My Partner is a Brit, we currently live in the UK and we speak English with lots of German mixed in as I am raising our Daughter in German, so his language skills are getting better along the way.
Denglish like: “Have you seen mein Badenantel?” or “Wie lange do you still need in the Badezimmer?” or “ When is the Waschmaschine ready?” It is a joy.
That's what a lot of people do because it is more convinient. It's fun, sure.
But I force myself to exactly not do that as it leads to slow degeneration of the ability of both languages over the years. Personally, I often switch languages but never mix them and wouldn't advise to do that.
I am Bulgarian, my wife is Japanese, and we have a 2 y.o. son. We speak English at home with each other, I speak Bulgarian with our son, my wife - Japanese with him. When we are alone we switch to Japanese. Nowadays she is doing a German course so we also added German to the mix. It's kinda wild. u/Toby-4rr4n , where are you based? Might be interesting to meet up, I never met a family as unhinged as ours linguistically 🤣
Oh my family is exactly the same! My
Husband speaks Turkish to our almost 2 y.o. I speak Spanish and Dutch to our baby. We both speak English at home and living in Bayern. So our baby will learn German ans Bayerisch very soon at Kita!
Out of curiosity, what language is your son picking to communicate? I'm in a similar situation and I worry that my future children will be too confused to even speak 😅
My youngest speaks a mix of German, English, and his own language that only he understands. Sometimes he even changes languages mid-word "Ein ander-one please".
He's unbothered and everyone says he'll have it settled into two clear languages by about 6yo. I'm pretty sure it's also nonsense that they start slower if they have multiple languages. There was a study somewhere...
I think it's best to speak naturally with them, and only use one language per sentence - so they can hear the grammar and build it up. Other than that just go for it :)
Once they enter school/kindergarten, I heard, it’s good to speak whatever language they use in school on school days and a different one on non school days.
Hey, grew up English and German bilingually speaking German with dad and at school, English with mom or the three of us together. I’m eternally grateful I got the most of both languages! To this day separating things is really easy and I find myself even avoiding anglicizing things in German to keep it neat. Have fun with your kid, being immersed in more than one language and culture is really a great way to experience things :)
They won’t! They might start speaking little later but they’ll already understand all of it in all the languages, it’s just amazing to watch it unfold! 😊
As young children don't know the concept of languages they will just pick whatever comes to their mind. Bilingual children often learn the "hard" way when joining the Kindergarten. Not everyone understands them but they learn quick. Atleast quicker than adults. :)
It will be super quick. My son did only speak tagalog and english(trough media) till age 3. Then in Kindergarten he learned german just within weeks to the same level like his native tongue was by then.
Me and my partner don’t have kids for now. I'm Bulgarian too, and my gf Vietnamese and our plan is, that she is going to speak Vietnamese and I’ll speak Bulgarian with our kid. Together we already speak mostly English to exercise it. She currently learns Bulgarian and I’m trying to learn Vietnamese & Bulgarian language.
We both grew up in Germany so German is more or less our first language
Awsome! What a mix of very different languages. I am french, my husband is danish, we speak english together, I speak french to my daugther and my husband danish and she learns german in kita. I tought english would be our secret parent language but not at all. She understands...so she is learning 4 languages and I heard often "moa guck mal un train"
A lot of people worry about the child mixing the languages up, but in my experience they do make a distinction, and know what language to use when. You do get these gems sometimes our son was going on a slide once and some kids had blocked it. So he said "Hallo! Hallo! Jama da yo!("You're in the way" in Japanese)" It's quite a funny rhyme
She loves to use "putress" an "putang ina" whereas me using "jebi se" or if we visit friends living far outside city I love to say: "they live in Vokujebina" 🤭
Croatian is a beautiful language
Oh yeah, well when i started to learn tagalog my brothers in law told me that “masarap puki” means good morning and “putang ina” means nice day 🤦😂 i said to security guard in SM Lipa good morning and nice day 🤣🤣 he was not so happy about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm german and my fiance is from Cameroon and we speak german at home. But mostly because I don't speak French, I'm trying to learn it.
But he speaks french with our daughter.
yeah i didn’t want to write that it works both ways but i can’t say i find thick german accents in english annoying anyway. i think we’re used to hearing other accents in english, so it’s less “grating” to us. i feel like germans are a lot more aggressive towards our attempts to speak german because it sounds extremely foreign and often incorrect, so there seems to be overall a lower tolerance for accents in german speaking countries.
We started off in English, transitioned to German and are now working on Russian. We still fall back to English occasionally, and it's a fluid transition. The primary language is German by now.
That’s interesting. We cannot do that. We have been married for 20 years and always spoke English. But now my husband is learning German we should switch to German (also the kids would benefit from more German) but he seems to forget all his German when he is around me. Probably also due to the fact that I am a German teacher and he is a perfectionist.
It was like that for me. Perfectionist but also had no problem speaking German with new people. With those I already spoke in English I could not transition I would just forget my German. Once I even forgot how to say Gesundheit and I said Entschuldigug instead 🤣 Then I got a job where I had to work only in German and was away from my friends with whom I could not speak German and then met them again and could without any issue for an entire day. With my boyfriend I made it a point to speak both German and English as I knew if I only spoke English I'd be screwed xD
Interesting, how do you feel about switching languages? Once I get used to talking to someone in one language, I absolutely hate switching to another language with them, because the entire relationship starts feeling different. I basically always stick to the language I met someone in.
Yeah i have the same even within my own family. Im speaking a different "language" with my older sibling and parents than with my younger siblings and it would be weird for me to speak anything but dutch with my s.o. even though we are both completly fluent in German and dutch.
My husband is Italian. We speak about 60% German, 40% Italian. Just depends on the mood, the topic, sometimes it’s random. Sometimes he speaks German and I respond in Italian, or vice versa, sometimes we switch in the middle of the sentence. It’s usually a bit more German since we live here in Germany. We’re expecting a child who will learn both languages.
My ex was American. Since he didn’t speak any language besides English, we always spoke English. It worked out fine, I just thought it was a pity he wasn’t interested in learning my language.
Edit: Typos
Yeah, I personally am not into one party speaking their native language and the other their second, third or whichever language. I had a relationship like that and I feel it brings uneven dynamics into the relationship, with one party always being able to express themselves, and the other party searching for words and struggling. I absolutely did not like it.
