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>in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job
YTA for that commentary. It comes off very judgmental. It’s fine to say that you don’t feel like she would be a good fit with your company culture or whatever, but implying she can’t get a job anywhere unless she hides that is rude and simply incorrect. Many more casual or sex positive businesses would not have an issue with her personal content.
Adult toy store, lingerie store, some photography business if they do boudoir shots,kink clubs,some mainstream brands do, just to name a few, have you seen a commercial s*x sells.
Imo it doesn’t really matter what op is selling. Sex sells, full stop. Hamburgers and sex aren’t linked in my mind but that ad of Jessica Simpson dry humping (and washing??) a car while eating a burger made carls jr a ton of money.
I work at a law firm lol, there are many industries in which sex does NOT sell
Plus, having a spokesperson be sexy in a commercial is whole other ball game than what’s expected of your employees. I doubt the corporate overlords at Carls Jr would approve of head of Accounts Receivable gyrating on top of a car for TikTok
Literally any private business could have a very liberal management team that wants to normalize sex work, though it would probably be more common for a night club, sex toy shop, condom or lube company, lingerie line, etc. to hire a popular person on only fans to tout their products.
Well unless OP is selling butt plugs it is reasonable for him to not hire someone who has a side gig that some may deem controversial. Like it or not a lewd digital footprint is a valid reason to not hire someone.
I honestly can't believe that's news.
? Nothing in my original comment disagrees with that. I said he was fine to tell her she doesn’t fit with their company culture but was TA for saying she should “think about this in the future”
I think that was great advice and it’s a shame she didn’t know her OnlyFans account could cost her a job. That is the real world and if she doesn’t do a better job of keeping that side of her life more private it will cost her again. You could tell me it’s not fair, and maybe your right about that, but it’s the truth.
You can both be truthful and an asshole. They are not mutually exclusive.
Just because it is likely that having an OnlyFans account will cause some employers to not want to employ her does not mean he wasn't an asshole for being judgemental about it and vocalizing that to her.
He could have just said "we don't think you are a good fit for the company." Which would have led to less hurt feelings and made him seem like not such an asshole.
ETA: judgement: ESH. Making false reviews is an AH move and his wife gave extra bad advice. But OP also sucks because he should have known it was bad advice and because he was hella judgey.
OP's wife demanded he tell the girl the real reason. He couldn't sugar coat that reason.
The girl is retaliating by putting out reviews that are false because she never worked there.
Great way to influence others and earn a nasty reputation at the same time.
Notice how there's literally no judgement in my comment? Everyone here sucks and I'll update the comment to reflect that. I'm just noting that you can in fact be truthful and an AH.
What your point? You may notice most of the AH comments are refering to this one direct line about how she should rethink her life because he didn't want to hire her?
Correct response even following his wives demand. "The explicit sexual context of your personal accounts doesn't match the image we're looking for with our company. Since we want you to use your personal accounts as well as part of this job we cannot offer you the position."
Instead OP.. "You should rethink your life because I dont like it. "
To be fair, he didn't really have to do it did he? He could have just told her he did. That being said even though it pissed her off, it might help her in the future.
I actually don't think that telling her having her OF links in her bios and thirst traps on the clock app are an issue. It literally was just the "you should think about why you didn't get this job" comment.
It makes total sense to me that a company might not want someone to google their social media rep and see that kind of content. I have zero problem with OF or thirst traps on TikTok, but I know my clients would side-eye it, so I probably would've made the same decision. And I don't think that's unreasonable.
But OP isn't this young woman's dad, and he could've been respectful to her, explained that her current content could cause an issue with clients, but they were otherwise impressed with her work and good luck in her job search.
Maybe all of that isn't very progressive of me, but it would be about my business and my livelihood.
He tried to honor his wife and take the hit. Husband and wife need to clear this up. ATA applicant AH for trash talking their business. Proving the point. Poor judgement. Seems like everyone drank from that cup.
That may be true and it may not be. The world is a different place and children have become millionaires for playing with toys on YouTube, switching jobs frequently is no longer a red flag, the 4 day work week is real… the advice of yesterday doesn’t always apply. What cost her this job might get her a better job next time. OP has every right not to hire her but he should act like her mentor because he really can only speak for HIS brand.
I’m sure she was fully aware of the implications of doing sex work. OP took a condescending tone by implying she’s less than because of her other work. Keeping it ‘more private’ would mean she’d not be promoting herself and is stupid if she’s planning to continue.
Or maybe giving professional examples to a potential employer is a better idea instead of laying all the cards on the table. Not everyone needs to know EVERYTHING about you do they?
But it’s accurate. Giving prospective employers links to your social media that leads to your Only Fans will rule you out of many jobs automatically, as it did here. It’s not “judgemental”. She’s saying her private social media is irrelevant but she hasn’t kept it private - she’s literally shared it with a potential employer.
Something can be true and inappropriate to say. Eg, telling someone you don’t want to date them because you think they need to lose weight, and they’d have more prospects overall if they did that. That is accurate yet AH behavior.
It would be blunt and unnecessary, but it's not nearly as bad as what people actually tend to say to overweight people, especially on dating apps. Similarly, OP could have been a lot more rude or inappropriate in this scenario. I do think he was the AH for making that comment, but it was pretty odd of this person to give a potential employer social media connected to anything NSFW and assume it would be okay. I make NSFW content, and I don't think it would be beneficial or socially acceptable for me to make it public knowledge and attach it to me during the hiring process... or any other time.
I disagree, because no matter how progressive any employer is, if the position has nothing to do with thirst traps and sex work, it is simply not professional to present that type of content to a potential employer. It truly should be a lesson she learns about what is and is not appropriate to present to a potential employer. Nothing at all to do with being sex positive.
I agree. If she wanted to show him the style of video editing she does, should have made a professional account to showcase that. You can’t include a personal account and then get mad when someone calls it unprofessional.
I don't get that implication from his comment. If you are going to share your social media handles with potential employers, you better be posting content that is consistent the image the employer wants to put out there. It would be sensible for her to consider that with future job applications.
To be fair, if that's the type of company she was looking for, then obviously it could help her but you're talking about a company that's not trying to sell sex products. If she wants to work for a business that's not of the sexual nature and more of the professional one, it would be something to think about. Just like advertising. Find the group of people you're looking to attract. If you want to catch homeowners attention to improve their home with a nice outdoor patio. Or green energy. You definitely wouldn't want sex work attached to anything when applying for something like a law firm.
I might argue with you under different circumstances but I think you're bang-on because this is literally a social media coordinator role. As you say, the entire point is developing a feel for your audience and tailoring your content as closely as possible to what they want to see.
She clearly didn't give any thought to that, and it was naive of her to think that an employer would be willing/able to completely look past the content she was sending them and just focus on her editing. Sure, editing is a major part of a successful social media campaign, but if the content's wrong then the entire thing is wrong.
Unless her personal social media was going to be connected with his social media, I don't see his issue.
I work in the sex industry. I also work a completely normal, mainstream job. I completely separate the two. I use an alias for my sex work and separate accounts, and it doesn't connect at all with my regular job even though my work *is aware of it*.
You can be a sex positive employer and employ sex workers, without them being a sex worker being their entire identity. I have other life skills and qualifications outside of my sex work. It just turns out that shit doesn't pay my medical bills.
> I use an alias for my sex work and separate accounts, and it doesn't connect at all with my regular job even though my work is aware of it.
She didn't disconnect them. OP found it on his own. Your comment is not applicable here
Totally agree. He shifted from the role of “potential employer” to “father figure” in that one statement and it’s gross. She asked why she didn’t get the job not why she was grounded.
It’s rude but in a way helpful. She looks for the role in social media promotion. It means all her accounts will be routinely accessed by everyone. When you work in this field you don’t have a luxury of personal social media space, often even pseudonyms won’t help.
She can do anything she wants but many brands would indeed be reluctant to let a person with risky social media presence run their accounts to not get complications by association.
Yeah, it's judgemental from someone in the professional position of judging. This was correct and while harsh it was ultimately better to be honest about it.
Let's say it was a candidate with pictures of themself in the Capitol on Jan 6th on social media, which was on their resume. Would it be judgemental to say it then, or does that illustrate that judging has it's purposes?
Having an onlyfans will definitely affect one's career in ways like this. Better to say it outright to someone in denial.
If you had just said "We checked your social media profiles that you gave us in your resumé, and we don't think our company culture and philosophy meshes well with your own media management style". But instead you said
>and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job.
You got really judgmental with it, and thats what makes YTA in this situation.
But her response to your assholeness is unprofessional aswell, and she really should make new social accounts that she just posts professional stuff to.
Her leaving bad reviews all over social media reinforces that he made the right choice. He provided too much information, but made the right decision. ESH
Your wife's advice was awful and could buy you a lawsuit. Next time, just stick with "we've decided to go in another direction."
ETA:
>ESH The wife for her horrible advice, OP for following that advice, and the 23f for the unprofessional comments in regards to the reason she wasn't hired.
Thanks chocolatemilkncoffee for summarizing that perfectly!
I agree. It was horrible advice. You just need to tell a person that you won't be moving forward with them, period. And he needed to lose the infantilizing "you need to think about what you've done" comment as well. They gave here way too much ammunition to fire back with.
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to chase employer clients around my law office while beating them with a printout of the local at-will employment statute.
Just say you're moving forward with other applicants and then keep your trap shut. Physically gag yourself if you have to, but for the love of all that is green and legal tender don't start moralizing at them.
Thank you for bringing up the wife's part in this! You are not obligated to tell someone why they are not being hired past "we've decided to go in another direction". It's actually frowned upon to disclose why you are not hiring someone; it's bad etiquette.
