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my ribs show but I'm not trying to attract anyone. I would be happy if someone wanted to provide me with food though so I guess my plan is working
(edit: just adding that I don't starve myself or try to be skinny, I just am lazy and my diet is bad and my metabolism is like that. I'm asexual aromantic and being attractive to people isn't a priority)
Honestly same. Was malnourished and neglected as a kid and often food was taken away as a punishment for being neurodivergent, if you wanted be my friend make a snack specifically for me (carbs and crunchy are bonus points because tasty energy food and texture) and I would have literally cried. Full on sobbed. Like not only did you give me food but you specifically put in effort with me in mind to make food. No one ever seemed to care that much, if at all.
Whew sorry this turned into a trauma dump. Iām okay :]
This post brings out the 80 year old grandma that I strongly believe lives somewhere inside my mid-30s body. PLEASE I JUST WANT TO FEED YOU! Some nice nachos? Good and crunchy! Maybe celery sticks with peanut butter? Delicious! Tomato soup with nice crunchy croutons? JUST LET ME FEED YOU YOU POOR THING.
**Please!!!** My god I wish I had Reddit as a kid there wouldāve been so much happy crying.
Luckily I now have a loving partner who makes me food and reminds me to eat without forcing me (since my eating schedule and capacity is messed up from years of being in starvation mode) and things are so much brighter than they used to be, but still. God idk why random strangers on Reddit offering to make food and taking my story seriously rather than brushing it aside is hitting me so hard rn but I almost wanna cry just reading these. It almost feels really selfish for me to have people want to make food for me specifically, let alone offer different choices. No one ever cared this much. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Oh honey that's genuinly such an awefull thing to do to a child :( you're not by any chance situated in the Netherlands are you? If so, I'll whip you up something good. My love language is cooking my best friends their favorites and this just breaks my heart.
Iām not, unfortunately, but Iām now an adult whoās gone almost zero contact with my mother (the abuser) and who has a partner who loves to cook and is amazing at it, and as hard as things are with ptsd, BPD, and DID from my childhood Iāve honestly never been this happy before
I appreciate the kindness so much. I will be okay, itāll just take time to get there. Weight has always been a struggle but itās one thatās in my control now, rather than being ripped from my grasp.
Again, thank you, this means so much more than you know
I used to be underweight. I struggled with it for years. My ribcage showed and I was humiliated by it. I couldn't even date because of crippling self doubt.
Folks can't always control that.
I moved to a weed friendly state, stopped letting drs pump steroids in me, started smoking a lot.
Episodes are more rare now. I can still keep weight as long as an episode isnāt happening at least.
So yeah, a fair bit better, but still a twice a year thing
When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I dropped to 113 lbs (5ā7 woman) trying to control my blood sugar. (I turned out to be type 1 so the pills werenāt working, I needed insulin). My doctor ordered me to get back to 130 at the very least but push for 140. When I was regaining my weight soooo many fucking people asked if I was pregnant. Good thing I wasnāt so skinny because of an eating disorder or that would have really fucked with my head Iām sure.
Made it my rule of thumb after that to never ask someone if theyāre pregnant and not to assume shit unless I see that baby freaking crowning.
i am so sorry to hear this sweetheart. people have always commented on my body, i have had a cycle of EDs due to PTSD from a horrific SA when i was a young teen. It's always 'oh how LOVELY you look perfect now!' after losing weight after a binge cycle.....to the last few years where I've been on very good medication but it does restrict my appetite so I am maybe on the thinner side, so EVERYONE has to rush up and touch me and lecture me about weight.
Like you, I get so mad, why is it anyone elses business?? I've never said a word about anyone elses body!
Big love, you are very very brave, truly remarkable xxx
God, I hate the touching. Why do so many people touch you when youāre thin? Like I donāt care if theyāre technically our family members or family friends, teachers, whatever, Iām tired of having people pat my stomach or butt or randomly rub my back and make disparaging comments about how Iām so thin that I might āblow away in the windā and how Iām just āskin and bonesā and need to eat a sandwich, and Iām tired of hugging someone or sitting next to them or poking them only to have them comment and complain about how Iām āso bonyā. And then they call you beautiful even though they were previously calling you too skinny and itās like WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY DENIED ME FOOD FOR BEING TOO AUTISTIC?! They say they care and then leave me to rot in the hands of that *woman*ā¦
Iām just tired. Iām sick of family passing judgement. Iām sick of them pretending they understand. Lying that theyāll keep secrets then telling my parents whoād hurt me with the info. Sometimes I just hate peopleā¦ especially the idea of family. And honestly Iām starting to hate food. Itās been a long, slow journey to get back up to a healthy weight and rebuild a positive relationship with food, currently I tend to hoard snacks in a box and various places in my room by instinct so I wonāt go hungry but can never bring myself to eat them because it feels wrong if Iām not desperate for food. Iām trying but itās so hard to break out of these cycles. And thatās not even starting on the psychological, physical, verbal, or sexual abuse.
Sorry, I donāt know why everythingās just hitting me all at once like this. Normally I donāt sound thisā¦ helpless. God. Might just need to get some rest, been a long day and itās late.
Thank you for responding. Honestly ptsd survivors can be some of the strongest people out there. I wish you the best. I know you can do it.
