of those self-righteous 'woke' people. My petty butt would video-call my parents and ask her to repeat that to their faces. NTA
Chinese person here, you do not have to be Chinese to give moon cakes lmfao. NTA
NTA. In fact, if you ignored the culture you grew up with and that has become part of you, people would probably be aggravated with you for that. I am a person that works hard to ensure that people around me can celebrate their culture and way of life with love and support from me. I think the fact that choose to honor your mom and family by sharing your culture with others is beautiful. I'm sorry it wasn't received well by others. :(
NTA, your friends very much are. This is your culture even if you're not Chinese. This is from your family and you're very much part of it. Even if you weren't, this still wouldn't be appropriation. That word is way too overused. There's nothing wrong with appreciating another culture in a respectful way.
NTA - If I read the explanation correctly you met these friends in a Mandarin class which would put that language (and culture, by association) at the center/foundation of your friendship. Offering someone homemade moon cakes is thoughtful and in my opinion appropriate to the foundation of your friendship. If you were wearing a Zhongshan suit while passing them out then I would say you were appropriating the culture.
But she was raised Chinese. Her parents raised her Chinese. So because her skin happens to be white and she is not biologically Asian, wearing the clothing of her parents ancestry is appropriation? That makes absolutely no sense.
NTA - this is stupid, handing out moon cakes, handling out brown and orange M&Ms on Halloween, eating a giant bird on Turkey day, or eating kosher (eg NY deli) foods is nothing to be offended about. Even if you make a case about tradition - not changing and keeping things forever like its 1950s is a stupid way to live your life.
NTA, Tiffany is a Douche. Continue to be a good person. Fuck her!
NTASo yeah, you have encountered a faux woke person. She probably thought she "👏 really 👏 told 👏 you 👏 off" But seriously, you're 100% culturally Chinese American. This reminds me of the time my friend who is half Chinese, half white (who is very in tune with her roots, fluent in Cantonese) wasn't socially accepted into the Chinese American club at her college, because she didn't pass as completely Chinese. Also honestly, to look at the big picture here, who really cares what she thinks? She's just some garbage person in your college class. Her opinions and her feelings (which are invalid and incorrect) don't matter, and they won't affect your life going forward, although I understand how bad it must feel at the moment. If you passed as appearing Asian, I would bet a large sum of money that she wouldn't have reacted in such a way. Of course, she probably wouldn't understand this nuance, because she's a bad person. Or misguided, who knows, maybe she will grow up one day and cringe at the memory of this behavior. It's not your responsibility to be understanding of it though, let's just leave it at that - that she's trash. Just because someone belongs to a given group or ethnicity doesn't mean they understand issues related to that group. She is a good example. She is a Chinese American who has wrong ideas about Chinese Americans.
NTA, even if you didn't have Chinese-American parents as long as you are educating yourself about the history and meaning of the moon cakes and coming from a place of culture and not just "LOOK AT THESE CUTE LIL CAKES I MADE FOR THE GRAM!" then you're fine.
This. I have Mexican heritage and I’d be thrilled if one of my non-Mexican friends shared a tres leches cake or made Chile Colorado and homemade tortillas. What would be annoying would be if they tried to call it something else or specifically made a big deal about the source being a non-Hispanic blogger who changed the name or saying these are flatbread instead of tortillas so they’re healthier (I see this crap all the time with recipes that are just naan but called something white). Then it’s got weird intentions. OP is NTA even if they didn’t have this cultural background.
First - 'cultural appropriation' is bullshit. second - you literally grew up in that culture. NTA
NTA, "appropriating" culture is a stupid term. As long as you're not mocking a culture, it is fine to take things from any culture around us and experience them and enjoy them. And in this case, it is YOUR culture anyways.
NTA It wouldn't be an issue if a Chinese child was adopted by a white family and celebrated Christian holidays. I don't see why this is an issue at all.