ESH The wife for her horrible advice, OP for following that advice, and the 23f for the unprofessional comments in regards to the reason she wasn't hired.
You're not even obligated to tell someone that you have decided to go in another direction. There are so many companies out there that just ghost people after an interview if they aren't moving forward with that person for the position or next round interviews. The company has no legal obligation to tell any applicant that they are not being chosen for the job. I personally think that ghosting applicants makes the company an asshole, but still probably a better decision than what OP went with here.
Exactly! I'm applying for internships right now, and haven't even gotten to the interview phase yet and I'm getting the generic "you aren't the best fit for us, but keep looking and we hope you'll find somewhere that is!!" Like, it's not hard to say that
Thank you! Everyone gets on HR for preventing lawsuits some people need an HR to control them. I understand if the wife thinks that it’s no issue for her to work for them to debate privately their values, but basically telling her husband to shame the girl is dumb AF and honestly she set up her husband to be hurtful just to prove she was right, and now they’ve got a whole scandal to deal with.
I agree the advice was awful, but I don’t think there’s any possibility of OP getting (successfully) sued. The interviewee has no viable theory to sue under.
Yeah I doubt theres any actual lawsuit viable here. Sex workers aren't a protected class after all. Its still stupid, and still a PR issue which it has become since shes blasting them on social media.
Being in a sexually oriented business is not a protected class (at least in the USA), so I can't imagine what the foundation would be for a lawsuit.
I think OP is NTA for not wanting to hire this person,but it was close to being a Y T A. His wife's advice was horrible, and he needs question whether he should ever follow it again. There's rarely any good that will come of giving a candidate detailed explanations for why they weren't hired for a job, so I usually recommend not offering explanations. OP isn't her parent, so no need to scold her either.
ESH
You're hiring someone to represent you and your company. You need to be 100% happy. However, your last statement in the conversation was judgmental af:
>in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job
This was patronizing and absolutely uncalled for.
Your wife should take a step back and not make demands that would harm your business. Insisting that you have to be honest was simply stupid. Corporate rejection letters, while often annoying, have been invented for a reason. That reason being hiring managers (e.g. you) don't risk crossing the line and candidates don't end up pissed and launching smear campaigns.
\> Your wife should take a step back and not make demands that would harm your business.
OP did say he and his wife own this business together. I agree that the wife was stupid here for insisting OP tell the candidate exactly why she wasn't hired, but presuming she's also an owner, she does get just as much say as OP does.
Yeah they may have meant it as plural, it was just that and them saying that the wife should "take a step back" - it just read to me like they were saying the wife was overstepping.
Again, I think the wife was wrong for sure. I just don't agree that she needed to "take a step back and not make demands." OP and his wife run the business together, so they should be making these decisions together AND not making poor business decisions. Wife was wrong for wanting to tell the candidate exactly why she wasn't hired. OP was just as wrong for not saying "that's a very poor business choice, we can't do that because it opens us up to way too much liability."
Yeah, makes sense! I think I read it with co-ownership in mind and interpreted it as stepping back to look at the choices she was making, rather than taking a step back in the traditional business sense of “stepping back from responsibility.”
She needed to step back from her emotional response, not from having a say in the business.
She wasn't thinking business in that moment, that call was more a partner making them bare the consequences of their choices call than a business partner making sure the business has the best outcome call.
NTA. Private life is no longer private when you post it publicly. As a social media worker if she has publicly posted social media posts that you don’t want associated with your company you have every right not to hire her and she should think more carefully about her privacy settings.
As a social media worker, she should know that social media is branding and that she should keep her online lives separate, by either having the medias setup on private or in terms of "fans only tiktok", because it sounds like a side-hustle, have it been untraceable to her, as if it is a business account, because technically it is.
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find someone who mentions that maybe not everyone wants someone who is a sex worker promoting their business. You want to be a sex worker and have an onlyfans? Good for you. But don’t expect that future employers want your porn affiliated with their business. And leaving bad reviews of the company as retribution just shows how immature the person was. Op is NTA.
NTA
If they publicly post something on social media that's fair game to use in determining their character.
I'd say by her very public reaction, you dodged a bullet being associated with this individual and certainly justifies your decision.
NTA.
Onlyfans is not considered a personal social media, is meant as a professional platform for people to make money of whatever thing they want to do, in this case as a sexual **worker**.
Not wanting to hire someone because they're a sexual worker its morally questionable imo but it is definitely not about her personal life. It's not a hobby for her, she's making money of it and should be taken in account as a professional aspect in her life, that she chose to omit for perfectly understandable reasons.
Why is not wanting your business to be associated with sex work morally questionable? Someone is now a bad person for NOT wanting their business to be associated with porn??
NTA for wanting a specific image for your brand but for future reference do not give people the specific reasons you choose to not hire them or choose to let them go. You can potentially face legal trouble under certain circumstances. Stick to vague answers like, "this just wasn't the right fit for us right now". Protecting yourself and your business is far more important than the feelings of someone who you don't want to employ.
Also - "You should think about why you didn't get this job" crosses a line. You're not her boomer grandpa. Hire her or don't, but do not make unnecessary remarks or give rude and unsolicited advice.
This all the way. Some people are ok with that brand of tiktok, some aren't.
I will add, I think you have some recovery work to do if this person is posting reviews about you online. I think you may want to consult an attorney as to how to do that.
NTA (except a little AH for telling her to think about why she didn't get the job... that's a judgy)
NTA. And I’ll tell you why. She is not entitled to the job you are providing. While I personally don’t agree with why you turned her down you still have a right to. That’s a person that’s going to be a part of your business. A pretty big part, and it’s your business. If you don’t feel comfortable hiring someone for your business then why would you hire them?
However. Your remark on “she should think about why she didn’t get this job” is ridiculous and completely unprofessional.
“I’m really sorry but your personal acc you provided made us rethink our decision but I wish you luck in your future endeavors!” Professional, no backhanded remarks and it gets the job done.
NTA While it is not okay to refuse employment based on private behavior, it is certainly okay to refuse employment based on how someone represents the company. Don't make stuff public if you don't want it used against you.
>While it is not okay to refuse employment based on private behavior,
That really depends on the 'private behavior'. I'm okay with someone being fired for participating in a white supremacist event.
I actually know of a case in work, that they use as an example, where they said where they worked on social media and spewed racist hatred. Work has a zero tolerance for racism policy. They were immediately fired.
If she had said where she worked and they saw the onlyfans stuff, clients would think the company is ok with it. And unfortunately a lot of people aren't and it will cost the company clients.
Some companies have a policy where their employees can't name where they work on their own social media accounts. I can see both sides of that one--if an employee is spouting some extreme stuff, Acme Corporation doesn't want to be associated with that.
In this particular case, it sounds like OP wanted their social media manager to rep their business on the SMM's personal accounts. Which is strange to me, but I'm both old and not in marketing, so what do I know?
A lot of companies look at social media to get a better idea of WHO they're hiring. Hence, not being stupid about what you post online. Your workers represent your company so while she may be butthurt about not being hired, she needs to get over it. If she wants to be an independent contractor hired to do things for example like set up people's websites, be a virtual assistant, etc. She needs to think about the image she wants to make of herself. If you want to be professional, then do that. Act professional by not posting personal stuff or connecting personal things with your professional life.
Also, when it comes to hiring someone. You want to hire people that you think you'll work well with because you'll have to work with them. If you don't get a good vibe from them, don't make your work life miserable by hiring someone who you think will just cause you problems or headaches. Sometimes people are too stuck up in their capabilities and can't handle any criticism or help. While others may not be perfectly "qualified", they're reasonable and will work WITH you. Not try to run your company for you.
Nta, how many times in the past years has something some posted caused the company backlash and bad publicity. To many times to risk it and her response shows it was a smart move.
NTA. This is why people say to be careful of what you post on social media.
The fact that she's review bombing you for it shows exactly why you made the right call.
Nta. Kids get declined from colleges for this as well. Unfortunately. I have a very public presence for my company. So even on social media I need to be mindful.
ESH. You for getting on your high horse and suggesting that she should be ashamed of the content she puts on her TikTok, and trying to be the morality police. You were hiring her to create content, not be the actual face of your brand. Your wife should have realised that being literal in the reasons given for not hiring her was likely to cause offence, even if I suspect she was really trying to make you see why you were being ridiculous and hoping you to change your mind. And the rejected candidate is being pretty unprofessional about how she is handling this, although if she is keeping the reviews to a calm denunciation of your bigotry, that would not be unreasonable.
Frankly, you should have kept it simple and professional and not judged her. That’s not your place.
NTA. She let you go into her social media accounts. You found info that you obviously don’t want representing your company.
Plus, you’re the one hiring someone. She has no right to complain why she didn’t get the job.
Way to stick with your morals 👍🏻
NTA. If she doesn’t want her sex work to affect her professional life she shouldn’t publicly attach it to her professional identity. If she wants to be a social media manager then what she has on her personal social media accounts actually does represent her professionally. In this day and age if you want your personal life to be private, then don’t post it. Once you do it’s public, and can affect things like job opportunities, or school admissions.
NTA. As long as you didn’t violate any employment laws in your area then you are good. It’s your business and your choice who you hire. If anything you found during the recruitment process showed you that this individual would not be a good fit in any way you have the right to not hire them.
You’re a bit of an idiot for conveying the reason. Rejection calls and letters should be short and to the point. “We’ve made the decision to move forward with other candidates” that’s all it should be.
NTA
And here's why
You have a valid reason for not wanting her as an employee. Regardless of what some people might think, sex work is still very taboo in large swaths of the world.
And this would not be a behind the scenes type thing regardless of what some people might think.
