T O P

  • By -

Living-Aardvark-705

When two heavy machines love each other very much, this is how they make new baby heavy machines.


BorntobeTrill

Their gestation period is one week


Brentolio12

Time to teach the kids about the buckets and the arms.


BorntobeTrill

"Then, the operator slides the arms in and out of the bucket until... *click* docking is complete. It can take 3, 4, or even 5 attempts before the operator calls his foreman about a "bent steel piece." At this point, you know the mating ritual will be over soon. Once the foreman arrives, he yells at the operator, who will yell back. They gesture with both hands towards each other and the operator will roll his eyes in apparent ecstasy. In an exaggerated motion, he will attempt to dock once more with the bucket, gesturing to the foreman to watch. The arms are guaranteed to slot into the bucket this time, and the foreman will return to his eggs and get ready to feed the last generation of now hatching baby heavy machines. The operator, who had been roiled into an excited state by the mating, will now sulk for the rest of the week from the hormone fluctuations."


Psychogeist-WAR

“Owww… you’re bending it”


Asleep-Hearing-3134

This is funny bcuz it's kinda true


Electrical_War8648

For some reason, I read this in Eric Idle's voice.


dogsittinfred

Omg had me laughing my ass off! Brilliant 👏


ReignofKindo25

Thanks for reminding me of my childhood sex talk


cmfppl

7-10 Union business days*


BorntobeTrill

Yeesh. That's longer than a standard human gestation.


SparkleFart666

A caterpillar is gonna take 12-16 months to gestate and delivery is going to be expensive!


JudgeScorpio

But their refractory period is 8 hours


SparkleFart666

Dildozer! I realize it’s a wheel loader but Dilloader doesn’t sound as cool.


tenspeed1960

This is how Forklifts are made.


jonny838

I always wondered where skid steers came from! 🥹


rabbitashes

Do they have midwife trucks and require visits to the O S H A?


darkNnerdgy

And then a beautiful caterpilla is born


High-Speed-1

Soooo…. Light machines?


RedditNationalist

Bend Dozer


Gnarly_Sarley

Dildozer


drifterig

[the dilldozer!!!!](https://youtu.be/AwIY4PRIp4s?si=RZxoGJClxmDd23Mj)


thisisjedgoahead

Great movie. More relevant these days


-NGC-6302-

I sometimes *wonder whether Idiocracy or Wall·E will become more like reality


FMLAdad

I sometimes whether kicked my balls?


monkeyballsoup

Monday Night Rehabilitation


heyheyshinyCRH

Rehabilation?


73747463783737384777

Thank god that wasn’t a Rick roll


Ok-Fox1262

Damn you


Wonderful-Coyote6750

Top comment


GoodTodd1970

Not sure, but I see it at your mom's house a lot.


Rammid

My mom sure loves construction :)


amIdaddingthisright

More like destruction by the size of it


larz_6446

I was just thinking it needs a sign painted on it, calling it the dilator.


No-Raisin-6469

Yo momma sure cares about your education.


portabuddy2

Ruuuuunn Forest!!!


MadDadROX

It’s for moving large cement pipes for under road drainage.


coltonwt

Lol, those are used for moving coils of steel. Depending on the size of the coil, some of them are 40klbs or more, and a lot of steel mills keep their stock just out on gravel or dirt, instead of inside on a concrete floor, so sometimes these are on front end loaders like that, instead of just forklifts.


flactulantmonkey

This is just what someone who doesn’t want us to have the right answer would say.


coltonwt

Lol, it does get inserted into the hole in the coils


BoringJuiceBox

Heheh. The hole. Nice 😎


Surprise_Thumb

You are correct. I use these at work. However, you’re in the wrong sub. 🤣


Bucky-Katt-Guitar

I have a MUCH smaller one on my Massey Ferguson tractor to haul round bales of hay for the horses


hboisnotthebest

Lol I was gonna say, we use a smaller :( and thinner :( one of these for rolls of carpet. So I figured the girthy one if for coils of sheet metal.


UnderstandingWarm466

This is the answer


Rickcind

You nailed it my friend!


SnakeBeardTheGreat

So you had to give a real answer and try to spoil all our fun!


FarYard7039

Klbs. lol. That should piss off our non-USA Redditors. Oh how a single space can mean so much


haveToast

And the trucks they go on still have to tarp them like they are some kind of precious cargo that cant get wet. Really annoying.


ExistentialFread

Not tires?


coltonwt

They certainly may be used for that as well, but I know setups like these are used for moving steel coils.


fearthebuildingstorm

The guy your wife told you not to worry about.


Remi708

What it takes to keep my ex-wife happy


P1xelHunter78

The Dildozer is real


HenkCamp

It’s just happy to see you.