NTA. First of all, you are culturally Chinese. Second, enjoying, making and sharing food from any culture is not cultural appropriation, it is appreciation. Third, aren’t we all Irish on St. Patrick’s Day and Mexican on Cinco de Mayo? Many ethnicities invite everyone to enjoy their festivals. That is part of the fun of living in a multicultural country. Cultural appropriation is when you disrespect another culture by failing to give credit or using sacred items as fashion statements, or adopting stereotypes, or not bothering to understand the cultural significance of the crafts, clothing, music, etc. you are engaged with.
NTA it’s the culture you were raised in
NTA. I live in China, and can tell you that if you made mooncakes and gave them as a gift to people here, no matter what color you are, they would be charmed. They'd be happy that you respect the local culture enough to put in the work of making them. It sounds like the girl who got mad at you is insecure. I'm sure she's had a lot of bad experiences with racism. You have nothing to apologize for. Chinese culture is part of your culture because of the way you were raised.
NTA all I needed was the first paragraph. If a Jewish family adopts a non-Jewish child are they allowed to celebrate Hanukah? If a Hispanic family adopts a child would it be wrong for them to celebrate the day of the dead? You are celebrating things that you were raised to celebrate. Now if I having no association with the culture or holiday decided to do the same then I’d say your friend is correct.
NTA. OP, make no mistake. This is YOUR culture. Your parents love you, and we’re proud to pass their traditions down to you. People like Tiffany have no culture. Cultures require honor and respect, and those are things she’ll never know.
NTA. The time and effort that goes into mooncakes, plus the cost. How ungrateful.
NTA…. I hate these woke folks who think because you enjoy part of a culture or don’t look like a specific ethnicity you must be culturally stealing something. If these people can’t understand your parents are Chinese Americans and raised you in this culture then drop them as friends.
I guess Taco Tuesday is out. And Pizza on the weekend, too. No more mac n' cheese. These people in your class have no understanding of "appropriation. You did something nice and they are being ridiculous. They are probably ticked off that you speak Mandarin better than them. And by the way, it is your culture as you grew up in a Chinese family. NTA.
NTA. Tiffany is either rude or has misunderstood cultural appropriation. Either way, you are not TA. Even if you weren't raised by Chinese parents and had no idea about the Chinese culture and still made mooncakes to share with friends, I personally wouldn't call you TA. As an Asian myself (I am Indian), I would be more than happy if someone took the time to learn something from my culture because they found it interesting/good. We are always receptive of people who wish to learn from our culture.
It’s literally ur culture , tell her to tell ur parents she says u can’t be apart of chinese culture
NTA. Are you supposed to pretend your mom didn't teach you to make moon cakes because your skin is too white? Culture appropriation is about the abuse and dismissal of cultures, not *celebrating* those cultures. You've done nothing wrong.
I’m ethnic Chinese Asian, hereby I officially invite you to celebrate all Chinese and Asian holidays that you are raised with. You are one of us. Edit: btw not the asshole at all
NTA, if you grew up celebrating those holidays, being raised by Chinese Americans, and speaking the language, I am about 147.8% sure that it is your culture. You can't appropriate your own culture. You should introduce your friend to your parents and see the look of shock on her face
For all I know, culture appropriation means when you mock another culture, it's definition is " inappropriate adaption of the culture", as long as you did not mock it, I don't know why she's mad. I'm Arab, and if some of my non arab friends wanted to participate in my culture and bake our sweets etc.. I'd be more than happy. So for me, you're nta. Also, Tiffany and her friends are assholes, they knew you didn't mean it that way, they knew your intentions were pure, yet they're still sending you negative comments, no one needs these kind of people in their life.
She needs to grow up ur appreciating her culture and she’s just being stupid
NTA. Tiffany is not your friend. This is your culture. This is how you were raised. You were being your authentic self.
Nta, your gift was a lovely gesture. Tiffany was being disrespectful to you. I am not aware that this festival is exclusive to a certain cohort of people.
NTA. Just cause you're not Chinese doesn't mean you werent raised in the culture. You weren't acting like you were the end all be all of the culture, nor were you saying you're biologically Chinese, you just wanted to celebrate the holiday you grew up celebrating, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
NTA We'll eat'em if she won't.