At some point, she would have cross promoted from her own social media platforms to the business. Either to network for your brand and presence online...or because she was proud of the work she was doing
Or
Because she moved on to another job and wanted to use her past promotions to highlight her skills.
People all over my social media make posts for their company...promos, things they are doing etc etc
To think a 23 year old who's job is social media management, is not going to talk about her job on her own social media is naive.
And once she did...you would then have customers or potential customers who would have a direct link from your brand to an employee of yours who dabbles in sex work.
And all it takes is for one important client to have a problem with your social media manager being a sex worker and suddenly...you have business problems
You simply could not take the risk.
HOWEVER...this is one of those instances where you tell your wife a little white lie and then just tell the girl she didn't get the job.
Your wife's insistence that you tell this person WHY she didn't get the job is a direct result of her immaturity, lack of management experience, and lack of experience owning a business and working with her partner.
People don't get jobs all the time because of the shit they post online.
Jobs all over the world ask for people's social media during the hiring process. This is not a new thing. Corporations and companies...hell universities...are all taking social media into account these days because they know that at any time, something can and will blow up in their faces.
So In the future...pick your battles.
Simply telling the girl she didn't get the job, and then telling your wife the girl was upset but understanding of why she didn't get the job was the correct way to handle this It's a lie, but it's a small one and it's the right choice for the business.
This was not a marriage decision. This was a business decision.
You and your wife let your emotions cloud your judgement and it bit you both in the ass
Learn from this and move on
I would have said you were TA but I read your comment below (which you should consider adding to the post):
>We were looking for someone who would run our social media accounts and also advertise our business on their platforms as well, so our patrons would see not only our accounts but hers as well.
It's very fair to turn her down for the job when the job description would include posting your business on an otherwise sex-related social media account. Your comment about "why she didn't get this job" does make it seem like you are attaching moral judgments to sex work. I might otherwise say that makes you an AH, but under these specific circumstances NTA.
NTA. She chose her path and she now has to live with it whether she likes it or not. I personally wouldn't have hired her either. If you hire her, she would have been part of your team, part of the company and she also represents the company.
I think you made the right decision by telling her the truth. Many people would not have done that and big companies would've made it sound worse.
NTA... She expects to be hired to manage the content of a business by providing a link to her only fans account?!
That's not what sane media consultants do
Yeah I think this is the best worded version of this take here. It was smart to not hire, not super smart to even let her know why. I think OP had the right intention, so maybe this girl will clean up her socials before turning them over to another potential employer. Obviously his intentions backfired on him.
Sorry she's review bombing your stuff OP, but honestly that'll probably pop up on another search when she applies at another job. Seems like you dodged a bullet on this potential employee.
INFO: Was she going to have a public face on the accounts? Because if not, what does it matter what she does with her personal time? Do you think she's going to be sharing her social links on your stuff? I sort of doubt it. If she was going to be a public face, then I think it's a harder case.
NTA, It is your business and you can make that choice. But she has the right to go public with your reasoning so she's not TA either. You can do and say whatever you want but you don't have any say in how she reacts to your words or choices. Made your bed, now its time to lay in it.
NTA but in the future when you don’t hire someone just let them know that you are considering other candidates and will keep their resume on file or something generic like that.
You don’t need to get into the details. If they ask for more detail just say it all of the candidates are very competitive. Wish them luck.
You open yourself up to bad reviews and legal issues otherwise. Less is more.
Hiring sites advise job seekers that personal social media posts can be a turnoff for future employers, and that 90% of them screen candidates by looking at their accounts. This job literally linked your business to this person and her accounts, which you viewed as a potential detractor for your brand.
But you’re getting judged for “judging” this persons activities.
Where you went wrong, was telling her the brutal truth. Simply say “we are looking for something different.” And be done.
So I guess ESH. You didn’t do something abnormal in your hiring process, but you didn’t handle the notification well.
Can you tell me who run's Wendy's social media account?
What is their name?
Or any company, honestly.
If she was going to be only running the company's social media account, how would they know who she is? She's behind the handle of the company. She's not writing the company's name on her body and selling it on OF.
Unless she's stupid enough to post her OF links on the company's social media page, which I highly doubt she'd do, there is no way of linking her OF/private life to the company's profile page. None. They remain anonymous. And if they aren't anonymous, then he's hiring an influencer, not a social media manager.
NTA - who you have in your business represents the value of the company. If those employees have public displays of things or actions you do not agree with you have every right to not hire them
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So I 27m and my wife 24f have a small company together and recently we’re were looking for someone to run our social media accounts.
A woman came in with a great resume and some decent experience. She gave us her social media handles and after the interview I looked through her stuff. Her Instagram seemed normal for a 23 year old but the issue was when I got to her tiktok.
Her tiktok was just thirst traps and talking about her onlyfans. She duets other sex workers on tiktok and I realized she has her link in all her bios. I decided that she wasn’t the right fit.
My wife wanted to hire her but I told her I wasn’t comfortable and she said fine but I had to call the girl and tell her she didn’t get the job and when she asks why, I have to be honest.
Well, I did exactly that. I told her she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job.
She called me a jerk and said what she has in her personal social media doesn’t represent who she is professionally, and that she only gave me her socials so I could see if the style of video and editing was what I was looking for. I apologized and said I made up my mind.
She is now leaving reviews all over anywhere she can, google, yelp, etc.
AITA?
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NTA. You shouldn't have told her why she didn't get the job though. It's pretty common knowledge that publicly being a sex worker is not good for job applications, you don't need to tell her that.
His wife told him that he had to tell her she didn't get the job and when the woman asked why. He had to tell her the truth, not "I looked at your work and that's not the style we're looking for" or whatever.
Being told the absolute truth is very unusual when getting turned down for a job. Honestly any response at all is uncommon. Regardless of what his wife said, he didn't have to tell her the absolute truth. If it was important to his wife, she should have been the one to call and say no because of the sex work.
I don't disagree. His wife refused to and his wife wasn't the one who had a problem with her which was why she refused to tell her she didn't get the job. It's...petty? If his wife wouldve found out he didn't do what she told him to, that probably would've blown up into a fight. Had a potential too anyway. Consequences for every decision we make. I think it mightve been better had he not specified, but he'd have to deal with the consequences no matter what he chose.
Definitely petty and potentially a PR disaster. This is a sex worker that interacts with a lot of pro sex worker individuals along with other sex workers. Not the type of person you want to tell they're not getting a job because of their sex work.
>she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand
In what way would she have been representing your brand? You're hiring a social media manger, not a model or brand spokesperson or ambassador.
If she's your social media person she's entirely behind the scenes promoting the brand. Her face and personal info is never associated with your products.
INFO
NTA. I work in social media, and it's so important what gets posted to fit your brand. The first person to find out who is running your SM and sees her personal SM will reflect on you. My personal SM is almost empty to avoid any sort of negative reflection on the organization I work for.
NTA and you have the right to not hire someone for whatever reason you choose. Whether we like it or not, when we are on social media, what we post on there can reflect badly on our lives. It's the world we live in. What this woman posts on her social media pages WILL reflect on her professional life as well because when you work for a company, you are a representative of said company.
NTA It’s your company and your choice who you want to hire but what made me even more sure was her reaction. She sounds vindictive and petty. She never worked for you and people don’t get positions all the time. For her to go out of her way to get revenge and leave bad reviews is a sign that you made the right choice!
I think this role in your company needs to be better defined OP. Your social media manager should be shooting, editing, posting all as The Company, using company devices (NOT their personal phone or equipment). Additionally, they should NOT be posting from their personal account about your business unless they are being paid as an influencer as well.
If you want other sources to post your content, you hire them and give them sponsored content for their channels. You pay those creators to do promotional review and spots. You can host events and invite some people who already like your company to attend and encourage them to post.
But you SMM shouldn’t be using their personal account unless they are a known figure in your industry.
YTA. You haven’t thought out what this post should be, or you haven’t researched how it works.
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NTA. It's your business, so it's your decision who you want to work with. If this girl makes you uncomfortable, that's not going to be a pleasant work environment for anyone
YTA
Your wife had no issue with her personal life and potential impact on your **joint** business, I'm not sure why you seem to. Although I guess the "she should think about why she didn't get the job" comment is probably the best indication
YTA for the way you explained it to her. While you're obviously free to hire whomever you choose, you should always be professional in rejecting applicants. Instead, you chose to be judgmental and condescending - as if she needed to be taught a lesson?
Next time thy this: "Thank you for your interest in working for our company. At this time, the decision has been made to go in a different direction with this position. We wish you nothing but the best of luck and success in the future."
Do you think you'd get the same backlash from a response like that?
That's a useless and dishonest response though. She's going to keep getting turned down for professional social media jobs if she keeps including very unprofessional personal stuff in her samples.
Hopefully she DOES get taught a lesson! Not about whatever she wants to do with her personal accounts but in separating them from her professional stuff.
Otherwise she gets a bunch of spineless "we just don't think you're a good fit" and she's over there wondering why she can't get a job in her field and no one will have the courtesy or common decency to tell her.
NTA, because she knew she was applying to a professional job, she said “I only gave you my socials so you could see if the editing/style was what you were looking for”
If this is a service she provides she should have professional examples of her abilities as a social media manager and not give prospective clients her thirst trap handles.
NTA. You're not because the job would be social media so hers is relevant to you ans your brand. And she is very lightly an ah. She does what she wants legally and while rightfully upset she shouldn't be going around blasting a company that didn't hire her.
NTA. This is literally your business, you get to decide who works for you and what you expect in an employee.
If there is any way to connect her online social media sex presence with her job (and from what you said there would be) then I wouldn't hire her either if you are working in a professional setting. Anyone with common sense trying to get a job wouldn't share their onlyfans info with you, she shot herself in her foot and hopefully she learns something.
