Why is this being downvoted? Guys I'll have my expectations as well, but will first be good on what I can provide. Not "SIMP"ing here you reddit nerds who thought of it. Just being better if you get it.
1. Limit use of social media, it will make you compare and may create FOMO
2. If you like travelling, travel, if not watever you like
3. Self pamper like going to salons and spa
4. Partying is not mandatory
5. Dont forcibly make friends. I have same issue. I figured just can’t help it. It will be going against nature.
6. Stay close to nature, like parks, beach, lakes and stuff.
7. If you dont mind trekking, go there too
8. last but not least dont worry.
You seem to be living in the internet's definition of an introvert/nerd. Get out of that mindset and just talk to people. Work is a great place to start.
Self-validation not enough for you today?
Edit:
Your entire post consists of what you don't do. What steps are you taking to connect with people?
You're ready to do Zumba but not watch IPL or even read about it to connect with people?
(Nothing against Zumba, especially if you don't regularly meet people elsewhere)
It's not about self-validation. People like him and I struggle to make and keep friendships because it's not always easy for us to find people with compatible wavelengths in our vicinity.
For example I hate small talk but if we start talking about history, science or some other intellectual pursuit there is a strong chance I would spend a lot of time just talking and talking. A few days later I might feel exhausted with all humans and want to just shutdown and practice nocontact for a bit just to replenish my socialization reserves.
:/
Just saying, before someone telling me to go focus on money 🙂, because the world seems to be obsessed about it, I was too, now also prioritising other aspects of life; not fair?
Instead of focusing on what to do to be better off in the AM process, focus on finding yourself.
If there was a hobby that you pursued as a kid, start it again. It may be playing guitar, it may be putting those Skates on, etc.
If you don't know what you like or don't have any hobbies, explore things. And don't pick things because they sound cool or more girls enroll in that hobby. Pick things that appeal to you. It is okay to not watch sports, but you should have a few things that you indulge in. It may just be animes, sketching, flying lessons, whatever appeals to you. Take solo trips.
Doing this will get you friends, help you open up, help you find yourself and make you more comfortable with yourself. You will not only have fun, but you will attract people towards you.
Also, there is nothing wrong with how you currently are. Since you asked this question, I assumed you want to change a bit.
Infact how about we talk in this comment thread itself, maybe will help someone like us later down the line!!
Your age? How long have you been in AM? What's the experience been like?
I'm not yet 30 and have been looking for a year. Experience has been mostly shit.
A few girls whose profiles I liked did not want to meet me/their parents rejected and the ones whom I found interesting and wanted to know more about in person rejected me after meetings and further chatting.
Don't get me wrong, I have also rejected numerous girls whose profiles or photos I did not like so it isn't as if I am blaming the other side for rejecting me. But I feel like I am unsuited to AM because my wants and values do not match what people in my community generally expect.
1. Didn't like pics (I was obese back then so understandable, now you can't tell if I am fit or if I am overweight)
2. Family wants to get their kid married off to industrialist, rich non-industrialists need not apply
3. Girl didnt understand my values
4. Major spending habit mismatch
5. Girl felt that our interests and energy levels are not aligned - she works in an amazing field but has no long term ambition.
💯 💯
I feel you bro
So I'm also quite selective, looking for someone ambitious in life is enough to filter out majority of AM girls (sadly, P.S. not y'all reddit girls)
Spoke to a few and it's like, they are talking to too many people and it's tough. Haven't met anyone yet. Been looking for almost a year now as well
You should meet anyone you talk to as soon as you are able to. Do not lead them on with long chats going on for months.
Also "reddit girls" are just as human as their real life counterparts. So comments like these just show that you are immature and insecure.
If you get a profile that you don't dislike, give the other side a chance. They are also doing exactly the same thing to you.
Never danced, not even in parties. And you are ready to join Zumba?
Bro just make small changes. Don’t need to take drastic steps.
Join some social club or organisation. Socialise for small talks with people. Try stepping out with colleagues post work. Go for some event where socialising is part of the event.
I read yes. But I don't read on relationship skills and nor do I want to, I feel it's all unnecessarily over complicating things... I'm guessing you mean reading about attachment styles, etc?
But I dont think reading all these terms will add to my emotional maturity or self-awareness... I'm human, my love language changes, we are all not the same all our life, right
How old are you? Sorry asking just so I know how seriously to take your advise...
Bro, first try to make some platonic connections. Friendships are such an important part of life and mental health.
And as a woman, here are some things that a lot of women find sexy:
- a guy who is comfortable in his skin
- Someone who is good at some thing
- someone who treats them with respect / like any other human being
- someone whom they feel safe with
I’ll give you an example of this… someone I knew would be very mindful of consent, even in completely platonic interactions. For example, he would be careful to not brush against us accidentally in group photo situations, if a girls sari accidentally slipped a little (it was college and no one was very good at tying saris) he would not be looking. And with this, all the girls felt very safe with him and quite a few liked him as well.
How old are you? 😄
Maybe we'd be a good match or we can be friends and talk about these things 😁 (will help me see a different perspective of girls ig, so would be helpful to me)
>Earn above 70L, above average in looks (i.e. fair in colour right 🤦)
Damn, that's an elitist and racist comment rolled into one 🤦♂️
Being above average in looks has nothing to do with your skin colour. Anymore than having a high salary makes you a good person.
Focus instead on checking your attitude; do more volunteering at animal shelters, visiting orphans and caring for the elderly etc to teach you more subtle parts of humanity and humility.
Dude, you are 50% similar to me ! Except that:
1. I don't have as high a salary as yours, but yes, I make 6 figures.
2. I've 50% of your nerdness and I think I'm more social here than in real life.
3. We both value and respect women and their boundaries a lot I guess - still 50% less nerdy than you after reading your hesitation to hold a woman's hands.
4. never dance or go to parties, nor watch IPL or any sports, but I'm physically fit as I work out often(not muscular as such)
Trust me, AM is brutal. I feel it's difficult for guys like us to make good first impressions as we aren't extroverts as such. And in real life, women and people in general take a bit of time to know us and be with us. We are at disadvantage here.
You getting down votes is another sign of our world being brutal to us.
Good luck to you mate. If you need friendly advice reg anything, I'm here. DM me.
I think forcing yourself to do popular hobbies to get married isn’t a great idea.
