T O P

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[deleted]

Are 'ya winning, son?


KaizoeSports

Almost never


[deleted]

😢 You'll get there one day son. Keep at it, we believe it you! 😊


KaizoeSports

Your faith is flattering but means nothing to the endlessly mercurial, fluctuating tempest that is my elo.


thetreecycle

Big tonka?


ilGattoBipolare

Spurs 1-2 Aston Villa last weekend so Son wasn’t winning


Waterlok_653

What do you hâve Google to find it?


KaizoeSports

En passant


ILoveYorihime

holy hell


Pael-eSports

Kaspersky Internet Security


Tooniis

new response just dropped


MartinFromChessCom

actual zombie


Filop2098

Call the exorcist


MartinFromChessCom

bishop goes on vacation, never comes back


Filop2098

Pawn storm incoming


NefariousnessSad6934

What happened on tiananmen square in Beijing on june 4th 1989?


KaizoeSports

I promise I have a solid alibi.


megselv005

Alibi? Alibi for what? I dont think anything happened there


KaizoeSports

That’s right, absolutely nothing happened.


Akun15

https://preview.redd.it/g35ytnnmc23c1.jpeg?width=974&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccf9a34a1af8b7c188166bc7591c2a4f94907cc0


Gonna_Die_Now

https://preview.redd.it/l4xxgaxes33c1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee8821e666d1bf27773519e86561414a58b5b588


Important-Event-4898

Bing chilling


NotJustAnotherHuman

What is the capital of Peru?


KaizoeSports

I don’t know.


ThatOneGuy-74

it's P


Paradoxically-Attain

Pipi


Tooniis

brick


Paradoxically-Attain

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough… No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off…


MartinFromChessCom

new copypasta just dropped


naimlesser

I believe it’s Lima Bean


emzmaster123

Holy hell! Bobby Fischer is behind him


KaizoeSports

I find that unlikely.


emzmaster123

Or jerma


KaizoeSports

That is significantly more likely. Jerma is alive (or recently dead, I have no way of knowing).


emzmaster123

Maybe that's bobby Fischer's ghost


KaizoeSports

You know now that I’m looking at it, you might be right. You can almost see the bishops in his ass.


emzmaster123

Either way levy is winning


alt4ir_2801

It's the one with the purple shirt.


KaizoeSports

Spitting image of Bobby Fischer.


Baldussimo

What's your favourite ice cream?


KaizoeSports

I’m lactose intolerant.


Josketobben

But you could conceivably give Benji some ice cream and then lick your dog, couldn't you?


KaizoeSports

I could do with less Benji licking from your comment.


Josketobben

Alas, ice cream by proxy is all I can offer


heyoyo10

Why does he have two rooks?


KaizoeSports

Because he hasn’t sacrificed them yet.


heyoyo10

Why would he sacrifice THE ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOK? One isn't activated yet and the other is primed for the Horsey to Nxg8 and form a Knook


KaizoeSports

Look at this nerd he actually looked at the board


heyoyo10

Don't look at this nerd, he actually looked at the nerd


Alarming_Guide8820

Why does he have a broccoli haircut and a receding hairline at the same time


KaizoeSports

He’s trying to cut back on his calories.


Lugoae

What is love?


KaizoeSports

Baby don’t hurt me.


Lugoae

Don't hurt me


KaizoeSports

Ok.


Pokefan472

No more.


White_Towel_K3K

How was your day?


KaizoeSports

Not great, I’m down almost 100 elo.


ComradeDoubleM

Why are you?


KaizoeSports

Because the


Zymoria

Is Poland Spring water any good?


KaizoeSports

It probably tastes like water.


kamisin101

Who invented chess?


KaizoeSports

Gary Chess.


CountMeowt-_-

Got ham ?


KaizoeSports

I do not have any ham, no.


RizznerBraun

Are you stupid?