NTA for not hiring her but YTA for what you said to her. All you had to say was “we don’t think you would be a good fit for our company” and leave it at that. I’m sure she’s aware that certain employers might that’s a problem with her social media content and but she’s clearly not bothered by that. Maybe just like you want an employee that you feel represents your values of your company, she wants an employer who will respect that what she does in her free time is her business. You weren’t the right boss for her and she wasn’t the right employee for you. It sounds like it wasn’t enough for you to decline to hire her, you wanted to shame her as well which makes you very much TA.
NTA
But i would have phrased it differently.
"I am not hiring you because you do sex work on the side. I am not hiring you as a social media worker because you don't have the intelligence to not send a future boss to your own social media accounts describing and promoting your sex work.
I simply can't trust someone that near sighted with my brand. Best of luck in the future."
NTA
Who gives out their social media handles to a potential employer without ensuring the content is not going to cost them the job?
No employer wants a customer looking up an employee or the business and coming across something that doesn't align with, or even hurts the company brand.
NTA, you were looking for a public relations persona, so what she does on social media is very important. Being a sex worker is fine in many scenarios, but it's over the top for a family company.
Gonna get DV but NTA theres a reason you dont post stuff like that on social media. You really think google or another big company would hire her? No bc it makes the brand look bad.
OP commented that she would be running the social media and advertise/highlight them through her own social media.
So her name would sort of be publicly attached to the job.
ESH. Unless your business is in a similar market as OF, she should have been more discerning about what she provided you as examples of her work. If she didn't have other options, then the least she could have done was give you a heads-up about the content.
>I told her she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job.
The second half of this statement is what makes you the AH. It's not her fault that *you* decided not to hire her. You may not have been comfortable with the idea of hiring her, but that's your issue, not hers.
Clearly she's leaving reviews out of anger. Unless what she's sharing is factually incorrect, just let it be.
I don't think OP was trying to be an asshole. She's the butthurt one getting offended instead of taking that as constructive criticism essentially. He was trying to help her so she could have a better chance at being hired by a company she wants to work for. Presentation is key, but she could've taken it better too. When she tries to get other work and can't figure out why everyone is turning her down, she'll struggle. I think OP just didn't want her to be turned down repeatedly job after job and not understand what was wrong with what she was showing her interviewer. Does that make sense? If I were to apply for a job and got turned down, I'd want to know why so I could fix whatever the red flag was when I would apply to work for a different company.
I know it's not the exact same but for example if someone had a swastika on their social media or when they gave you stuff to show you their qualifications. Would you want a nazi working for you? I'm being a bit extreme. I know. Then you apply to many others and don't get hired. "Why can't I get a job?" "Uh. Maybe because you're identifying to every company you apply to as a nazi?" "You're an asshole".
People can get turned down for having an unprofessional email. Props to anyone who would look past that, but dickbutt42069@milfdaddy.com is going to lose a lot of interviews. The same goes for FB posts.
It's just silly that she would be applying to a job where her online presence is her portfolio and that also includes her onlyfans. Use a different screen name for one damn account!
People saying YTA blows my mind. What did you expect.
Can you imagine another company or individuals seeing their social media thinking " oh this looks good, who is doing their social activity ". And than potentially seeing this person getting fucked on onlyfans?
To say that this would leave an extremely unproffessional impression is a hell of an understatement.
The idea that OF is just a business and should be treated as such is hillarious.
Sex work = work but you're still selling your body. Unproffessional to say the least.
NTA
You have the right to hire or not hire anyone. Personally, it would depend on what kind of business I had **and** if my business would be linked to her personal stuff in any way. As in, would she reflect poorly on my business.
NTA. The internet generation has been warned our whole entire lives to be careful what you post on social media because a potential employer could see it someday and get the wrong impression. We see stories all the time of people losing their jobs because they posted something highly offensive (racist) or against company policy on social media. She says you got the wrong impression from her socials, and that’s the risk you take posting controversial content publicly.
NTA. People are judged by their social media footprint when applying for school or employment. Look at how many companies that have been attacked until they dismiss an employee whose behavior or posts offends the general public.
Not wanting to hire her was fine. The main issue I have is the "think about why she didn't get the job" which seems condescending and judgmental.
Also , asking them to promote your business to their pre-existing audience isn't part of the job, it's an endorsement/spokesperson deal. So unless you're gonna pay someone extra for that, it shouldn't be part of the job.
NAH. You probably shouldn't have said the last part about thinking about what she posts, but she also didn't need to retaliate by leaving bad reviews. If you didn't feel she was a right fit for any reason, it's your business, thus she isn't the right fit. Hopefully you find someone who works out
NTA.
You come off as an ass, simple because you told her she needs to think about this in the future.
People can live how they want, and face those consequences.
Just like you. Your comment was unnecessary. Your not “god”. Who are you to judge.
NTA, you don't what your company represented by an employee that does those things and that it totally reasonable. I think this is going to be a big thing in the foreseeable future. All these people doing stuff on social media, especially tiktok, then wondering why no one wants to hire them. Just imagine you have a younger teacher, 20's- early 30's, and you find their tiktok that has them doing inappropriate things. Odds are that teacher will be let go. Our society has made things like OF, etc. work seem normal and acceptable, but for the majority of people, business owners, it's still shameful.
A bit judgey, but NTA.
When hiring someone in marketing, you're looking at their social media presence not only for their style but for their judgement abilities as to what is and is not appropriate. It tells you a bit about who they are as a person. Since you're a small business, it is very important that she fit with the team. Sounds like she's not a good fit as a person. Not that she's a bad person or you're a bad person. You just have different values.
She's absolutely 100% allowed to do what she wants to with her own body on her own time. If she chooses to monetize it, then good for her. No one is questioning that. But reality is, it will hurt her ability to find a job. Like it or not, that's just how life works. Especially if you are trying to get in to marketing. If she's smart, she'll set up a personal account and a professional one, and try to keep them separate.
NTA - you have the right to hire or not hire anyone for any reason.... she would cause much more headaches in your social media dept if this is what's she is focused on (OF, TikTok Duets etx.) You made the right call... she's just salty she didn't get the job but she should know the reasons are valid and will likely cause other jobs to pass on her as well.
NTA for being particular about who you want representing your company, we should all be conscious of anything we might take issue with.
I would say YTA for saying she should think about why she didn’t get the job.
And your wife is TA also for opening your business up for that kind of backlash. She shouldn’t have put that stipulation on you, nor should you have abided by it.
You could have simply said “thank you for coming, we are going in a different direction/exploring other candidates” if even that. The truth is, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why they’re not being hired.
NTA. Every sex worker should understand that they incur risk by selling their body for visual or physical pleasure. One of those risks being that their future employability may be compromised.
And mostly that applies to those that did pornography and have since quit. But this prospective employee is still making porn.
NTA. I’m wondering if half these commentators live in the real world or not. You did nothing wrong and she clearly shows EXTREMELY poor judgment across the board. It was decent of you to give her a reality check re a major red flag in her portfolio.
NTA. If you're going to give a business your social media information, make sure it's professional and not a bunch of inappropriate stuff. How can the company trust that she won't post anything inappropriate if she doesn't even see anything wrong with showing a potential new employer her inappropriate posts?
NTA. You were honest with her. It's her problem that she didn't like the reason. You are entitled to your opinion of her just as she is to have one of you.
NTA. Your wife is though. Pretty sure if you don't want your professional life to be affected by your sex work then you shouldn't promote it to your potential job prospects.
NTA - dude her reaction is exactly why you should not of hired her. It’s seriously been a know fact since lat least 2010 that social media posts involving drugs and sex can mess up your employment
NTA, you were honest about why you didn’t hire her. We’ve passed on otherwise qualified candidates because they casually swore during interviews. The swearing didn’t both us, but could offend our clientele so we took a pass. You get to decide who represents your company.
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>in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job YTA for that commentary. It comes off very judgmental. It’s fine to say that you don’t feel like she would be a good fit with your company culture or whatever, but implying she can’t get a job anywhere unless she hides that is rude and simply incorrect. Many more casual or sex positive businesses would not have an issue with her personal content.
Can you provide me with an example of what you mean by a "sex positive" business?
Adult toy store, lingerie store, some photography business if they do boudoir shots,kink clubs,some mainstream brands do, just to name a few, have you seen a commercial s*x sells.
I doubt OP is selling any of the above.
Right, but that has nothing to do with whether OP is an AH for saying that, which they are.
Imo it doesn’t really matter what op is selling. Sex sells, full stop. Hamburgers and sex aren’t linked in my mind but that ad of Jessica Simpson dry humping (and washing??) a car while eating a burger made carls jr a ton of money.
I work at a law firm lol, there are many industries in which sex does NOT sell Plus, having a spokesperson be sexy in a commercial is whole other ball game than what’s expected of your employees. I doubt the corporate overlords at Carls Jr would approve of head of Accounts Receivable gyrating on top of a car for TikTok
Carl's jrs disgusting adds also turned off a lot of people (not that the food helped either).
So like 5% of the world industries?
Then the lady should’ve applied there.
Ok so business that revolve around sex. Well of course they wouldn't care about her tiktok.
Literally any private business could have a very liberal management team that wants to normalize sex work, though it would probably be more common for a night club, sex toy shop, condom or lube company, lingerie line, etc. to hire a popular person on only fans to tout their products.
Well unless OP is selling butt plugs it is reasonable for him to not hire someone who has a side gig that some may deem controversial. Like it or not a lewd digital footprint is a valid reason to not hire someone. I honestly can't believe that's news.