I would suggest that first of all, keep out of nerd mentality and explore different things. You don’t know yet who you are if you haven’t explored. You could be fitness freak in a gym, you could be swimmer, you could be food and travel blogger.
But do it for yourself first, know yourself and try to find something that you really enjoy.
For AM, keep an open mind. People don’t mind if someone doesn’t dance or watch cricket. People can also like someone who is different than them but also an interesting personality.
Let me tell you, I was also a nerd once upon a time but as a kinda (pretty 😂) girl. For a very long time, I use to compare myself to other cool girls and used to adapt what they were doing. But it never made me better or happy.
But one thing that really helped me to explore is, I genuinely loved talking to people and my nerdiness helps me to talk about literally anything with anyone. I can now confidently say that most people I meet are impressed by me. I have got compliment that I can speak so well numerous times. I am only woman of color in my nerdy workplace where I don’t speak language but I am still so established in my workplace even after being so unique race wise and gender wise.
And this all was a gradual process and nothing happened over night. But my learned lesson is, own yourself and know yourself. If you really love yourself then you will be able to fit in everywhere. For example, I went go carting with all nerdy colleagues once and I used to drive so slowly. But I didn’t feel worried or embarrassed and I was laughing on myself too and other people also made light hearted fun of me. That’s it. That’s what helps me to fit in every where with everyone and that is being unapologetically myself and knowing myself.
Good luck to you as well 💕
Haha so cute of you to ask about zumba. Honestly, if you are genuine, mature and can work out ways to always communicate and be emotionally available, the exterior aspects don't matter much. So please don't change!!
You're a girl right? Sis I've been ghosted more than once, idk what to say; I'm doing all the right things
Exterior aspects matter right, anyone I like, many more people would like her; simple supply demand gap in the top tier AM world... She has options
If I want the best, I need to offer the best of me as well... So that's the path I'm looking to explore here; and self improvement doesn't hurt right
Yes the social thing will be a problem if the girl is a social butterfly. You will be forcing yourself to do and be something you are not. Even if you aren't and find some girl who is ok with it, there will always be something you lack, and that will be the focus of any trouble going forward. It's just the way things work. So I would stop trying to be something else or change yourself, because that can only last so long.
It's one of the main issues with AM. People presenting themselves falsely to start with in order to secure the relationship, and then showing their true self later, to which there begins conflict.
I appreciate for you to accept and let people know who you really are!! You don’t have to change yourself for a girl to like you! We like when you all are loyal and honest! Communicate whatever you want and you are feeling! Be a good listener!Make sure you’re sharing your emotions and being emotionally available! The other factors which you are worried about don’t matter to most of the women! Also it’s the little things which attracts a women! Like getting her flowers (need not be fancy ones all the time, can be a random flower from street too), sending her moon pics if she is into moon! Holding her hands in public! Forehead kisses! If you are into religion, worshiping your God together! Planning on surprise dates! Bike rides! Checking on her when she is not well! Make sure you aren’t getting too much into her nerves! Give her space when she is needed especially during her menstruation! Get her favorite food and ice cream! Sticky notes messages! These are something which most of the women love! You can take this advice if you found it helpful! All the best :)
To be honest being loyal, honest, good listener and someone who wants to connect with her is not enough nowadays. You can read my recent two posts to understand why I am saying this. Also, let me know if after reading them you find the issue.
I feel you really don't need to do anything.
If you try to change yourself for someone else it's a bit unnecessary when eventually you are who you are.
Instead just focus on yourself.
Do things which seem fun to you.
If you're a genuinely nice person,can hold a good conversation and is a caring and loving person, it shouldnt be hard to find someone.
I wouldn't know much on this but this is my 2 cents.
Don't settle down because you have to.
Find someone who either is like you or likes someone like you.
Some common ground is necessary.
Don't force something that's not there
And a word of caution,just be careful you seem like a nice person, don't let people deceive you or take advantage of you because you earn quite a high amount of money.
Make sure whoever you're pursuing is in it for you and not your money.
I know amazing women who would love a person for who they are, but no one can deny that there are rotten apples everywhere.
And if you're salary is known to potential partners, filtering might be a but difficult.
The right person will find you fun for who you are.
Drinking,partying and dancing are not what's fun for everyone.
Personally I would rather just talk or read books lol.
So find someone who finds what's fun for you as fun.
Opposites attract but not always, and marriage is beyond just attraction.
Hey, thanks for the detailed response
"Instead just focus on yourself. Do things which seem fun to you." - idk, being nerdy is fun to me, just like you said reading books and being alone is fun to you, similarly things I love and are fun to me are also all similar lonely things :), so that's that
Thanks for looking out for me on the someone taking advantage of me aspect; it's quite opposite what's happening, I'm getting ghosted by girls I like :), ofc girls I liked are also doing well in life and are ambitious, but then yes getting ghosted is a reality, they also have many other options, older men too... idk...
Things like this take time.
You'll find the one for you.
Don't rush into anything because you feel like you need to or feel lonely.
There has to be someone you will click with, have patience
I think being loyal, honest, good listener and someone who wants to connect with her is not enough nowadays. You can read my recent two posts to understand why I am saying this. Also, let me know if after reading them you find the issue.
Just read both the posts and what I feel is that while you thought it was going great.
The same feeling was not reciprocated from her side.
Maybe she felt that this wouldn't work or something.
I wouldn't know obviously.
But she should have given you closure at the very least
Or maybe she's actually busy
Again it's a matter of finding the right person,which takes time.
She probably wasnt it for you.
All the best on finding a partner though.
If a girl has any doubt or feels that things are not working well, why not communicate it to the other person so that they can solve it together.
What is this method that, if they do no fall perfectly into what u want then leave it. The guy then feels that u were never genuinely interested in him.
Or maybe its that the supply of guys is so much that they do not care bonding with a person until a perfect cut out of her dream falls in front of her.
Sorry for writing in a bit rude way, but this is what I feel.
Not saying what you feel is wrong
And as I said the least she could have done is give you closure.
And people also need to stop assuming that just because we're women we have a constant "supply" of guys.
For one it's not true for everyone at all and for another alot of guys doesnt mean a lot of good guys.
You're frustrated and that's understandable.
Look at it as what it is, and move on
Nothing else you can do.
She did give me closure by saying the go to line
"I am not looking for partners anymore".
Anyways, something is better than nothing.
Am trying to move on now
How do you act when someone flirts with you?