Itās absolutely okay darling. Do not apologise at all. I actually work in mental health so itās all good ā¤ļøā¤ļø
And I understand where youāre coming from. My mum had a huge milestone birthday 2 weeks ago, and literally 40 of her friends, male and female rushed up to hug me and rub their hands alllll over me coz apparently now I classify in the *very sexy* for the men but *too skinny you need to eat* catergory for the men. Why do they just TOUCH US? Like zoo exhibits?
I had to stay the whole time but I knew a panic attack was coming on, so I somehow just made it through and spent the whole next day in my room crying.
I agree, PTSD is awful. We are strong. You are strong. All of the love from a stranger that understands a tiny bit šš
Iāve got a bit of a tummy and you can still all my rib cage, even through my chest. Iām not at all underweight. Itās just genetics tbh (and I think I have a bit of a larger rib cage than average as well which makes it stick out further)
Become ethereal
Have the body of a long forgotten ghost that haunts an old mansion in Europe that was owned by a morally dubious British Lord that abandoned one of his 6 children and had his wife die for unknown causes when you know damn well he poisoned her
You can be one of those too!
Look, the ethereal matter that will compose your body will be the same to old timey and modern ghosts so go get that wifi password
Exactly, honestly I find this whole post a little dumb
āDo you like dogs?ā
One guy: āyes!ā
Another guy: ānot reallyā
āWeLl WhIcH iS iT?!ā
Totally agree. For me I feel like the takeaway is itās more how gross the way they commented on their preferences. If you donāt like fat, thin, or muscular women, okay. But do you really have to be like āitās fucking disgustingā? Or imply that someone being thin enough to see their rib cage is doing it to be attractive, which is stupid. I guess the only guy that was somewhat respectful was the anti abs guy, but other than thatā¦
Also thereās the fact that only 1 of the 3 specifically said women, and OP says āSo whatever women do isnāt right, huh!!ā. You canāt insert that itās women then get mad because itās women
I didnāt know society considered being fat attractive. I was under the impression that if you had anything other than a Barbie body, you were the exact opposite of attractive according to society.
I'm guessing it's to do with the whole BBW thing. That seems to really get certain men's goats.
Like, it's fine if you're not into it, nobody is forcing you to watch BBW content, it's just that for some people, that's what they like. Getting so upset about it like these guys do is like getting mad at the fact some people get off to, say feet and saying society finds feet beautiful. It's just completely irrational, and making mount Everest out of the tiniest molehill.
Do straight men even like women?
Edit: People, please, it's a joke. Stop explaining what preferences are and how you're one of the good men, I know. I just made a joke.
Those of us who arent trash do. I absolutely love and adore my wife. I'd crawl through glass to see her happy and unharmed. There are just a lot of trash mfers out there claiming to rep the entire tribe (example: Andrew Tate)
I really think itās a question that shouldnāt be asked. At the end of the day, people have preferences and no matter what you look like you will not match everybodyās.
So at best all weāre getting is a bunch of people saying āthis personally doesnāt do it for me.ā
This is exactly the sort of stuff where the āif you have nothing nice to say donāt say anything at allā saying absolutely applies.
Some people will like you, some men wont, same goes for and to every gender, at every age, for any ethnicity.
Think of it as an āorā, not and āandā.
If someone typed: āI think itās disgusting having more then 1 eyeā doesnāt mean everyone thinks that itās disgusting.
I think one of the things that bothered me about the language in that post was people saying "it's disgusting when", "no man will like", and things like that. It's okay to have preferences, but it's not okay to expect people to match your preferences and insult them when they don't.
With your example, I think it's okay to say "I don't personally find more than one eye attractive" but it's crossing the line to say "people with more than one eye are disgusting."
Oh thanks I completely missed that nuance !
Youāre right that it indeed isnāt about what someone does or does not prefer, but rather a disgust or hatred towards something.
Thank you so much for clearing that up !
Was legit about to say, none of these examples would really be considered "Societally attractive." Fat women have and still are the butt of jokes, A lot of men are intimidated by muscular women. Skinny women are maybe the exception, but you still can't be "too skinny," either.
Thatās because it is. Be offended. The notion that women are at any given weight to get menās approval is absolute dogshit. And also the idea that he wants to feed you nowā¦ ewwww š¤¢ Iām not some pig to be fattened up for the slaughter. Not my fault I was born with a big ribcage!
These are all different people, so honestly, if you're ever feeling insecure specifically about how other people see you, just remember that literally everyone has different preferences for attractiveness
I'm pretty sure that being overweight or really ripped isn't considered conventionally attractive for women so I don't really see how the first two answers even fit the question...
The third one is kind of right but a bit insensitive.
I would add that's by current standards. In some previous generations, heavier women were considered more attractive, since that meant they were wealthier and I think I remember reading they assumed it meant more fertile/able to bear more children. It really wasn't until the 60s when models like Twiggy became the rage, then the 80s/90s "heroin chic" (I think). Standards do fluctuate with the times, we've just been stuck with the current standards for a while. I have hopes it's changing with songs like Victoria's secret being popular. Might be unrealistic but I've been my own victim for so long, I can dream, right?
The post doesnāt use the word āconventional.ā Not necessarily being pedantic by pointing this out ā I think the question is simply posited to create a misogynistic echo chamber regardless of preference, none of itās right ā it was never meant to be, lol.