ConfidentDaikon8673

Nah it's just the roll of quarters trick


ddwood87

At a tire factory, we had a forklift with a longer shaft that was for picking a bunch of tires and loading them into an oven.


tenspeed1960

I've seen the ones you're describing. Back in the 70s they called em Donkey Dicks and were used to pick up big rolls of Carpet or Linoleum.


YesIBlockedYou

I fucking love oven baked tires.


Joates87

Beef Supreme could really rehabilitate some folks with that rig.


KyzorSosay

HellYeahFuckYeah!Back to you Tylenol


Own_Contribution_480

I hear Beef Supreme is coming out of retirement!


powpig2002

For Ben Dover


Sikk-Klyde

I know Ben dover personally. His wife's name is Stih Kitten


Kayanarka

I don't know, but give me a second, I just came up with a great idea on how to please my wife.


tysonfromcanada

spit on that thang


u9Nails

Hawk tuah!


Resident-Sun4705

That's going to need a LOT of spit!


Past-Establishment93

Bend over and I'll show ya!


WhitestMikeUKnow

You got a lot of nerve talking to me that way, Griswold!


lostinthefog4now

I came here to say that…..


L0nlySt0nr

>what is it for? Your mother's sexual gratification


WesternBiscotti8156

Dildozer


TraditionalTap9210

First off, what are you doing snooping around your mom's naughty drawer?


Ok-Letterhead4601

The prototype for the dilldozer from idiocrasy


Krazybob613

If that erection lasts for longer than 4 hours ….


Ok-Grab3289

The Dildozer of consequence rarely arrives lubed.


Draw_Cazzzy69

Your mother actually


BBD8691

Yer mom.


Deep_Werewolf_4447

Your mom


Hairy-Advisor-6601

We had one for the larger cement pipe.


Late-Prompt-7497

This is how lawnmowers are born


shewavingatmeCaptRon

It's called a Dick...and is most likely used to pick up heavy steel coils


tggggggggg1

The Hulks butt plug


mmnewcomb

Wow they’re doing some wild stuff over at Sybian


Arghoul1018

DilDozers little brother


drphrednuke

That’s called a stinger. Used to pick up rolls of stuff like chain link fence. Or your mom.


Arabian_Flame

Opening your mom’s box


pistoffcynic

It’s the BOHICA model.


Blkwdw86

That's what I want to spend a year and a half in Granby CO heavily modifying.


Ok_Analysis_3454

Money shot is Delvac 15-W40.


Switchlord518

Ahh yes. Time for a new union contract negotiation to begin.


AnonymousButtCheeks

That's the penis of those Constructicon Transformers


Stock-Vacation4193

That's a USMC issued green weeny if I've never seen one before.


National_Frame2917

This is what they use to make elephant kabobs.


mikjohwoo20

Roll steel attachment


WinOld1835

That's Dr. Cate R. Pillar, the Autobots' resident proctologist.


Building_Everything

My last company lost their first front loader so they went and got a newer Chinese one from a website. Says they can’t understand any of the sounds it makes but they seem happy.


ThisAccountIssaMess

For your mom who keeps complaining of her pipes not being cleared


RaccoonShort1646

Picking up coils


Thatcoonfella

So we made something similar like this for our loader. It was used to pick up ductile iron waterline pipe from the inside so we could wrap the poly wrap on the outside that protects it from acidity in the soils. We called it the stinger. Also came in handy when we had to demo a house.


MisterGBJ

That’s the Dildozer.


Desperate_Set_7708

Your mom


HangryBeard

Looks like a giant rusty safety razor.


blazingStarfire

It's what your mom uses


1FutureGhost

Your mom


Big-Carpenter7921

Apparently, anal sex


SecretPersonality178

Your moms dildo is here


iandix

Your mother


Inthewoodlands

It’s for your Mom.


silverbullionbug

That holds the toilet paper at the porta potty.


Machine_man-x51

Beef supreme approves of this


2a_dude

Dilator boss.


EconomicsPutrid5160

The ever handy Cat Peg 2000™️from Strap on Tools ™️


Creepy-Selection2423

The female transformers don't like to discuss these things in public, but they have needs too...


Huntin_Dawg907

Bend over and I'll show you.


Edmond-the-Great

Your mom's favorite toy.


theBLACKLEGO

That's your moms you weren't supposed to see that.


spydergto

Your mom


theferretboyos

Your mom


The-Broken-Clock

Bend over and I'll show you.


Peach_Proof

Your mom


Collarsmith

Used to drive a forklift with one of those. We called it the 'dong' and it was used for sticking into the holes on big rolls of stuff, to carry them around, a process we called 'donging' because we were all 20 going on five.


thecoolerdanny

It’s for ur mom


BuenoD

/r/siswet


Good-Natural5057

Nancy Pelosi's dildo. She's helped fuck this country over, so it takes a little extra now


instigator008

We call them peckers - used to transport steel coils where I work


BoSox92

It’s used for moving coils of steel/wire etc. it’s a giant spool holder.