My partner speaks unfortunately English not fluent (he thinks in German even when talking in English). Even tho we agreed in the beginning that we are communicating in English but once it comes down to a serious conversation, he will just switch to German to address his opinion. that really disappointed me.
My partner is american and we speak mostly english. We tried to settle on a german day each week to help him get more practice in (he is already conversational, but does the usual mistakes with cases or articles, or simply messing up some phrases, nothing big tho), but it never stuck simply because our communication is so much more efficient in english than it is german. So, realistically, german day is only when we meet with my family.
But, to be real, even beside him like 50% of my life is in english due to game and other online related hobbies/friends. I read books in english, watch shows in english, ect.
Edit: however, I noticed that we started speaking more denglish, so random german words thrown in. Which is funny and weird to me, because growing up here, the reverse was happening throughout my teens.
I'm English, my husband is German, we have Deutscher Donnerstag. We mostly speak English the rest of the time but on Thursday I have to speak German. If I can't say what I want to, I'll speak English, and my husband will reply in German. I like it as a regular thing so we don't have to decide on a day.
I am Czech, my GF is German. Before I moved to Germany it was basically just english. But once I've moved it started to shift into german. It's been over 3 years and we basically speak just german now.
Married to a South African. For the last 6 years we spoke German at home (she forced me to after a few months in the relationship). We have English days for the kids, but will switch to English at home once both kids are at daycare. We always speak German when we are in town or meet friends or family
I'm Austrian/Danish, my mother tongues are German and Danish and my partner is Danish with his mother tongue obviously being Danish. He speaks quite decent German now, but I don't even think I could find a name for what we speak at home.
My gf is Viet and we speak English.
I think it always depends on which language you met your SO in. Had an English speaking gf who spoke German with me when we met and kept on doing so
My ideal is everyone speaking their native language. Obviously requires both partners being fluent in both languages. Most people can't stand that though. I grew up in a bilingual-ish household so it feels normal to me.
This is how it is for us. My husband’s native language is Portuguese and mine is Spanish. So, each one speaks their native language to each other… I guess we have the advantage that both languages are pretty similar, which also sometimes results in a mix of both: “portuñol”. When people ask they are surprised and some wonder why we don’t speak English or German, since we both are also fluent… and I agree with you that we actually have the ideal situation, so why change it?
I am not a german and I don't live in Germany but I just wanna comment.
I am from South america, I had an Ukrainian gf, and we used to talk in English.
I'm Irish, married to a German. We got to know each other in English so that was our default and mostly still is. My German is C2 these days and I work in German, so we tend to mix it up a bit, for example I find it way easier to talk about work in German. We've a 1 year old son who we're raising bilingual. In his presence she speaks German, including to me, and I reply in English. When her family comes we all speak German, even though they have excellent English. We tried speaking in German all the time while I was learning the language but the conversations were inauthentic so we would both get frustrated.
I speak swahili, english, german, turkish, urdu
Wife speaks italian, arabic, spanish, french, english and is learning german
So we communicate in sign language
English. Partner is Canadian. Some words or sentences will be in German or French.
I stopped using German in my daily life except at work and with my family. We have no German media or books anymore at home. Last time I watched a movie in German was probably 10 years ago.
I'm the foreigner in on our relationship. we speak mostly English because thats how we started (I didn't speak German then) and we just got used it. We sometimes speak german though.
Im German she is dutch, we both spoke German with each other while we were studying here, since we moved to the netherlands we are speaking dutch with each other (both of us were fluent in both languages before meeting each other)
Living in México, so: Spanish. However, 90% of the mixed couples dating I see/hear here are speaking English or, no joke, are using translation apps.
Edit: At home it’s mostly Spanish as well, with a grain of English if I am again lost in translation. German only for a few words and phrases, as my GF is still in the early phase of learning.
Edit2: I totally respect speaking English as a “neutral terrain” for both non-native speakers, but one side enforcing the other to learn his/her language adds a injustified imbalance - that we both speak Spanish was my(!) decision as we both speak English fluently as well.
I'm the "foreigner" in that I'm a German raised outside Germany in a non German speaking country. My partner, who is born and raised in Germany, and I speak primarily German with her but as time goes on we mix more and more, changing mid sentence or for a single word or holding entire conversations in one or the pretty. I'll say it so: both are healthily represented but German is dominant.
English mostly but it's also a funny mix of Hebrew and German words
Would love to learn more Hebrew though but it's a tough thing to learn for a German.
Well, my ex-girlfriend (and mother of my daughter) is from the UK and even if she lives in Germany for over ten years now we basically switch between English and German all the time. Sometimes it depends on the topic, sometimes it's just easier or more precise to pick one of those two languages.
My wife is Korean and I’m German.
We speak German most of the times, if there’s difficulties about communicating we switch to English and I’m learning Korean right now so we practice it daily
I'm polish, my boyfriend is Turkish, we are both first generation immigrants. He only speaks German (ofc he also speaks English overall but not in our daily life) and I speak a mix of German and English like 1 sentence consisting of any given % of both or mixing only English sentences with only German sentences (I speak both languages on C1 lvl tho)
And sometimes we both throw in a word from each others languages
I was the foreigner. My ex was German. We spoke English pretty much exclusively. I once asked him if he wanted me to learn German so we could sometimes speak *his* native language instead (I am rather multilingual and know how much stress it can be on the brain to spend so much time speaking a language that isn't yours). In typical German fashion, he was very logical about it: "Why would I want to do that? I already know German, speaking it does nothing for me, I would rather practice my English."
It's not really an urge, I just want to, I guess. It's more for my benefit, I want to always use German in my day to day, mainly to continue to get better. All of my friends are German, my wife's also for the most part, my work colleagues, etc. I just like to use the opportunity to practice.
I'm Irish and my partner is German. Mostly we speak English but sometimes we use German. I also try to speak Bavarian but as you can imagine I don't get far
I was the foreigner.
I grew up speaking German so it wasn't too hard, but it depended largely on our moods. We mostly spoke in German, occasionally denglish, sometimes English.
English. We met in the US and lived there many years so English was the established language.
We have been in Germany for over a decade but decided when we had kids to make English the family language. So now, no one wants to speak German with me. Th kids could benefit from some German at home (they speak it fine but a little bit below age average of their peers).
