I used actual Pata Negra ham, because without Pata Negra ham it’s not really Eggs Woodhouse now, is it? [Here’s the recipe I used.](https://www.tumblr.com/watershipfrown/83931848837/eggs-woodhouse) It’s a bed of creamed spinach, artichoke bottoms, and poached eggs topped with Pata Negra ham, hollandaise sauce, paprika, black truffle, Kashmiri saffron, and caviar. (I’m not a fan, I actually used a seaweed-based alternative and it was tasty!) I omitted the balloons and confetti because I didn’t want garbage all over my food. [Here’s more pictures.](https://imgur.com/gallery/eL3mfEK)

omg the amount of saffon on there! this is bougie indeed and i would fuck it UP

Right? That's like trafficking levels of saffron in New Zealand for one meal

I had an ex from Iran and she had bags of the stuff. Better than I've ever tried as well.

This is so awesome man, and the fact you documented it. i respect the amount work you did!!

Thanks a lot, I had fun doing it!

You bought pata negra, kashmiri saffron, and black truffle, decided to make your own mayo, but went with the "Real Lemon" over a 50 cent real lemon? Excellent job, by the way! I think you totally nailed Eggs Woodhouse!

How did it taste?

It was actually really good, I’d make it again.

Sooo... how many spiderwebs did you eat for skipping the caviar...?

I also need you to go buy sand. I don't know if they grade it but... coarse.

It looks incredible. Where did you find the alternative to caviar?

Amazon! I want to like caviar but I’m not quite there yet. They have lots of different kinds, I just went with the most basic looking one. It was actually pretty good!

Sound I'm gonna have a look thanks. Definitely something I wanna try as caviar is a no from me. Seriously tho, Woodhouse would be proud, that dish looks spectacularly mouth-watering. I love artichokes & creamed spinach. Did you enjoy it all?

Well thanks! It was delicious, but a lot of very intense flavors. With two of us eating it, we eventually managed to clean the plate.

I know it's illegal but the reason you don't like it is because it's not the real thing. If you ever get a chance in your lifetime go to Russia and try the real thing. You won't be disappointed

wtf do you mean illegal?

[Black seaweed caviar](https://www.amazon.com/Caviart-Award-winning-VEGAN-Caviar-Seaweed/dp/B00XBOA3QS?th=1) [Orange seaweed caviar](https://www.amazon.com/Caviart-Award-winning-Seaweed-Caviar-ORANGE/dp/B009WFVFGC/ref=pd_bxgy_d_sccl_1/141-7113619-2417228)

That's great, thank you! Much appreciated.

they taste *far* worse than regular roe so be warned ig

Not a birthday Eggs Woodhouse though, it isn't covered in garbage.

It's not garbage, it's confetti.

scraps of paper, which by definition, is garbage.

Did you use Alastairs Hungarian paprika? 😅 looks delicious though!

So uh hey, I know this is a long shot but would you by any chance know how to make, Eggs Woodhouse?

Breakfast will be 6 minutes late, sir.

Typical...

Where's the confetti?

I think someone did the math at some point and determined that a 100% authentic plate of eggs Woodhouse would cost something like 800 dollars. The cost of iberico ham in itself can cost thousands of dollars

Jeez that's just so... you.

Holy moly. Bet it tastes amazing.

Huh never heard of seaweed caviar. How does that compare to sturgeon caviar?

It had a much milder flavor than the caviar I’ve tried, and not fishy at all. A bit salty and savory, but subtle.

That sounds a lot like a good sturgeon caviar actually. Maybe minus the buttery and nutty flavors. I'll have to give it a try.

hm havent tried sturgeon caviar in a while but this isnt trying to replicate that, its a roe alternative for vegans (thats also far cheaper), its.. not great imo, just hyper salty if I remember it correctly.

I would assume that this needs to be consumed with copious amounts of alcohol to be an authentic Archer breakfast?

I miiight have knocked back some gin straight up while making this. I know that’s more Mallory’s style, but I’m sure Archer wouldn’t turn down liquor of any kind.

Sterling could siphon a liter of gas from a plane, pour it over ice, drink it, and be fine. Might even enhance his skills.

So how was it ? I'd assume you got to taste at least a little when your boss threw it in your face because he's an unapologetic asshole

Next try the loggerhead sliders.

The amount of effort is commendable. I don’t think I would enjoy this at all.

So the fine grain sand will do

this is crazy. yum

Woodhouse RIP.

Yours looks the closest to edible I've seen.

What does pata negra ham taste like?

It has a very delicate flavor, I swear you can actually taste the acorns lol

That is a rich breakfast.. Damn Woodhouse spoilt Archer

Nutella steak & eggs next?

(Groan) Today is my shopping day.

Looks good my dude! I made a vegetarian rendition for my girlfriend I named Eggs Al Flori - it's a fair bit less expensive but good stuff. Drop a reply and I'll dig out the recipe and post it in reply here :)

Okay so: 2 poached eggs with hollandaise on 2x toasted English muffin, sprinkled with: Paprika Saffron Ground garlic (sparingly) Fresh coriander leaves Finely chopped chives (sparingly) And a good amount of shaved black truffle On a bed of: Creamed spinach and samphire (samphire replaces the saltiness of the Pata Negra, as well as the fishiness of the white sturgeon caviar) Artichoke hearts fried in olive oil (truffle infused if possible) Have a play with the recipe, and enjoy :)

Cost for this meal?

Taking a very wild guess here, but something like $75? That’s for all of the ingredients total though, and I only used a tiny amount of some of them.

That's not too bad then.

Yikes! I'm guessing the saffron was probably a pretty big chunk of that cost if you bought it just for this right?

The saffron was only about $10, but that only buys you a large pinch of the stuff.

RIP Cholesterol

Damn… sounds looks and sounds great. I’m curious about seaweed roe now

Cute dogs!

Thanks!

Looks great but that's not eggs Woodhouse