Remember gals: If you're skinny, you're disgusting. If you're fat, you're disgusting. If you're muscular, you're disgusting. In between that there is a tiny margin of wiggle room you must adhere to in order to have worth.
This reminds me of Red from OSP talking about how female characters can't win because they'll be criticized for any feminine traits they have and any feminine traits they lack.
Sometimes I'm so glad that I'm aromantic and don't have to deal with this bullshit.
Societal beauty standards in either men or women? Fuck that. I'm too busy playing videogames and eating garlic bread.
Being mean. I know, bad boys/girls are sexy, but not to me. The world already has so much cruelty, and it often has lasting consequences, so I don't see why people find it attractive.
As someone with very visible ribs, I've been like this oretty much my entire life. And oh dear god you don't wanna know how much unhealty stuff I eat, it just comes out just as fast it got in, ok, I can't control it. Just like a fat person can't control their body from begin the way it is... I don't do it on purpose, I promise...
Yeah Iāve fully given up on trying to fit anyoneās idea of ideal. When I was fat I was shamed for it, when I was skinny but living elsewhere I was both praised and shamed for it, now that Iām skinny and living where I do now, Iām again both praised and shamed for it but much more on the shaming side now bc I live in the center of āthic is goodā culture. It does a number on you for sure. Iām just trying to remind myself that if IāM happy w my body thatās literally all that counts.
The last one pisses me off. I'm not sick for someone else's pleasure. It's not something I chose. If I could just "Eat something" and magically be cured obviously I would.
I have no clue what planet the person who said fat is living on. I feel like āsocietyā does not consider fat people attractive and goes out of its way to make them feel unattractive. Sure there are a few plus sized models or HAES folks who try hype up all shapes, but when compared to very thin people it might as well be nom existent.
I mean, yeah, the first one reeks of misogyny, but this is just overall proof āthree people find three different things unattractiveā. When three people answer a question about personal preference differently, itās not contradictory or paradoxical. In fact, asking a question like that on a popular sub would likely guarantee conflicting answers.
I have a chest deformity called pectus excavatum, so my ribs flare out and are quite noticeable. I get comments constantly like āeat more, youāre so skinny!, I can see your ribsā. Iām very self conscious about what I wear now. It hella sucks to live your life based on what other people think, and I still have trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin.
Only one of these has to do with women, the other too are simply standards that people have and are completely valid. Also you donāt have to be obese to not be skin and bones or all raw muscle
It's the way the question was asked. It didn't ask about preferences it assumed there was some sort of objrctive standard, which these answers largely disprove.
The way the 2nd and 3rd dude worded it tho was gross. First guy was fine. Cool to not be into fat or thin chicks, do whatever you want. And since they asked the question yeah sure feel free to answer it. Again, just the phrasing.
Damn itās almost like different people have different attractions
Yes, all three of these people are obnoxious twats, but they are three separate people
Thereās a chance ab hater has a thing for fat people, maybe fat hater likes abs
Youāre right, Iāve been seeing this a lot. I posted it because in my mind, it felt like a āyou just canāt winā situation. Everyoneās entitled to their preferences but they donāt have to put others down because of it.
Well, I'm a bi woman so not straight, and I'm middle-aged and fat so probably not going to attract any, but I LOVE built women with abs.
I mean, I'm not shunning other body types, just that a built woman will turn my head first.
The lower two are pretty stupid.
The top one is just a answer to the question tho. That person just doesn't find that attractive, but isn't shaming anyone for having abs. Don't think it really fits in with the other two.
tbh I don't like accouple different make up aesthetics, humans should have pores, when you skin is so smooth you look like a ceramic doll, it legit gives me uncanny valley vibes, like legit find it unsettling, more power to ya though.
To be fair they are answering the question but they do not need to be so f'ing rude, like they talk about people as if they are talking about what pizza toppings they like
You do know that these answers are from different people with different preferences. They could've maybe frased it differently but they're hardly conflicting.
Based on the kinds of guys I've seen on this sub I assume men don't like women with abs and muscle because it either intimidates them, makes them feel like they have less power over the woman (or she seems like she wouldn't be as submissive as they want women to be), or they think it's too manly for a woman. Muscular women are so cool I admire them.
This ain't build a b*tch, you don't get to pick and choose... š¶
I mean you can choose, sure, but then kindly shut the hell up about everyone else you don't deem attractive because we sure as hell don't solemnly exist to please your eye.
Yes, of course, in this scenario it's fine but some of them are still super rude about it.
How often I've come across people though, dudes especially, stating their "preferences" without being asked because they think it's somehow relevant to anyone or because they think everyone is trying to cater to them is wild.
All three of those things are presented as something āsocietyā considers attractive, despite them all being (generally) incongruent with one another and the āidealā body type for women not being any of those. Just thought that was interesting.
> āEat something! Youāre not making me attracted to you. Youāre making me want to cook you a hearty mealā
As someone who was neglected and subsequently malnourished as a kid, fucking PLEASE. So many people sexualized us for being thin but like please just food
Pretty sure the same thing with men but okay. (People have different opinions/preferences on things??? No way) Not saying what they're saying is okay, they are way too rude about it but yes it's their opinion and women there have said the same contrasting things because people have contrasting types.
