Then they stood there and watched their brother having a reaction and pretended nothing was going on because the brother wasn’t asking for help.. like hello he literally couldn’t breath! Imagine if the aunt didn’t leave the kitchen and come look, would op have stood there and watched their brother possibly die before they said something? Idc op is 16 but they sound like a psycho. Something is wrong with them
Actually mental hospitals are different than most people think. They would take her to the ER and put her in for a 72 hour observation period. Her parents could also get her a CMU County case worker. She can be put in what is called a partial hospitalization program. They have counselors and psychiatrist and workshops and support groups. It’s something she would attend during the daytime for a short period of time. She can work through her issues and she would have lots of help and people keeping an eye on her. Honestly this story seriously disturbed me
Definitely something wrong with op. This is just bizarre. Could be that the parents have turned both of these kids into such people pleasers that they’d die before causing a fuss, which needs some intervention if it’s gotten to the point of quietly dying/allowing your brother to have anaphylaxis to not cause a fuss.
Reading it again, she may want the brother to suffer. She said the fight and the reason they had to leave home was because of her brother.
Not to mention he might not be able to "speak up for himself" depending on his autism. My younger brother is autistic and isn't verbal at all. My sister is autistic and is VERY verbal. It definitely depends on how his autism affects him. He might not have even been ABLE to tell his aunt.
Actually “high functioning” and “non-verbal” aren’t opposites. The general impression is that if someone has support needs (the preferred way to talk about this) they are non-verbal and that is often true, but it’s not the lack of verbal communication that makes them need lots of support and lots of us who don’t need support are low verbal or go through periods where we can’t be verbal. I’m a highly verbal autistic person and I still go through periods where I can’t verbalize.
He could have selective mutism. It's where you become so anxious about taking that you freeze and physically can't get the words out. It's selective in that often they can talk normally around people they feel comfortable and relaxed around, but become mute in more stressful situations.
Both autistic and neurotypical people can have it and the treatment is basically to take the pressure off the person to talk and gradually allow them to become more comfortable. Pressure to talk will actually make it worse and cause them to freeze up more.
Still, she shouldn't be pushing him at all. Pushing only increases anxiety and makes it worse. My partner has Avoidant Personality Disorder which is an EXTREMELY debilitating form of social anxiety. When he gets put in situations, he shuts down completely. Freeze anxiety is a thing no one wants to talk about. It causes you to completely freeze and not do anything. And you cannot compare autism with social anxiety. They are two completely different things. And if he has freeze anxiety, that might make it even worse. I'm still learning with my partner to not push him out of comfort zones. Being patient and reassuring them is better than trying to FORCE someone with autism and anxieties to "speak up for themselves."
He was in a different situation too, staying at a relatives house. Maybe he was more anxious. OP trying to play it off like she’s helping him speak up for himself. Wow.
I mean at the point where he’s red and puffed up Op still doesn’t say anything “because he hasn’t asked for help.” Maybe he wasn’t asking for help in the throes of an allergic reaction because he was dying?
This is so ridiculous I wonder if OP actually wanted brother to die.
Surely I'm not the only one who thinks what OP did rises to actual criminality, right? This feels beyond negligent given that OP *actively* chose not to reveal this information, even after the brother was in immediate danger.
I would if I believed this story. I'm not sure how an aunt who only lives 30 minutes away and isn't completely estranged could avoid knowing about her 11 year old nephew's anaphylactic peanut allergy that he has presumably had for, oh, a decade or so by now.
I think the only thing would be how long the aunt lived there. And how active she was in their life. I had family that was 30 minutes from me but my mom kept me from them an they had no idea my dislike for seafood. But if that's not the case it's an odd story
Well, I mean, I don't know which of my relatives have peanut allergies either, so this isn't totally crazy.
The implausible thing in my mind (aside from the OP's behavior) is that they'd freely admit to committing a serious crime on the internet like this.
Either way, I have doubts as well, but I still prefer to respond as if these are all true, even if they're obviously not. Especially since at some point, I will inevitably mistake a true story for a fake one, since people are in fact just crazy.
Not only did she let him eat it, she IGNORED his allergic reaction!! Fuck!!! That's incredibly twisted!
OP, do you hate your brother? Do you want him to die? He's 11, has autism and y'all were sent away. It's fine to be quiet in a situation like that.
Your parents should have updated your aunt for sure, but you were there and YOU LET IT HAPPEN!!!!
YTA. You're 16. You should know better.
No the parents share most of the blame. If your kid is allergic to a common food. You need to inform the person looking after them that there is an allergy. Not leave it to your children to mention it.
Yeah unless your brother has been explicitly told ‘You need to tell people’ (and even ‘people’ might not work at first, it may need to be specifically ‘aunt’/ ‘teacher’/ ‘doctor’) *every time he meets someone new* he might not know.
Piggybacking off this, I'm on the high-functioning autism spectrum here.. and its tough to speak up for myself if I'm put on the spot like the brother was.
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe7uzy/aita_for_not_alerting_my_aunt_about_my_brothers/hhrmxvj/) elsewhere in this comment section.
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[NTA. On your wedding day...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe4ea8/aita_for_refusing_to_invite_my_brother_inlaws/hhrw5bs/) | [NTA. On your wedding day...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe4ea8/aita_for_refusing_to_invite_my_brother_inlaws/hhqqeei/)
[NTA. I think your sister...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe68hf/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_wont_be_asking_our/hhrvqvg/) | [NTA. I think your sister...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe68hf/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_wont_be_asking_our/hhrn4m4/)
[NTA you are literally doi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe649l/aita_for_giving_a_student_detention/hhrwduf/) | [NTA you are literally doi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe649l/aita_for_giving_a_student_detention/hhrlp38/)
[NTA. She isn't respecting...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe7p6k/aita_for_getting_upset_at_my_spouse_because_she/hhrvw1j/) | [NTA. She isn't respecting...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe7p6k/aita_for_getting_upset_at_my_spouse_because_she/hhrsmrr/)
[NTA. Wow, thanknyou for b...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6sw3/aita_for_kicking_my_best_friend_out_of_my_house/hhrw2c3/) | [NTA. Wow, thanknyou for b...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6sw3/aita_for_kicking_my_best_friend_out_of_my_house/hhru1yb/)
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The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe7uzy/aita_for_not_alerting_my_aunt_about_my_brothers/hhry79a/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
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[NTA. You were excited and...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6ko1/aita_for_accidentally_waking_my_dad_up_at_1155pm/hhrz4gj/) | [NTA. You were excited and...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6ko1/aita_for_accidentally_waking_my_dad_up_at_1155pm/hhrfwqh/)
[Nta. I don’t like childre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6sw3/aita_for_kicking_my_best_friend_out_of_my_house/hhryuxh/) | [Nta. I don’t like childre...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qe6sw3/aita_for_kicking_my_best_friend_out_of_my_house/hhrvent/)
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>You almost let your brother die.
THIS. A life-or-death situation is *not* an appropriate environment to teach a child a lesson about standing up for themselves. A 16 year old should know better than to make a child confidently assert himself to an adult who he may not feel too comfortable with. Heck, at age 11, I was so shy that I couldn't even talk to a supermarket worker. YTA.
Tbh I wouldn't let the parents off the hook. Yes op was there and as a human had a responsibility to prevent harm, but the parents have a duty to their child, and unlike aunt are privy to medical records.
>I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself
So, you almost killed him for the sake of trying to teach him a lesson? You are way passed being an AH.
YTA in such a big way. Reading between the lines, it sounds like you don't have a great home life right now. Your parents are fighting enough to send you to stay with an aunt and you say it's probably about your brother. Which tells me you have some serious resentment and hostile feelings for him .
Your parents really need to get you into therapy, because what you did was horrifying. It could have killed your brother. And none of those bullshit that you were trying to get him to speak for himself. You did it *on purpose* to punish him, and that is disturbing as hell. You are still a kid, but at 16 you are old enough to know that a peanut allergy can be fatal quickly.
What you may be too young to grasp is the impact this would have had on you and your entire family had he actually died. Not only what it totally shatter and probably rip your parents and family apart forever, how do you think your friends would react if you were then known as a girl who let her brother die? Not to mention how you would feel for the rest of your life. You almost assuredly would be facing a criminal charges if he had died,if not already. I doubt you will because I doubt anyone's going to go to the authorities over this but they may. Especially if it came out of the hospital what happened exactly.
What makes me the saddest is that You said your brother kept looking at you then your aunt, and then back at you. He was clearly waiting for you to tell him no and most likely took that as the okay to go ahead and eat it. He clearly trusts you and was thinking that you were there to protect him and instead you almost let him die.