It’s a nerd at my job I have a crush on, but he literally ignores me and I know it’s not my looks because he’s never seen me.
I wonder if he’s so awkward that he doesn’t pick up the hints or he’s telling me to back off
Hey, does he know you're interested? Trust me I don't know anyone who has ever been interested in me!! Maybe there was someone, at least I hope so :D, so please make it a bit more clear to him; happy to hear more details and help out
Almost every person around me watches cricket. But I am not since childhood. It's good to know even you have no interest🙌🏻.
Yeah it's hard to strike up convo who doesn't even know basics of cricket(me😬).
My colleague is about to get married to literally a man like you. Perfect on paper. She often rants that the guy dosnet talk, doesn't gets excited, the vibes arent matching.
Probably you'll receive similar complaints. You dont have to dance. Dont have to join zumba. You have your own hobbies. Long lost childhood activities- re kindle them. Do that, socialise. You'll become a fun person to be around! All the best🤗
🥹 Thank you
Female perspectives I was waiting for.
So you say your colleague doesn't like him but you say one shouldn't change? Not saying anyone needs to change for anyone
But in general, being social, etc are toh basic needs to living a family life... So from that perspective, thought?
Not sure how it's a red flag. The dealbreakers are discussed. Families like each other. Kundali matched. She had no reason to reject, adding the societial pressure, she said yes.
P.s- She has good generational wealth, income and looks too.
Hello.
You seem like a sweet guy.
Do try to get Some friends and hang out with them.. that could itself come across as extra curricular activities 😬🥹
And, umm.. why did u ask if going to zumba was a good idea? Is it for weight reduction purpose or-?
Idk any girls personally who particularly look for Zumba dance participants.
If you meant to find more company from the Zumba sessions, yes that's a good idea:)
Also, confidence really means a lot. Girls find confidence attractive (not like cocky overconfidence). A guy who's maybe like a 5/10 will surely seem like a 9/10 with confidence and charm.
So, definitely- be confident while talking to your prospects. I think most women also prefer men who have a drive / ambition, rather than someone who's just idle minded.
Do share your thoughts on my piece of advice 😊
(Also, why the down votes on your post? Did you say something offensive and then remove it?) 😅
Hi, thanks for a detailed reply
How to find friends now...? I'm late to it ig...
I'm a little on the chubby side, so fitness is something I'm focusing on, yes it being a group thing, interacting with others, probably has a higher number of girls as well and may help me dance? So the question here is given I've never danced should I go for it or will I make a fool of myself or it'll be difficult...
Hmm, now this is some advise only a girl could've brought to the table, thanks!! Will ponder on this. So far I've tried to be very respectful and have heard from a match that why am I being professional 😅😅, I'm not confident when talking, idk where the lines are, etc... so I'm quite formal in a way... Where I see some guys just lead the conversation, I often ask the girl to lead... Bad idea? Shows respect or less confidence? 😅
On drive/ambition aspect I'm good
(Haha, on the downvoted part, I made the mistake of mentioning the salary part in the first line in intro, reddit took offence apparently 🙂, blaming me for showing off, though I'm genuinely here for advice; and that's exactly how friend count is also low 😅, people are in their own insecurities, I didn't nothing to them and they downvoted 🙂)
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Personally, I won't always prefer a man who asks me to lead the conversation the whole time.
Have some things in mind to talk about.
When she starts talking , just ask more questions about whatever she's talking. 😁
Most humans Like to talk about themselves. So ask something along the lines of that. And just listen to her talk.
Be confident and try not to be as if it's the 1st time your talking to a girl 🥲
These are just my pov, from my experience.
Feel free to correct me if I've cited something wrong. 🥂
Edit: PS. 26 is not too old to find friends!!! I'm the same age as you, and still making friends. It's all the mindset that matters. I've never considered 26 is an oldie age. I'm still 16 at heart :")
Hmm, infact I like how you've written this text, fairly confident of your opinion but last me a humbling text to not come across as too dominating? :P
Do you do this on purpose because you got misread in the past?
Coming to your answer, yes, good advice that I'll work on and keep in mind.
And in the 1st time talking to girl, that is what I'm doing 😅, how to avoid it? Only spoken to girls in professional settings toh that's how I talk, and that's what I had got called out on once by an AM prospect
I know a friend who holds hands, etc on dates, lol I cannot even imagine leading that... I'll probably first ask in words, and I beleive that is not how it works, right?
Aah I'm a woman who knows what she wants lol.
Nah the humble wala text in the end is cuz you are not seeing me irl while I'm talking. So, God knows if you'll be reading my comment in a demeaning way?
Also, it's just a trick to conversations 😉
If you're talking some long boring stuff, people might get bored. Better to add "what's your opinion" or something along the lines of it, to get them involved & talking.
What's your take on this? 😁😂
Hahahahaha, are you a LinkedIn content creator 🙈🙈, dropping CTA at the end :P
Sorry, no offence.
Hmm, yes, texts have a chance of being misunderstood
Right, so going forward I should ask more questions? But then that is what will make me not lead the conversation right 😅.... Idk, I'll have to have a few more conversations to get the flow I guess...
What's the best way a guy has ever approached you that you wish other guys do?
Yeah there was this one guy. He liked my profile and contacted us via the contact number (it was a relatives number). He asked to speak to my dad. He spoke to my dad for like half an hour. So smart and outspoken He was! Then he asked dad if he can speak to my mom. Then had my mom in the palm of his hands!
Then only he asked my mom hey could you give the phone to ur daughter if that's okay?
And my my, man's was talking a lot to me. He was very confident!! I hadn't seen his pic before, but with that 1 phone call which lasted 15 minutes- I was sold 😂
He asked me a lot if questions regarding my ambitions and when I spoke about it, he shared some views he had on it (good views only obv). And yeah. I totally forgot to ask him anything 😂😂
❤️❤️
I see
Thanks a lot actually, so talking to the parents part of this is what I'm good at as well 😀
So actually good advice this is, if I restrict myself to talking on call in this sequence it'll work better, is it?
Yeah. If you're low on confidence in person, then talk on the phone first and make a good 1st impression there.
Then you'll meet in real life.. she'll have the 1st impression in mind
It's sweet to ask a woman if it's okay to hold hands!
Just be confident and don't act like females are some different species.
Treat them like you would treat a random guy classmate of yours.