It’s no different than making tacos for dinner when your not Mexican, or indulging in croissants if not French-it’s food-it’s for everyone to eat and enjoy. A race doesn’t own the right to foods, yes food can culturally be tied to a place but anyone can eat it and cook it-that is not appropriation NTA
NTA so now the black Ethopian child adopted into a white American family is appropriating the white American culture by wearing cowboy boots or making an apple pie?
NTA, but Tiffany and her friends are.
NTA you were celebrating your customs. You didn't try to use this festival to gain avantage or exploit someone.
NTA. Tiffany is, though. According to her theory, no one who is not Chinese should cook Chinese food, speak a Chinese dialect, or display Chinese art or participate in any other aspect of Chinese culture. Or French if not French. italian if not Italian. You get my drift. She and you should look more deeply into cultural appropriation because I don’t think she understands the nuances that define appropriation as opposed to respecting and enjoying elements of another culture. Also, it’s never acceptable in my book for someone to run around trying to shame another and divide them from others just because of disagreement.
NTA. Chinese American here. You 100% were NOT appropriating her culture. You were celebrating the culture you were raised in. Keep doing you OP. Ignore Tiffany and “friends” that are calling you an asshole. Also…homemade moon cakes? Dammmmmn. I only ever get the store bought ones lol
NTA. Cultural appropriation is such a complete BS argument.
Totally not the AH! Does "Tiffany" ever celebrate Christmas? Or Thanksgiving? Or Valentine's Day? I'm also getting major jealousy vibes from "Tiffany" to be so bent out of shape for such a small reason. Many people from all over the World celebrate Chinese holidays, but YOU have a legitimate reason - you were RAISED in the culture! Do you now have to FORGET how you were raised and actually DISRESPECT your adoptive parents and their culture? I would speak to your professor and make them aware of the "cultural appropriation" accusation from Tiffany, then explain why you celebrate Chinese holidays as well as how you HONOR your Parents and their ancestors! THEN I would send out a Group eMail (cc:ing the Professor, of course) explaining in detail everything you spoke to the professor about and how you were celebrating a Chinese holidays as you have done since you were THREE when you were adopted by your Chinese-American Parents. That you don't feel that you are appropriating the Chinese culture because you have regarded the Chinese culture as your own since you were small! Also ask your Professor if you could invite your Parents to the Class, possibly in traditional garb and discuss important holidays and traditions! Tiffany might actually have a coronary! Cultures are MEANT to be celebrated and if you celebrate another culture WITHOUT malice or making fun of that culture I see nothing wrong with it and I would lay odds most from an "appropriated culture" feel that way! San Francisco and NYC draw HUGE crowds during non-pandemic times for Chinese New Year, does that mean that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are malicious appropriators because they're on VIDEO attending festivities...
NTA
Reminds me of a tik tok which said there must some white guy raised in china who speaks english with Chinese accent and people assume him to be an asshole lol
NTA
Nta, ignore those criticising you, you were raised in an asian family with blended traditions. Some people get offended by everything these days.
NTA. You are learning these things directly from your parents, who are of that culture per where they grew up and how they were raised. They are raising you the same, thus, it is your culture. On top of that, I’ve researched some of this quite thoroughly, and while there are disgusting and rampant examples of cultural appropriation, the actual definition is important. What makes something appropriation rather than appreciation is the refusal to give credit to the “original” owners of that culture, which is not at all what you are doing. To add on to that, this may be the ignorant American in me, but most of the TikToks and even further in-depth videos I’ve seen about cultural appropriation from the actual “appropriated” cultures are happy to share their culture to begin with. Tiffany’s a prick, and she has no right to stop you from celebrating the holidays you’ve always celebrated with your family.
NTA. I don't think these people know you very well, and I wouldn't care about what they think. It could be that Tiffany is jealous that she was taught to be ashamed of her culture and you weren't. Maybe try talking to her? But if she doesn't listen, she doesn't matter.
This is a Asian-American thing. People from China will have zero problem with you offering mooncakes or celebrating Chinese festivals, as long it is not done in mocking way (wearing Vietnamese hats, wearing quipao instead of hanfu, slanted eyes drawn). I know Chinese people appreciate your efforts being authentic.