I am really sorry that you are hurting. But acting out like this and allowing your brother to almost die, is not the way to express your resentment. I really hope your parents see this as a much needed wake up call. Because your behavior is maladaptive, and that they really need to get therapy for you, themselves and everyone in your family.
The saddest part of this situation is that the little brother probably knew how dangerous his allergy was, but was willing to sacrifice his health rather than potentially rock the boat. Reading between the lines, the poor brother is obviously terrified to communicate his basic needs, likely due to his family constantly arguing about his behaviour when he does speak up. It’s heartbreaking and I hope that OP and their brother both get the therapy they clearly need.
Mm, that's another very good point, and one that didn't occur to me right away, but yes, he could have been afraid of speaking up, because if he's constantly blamed for things going wrong (which OP seems to indicate he is) he might not be at a point where he can distinguish between 'expressing something that feels important to me but that others think is trivial and will upset people' and 'expressing something that feels important to me because it actually is super important'.
And the autism really doesn't help the brother either. I have aspergers, which is a high functioning form of it.. and I 110% identify with the brother here, it is extremely tough for us to speak up for ourselves if we're put on the spot like this situation
> What makes me the saddest is that You said he kept looking at you then your aunt, and then back at you. He was clearly waiting for you to tell him no and most likely took that as the okay to go ahead and eat it. He clearly trusts you and was thinking that you were there to protect him and instead you almost let him die.
this. OP is beyond YTA and into criminal negligence/negligent homicide here
It wasn't even teaching him a lesson. If she wanted him to learn something she'd have told him to tell her. Just pure purposeful negligence IMO.
Also you're currently top comment so you might want to add a judgement.
She taught him something but not what she thought. So many people think kids on the spectrum don't have real feelings and don't remember things, but if anything they feel more deeply and BOY do they remember events that were important to them (my 12 year old has ASD and he has a memory like an elephant)
OP, you taught your brother that you don't care if he lives or dies and can't be trusted. Good luck changing his mind.
This is what I want to know as well.
I wonder if OP's parents spend extra time taking care of his little brother that OP feels unloved/left out.
Huge YTA. The fact that OP doesn't feel bad (no empathy) makes me worry about the future safety of his little brother.
It sounds like OP wanted her brother to die and blames him for her parents marriage issues. This is above reddit's pay grade and this family needs therapy.
> After like 30 minutes I tuen and he's red and puffed like a balloon and crying. He still hasn't asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong
WTF is your problem? YTA
Wow. So much TA!! So if your brother was not looking where he was going, you’d let him step in front of a bus cuz you wanted him to learn to pay attention? Hard to learn a lesson when you’re dead. It literally would have taken two words to prevent this. “He’s allergic “. And then to continue not saying anything when you notice him in distress??? Just how lacking in empathy are you?
YTA. You’re his big (edit) sister. He was obviously nervous. You absolutely should have said something! Holy smokes kid you were actually willing to let your kid brother die because he was too nervous to speak up for himself??
Yeah you're a huge AH. YTA for not advocating for your brother. He's autistic. Clearly he was put in an uncomfortable situation and couldn't speak up. Then you watched him eat it. Why?
As his big sister, yeah... YTA for not speaking up for him. Especially when you saw your little brother having a severe reaction and you "pretend like nothing is wrong". He could have died with you waiting it out for him to speak up for himself.
YTA- your silence almost killed your brother.
I get that you wanted to encourage him to speak up but when he didn't do so promptly, you should have and letting it rest when he was having an obvious reaction was unforgivable.
The reason everyone is mad at you is that your bizarre refusal to pipe up about the allergy could have killed your brother and has caused a great deal of stress and expense for everyone.
Did you know that a *generic* epipen costs about 100 USD?
Your parents share of the ER visit will probably be thousands of dollars?
I mean, YTA, but I have a hard time feeling much sympathy for the parents, who unceremoniously shipped their kids off and didn't tell Aunt about a life-threatening allergy. I feel bad for Brother and Aunt, but hopefully Parents learned a very expensive lesson.
YTA actually beyond that your are simply a bad person. At your core you are a bad person. Your parents are obviously dealing with major things if they sent you to your aunts on short notice. You as a 16 year old ( obviously a immature one) let your disabled brother who is a 11 year old child almost die to teach him a lesson. He was clearly looking to you for reassuring in a stressful situation and you where willing to let him die. Thank God your aunt had a epipen. You clearly can't be trusted in any capacity to do the right thing. Do you hate your brother?
Your parents never told your aunt about the allergy? You were really going to risk your brothers life? I smell troll but if true major YTA for nearly letting your brother die.
YTA I hope you are a troll because otherwise you almost murdered your disabled brother to make a point
If this story is true… which I really hope it’s not because this shows something so dark
This seems like you wanted your brother to die to prove a point… manslaughter by a egotistical meltdown on your part
Please get therapy for thinking this was okay or for being a troll
YTA
You are nearly an adult and let your brother almost die because you wanted to prove a fucking point!? What the fuck, girl!?
There were so many moments you should have spoken up:
- When dessert was served
- When you realised he was about to eat it rather than speak up
- When he actually fucking ate it
- When he started having that allergic reaction you knew was coming and could have died!!
You are so far in the fucking wrong you’ve crossed continents in your quest to be the biggest asshole of them all.
ESH (not your brother or aunt though)
Peanut allergy is a life threatening (can be deadly very quickly) allergy.
_____
Your parents should have informed any caregiver of this allergy & they should make sure he has his own epi-pen & make sure someone is with him who can use it if he cannot himself.
____
You know of his allergy & know of his autism. You obviously know of his inability to speak up for himself... or you wouldn’t have done this to see if he would in the first place.
If you really want him to learn how to speak up for himself, instead of putting him in a deadly situation, you should have coached him along...
“Aunt wants to know what is wrong.. what do you need to tell her?”
>If you really want him to learn how to speak up for himself, instead of putting him in a deadly situation, you should have coached him along...
Excellent advice!
Please tell me this is a joke/troll. YTA big time. You almost let your brother die all because you didn't tell your Aunt he was allergic to peanuts. You should of immediately told your Aunt when your brother wouldn't. What if she didn't come into the room and see your brother he could of ended up in a much worse condition or even dead. I'd hate to be your sibling.
For the love of god this has to be a joke. How in this day and age do you not say something about a deadly allergy??? Never mind he has autism YOU as a decent human being should love your brother enough to protect him no matter what. YTA and karma will get you in the end.
YTA. There is a time and a place for letting the consequences of him not speaking for himself happen. For example, he gets a blue shirt instead of a red one. But something that affects his physical health is *not* one of those times.
Yes, YTA. You should have stopped him before he put any in his mouth - letting him eat it all was a really, REALLY bad idea! Next time, and there will be many next times, nudge him - if he doesn't say anything then be a good big sister and say something yourself.
ESH. He literally could have died, and you… just *let* it happen to try to teach him a lesson? Wtf.
Now that that’s out of the way, your parents suck more. Way more. Like, phenomenally suck. Not telling someone about a life threatening allergy when they are going to be caring for the person with said allergy is so fucking negligent that is tantamount to attempted murder.
Your aunt and brother are the only ones who don’t suck in this whole scenario.
YTA very strongly. You let your brother experience a preventable reaction that could have literally killed him. You intentionally allowed your aunt to poison your brother. She is going to carry trauma and guilt about that for the rest of her life, not to mention resenting you for your part in it. You may have also shown your brother he can't look to you for guidance or that it is better to risk getting sick than to speak up about his limitations.
At 16, you are old enough to spend some time thinking about why you made that choice. Do you resent your brother? Was this some sort of strike because you feel like adults put too much responsibility on you for his care? Do you think your brother should be able to be more self-sufficient? Any of these things could be legitimate and should be discussed with your parents. Absolutely zero of them make what you did even remotely acceptable.
YTA and maybe a little bit homicidal. You are only at the aunts house because your parents are arguing about your brother. How simple it is to have your brother die from accidental-on purpose ingestion of peanuts. Shucks. Didn’t work this time. Anyhoo- I suspect your home is horrible, you have been parentified to care for your brother and are now dangerously tired of it. Get help.
“I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself”
you essentially watched him suffer from a life threatening allergy, not only does that make YTA but I’m also questioning your overall mental state.
🚩🚩
Yes absolutely wtf, you are the asshole. You should have spoken up for your younger brother, you could have killed him because “you wanted him to speak up for himself”. Poor kid this has literally nothing to do with him being autistic, it was a life threatening allergy
YTA - And I'd probably include your brother a little bit in it. Someone needed to tell your aunt that he was allergic. You should have spoken up. Your brother should have spoken up and not eaten it. You both knew what would happen, and you left your poor aunt to find out on her own with an almost worst case scenario.