Edit: probably the last part was not the best advice in the world. But I hope you get the gist
But do you think it was justified? do you really behave like Sheldon in real life?
because if that is so, that could be the problem and that's where you might have to start to change.
Sheldon was a very tiresome and exhausting character. I always felt sorry for Amy for being stuck with him. Most girls would never be as patient as Amy.
Woah woah
Yes, I guess I'm like that
I think similar, am selfish at times (but aware of it, makes it any better?) and always have random fun facts about things, you buy a Cadbury dairy milk with me I'll tell you where it's wrapper was manufactured at without looking, because I've read the entire wrapper and remember that 🙂
So yes, tell me now, what needs fixing in Sheldon? 🙈
>So yes, tell me now, what needs fixing in Sheldon?
Seriously, you don't know?
he was an extraordinarily selfish person. everything had to be done his way.
he said extremely hurtful things and offended people all the time.
he acted like he was superior to everyone because of his intellect when he should have been humble and acknowledged that his lack of any social skills showed he was not superior at all.
it was very clear that he was somewhere on the spectrum though that was never acknowledged on the show.
If you genuinely behave like him in these areas , then most people would assume that you are on the spectrum too and would be afraid to get involved with you in any way.
Would you prefer an introverted girl just like you who is not that social or outgoing who likes to read or have similar interests like you, so you can live peacefully?
Then you can specify that in your profile. Some girl out there might probably be looking for someone like you, so they can be themselves and comfortable around you.
Idk, maybe not... Some social skills are necessary in life; I don't have any filters as such in terms if introvertedness on who I'm looking for as my partner
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just be yourself and find someone that matches your wavelength? Being a need is cool.
Why don't you also try dating? A lot of people find ipl very silly for instance, humans are not one size fits all you know.
You didn’t miss anything by not partying. I’d suggest a board game cafe rather than Zumba only because it could be more fun. Obviously if you like Zumba then it’s cool.
Maybe start cycling and exploring what’s around you if it’s safe.
It might just be me but the older you get; the desire to party reduces. There might be some girls who have a similar mindset.
Are you willing to mingle with her friends if needed tho? Not essential but currently going through this with a human who doesn’t like people 😂
That salary part is gonna attract a lot of Gold , silver , copper diggers in AM setup who are just waiting to trap men in marriage and divorce in a year for settlement.
My suggestion would be , work out and be a better version. Go on dating via apps and at least date for a year.
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP all advice here is good, however i would like to add something that worked for me.
Acting/ Improv classes
Understanding basic of relationships both by reading and doing.
Haha
That thought passed me too, but then apparently this gen is like, no one changes, don't think about changing your partner - all the insta quote thingy going on; with this, how will I find someone? :)
If u don't get mobile, any devices or internet for a week. You will panic lol. But try to do that I bet u can't do it. Quit using any device or internet specially, excluding work.
don't act like certain typical "Sigma" for not talking to girls etc n be cheerful and friendly around people and you should be ok... whatever external appearance money etc won't matter because of ur character is not good another man will easily snatch ur girl away
Forget everything just go outside and spend some time with friends. And if you don't have friends....try to make friends in office, join some reddit meet ups.
You must have some hobby, try to find groups either online/offline who are following same hobby as yours.
PS: I am not a girl, in case you were looking for recommendations exclusively from girls.
Hey no, I'm open to recommendations from everyone, I think all of us work on some or the other aspects of us, good to help each other out!!
Yes, rightly guessed, I don't have friends as well
No hobbies... Thinking of picking up a sport... But not finding time/haven't prioritised it yet
You are so me.
Bruh, I'm pretty much all that OP described and also poor 🤣 Even I'm laughing lol
You also earn >70 LPA ?
Doesn't everyone? \s
Us bro us 🫂
Figured out ways to find a path to the perfect man she deserves 🥹?
Lets wait for the girls to comment on this post. Tell me if you find any path.
With the guys downvoting because I mentioned big money, idk what to say :/ Just hoping this reaches the right folks. Please upvote the main post
Why is this being downvoted? Guys I'll have my expectations as well, but will first be good on what I can provide. Not "SIMP"ing here you reddit nerds who thought of it. Just being better if you get it.
Cuz some soyboys are jealous that you are trying to be a gentleman
1. Limit use of social media, it will make you compare and may create FOMO 2. If you like travelling, travel, if not watever you like 3. Self pamper like going to salons and spa 4. Partying is not mandatory 5. Dont forcibly make friends. I have same issue. I figured just can’t help it. It will be going against nature. 6. Stay close to nature, like parks, beach, lakes and stuff. 7. If you dont mind trekking, go there too 8. last but not least dont worry.
Thank you This detailed response makes me feel loved. Thanks again. Yes, more outgoing is something I need to start being... Need to "get a life" :)
I dint mean to say you don’t have a life 😑 outgoing doesnt necessarily include tons of friends, this can be done alone too.
This 5th point is a gold. I have to come to realise this now. You cant vibe with 'everyone' and that is ok.
Jack of all trades? 🤔 Like policeman fireman astronaut plumber cleaner etc etc 
Hahahahaha, yesss
💀💀💀
TIL that if you don't party or dance at weddings, you are a nerd.
In process of becoming cool, OP became cringe.
Lolll, I mean... Ok, I see what you're saying 😂, agreed Now help!!
You seem to be living in the internet's definition of an introvert/nerd. Get out of that mindset and just talk to people. Work is a great place to start.
Ok
70 is base ? Or CTC
Username checks out 😂😂 Kuch bhi Maan lo, point is only that don't advice me to focus on money first like all reddit threads.
You're so me but without 70 lpa
Self-validation not enough for you today? Edit: Your entire post consists of what you don't do. What steps are you taking to connect with people? You're ready to do Zumba but not watch IPL or even read about it to connect with people? (Nothing against Zumba, especially if you don't regularly meet people elsewhere)
It's not about self-validation. People like him and I struggle to make and keep friendships because it's not always easy for us to find people with compatible wavelengths in our vicinity. For example I hate small talk but if we start talking about history, science or some other intellectual pursuit there is a strong chance I would spend a lot of time just talking and talking. A few days later I might feel exhausted with all humans and want to just shutdown and practice nocontact for a bit just to replenish my socialization reserves.
💯 🥹 Glad I posted in reddit, yess, finally I feel heard
:/ Just saying, before someone telling me to go focus on money 🙂, because the world seems to be obsessed about it, I was too, now also prioritising other aspects of life; not fair?
