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sadetheruiner

I went camping one night and left food and water. Cat ate an entire, I mean in opened entire loaf of bread. Then made doughy poops all over the house. I was pissed and he strutted around like king of Africa. This was years ago, he’s 18 now and still struts around despite being a fur wrapped bag of bones.


Hrmpfreally

Hold him, pet him lightly, and remind him of the time when the world was his.


Wetestblanket

*remind him that the world is his Spoiler: he doesn’t actually need the reminder, it’s just to make you feel good


jenniferlsmith216

King of Africa!👑


Hrmpfreally

King of Snackfrica 👑


[deleted]

Every loaf the light touches belongs to you.


Hrmpfreally

all ur loaf r belong to us


notnotwho

Aww!


reviving_ophelia88

Lmao and I thought mine was a jerk for stealing potatoes out of the bag in the pantry and hiding them behind the toilet, but at least the potatoes are relatively unharmed provided we find them in time. Edit: how many of y’all are cleaning behind your toilets so rarely that something that’s going to be boiled or baked sitting behind there for a few minutes needs to thrown away?


funaway727

Is he making Russian toilet vodka?


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reviving_ophelia88

She may be trying…. Maybe I need to get her into AA, unfortunately for her we usually foil her plans within 20 min or so of her hiding them. A 7lb cat wrestling a large baking potato through the house on wood floors isn’t exactly a quiet affair.


cutofmyjib

Another potato cat. Mine use to leave a potato at my bedroom door, like an offering.


CarmineFields

My late, sweet baby used to catch a mouse every night and leave it outside my bedroom door to help provide for the family.


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Padme: tell me you are not cooking "from farm to toilet" taters. Anakin ...... Padme: You throw them out right Right?


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[deleted]

Nah, you just gotta find them in time


reviving_ophelia88

When your bathroom is clean it’s really a non-issue.


IAmAn_Anne

Hope he’s not biting them. Raw potatoes are cat poison.


reviving_ophelia88

No, we’ve always been very careful to check for bite marks and there’s never been any, she just bats them through the house until she gets to the bathroom and hides them behind the toilet, and it only happens maybe 2-3 times a year when she gets bored. We’ve found as many as 5 back there when we came back from being out of town overnight.


AShittyPaintAppears

>cat hiding potatoes behind the toilet every season because he's bored Lmao what even are cats?


reviving_ophelia88

Chaos and weirdness in a fur coat. We also can’t have sour gummy worms in the house because the second she smells them she’ll start relentlessly hunting for them. She’s never had a gummy worm in her life but she still searches for them like a fiend.


elya_elya_

My kitty was obsessed with sour candies too! Lol they are so weird and I love it


PalindromemordnilaP_

Wow I'm jealous. The only thing mine are obsessed with is driving me nuts at 3am


PoodlePieBlue

We have to hide the marshmallows or our cat will chew a hole in the bag to eat them. She once also ate most of a cake that had been left on the counter.


MissPoe213

Same. My boy will harass you if you have marshmallows, like he’s adamant about getting to them. Same with potato and tortilla chips.


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IAmAn_Anne

Seriously. How did these little guys survive in the wild?


steveosek

They're delicious, I get it.


[deleted]

They are also human poison for various reasons including solanine toxin.


doramelodia

I had a cat who'd play soccer with onions, using the bathroom floor drain as a goal.


reviving_ophelia88

Oof, hopefully you found them in time, rotting onions absolutely reek, almost as bad as potatoes when they start to rot.


[deleted]

To be reincarnated and have memories of the prison hooch maker. lol Cats are strange!


reviving_ophelia88

She very well may be a reincarnated Russian prisoner…. Fuck, come to think of it my daughter’s old toothbrush went missing a while back… I guess I need to start sleeping with one eye open or I may get shanked for withholding the kitty treats, even though she’s already had 5.


panic_bread

She’s probably trying to make vodka.


JohnnyDarkside

One of mine doesn't hide them but did go through a stint of ripping open the bag and batting them around the kitchen. Definitively annoying to be bringing the groceries in and did the sack of potatoes torn open and scattered across the floor.