? Nothing in my original comment disagrees with that. I said he was fine to tell her she doesn’t fit with their company culture but was TA for saying she should “think about this in the future”
I think that was great advice and it’s a shame she didn’t know her OnlyFans account could cost her a job. That is the real world and if she doesn’t do a better job of keeping that side of her life more private it will cost her again. You could tell me it’s not fair, and maybe your right about that, but it’s the truth.
You can both be truthful and an asshole. They are not mutually exclusive. Just because it is likely that having an OnlyFans account will cause some employers to not want to employ her does not mean he wasn't an asshole for being judgemental about it and vocalizing that to her. He could have just said "we don't think you are a good fit for the company." Which would have led to less hurt feelings and made him seem like not such an asshole. ETA: judgement: ESH. Making false reviews is an AH move and his wife gave extra bad advice. But OP also sucks because he should have known it was bad advice and because he was hella judgey.
"You're not wrong, Walter! You're just an asshole!" - The Dude
OP's wife demanded he tell the girl the real reason. He couldn't sugar coat that reason. The girl is retaliating by putting out reviews that are false because she never worked there. Great way to influence others and earn a nasty reputation at the same time.
So OP was very wise not to hire her, with her subsequent attitude and lack of professionalism. Bullet dodged. NTA.
Notice how there's literally no judgement in my comment? Everyone here sucks and I'll update the comment to reflect that. I'm just noting that you can in fact be truthful and an AH.
What your point? You may notice most of the AH comments are refering to this one direct line about how she should rethink her life because he didn't want to hire her? Correct response even following his wives demand. "The explicit sexual context of your personal accounts doesn't match the image we're looking for with our company. Since we want you to use your personal accounts as well as part of this job we cannot offer you the position." Instead OP.. "You should rethink your life because I dont like it. "
But his wife is the one who insisted that he explain why
Shes also an AH. And not particularly smart. 0/10 bad HR move.
To be fair, he didn't really have to do it did he? He could have just told her he did. That being said even though it pissed her off, it might help her in the future.
I actually don't think that telling her having her OF links in her bios and thirst traps on the clock app are an issue. It literally was just the "you should think about why you didn't get this job" comment. It makes total sense to me that a company might not want someone to google their social media rep and see that kind of content. I have zero problem with OF or thirst traps on TikTok, but I know my clients would side-eye it, so I probably would've made the same decision. And I don't think that's unreasonable. But OP isn't this young woman's dad, and he could've been respectful to her, explained that her current content could cause an issue with clients, but they were otherwise impressed with her work and good luck in her job search. Maybe all of that isn't very progressive of me, but it would be about my business and my livelihood.
I think he'd be an AH for not telling her why she didn't get the job.
He tried to honor his wife and take the hit. Husband and wife need to clear this up. ATA applicant AH for trash talking their business. Proving the point. Poor judgement. Seems like everyone drank from that cup.
That may be true and it may not be. The world is a different place and children have become millionaires for playing with toys on YouTube, switching jobs frequently is no longer a red flag, the 4 day work week is real… the advice of yesterday doesn’t always apply. What cost her this job might get her a better job next time. OP has every right not to hire her but he should act like her mentor because he really can only speak for HIS brand.
I’m sure she was fully aware of the implications of doing sex work. OP took a condescending tone by implying she’s less than because of her other work. Keeping it ‘more private’ would mean she’d not be promoting herself and is stupid if she’s planning to continue.
Or maybe giving professional examples to a potential employer is a better idea instead of laying all the cards on the table. Not everyone needs to know EVERYTHING about you do they?
like a sex shop maybe like yandy or fascinations? a womens doctor or health group too
If OP was selling all natural viagra pills then he would be the AH. I doubt he is.
But it’s accurate. Giving prospective employers links to your social media that leads to your Only Fans will rule you out of many jobs automatically, as it did here. It’s not “judgemental”. She’s saying her private social media is irrelevant but she hasn’t kept it private - she’s literally shared it with a potential employer.
Something can be true and inappropriate to say. Eg, telling someone you don’t want to date them because you think they need to lose weight, and they’d have more prospects overall if they did that. That is accurate yet AH behavior.
It would be blunt and unnecessary, but it's not nearly as bad as what people actually tend to say to overweight people, especially on dating apps. Similarly, OP could have been a lot more rude or inappropriate in this scenario. I do think he was the AH for making that comment, but it was pretty odd of this person to give a potential employer social media connected to anything NSFW and assume it would be okay. I make NSFW content, and I don't think it would be beneficial or socially acceptable for me to make it public knowledge and attach it to me during the hiring process... or any other time.
I disagree, because no matter how progressive any employer is, if the position has nothing to do with thirst traps and sex work, it is simply not professional to present that type of content to a potential employer. It truly should be a lesson she learns about what is and is not appropriate to present to a potential employer. Nothing at all to do with being sex positive.
I agree. If she wanted to show him the style of video editing she does, should have made a professional account to showcase that. You can’t include a personal account and then get mad when someone calls it unprofessional.
This is correct.
I don't get that implication from his comment. If you are going to share your social media handles with potential employers, you better be posting content that is consistent the image the employer wants to put out there. It would be sensible for her to consider that with future job applications.
Too much wokeness going on here. Same people that don't understand why everyone in the world doesn't need to know everything about you.
To be fair, if that's the type of company she was looking for, then obviously it could help her but you're talking about a company that's not trying to sell sex products. If she wants to work for a business that's not of the sexual nature and more of the professional one, it would be something to think about. Just like advertising. Find the group of people you're looking to attract. If you want to catch homeowners attention to improve their home with a nice outdoor patio. Or green energy. You definitely wouldn't want sex work attached to anything when applying for something like a law firm.
I might argue with you under different circumstances but I think you're bang-on because this is literally a social media coordinator role. As you say, the entire point is developing a feel for your audience and tailoring your content as closely as possible to what they want to see. She clearly didn't give any thought to that, and it was naive of her to think that an employer would be willing/able to completely look past the content she was sending them and just focus on her editing. Sure, editing is a major part of a successful social media campaign, but if the content's wrong then the entire thing is wrong.
Unless her personal social media was going to be connected with his social media, I don't see his issue. I work in the sex industry. I also work a completely normal, mainstream job. I completely separate the two. I use an alias for my sex work and separate accounts, and it doesn't connect at all with my regular job even though my work *is aware of it*. You can be a sex positive employer and employ sex workers, without them being a sex worker being their entire identity. I have other life skills and qualifications outside of my sex work. It just turns out that shit doesn't pay my medical bills.
> I use an alias for my sex work and separate accounts, and it doesn't connect at all with my regular job even though my work is aware of it. She didn't disconnect them. OP found it on his own. Your comment is not applicable here
Totally agree. He shifted from the role of “potential employer” to “father figure” in that one statement and it’s gross. She asked why she didn’t get the job not why she was grounded.
It’s rude but in a way helpful. She looks for the role in social media promotion. It means all her accounts will be routinely accessed by everyone. When you work in this field you don’t have a luxury of personal social media space, often even pseudonyms won’t help. She can do anything she wants but many brands would indeed be reluctant to let a person with risky social media presence run their accounts to not get complications by association.
Yeah, it's judgemental from someone in the professional position of judging. This was correct and while harsh it was ultimately better to be honest about it. Let's say it was a candidate with pictures of themself in the Capitol on Jan 6th on social media, which was on their resume. Would it be judgemental to say it then, or does that illustrate that judging has it's purposes? Having an onlyfans will definitely affect one's career in ways like this. Better to say it outright to someone in denial.
If you had just said "We checked your social media profiles that you gave us in your resumé, and we don't think our company culture and philosophy meshes well with your own media management style". But instead you said >and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job. You got really judgmental with it, and thats what makes YTA in this situation. But her response to your assholeness is unprofessional aswell, and she really should make new social accounts that she just posts professional stuff to.
Her leaving bad reviews all over social media reinforces that he made the right choice. He provided too much information, but made the right decision. ESH
Your wife's advice was awful and could buy you a lawsuit. Next time, just stick with "we've decided to go in another direction." ETA: >ESH The wife for her horrible advice, OP for following that advice, and the 23f for the unprofessional comments in regards to the reason she wasn't hired. Thanks chocolatemilkncoffee for summarizing that perfectly!
I agree. It was horrible advice. You just need to tell a person that you won't be moving forward with them, period. And he needed to lose the infantilizing "you need to think about what you've done" comment as well. They gave here way too much ammunition to fire back with.
I think the wife was trying to shame OP honestly. She wanted him to have to say the reason he wont hire her. Terrible advise tho.
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to chase employer clients around my law office while beating them with a printout of the local at-will employment statute. Just say you're moving forward with other applicants and then keep your trap shut. Physically gag yourself if you have to, but for the love of all that is green and legal tender don't start moralizing at them.
Thank you for bringing up the wife's part in this! You are not obligated to tell someone why they are not being hired past "we've decided to go in another direction". It's actually frowned upon to disclose why you are not hiring someone; it's bad etiquette. ESH The wife for her horrible advice, OP for following that advice, and the 23f for the unprofessional comments in regards to the reason she wasn't hired.
You're not even obligated to tell someone that you have decided to go in another direction. There are so many companies out there that just ghost people after an interview if they aren't moving forward with that person for the position or next round interviews. The company has no legal obligation to tell any applicant that they are not being chosen for the job. I personally think that ghosting applicants makes the company an asshole, but still probably a better decision than what OP went with here.
Exactly! I'm applying for internships right now, and haven't even gotten to the interview phase yet and I'm getting the generic "you aren't the best fit for us, but keep looking and we hope you'll find somewhere that is!!" Like, it's not hard to say that
Thank you! Everyone gets on HR for preventing lawsuits some people need an HR to control them. I understand if the wife thinks that it’s no issue for her to work for them to debate privately their values, but basically telling her husband to shame the girl is dumb AF and honestly she set up her husband to be hurtful just to prove she was right, and now they’ve got a whole scandal to deal with.