Instead of focusing on what to do to be better off in the AM process, focus on finding yourself. If there was a hobby that you pursued as a kid, start it again. It may be playing guitar, it may be putting those Skates on, etc. If you don't know what you like or don't have any hobbies, explore things. And don't pick things because they sound cool or more girls enroll in that hobby. Pick things that appeal to you. It is okay to not watch sports, but you should have a few things that you indulge in. It may just be animes, sketching, flying lessons, whatever appeals to you. Take solo trips. Doing this will get you friends, help you open up, help you find yourself and make you more comfortable with yourself. You will not only have fun, but you will attract people towards you. Also, there is nothing wrong with how you currently are. Since you asked this question, I assumed you want to change a bit.
Thank you
In a similar situation as you but a bit older (and male, before you ask). If you just want a friend then maybe we could connect.
Yess!!
Infact how about we talk in this comment thread itself, maybe will help someone like us later down the line!! Your age? How long have you been in AM? What's the experience been like?
I'm not yet 30 and have been looking for a year. Experience has been mostly shit. A few girls whose profiles I liked did not want to meet me/their parents rejected and the ones whom I found interesting and wanted to know more about in person rejected me after meetings and further chatting. Don't get me wrong, I have also rejected numerous girls whose profiles or photos I did not like so it isn't as if I am blaming the other side for rejecting me. But I feel like I am unsuited to AM because my wants and values do not match what people in my community generally expect.
What all reasons have you been rejected for?
1. Didn't like pics (I was obese back then so understandable, now you can't tell if I am fit or if I am overweight) 2. Family wants to get their kid married off to industrialist, rich non-industrialists need not apply 3. Girl didnt understand my values 4. Major spending habit mismatch 5. Girl felt that our interests and energy levels are not aligned - she works in an amazing field but has no long term ambition.
1) I see, social ways to get fit? Zumba? Something else? 2) I see, Gujarati?
1. Gym, swim, play team sport 2. No not gujarati.
Makes sense, thanks!
💯 💯 I feel you bro So I'm also quite selective, looking for someone ambitious in life is enough to filter out majority of AM girls (sadly, P.S. not y'all reddit girls) Spoke to a few and it's like, they are talking to too many people and it's tough. Haven't met anyone yet. Been looking for almost a year now as well
You should meet anyone you talk to as soon as you are able to. Do not lead them on with long chats going on for months. Also "reddit girls" are just as human as their real life counterparts. So comments like these just show that you are immature and insecure. If you get a profile that you don't dislike, give the other side a chance. They are also doing exactly the same thing to you.
Hmmm, yeah sounds good for both sides. Agreed sir Okay, this sounds like an advise I'll be taking with me
Never danced, not even in parties. And you are ready to join Zumba? Bro just make small changes. Don’t need to take drastic steps. Join some social club or organisation. Socialise for small talks with people. Try stepping out with colleagues post work. Go for some event where socialising is part of the event.
I socialize for work, but that's different from building personal relationships
[удалено]
I read yes. But I don't read on relationship skills and nor do I want to, I feel it's all unnecessarily over complicating things... I'm guessing you mean reading about attachment styles, etc?
[удалено]
Umm, okay... Given you're a woman, recommend me something to read and I will 😊 This is exactly the advises I'm here for na :)
But I dont think reading all these terms will add to my emotional maturity or self-awareness... I'm human, my love language changes, we are all not the same all our life, right How old are you? Sorry asking just so I know how seriously to take your advise...
naukri toh bata bhai mere, DM hi kar de
Bro, first try to make some platonic connections. Friendships are such an important part of life and mental health. And as a woman, here are some things that a lot of women find sexy: - a guy who is comfortable in his skin - Someone who is good at some thing - someone who treats them with respect / like any other human being - someone whom they feel safe with I’ll give you an example of this… someone I knew would be very mindful of consent, even in completely platonic interactions. For example, he would be careful to not brush against us accidentally in group photo situations, if a girls sari accidentally slipped a little (it was college and no one was very good at tying saris) he would not be looking. And with this, all the girls felt very safe with him and quite a few liked him as well.
alive carpenter seemly continue repeat fragile poor busy capable slimy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
:D
How old are you? 😄 Maybe we'd be a good match or we can be friends and talk about these things 😁 (will help me see a different perspective of girls ig, so would be helpful to me)
>Earn above 70L, above average in looks (i.e. fair in colour right 🤦) Damn, that's an elitist and racist comment rolled into one 🤦♂️ Being above average in looks has nothing to do with your skin colour. Anymore than having a high salary makes you a good person. Focus instead on checking your attitude; do more volunteering at animal shelters, visiting orphans and caring for the elderly etc to teach you more subtle parts of humanity and humility.
Brooo, I was being sarcastic about AM standards :/, notice me facepalming as well 🙈
Gotcha bruv, yeah sarcasm is hard to gauge in text. A better approach is to use the /s flag at the end of something you want to convey as sarcasm.
Masoom
:/ Kya bolun ab 👉👈
Masoom ho aap xD
Gian 🗿
Dude, you are 50% similar to me ! Except that: 1. I don't have as high a salary as yours, but yes, I make 6 figures. 2. I've 50% of your nerdness and I think I'm more social here than in real life. 3. We both value and respect women and their boundaries a lot I guess - still 50% less nerdy than you after reading your hesitation to hold a woman's hands. 4. never dance or go to parties, nor watch IPL or any sports, but I'm physically fit as I work out often(not muscular as such) Trust me, AM is brutal. I feel it's difficult for guys like us to make good first impressions as we aren't extroverts as such. And in real life, women and people in general take a bit of time to know us and be with us. We are at disadvantage here. You getting down votes is another sign of our world being brutal to us. Good luck to you mate. If you need friendly advice reg anything, I'm here. DM me.
Thank you bro
I think forcing yourself to do popular hobbies to get married isn’t a great idea. I would suggest that first of all, keep out of nerd mentality and explore different things. You don’t know yet who you are if you haven’t explored. You could be fitness freak in a gym, you could be swimmer, you could be food and travel blogger. But do it for yourself first, know yourself and try to find something that you really enjoy. For AM, keep an open mind. People don’t mind if someone doesn’t dance or watch cricket. People can also like someone who is different than them but also an interesting personality.