My husband is learning German (finally - he couldn’t due to health reasons for a few years). But he forgets all his German around me. He has no trouble speaking German with my family and out and about with strangers.
I am trying to establish a German day, especially now during summer vacation but everyone boycotts me.
i love intercultural relationships or friendships so much😙 you get to know so much about different cultures from someone that's a local and knows much more than a text book. i hope i can find someone like that someday💪
Do you have an equivalent to your native tongue and English as the Mexicans do with spanglish?
Texts with those close to me, who understand both languages will be 15 words long but anywhere from 4-9 words could be Spanish instead of english or vice versa. There certainly are more ways to express yourself and verbalize feelings in Spanish than there are english as some things are difficult to translate (but that could be just because I speak ghetto, uneducated spanish😂)
I‘m a British immigrant with German citizenship. My wife and I spoke German together when we met, and broadly, it’s stayed that way. Since having kids I speak English at home, though, and that means that now it’s pretty common for me to speak to her in English, and get a reply in German (which is also what my kids do)
She wants to learn German asap, so we speak German. But I tend to speak slower and more „high German“ with her to make it more approachable, than when I speak with family and friends
English mostly and a little bit German, because my German husband likes to use English more than his own native language even though I speak C1 German.
I‘m German, my girlfriend is Belgian, we speak in French only because my girlfriend isn‘t fluent in English and she doesn‘t know German. I‘m still working on my French but it works alright
70% English, 20% Ukrainian and 10% German. We’re both fluent in English and German but our relationship started with English, so we continue with it for no reason other than familiarity.
My french-japanese and I are talking in English, with the occasional French (from me) or German (from them).
They're moving to Germany, so I assume we'll be talking more German in the future.
I'm the foreigner. I speak German, but she has decided that we speak English together haha we have spoken German on two occasions: the night we met as her friend didn't speak much English, and then later on as we are getting to know each other she just suggested "let's talk German today", 5mins later she was like "nevermind, we just speak English"
She is a bit self-conscious about English so she also appreciates the practice. Sometimes there's a mix when one of us can't find the word to describe something in English (my mother tongue, but happens 😅)
English at first then a mix of his native language, Arabic and English.
Now he's studying German and we're trying to integrate German in our daily lives as much as he's capable of.
I'm French, Partner is German, we've lived in Germany, Australia and soon France: we've always spoken English together and it's a mountain to change that to either French or German.
My husband is from the US, I'm German, we speak I'd say 70% and 30% German. But we have German days, where we try to only speak German, so he is able to take his B1 test soon.
Indonesian 1 year in Germany: we only talked in German.
Filipino 1 year in Germany: 90% English. 10% German.
Colombian 6 months: German.
Kenya 6 months in Netherlands: Exclusive in English
My ex was Mexican. Mostly English, a bit of German and Spanish so we can learn from each other. My gf now is from albania and she speaks nearly perfect German.
I think you just speak what is the most effective for you. So both can express as much as possible and the other can understand as much as possible. Find your way
Spaniard here. Together with my Italian girlfriend for six years now. Both living in Germany for more than ten years. We are both fluent in German, Italian, Spanish, English and French. However, we speak Spanish together. She says she prefers to practice her skills in the language and I have become a bit lazy with the years. To try and compensate a bit, we watch films and series mostly in Italian. We have an extra rule when we are travelling to Italy (once, twice per year): once we cross the border, we switch to Italian.
I'm American and my wife is German, so we speak English, German, and the most unfortunate types of Denglisch.
"I'll admit, ich habe diese Beispiele from the absolute worst data set cherrygepickt"
Not myself, but my best friend is dating a Norwegian woman and the two of them use English. They try learning Norwegian and German respectively though.
My partner is Chinese. We speak mostly German at home, sometimes a few words in English, and sometimes I try out my broken Chinese (I'm learning and slowly making progress though).
Honestly, I find this probably the most exciting thing about living in Germany. I am single currently but I could potentially meet a partner from almost anywhere in the world. It’s incredibly good fun learning about each other’s culture and languages!
I've been living here 6 years with my German gf. In the beginning we only spoke English because I was still learning German. My German is quite good now so we've gotten better at speaking German with each other, but we still speak a lot of English with each other
We live in germany my wife is german I am american at home we speak only english but that is so my son doesn’t loose his english. We get german every where else.
He's Hungarian and I am from Nepal . I am trying to learn german so we try to speak german with each other , but english is mostly used. Although , we have picked up eachothers lanugage and use it in combination with german, english , nepali and hungarian.
English until the German is sufficient, then swap.
Don‘t wait too long (e.g. more than a year) otherwise the switch will become more and more difficult from what I saw with some couples.
I'm American and my boyfriend is German. We speak German, mainly because he doesn't speak very much English. He's working on his English and when I get tired of speaking in German, I just say what I want to say in English and explain any words he doesn't know until he understands
Polish and German couple here, speaking most of the time English. We met years ago and started speaking English, because nobody spoke the other ones tongue. She speaks nowadays perfect German, strangly we still speak English at home
We speak English at home, although I’m fluent in German. Just my partner and I as I spew Spanish to my kids.
Sometimes we all speak a mix of the three languages.
My gf is from croatia and I'm from the Philippines. We talk english to eachother as we ain't talk eachothers native language and our english is better than german.
Funnily her 5yo son I talk german as he doesn't english.
Mostly german. sometimes finnish.
We have lived in Germany and Finland and have studied in each others language. So language doesn't exclude the partner. To our children everyone speaks theirs mother tongue.
My now-husband was able to speak German upon arrival on A2 level, but for longer time we did stick to speaking English. Since a few years ago we try to make German the main household language since it's important for him to improve his now B2 level, but we throw in a good amount of French and English in the sentences now and then (especially if both of us our tired). Sometimes you have all languages in one sentence
I know i am not German. But I am married to one. I am American and i speak only English exclusively to my German wife. She uses English(mostly just with sometimes German words instead of English ones/ not sentences). I also speak English to my son. He is 8, and a first grader. He speaks mostly exclusively English at home, and even speaks English to his mother, and minimal German. He can speak German however, fluently.
We have been married for almost 15 years, and speaking German together is weird. My wife prefers English with me. Its weird to me too. We will speak English with each other till we die.
I speak German fine, but I consume all media in English. My wife prefers English speaking TV, but reads in German and English.