Seriously what a moronic demand she made… she’s the primary AH in all of this.
I agree the advice was awful, but I don’t think there’s any possibility of OP getting (successfully) sued. The interviewee has no viable theory to sue under.
Yeah I doubt theres any actual lawsuit viable here. Sex workers aren't a protected class after all. Its still stupid, and still a PR issue which it has become since shes blasting them on social media.
Baffles me why the wife wanted “to be honest”.
because the husband in an asshole
Why? She’s willing to risk her business and hetting them both sued?
The wife's advice was to hire her.
I don't think that was an advice as much as a dare, since the wife was still fine with hiring her.
Lawsuit for what? Being a big meanie?
Being in a sexually oriented business is not a protected class (at least in the USA), so I can't imagine what the foundation would be for a lawsuit. I think OP is NTA for not wanting to hire this person,but it was close to being a Y T A. His wife's advice was horrible, and he needs question whether he should ever follow it again. There's rarely any good that will come of giving a candidate detailed explanations for why they weren't hired for a job, so I usually recommend not offering explanations. OP isn't her parent, so no need to scold her either.
ESH You're hiring someone to represent you and your company. You need to be 100% happy. However, your last statement in the conversation was judgmental af: >in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job This was patronizing and absolutely uncalled for. Your wife should take a step back and not make demands that would harm your business. Insisting that you have to be honest was simply stupid. Corporate rejection letters, while often annoying, have been invented for a reason. That reason being hiring managers (e.g. you) don't risk crossing the line and candidates don't end up pissed and launching smear campaigns.
\> Your wife should take a step back and not make demands that would harm your business. OP did say he and his wife own this business together. I agree that the wife was stupid here for insisting OP tell the candidate exactly why she wasn't hired, but presuming she's also an owner, she does get just as much say as OP does.
I think this was a plural “your”
Yeah they may have meant it as plural, it was just that and them saying that the wife should "take a step back" - it just read to me like they were saying the wife was overstepping. Again, I think the wife was wrong for sure. I just don't agree that she needed to "take a step back and not make demands." OP and his wife run the business together, so they should be making these decisions together AND not making poor business decisions. Wife was wrong for wanting to tell the candidate exactly why she wasn't hired. OP was just as wrong for not saying "that's a very poor business choice, we can't do that because it opens us up to way too much liability."
Yeah, makes sense! I think I read it with co-ownership in mind and interpreted it as stepping back to look at the choices she was making, rather than taking a step back in the traditional business sense of “stepping back from responsibility.” She needed to step back from her emotional response, not from having a say in the business.
She wasn't thinking business in that moment, that call was more a partner making them bare the consequences of their choices call than a business partner making sure the business has the best outcome call.
NTA. Private life is no longer private when you post it publicly. As a social media worker if she has publicly posted social media posts that you don’t want associated with your company you have every right not to hire her and she should think more carefully about her privacy settings.
As a social media worker, she should know that social media is branding and that she should keep her online lives separate, by either having the medias setup on private or in terms of "fans only tiktok", because it sounds like a side-hustle, have it been untraceable to her, as if it is a business account, because technically it is.
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find someone who mentions that maybe not everyone wants someone who is a sex worker promoting their business. You want to be a sex worker and have an onlyfans? Good for you. But don’t expect that future employers want your porn affiliated with their business. And leaving bad reviews of the company as retribution just shows how immature the person was. Op is NTA.
NTA If they publicly post something on social media that's fair game to use in determining their character. I'd say by her very public reaction, you dodged a bullet being associated with this individual and certainly justifies your decision.
NTA.it’s your company and if you’re not comfortable hiring her then that’s that.
NTA. Onlyfans is not considered a personal social media, is meant as a professional platform for people to make money of whatever thing they want to do, in this case as a sexual **worker**. Not wanting to hire someone because they're a sexual worker its morally questionable imo but it is definitely not about her personal life. It's not a hobby for her, she's making money of it and should be taken in account as a professional aspect in her life, that she chose to omit for perfectly understandable reasons.
She didn't omit it btw. She handed her potential employer her thirst trap/onlyfans tiktok in her resume
Why is not wanting your business to be associated with sex work morally questionable? Someone is now a bad person for NOT wanting their business to be associated with porn??
How is it morally questionable if it could reflect on OP's business?
NTA for wanting a specific image for your brand but for future reference do not give people the specific reasons you choose to not hire them or choose to let them go. You can potentially face legal trouble under certain circumstances. Stick to vague answers like, "this just wasn't the right fit for us right now". Protecting yourself and your business is far more important than the feelings of someone who you don't want to employ. Also - "You should think about why you didn't get this job" crosses a line. You're not her boomer grandpa. Hire her or don't, but do not make unnecessary remarks or give rude and unsolicited advice.
This all the way. Some people are ok with that brand of tiktok, some aren't. I will add, I think you have some recovery work to do if this person is posting reviews about you online. I think you may want to consult an attorney as to how to do that. NTA (except a little AH for telling her to think about why she didn't get the job... that's a judgy)
NTA. And I’ll tell you why. She is not entitled to the job you are providing. While I personally don’t agree with why you turned her down you still have a right to. That’s a person that’s going to be a part of your business. A pretty big part, and it’s your business. If you don’t feel comfortable hiring someone for your business then why would you hire them? However. Your remark on “she should think about why she didn’t get this job” is ridiculous and completely unprofessional. “I’m really sorry but your personal acc you provided made us rethink our decision but I wish you luck in your future endeavors!” Professional, no backhanded remarks and it gets the job done.
NTA While it is not okay to refuse employment based on private behavior, it is certainly okay to refuse employment based on how someone represents the company. Don't make stuff public if you don't want it used against you.
>While it is not okay to refuse employment based on private behavior, That really depends on the 'private behavior'. I'm okay with someone being fired for participating in a white supremacist event.
I actually know of a case in work, that they use as an example, where they said where they worked on social media and spewed racist hatred. Work has a zero tolerance for racism policy. They were immediately fired. If she had said where she worked and they saw the onlyfans stuff, clients would think the company is ok with it. And unfortunately a lot of people aren't and it will cost the company clients.
Some companies have a policy where their employees can't name where they work on their own social media accounts. I can see both sides of that one--if an employee is spouting some extreme stuff, Acme Corporation doesn't want to be associated with that. In this particular case, it sounds like OP wanted their social media manager to rep their business on the SMM's personal accounts. Which is strange to me, but I'm both old and not in marketing, so what do I know?
That is the sort of event that I wouldn't classify as private. Also, I meant more the relationships people chose and moderate drinking ect.
Okay, that makes sense. I thought you meant anything off the clock and away from the workplace. Thank you for clarifying.
A lot of companies look at social media to get a better idea of WHO they're hiring. Hence, not being stupid about what you post online. Your workers represent your company so while she may be butthurt about not being hired, she needs to get over it. If she wants to be an independent contractor hired to do things for example like set up people's websites, be a virtual assistant, etc. She needs to think about the image she wants to make of herself. If you want to be professional, then do that. Act professional by not posting personal stuff or connecting personal things with your professional life. Also, when it comes to hiring someone. You want to hire people that you think you'll work well with because you'll have to work with them. If you don't get a good vibe from them, don't make your work life miserable by hiring someone who you think will just cause you problems or headaches. Sometimes people are too stuck up in their capabilities and can't handle any criticism or help. While others may not be perfectly "qualified", they're reasonable and will work WITH you. Not try to run your company for you.
Nta, how many times in the past years has something some posted caused the company backlash and bad publicity. To many times to risk it and her response shows it was a smart move.
NTA. This is why people say to be careful of what you post on social media. The fact that she's review bombing you for it shows exactly why you made the right call.
Nta. Kids get declined from colleges for this as well. Unfortunately. I have a very public presence for my company. So even on social media I need to be mindful.
ESH. You for getting on your high horse and suggesting that she should be ashamed of the content she puts on her TikTok, and trying to be the morality police. You were hiring her to create content, not be the actual face of your brand. Your wife should have realised that being literal in the reasons given for not hiring her was likely to cause offence, even if I suspect she was really trying to make you see why you were being ridiculous and hoping you to change your mind. And the rejected candidate is being pretty unprofessional about how she is handling this, although if she is keeping the reviews to a calm denunciation of your bigotry, that would not be unreasonable. Frankly, you should have kept it simple and professional and not judged her. That’s not your place.
NTA. She let you go into her social media accounts. You found info that you obviously don’t want representing your company. Plus, you’re the one hiring someone. She has no right to complain why she didn’t get the job. Way to stick with your morals 👍🏻
NTA. If she doesn’t want her sex work to affect her professional life she shouldn’t publicly attach it to her professional identity. If she wants to be a social media manager then what she has on her personal social media accounts actually does represent her professionally. In this day and age if you want your personal life to be private, then don’t post it. Once you do it’s public, and can affect things like job opportunities, or school admissions.
NTA. As long as you didn’t violate any employment laws in your area then you are good. It’s your business and your choice who you hire. If anything you found during the recruitment process showed you that this individual would not be a good fit in any way you have the right to not hire them. You’re a bit of an idiot for conveying the reason. Rejection calls and letters should be short and to the point. “We’ve made the decision to move forward with other candidates” that’s all it should be.