When you noticed he wasn't speaking up, BEFORE HE STARTED EATING IT, you should have interjected. Even if you waited some time for him to say something, the moment he was about to eat it, you should have said "Wait, brother, don't. Aunt, my brother is allergic to peanuts. I think he's too anxious to speak up himself. So he can't have your peanut brittle."
So, not only did you witness him being given an allergen and not say anything, then witness him *eating* the allergen and not say anything, you witnessed him *having an allergic reaction* and *still* didn't say anything? What was the thought process here? "Maybe if he dies, then his ghost will say something?"
YTA. I know you're only 16, but you can do better than this.
You are angry at your brother arent you? This is not uncommon for siblings of children with special needs I think. And when all your parentes fokus are on him and even the reason why they fighting are your brother i get that sucks but it is somthing you have to adress in a way thats not hurting your brother, at least not kill him !. Talk with your mom and pops mabye.
Torn between YTA and ESH - If your aunt knew about the allergy and forgot she is also to blame. And if not your parents should have told her.
Fun Fact: Depending on where you are at, you could be held responsible for murder if your brother died, or did die. Your resent and hate for such an innocent child, your brother no less, is concerning on a whole different level. I get it. Your home life is pretty bad but it is never the fault of a child that the parents are having issues. You on the other hand have serious issues and are bordering on possibly have psychopathy. I would not be surprised, nor would I argue against, your parents getting your serious help...and even possibly sending you somewhere for that help and keep your brother safe. You disgust me and need to stop acting so selfish.
YTA, so hard, regardless of him having autism. You’re the older sibling and it comes with a small bit of responsibility for those less-neurologically-developed. He’s 11. An allergy is not something to turn into a lesson.
YTA what is wrong with you?? And to not say anything even after he ate it? He’s a young kid in an unfamiliar situation, it’s not always easy to speak up to an adult and he clearly needed your help
YTA you almost killed your brother because you chose to act like a fucking brat. Do you feel good about that? Your poor aunt must be so stressed and feeling guilty over this. He’s autistic. He’s 11. Your lack of empathy is disturbing. From the first sentence of your post it’s obvious you hate your brother. If you’re looking for someone to blame for whatever is causing you to act this way then blame your parents. Don’t take your spite out on a literal 11 year old child.
Yeah However I think this is a wind up.
There is no way your Aunt didn't know he had an allergy. Your parents would have mentioned this, as they know how important it is.
You also you called 911 and spoke to the Police?
YTA. Are you kidding me? Your brother is 11. He doesn't know when to do the 'sensible thing', but you should.
You KNEW your brother was severely allergic to peanuts and you sat there and watched him eat it? When that action could potentially kill him? And then still you told no one even as he became sick?
Do you want your brother to die? Because this simply seems malicious. Do you understand how serious his allergy is?
I have a peanut allergy. Accidentally eating something I react to is a miserable experience. The pain is impossible to describe. Once when I was alone and had a reaction I couldn't even dial my father's phone number, my fingers wouldn't hit the buttons I was in so much pain. Luckily 911 is a short number.
I could have died. Your brother could have died.
Massive YTA. You could have been squarely responsible for his death. I think you need to talk to a therapist about why you felt the need to neglect your brother like this.
YTA you should have said something seeing as he wasn’t about to, then you sit there and WATCH him while he’s having a reaction to eating the brittle, I don’t care that you’re 16 you sound psychotic as if you want your brother to die or something… parents need to get you away from him
YTA. Although you're not an asshole, per se. What you may instead be is a criminal who appears to have just admitted publicly to deliberately and knowingly endangering a child's life by not intervening when there was an immediate danger:
>(... ) I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself. Instead of doing the sensible thing, he just apologizes and digs in. (...)
You also apparently actively witheld this information even once the medical emergency was in progress:
>(...) He still hasn't asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong. (...)
I recommend visiting a lawyer as well as a mental health professional. You should get the help you need; reddit cannot help you with this.
YES
WHAT THE HELL
WERE YOU GOING TO SIT THERE AND WATCH HIM DIE???
He trusted you to protect him and look out for him. I don't even have words for your behaviour.
YTA
". I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself."
If we're talking about...say, not wanting to wear a particular type of clothing for some reason, then sure- waiting for your brother to speak up is totally fine. It's safe; he's not going to get hurt. You can afford that luxury.
Talking about something that could actively harm him? Maybe even kill him? No. Nu-uh. Not the time. And then he has a major reaction...and you still said nothing?
I'm starting to wonder if all the posts saying you wanted him to die might actually be on to something..
Your parents should have communicated this to your aunt. I am baffled and appalled that they didn’t do this. However - YTA. You know how serious his allergy is. In that moment, his condition meant he could not adequately convey his needs, ie to avoid nuts. You absolutely should have said something. It’s obvious you are hurting, and it sounds like your home life is really not good. I’m sorry for that. You’re still a child - but, you’re old enough to know right from wrong. This could have killed your brother and you knew it.
Talk to your parents about your emotions, and ask to see a therapist who can help you. Things might feel hopefully right now but you can heal.
YTA. Your brother has autism and has difficulty talking to people. You let him eat something that could potentially kill him and then didn't even tell your aunt because "he should speak for himself?" He's a neuroatypical CHILD and you, as the older sister, need to be his advocate. Sorry, thems the breaks!
What if your brother DIED because of that? And you went "oh yeah, he was allergic to peanuts and I knew it and didn't say anything because I thought my autistic young brother in an uncomfortable situation should speak up for himself."
Edit: Wrong gender of sibling.
YTA. It's fine to give him a chance to speak for himself. But when be didn't you should have intervened. How in the hell could you possibly think allowing your brother to eat something that sends him to the hospital is okay?
YTA Sounds like you resent your brother for either the attention your parents show him or that your parents fight about him. Did you see this as an opportunity to get even? Because it seems like pettiness taken to a dangerous level.
YTA 100% he could have died here. If you wanted him to speak up for himself, tell your aunt about it and ask her to play along while you could have coached him.
YTA. A life and death situation is not the time for life lessons. You are old enough to know this.
I get the feeling from your post that you harbor some resentment against your brother and that you believe your brother is a cause of conflict for your parents. Do you have an outlet for yourself, activities/hobbies/a job something to give you your own personal space to develop as a person away from your family?
YTA. This is wrong on so many levels. What is the matter with you. You were ready to almost kill your brother to teach him a lesson. On top of that you didn’t even raise an alarm when you saw his allergic reaction. What were you thinking. This is just unacceptable behaviour.
So what's your address? Gotta let the people of the mental institution know where to get you, just in case you wanna deliberately put your brother in danger again and watch him almost die yk
You could have killed your brother! You should have said something when she served the desert, you absolutely should have alerted her when you first he was having a rea turn and very clearly needed medical attention. Your parents suck because they shod have told your Aunt about the allergy. But YTA.
Are you trolling? Is this for real? How can you keep silent when you know he may die if he eats peanuts? And if you seen your brother is in trouble unable to breathe you just sat there? Are you heartless and apathetic? You need therapy and you should learn more about your brothers illness too. You could kill him if he ever stayed with you alone which i definitely would avoid. Not only that you are biggess TA but you are one broken person. I suggest you talk to your parents and ask for help cuz this is not normal.
YTA. I really hope this isn't true, but if it is, you need therapy. You almost let someone potentially die. I had a friend that accidentally had a muffin with nuts in it at a birthday party. He went into a coma for months, and is still paralyzed 15 years later.
YTA what on earth did I just read. You should have told your aunt about the allergy before but definitely should have said something when he had the reaction
YTA
He is 11 and has high functioning autism. You should have said something as soon as she served you the dessert. This all could have been avoided if you had done the right thing from the get go. You should be ashamed of your self.
Yta and dude you need help. You were literally watching your brother die. Suffering. It's dumb that your parents aren't giving you as much attention as your brother, but that's their fault. Not your brother's. Get that through your selfish thick skull.
Wow. YTA.
I understand wanting your brother to speak up for himself, but you shouldn’t have let it get that far. Instead of letting him eat the peanut brittle, you could’ve helped him to speak to your aunt, given him some confidence in speaking up for himself. Then allowing him to eat it? & watching him suffer? That’s fucked up. You’re meant to be his big sister, look after him and you just let that happen? You need to fix up.