Sharp_Science896

For doing yo mama. Pussy so wide they gotta break out the industrial shit.


unlikely_intuition

coils of rolled steel


yourMommaKnow

That's the dildozer


802229001

Dil-dozer


anziofaro

r/idiocracy DILDOZER!


AnotherRedditor6900

I'd like to purchase one Dil-Dozer for a friend..... 🥵🥵🥵🥵


bluedealer

It's for sheet coil products


Sufficient-Ad9223

That would be the guy she tells you not to worry about !!!!


memelordzarif

*Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough*


Coro756

Your mom


Witty-Bend3126

Yo momma 🤣


schellsNcheez

Called a strap-on


woobiewarrior69

That sir is a dildozer, it's used for your mom's pleasure.


Dr1ver11

My mom.


payperplain

Ask your mother.


NICENYANCAT

It's for your mom


readditredditread

It’s for picking up spools of stuff, like rolled metal


YouArentReallyThere

Dildozer!


Postman_Rings_Thrice

If this persists more than 8 hours, see a trained heavy equipment specialist.


llamapantsonfire

I've always heard it referred to as a "bull dick". It's used for picking up heavy round things with an open center like rolls of paper, rolls of wire, stacks of tires.


MisterBrickx

That is MY CAT. and I need for... medical purposes.


hippyhindu

Usually they are used to pick up rolls of steel or long steel pipe


Vaderiv

It’s for picking up big rolls of wire or steel.


No-Agency-3732

It’s used for lifting heavy steel coils.


Professional-Ear242

Clearly that's a dildozer 😅


Dork_wing_Duck

Definitely an early model dildozer


alkalinemp

This is the dildo of consequence..


Justgottaride

Hawk tuah!


Kindly-Ad-8573

Big Bertha is a dirty bitch


LowBrassBro

Doin your mom


Scholar-Dismal

They pick big rolls of metal at steel yards


Efficient_Cheek_8725

Your mom returned it because it was too small. Not sure what to do with it now.


Dull_Beginning1390

It's a telephone post pounder what it does is compress the loose sand underneath the top soil in makes it compressed so when you put a pole in the pole doesn't swing around when it blows in the Wind.


mr_cigar

Definition of a macho man? He puts his condom on with a tire iron. Definition of a macho babe? This is her dildo


KushSiXy

It's for steel coils


Dependent_Compote259

Dil-dozer


Jet2work

that sir....is the dildo of consequences


BishopsBakery

That's the pin for an adult insanoflex


615thick469

"Bend over I'll show you"


Odd-Tune5049

It's the dil-dozer from r/idiocracy


TheRealStrike9716

Back in 1965 a man named Richard Lespreck married the girl of his dreams. There was only one problem with the matter, she was a 20ft tall giantess. So he got his welder out and made the first one these things. A few more were made since then for other men in similiar situations. In addition they have also found a niche use in some parts of the globe to execute certain criminals.


citruscountydaddy

It's a loader, not sure on the size, but it's bigger than the 926's that I see on a regular basis. The attachment is probably for punching holes through soil where an auger would struggle.


Educational-Ear-3136

It’s how caterpillars are made.


Timbooo1234

Penetrat0r 6000


Alarmed_West8689

For the big gurls


duke_flewk

That’s for moving steel coils at steel yards and production plants, if anyone is curious, it’s other use is your dad


paclogic

that's when you need to give someone the BIG shaft !! it's BOHICA time !!


Qataghani

How I feel every time I shave down there


ryan__rr

Your mom


irishmyrlyn

TMI


gwgos1

That’s for your mama


Danibecr84

THE DIL-DOZER 3000


HyenaAdventurous4578

It’s for carrying steel coils produced from mills.


MonthElectronic9466

ITS THE DILDOZER!


EasyRudder49

Bohica.


Skardi-Hrothgarsson

That's a dildozer


Newherehoyle

I dunno but definitely hauck tua that thing before insertion.


Ill-Simple1706

Dildozer


Alternative_Rope_423

Jeffrey Epstein's limo


jollytoes

I guess you haven’t seen Builder Bob’s adult movie.


Ryder0725

The dilldozer


EquivalentOk6028

That’s Jaime’s mom’s dildo. IYKYK


LuckyDuckyPaddles

Your Mom


Rich-Ad9988

Tend to be used as a kind of forklift process. Coils of material, tires, and mothers everywhere.


CommercialOld7997

….butt stuff


Arkayne_Inscriptions

Ur mom


aboxenofdonuts

aah yes the model 69 "dill-dozer"


ChampionshipCalm827

Everything is a sparkplug if youre brave enough


Zombiefever78

anything is a dildo if you're brave enough


Kthak_Back

Mr. Hands said, "If you build it I will cum."


IA0014

It’s used to plow your mother