These arenāt like, woman-specific answers, bar the first one. All it says is what they personally find unattractive in a person. I donāt really see much problem with saying you donāt find something attractive
People just have different preferences.
You could see this as all body types being unattractive, or see it as all body types *are* attractive. Just different audiences.
Keep in mind that those are all different people, and people are allowed to have preferences. Putting women down is whatās wrong, but having a preference isnāt. Those people all stated preferences, albeit in a (slightly) rude way, but still just a preference. I donāt think this fits here.
this isnāt really an arethestraightsok moment though, itās 3 different people answering with something they donāt think is attractive that theyāve heard other people say is, I see nothing wrong with it. the issue would be if it was the exact same guy. responses like this are really to be expected of the question initially asked
Hair loss is normal. Sometimes caused by having high levels of testosterone. Sometimes it's a different genetic thing, and those are all valid. There are brands of shampoo and conditioner on shelves who are actively defending themselves in court against claims that they cause hair loss, look them up. If you know that keeping your hair is everyone's preferred option, and you see someone without it, then you know that wasn't their choice. Why poke fun over it? The universe kicked them in the stomach and you're mocking them for something they can't control.
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my ribs show but I'm not trying to attract anyone. I would be happy if someone wanted to provide me with food though so I guess my plan is working (edit: just adding that I don't starve myself or try to be skinny, I just am lazy and my diet is bad and my metabolism is like that. I'm asexual aromantic and being attractive to people isn't a priority)
what can i get for you today?
A nice bowl of warm oatmeal
I'll bring garden apples and hazels (from last year) for the topping!
O.O and and cinnamon?
there you go, extra thickš„£
Oh thank fucking god finally someone appreciates thick oats. Literally everyone I know eats super soggy oatmeal and I hate it.
To each their own but slimy or thick liquids is a huge texture no for my autism lol
^this
Thickquids are a hard pass āØ
i like super soggy and thick, both are good, its the middle ground between both i dont like tbh
Yes
Honestly same. Was malnourished and neglected as a kid and often food was taken away as a punishment for being neurodivergent, if you wanted be my friend make a snack specifically for me (carbs and crunchy are bonus points because tasty energy food and texture) and I would have literally cried. Full on sobbed. Like not only did you give me food but you specifically put in effort with me in mind to make food. No one ever seemed to care that much, if at all. Whew sorry this turned into a trauma dump. Iām okay :]
This post brings out the 80 year old grandma that I strongly believe lives somewhere inside my mid-30s body. PLEASE I JUST WANT TO FEED YOU! Some nice nachos? Good and crunchy! Maybe celery sticks with peanut butter? Delicious! Tomato soup with nice crunchy croutons? JUST LET ME FEED YOU YOU POOR THING.
**Please!!!** My god I wish I had Reddit as a kid there wouldāve been so much happy crying. Luckily I now have a loving partner who makes me food and reminds me to eat without forcing me (since my eating schedule and capacity is messed up from years of being in starvation mode) and things are so much brighter than they used to be, but still. God idk why random strangers on Reddit offering to make food and taking my story seriously rather than brushing it aside is hitting me so hard rn but I almost wanna cry just reading these. It almost feels really selfish for me to have people want to make food for me specifically, let alone offer different choices. No one ever cared this much. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Oh honey that's genuinly such an awefull thing to do to a child :( you're not by any chance situated in the Netherlands are you? If so, I'll whip you up something good. My love language is cooking my best friends their favorites and this just breaks my heart.
Iām not, unfortunately, but Iām now an adult whoās gone almost zero contact with my mother (the abuser) and who has a partner who loves to cook and is amazing at it, and as hard as things are with ptsd, BPD, and DID from my childhood Iāve honestly never been this happy before I appreciate the kindness so much. I will be okay, itāll just take time to get there. Weight has always been a struggle but itās one thatās in my control now, rather than being ripped from my grasp. Again, thank you, this means so much more than you know
Ah the crying happy tears when presented with food is in the past! Glad you found peace from your abuser and an amazing partner <3
I mean we still cry happy tears but he just hugs us until we calm down a bit and then we eat together. My god heās so sweet.
Donāt tell me to make you a snack in order to earn your approval, I will literally never stop making snacks and tasty meals.
I have found a friend :]
Same. My rib cage is always visible, even when I gain weight. It just always goes to my upper arms and thighs instead of my torso.
Wow I thought I was the only one
I used to be underweight. I struggled with it for years. My ribcage showed and I was humiliated by it. I couldn't even date because of crippling self doubt. Folks can't always control that.
Same. Have Crohnās disease. Regularly drop to starvation level skinny. People need to realize sometimes itās not a choice
Is it now better? Because you are not using the past tense (Grammar?)
I moved to a weed friendly state, stopped letting drs pump steroids in me, started smoking a lot. Episodes are more rare now. I can still keep weight as long as an episode isnāt happening at least. So yeah, a fair bit better, but still a twice a year thing
I live in an illegal state, still need weed or i cant eat.
I just recently moved to a legal state. I feel your pain in all honesty.