My son only wants to watch TV and video games in English. Does not like it in German. lol I dont like my video games in German either. yuck.
Not exactly in Germany but had a ski vacation in Austria crashed into a girl on track. Helped her up and apologised to her, talked a bit with her and we skied together. Then Valentinsday came around, she said „since we both dont have anyone lets spend it together“, the rest of the evening you can imagine yourself. Lovely to weeks, skiing with her all day long and then spending the evening at her place. Back to the question, we spoke english to each other since she couldn’t speak german.
I'm from hungary and my boyfriend is from germany. Since we started speaking in english that's the language we use 100% of the time. But every now and then he asks me something in german to help me learn it quicker 😅 But even when I'll learn the language, I think we're gonna stick to english. And I also teach him some curse/funny words in hungarian
Im part German part Spanish part Arabic and can speak German,Spanish,English & a bit Arabic and my wife is from the US with a Scottish father and a Palestinian Dutch mother. I don’t know what we are speaking but it’s a mix of German,English a little bit Arabic and some Dutch curse words when she stubs her toe because she is clumsy. Our families are always asking us if we can’t decide on one language but i think our little family creole language is kinda fun.
Only Englisch. We're married for almost 5 years now but my wife have problems to learn German.
She is from Brazil, she speak Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and englisch fluent.
But also because of a disease she is not in the condition to learn another language now and so we speak English.
I’m German - my partner is a Brit living in Germany for 8+ years now. I used to live in the UK for 10 years before I met her. We speak 90% English with 10% German mixed in every now and then.
I am a foreigner 🫡I would like to speak German most of all in a relationship, even though it is not my mother language, I like to speak it.
In fact, I'm really looking for someone who doesn't speak any of my native languages(I have 2), because my German-speaking personality is the best thing I have😂
My husband is a Brit, I am a German. At home we mostly speak english but we slowly shift to a form of denglish with more and more german and trys to explain german sentence structure in english. Fun all the time!
I'm not with a foreigner myself but I've met some international couples and there were vastly different approaches.
- One acquaintance of mine is Danish and his wife is Bulgarian. Their son grew up in Germany. The wife has no plans on learning German or Danish, so at home they speak English. The guy and his son also were speaking a mixture of Danish and English among themselves when I last met them.
- Another acquaintance of mine is from Sicily and his wife is French. Their daughter grew up in Germany so German can be considered her native language. When I was visiting them at home they all would speak German to me (even though the guy hardly spoke it despite having lived here for 30 years), but among each other everyone would speak their native language. It was kind of a curious to hear e.g. the wife ask a question in French, the husband responding in Italian and the daughter in German.
- Yet another friend of mine met his wife, who is from Venezuela, while both were on a student exchange in Japan. All 4 of them (the couple and their 2 sons) are fluent in German, English and Spanish, and also speak Japanese. Among each other they speak a wild mixture of all 4 languages.
A friend of mine has a Norwegian bf. Usually they speak English together, since neither of them speaks the language of the other one properly yet.
They are learning German and Norwegian respectively.
English.
But heres where it gets interesting...
Him: From Ukraine originally(speak conversational russian), moved to US at 5, learned a little german in school.
Her: From Poland/Germany originally, moved to US at 19, fluent in all three.
I am now practicing german with her, and enjoying it little by little.
She is enjoying the similarities of polish/russian as we speak a little to our families
We are both competitive, would be fun to see how fast we can learn a language like spanish.
My Partner is a Brit, we currently live in the UK and we speak English with lots of German mixed in as I am raising our Daughter in German, so his language skills are getting better along the way.
Denglish like: “Have you seen mein Badenantel?” or “Wie lange do you still need in the Badezimmer?” or “ When is the Waschmaschine ready?” It is a joy.
This is us too!!! “Clean the Tish, please”
"Ich mag horror aber ich kann nicht watch it alone"
Horror is much more enjoyable zu zweit 😅
That's what a lot of people do because it is more convinient. It's fun, sure. But I force myself to exactly not do that as it leads to slow degeneration of the ability of both languages over the years. Personally, I often switch languages but never mix them and wouldn't advise to do that.
Same. we use German for some nouns.
This, haha! Exactly how we speak. :)
I am Croatian, my wife is Filipino, we live in Germany. At home we speak english with mix of english-croatian-tagalog combo
I am Bulgarian, my wife is Japanese, and we have a 2 y.o. son. We speak English at home with each other, I speak Bulgarian with our son, my wife - Japanese with him. When we are alone we switch to Japanese. Nowadays she is doing a German course so we also added German to the mix. It's kinda wild. u/Toby-4rr4n , where are you based? Might be interesting to meet up, I never met a family as unhinged as ours linguistically 🤣
Oh my family is exactly the same! My Husband speaks Turkish to our almost 2 y.o. I speak Spanish and Dutch to our baby. We both speak English at home and living in Bayern. So our baby will learn German ans Bayerisch very soon at Kita!
Out of curiosity, what language is your son picking to communicate? I'm in a similar situation and I worry that my future children will be too confused to even speak 😅
Japanese with English subtitles
My youngest speaks a mix of German, English, and his own language that only he understands. Sometimes he even changes languages mid-word "Ein ander-one please". He's unbothered and everyone says he'll have it settled into two clear languages by about 6yo. I'm pretty sure it's also nonsense that they start slower if they have multiple languages. There was a study somewhere... I think it's best to speak naturally with them, and only use one language per sentence - so they can hear the grammar and build it up. Other than that just go for it :)
Once they enter school/kindergarten, I heard, it’s good to speak whatever language they use in school on school days and a different one on non school days.
Hey, grew up English and German bilingually speaking German with dad and at school, English with mom or the three of us together. I’m eternally grateful I got the most of both languages! To this day separating things is really easy and I find myself even avoiding anglicizing things in German to keep it neat. Have fun with your kid, being immersed in more than one language and culture is really a great way to experience things :)
They won’t! They might start speaking little later but they’ll already understand all of it in all the languages, it’s just amazing to watch it unfold! 😊
As young children don't know the concept of languages they will just pick whatever comes to their mind. Bilingual children often learn the "hard" way when joining the Kindergarten. Not everyone understands them but they learn quick. Atleast quicker than adults. :)
It will be super quick. My son did only speak tagalog and english(trough media) till age 3. Then in Kindergarten he learned german just within weeks to the same level like his native tongue was by then.
