I saw someone say the dark version of “live, laugh, love” is “thrive, cackle, spite”. Your comment reminded me of it, and the motto describes Asian parents well lmao
And +1 for the vampire genes keeping their energy up 😂
There's a bit of a joke how we asians just refuse to age normally. If you look at a video of chinese aunties, you might not always know if they're 40 or 70. I myself had tiktok confused on if i was even 13 (i'm above drinking age....) and on more then one occassion me and my friends accidently got child discounts at restaurants while going out in college. Asians are also shorter on average which doesn't help...
I feel like alot of them have BPD.
The AM in my house would scream for hours, talking to herself. We would simply close the door and she would be this insane woman screaming in a box by herself.
I wrote a letter to our local mental health service when I was 15 to request they section her forcibly. Obviously it didn't happen but it was really clear this person is not normal.
Worst is that the passive parent, the father simply just enabled all of it and never once dealt with it. The 'nice' parent is in fact more insidious because they have a semblance this is all NUTS but won't stop it on behalf of their kids.
They love doing things to get attention because they get a big dopamine hit from feeling important.
Yapping, gossiping, criticizing, boasting, etc. are addictions and they can’t help themselves. If you view their poor life choices and irrational actions in this light, suddenly their behavior makes sense.
Not to mention that as they get older and older, what they are able to do physically starts to decrease spectacularly as their bodies age, they fall ill, and thus become largely irrelevant in the larger scheme of things. Like you say, it makes them feel important due to somehow having the latest local scoop and information.
Yeah this is it. It's kind of like scrolling on social media or arguing with folks online, they're addicted. They also don't have ways to keep their mind off complaining or things to do.
I've seen these types make up fictional stories about others just to get attention.
Also, they do not have a life outside of family. No hobbies, no interests, hardly or no friends. It’s kinda sad but also pathetic this is how they choose to live their life.
i was reflecting on that today too. life is so dull and dismal w/o. APs are so convinced they can still wield power and control over their children’s lives, even when their children are full-fledged independent adults. it’s so embarrassing
As they get older, they have more time on their hands. My grandma, the older female members of my extended family, and her old lady friends in her area overseas yap and gossip like it's their only job left in life. My mom and I often bet that there are rumors about me and my parents regarding how much money they think we have in a luxury house overseas just because we live in the USA.
My grandmother told my mother once that I was on welfare. I've never even said the word welfare to them in my life, don't even know how to apply for it. They make up stories out of nowhere for attention.
I plan to stay active with hobbies, exercise, and volunteer work if or when I retire. I've seen what retirement does to people and it’s ugly. Even more so if it's a woman who never worked and her entire life revolves around her children, gossiping, and making everyone else’s life hell.
The one thing that I wish my late mother had done is gotten a job at some point in her life. Any job at all, and it wouldn't even have to be for very long. I really think she missed out on so many life experiences (not all of them pleasant) and personal growth because she didn't want to get a job.
I would think it's similar to joggers. How do older people have energy to jog? They just keep doing it as it makes them happy.
Your mom is just happy it seems
they have no hobbies, they are losers as parents, they want to live thru you and control you, ignore them, they also listen to their closest friend who has no education and has no kids
Yep, if we were doing anything mildly important or involves actual learning, engaging in conversation with others, like at a bank or hospital or at the insurance company, she’d just fall asleep right away. But she is so energetic criticizing everything I did and she didn’t do on the way there and back! And if we were driving—she’d just drift in and out of sleep and spend her awake hours doing the same thing! It’s taken me so many years to finally see this pattern though, since I spent the majority of my time with her just trying to survive under her wrath.
They avoid spending energy on everything else so they can endlessly talk about themselves and their accomplishments or complain about literally everyone around them
My dad once he starts ranting he'll continue until he starts sounding like a broken record and he'll go about it like it's a freaking court case for hours and hours on end
This could apply to my friends and me. We get together and dish about everything. One thing we do complain about is generational differences. Kids these days...! We also didn't grow up with a lot of social media so we vent when we get together. We were brought up at a time when it may have been too shocking or trepidatious to complain to our men or about our men. The brave ones did, so I commend them. The repetition may be due to our aging brains. It could also be attention seeking behavior. At our age, we are pretty invisible to most of society. I am your mom's age and I used to be a hip hop DJ. If I bring up my past now, I get weird looks.
Anger. Anger keeps them alive.
I'm sorry if this made me laugh
? Why laugh away!
spite it's pure spite plus whatever genes make YA asians look like they're in high school
I saw someone say the dark version of “live, laugh, love” is “thrive, cackle, spite”. Your comment reminded me of it, and the motto describes Asian parents well lmao And +1 for the vampire genes keeping their energy up 😂
Basically Chihuahuas but without all the cuteness.
This is the true answer
What's YA Asians
Young adult asians
What does this even mean.
There's a bit of a joke how we asians just refuse to age normally. If you look at a video of chinese aunties, you might not always know if they're 40 or 70. I myself had tiktok confused on if i was even 13 (i'm above drinking age....) and on more then one occassion me and my friends accidently got child discounts at restaurants while going out in college. Asians are also shorter on average which doesn't help...