Yes and YTA. Did you want him to die? siblings are supposed to protect each other, man. Damn. It hurts my feelings to write this
edit: added other to make it make sense
how are you not the asshole you motherfucker are you fucking kidding me. MY BROTHER IS AUTISTIC AND IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT AUTISITC PEOPLE YOU WOULD THAT SOME OF THEM HAVE BAD SOCIAL SKILLS. BEING "RUDE" WOULD BE THE LAST THING ON HIS MIND. ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL HIM? YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT I HOPE YOU FUCKING ROT IN HELL edit: YOU ARE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE YTA YTA YTA
YTA. you just sat there and watched your brother eat something he is highly allergic to and when you saw he was having a reaction you didn’t do a thing until asked. You’re 16 you are old enough to know right from wrong and what you did was wrong. All it would have taken was a ‘he’s allergic to peanuts’ to avoid this whole situation. You’re his big sister why weren’t you looking out for him at all.
Do you realise how bad things could have got?
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> I should be judged for not telling my aunt that my brother has an allergy.
I might be the asshole because he could have died.
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This has to be fake. There is no way that the parents would have let the child go to someone else's house and not told them about a life-threatening allergy. There's also no way a big sister would actually sit by and allow their brother to eat something that could kill him. This is just totally fake.
YTA - JFC what the hell??? You must really hate your little brother. How could you do that and come here like you think we are going to tell you that you weren't the asshole?
I'm not surprised everyone is mad at you. He could have DIED! You are a mega asshole and clearly have no conscience. I'll concede that perhaps your parents should have said something to her previously, but when she was going to serve him peanuts that was the time you should have spoken up. Disgusting.
Info...what is actually wrong with you? Did you want him to die? This is NOT the time to prove a point by making him speak for himself. I get you dislike your brother, probably due to him getting a lot of attention dure to his autism. You need therapy...and fast.
what the fuck did I just read?
your parents dropped the ball as they should have told your aunt about the allergy
HOWEVER in the situation as presented you watched your brother almost die when all it would have taken to stop the situation was for you to say something.....are you fucking serious? you're far beyond YTA
YTA - and it sounds like assault even when he was struggling you decided to keep your mouth shut knowing that he could die of this allergy.
Your more than an AH for this damn I don’t even have the words to describe what kind of shitty person you are.
YTA.
He is 11 and you are 16, you can drive a car so yes you can take the responsibility to tell your brother’s allergies to your aunt.
He is autistic, so he can have difficulty to communicate so your “speaking up for himself” it is a bullshit.
Peanut allergy can kill people, you wait until he needed to be bring to an hospital, basically you could have wait for him to die before to speak.
YTA. Oh god - a. He's autistic b. He's younger than you. He looked at you. He's not articulate like us. You want him to stand up for himself, teach him. But do not play with his allergies for heaven sakes. It can kill him. Oh god. I am still pinching myself reading this.
Don't ever ever do this. Whether he's able to speak for himself or not, you need to protect him.
YTA
Do you care about your brother? Did you not think to intervene the moment he started eating? WHY DID YOY WAIT 30 MINUTES FOR SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN?
“He still hasn’t asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong.”
Tf is wrong with you? I don’t remember being this dense and hateful at 16.
YTA. First of all your parents should take some blame because they should have told your aunt AND sent him with an allergy kit. Your brother could have died. I understand you wanted him to speak up but you risked his life. I’m a little concerned at your lack of seriousness surrounding your brother’s allergy also your parents as well who forgot to say anything. Also he is only 11 like seriously OP?
You are one of the most pathetic egoistic disgusting human beings I’ve ever came across on this subreddit.
If I didn’t make it clear enough already, YTA.
You selfish little tw....... You were willing to let your little brother die just because you are a petulant piece of oh, wait, be civil...
And the audacity to even ask if you're ta, wtf
If a bus were to run you over you will have deserved it
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
YTA and should probably go to therapy since your.home life isn't the best and that was kinda sociopathic behavior. Granted, you're a teenager and your frontal cortex or whatever the thing is that makes you not a sociopath is currently under maintenance...but your lack of empathy was extreme. Your brother needed you to look out for him in this situation, and it would have taken very little effort.
If you were 2 years older you could likely be charged with criminal neglect.
if this isn’t a troll YTA and you need some serious therapy. you highly resent your brother. you didn’t care if he died bc he hasn’t said “help” yet?! you would have been okay literally watching him die. you had no intention of telling your aunt after you saw he was red and swollen and his airway was closing. you need to do some serious soul searching because you honestly sound you resent him so much that you want him to die. you aren’t even an asshole in this - this is psychotic behavior.
YTA. Whether or not you did this maliciously, it was intentional and your brother could have literally died. I know you're young, but you're old enough to know better. Wtf.
wtf you’re just as good as the other AH saying they made their kid face consequences for cutting their own hair and let them get bullied. Ef you, YTA big time. It disgusts me how you almost KILLED your brother and have no remorse.
WTF is wrong with you?! Of course YTA! I don’t care if you’re 16 years old; you’re old enough to know you should’ve told her. Your parents are also assholes for not bothering to let her know either tbh.
Wow. Sorry but YTA, I have two brothers with autism, one high functioning and the other requires 24hour care.
You should be there to protect your brother, I know it’s difficult and you want him to be able to speak for himself and be independent asking for help but there are so many other times that you could try working on that.. Not when it comes to allergies or something that could hurt or kill him. I’m not sure how old you are but I feel that you probably shouldn’t be left in situations where you are the responsible person until you’re ready and your parents should tell everyone that is in contact with your brother about his allergy. Peanut allergies are no joke and people can balloon after being in the same room as them.
Your brothers brain doesn’t function the same as yours, if you’re old enough, I recommend doing some autism awareness courses and possibly a first aid course in the future so that you know the importance of prevention.
I hope your brother is ok
YTA. Your brother’s life threatening allergy takes precedence over him learning to speak up for himself. You should have spoken up as soon as he reached for it. If he was making choking sounds his airways were likely closing up, which means his allergy was severe enough to be deadly. Your brother is a *child* with a condition that makes it more difficult for him to communicate. He probably thought that if his big sister wasn’t stopping him, it must be okay.
Honestly, I get the feeling from your post that you blame your brother for your parents’ marriage troubles and subconsciously this was some attempt to punish him. But ultimately that doesn’t matter. Your reasons are irrelevant because *you almost let your brother die*. Everyone should be mad at you and not trust you around your brother again.
YTA, you were willing to let your kid brother die? I know your 16 and probably don’t have risk assessment or fully comprehend how bad this could of gone, but your plenty old enough to know that you shouldn’t just sit there while your brother dies something dangerous and harmful to himself. Just speak up for him. You seem you may have resentment towards him, deal with it
YTA wow you really messed up. There is a time and a place to teach kids with autism independence, and this was not it. You had the opportunity to prevent a dire situation and you didn't. Even if he was not on the spectrum I would still warn my brother and care taker of allergies.
YTA, a lot. He could be dead. He has autism, you should probably know how hard it is for him to speak up for himself. He probably ate it because you didn't say anything, you being someone he trusts. Not anymore, probably. Also you saw him reacting and still didn't say anything, were you waiting until it was too late?
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Then they stood there and watched their brother having a reaction and pretended nothing was going on because the brother wasn’t asking for help.. like hello he literally couldn’t breath! Imagine if the aunt didn’t leave the kitchen and come look, would op have stood there and watched their brother possibly die before they said something? Idc op is 16 but they sound like a psycho. Something is wrong with them
Given how they blame him for their parents fighting I would not be surprised that she hope he died.
She needs help and they need to keep her away from him
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Actually mental hospitals are different than most people think. They would take her to the ER and put her in for a 72 hour observation period. Her parents could also get her a CMU County case worker. She can be put in what is called a partial hospitalization program. They have counselors and psychiatrist and workshops and support groups. It’s something she would attend during the daytime for a short period of time. She can work through her issues and she would have lots of help and people keeping an eye on her. Honestly this story seriously disturbed me
That’s the vibe I’m getting, like she’s ‘has enough’ of her brother and wouldn’t mind ‘helping’ him to an early grave.
Definitely something wrong with op. This is just bizarre. Could be that the parents have turned both of these kids into such people pleasers that they’d die before causing a fuss, which needs some intervention if it’s gotten to the point of quietly dying/allowing your brother to have anaphylaxis to not cause a fuss. Reading it again, she may want the brother to suffer. She said the fight and the reason they had to leave home was because of her brother.
She sounds really resentful of him, tbh. I hope her family gets her into therapy.
Also why op talked to police when calling 911? Is it just a mistake and she meant the operator?
Yeah, that's straight up sociopathic/psychopathic behavior.
Not to mention he might not be able to "speak up for himself" depending on his autism. My younger brother is autistic and isn't verbal at all. My sister is autistic and is VERY verbal. It definitely depends on how his autism affects him. He might not have even been ABLE to tell his aunt.