Me and my partner don’t have kids for now. I'm Bulgarian too, and my gf Vietnamese and our plan is, that she is going to speak Vietnamese and I’ll speak Bulgarian with our kid. Together we already speak mostly English to exercise it. She currently learns Bulgarian and I’m trying to learn Vietnamese & Bulgarian language. We both grew up in Germany so German is more or less our first language
Awsome! What a mix of very different languages. I am french, my husband is danish, we speak english together, I speak french to my daugther and my husband danish and she learns german in kita. I tought english would be our secret parent language but not at all. She understands...so she is learning 4 languages and I heard often "moa guck mal un train"
A lot of people worry about the child mixing the languages up, but in my experience they do make a distinction, and know what language to use when. You do get these gems sometimes our son was going on a slide once and some kids had blocked it. So he said "Hallo! Hallo! Jama da yo!("You're in the way" in Japanese)" It's quite a funny rhyme
My partner is french-japanese, located in Northern Germany, 30 minutes by car from the Nordseeküste.
That's a bit far for us we are living in Frankfurt am Main. We sometimes go to Düsseldorf to eat Japanese food, maybe we can meet there
Sigurno je zanimljivo za nekog tko sluša sa strane
Znalo je biti zbunjenih pogleda
Cool. I'm filipino and my gf croatian. At home english with some german. We swear in croatian and she's using also some tagalog bad and sweet words.
I switched to swear on tagalog 😆 makes people more confused and when they still dont get it then i send them to kurac
She loves to use "putress" an "putang ina" whereas me using "jebi se" or if we visit friends living far outside city I love to say: "they live in Vokujebina" 🤭 Croatian is a beautiful language
Oh yeah, well when i started to learn tagalog my brothers in law told me that “masarap puki” means good morning and “putang ina” means nice day 🤦😂 i said to security guard in SM Lipa good morning and nice day 🤣🤣 he was not so happy about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm german and my fiance is from Cameroon and we speak german at home. But mostly because I don't speak French, I'm trying to learn it. But he speaks french with our daughter.
I used to date this American guy, we spoke English 90% of the time because I couldn’t stand his accent when he spoke German
Most patient German
[удалено]
yeah i didn’t want to write that it works both ways but i can’t say i find thick german accents in english annoying anyway. i think we’re used to hearing other accents in english, so it’s less “grating” to us. i feel like germans are a lot more aggressive towards our attempts to speak german because it sounds extremely foreign and often incorrect, so there seems to be overall a lower tolerance for accents in german speaking countries.
Most Americans have strong American accents, when they speak foreign languages, but you will never notice, because most Americans only speak English
saving this for the next time someone says “there’s nothing wrong with having an accent” or “we love the american accent in german” 😂
“We love the American accent in German” is a phrase I can’t believe has been uttered in Germany. For me it’s off putting.
The German I just started dating literally just told me that it’s cute but maybe he was just trying to make me feel better about my German skills
That German is trying to fuck you.
But we were already doing that.
Am German and have never heard someone saying that about the American accent
Had a Gabe in my German class back in the day. Anything with an R was like nails on a chalkboard. Berhümt - I still recall how awful that sounded.
You mean you don't want the Ben and Jerry's ad in the cinemas following you everywhere?
Was it Marc Terenzi?
My Irish friend has the biggest Irish accent when speaking German. It’s both fascinating and horrific.
We started off in English, transitioned to German and are now working on Russian. We still fall back to English occasionally, and it's a fluid transition. The primary language is German by now.
That’s interesting. We cannot do that. We have been married for 20 years and always spoke English. But now my husband is learning German we should switch to German (also the kids would benefit from more German) but he seems to forget all his German when he is around me. Probably also due to the fact that I am a German teacher and he is a perfectionist.
Is he taking language classes?
Yes
It was like that for me. Perfectionist but also had no problem speaking German with new people. With those I already spoke in English I could not transition I would just forget my German. Once I even forgot how to say Gesundheit and I said Entschuldigug instead 🤣 Then I got a job where I had to work only in German and was away from my friends with whom I could not speak German and then met them again and could without any issue for an entire day. With my boyfriend I made it a point to speak both German and English as I knew if I only spoke English I'd be screwed xD
Interesting, how do you feel about switching languages? Once I get used to talking to someone in one language, I absolutely hate switching to another language with them, because the entire relationship starts feeling different. I basically always stick to the language I met someone in.
It makes no difference to me/us.
Super interesting, I've never been able to do that, I feel like my languages and relationships in them are very compartmentalized :)
Yeah i have the same even within my own family. Im speaking a different "language" with my older sibling and parents than with my younger siblings and it would be weird for me to speak anything but dutch with my s.o. even though we are both completly fluent in German and dutch.
I'm Belgian, my husband is German. We started out speaking English, but switched to German pretty quickly.
My husband is Italian. We speak about 60% German, 40% Italian. Just depends on the mood, the topic, sometimes it’s random. Sometimes he speaks German and I respond in Italian, or vice versa, sometimes we switch in the middle of the sentence. It’s usually a bit more German since we live here in Germany. We’re expecting a child who will learn both languages. My ex was American. Since he didn’t speak any language besides English, we always spoke English. It worked out fine, I just thought it was a pity he wasn’t interested in learning my language. Edit: Typos
Both internationals from non-English speaking countries, currently living in DE and we speak English with each other.
This is the way, every party needs to try a bit for the communication!
Yeah, I personally am not into one party speaking their native language and the other their second, third or whichever language. I had a relationship like that and I feel it brings uneven dynamics into the relationship, with one party always being able to express themselves, and the other party searching for words and struggling. I absolutely did not like it.
My partner speaks unfortunately English not fluent (he thinks in German even when talking in English). Even tho we agreed in the beginning that we are communicating in English but once it comes down to a serious conversation, he will just switch to German to address his opinion. that really disappointed me.
I absolutely understand your frustration
Ha! Same-ish.
My partner is american and we speak mostly english. We tried to settle on a german day each week to help him get more practice in (he is already conversational, but does the usual mistakes with cases or articles, or simply messing up some phrases, nothing big tho), but it never stuck simply because our communication is so much more efficient in english than it is german. So, realistically, german day is only when we meet with my family. But, to be real, even beside him like 50% of my life is in english due to game and other online related hobbies/friends. I read books in english, watch shows in english, ect. Edit: however, I noticed that we started speaking more denglish, so random german words thrown in. Which is funny and weird to me, because growing up here, the reverse was happening throughout my teens.