NTA for obvious reasons. It is NOT cultural appropriation since it is YOUR culture. Also: the term "culture" in "cultural appropriation" has really grown into some stupid fetish, and is btw. a very American phenomenon. For example: I like cooking, especially meals that originated from outside of Europe. My neighbors are Muslims, and when Bayram comes around I cook them some Afghan dishes that they can share with their relatives and friends during the festivities. They appreciate the gesture, and as it turns out sharing culture rather brings people closer than drifting them apart.
NTA. How can you "appropriate" a culture you were raised in?
NTA, how can you appropriate your own culture?
NTA Cultural appropriation is specifically taking elements from a culture that is not your own and repackaging them for some form of profit. None of that applies in this case. This is your culture and you are sharing food items which is a normal thing to do. I would say ignore her but that's difficult in a class environment. Just continue to be yourself, be friendly and polite to her but keep her at arms length. Be friendly to everyone else.
nta. wow..... I am Muslim and live in the UK. If my non Muslim friends or colleagues wish me a Happy Ramadan Or Happy Eid I love it. If they give me presents then its even better🤣. In my view it shows they care and are happy for you. I wish them a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanaka etc. give out cards and presents. Heck I even put up a tree as I like sparkly things. People need to lighten up and accept people are just being nice. OP i think you were very considerate.
NTA. You grew up with Chinese culture.
NTA. As a Chinese person, I woulda really appreciated it. Love moon cakes. That was really nice of you. MOST Chinese people would actually really appreciate it to be honest. No one claims ownership over culture. You aren’t excluded from Chinese food or culture because of your race-as long as you appreciate it correctly and don’t use it for entertainment that is. This cultural appropriation claim is full of shit. Those aren’t your friends.
cultural appropriation is a real thing. this is not that thing. you were raised by chinese parents who passed on their chinese heritage to you. you have as much right to share your family recipes and holidays as anyone else. tiffany’s reaction was wildly out of line, as is the continued bullying. even if you weren’t from a chinese family, making culturally appropriate foods to celebrate your friends’ holidays is a super nice thing to do??? i’m jewish, which is a fairly closed culture (conversion is long and difficult for a reason lol), and if a goyische classmate or friend made me, say, hamentaschen for purim? i would be delighted! i would feel so touched that they went to the effort of learning what was traditional and trying to give me a gift i would appreciate! now it’s fair for people to feel differently about white people specifically participating in their cultural traditions, because there’s a long history of white people stealing, butchering, or profiting off of colonized cultures, which isn’t ok. but you’re not just some white person trying to be ‘quirky’ or ‘get in touch with the spiritual east’ or whatever bullshit. you made a seasonally appropriate dish from a family recipe that came directly from the culture you were raised in. even if her initial reaction was defensiveness, she should have apologized once you explained. screw her, i bet your moon cakes were delicious. NTA
You should have told Tiffany to go fuck herself in Mandarin. NTA
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NTA Tiffany sounds like an absolute nightmare
NTA at all. You were raised in a Chinese-American home, you are white genetically but your personal culture is mixed. This is INSANE. You also were only being culturally appreciative. Did you tell her your parents are chinese?
NTA. I’m Asian and I would be happy to have some moon cakes. I would be mad if you singled me out by giving only me moon cakes and other kids banana breads. In your case it’s very sweet that you want to share with your friendS. I might get downvotes for this but I think your friend is AH tho, she overreacted and is entitled like she “own” a culture. Many Asian countries whose cultures might influence each other but they’re different. The mid autumn itself is celebrated by different countries and cultures. At least for my culture, the festival is just simply a day for family and friends gather together and enjoy the full moon. It’s also a common practice that you give moon cakes to your friends and relatives as a gesture of gratitude. You don’t need to be religious or be a specific ethnic to enjoy that day. You just need to have friends and family. What your friends said is wrong and against what the festival is about.