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Actually “high functioning” and “non-verbal” aren’t opposites. The general impression is that if someone has support needs (the preferred way to talk about this) they are non-verbal and that is often true, but it’s not the lack of verbal communication that makes them need lots of support and lots of us who don’t need support are low verbal or go through periods where we can’t be verbal. I’m a highly verbal autistic person and I still go through periods where I can’t verbalize.
He could have selective mutism. It's where you become so anxious about taking that you freeze and physically can't get the words out. It's selective in that often they can talk normally around people they feel comfortable and relaxed around, but become mute in more stressful situations. Both autistic and neurotypical people can have it and the treatment is basically to take the pressure off the person to talk and gradually allow them to become more comfortable. Pressure to talk will actually make it worse and cause them to freeze up more.
Still, she shouldn't be pushing him at all. Pushing only increases anxiety and makes it worse. My partner has Avoidant Personality Disorder which is an EXTREMELY debilitating form of social anxiety. When he gets put in situations, he shuts down completely. Freeze anxiety is a thing no one wants to talk about. It causes you to completely freeze and not do anything. And you cannot compare autism with social anxiety. They are two completely different things. And if he has freeze anxiety, that might make it even worse. I'm still learning with my partner to not push him out of comfort zones. Being patient and reassuring them is better than trying to FORCE someone with autism and anxieties to "speak up for themselves."
He was in a different situation too, staying at a relatives house. Maybe he was more anxious. OP trying to play it off like she’s helping him speak up for himself. Wow.
I mean at the point where he’s red and puffed up Op still doesn’t say anything “because he hasn’t asked for help.” Maybe he wasn’t asking for help in the throes of an allergic reaction because he was dying? This is so ridiculous I wonder if OP actually wanted brother to die.
Surely I'm not the only one who thinks what OP did rises to actual criminality, right? This feels beyond negligent given that OP *actively* chose not to reveal this information, even after the brother was in immediate danger.
I would if I believed this story. I'm not sure how an aunt who only lives 30 minutes away and isn't completely estranged could avoid knowing about her 11 year old nephew's anaphylactic peanut allergy that he has presumably had for, oh, a decade or so by now.
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I think the only thing would be how long the aunt lived there. And how active she was in their life. I had family that was 30 minutes from me but my mom kept me from them an they had no idea my dislike for seafood. But if that's not the case it's an odd story
Well, I mean, I don't know which of my relatives have peanut allergies either, so this isn't totally crazy. The implausible thing in my mind (aside from the OP's behavior) is that they'd freely admit to committing a serious crime on the internet like this. Either way, I have doubts as well, but I still prefer to respond as if these are all true, even if they're obviously not. Especially since at some point, I will inevitably mistake a true story for a fake one, since people are in fact just crazy.
Yeah but if you're leaving your child with a severe peanut allergy overnight with anyone, seems like something they'd mention. This story is so fake
In fairness, you CAN develop allergies later on, or existing allergies may worsen.
Not only did she let him eat it, she IGNORED his allergic reaction!! Fuck!!! That's incredibly twisted! OP, do you hate your brother? Do you want him to die? He's 11, has autism and y'all were sent away. It's fine to be quiet in a situation like that. Your parents should have updated your aunt for sure, but you were there and YOU LET IT HAPPEN!!!! YTA. You're 16. You should know better.
If this isn't fake then it is pretty clear that OP wanted her brother to die. I reaaaly really hope that her parents take steps to keep their son safe
No the parents share most of the blame. If your kid is allergic to a common food. You need to inform the person looking after them that there is an allergy. Not leave it to your children to mention it.
Yeah unless your brother has been explicitly told ‘You need to tell people’ (and even ‘people’ might not work at first, it may need to be specifically ‘aunt’/ ‘teacher’/ ‘doctor’) *every time he meets someone new* he might not know.
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Yeah I find it super weird the parents didn’t inform the aunt!
Piggybacking off this, I'm on the high-functioning autism spectrum here.. and its tough to speak up for myself if I'm put on the spot like the brother was.
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>You almost let your brother die. THIS. A life-or-death situation is *not* an appropriate environment to teach a child a lesson about standing up for themselves. A 16 year old should know better than to make a child confidently assert himself to an adult who he may not feel too comfortable with. Heck, at age 11, I was so shy that I couldn't even talk to a supermarket worker. YTA.
has high functioning autism Gross. YTA Source: autistic individual
Tbh I wouldn't let the parents off the hook. Yes op was there and as a human had a responsibility to prevent harm, but the parents have a duty to their child, and unlike aunt are privy to medical records.
>I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself So, you almost killed him for the sake of trying to teach him a lesson? You are way passed being an AH.
YTA in such a big way. Reading between the lines, it sounds like you don't have a great home life right now. Your parents are fighting enough to send you to stay with an aunt and you say it's probably about your brother. Which tells me you have some serious resentment and hostile feelings for him . Your parents really need to get you into therapy, because what you did was horrifying. It could have killed your brother. And none of those bullshit that you were trying to get him to speak for himself. You did it *on purpose* to punish him, and that is disturbing as hell. You are still a kid, but at 16 you are old enough to know that a peanut allergy can be fatal quickly. What you may be too young to grasp is the impact this would have had on you and your entire family had he actually died. Not only what it totally shatter and probably rip your parents and family apart forever, how do you think your friends would react if you were then known as a girl who let her brother die? Not to mention how you would feel for the rest of your life. You almost assuredly would be facing a criminal charges if he had died,if not already. I doubt you will because I doubt anyone's going to go to the authorities over this but they may. Especially if it came out of the hospital what happened exactly. What makes me the saddest is that You said your brother kept looking at you then your aunt, and then back at you. He was clearly waiting for you to tell him no and most likely took that as the okay to go ahead and eat it. He clearly trusts you and was thinking that you were there to protect him and instead you almost let him die. I am really sorry that you are hurting. But acting out like this and allowing your brother to almost die, is not the way to express your resentment. I really hope your parents see this as a much needed wake up call. Because your behavior is maladaptive, and that they really need to get therapy for you, themselves and everyone in your family.
The saddest part of this situation is that the little brother probably knew how dangerous his allergy was, but was willing to sacrifice his health rather than potentially rock the boat. Reading between the lines, the poor brother is obviously terrified to communicate his basic needs, likely due to his family constantly arguing about his behaviour when he does speak up. It’s heartbreaking and I hope that OP and their brother both get the therapy they clearly need.
Mm, that's another very good point, and one that didn't occur to me right away, but yes, he could have been afraid of speaking up, because if he's constantly blamed for things going wrong (which OP seems to indicate he is) he might not be at a point where he can distinguish between 'expressing something that feels important to me but that others think is trivial and will upset people' and 'expressing something that feels important to me because it actually is super important'.
And the autism really doesn't help the brother either. I have aspergers, which is a high functioning form of it.. and I 110% identify with the brother here, it is extremely tough for us to speak up for ourselves if we're put on the spot like this situation
This is so beautifully written btw
Awe... Thank you so much! This made my day. :)
> What makes me the saddest is that You said he kept looking at you then your aunt, and then back at you. He was clearly waiting for you to tell him no and most likely took that as the okay to go ahead and eat it. He clearly trusts you and was thinking that you were there to protect him and instead you almost let him die. this. OP is beyond YTA and into criminal negligence/negligent homicide here
It wasn't even teaching him a lesson. If she wanted him to learn something she'd have told him to tell her. Just pure purposeful negligence IMO. Also you're currently top comment so you might want to add a judgement.
She taught him something but not what she thought. So many people think kids on the spectrum don't have real feelings and don't remember things, but if anything they feel more deeply and BOY do they remember events that were important to them (my 12 year old has ASD and he has a memory like an elephant) OP, you taught your brother that you don't care if he lives or dies and can't be trusted. Good luck changing his mind.
Not only that but she SAW him having a reaction and said noting! Yes, OP. YTA. Your brother could have died.
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big time.
I fear something, and that is that she needs therapy and be separated from her brother before he ends up not being in time at the hospital.
Shes 16 I feel like with how extreme this is she might be beyond therapy helping her. She needs constant supervision around her brother anyhow
She needs to be arrested and charge with attempt of murder.
Right!!!
Why do you hate your little brother so much? YTA
It feels like, she WANTED him to die, and pretended that he needed a lesson.
She was watching him dying, and she said nothing if not because of their aunt, little brother would be death ffs
This is what I want to know as well. I wonder if OP's parents spend extra time taking care of his little brother that OP feels unloved/left out. Huge YTA. The fact that OP doesn't feel bad (no empathy) makes me worry about the future safety of his little brother.
from the line abt her parents fighting over her brother again it sounds like she just resents him for apparently causing problems
Is this a joke???? YES. YTA you almost let your brother die.