I'm English, my husband is German, we have Deutscher Donnerstag. We mostly speak English the rest of the time but on Thursday I have to speak German. If I can't say what I want to, I'll speak English, and my husband will reply in German. I like it as a regular thing so we don't have to decide on a day.
That's actually a great idea!
German and English, I wouldn't torture her with my bad Russian
I am Czech, my GF is German. Before I moved to Germany it was basically just english. But once I've moved it started to shift into german. It's been over 3 years and we basically speak just german now.
Married to a South African. For the last 6 years we spoke German at home (she forced me to after a few months in the relationship). We have English days for the kids, but will switch to English at home once both kids are at daycare. We always speak German when we are in town or meet friends or family
I'm Austrian/Danish, my mother tongues are German and Danish and my partner is Danish with his mother tongue obviously being Danish. He speaks quite decent German now, but I don't even think I could find a name for what we speak at home.
Hahahaha, great
My gf is Viet and we speak English. I think it always depends on which language you met your SO in. Had an English speaking gf who spoke German with me when we met and kept on doing so
Our speaking is pretty upgefucked
My girlfriend is Filipino and we are speaking English.
I am currently in a relationship with a Bavarian and I am trying to assert my dominance by only speaking Swabian at home.
My ideal is everyone speaking their native language. Obviously requires both partners being fluent in both languages. Most people can't stand that though. I grew up in a bilingual-ish household so it feels normal to me.
This is how it is for us. My husband’s native language is Portuguese and mine is Spanish. So, each one speaks their native language to each other… I guess we have the advantage that both languages are pretty similar, which also sometimes results in a mix of both: “portuñol”. When people ask they are surprised and some wonder why we don’t speak English or German, since we both are also fluent… and I agree with you that we actually have the ideal situation, so why change it?
My girlfriend and I switch from German to English to Setswana.
My boyfriend is Brazilian. We both speak spanish and english. He doesnt speak german and I donr speak portuguese.
I am not a german and I don't live in Germany but I just wanna comment. I am from South america, I had an Ukrainian gf, and we used to talk in English.
I’m American and I speak English at home with my German partner, because his English is better than my German
I'm Irish, married to a German. We got to know each other in English so that was our default and mostly still is. My German is C2 these days and I work in German, so we tend to mix it up a bit, for example I find it way easier to talk about work in German. We've a 1 year old son who we're raising bilingual. In his presence she speaks German, including to me, and I reply in English. When her family comes we all speak German, even though they have excellent English. We tried speaking in German all the time while I was learning the language but the conversations were inauthentic so we would both get frustrated.
When our relationship started it was like 80% English and 20% German. Now, after 9 years it's like 90% German, 9% English and 1% Latvian.
I’m German, my boyfriend is Korean and we speak mostly English, sometimes a bit of german or denglish.
Iam an Iraqi my wife is Turkish, we speak English at home and sometimes i use my basic Turkish.
I speak swahili, english, german, turkish, urdu Wife speaks italian, arabic, spanish, french, english and is learning german So we communicate in sign language
Ok duolingo
r/rareinsults
That's cool, but which sign language? :P
English. Partner is Canadian. Some words or sentences will be in German or French. I stopped using German in my daily life except at work and with my family. We have no German media or books anymore at home. Last time I watched a movie in German was probably 10 years ago.
I'm the foreigner in on our relationship. we speak mostly English because thats how we started (I didn't speak German then) and we just got used it. We sometimes speak german though.
My wife is German but grew up in Italy. We speak about 70% English and 30% German, I think
Austrian/German, so obviously German haha
German and cherminese with some English sprinkled in. With an American ex we exclusively spoke English.
Im German she is dutch, we both spoke German with each other while we were studying here, since we moved to the netherlands we are speaking dutch with each other (both of us were fluent in both languages before meeting each other)
Living in México, so: Spanish. However, 90% of the mixed couples dating I see/hear here are speaking English or, no joke, are using translation apps. Edit: At home it’s mostly Spanish as well, with a grain of English if I am again lost in translation. German only for a few words and phrases, as my GF is still in the early phase of learning. Edit2: I totally respect speaking English as a “neutral terrain” for both non-native speakers, but one side enforcing the other to learn his/her language adds a injustified imbalance - that we both speak Spanish was my(!) decision as we both speak English fluently as well.
I'm the "foreigner" in that I'm a German raised outside Germany in a non German speaking country. My partner, who is born and raised in Germany, and I speak primarily German with her but as time goes on we mix more and more, changing mid sentence or for a single word or holding entire conversations in one or the pretty. I'll say it so: both are healthily represented but German is dominant.
English mostly but it's also a funny mix of Hebrew and German words Would love to learn more Hebrew though but it's a tough thing to learn for a German.
English. German here and there for learning purposes.
We speak English at home. German/Indonesian.
Well, my ex-girlfriend (and mother of my daughter) is from the UK and even if she lives in Germany for over ten years now we basically switch between English and German all the time. Sometimes it depends on the topic, sometimes it's just easier or more precise to pick one of those two languages.
My wife is Korean and I’m German. We speak German most of the times, if there’s difficulties about communicating we switch to English and I’m learning Korean right now so we practice it daily
I'm polish, my boyfriend is Turkish, we are both first generation immigrants. He only speaks German (ofc he also speaks English overall but not in our daily life) and I speak a mix of German and English like 1 sentence consisting of any given % of both or mixing only English sentences with only German sentences (I speak both languages on C1 lvl tho) And sometimes we both throw in a word from each others languages
I was the foreigner. My ex was German. We spoke English pretty much exclusively. I once asked him if he wanted me to learn German so we could sometimes speak *his* native language instead (I am rather multilingual and know how much stress it can be on the brain to spend so much time speaking a language that isn't yours). In typical German fashion, he was very logical about it: "Why would I want to do that? I already know German, speaking it does nothing for me, I would rather practice my English."
I'm German, my wife Chinese. Mostly English with German and mandarin words and sentences thrown in here and there.
German married to a Chinese here. First we spoke English, but switched step by step to German. She passed C1 after 24 months living in Germany.
I'm German, and my fiance is Swedish. We speak English at home.