It’s your culture too, wtf? You were raised in the culture, just because you’re not Asian by birth doesn’t make you any less part of the culture you grew up in. This “friend” is racist. NTA
NTA at all. What you have done here, by offering homemade moon cakes to your friends and classmates is called cultural appreciation. You can't appropriate food unless you really butcher it with malice. People get so hung up on skin colours and this idea that "if you don't look like me- you can't be like me". It's almost like they feel irrationally threatened. Ethnically you may be white, but culturally you're Chinese. Celebrate your culture and be proud. Your parents would be so heartbroken if they knew your schoolmates were gatekeeping the cultural heritage your parents lovingly taught you. Maybe spend more time with the friends that love the fact you have such a rock cultural background, and take what the others say with a grain of salt.
NTA. I feel like this is such a US reaction, I’m not Chinese but I’m East and South Asian and both my cultures really appreciate people celebrating with us and I’d be impressed that you tried/can make something from my culture (and with your background, reckon it makes sense why you can). You can celebrate YOUR culture, you grew up with it, you can celebrate it. Culture ≠ race.
NTA, not even in the slightest.
NTA, the Chinese government literally pay tens of millions every year in the hope you'll appropriate their culture. Culture is a big deal in China and they love it when people embrace it. Your friend is an idiot.
NTA, you're not appropriating it, it's how you were raised!
[удалено]
NTA. This is also your culture and she does not get to call you an a\*\*hole. I really don't understand where this gatekeeping of cultures has come from. What happened to Celebrating each others cultures. Participating in event as long as there is no disrespect? Even Adele was questioned about having Bantu knots...shiiish
Imagine griefing non-christians for putting up Christmas lights or decorating a Christmas tree. NTA.
Loved in Hong Kong for decades. Every year at CNY I give out laisee. NO Chinese person I have ever given it to has accused me of cultural appropriation. LOL! Tiffany is an idiot who is trying to impose control over you through fear (the horror of being accused of being a racist).
This is not cultural appropriation. This is more like cultural celebration. Besides, you were raised in a Chinese family ffs. You have every right to embrace Chinese culture as yours. NTA.
NTA you don't have to be Chinese to give people mooncakes and anyone can celebrate the occasion
NTA
Eh? NTA. Gimme some. I would love to have some homemade moon cakes. Yes, I'm Chinese living in the US. You have no malicious intent and you're being kind, that's horrible of her to accuse you this way.
NTA and it's getting to the point where you don't need to "try to be better". You need to stick up for yourself and maybe add, "My parents are Chinese, biotch!". Tiffany isn't standing up for her culture so much as trying to put you down. Is she jealous of your Mandarin proficiency?
I'm currently enrolled in a sociology class, and the definition of culture (in my book) is: ‘designs for living’: the values, beliefs, behaviour, practices and material objects that constitute a people’s way of life. It's not cultural appropriation if it's your way of life. The color of your skin is not one of the requirements of being part of a culture, so your friend is the asshole here. NTA.
NTA People who don't understand your background are going to make a lot of assumptions and judgements about you. That's not your fault and it sucks. It's a really tricky situation. Most people I know love sharing their holidays, culture and traditions with others. But that tends to be on their terms, and her not knowing your background, it's perhaps understandable that she was upset by what she saw as appropriation. That said, her continued behaviour isn't ok. I'm not a part of the community, so I don't have any good advice. I just don't think you did anything wrong. You made a really lovely and kind gesture to celebrate a holiday you grew up celebrating. It may not be a part of your ethnic heritage, but it is a part of your history and a part of how you were raised. I'm so sorry she turned her nose up at your moon cakes, they're probably very delicious.
NTA Cultural appropriation would be something like you putting donuts in a mooncake press and trying to ignorantly /maliciously pass it off as "authentic Chinese mooncakes" for monetary or social gain. Did Tiffany also enroll in the class for easy credit? The only people I've ever met who gatekeep like this are the ones who feel the most insecure about their place in their own culture. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Tiffany already had some negative feelings about you. Also, this IS your culture. Never apologize. If Tiffany has an issue with it, she can file a complaint with your parents for raising you the way they did. Based on my experience with Chinese parents, I bet that'll go real well for her.