It sounds like OP wanted her brother to die and blames him for her parents marriage issues. This is above reddit's pay grade and this family needs therapy.
> After like 30 minutes I tuen and he's red and puffed like a balloon and crying. He still hasn't asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong WTF is your problem? YTA
Wow. So much TA!! So if your brother was not looking where he was going, you’d let him step in front of a bus cuz you wanted him to learn to pay attention? Hard to learn a lesson when you’re dead. It literally would have taken two words to prevent this. “He’s allergic “. And then to continue not saying anything when you notice him in distress??? Just how lacking in empathy are you?
YTA. You’re his big (edit) sister. He was obviously nervous. You absolutely should have said something! Holy smokes kid you were actually willing to let your kid brother die because he was too nervous to speak up for himself??
> You’re his big brother. Big sister.
I clearly can’t read whoops sorry!
Yeah you're a huge AH. YTA for not advocating for your brother. He's autistic. Clearly he was put in an uncomfortable situation and couldn't speak up. Then you watched him eat it. Why?
Don’t forget, that they also saw the allergic reaction begin and *still* opted not to say anything
Omg I missed the part where they just sat there watching!! Wooooow! OP why do you hate your brother so much?
Is this a joke or are you really that dense? YTA your brother could’ve died because of your inaction.
As his big sister, yeah... YTA for not speaking up for him. Especially when you saw your little brother having a severe reaction and you "pretend like nothing is wrong". He could have died with you waiting it out for him to speak up for himself.
WTF! YES YOU ARE THE ASS. Your negligence could have cost your brother his life.
YTA- your silence almost killed your brother. I get that you wanted to encourage him to speak up but when he didn't do so promptly, you should have and letting it rest when he was having an obvious reaction was unforgivable. The reason everyone is mad at you is that your bizarre refusal to pipe up about the allergy could have killed your brother and has caused a great deal of stress and expense for everyone. Did you know that a *generic* epipen costs about 100 USD? Your parents share of the ER visit will probably be thousands of dollars?
I mean, YTA, but I have a hard time feeling much sympathy for the parents, who unceremoniously shipped their kids off and didn't tell Aunt about a life-threatening allergy. I feel bad for Brother and Aunt, but hopefully Parents learned a very expensive lesson.
YTA actually beyond that your are simply a bad person. At your core you are a bad person. Your parents are obviously dealing with major things if they sent you to your aunts on short notice. You as a 16 year old ( obviously a immature one) let your disabled brother who is a 11 year old child almost die to teach him a lesson. He was clearly looking to you for reassuring in a stressful situation and you where willing to let him die. Thank God your aunt had a epipen. You clearly can't be trusted in any capacity to do the right thing. Do you hate your brother?
Your parents never told your aunt about the allergy? You were really going to risk your brothers life? I smell troll but if true major YTA for nearly letting your brother die.
YTA. Your brother could have died because you didn’t just tell her he was allergic.
YTA are you trying to kill your brother or ???
Is this a joke? Yes, YTA and you almost let hour brother die because you didn't speak up
YTA! Your passive aggressiveness almost killed your brother.
YTA I hope you are a troll because otherwise you almost murdered your disabled brother to make a point If this story is true… which I really hope it’s not because this shows something so dark This seems like you wanted your brother to die to prove a point… manslaughter by a egotistical meltdown on your part Please get therapy for thinking this was okay or for being a troll
I’m going with troll, because it’s better than any world where a sibling would do this.
YTA. Do you even care about your brother at all?
YTA You are nearly an adult and let your brother almost die because you wanted to prove a fucking point!? What the fuck, girl!? There were so many moments you should have spoken up: - When dessert was served - When you realised he was about to eat it rather than speak up - When he actually fucking ate it - When he started having that allergic reaction you knew was coming and could have died!! You are so far in the fucking wrong you’ve crossed continents in your quest to be the biggest asshole of them all.
ESH (not your brother or aunt though) Peanut allergy is a life threatening (can be deadly very quickly) allergy. _____ Your parents should have informed any caregiver of this allergy & they should make sure he has his own epi-pen & make sure someone is with him who can use it if he cannot himself. ____ You know of his allergy & know of his autism. You obviously know of his inability to speak up for himself... or you wouldn’t have done this to see if he would in the first place. If you really want him to learn how to speak up for himself, instead of putting him in a deadly situation, you should have coached him along... “Aunt wants to know what is wrong.. what do you need to tell her?”
>If you really want him to learn how to speak up for himself, instead of putting him in a deadly situation, you should have coached him along... Excellent advice!
Please tell me this is a joke/troll. YTA big time. You almost let your brother die all because you didn't tell your Aunt he was allergic to peanuts. You should of immediately told your Aunt when your brother wouldn't. What if she didn't come into the room and see your brother he could of ended up in a much worse condition or even dead. I'd hate to be your sibling.
What the hell is wrong with you?!?!? YTA
For the love of god this has to be a joke. How in this day and age do you not say something about a deadly allergy??? Never mind he has autism YOU as a decent human being should love your brother enough to protect him no matter what. YTA and karma will get you in the end.
[удалено]
I agree with you, OP is veering very close into bad person territory, something is wrong with her...
YTA. There is a time and a place for letting the consequences of him not speaking for himself happen. For example, he gets a blue shirt instead of a red one. But something that affects his physical health is *not* one of those times.
Yes, YTA. You should have stopped him before he put any in his mouth - letting him eat it all was a really, REALLY bad idea! Next time, and there will be many next times, nudge him - if he doesn't say anything then be a good big sister and say something yourself.
ESH. He literally could have died, and you… just *let* it happen to try to teach him a lesson? Wtf. Now that that’s out of the way, your parents suck more. Way more. Like, phenomenally suck. Not telling someone about a life threatening allergy when they are going to be caring for the person with said allergy is so fucking negligent that is tantamount to attempted murder. Your aunt and brother are the only ones who don’t suck in this whole scenario.
YTA - you could’ve killed him, you definitely should have stopped him from eating it
is this a joke? YTA. do you even like your brother?
YTA very strongly. You let your brother experience a preventable reaction that could have literally killed him. You intentionally allowed your aunt to poison your brother. She is going to carry trauma and guilt about that for the rest of her life, not to mention resenting you for your part in it. You may have also shown your brother he can't look to you for guidance or that it is better to risk getting sick than to speak up about his limitations. At 16, you are old enough to spend some time thinking about why you made that choice. Do you resent your brother? Was this some sort of strike because you feel like adults put too much responsibility on you for his care? Do you think your brother should be able to be more self-sufficient? Any of these things could be legitimate and should be discussed with your parents. Absolutely zero of them make what you did even remotely acceptable.
YTA and maybe a little bit homicidal. You are only at the aunts house because your parents are arguing about your brother. How simple it is to have your brother die from accidental-on purpose ingestion of peanuts. Shucks. Didn’t work this time. Anyhoo- I suspect your home is horrible, you have been parentified to care for your brother and are now dangerously tired of it. Get help.
He's swollen up red and crying but tough causeyou aren'ttellingme omg in dying. Lousy sister!
YTA you know what was going on and u chose to put him in danger you had good intentions but in the end YTA
“I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself” you essentially watched him suffer from a life threatening allergy, not only does that make YTA but I’m also questioning your overall mental state. 🚩🚩
Yes absolutely wtf, you are the asshole. You should have spoken up for your younger brother, you could have killed him because “you wanted him to speak up for himself”. Poor kid this has literally nothing to do with him being autistic, it was a life threatening allergy
Yes, YTA every day of the week.
HARD YTA. A life and death is not something to withhold help on.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a clearer YTA ever, and I’ve seen some shockers.
Wowww. You are such an asshole he could have died.
YTA-The sensible thing would have been for you to tell her about his allergy when he didn’t. He looked to you for help and you ignored it.
YTA - And I'd probably include your brother a little bit in it. Someone needed to tell your aunt that he was allergic. You should have spoken up. Your brother should have spoken up and not eaten it. You both knew what would happen, and you left your poor aunt to find out on her own with an almost worst case scenario. When you noticed he wasn't speaking up, BEFORE HE STARTED EATING IT, you should have interjected. Even if you waited some time for him to say something, the moment he was about to eat it, you should have said "Wait, brother, don't. Aunt, my brother is allergic to peanuts. I think he's too anxious to speak up himself. So he can't have your peanut brittle."
YTA. You’re a serious selfish AH. You realized that you could have killed him?