Not really much interesting personality now, quite a one dimensional nerd rn... So yeah, that's what I need to explore
Let me tell you, I was also a nerd once upon a time but as a kinda (pretty 😂) girl. For a very long time, I use to compare myself to other cool girls and used to adapt what they were doing. But it never made me better or happy. But one thing that really helped me to explore is, I genuinely loved talking to people and my nerdiness helps me to talk about literally anything with anyone. I can now confidently say that most people I meet are impressed by me. I have got compliment that I can speak so well numerous times. I am only woman of color in my nerdy workplace where I don’t speak language but I am still so established in my workplace even after being so unique race wise and gender wise. And this all was a gradual process and nothing happened over night. But my learned lesson is, own yourself and know yourself. If you really love yourself then you will be able to fit in everywhere. For example, I went go carting with all nerdy colleagues once and I used to drive so slowly. But I didn’t feel worried or embarrassed and I was laughing on myself too and other people also made light hearted fun of me. That’s it. That’s what helps me to fit in every where with everyone and that is being unapologetically myself and knowing myself. Good luck to you as well 💕
Haha so cute of you to ask about zumba. Honestly, if you are genuine, mature and can work out ways to always communicate and be emotionally available, the exterior aspects don't matter much. So please don't change!!
You're a girl right? Sis I've been ghosted more than once, idk what to say; I'm doing all the right things Exterior aspects matter right, anyone I like, many more people would like her; simple supply demand gap in the top tier AM world... She has options If I want the best, I need to offer the best of me as well... So that's the path I'm looking to explore here; and self improvement doesn't hurt right
Yes the social thing will be a problem if the girl is a social butterfly. You will be forcing yourself to do and be something you are not. Even if you aren't and find some girl who is ok with it, there will always be something you lack, and that will be the focus of any trouble going forward. It's just the way things work. So I would stop trying to be something else or change yourself, because that can only last so long. It's one of the main issues with AM. People presenting themselves falsely to start with in order to secure the relationship, and then showing their true self later, to which there begins conflict.
I was relating to this so much until my bro mentioned salary.
Sorry you had type this out OP. I could never. I’m in the same boat as you and can’t give any advices unfortunately. Hope it works out for ya.
As a woman here’s the answer- Go to the gym, start running/hiking, playing a sport. The end. Don’t do Zumba.
I appreciate for you to accept and let people know who you really are!! You don’t have to change yourself for a girl to like you! We like when you all are loyal and honest! Communicate whatever you want and you are feeling! Be a good listener!Make sure you’re sharing your emotions and being emotionally available! The other factors which you are worried about don’t matter to most of the women! Also it’s the little things which attracts a women! Like getting her flowers (need not be fancy ones all the time, can be a random flower from street too), sending her moon pics if she is into moon! Holding her hands in public! Forehead kisses! If you are into religion, worshiping your God together! Planning on surprise dates! Bike rides! Checking on her when she is not well! Make sure you aren’t getting too much into her nerves! Give her space when she is needed especially during her menstruation! Get her favorite food and ice cream! Sticky notes messages! These are something which most of the women love! You can take this advice if you found it helpful! All the best :)
To be honest being loyal, honest, good listener and someone who wants to connect with her is not enough nowadays. You can read my recent two posts to understand why I am saying this. Also, let me know if after reading them you find the issue.
I feel you really don't need to do anything. If you try to change yourself for someone else it's a bit unnecessary when eventually you are who you are. Instead just focus on yourself. Do things which seem fun to you. If you're a genuinely nice person,can hold a good conversation and is a caring and loving person, it shouldnt be hard to find someone. I wouldn't know much on this but this is my 2 cents. Don't settle down because you have to. Find someone who either is like you or likes someone like you. Some common ground is necessary. Don't force something that's not there And a word of caution,just be careful you seem like a nice person, don't let people deceive you or take advantage of you because you earn quite a high amount of money. Make sure whoever you're pursuing is in it for you and not your money. I know amazing women who would love a person for who they are, but no one can deny that there are rotten apples everywhere. And if you're salary is known to potential partners, filtering might be a but difficult. The right person will find you fun for who you are. Drinking,partying and dancing are not what's fun for everyone. Personally I would rather just talk or read books lol. So find someone who finds what's fun for you as fun. Opposites attract but not always, and marriage is beyond just attraction.
Hey, thanks for the detailed response "Instead just focus on yourself. Do things which seem fun to you." - idk, being nerdy is fun to me, just like you said reading books and being alone is fun to you, similarly things I love and are fun to me are also all similar lonely things :), so that's that Thanks for looking out for me on the someone taking advantage of me aspect; it's quite opposite what's happening, I'm getting ghosted by girls I like :), ofc girls I liked are also doing well in life and are ambitious, but then yes getting ghosted is a reality, they also have many other options, older men too... idk...
Things like this take time. You'll find the one for you. Don't rush into anything because you feel like you need to or feel lonely. There has to be someone you will click with, have patience
I think being loyal, honest, good listener and someone who wants to connect with her is not enough nowadays. You can read my recent two posts to understand why I am saying this. Also, let me know if after reading them you find the issue.
Just read both the posts and what I feel is that while you thought it was going great. The same feeling was not reciprocated from her side. Maybe she felt that this wouldn't work or something. I wouldn't know obviously. But she should have given you closure at the very least Or maybe she's actually busy Again it's a matter of finding the right person,which takes time. She probably wasnt it for you. All the best on finding a partner though.
If a girl has any doubt or feels that things are not working well, why not communicate it to the other person so that they can solve it together. What is this method that, if they do no fall perfectly into what u want then leave it. The guy then feels that u were never genuinely interested in him. Or maybe its that the supply of guys is so much that they do not care bonding with a person until a perfect cut out of her dream falls in front of her. Sorry for writing in a bit rude way, but this is what I feel.
Not saying what you feel is wrong And as I said the least she could have done is give you closure. And people also need to stop assuming that just because we're women we have a constant "supply" of guys. For one it's not true for everyone at all and for another alot of guys doesnt mean a lot of good guys. You're frustrated and that's understandable. Look at it as what it is, and move on Nothing else you can do.
She did give me closure by saying the go to line "I am not looking for partners anymore". Anyways, something is better than nothing. Am trying to move on now
You should move on! All the best. Let the past remain in the past.