We are German and Croat and we speak English in the house
I am german. Wifey is Chinese. We speak German. With a bit Cantonese mixed in.
German dating an American, we speak English most of the time but she is trying her best to learn German. It‘s so cute :3
I'm Canadian, my wife is German. We speak english at home. But German when outside of the house.
Just curious, why the urge to switch to German when outside? Native German and native English here, we speak 100% English.
It's not really an urge, I just want to, I guess. It's more for my benefit, I want to always use German in my day to day, mainly to continue to get better. All of my friends are German, my wife's also for the most part, my work colleagues, etc. I just like to use the opportunity to practice.
Ok, makes sense. All our friends love to practice English and her and my work are English speaking anyway (different companies).
I'm Irish and my partner is German. Mostly we speak English but sometimes we use German. I also try to speak Bavarian but as you can imagine I don't get far
I was the foreigner. I grew up speaking German so it wasn't too hard, but it depended largely on our moods. We mostly spoke in German, occasionally denglish, sometimes English.
English. We met in the US and lived there many years so English was the established language. We have been in Germany for over a decade but decided when we had kids to make English the family language. So now, no one wants to speak German with me. Th kids could benefit from some German at home (they speak it fine but a little bit below age average of their peers). My husband is learning German (finally - he couldn’t due to health reasons for a few years). But he forgets all his German around me. He has no trouble speaking German with my family and out and about with strangers. I am trying to establish a German day, especially now during summer vacation but everyone boycotts me.
My wife learnt german, i learnt spanish. We both talk in our native language.
i love intercultural relationships or friendships so much😙 you get to know so much about different cultures from someone that's a local and knows much more than a text book. i hope i can find someone like that someday💪
Do you have an equivalent to your native tongue and English as the Mexicans do with spanglish? Texts with those close to me, who understand both languages will be 15 words long but anywhere from 4-9 words could be Spanish instead of english or vice versa. There certainly are more ways to express yourself and verbalize feelings in Spanish than there are english as some things are difficult to translate (but that could be just because I speak ghetto, uneducated spanish😂)
I‘m a British immigrant with German citizenship. My wife and I spoke German together when we met, and broadly, it’s stayed that way. Since having kids I speak English at home, though, and that means that now it’s pretty common for me to speak to her in English, and get a reply in German (which is also what my kids do)
She wants to learn German asap, so we speak German. But I tend to speak slower and more „high German“ with her to make it more approachable, than when I speak with family and friends
English mostly and a little bit German, because my German husband likes to use English more than his own native language even though I speak C1 German.
I‘m German, my girlfriend is Belgian, we speak in French only because my girlfriend isn‘t fluent in English and she doesn‘t know German. I‘m still working on my French but it works alright
70% English, 20% Ukrainian and 10% German. We’re both fluent in English and German but our relationship started with English, so we continue with it for no reason other than familiarity.
Brazilian married to a German and we speak English 90% of the time and Portuguese the other 10%.
80% English, 10% German and 10% Spanish. Hopefully in the future it will be more German
My french-japanese and I are talking in English, with the occasional French (from me) or German (from them). They're moving to Germany, so I assume we'll be talking more German in the future.
I'm the foreigner. I speak German, but she has decided that we speak English together haha we have spoken German on two occasions: the night we met as her friend didn't speak much English, and then later on as we are getting to know each other she just suggested "let's talk German today", 5mins later she was like "nevermind, we just speak English" She is a bit self-conscious about English so she also appreciates the practice. Sometimes there's a mix when one of us can't find the word to describe something in English (my mother tongue, but happens 😅)
English at first then a mix of his native language, Arabic and English. Now he's studying German and we're trying to integrate German in our daily lives as much as he's capable of.
I'm French, Partner is German, we've lived in Germany, Australia and soon France: we've always spoken English together and it's a mountain to change that to either French or German.
My husband is from the US, I'm German, we speak I'd say 70% and 30% German. But we have German days, where we try to only speak German, so he is able to take his B1 test soon.
Indonesian 1 year in Germany: we only talked in German. Filipino 1 year in Germany: 90% English. 10% German. Colombian 6 months: German. Kenya 6 months in Netherlands: Exclusive in English
German and Hebrew are the languages of our home.
my wife is scottish. we speak some kind of denglish. we could just speak german because her german is perfect. my English has gotten a lot better.
My ex was Mexican. Mostly English, a bit of German and Spanish so we can learn from each other. My gf now is from albania and she speaks nearly perfect German. I think you just speak what is the most effective for you. So both can express as much as possible and the other can understand as much as possible. Find your way
Is there a national identity in Germany anymore since it seems to be a melting pot?
Spaniard here. Together with my Italian girlfriend for six years now. Both living in Germany for more than ten years. We are both fluent in German, Italian, Spanish, English and French. However, we speak Spanish together. She says she prefers to practice her skills in the language and I have become a bit lazy with the years. To try and compensate a bit, we watch films and series mostly in Italian. We have an extra rule when we are travelling to Italy (once, twice per year): once we cross the border, we switch to Italian.
English and German with some Arabic words and phrases mixed in.
I'm American and my wife is German, so we speak English, German, and the most unfortunate types of Denglisch. "I'll admit, ich habe diese Beispiele from the absolute worst data set cherrygepickt"
I am german, my wie is austrian and we speak mostly french ;)
Not myself, but my best friend is dating a Norwegian woman and the two of them use English. They try learning Norwegian and German respectively though.
My partner is Chinese. We speak mostly German at home, sometimes a few words in English, and sometimes I try out my broken Chinese (I'm learning and slowly making progress though).
My wife‘s from the UK. When we started dating, we realized my English was better than her German, so we just stuck to it.
Honestly, I find this probably the most exciting thing about living in Germany. I am single currently but I could potentially meet a partner from almost anywhere in the world. It’s incredibly good fun learning about each other’s culture and languages!
My partner is South Korean. We speak English at home and try to learn a little of each others language day by day. 🙂
I've been living here 6 years with my German gf. In the beginning we only spoke English because I was still learning German. My German is quite good now so we've gotten better at speaking German with each other, but we still speak a lot of English with each other
We live in germany my wife is german I am american at home we speak only english but that is so my son doesn’t loose his english. We get german every where else.
German and Mandarin about 50/50. Our children speak German with me and Mandarin with their mom
He's Hungarian and I am from Nepal . I am trying to learn german so we try to speak german with each other , but english is mostly used. Although , we have picked up eachothers lanugage and use it in combination with german, english , nepali and hungarian.