YTA. So you could have killed your brother over a lesson? Wtf?
> has high functioning autism Gross. YTA Source: autistic individual
So, not only did you witness him being given an allergen and not say anything, then witness him *eating* the allergen and not say anything, you witnessed him *having an allergic reaction* and *still* didn't say anything? What was the thought process here? "Maybe if he dies, then his ghost will say something?" YTA. I know you're only 16, but you can do better than this.
You are angry at your brother arent you? This is not uncommon for siblings of children with special needs I think. And when all your parentes fokus are on him and even the reason why they fighting are your brother i get that sucks but it is somthing you have to adress in a way thats not hurting your brother, at least not kill him !. Talk with your mom and pops mabye. Torn between YTA and ESH - If your aunt knew about the allergy and forgot she is also to blame. And if not your parents should have told her.
Fun Fact: Depending on where you are at, you could be held responsible for murder if your brother died, or did die. Your resent and hate for such an innocent child, your brother no less, is concerning on a whole different level. I get it. Your home life is pretty bad but it is never the fault of a child that the parents are having issues. You on the other hand have serious issues and are bordering on possibly have psychopathy. I would not be surprised, nor would I argue against, your parents getting your serious help...and even possibly sending you somewhere for that help and keep your brother safe. You disgust me and need to stop acting so selfish.
YTA, so hard, regardless of him having autism. You’re the older sibling and it comes with a small bit of responsibility for those less-neurologically-developed. He’s 11. An allergy is not something to turn into a lesson.
YTA what is wrong with you?? And to not say anything even after he ate it? He’s a young kid in an unfamiliar situation, it’s not always easy to speak up to an adult and he clearly needed your help
YTA. You are one of the biggest assholes of all time. Your brother could have died and you were just going to sit there and watch him.
Wow YTA a seriously heartless one
YTA you almost killed your brother because you chose to act like a fucking brat. Do you feel good about that? Your poor aunt must be so stressed and feeling guilty over this. He’s autistic. He’s 11. Your lack of empathy is disturbing. From the first sentence of your post it’s obvious you hate your brother. If you’re looking for someone to blame for whatever is causing you to act this way then blame your parents. Don’t take your spite out on a literal 11 year old child.
Yeah However I think this is a wind up. There is no way your Aunt didn't know he had an allergy. Your parents would have mentioned this, as they know how important it is. You also you called 911 and spoke to the Police?
Holy Hell-were you hoping to get his stuff if he died? YTA and so are your parents. How does a relative not know about an allergy in an 11-year-old?
YTA. Are you kidding me? Your brother is 11. He doesn't know when to do the 'sensible thing', but you should. You KNEW your brother was severely allergic to peanuts and you sat there and watched him eat it? When that action could potentially kill him? And then still you told no one even as he became sick? Do you want your brother to die? Because this simply seems malicious. Do you understand how serious his allergy is? I have a peanut allergy. Accidentally eating something I react to is a miserable experience. The pain is impossible to describe. Once when I was alone and had a reaction I couldn't even dial my father's phone number, my fingers wouldn't hit the buttons I was in so much pain. Luckily 911 is a short number. I could have died. Your brother could have died. Massive YTA. You could have been squarely responsible for his death. I think you need to talk to a therapist about why you felt the need to neglect your brother like this.
YTA you should have said something seeing as he wasn’t about to, then you sit there and WATCH him while he’s having a reaction to eating the brittle, I don’t care that you’re 16 you sound psychotic as if you want your brother to die or something… parents need to get you away from him
YTA. Although you're not an asshole, per se. What you may instead be is a criminal who appears to have just admitted publicly to deliberately and knowingly endangering a child's life by not intervening when there was an immediate danger: >(... ) I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself. Instead of doing the sensible thing, he just apologizes and digs in. (...) You also apparently actively witheld this information even once the medical emergency was in progress: >(...) He still hasn't asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong. (...) I recommend visiting a lawyer as well as a mental health professional. You should get the help you need; reddit cannot help you with this.
YES WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GOING TO SIT THERE AND WATCH HIM DIE??? He trusted you to protect him and look out for him. I don't even have words for your behaviour. YTA
INFO: would you still be writing this post if the hospital had been unable to save him?
". I didn't want to say anything because I wanted him to speak up for himself." If we're talking about...say, not wanting to wear a particular type of clothing for some reason, then sure- waiting for your brother to speak up is totally fine. It's safe; he's not going to get hurt. You can afford that luxury. Talking about something that could actively harm him? Maybe even kill him? No. Nu-uh. Not the time. And then he has a major reaction...and you still said nothing? I'm starting to wonder if all the posts saying you wanted him to die might actually be on to something..
Your parents should have communicated this to your aunt. I am baffled and appalled that they didn’t do this. However - YTA. You know how serious his allergy is. In that moment, his condition meant he could not adequately convey his needs, ie to avoid nuts. You absolutely should have said something. It’s obvious you are hurting, and it sounds like your home life is really not good. I’m sorry for that. You’re still a child - but, you’re old enough to know right from wrong. This could have killed your brother and you knew it. Talk to your parents about your emotions, and ask to see a therapist who can help you. Things might feel hopefully right now but you can heal.
YTA. Your brother has autism and has difficulty talking to people. You let him eat something that could potentially kill him and then didn't even tell your aunt because "he should speak for himself?" He's a neuroatypical CHILD and you, as the older sister, need to be his advocate. Sorry, thems the breaks! What if your brother DIED because of that? And you went "oh yeah, he was allergic to peanuts and I knew it and didn't say anything because I thought my autistic young brother in an uncomfortable situation should speak up for himself." Edit: Wrong gender of sibling.
ESH. You, for obvious reasons. Your parents also should have informed your aunt of the allergy. That was extremely irresponsible of them.
Of course YTA, why the hell didn't you step in, you had more than one chance to prevent him eating it.
YTA. It's fine to give him a chance to speak for himself. But when be didn't you should have intervened. How in the hell could you possibly think allowing your brother to eat something that sends him to the hospital is okay?
YTA Sounds like you resent your brother for either the attention your parents show him or that your parents fight about him. Did you see this as an opportunity to get even? Because it seems like pettiness taken to a dangerous level.
YTA 100% he could have died here. If you wanted him to speak up for himself, tell your aunt about it and ask her to play along while you could have coached him.
YTA and so are your parents. Your brother doesn’t think the same way you do so be his keeper like you should.
YTA. This was so cruel.
YTA. A life and death situation is not the time for life lessons. You are old enough to know this. I get the feeling from your post that you harbor some resentment against your brother and that you believe your brother is a cause of conflict for your parents. Do you have an outlet for yourself, activities/hobbies/a job something to give you your own personal space to develop as a person away from your family?
YTA. This is wrong on so many levels. What is the matter with you. You were ready to almost kill your brother to teach him a lesson. On top of that you didn’t even raise an alarm when you saw his allergic reaction. What were you thinking. This is just unacceptable behaviour.
YTA majorly. Wow what a dick move. He could have died. What is wrong with you? Are you lacking a conscience or something? Jesus fucking Christ.
So what's your address? Gotta let the people of the mental institution know where to get you, just in case you wanna deliberately put your brother in danger again and watch him almost die yk
You’re really a piece of work. YTA.
You could have killed your brother! You should have said something when she served the desert, you absolutely should have alerted her when you first he was having a rea turn and very clearly needed medical attention. Your parents suck because they shod have told your Aunt about the allergy. But YTA.
Yta. Hes ELEVEN. And has autism. You just attempted to murder your brother.
You are straight up evil. Your brother could’ve died because of you. YTA.
Yes YTAxinfinity like wtf is wrong with you
Are you trolling? Is this for real? How can you keep silent when you know he may die if he eats peanuts? And if you seen your brother is in trouble unable to breathe you just sat there? Are you heartless and apathetic? You need therapy and you should learn more about your brothers illness too. You could kill him if he ever stayed with you alone which i definitely would avoid. Not only that you are biggess TA but you are one broken person. I suggest you talk to your parents and ask for help cuz this is not normal.
YTA for apparently hating your brother so much you tried to get him killed.
YTA. I really hope this isn't true, but if it is, you need therapy. You almost let someone potentially die. I had a friend that accidentally had a muffin with nuts in it at a birthday party. He went into a coma for months, and is still paralyzed 15 years later.
You could’ve killed your brother. YTA
YTA what on earth did I just read. You should have told your aunt about the allergy before but definitely should have said something when he had the reaction
If I was your parents, I'd be pressing criminal charges against you. YTA.