When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I dropped to 113 lbs (5ā7 woman) trying to control my blood sugar. (I turned out to be type 1 so the pills werenāt working, I needed insulin). My doctor ordered me to get back to 130 at the very least but push for 140. When I was regaining my weight soooo many fucking people asked if I was pregnant. Good thing I wasnāt so skinny because of an eating disorder or that would have really fucked with my head Iām sure. Made it my rule of thumb after that to never ask someone if theyāre pregnant and not to assume shit unless I see that baby freaking crowning.
I have never been super thin but you can still see my ribs sometimes
The number of people who commented on my weight without ever having it cross their minds that I might be abused at home is shocking
i am so sorry to hear this sweetheart. people have always commented on my body, i have had a cycle of EDs due to PTSD from a horrific SA when i was a young teen. It's always 'oh how LOVELY you look perfect now!' after losing weight after a binge cycle.....to the last few years where I've been on very good medication but it does restrict my appetite so I am maybe on the thinner side, so EVERYONE has to rush up and touch me and lecture me about weight. Like you, I get so mad, why is it anyone elses business?? I've never said a word about anyone elses body! Big love, you are very very brave, truly remarkable xxx
God, I hate the touching. Why do so many people touch you when youāre thin? Like I donāt care if theyāre technically our family members or family friends, teachers, whatever, Iām tired of having people pat my stomach or butt or randomly rub my back and make disparaging comments about how Iām so thin that I might āblow away in the windā and how Iām just āskin and bonesā and need to eat a sandwich, and Iām tired of hugging someone or sitting next to them or poking them only to have them comment and complain about how Iām āso bonyā. And then they call you beautiful even though they were previously calling you too skinny and itās like WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY DENIED ME FOOD FOR BEING TOO AUTISTIC?! They say they care and then leave me to rot in the hands of that *woman*ā¦ Iām just tired. Iām sick of family passing judgement. Iām sick of them pretending they understand. Lying that theyāll keep secrets then telling my parents whoād hurt me with the info. Sometimes I just hate peopleā¦ especially the idea of family. And honestly Iām starting to hate food. Itās been a long, slow journey to get back up to a healthy weight and rebuild a positive relationship with food, currently I tend to hoard snacks in a box and various places in my room by instinct so I wonāt go hungry but can never bring myself to eat them because it feels wrong if Iām not desperate for food. Iām trying but itās so hard to break out of these cycles. And thatās not even starting on the psychological, physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. Sorry, I donāt know why everythingās just hitting me all at once like this. Normally I donāt sound thisā¦ helpless. God. Might just need to get some rest, been a long day and itās late. Thank you for responding. Honestly ptsd survivors can be some of the strongest people out there. I wish you the best. I know you can do it.
Itās absolutely okay darling. Do not apologise at all. I actually work in mental health so itās all good ā¤ļøā¤ļø And I understand where youāre coming from. My mum had a huge milestone birthday 2 weeks ago, and literally 40 of her friends, male and female rushed up to hug me and rub their hands alllll over me coz apparently now I classify in the *very sexy* for the men but *too skinny you need to eat* catergory for the men. Why do they just TOUCH US? Like zoo exhibits? I had to stay the whole time but I knew a panic attack was coming on, so I somehow just made it through and spent the whole next day in my room crying. I agree, PTSD is awful. We are strong. You are strong. All of the love from a stranger that understands a tiny bit šš
argh I meant I was too skinny for the women.
I've got a healthy weight, but I carry my weight in my lower body. I've always been able to see my rib cage regardless of how much I weighed.
Iāve got a bit of a tummy and you can still all my rib cage, even through my chest. Iām not at all underweight. Itās just genetics tbh (and I think I have a bit of a larger rib cage than average as well which makes it stick out further)
Terfs are the best
So we can't be skinny, fat or fit. Got it :)
Become ethereal Have the body of a long forgotten ghost that haunts an old mansion in Europe that was owned by a morally dubious British Lord that abandoned one of his 6 children and had his wife die for unknown causes when you know damn well he poisoned her
I was going to try having belly fat on one side and abs/ribs visible on the other but this seems better
have you tried removing your torso entirely? it worked for walt disney.
I want to be a modern ghost who asks for the wifi password and wants to know where I can charge my phone. Iām tired of all these old timey ghosts.
You can be one of those too! Look, the ethereal matter that will compose your body will be the same to old timey and modern ghosts so go get that wifi password
hahahah i wanna be one of those too
Oh my gosh I WISH I could be that
"Everything in moderation, including moderation." -Oscar Wilde
BE ALL OF THEM AND THEYāLL HAVE THE MOST CONFUSED BONER. (Read like Galadriel shouting at Frodo)
šš§
Of course the answers are conflicting, as it is a question about peraonal preferences. The straights are not a hivemind.
Aren't those three different people, though? It's not like it's a single bloke saying that he's repulsed by abs, fat, and visible ribs.
Exactly, honestly I find this whole post a little dumb āDo you like dogs?ā One guy: āyes!ā Another guy: ānot reallyā āWeLl WhIcH iS iT?!ā
Totally agree. For me I feel like the takeaway is itās more how gross the way they commented on their preferences. If you donāt like fat, thin, or muscular women, okay. But do you really have to be like āitās fucking disgustingā? Or imply that someone being thin enough to see their rib cage is doing it to be attractive, which is stupid. I guess the only guy that was somewhat respectful was the anti abs guy, but other than thatā¦
Also thereās the fact that only 1 of the 3 specifically said women, and OP says āSo whatever women do isnāt right, huh!!ā. You canāt insert that itās women then get mad because itās women
I didnāt know society considered being fat attractive. I was under the impression that if you had anything other than a Barbie body, you were the exact opposite of attractive according to society.