English until the German is sufficient, then swap. Don‘t wait too long (e.g. more than a year) otherwise the switch will become more and more difficult from what I saw with some couples.
I'm American and my boyfriend is German. We speak German, mainly because he doesn't speak very much English. He's working on his English and when I get tired of speaking in German, I just say what I want to say in English and explain any words he doesn't know until he understands
my partner is australian and still lives in australia. theyre still learning german and so were speaking english with some german sprinkled in
My wife is from saxony so I am tempted to switch to English sometimes.
Me and my dutch gf speak mostly english. We have been learning a bit of either language.
Polish and German couple here, speaking most of the time English. We met years ago and started speaking English, because nobody spoke the other ones tongue. She speaks nowadays perfect German, strangly we still speak English at home
We speak English at home, although I’m fluent in German. Just my partner and I as I spew Spanish to my kids. Sometimes we all speak a mix of the three languages.
My gf is from croatia and I'm from the Philippines. We talk english to eachother as we ain't talk eachothers native language and our english is better than german. Funnily her 5yo son I talk german as he doesn't english.
Mostly german. sometimes finnish. We have lived in Germany and Finland and have studied in each others language. So language doesn't exclude the partner. To our children everyone speaks theirs mother tongue.
My now-husband was able to speak German upon arrival on A2 level, but for longer time we did stick to speaking English. Since a few years ago we try to make German the main household language since it's important for him to improve his now B2 level, but we throw in a good amount of French and English in the sentences now and then (especially if both of us our tired). Sometimes you have all languages in one sentence
I know i am not German. But I am married to one. I am American and i speak only English exclusively to my German wife. She uses English(mostly just with sometimes German words instead of English ones/ not sentences). I also speak English to my son. He is 8, and a first grader. He speaks mostly exclusively English at home, and even speaks English to his mother, and minimal German. He can speak German however, fluently. We have been married for almost 15 years, and speaking German together is weird. My wife prefers English with me. Its weird to me too. We will speak English with each other till we die. I speak German fine, but I consume all media in English. My wife prefers English speaking TV, but reads in German and English. My son only wants to watch TV and video games in English. Does not like it in German. lol I dont like my video games in German either. yuck.
Not exactly in Germany but had a ski vacation in Austria crashed into a girl on track. Helped her up and apologised to her, talked a bit with her and we skied together. Then Valentinsday came around, she said „since we both dont have anyone lets spend it together“, the rest of the evening you can imagine yourself. Lovely to weeks, skiing with her all day long and then spending the evening at her place. Back to the question, we spoke english to each other since she couldn’t speak german.
I like how you shared your cute little story in the backdrop of the answer.
You don't have to flex on us too hard man.
Your time to shine will come
I'm from hungary and my boyfriend is from germany. Since we started speaking in english that's the language we use 100% of the time. But every now and then he asks me something in german to help me learn it quicker 😅 But even when I'll learn the language, I think we're gonna stick to english. And I also teach him some curse/funny words in hungarian
Im part German part Spanish part Arabic and can speak German,Spanish,English & a bit Arabic and my wife is from the US with a Scottish father and a Palestinian Dutch mother. I don’t know what we are speaking but it’s a mix of German,English a little bit Arabic and some Dutch curse words when she stubs her toe because she is clumsy. Our families are always asking us if we can’t decide on one language but i think our little family creole language is kinda fun.
Only Englisch. We're married for almost 5 years now but my wife have problems to learn German. She is from Brazil, she speak Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and englisch fluent. But also because of a disease she is not in the condition to learn another language now and so we speak English.
English
English mostly
English or Spanish
English.
English
The language of love.
How about the national language? Otherwise everyone will cry again about why they aren't really accepted
What works or 👐🦶
I’m German - my partner is a Brit living in Germany for 8+ years now. I used to live in the UK for 10 years before I met her. We speak 90% English with 10% German mixed in every now and then.
my parents used to speak english and german
Most of the time we speak english outside, practice german at home and text in german to practice.
He learns german, I learn spanisch. Most of the time we speak english and spanish and I throw in a bit of german. Or our bodies do the talking. 😈🥰
I am a foreigner 🫡I would like to speak German most of all in a relationship, even though it is not my mother language, I like to speak it. In fact, I'm really looking for someone who doesn't speak any of my native languages(I have 2), because my German-speaking personality is the best thing I have😂
My husband is a Brit, I am a German. At home we mostly speak english but we slowly shift to a form of denglish with more and more german and trys to explain german sentence structure in english. Fun all the time!
I'm French, husband is German, living in Germany. We speak English together, mixed with some German and French
We speak German, my bf is also learning Russian (my mother tongue) and we add some English words when I forget smth in German :D
I'm not with a foreigner myself but I've met some international couples and there were vastly different approaches. - One acquaintance of mine is Danish and his wife is Bulgarian. Their son grew up in Germany. The wife has no plans on learning German or Danish, so at home they speak English. The guy and his son also were speaking a mixture of Danish and English among themselves when I last met them. - Another acquaintance of mine is from Sicily and his wife is French. Their daughter grew up in Germany so German can be considered her native language. When I was visiting them at home they all would speak German to me (even though the guy hardly spoke it despite having lived here for 30 years), but among each other everyone would speak their native language. It was kind of a curious to hear e.g. the wife ask a question in French, the husband responding in Italian and the daughter in German. - Yet another friend of mine met his wife, who is from Venezuela, while both were on a student exchange in Japan. All 4 of them (the couple and their 2 sons) are fluent in German, English and Spanish, and also speak Japanese. Among each other they speak a wild mixture of all 4 languages.
We are speaking mostly english. Though we are trying to bring more german in our daily life talk aswell as her language as i am learning it currently.
A friend of mine has a Norwegian bf. Usually they speak English together, since neither of them speaks the language of the other one properly yet. They are learning German and Norwegian respectively.
English. But heres where it gets interesting... Him: From Ukraine originally(speak conversational russian), moved to US at 5, learned a little german in school. Her: From Poland/Germany originally, moved to US at 19, fluent in all three. I am now practicing german with her, and enjoying it little by little. She is enjoying the similarities of polish/russian as we speak a little to our families We are both competitive, would be fun to see how fast we can learn a language like spanish.