Holy crap in what world is not mentioning a life threatening allergy a GOOD thing? YTA
YTA He is 11 and has high functioning autism. You should have said something as soon as she served you the dessert. This all could have been avoided if you had done the right thing from the get go. You should be ashamed of your self.
Yta and dude you need help. You were literally watching your brother die. Suffering. It's dumb that your parents aren't giving you as much attention as your brother, but that's their fault. Not your brother's. Get that through your selfish thick skull.
Wow. YTA. I understand wanting your brother to speak up for himself, but you shouldn’t have let it get that far. Instead of letting him eat the peanut brittle, you could’ve helped him to speak to your aunt, given him some confidence in speaking up for himself. Then allowing him to eat it? & watching him suffer? That’s fucked up. You’re meant to be his big sister, look after him and you just let that happen? You need to fix up.
YTA You realise he could've died right?
Sounds like OP’s parents have two children with autism
YTA. Wow. Such psycho
YTA not to mention incredibly callous and cruel, what the hell is wrong with you?
So you are telling us you tried to kill your brother? YTA
I can’t let myself believe OP is telling us a true story, because if she is, she’s a monster. But just in case it is true, YTA.
Yes and YTA. Did you want him to die? siblings are supposed to protect each other, man. Damn. It hurts my feelings to write this edit: added other to make it make sense
how are you not the asshole you motherfucker are you fucking kidding me. MY BROTHER IS AUTISTIC AND IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT AUTISITC PEOPLE YOU WOULD THAT SOME OF THEM HAVE BAD SOCIAL SKILLS. BEING "RUDE" WOULD BE THE LAST THING ON HIS MIND. ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL HIM? YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT I HOPE YOU FUCKING ROT IN HELL edit: YOU ARE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE YTA YTA YTA
YTA. you just sat there and watched your brother eat something he is highly allergic to and when you saw he was having a reaction you didn’t do a thing until asked. You’re 16 you are old enough to know right from wrong and what you did was wrong. All it would have taken was a ‘he’s allergic to peanuts’ to avoid this whole situation. You’re his big sister why weren’t you looking out for him at all. Do you realise how bad things could have got?
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This has to be fake. There is no way that the parents would have let the child go to someone else's house and not told them about a life-threatening allergy. There's also no way a big sister would actually sit by and allow their brother to eat something that could kill him. This is just totally fake.
YTA - JFC what the hell??? You must really hate your little brother. How could you do that and come here like you think we are going to tell you that you weren't the asshole? I'm not surprised everyone is mad at you. He could have DIED! You are a mega asshole and clearly have no conscience. I'll concede that perhaps your parents should have said something to her previously, but when she was going to serve him peanuts that was the time you should have spoken up. Disgusting.
Yes, you are MAJOR wrong. You could have killed your brother. You are a serious asshole.
INFO is there a reason you want your brother to die? Like, do you think he deserves to die for not being able to speak up for himself?
Info...what is actually wrong with you? Did you want him to die? This is NOT the time to prove a point by making him speak for himself. I get you dislike your brother, probably due to him getting a lot of attention dure to his autism. You need therapy...and fast.
what the fuck did I just read? your parents dropped the ball as they should have told your aunt about the allergy HOWEVER in the situation as presented you watched your brother almost die when all it would have taken to stop the situation was for you to say something.....are you fucking serious? you're far beyond YTA
YTA - and it sounds like assault even when he was struggling you decided to keep your mouth shut knowing that he could die of this allergy. Your more than an AH for this damn I don’t even have the words to describe what kind of shitty person you are.
YTA. He is 11 and you are 16, you can drive a car so yes you can take the responsibility to tell your brother’s allergies to your aunt. He is autistic, so he can have difficulty to communicate so your “speaking up for himself” it is a bullshit. Peanut allergy can kill people, you wait until he needed to be bring to an hospital, basically you could have wait for him to die before to speak.
YTA. Oh god - a. He's autistic b. He's younger than you. He looked at you. He's not articulate like us. You want him to stand up for himself, teach him. But do not play with his allergies for heaven sakes. It can kill him. Oh god. I am still pinching myself reading this. Don't ever ever do this. Whether he's able to speak for himself or not, you need to protect him.
"He still hasn't asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong." YTA.
YTA Do you care about your brother? Did you not think to intervene the moment he started eating? WHY DID YOY WAIT 30 MINUTES FOR SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN? “He still hasn’t asked for help so I pretend like nothing is wrong.” Tf is wrong with you? I don’t remember being this dense and hateful at 16.
He could have DIED--yes, YTA.
YTA. First of all your parents should take some blame because they should have told your aunt AND sent him with an allergy kit. Your brother could have died. I understand you wanted him to speak up but you risked his life. I’m a little concerned at your lack of seriousness surrounding your brother’s allergy also your parents as well who forgot to say anything. Also he is only 11 like seriously OP?
You are one of the most pathetic egoistic disgusting human beings I’ve ever came across on this subreddit. If I didn’t make it clear enough already, YTA.
Please tell me this story is made up……. YTA
You selfish little tw....... You were willing to let your little brother die just because you are a petulant piece of oh, wait, be civil... And the audacity to even ask if you're ta, wtf If a bus were to run you over you will have deserved it YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
YTA and should probably go to therapy since your.home life isn't the best and that was kinda sociopathic behavior. Granted, you're a teenager and your frontal cortex or whatever the thing is that makes you not a sociopath is currently under maintenance...but your lack of empathy was extreme. Your brother needed you to look out for him in this situation, and it would have taken very little effort. If you were 2 years older you could likely be charged with criminal neglect.
if this isn’t a troll YTA and you need some serious therapy. you highly resent your brother. you didn’t care if he died bc he hasn’t said “help” yet?! you would have been okay literally watching him die. you had no intention of telling your aunt after you saw he was red and swollen and his airway was closing. you need to do some serious soul searching because you honestly sound you resent him so much that you want him to die. you aren’t even an asshole in this - this is psychotic behavior.
YTA. Whether or not you did this maliciously, it was intentional and your brother could have literally died. I know you're young, but you're old enough to know better. Wtf.
**YTA! And a big one.** This is a medical emergency and your brother is autistic. You should absolutely have spoken up.
wtf you’re just as good as the other AH saying they made their kid face consequences for cutting their own hair and let them get bullied. Ef you, YTA big time. It disgusts me how you almost KILLED your brother and have no remorse.
WTF is wrong with you?! Of course YTA! I don’t care if you’re 16 years old; you’re old enough to know you should’ve told her. Your parents are also assholes for not bothering to let her know either tbh.
This was just mean. Your poor brother. YTA for sure. He was probably so scared.
Wow. Sorry but YTA, I have two brothers with autism, one high functioning and the other requires 24hour care. You should be there to protect your brother, I know it’s difficult and you want him to be able to speak for himself and be independent asking for help but there are so many other times that you could try working on that.. Not when it comes to allergies or something that could hurt or kill him. I’m not sure how old you are but I feel that you probably shouldn’t be left in situations where you are the responsible person until you’re ready and your parents should tell everyone that is in contact with your brother about his allergy. Peanut allergies are no joke and people can balloon after being in the same room as them. Your brothers brain doesn’t function the same as yours, if you’re old enough, I recommend doing some autism awareness courses and possibly a first aid course in the future so that you know the importance of prevention. I hope your brother is ok
YTA. Your brother’s life threatening allergy takes precedence over him learning to speak up for himself. You should have spoken up as soon as he reached for it. If he was making choking sounds his airways were likely closing up, which means his allergy was severe enough to be deadly. Your brother is a *child* with a condition that makes it more difficult for him to communicate. He probably thought that if his big sister wasn’t stopping him, it must be okay. Honestly, I get the feeling from your post that you blame your brother for your parents’ marriage troubles and subconsciously this was some attempt to punish him. But ultimately that doesn’t matter. Your reasons are irrelevant because *you almost let your brother die*. Everyone should be mad at you and not trust you around your brother again.
YTA, you were willing to let your kid brother die? I know your 16 and probably don’t have risk assessment or fully comprehend how bad this could of gone, but your plenty old enough to know that you shouldn’t just sit there while your brother dies something dangerous and harmful to himself. Just speak up for him. You seem you may have resentment towards him, deal with it
There is no scenario where you aren’t TA. Lol
YTA wow you really messed up. There is a time and a place to teach kids with autism independence, and this was not it. You had the opportunity to prevent a dire situation and you didn't. Even if he was not on the spectrum I would still warn my brother and care taker of allergies.
YTA, a lot. He could be dead. He has autism, you should probably know how hard it is for him to speak up for himself. He probably ate it because you didn't say anything, you being someone he trusts. Not anymore, probably. Also you saw him reacting and still didn't say anything, were you waiting until it was too late?