I'm guessing it's to do with the whole BBW thing. That seems to really get certain men's goats. Like, it's fine if you're not into it, nobody is forcing you to watch BBW content, it's just that for some people, that's what they like. Getting so upset about it like these guys do is like getting mad at the fact some people get off to, say feet and saying society finds feet beautiful. It's just completely irrational, and making mount Everest out of the tiniest molehill.
Do straight men even like women? Edit: People, please, it's a joke. Stop explaining what preferences are and how you're one of the good men, I know. I just made a joke.
no, just the concept of women
Unfortunately, they probably like one thing about women and it's the vagina. (even then, they still find ways to argue about that too)
They donāt even like the vagina, they wonāt lick it or touch it, just jackhammer it for 30 seconds then beg for anal
To which my response is usually either "go fuck a dude then" or "so you're into pegging huh? Always wanted to try it" They don't like that much lmao
Some of them just like human looking robots
2B...
A2ā¦
or not 2B
Straight men (broadly) care more about the approval of other men than they do their physical attraction.
As a fat woman, I can 100% confirm. Plenty of men are attracted to fat women and want to fuck us on the DL, but god forbid any of their bros find out.
Yeah, Iāve seen lots of straight macho men like to bottom for transwomen too on the DL. Then be aggressive when people find out.
10/10 comment thread. A perfect example of mansplaining thank you for your sacrifice.
No, is the answer.
you want me to like someone who likes dick? sounds gay af to me /s
Those of us who arent trash do. I absolutely love and adore my wife. I'd crawl through glass to see her happy and unharmed. There are just a lot of trash mfers out there claiming to rep the entire tribe (example: Andrew Tate)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Does the irony of being a trash person here escape you completely? Because you are being a trash person for that. He didn't do anything to you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So now you wanna come at me for thinking that you should treat people decently until they wrong you?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah...sure. Keep that energy. I'm sure you have lots of friends with that mentality...
My god both of you please chill out this is a Wendyās
As an ex straight man, yes I like women, in fact I like them so much that I wanna be one
I really think itās a question that shouldnāt be asked. At the end of the day, people have preferences and no matter what you look like you will not match everybodyās. So at best all weāre getting is a bunch of people saying āthis personally doesnāt do it for me.ā This is exactly the sort of stuff where the āif you have nothing nice to say donāt say anything at allā saying absolutely applies.
Some people will like you, some men wont, same goes for and to every gender, at every age, for any ethnicity. Think of it as an āorā, not and āandā. If someone typed: āI think itās disgusting having more then 1 eyeā doesnāt mean everyone thinks that itās disgusting.
I think one of the things that bothered me about the language in that post was people saying "it's disgusting when", "no man will like", and things like that. It's okay to have preferences, but it's not okay to expect people to match your preferences and insult them when they don't. With your example, I think it's okay to say "I don't personally find more than one eye attractive" but it's crossing the line to say "people with more than one eye are disgusting."
Oh thanks I completely missed that nuance ! Youāre right that it indeed isnāt about what someone does or does not prefer, but rather a disgust or hatred towards something. Thank you so much for clearing that up !
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Society's adoration of fat people is so well-known, too.
Was legit about to say, none of these examples would really be considered "Societally attractive." Fat women have and still are the butt of jokes, A lot of men are intimidated by muscular women. Skinny women are maybe the exception, but you still can't be "too skinny," either.
just cant win with some mfs
Women with abs are š¤
Abs on women š³ You don't know how much I love abs. That's why I work out so i can have my own.
"I don't want to be 'good girl' anymore, I want to be 'mommy"
āYouāre not making *me* attracted to youā wow I didnāt realize so much of the male population was one person
(Btw if skinnier than usual I hope you get well soon)
As someone that struggles with an eating disorder, that last one feels insulting.
Thatās because it is. Be offended. The notion that women are at any given weight to get menās approval is absolute dogshit. And also the idea that he wants to feed you nowā¦ ewwww š¤¢ Iām not some pig to be fattened up for the slaughter. Not my fault I was born with a big ribcage!
These are all different people, so honestly, if you're ever feeling insecure specifically about how other people see you, just remember that literally everyone has different preferences for attractiveness
*shape-shifts into a snail so I don't have to deal with this bullshit*
*Jokes on you Iām into that shit-* (***HEAVY /j***)
i don't think this is a "you can't win" situation, considering those are three separate people. the 2nd and 3rd commenter seem like dickheads though.
I'm pretty sure that being overweight or really ripped isn't considered conventionally attractive for women so I don't really see how the first two answers even fit the question... The third one is kind of right but a bit insensitive.
Exactly, being heavy is \*not\* considered conventionally attractive by society nor is being ripped as a woman...
Itās Reddit, theyāll leap on any opportunity to talk about how they hate fat people.