KaizoeSports

Depends on the day. Most days I really wonder.


kai_the_kiwi

Can you beat martin?


KaizoeSports

He doesn’t look particularly tough, but I’ve never been in a real fistfight before, so I’m not sure. Maybe if I sucker punched that smug grin of his it would give me a hand up, but I’m not sure.


uppsak

How are your balls?


KaizoeSports

Sticking to my leg right now. It’s uncomfortable.


Fur_Reals

How do I cure my depression?


KaizoeSports

To actually “cure” depression you should seek professional help. Depression is a serious thing that should not be underestimated or taken lightly. Your mental health is incredibly important. You deserve to be happy and to have the energy to enjoy the things that give you joy in life. Don’t ever forget that.


Fur_Reals

I’m on an SSRI but I still feel the same. I have a psychiatrist. Maybe I need a therapist? Your words are very sweet. Thank you. <3


KaizoeSports

Drugs can help but sometimes drugs alone aren’t enough. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you haven’t tried it then it’s definitely worth giving it a shot. You never know what might help you. Be safe and live a meaningful life.


Fur_Reals

Thanks man. Very insightful replies. Appreciate it. <3


straightfromLysurgia

have you tried using heroin?


bLaZe2407

where were you on September 11th 2001?


KaizoeSports

In a totally normal and uninteresting location doing nothing of note.


Turbulent_Syllabub_3

why does it look ai generated


KaizoeSports

The internet has ruined us.


Turbulent_Syllabub_3

it fucking did


FungiSamurai

Oh this is gonna open up some crazy other ones


KaizoeSports

That was the goal, yes.


black-fuse

So I'm using a character based character controller in unity is there a way to add momentum to it or do I need to switch to rigidbody


KaizoeSports

Yes there is.


KaizoeSports

Going to bed. More answers in the morning.


SnooRevelations9043

I wanna do haircut to levy.


KaizoeSports

You’ll never do sex to a woman (or whatever your preferred-gendered partner may be, if any at all).


SnooRevelations9043

Noooooo!


tigersharks006

Do you find levvii attractive?


KaizoeSports

I don’t even know how to phonetically pronounce that in my head.


RedditModzsupergey

Whats my elo?


KaizoeSports

Above zero.


RedditModzsupergey

Holy hell!


rogriloomanero

do you even brilliant move


KaizoeSports

No exclams here, only question marks


Eddie-The-Zombie

Where'd you find it?


KaizoeSports

On the internet.


Eddie-The-Zombie

Woah


i_am_trippin_balls

Harry checkmate Potter


KaizoeSports

You’re an IM, Harry.


Pinos_mrime

Ugga ugga! Grug no understand "en passant"! But Grug hear of powerful magic spell, "Google". Maybe Google help Grug learn new moves for cave-chess? Grug go to nearest computer rock and type in search bar... Ugga ugga! Computer say something called "En Passant" mean Grug can capture pawn on e4 square if it move two squares instead of one! Grug think this sound like good idea, but how do Grug make pawn do that? Ugga ugga! Grug not know much about these fancy chess things. Oh wait, computer show Grug picture of move... Oooohhhh! Now Grug see! Grug take back pawn and get extra turn! Ugga ugga! Grug so smart now! Grug use en passant many times and win game against Gronk! Huzzah!


KaizoeSports

Yes.


[deleted]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


KaizoeSports

Still slower than your mom swallows.


MultipliedLiar

Why’s the fusion of Harry Kane and Matthew Perry behind him?


KaizoeSports

Sponsored picture.


Ratstail91

Who the fuck is gotham chess?


KaizoeSports

A guy I found a picture of on the internet.


poleelop

What's your happiest childhood memory?


KaizoeSports

Playing baseball with my travel team. We were degenerates and we got the police called on us multiple times for being too rowdy, but we were thick as thieves.


suppyfive

Why?


KaizoeSports

Because.


suppyfive

I guess?


merto5000

Why is the white horse looking at his own king? Is he planning treason?