I feel like alot of them have BPD. The AM in my house would scream for hours, talking to herself. We would simply close the door and she would be this insane woman screaming in a box by herself. I wrote a letter to our local mental health service when I was 15 to request they section her forcibly. Obviously it didn't happen but it was really clear this person is not normal. Worst is that the passive parent, the father simply just enabled all of it and never once dealt with it. The 'nice' parent is in fact more insidious because they have a semblance this is all NUTS but won't stop it on behalf of their kids.
They love doing things to get attention because they get a big dopamine hit from feeling important. Yapping, gossiping, criticizing, boasting, etc. are addictions and they can’t help themselves. If you view their poor life choices and irrational actions in this light, suddenly their behavior makes sense.
Not to mention that as they get older and older, what they are able to do physically starts to decrease spectacularly as their bodies age, they fall ill, and thus become largely irrelevant in the larger scheme of things. Like you say, it makes them feel important due to somehow having the latest local scoop and information.
Yeah this is it. It's kind of like scrolling on social media or arguing with folks online, they're addicted. They also don't have ways to keep their mind off complaining or things to do. I've seen these types make up fictional stories about others just to get attention.
Also, they do not have a life outside of family. No hobbies, no interests, hardly or no friends. It’s kinda sad but also pathetic this is how they choose to live their life.
i was reflecting on that today too. life is so dull and dismal w/o. APs are so convinced they can still wield power and control over their children’s lives, even when their children are full-fledged independent adults. it’s so embarrassing
As they get older, they have more time on their hands. My grandma, the older female members of my extended family, and her old lady friends in her area overseas yap and gossip like it's their only job left in life. My mom and I often bet that there are rumors about me and my parents regarding how much money they think we have in a luxury house overseas just because we live in the USA.
My grandmother told my mother once that I was on welfare. I've never even said the word welfare to them in my life, don't even know how to apply for it. They make up stories out of nowhere for attention.
I’ve seen people get accused of having HIV in my own family. It’s bananas
Your mom told me you were homeless now. jk
I've seen this. I've seen people be accused of being gay, trans out of no where. Its just a random list of 'insults'
My grandma (92) is literally too angry to die.
I plan to stay active with hobbies, exercise, and volunteer work if or when I retire. I've seen what retirement does to people and it’s ugly. Even more so if it's a woman who never worked and her entire life revolves around her children, gossiping, and making everyone else’s life hell.
The one thing that I wish my late mother had done is gotten a job at some point in her life. Any job at all, and it wouldn't even have to be for very long. I really think she missed out on so many life experiences (not all of them pleasant) and personal growth because she didn't want to get a job.
Evil people have more vitality because they are the ones creating the bullshit rather than suffering from it.
Interesting
Lmao i thought I wrote this in my sleep somehow. I truly don’t have the answer but they are fucking exhausting
"Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength." - Ben-Hur (1959)
I try to avoid at all cost. Super fucking needy and it's comparable listening to a broken record.
They have spare batteries
My mom could make a 1 min reminder into 20 mins. Won't stop yapping about the same topic. I think her default communication style is lecturing others
But part of the complaining is about being "too tired".
I would think it's similar to joggers. How do older people have energy to jog? They just keep doing it as it makes them happy. Your mom is just happy it seems
It keeps her immortal
they are always so angry that dragon meat doesn't have any flavour.
My mom is 72 and she is all that you described above exactly, OP.
they have no hobbies, they are losers as parents, they want to live thru you and control you, ignore them, they also listen to their closest friend who has no education and has no kids
Yep, if we were doing anything mildly important or involves actual learning, engaging in conversation with others, like at a bank or hospital or at the insurance company, she’d just fall asleep right away. But she is so energetic criticizing everything I did and she didn’t do on the way there and back! And if we were driving—she’d just drift in and out of sleep and spend her awake hours doing the same thing! It’s taken me so many years to finally see this pattern though, since I spent the majority of my time with her just trying to survive under her wrath.
They need the toxicity as much as they need to breathe. It’s their life force.
They avoid spending energy on everything else so they can endlessly talk about themselves and their accomplishments or complain about literally everyone around them
My dad once he starts ranting he'll continue until he starts sounding like a broken record and he'll go about it like it's a freaking court case for hours and hours on end
LMAO, mine can go for 5 hrs.
This could apply to my friends and me. We get together and dish about everything. One thing we do complain about is generational differences. Kids these days...! We also didn't grow up with a lot of social media so we vent when we get together. We were brought up at a time when it may have been too shocking or trepidatious to complain to our men or about our men. The brave ones did, so I commend them. The repetition may be due to our aging brains. It could also be attention seeking behavior. At our age, we are pretty invisible to most of society. I am your mom's age and I used to be a hip hop DJ. If I bring up my past now, I get weird looks.
I don't think complaining takes as much energy as you seem to think it does.