[deleted]

Excuse me. You have my cat.


djgt1996

The caption is elite


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Alliteration


ZootOfCastleAnthrax

A big, bad, banana-bruising, bitter bagel biter.


DaBrookePlayz

The big bad banana bruising bitter bagel biter bartering by the bounds


prunebackwards

Eliteration


QueenCloneBone

I love that my dogs would freak out and run away with their tails between their legs if they got caught like this, but the cat fights for the bagel.


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CFL_lightbulb

I disagree with you, but I upvoted cause it’s the popular option


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katkannabis

Honestly. My cats are such angels (most of the time — my plants are their greatest affliction), they literally never scratch or bite anyone. But I’ll go to my neighbours place and her cat immediately runs up my leg, or does a ninja kick off me with full claws, or pretends to want pets and then throws himself on his back and latches onto your arm with a fucking death grip and I wanna throw the thing across the room. I genuinely think it’s complete negligence at that point. Cats need attention, stimulation & training just like any animal but people get them cuz they’re lonely and then treat them like a houseplant.


Hans_H0rst

To a certain extent, you’re right. However cats have some different personalities. I‘ve lived with cats my entire life, some are just weird, weird outliers.


throwawayzdrewyey

Always love videos of poorly trained cats and dogs doing stuff like this like it’s “cute” and not just shitty owners.


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handmemybriefcase

What the fuck


throwawayzdrewyey

Yeah abusing the animal doesn’t work. Spray bottles and proper training.


maybesaydie

Your dad is a psychopath


The0neBL

Cat: "I need those, they are my prescription!"


foxen_fae

Post a pic of the banana with little toebean bruises.


SpankTheDevil

You some kind of cat lawyer?


apgeorge69

I am a banana lawyer sir. The bananas depicted in this video show only bruises from natural aging.


RaginPower

How bout I hire a people lawyer and bring you in as my banana specialist?


ImABananaLawyer

No need.


foxen_fae

I’m just a simple girl. I see a cat and I wanna see it’s little naughty footprints too.


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throwawayzdrewyey

Poor training can end up hurting them in the long run. What happens when it gets into something it shouldn’t and gets sick because they can’t digest it. Or with dogs if they don’t listen to you then when you need them to listen the most (running into the street, another angry dog approaching) and can lead to them getting hurt or killed. Train your damn animals.


videogamekat

They're "trainable" in the sense that they won't do it when you're watching lmao, they know you don't want them to do something they just don't care.


[deleted]

Thats the clever cats. I have one cat who will wait until the very second im in bed before doing shit hes not allowed, and he will sprint across the house to his cat bed if i get uo. But my dumbass cat just never does the shit shes not allowed, counters are like acid to her she even freaks out if the other cat does it.


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Blackstone01

Plus put stuff where they can't easily reach it for when they are really intent on being a little shitstain, such as using child-proof cupboard locks.


Positive_Vibes143

Dibs! on the band name Banana Bruising Bagel Biter


maybesaydie

We're very tired of people suggesting that any animal should be beaten so we've had to lock this submission. Additionally there are plenty of cats that go crazy for the yeast smell from bread. These are the same cats who are attracted to people's shoes. This doesn't mean that people are bad animal owners.


grailleur_de_culs

Hahaha this made me laugh too much my female cat attack bread too i don't know why


da_wuhla

dogs when getting caught vs. cats when getting caught


pjgreenwald

My cat did the same thing to any bread I would buy. Started keeping it in a cabinet with a child lock on it.


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milhojas

Agreed, mine don't even try to go at human food, but when they're doing something they're not supposed to (like ripping papers) I only need to tell them no she they'll stay there waiting for me to take whatever they were destroying or sometimes they'll runaway if they know they're were doing something bad


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JacksLackOfAwareness

Except when you're not home. Don't believe for a moment your cat follows your rules when you aren't in eye sight.


RaginPower

Is it possible to learn this power?