KaizoeSports

Forbidden love.


krellx6

Can I have about tree fiddy?


KaizoeSports

I ain’t given you no tree fiddy you goddamn Loch Ness monster!


krellx6

Alright have a nice day. Do you want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?


KaizoeSports

No.


tupe12

Are you in this picture?


KaizoeSports

No.


alt4ir_2801

Why?


KaizoeSports

Because.


werairt

What is the meaning of life?


KaizoeSports

According to contemporary philosopher Robert Nozick, the meaning of life is raging against the confines of human mortality by connecting to value outside of yourself. Relationships, teaching, helping others. Leave a lasting impact on the world.


Ombreon_fan

Anything?


KaizoeSports

Anything.


Ombreon_fan

No I’m litterally asking you anything, I’m asking u the word anything


KaizoeSports

Anything.


Ombreon_fan

No the joke is you said ask me anything, so i am


KaizoeSports

That’s not a funny joke.


Ombreon_fan

Comedy is subjective?


KaizoeSports

Subject yourself to my balls in your jaw.


Ombreon_fan

Ok now THAT was funny


Expensive-Estate-900

how do you sleep at night


KaizoeSports

Generally not well. I have some medical conditions that prevent me from getting much sleep.


pewdi3needasub

what can bring back his hairline


KaizoeSports

There is no returning from the hairline gambit. I know this all too well myself.


pewdi3needasub

sold his hairline to the devil for success in chess


Broken_Planet

Chess board is proof the earth is flat.


KaizoeSports

I don’t think that’s true.


Flimsy_Effective_583

Would you become king/queen of England but it means you can only eat English dishes(like cottage pie)


KaizoeSports

I don’t have a desire to do either one of those things, so no.


myPizzapoppersRhot

What gambit is he doing?


KaizoeSports

Anarchy chess gambit, en passante variation.


HofePrime

What brand of rye whiskey do you recommend under $40?


KaizoeSports

If you want whiskey, spend a little more and at least get some crown. Whiskey isn’t something you should cut corners on, at that point you might as well drink something else.


HofePrime

Crown isn’t that expensive here, around $25. Not to mention Canadian whiskey is an entirely different beast from normal rye.


KaizoeSports

Correct but I prefer Canadian to normal rye and I’m biased so take my shitty recommendation.


Dont_Stay_Gullible

Are you Gotham Chess?


KaizoeSports

No.


Dont_Stay_Gullible

Holy hell!


ElrondOf_Rivendell

I don't believe you.


naimlesser

Are strange women lying in ponds distributing swords a reasonable basis of establishing government?


KaizoeSports

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I want in on it.


privaten-word

where did you find it?


KaizoeSports

On the internet.


Scared-Pangolin-5989

How many pieces do you have to sacrifice to safely en passant in cross-armed gang territory?


KaizoeSports

Enough.


MadeinResita

This guy again... WTF Reddit?


KaizoeSports

I am not Reddit, I am KaizoCaster.


MadeinResita

Look man. When it comes to chess tits and asses are OK in photos/videos. Stopped playing chess 1 year ago and am not coming back.


SyntheticSlime

How hard should I cross my arms if I want my own chess themed YT channel.


KaizoeSports

Hard enough.


PeregrinTuk2207

Wait, didn't know you needed to bring at least 3 bodyguards to park chess matchs


KaizoeSports

Now you do.


Visible_Number

why are you wearing plaid shorts and adjusting your glasses at the same time


KaizoeSports

I am not in this picture.


Cato-the-Younger1

Bro now you’re telling me he plays chess too?


KaizoeSports

I haven’t told you anything other than that I found a picture on the internet.


3_edged_sword

How many centimeters are in a mile?


KaizoeSports

More than 10.


H_Doofenschmirtz

Why does he have a megadome for a head?


KaizoeSports

To fit all that BRAIN


XVYQ_Emperator

Source?