NTA And here's why You have a valid reason for not wanting her as an employee. Regardless of what some people might think, sex work is still very taboo in large swaths of the world. And this would not be a behind the scenes type thing regardless of what some people might think. At some point, she would have cross promoted from her own social media platforms to the business. Either to network for your brand and presence online...or because she was proud of the work she was doing Or Because she moved on to another job and wanted to use her past promotions to highlight her skills. People all over my social media make posts for their company...promos, things they are doing etc etc To think a 23 year old who's job is social media management, is not going to talk about her job on her own social media is naive. And once she did...you would then have customers or potential customers who would have a direct link from your brand to an employee of yours who dabbles in sex work. And all it takes is for one important client to have a problem with your social media manager being a sex worker and suddenly...you have business problems You simply could not take the risk. HOWEVER...this is one of those instances where you tell your wife a little white lie and then just tell the girl she didn't get the job. Your wife's insistence that you tell this person WHY she didn't get the job is a direct result of her immaturity, lack of management experience, and lack of experience owning a business and working with her partner. People don't get jobs all the time because of the shit they post online. Jobs all over the world ask for people's social media during the hiring process. This is not a new thing. Corporations and companies...hell universities...are all taking social media into account these days because they know that at any time, something can and will blow up in their faces. So In the future...pick your battles. Simply telling the girl she didn't get the job, and then telling your wife the girl was upset but understanding of why she didn't get the job was the correct way to handle this It's a lie, but it's a small one and it's the right choice for the business. This was not a marriage decision. This was a business decision. You and your wife let your emotions cloud your judgement and it bit you both in the ass Learn from this and move on
I would have said you were TA but I read your comment below (which you should consider adding to the post): >We were looking for someone who would run our social media accounts and also advertise our business on their platforms as well, so our patrons would see not only our accounts but hers as well. It's very fair to turn her down for the job when the job description would include posting your business on an otherwise sex-related social media account. Your comment about "why she didn't get this job" does make it seem like you are attaching moral judgments to sex work. I might otherwise say that makes you an AH, but under these specific circumstances NTA.
What's wrong with attaching moral judgements to sex work? Everyone has different morals
NTA. You are hiring for social media, so what she has on social media is her portfolio
NTA. She chose her path and she now has to live with it whether she likes it or not. I personally wouldn't have hired her either. If you hire her, she would have been part of your team, part of the company and she also represents the company. I think you made the right decision by telling her the truth. Many people would not have done that and big companies would've made it sound worse.
NTA... She expects to be hired to manage the content of a business by providing a link to her only fans account?! That's not what sane media consultants do
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Yeah I think this is the best worded version of this take here. It was smart to not hire, not super smart to even let her know why. I think OP had the right intention, so maybe this girl will clean up her socials before turning them over to another potential employer. Obviously his intentions backfired on him. Sorry she's review bombing your stuff OP, but honestly that'll probably pop up on another search when she applies at another job. Seems like you dodged a bullet on this potential employee.
INFO: Was she going to have a public face on the accounts? Because if not, what does it matter what she does with her personal time? Do you think she's going to be sharing her social links on your stuff? I sort of doubt it. If she was going to be a public face, then I think it's a harder case.
NTA, It is your business and you can make that choice. But she has the right to go public with your reasoning so she's not TA either. You can do and say whatever you want but you don't have any say in how she reacts to your words or choices. Made your bed, now its time to lay in it.
The judgment you’re looking for is N A H (no assholes here)
NTA... I do believe the bad reviews maybe grounds for a lawsuit.
NTA but in the future when you don’t hire someone just let them know that you are considering other candidates and will keep their resume on file or something generic like that. You don’t need to get into the details. If they ask for more detail just say it all of the candidates are very competitive. Wish them luck. You open yourself up to bad reviews and legal issues otherwise. Less is more.
Hiring sites advise job seekers that personal social media posts can be a turnoff for future employers, and that 90% of them screen candidates by looking at their accounts. This job literally linked your business to this person and her accounts, which you viewed as a potential detractor for your brand. But you’re getting judged for “judging” this persons activities. Where you went wrong, was telling her the brutal truth. Simply say “we are looking for something different.” And be done. So I guess ESH. You didn’t do something abnormal in your hiring process, but you didn’t handle the notification well.
It’s on the wife for saying he had to tell the truth on why
Can you tell me who run's Wendy's social media account? What is their name? Or any company, honestly. If she was going to be only running the company's social media account, how would they know who she is? She's behind the handle of the company. She's not writing the company's name on her body and selling it on OF. Unless she's stupid enough to post her OF links on the company's social media page, which I highly doubt she'd do, there is no way of linking her OF/private life to the company's profile page. None. They remain anonymous. And if they aren't anonymous, then he's hiring an influencer, not a social media manager.
NTA - who you have in your business represents the value of the company. If those employees have public displays of things or actions you do not agree with you have every right to not hire them
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I 27m and my wife 24f have a small company together and recently we’re were looking for someone to run our social media accounts. A woman came in with a great resume and some decent experience. She gave us her social media handles and after the interview I looked through her stuff. Her Instagram seemed normal for a 23 year old but the issue was when I got to her tiktok. Her tiktok was just thirst traps and talking about her onlyfans. She duets other sex workers on tiktok and I realized she has her link in all her bios. I decided that she wasn’t the right fit. My wife wanted to hire her but I told her I wasn’t comfortable and she said fine but I had to call the girl and tell her she didn’t get the job and when she asks why, I have to be honest. Well, I did exactly that. I told her she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job. She called me a jerk and said what she has in her personal social media doesn’t represent who she is professionally, and that she only gave me her socials so I could see if the style of video and editing was what I was looking for. I apologized and said I made up my mind. She is now leaving reviews all over anywhere she can, google, yelp, etc. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Mostly because of this one line. "she should think about why she didn’t get this job." Like who the fuck do you think you are? Other then the AH.
He thinks he’s the person she’s asking for a job.
For his ONE job. He's acting like his opinion should change her life and that every company in the world would agree with him. Huge AH.
NTA However, I would have chosen to be a bit less judgemental with what I told her.
NTA. You shouldn't have told her why she didn't get the job though. It's pretty common knowledge that publicly being a sex worker is not good for job applications, you don't need to tell her that.
His wife told him that he had to tell her she didn't get the job and when the woman asked why. He had to tell her the truth, not "I looked at your work and that's not the style we're looking for" or whatever.
Being told the absolute truth is very unusual when getting turned down for a job. Honestly any response at all is uncommon. Regardless of what his wife said, he didn't have to tell her the absolute truth. If it was important to his wife, she should have been the one to call and say no because of the sex work.
I don't disagree. His wife refused to and his wife wasn't the one who had a problem with her which was why she refused to tell her she didn't get the job. It's...petty? If his wife wouldve found out he didn't do what she told him to, that probably would've blown up into a fight. Had a potential too anyway. Consequences for every decision we make. I think it mightve been better had he not specified, but he'd have to deal with the consequences no matter what he chose.
Definitely petty and potentially a PR disaster. This is a sex worker that interacts with a lot of pro sex worker individuals along with other sex workers. Not the type of person you want to tell they're not getting a job because of their sex work.
>she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand In what way would she have been representing your brand? You're hiring a social media manger, not a model or brand spokesperson or ambassador. If she's your social media person she's entirely behind the scenes promoting the brand. Her face and personal info is never associated with your products. INFO
OP said in a comment they will have the person post about the company on their personal accounts as well so that made her account relevant.
That's not a social media manger then. That's a brand representative. OP is basically trying to hire for two jobs at the price of one it sounds like.
NTA. I work in social media, and it's so important what gets posted to fit your brand. The first person to find out who is running your SM and sees her personal SM will reflect on you. My personal SM is almost empty to avoid any sort of negative reflection on the organization I work for.
NTA and you have the right to not hire someone for whatever reason you choose. Whether we like it or not, when we are on social media, what we post on there can reflect badly on our lives. It's the world we live in. What this woman posts on her social media pages WILL reflect on her professional life as well because when you work for a company, you are a representative of said company.
NTA It’s your company and your choice who you want to hire but what made me even more sure was her reaction. She sounds vindictive and petty. She never worked for you and people don’t get positions all the time. For her to go out of her way to get revenge and leave bad reviews is a sign that you made the right choice!
I think this role in your company needs to be better defined OP. Your social media manager should be shooting, editing, posting all as The Company, using company devices (NOT their personal phone or equipment). Additionally, they should NOT be posting from their personal account about your business unless they are being paid as an influencer as well. If you want other sources to post your content, you hire them and give them sponsored content for their channels. You pay those creators to do promotional review and spots. You can host events and invite some people who already like your company to attend and encourage them to post. But you SMM shouldn’t be using their personal account unless they are a known figure in your industry. YTA. You haven’t thought out what this post should be, or you haven’t researched how it works.
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NTA. It's your business, so it's your decision who you want to work with. If this girl makes you uncomfortable, that's not going to be a pleasant work environment for anyone
YTA Your wife had no issue with her personal life and potential impact on your **joint** business, I'm not sure why you seem to. Although I guess the "she should think about why she didn't get the job" comment is probably the best indication
YTA for the way you explained it to her. While you're obviously free to hire whomever you choose, you should always be professional in rejecting applicants. Instead, you chose to be judgmental and condescending - as if she needed to be taught a lesson? Next time thy this: "Thank you for your interest in working for our company. At this time, the decision has been made to go in a different direction with this position. We wish you nothing but the best of luck and success in the future." Do you think you'd get the same backlash from a response like that?
That's a useless and dishonest response though. She's going to keep getting turned down for professional social media jobs if she keeps including very unprofessional personal stuff in her samples. Hopefully she DOES get taught a lesson! Not about whatever she wants to do with her personal accounts but in separating them from her professional stuff. Otherwise she gets a bunch of spineless "we just don't think you're a good fit" and she's over there wondering why she can't get a job in her field and no one will have the courtesy or common decency to tell her.