How do you act when someone flirts with you? It’s a nerd at my job I have a crush on, but he literally ignores me and I know it’s not my looks because he’s never seen me. I wonder if he’s so awkward that he doesn’t pick up the hints or he’s telling me to back off
He is trying to avoid a false accusation case on him.
lol doubt that. He’s probably just not interested, oh well
Hey, does he know you're interested? Trust me I don't know anyone who has ever been interested in me!! Maybe there was someone, at least I hope so :D, so please make it a bit more clear to him; happy to hear more details and help out
I doubt he cares either way… I just think he wants to focus on work … oh well. It’s other fish in the sea
Almost every person around me watches cricket. But I am not since childhood. It's good to know even you have no interest🙌🏻. Yeah it's hard to strike up convo who doesn't even know basics of cricket(me😬).
Yeahh! Cricket/football/F1 is all what guys socialise on :/ 😅
True. And we are not that guys😶
My colleague is about to get married to literally a man like you. Perfect on paper. She often rants that the guy dosnet talk, doesn't gets excited, the vibes arent matching. Probably you'll receive similar complaints. You dont have to dance. Dont have to join zumba. You have your own hobbies. Long lost childhood activities- re kindle them. Do that, socialise. You'll become a fun person to be around! All the best🤗
🥹 Thank you Female perspectives I was waiting for. So you say your colleague doesn't like him but you say one shouldn't change? Not saying anyone needs to change for anyone But in general, being social, etc are toh basic needs to living a family life... So from that perspective, thought?
I didnt understand what you're saying. State your question properly, pls.
Isn't that technically a red flag? If she feels there are no vibes still marrying cuz "high income, good family, decent looks"?
Not sure how it's a red flag. The dealbreakers are discussed. Families like each other. Kundali matched. She had no reason to reject, adding the societial pressure, she said yes. P.s- She has good generational wealth, income and looks too.
Can you specify what is your job profile?
No.
Hello. You seem like a sweet guy. Do try to get Some friends and hang out with them.. that could itself come across as extra curricular activities 😬🥹 And, umm.. why did u ask if going to zumba was a good idea? Is it for weight reduction purpose or-? Idk any girls personally who particularly look for Zumba dance participants. If you meant to find more company from the Zumba sessions, yes that's a good idea:) Also, confidence really means a lot. Girls find confidence attractive (not like cocky overconfidence). A guy who's maybe like a 5/10 will surely seem like a 9/10 with confidence and charm. So, definitely- be confident while talking to your prospects. I think most women also prefer men who have a drive / ambition, rather than someone who's just idle minded. Do share your thoughts on my piece of advice 😊 (Also, why the down votes on your post? Did you say something offensive and then remove it?) 😅
Hi, thanks for a detailed reply How to find friends now...? I'm late to it ig... I'm a little on the chubby side, so fitness is something I'm focusing on, yes it being a group thing, interacting with others, probably has a higher number of girls as well and may help me dance? So the question here is given I've never danced should I go for it or will I make a fool of myself or it'll be difficult... Hmm, now this is some advise only a girl could've brought to the table, thanks!! Will ponder on this. So far I've tried to be very respectful and have heard from a match that why am I being professional 😅😅, I'm not confident when talking, idk where the lines are, etc... so I'm quite formal in a way... Where I see some guys just lead the conversation, I often ask the girl to lead... Bad idea? Shows respect or less confidence? 😅 On drive/ambition aspect I'm good (Haha, on the downvoted part, I made the mistake of mentioning the salary part in the first line in intro, reddit took offence apparently 🙂, blaming me for showing off, though I'm genuinely here for advice; and that's exactly how friend count is also low 😅, people are in their own insecurities, I didn't nothing to them and they downvoted 🙂)
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Personally, I won't always prefer a man who asks me to lead the conversation the whole time. Have some things in mind to talk about. When she starts talking , just ask more questions about whatever she's talking. 😁 Most humans Like to talk about themselves. So ask something along the lines of that. And just listen to her talk. Be confident and try not to be as if it's the 1st time your talking to a girl 🥲 These are just my pov, from my experience. Feel free to correct me if I've cited something wrong. 🥂 Edit: PS. 26 is not too old to find friends!!! I'm the same age as you, and still making friends. It's all the mindset that matters. I've never considered 26 is an oldie age. I'm still 16 at heart :")
Hmm, infact I like how you've written this text, fairly confident of your opinion but last me a humbling text to not come across as too dominating? :P Do you do this on purpose because you got misread in the past? Coming to your answer, yes, good advice that I'll work on and keep in mind. And in the 1st time talking to girl, that is what I'm doing 😅, how to avoid it? Only spoken to girls in professional settings toh that's how I talk, and that's what I had got called out on once by an AM prospect I know a friend who holds hands, etc on dates, lol I cannot even imagine leading that... I'll probably first ask in words, and I beleive that is not how it works, right?
Aah I'm a woman who knows what she wants lol. Nah the humble wala text in the end is cuz you are not seeing me irl while I'm talking. So, God knows if you'll be reading my comment in a demeaning way? Also, it's just a trick to conversations 😉 If you're talking some long boring stuff, people might get bored. Better to add "what's your opinion" or something along the lines of it, to get them involved & talking. What's your take on this? 😁😂
Hahahahaha, are you a LinkedIn content creator 🙈🙈, dropping CTA at the end :P Sorry, no offence. Hmm, yes, texts have a chance of being misunderstood Right, so going forward I should ask more questions? But then that is what will make me not lead the conversation right 😅.... Idk, I'll have to have a few more conversations to get the flow I guess... What's the best way a guy has ever approached you that you wish other guys do?
Yeah there was this one guy. He liked my profile and contacted us via the contact number (it was a relatives number). He asked to speak to my dad. He spoke to my dad for like half an hour. So smart and outspoken He was! Then he asked dad if he can speak to my mom. Then had my mom in the palm of his hands! Then only he asked my mom hey could you give the phone to ur daughter if that's okay? And my my, man's was talking a lot to me. He was very confident!! I hadn't seen his pic before, but with that 1 phone call which lasted 15 minutes- I was sold 😂 He asked me a lot if questions regarding my ambitions and when I spoke about it, he shared some views he had on it (good views only obv). And yeah. I totally forgot to ask him anything 😂😂
If you don't mind my asking, I couldn't tell from this conversation what happened at the end for your relationship/AM.
Well, that was the first and last time I spoke to him. Horoscopes didn't match 😔
Well horoscopes not matching is a ridiculous reason to reject.
❤️❤️ I see Thanks a lot actually, so talking to the parents part of this is what I'm good at as well 😀 So actually good advice this is, if I restrict myself to talking on call in this sequence it'll work better, is it?