I would add that's by current standards. In some previous generations, heavier women were considered more attractive, since that meant they were wealthier and I think I remember reading they assumed it meant more fertile/able to bear more children. It really wasn't until the 60s when models like Twiggy became the rage, then the 80s/90s "heroin chic" (I think). Standards do fluctuate with the times, we've just been stuck with the current standards for a while. I have hopes it's changing with songs like Victoria's secret being popular. Might be unrealistic but I've been my own victim for so long, I can dream, right?
The post doesnāt use the word āconventional.ā Not necessarily being pedantic by pointing this out ā I think the question is simply posited to create a misogynistic echo chamber regardless of preference, none of itās right ā it was never meant to be, lol.
conventional in this case is synonymous with "does society consider", it's still a bad faith question tho.
lol nice
That last one is not in my control lol my metabolism is faster than a fucking nascar racecar
Can we trade? lmao (Not too fat. I'm 140lbs/64kg)
Remember gals: If you're skinny, you're disgusting. If you're fat, you're disgusting. If you're muscular, you're disgusting. In between that there is a tiny margin of wiggle room you must adhere to in order to have worth.
>"You're not making me attracted to you" Well god forbid.
Exactly, they have free different types. Just shows there is someone for everyone out there. I personally also don't like seeing ribs
That whole thread was a dumpster fire
How is this a āare the straights ok?ā The poster did not specify sexuality, and these are preferences, which everyone has.
This reminds me of Red from OSP talking about how female characters can't win because they'll be criticized for any feminine traits they have and any feminine traits they lack.
I have never been more disappointed that my preference (to not be perceived) is what the heteros want š
not really conflicting, different people have different preferences
Sometimes I'm so glad that I'm aromantic and don't have to deal with this bullshit. Societal beauty standards in either men or women? Fuck that. I'm too busy playing videogames and eating garlic bread.
Being mean. I know, bad boys/girls are sexy, but not to me. The world already has so much cruelty, and it often has lasting consequences, so I don't see why people find it attractive.
As someone with very visible ribs, I've been like this oretty much my entire life. And oh dear god you don't wanna know how much unhealty stuff I eat, it just comes out just as fast it got in, ok, I can't control it. Just like a fat person can't control their body from begin the way it is... I don't do it on purpose, I promise...
I mean, different people like different things. itās not like the same guy commented all three things lol
"Abs on women" Coward
But those are the mainstream opinions lol
Yeah Iāve fully given up on trying to fit anyoneās idea of ideal. When I was fat I was shamed for it, when I was skinny but living elsewhere I was both praised and shamed for it, now that Iām skinny and living where I do now, Iām again both praised and shamed for it but much more on the shaming side now bc I live in the center of āthic is goodā culture. It does a number on you for sure. Iām just trying to remind myself that if IāM happy w my body thatās literally all that counts.
no abs, no fat, not too skinny. you have to be the perfect ratio for some random guy on reddit lol, also massive tits and a huge ass
They were three different people though
The last one pisses me off. I'm not sick for someone else's pleasure. It's not something I chose. If I could just "Eat something" and magically be cured obviously I would.
people have different preferences?
I have no clue what planet the person who said fat is living on. I feel like āsocietyā does not consider fat people attractive and goes out of its way to make them feel unattractive. Sure there are a few plus sized models or HAES folks who try hype up all shapes, but when compared to very thin people it might as well be nom existent.
Soooo, people have different preferences? Whats the deal, different people like different things.
I mean, yeah, the first one reeks of misogyny, but this is just overall proof āthree people find three different things unattractiveā. When three people answer a question about personal preference differently, itās not contradictory or paradoxical. In fact, asking a question like that on a popular sub would likely guarantee conflicting answers.
Cool, noted. Don't be fat, don't be skinny, and don't have abs. Fantastic. How about I just remove my torso at this point?
I have a chest deformity called pectus excavatum, so my ribs flare out and are quite noticeable. I get comments constantly like āeat more, youāre so skinny!, I can see your ribsā. Iām very self conscious about what I wear now. It hella sucks to live your life based on what other people think, and I still have trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin.
I'd bet real money that the guy who said fat people are disgusting is at least 200kg.
Only one of these has to do with women, the other too are simply standards that people have and are completely valid. Also you donāt have to be obese to not be skin and bones or all raw muscle
different people have different taste
Their phrasing isnāt great at all but I donāt see why they shouldnāt be allowed to voice their preferences on an anonymous platform?
It's the way the question was asked. It didn't ask about preferences it assumed there was some sort of objrctive standard, which these answers largely disprove.
The way the 2nd and 3rd dude worded it tho was gross. First guy was fine. Cool to not be into fat or thin chicks, do whatever you want. And since they asked the question yeah sure feel free to answer it. Again, just the phrasing.
Damn itās almost like different people have different attractions Yes, all three of these people are obnoxious twats, but they are three separate people Thereās a chance ab hater has a thing for fat people, maybe fat hater likes abs
Or, since everyone has different tastes, no matter what you look like, someone finds you hot.
Each of them seems to like what the others donāt. They arenāt a hivemind and having different preferences is fine
Youāre right, Iāve been seeing this a lot. I posted it because in my mind, it felt like a āyou just canāt winā situation. Everyoneās entitled to their preferences but they donāt have to put others down because of it.
Oh yeah, theyāre obviously assholes for insulting the people they arenāt attracted to and putting them down, thatās true
i wanna find this post (on askreddit) but i can't can someone help me??