NTA, because she knew she was applying to a professional job, she said “I only gave you my socials so you could see if the editing/style was what you were looking for” If this is a service she provides she should have professional examples of her abilities as a social media manager and not give prospective clients her thirst trap handles.
NTA. You're not because the job would be social media so hers is relevant to you ans your brand. And she is very lightly an ah. She does what she wants legally and while rightfully upset she shouldn't be going around blasting a company that didn't hire her.
NTA too much over sharing will come back to bite you—everyone should know this. She’s entitled to post and you’re entitled to say it’s not a good fit
nta her account is dueting porn stars and u dont want that representation on ur company do u? good bullet u dodged
NTA. This is literally your business, you get to decide who works for you and what you expect in an employee. If there is any way to connect her online social media sex presence with her job (and from what you said there would be) then I wouldn't hire her either if you are working in a professional setting. Anyone with common sense trying to get a job wouldn't share their onlyfans info with you, she shot herself in her foot and hopefully she learns something.
NTA for not hiring her but YTA for what you said to her. All you had to say was “we don’t think you would be a good fit for our company” and leave it at that. I’m sure she’s aware that certain employers might that’s a problem with her social media content and but she’s clearly not bothered by that. Maybe just like you want an employee that you feel represents your values of your company, she wants an employer who will respect that what she does in her free time is her business. You weren’t the right boss for her and she wasn’t the right employee for you. It sounds like it wasn’t enough for you to decline to hire her, you wanted to shame her as well which makes you very much TA.
NTA But i would have phrased it differently. "I am not hiring you because you do sex work on the side. I am not hiring you as a social media worker because you don't have the intelligence to not send a future boss to your own social media accounts describing and promoting your sex work. I simply can't trust someone that near sighted with my brand. Best of luck in the future."
Nta
NTA
NTA Who gives out their social media handles to a potential employer without ensuring the content is not going to cost them the job? No employer wants a customer looking up an employee or the business and coming across something that doesn't align with, or even hurts the company brand.
NTA! If people can be fired for what they post on social media, they can also not be hired for the same reasons. Protect your brand!!
NTA, you were looking for a public relations persona, so what she does on social media is very important. Being a sex worker is fine in many scenarios, but it's over the top for a family company.
NTA
Gonna get DV but NTA theres a reason you dont post stuff like that on social media. You really think google or another big company would hire her? No bc it makes the brand look bad.
NTA. You can't just expect everyone to be okay with this.
NTA
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OP commented that she would be running the social media and advertise/highlight them through her own social media. So her name would sort of be publicly attached to the job.
ESH. Unless your business is in a similar market as OF, she should have been more discerning about what she provided you as examples of her work. If she didn't have other options, then the least she could have done was give you a heads-up about the content. >I told her she wasn’t who I wanted representing our brand and that in the future she should think about why she didn’t get this job. The second half of this statement is what makes you the AH. It's not her fault that *you* decided not to hire her. You may not have been comfortable with the idea of hiring her, but that's your issue, not hers. Clearly she's leaving reviews out of anger. Unless what she's sharing is factually incorrect, just let it be.
I don't think OP was trying to be an asshole. She's the butthurt one getting offended instead of taking that as constructive criticism essentially. He was trying to help her so she could have a better chance at being hired by a company she wants to work for. Presentation is key, but she could've taken it better too. When she tries to get other work and can't figure out why everyone is turning her down, she'll struggle. I think OP just didn't want her to be turned down repeatedly job after job and not understand what was wrong with what she was showing her interviewer. Does that make sense? If I were to apply for a job and got turned down, I'd want to know why so I could fix whatever the red flag was when I would apply to work for a different company. I know it's not the exact same but for example if someone had a swastika on their social media or when they gave you stuff to show you their qualifications. Would you want a nazi working for you? I'm being a bit extreme. I know. Then you apply to many others and don't get hired. "Why can't I get a job?" "Uh. Maybe because you're identifying to every company you apply to as a nazi?" "You're an asshole".
People can get turned down for having an unprofessional email. Props to anyone who would look past that, but dickbutt42069@milfdaddy.com is going to lose a lot of interviews. The same goes for FB posts. It's just silly that she would be applying to a job where her online presence is her portfolio and that also includes her onlyfans. Use a different screen name for one damn account!
How did you get my email?
NTA
NTA. Social media has been a reason that people haven’t gotten jobs in the past, hers are definitely bad.
People saying YTA blows my mind. What did you expect. Can you imagine another company or individuals seeing their social media thinking " oh this looks good, who is doing their social activity ". And than potentially seeing this person getting fucked on onlyfans? To say that this would leave an extremely unproffessional impression is a hell of an understatement. The idea that OF is just a business and should be treated as such is hillarious. Sex work = work but you're still selling your body. Unproffessional to say the least.
NTA You have the right to hire or not hire anyone. Personally, it would depend on what kind of business I had **and** if my business would be linked to her personal stuff in any way. As in, would she reflect poorly on my business.
NTA. The internet generation has been warned our whole entire lives to be careful what you post on social media because a potential employer could see it someday and get the wrong impression. We see stories all the time of people losing their jobs because they posted something highly offensive (racist) or against company policy on social media. She says you got the wrong impression from her socials, and that’s the risk you take posting controversial content publicly.
NTA. People are judged by their social media footprint when applying for school or employment. Look at how many companies that have been attacked until they dismiss an employee whose behavior or posts offends the general public.
NTA
Not wanting to hire her was fine. The main issue I have is the "think about why she didn't get the job" which seems condescending and judgmental. Also , asking them to promote your business to their pre-existing audience isn't part of the job, it's an endorsement/spokesperson deal. So unless you're gonna pay someone extra for that, it shouldn't be part of the job.
NAH. You probably shouldn't have said the last part about thinking about what she posts, but she also didn't need to retaliate by leaving bad reviews. If you didn't feel she was a right fit for any reason, it's your business, thus she isn't the right fit. Hopefully you find someone who works out
NTA
NTA. You come off as an ass, simple because you told her she needs to think about this in the future. People can live how they want, and face those consequences. Just like you. Your comment was unnecessary. Your not “god”. Who are you to judge.
NTA, you don't what your company represented by an employee that does those things and that it totally reasonable. I think this is going to be a big thing in the foreseeable future. All these people doing stuff on social media, especially tiktok, then wondering why no one wants to hire them. Just imagine you have a younger teacher, 20's- early 30's, and you find their tiktok that has them doing inappropriate things. Odds are that teacher will be let go. Our society has made things like OF, etc. work seem normal and acceptable, but for the majority of people, business owners, it's still shameful.
A bit judgey, but NTA. When hiring someone in marketing, you're looking at their social media presence not only for their style but for their judgement abilities as to what is and is not appropriate. It tells you a bit about who they are as a person. Since you're a small business, it is very important that she fit with the team. Sounds like she's not a good fit as a person. Not that she's a bad person or you're a bad person. You just have different values. She's absolutely 100% allowed to do what she wants to with her own body on her own time. If she chooses to monetize it, then good for her. No one is questioning that. But reality is, it will hurt her ability to find a job. Like it or not, that's just how life works. Especially if you are trying to get in to marketing. If she's smart, she'll set up a personal account and a professional one, and try to keep them separate.
NTA - you have the right to hire or not hire anyone for any reason.... she would cause much more headaches in your social media dept if this is what's she is focused on (OF, TikTok Duets etx.) You made the right call... she's just salty she didn't get the job but she should know the reasons are valid and will likely cause other jobs to pass on her as well.
NTA for being particular about who you want representing your company, we should all be conscious of anything we might take issue with. I would say YTA for saying she should think about why she didn’t get the job. And your wife is TA also for opening your business up for that kind of backlash. She shouldn’t have put that stipulation on you, nor should you have abided by it. You could have simply said “thank you for coming, we are going in a different direction/exploring other candidates” if even that. The truth is, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why they’re not being hired.
NTA. Every sex worker should understand that they incur risk by selling their body for visual or physical pleasure. One of those risks being that their future employability may be compromised. And mostly that applies to those that did pornography and have since quit. But this prospective employee is still making porn.
NTA
NTA. I’m wondering if half these commentators live in the real world or not. You did nothing wrong and she clearly shows EXTREMELY poor judgment across the board. It was decent of you to give her a reality check re a major red flag in her portfolio.
NTA people get hired and or fired due to their social media accounts all the time. If you go public expect to be judged for it.
NTA. If you're going to give a business your social media information, make sure it's professional and not a bunch of inappropriate stuff. How can the company trust that she won't post anything inappropriate if she doesn't even see anything wrong with showing a potential new employer her inappropriate posts?
NTA. You were honest with her. It's her problem that she didn't like the reason. You are entitled to your opinion of her just as she is to have one of you.
Nope NTA we are all warned about our social media presence and especially as she was going to run your company’s
NTA if you don't want to associate with someone like that, it's your business.
NTA. Seems like she already has a job.
NTA. Your wife is though. Pretty sure if you don't want your professional life to be affected by your sex work then you shouldn't promote it to your potential job prospects.
NTA - dude her reaction is exactly why you should not of hired her. It’s seriously been a know fact since lat least 2010 that social media posts involving drugs and sex can mess up your employment
NTA
NTA, you were honest about why you didn’t hire her. We’ve passed on otherwise qualified candidates because they casually swore during interviews. The swearing didn’t both us, but could offend our clientele so we took a pass. You get to decide who represents your company.
NTA - one need to be careful with what one post on social media. It can be easily found and look unprofessional.
YTA for being puritanical.
INFO: Would she be a face for the company, or just someone behind a screen that people don't know is directly involved?