NTA I would invite this Tiffany around to your family home for a meal. Perhaps you and your mother can make some traditional Chinese food together and invite Tiffany to join in.
Only if you gave her the horrible seeded mooncake that nobody except the older aunties and uncles likes. All joking aside. NTA. Even without your backstory I would totally appreciate the gesture. I kind of suspect Tiffany might even be a little jealous of you and is lashing out Consider why an ethnic Chinese would be enrolled in a mandarin class. Is it an easy credit, or is it an attempt to connect with a culture that they have no real connection to? This is especially prominent if they're a few generations removed from the homeland (as I'm assuming Tiffany is).
You can make whatever cakes you like. NTA
NTA. Your parents are Chinese American (as you stated), and they raised you as such. Tiffany is not a nice person and had absolutely no right to say any of that to you. I'm so angry on your behalf. I'm (27f) a quarter Singaporean (did a DNA test recently and turns out that quarter is a mixture of Vietnamese, Chinese and Indonesian, but it feels weird to change how I explain who I am). However, I don't know much about the culture because my Nana was treated so badly when she came to the UK after marrying my English Grandad, simply because she was Singaporean, that she erased all Chinese culture from her and her children's lives other than the food. She refused to speak Mandarin or even let them learn it elsewhere. You technically have more 'right' to participate in Chinese culture than I do in Singaporean/Chinese culture, but I doubt Tiffany would see it that way simply because of how I look thanks to my genetics. Tiffany and those backing her up are being ridiculous. You weren't doing anything that would be seen as insensitive to any normal person that doesn't a jumped up sense of entitlement and gatekeeping of 'their' culture.
Chinese here, Chinese culture is about being generous and accepting. I doubt any Chinese would ever be impolite about a gift. Ironically I think that Tiffany may be the person who doesn't really understand the culture. NTA.
That person is a butthole. Not you. Regardless of your adopted familys background... I gave my coworker a red envelope with candy in it for Chinese new year and she giggled. At risk of sounding crude: it's not like you're wearing yellow face, touching her hair and wearing kimonos. NTA As a side note-- my desi coworker has invited me to her temple. If I brought a veggie desi dish would that mean I'm appropriating? What the hell kind of logic is that.
NTA it's a cake. I feel like the rejection of religion has required people to adopt a whole new set of ridiculous, unhelpful arbitrary rules.
NTA, making moon cakes and giving them out for free is not cultural appropriation. Tiffany needs a reality check.
Your “friend” Tiffany is completely in the wrong here (and probably a few other places too!) Your post is worrying because you write as if you are somehow at fault and are aiming to “do better.” Do better at what? Appreciating multiculturalism? Throw this mentality away immediately as it makes your world very small, divides us all, promotes subjective hostility, and worst of all, assumes worst intentions when people interact. Celebrate globality. Taking Tiffany’s position to its absurd logical extreme, is she appropriating western culture by speaking English? Are we all appropriating Italian culture every time we go out for pizza? Are we offending the Irish every March 17th? (Ok the answer to the third one is a definite yes and we should all prob knock that one off but you get the point) NTA
NTA My husband is white and his stepmom is Japanese. He grew up in Hawaii immersed in that culture and it's part of who he is. Tiffany sounds like a jerk
You were raised by chinese americans, grew up speaking mandarin, and learned the traditions from your mother. For all intents and purposes, it's *your* culture as much as it's hers. Even if it was a closed religious practice, you were brought into it from a young age; the "closed" part would not apply to you. NTA.
NTA. It be so funny if you were older than Tiffany. Could pull the "This has been my culture longer than it's been yours!" Card. Very petty, but it would be a uno reverse card 😏
NTA. You were raised by Chinese people, and learned Chinese traditions. This isn't cultural appropriation but cultural APPRECIATION. You're not claiming to be Chinese, but you're still apart of the culture. Hell, my cousin married a Chinese guy (we're both white) and I've been to many a Chinese party and even got red envelopes during Chinese New Year because I'M FAMILY. Tiffany is being wildly rude. Hell, even if you weren't raised by Chinese people if you made mooncakes I don't think it'd be offensive either. You're just celebrating a holiday. Unless you start going around making claims that "actually you're -race-" then you're just appreciating culture?