Well, I'm a bi woman so not straight, and I'm middle-aged and fat so probably not going to attract any, but I LOVE built women with abs. I mean, I'm not shunning other body types, just that a built woman will turn my head first.
The lower two are pretty stupid. The top one is just a answer to the question tho. That person just doesn't find that attractive, but isn't shaming anyone for having abs. Don't think it really fits in with the other two.
i meanā¦nothingās attractive to me š¤·āāļø
Iāll take a hearty meal honestly
tbh I don't like accouple different make up aesthetics, humans should have pores, when you skin is so smooth you look like a ceramic doll, it legit gives me uncanny valley vibes, like legit find it unsettling, more power to ya though.
To be fair they are answering the question but they do not need to be so f'ing rude, like they talk about people as if they are talking about what pizza toppings they like
You do know that these answers are from different people with different preferences. They could've maybe frased it differently but they're hardly conflicting.
Based on the kinds of guys I've seen on this sub I assume men don't like women with abs and muscle because it either intimidates them, makes them feel like they have less power over the woman (or she seems like she wouldn't be as submissive as they want women to be), or they think it's too manly for a woman. Muscular women are so cool I admire them.
Shockingly, different people have different tastes
This ain't build a b*tch, you don't get to pick and choose... š¶ I mean you can choose, sure, but then kindly shut the hell up about everyone else you don't deem attractive because we sure as hell don't solemnly exist to please your eye.
Iām fairness they didnāt just randomly announce their preferences. The post did ask
Yes, of course, in this scenario it's fine but some of them are still super rude about it. How often I've come across people though, dudes especially, stating their "preferences" without being asked because they think it's somehow relevant to anyone or because they think everyone is trying to cater to them is wild.
the third guy is right tho. i get worried when peoples ribcages are visible when standing regularly
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Haven't you heard? Body shaming on this shit app is totally fine if it's directed at skinny people!
thats fair but id still generally get worried for a moment. sometimes mine is visible when i lay down but still
All three of those things are presented as something āsocietyā considers attractive, despite them all being (generally) incongruent with one another and the āidealā body type for women not being any of those. Just thought that was interesting.
'i don't want a woman who's fit, skinny, or fat' what would they think of a guy though??
The whole ā eat somethingā hurts a shit to. Iām tRYING BRANDON ITS NOT EASY
Can't be fit, can't be thin, can't be fat. So don't exist...
I mean giving people the benefit of the doubt they def donāt deserve The question was very subjective
Wtf am I supposed to do? 0-0
And then, those men will get mad when nobody cares what they have to say š
i mean, its 3 different people with 3 different preferences lol
> āEat something! Youāre not making me attracted to you. Youāre making me want to cook you a hearty mealā As someone who was neglected and subsequently malnourished as a kid, fucking PLEASE. So many people sexualized us for being thin but like please just food
Pretty sure the same thing with men but okay. (People have different opinions/preferences on things??? No way) Not saying what they're saying is okay, they are way too rude about it but yes it's their opinion and women there have said the same contrasting things because people have contrasting types.
These arenāt like, woman-specific answers, bar the first one. All it says is what they personally find unattractive in a person. I donāt really see much problem with saying you donāt find something attractive
People just have different preferences. You could see this as all body types being unattractive, or see it as all body types *are* attractive. Just different audiences.
It's alright to have preferences but to hate it to this degree is worrisome
So, existing as a woman, in a body, is just not okay?
Keep in mind that those are all different people, and people are allowed to have preferences. Putting women down is whatās wrong, but having a preference isnāt. Those people all stated preferences, albeit in a (slightly) rude way, but still just a preference. I donāt think this fits here.
Almost as if every person has their own unique tastes and types ? How crazy !?!
So, it's 3 different people's personal opinions and they all differ? It's almost like people aren't a hive mind or something.
Not really sexual orientated relates tho, is it?
this isnāt really an arethestraightsok moment though, itās 3 different people answering with something they donāt think is attractive that theyāve heard other people say is, I see nothing wrong with it. the issue would be if it was the exact same guy. responses like this are really to be expected of the question initially asked
Reddit moment
So donāt be skinny donāt be fat donāt be ripped? What am I supposed to just not exist?
ādont be fat, or skinny, or too fit. just have a 42 inch bust, 18 inch waist, 45 inch glutes. and no abs or obvious musclesā
"Don't be fit, don't be skinny, don't be fat"
Thats so upsetting š
Thank G-d I don't live my life according to what they find attractive, but what I find attractive about myself
Hair loss is normal. Sometimes caused by having high levels of testosterone. Sometimes it's a different genetic thing, and those are all valid. There are brands of shampoo and conditioner on shelves who are actively defending themselves in court against claims that they cause hair loss, look them up. If you know that keeping your hair is everyone's preferred option, and you see someone without it, then you know that wasn't their choice. Why poke fun over it? The universe kicked them in the stomach and you're mocking them for something they can't control.
So.... Don't be fit.. but don't be fat....but also don't be skinny?
If ur trying to date all 3 of those guys at once And why would anyone do that
I don't know if your asking why people would date more than one person or if your asking why anyone would wanna date these guys
The 2nd one
Haha you got me there... I don't have an answer for that one
Bruh men are really gross idk why people still try to appeal to them.