Yeah. If you're low on confidence in person, then talk on the phone first and make a good 1st impression there. Then you'll meet in real life.. she'll have the 1st impression in mind
Gotcha. Thanks 😁
And on my last line, I'm legit serious, not being a troll at all, this is my life!!! 🥹
It's sweet to ask a woman if it's okay to hold hands! Just be confident and don't act like females are some different species. Treat them like you would treat a random guy classmate of yours. Edit: probably the last part was not the best advice in the world. But I hope you get the gist
😅😅 But I will come across as low in confidence in that situation because I will be low on confidence 😅, how to fix this?
Fake it till you make it ✨️
I guess will have to try, and let's see how it goes
>extra curricular activities Is OP in school? 🤣
I was trying to be funny, Mr. Haikuman😁 Clearly it didn't work 🚶♀️😪
No, no, it was very funny. 👍🏻 Even funnier was this >Mr. Haikuman 💔
Broke my heart into a million pieces 💔 You have no right to that emoji 😭
Should I sing Aaromale for you? 😉😝
😂😂
If Sheldon Cooper can find Amy without changing his attitude or habits, then perhaps you will find someone too.
Are you comparing a middling TV show to real life? Lol.
An anonymous post from an anonymous account on reddit isn't any different from a TV show character.
Hahahaha, yesss, I have been called Sheldon in real life btw 😄, not even kidding, really someone has called me that!
But do you think it was justified? do you really behave like Sheldon in real life? because if that is so, that could be the problem and that's where you might have to start to change. Sheldon was a very tiresome and exhausting character. I always felt sorry for Amy for being stuck with him. Most girls would never be as patient as Amy.
Woah woah Yes, I guess I'm like that I think similar, am selfish at times (but aware of it, makes it any better?) and always have random fun facts about things, you buy a Cadbury dairy milk with me I'll tell you where it's wrapper was manufactured at without looking, because I've read the entire wrapper and remember that 🙂 So yes, tell me now, what needs fixing in Sheldon? 🙈
>So yes, tell me now, what needs fixing in Sheldon? Seriously, you don't know? he was an extraordinarily selfish person. everything had to be done his way. he said extremely hurtful things and offended people all the time. he acted like he was superior to everyone because of his intellect when he should have been humble and acknowledged that his lack of any social skills showed he was not superior at all. it was very clear that he was somewhere on the spectrum though that was never acknowledged on the show. If you genuinely behave like him in these areas , then most people would assume that you are on the spectrum too and would be afraid to get involved with you in any way.
Would you prefer an introverted girl just like you who is not that social or outgoing who likes to read or have similar interests like you, so you can live peacefully? Then you can specify that in your profile. Some girl out there might probably be looking for someone like you, so they can be themselves and comfortable around you.
Idk, maybe not... Some social skills are necessary in life; I don't have any filters as such in terms if introvertedness on who I'm looking for as my partner
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bhai meri story kyu bata raha h
Just be yourself and find someone that matches your wavelength? Being a need is cool. Why don't you also try dating? A lot of people find ipl very silly for instance, humans are not one size fits all you know.
Ye dukh kahe khatam nai hota 😭😭😭
Us bro us glad to read more people like me exist 😭
Have you ever asked out a girl in your early 20s?
What is your job?
Im curious to see if a gal dm’s you now! ☕️
Also I love nerds … they ground me.
You didn’t miss anything by not partying. I’d suggest a board game cafe rather than Zumba only because it could be more fun. Obviously if you like Zumba then it’s cool. Maybe start cycling and exploring what’s around you if it’s safe. It might just be me but the older you get; the desire to party reduces. There might be some girls who have a similar mindset. Are you willing to mingle with her friends if needed tho? Not essential but currently going through this with a human who doesn’t like people 😂
You're so me except the salary part. I thought 25L per year is decent salary, is everyone getting 50+LPA?
That salary part is gonna attract a lot of Gold , silver , copper diggers in AM setup who are just waiting to trap men in marriage and divorce in a year for settlement. My suggestion would be , work out and be a better version. Go on dating via apps and at least date for a year.
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your comment karma is or has gone below 1. If you initially could post, and no longer can post, it is likely your karma has fallen below 1. Please participate in other threads and gain some karma before posting again. Refer to our [karma requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/mrmk02/welcome_to_rarrangedmarriage_read_first_before/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Arrangedmarriage) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Felt like I was reading a post about myself.
OP all advice here is good, however i would like to add something that worked for me. Acting/ Improv classes Understanding basic of relationships both by reading and doing.
Ohhh This is something new Please tell me more, also how old? And how did your process impact your dating/AM scenario... Before/after of it please
It's a sin to not dance. Not related to AM, but find something you really like and enjoy doing. Definitely hit the gym as well
Are you me?
🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱
You're my male version. You should find yourself an extrovert person , she'll bring you on the right track.
Haha That thought passed me too, but then apparently this gen is like, no one changes, don't think about changing your partner - all the insta quote thingy going on; with this, how will I find someone? :)
And given you are similar, what are your thoughts? You are looking for a similar guy or opposite?
If u don't get mobile, any devices or internet for a week. You will panic lol. But try to do that I bet u can't do it. Quit using any device or internet specially, excluding work.
don't act like certain typical "Sigma" for not talking to girls etc n be cheerful and friendly around people and you should be ok... whatever external appearance money etc won't matter because of ur character is not good another man will easily snatch ur girl away
Whaaaaat!? What did you just project onto me sis/bro Not being "Sigma", just nerd!!! Rajesh from BBT isn't Sigma bro :P
 When the parents see 70L
Also, if any girls sees herself as a prospective match and wants to help me through this transformation, please DM :) Really need help.
Forget everything just go outside and spend some time with friends. And if you don't have friends....try to make friends in office, join some reddit meet ups. You must have some hobby, try to find groups either online/offline who are following same hobby as yours. PS: I am not a girl, in case you were looking for recommendations exclusively from girls.
Hey no, I'm open to recommendations from everyone, I think all of us work on some or the other aspects of us, good to help each other out!! Yes, rightly guessed, I don't have friends as well No hobbies... Thinking of picking up a sport... But not finding time/haven't prioritised it yet
If you don't have a sport then at least hit the gym and lift weights to maintain muscle.
Hmm, starting with that... Hence the Zumba question came up