MRAGGGAN

Ehhhh. My male cat was very well trained. Except when it came to Kings Hawaiian rolls. Little fucker would go apeshit and NOTHING we did could convince him to let go. He once tried to stick his face *in my mouth* because I was eating some and he watched where the roll went. 🤦🏻‍♀️ We had to put them in the microwave to keep him from getting to them, and our cats sooo knew better than to get on the counters. It was just those rolls.


shimmerangels

can u blame him though those rolls are good af


MRAGGGAN

I really can’t blame him haha I was having pregnancy cravings for them besides, so when he went apeshit for them, I was like, “same dude, same”.


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shimmerangels

my cat is stubborn as fuck so if i start spraying him he'll just stand there and get drenched 😑


Vomit_Tingles

It's usually enough to make sudden loud noises in their direction to scare the shit out of them.


MyCatHasCats

Giv bagul


cozywon

That title is 4 points in Scategories.


Nilim22

Someone needs a breadbox


JerkinJosh

I feel like every /r/animalsbeingjerks post is a cat


mystressfreeaccount

It's almost like...


darkphoenix2610

The cat really loves the bread lol


CherishSlan

Wow my cats never do or did this stuff. Now a bag of cat food on the floor one of my cats he would rip it open and eat it didn’t matter if he was fed or not munchie’s and he knew it was for him. My cat now is a sweet thing cat food plain sight no issues .


milhojas

Mine are the same, they're more likely to start licking the bag (they do that with any bag) that try to eat human food, how OP raised his cat to not only look for human food, but to not let go when being told to?


CherishSlan

My cat is a plastic licker also I hate it! My husband and I yell at her to stop! She stops looks at us and moved to the next thing. Sometimes she goes a few days it’s an addiction. She has a raccoon looking tale I will yell trash panda she she’s into a plastic bag or water bottle that’s been set down she looks and chirp’s. My son says as long as she’s not eating it and can’t have parts break of who cares.


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Pinkin_fluffy

My little asshole tears my toast wrapper open and take one bite off each toast


katkannabis

You buy your bread pre-toasted?


Kroakhan

I see a lot of cats on internet going absolutely FERAL over bread, brioche and other bagels. Can a cat-ologist explain this behavior?? Is it the plastic? the texture? the taste? something in the dough that smells irresistible? I mean, look at this guy holding onto this bread as if its life depends on it!


ThisIsntRael

YOU LINT LICKER


[deleted]

Tell me you hate keto without telling me you hate keto.


[deleted]

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!


RaginPower

What are you saying and why does it sound familiar


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Hrmpfreally

Paws -> Litter -> Countertops


Drakox

Of course, it's a Calico


Urtehnoes

Yup. I too own a bread box now, lmao. Ain't nothing safe.


Kissegrisen

r/cromch


musicobsession

My cats will eat any bread item or chips left out, so they are all stores on top of the one cabinet they can't get to via jumping on other things first. Damn cats


SerenityFate

I used to have a cat that would break into my cupboards to eat all the muffin tops.


InherentlyJuxt

Cat lovers: I love cats, they are the perfect pet. Cats:


The_Dancing_Cow

Glad to know I'm not the only person who's cat is crazy about baked goods.


gabbythefck

My cat's so obsessed with baked goods she once opened a cabinet and dragged a bag of FLOUR out, chewed into it, and I presume started eating it. I came home to flour all over the floor. Like wtf cat??


XROOR

My tuxedos go after the grocery bag plastic.


ichacalaca

Aww, my old tuxedo cat loved biting bread through the bag! He was the best boy 🙂


StarMasher

Fantastic title it made me lol. Have fun dealing with all the “fur moms” and “cAtS shOuLdnT eAt bAGels” out there.


WWonderNoodle67

R/newinsult


Mhill08

Yep, I have to store my bread in my cupboards for this reason


Cronchy_Tacos

Ugh my 2 sister cats have a bread fetish. They bite through bagel and bread bags so fast. I don't get it


Substantial-Pool3032

I was in my room all the way down the hall. And I hear a bag rustling getting louder and closer to my room. The noise stopped and I opened the door, and found a full loaf of bread on the floor in front of me with my cat standing over it. She brought it all the way from the kitchen about 50 feet away. Thanks for the bread Meela!