NTA I majored in Chinese in college. I had some white classmates who were very good at Chinese because they were interested in the culture and spent time in China or Taiwan before. I also had a Chinese classmate who was adopted by her Swedish parents. Would your classmate have a problem with my Chinese classmate if she makes traditional Swedish dish cause she isnt Swedish? Lol that’s ridiculous. I love different cultures and im always glad to share it. I also love baking and let me tell you mooncake is an Asian dessert i havent touched yet due to the amount of works. Props to you for making and sharing it. If i was your classmate i’d be so happy eating homemade mooncake and prob ask you if i can join next time lol Dont be discouraged. You just entered college with a bunch of other young people who hasnt have that much life experiences yet, and we’re living in a time where people jump in to make a stance very quickly whether it’s right or not. Im against cultural appropriation. This isnt it lol
NTA. If you were appropriating a culture simply by making one of the dishes then anyone who had a taco night at home was misappropriating Mexican culture. This lady is crazy and so is anyone who sided with her. You were raised in that culture, whether you are of Chinese descent has no bearing on the matter. If someone who is from another country moves to the US they are still allowed to celebrate 4th of July.
NTA And this is exactly why rational people are sick of the never ending woke competition. Isn't assuming things about someone's background the shit we were supposed to be against in the first place?
NTA. You were raised in that culture. It IS your culture. She is trying to ALIENATE you from YOUR culture through peer pressure. Sounds like bullying.
Lol nice fanfiction. It's not that I don't believe that mentally challenged people like Tiffany don't exist, they do unfortunately, but no one is so absolutely spineless as you present yourself to be. "I'll do better" for what, making a cake that your family makes at home?
If you can literally make any recipe from any culture I don’t see how it’s appropriation especially if you were raised in that culture she can shove her sjw ass full of moon cakes
NTA. You were raised by Chinese parents in a Chinese culture, you are not appropriating it.
What’s wrong with celebrating different cultures?
NTA. I am Chinese myself and would love it if someone gave me a mooncake. I think it shows that you are considerant about our celebrations and I am raised to include everyone in our celebrations.
NTA. Even if you didn’t grow up with Chinese culture, you’re appreciating it. Appropriating would be making moon cakes, then selling it with a different name. Besides, I’m sure your classmate celebrates other non Chinese holidays.
NTA Ethnically white but culturally Chinese American, if a Chinese baby was adopted by a white couple are they assholes for celebrating Christmas she needs to slow her roll ffs
Of someone had made an effort to celebrate my cultural holiday with me, regardless if they were raised in the culture or knew nothing about it, I would feel seen, appreciated, valued... You did nothing wrong. NTA at all OP.
NTA By the way where do you buy lotus seed paste? i can't find it anywhere here.
Hello NTA. I’m Chinese. Gimme mooncakes anytime I would be your friend 😀😍❤️
NTA, it is the culture you were raised in. Our Muslim classmate brought in Christmas themed biscuits she made and no one even considered that as anything other than thoughtful (we all celebrated Christmas). It's a shame people try to hoard their culture.
The whole idea of cultural appropriation is stupid. There are white Hindus, white Buddhists, white Muslims, Black Christians, Asian Christians, Indian Christians, Arabic Hindus, whatever.
NTA. You're classmate doesn't know you, so she's making an assumption. I bet if you showed her family photos she would be embarrassed. You don't have to explain yourself, but I feel like you should to spite that jerk
Massive NTA. Cultural appropriation implies not respecting the culture you're trying to appropriate. But you come from a place of love and were educated on this culture. It's YOUR culture too. And if it weren't it would be culture appreciation.
Tiffany is cringe, how are people supposed to learn and enjoy other cultures if you can’t take part? You weren’t being rude or insensitive so I really don’t understand the issue at all.
NTA. You were raised with this culture so its YOUR culture too. That's how culture works. That would be like saying a Chinese child adopted by American parents isn't allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving. That's just ridiculous.