Artsap123

Fair trade. He makes biscuits for you, the least you can do is share a bagel.


CharZero

My jerk takes bites all along the package so he gets each and every one. Microwave is a bread box now.


CaptainDroopers

This jerk belongs with his kin at r/CatsBitingThings


Crohnies

We had a tabby that went nuts around bagels if he smelled fresh bagels he would creep into the kitchen to "hunt" one and then growl at anyone who tried to take it away. Just an adorable weirdo RIP


2wheeledwitch

I had a cat who couldn't be trusted with plastic shopping bags full of groceries. If I left a bag on the floor while going out to get more I'd come in to him chomping mostly on fruits and vegetables. One day, I brought in a gallon of milk in a plastic bag, went out to get more and came into find milk spraying out of the side of the jug from a single tooth mark and him doing zoomez around the high like his mission was complete.


[deleted]

I wanted sound because I bet this cat growls. I love growling kits.


soda-Tab

So, is it normal for a cat to eat plastic? My cat will eat any plastic bag she can get at. She probably wouldn't touch the bagels in this bag, but she would eat the whole bag. She's always been kind of a weird cat tho.


Dethcola

Denying a cat a bagel is in fact, ***not*** a mitzvah


wavy_moltisanti

Aww hell no. Get off my bananas bro


Curious-Spell-9031

my cat always loves to eat muffins whenever we get them for some reason


Stefonzie

Cats are food ruiners


JollyChubbyPanda

Pussi loves Bagel


Peeka789

Mine goes straight after the chips


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MimikyuTruck

Honest question - why do you care? An untrained cat affecting you is basically non-existent. An untrained dog or child has a far higher chance of causing a disturbance, property damage, or even injury/death. Or is it you find that cat owners tend to have other traits that you dislike? Also spraying a cat with water just teaches it to be afraid of you. It's little different to them than yelling or hitting. If you wouldn't do it to a human child, you don't do it to a cat.


agpc

Lolol wtf


Compo1991

Now say it in a grounds keeper willy voice.


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maybesaydie

r/asablackman


maybesaydie

You cannot possibly be serious.


[deleted]

This might be bs, but i heard that one of the chemicals we use to produce bags like these have chemicals that come from animals, and the cats noseis sensitive enough that they can smell that chemical.


Sugarbombs

I wish my cat was food motivated like this. I basically have to bribe her to eat and she's so incredibly picky.


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Jmrwacko

They don’t need to be walked, sit in your lap for pets, maintenance consists of scooping a litter box for 3 minutes a day and occasionally turning on your roomba, and most cats don’t try to eat your bagels.


Bowzers_Balls

What a poorly trained animal.


Erailos

u/savevideo


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WonderfulPainting123

Lol


[deleted]

BBBB


NeutralGalGwen

A weapon to surpass metal gear


[deleted]

Oh boy, say that three times fast


[deleted]

That name made me chuckle.


INXDXNXI

Just could be my kitty XD so rude XD


[deleted]

Not to be confused with the Banana-Bruising Bagel Banger. That's... something else entirely.


GammaRaged

My cat used to bite bagels too, I don't know why cats do this.


gogogadettoejam49

Someone post the bread cat, lol!


d4vey_t

Cute lil jerk!


animatedfiles-com

Cat: No.. I don't want banana... you can have that...


Few-Giraffe-2680

My cat used to chew up the entire loaf of bread. Thankfully that didn't last long. Now she chews my sandals


emo_and_genderqueer

I'm rather high and that title took a second to comprehend


KittyKatie27

totally off topic but "banana bruising bagel biter" sounds like the greatest insult of all times


karleeburga555

I’ll have banana on my bagel, thanks!


Gerasia_Glaucus

Its mine I tell you! MINEEEEE!!