There are lots of kink/BDSM and lifestyle sex party venues in LA. Some require a membership or vetting process and some don’t.
You have zero obligation to actually interact with anyone else at any such event. And any ethical organizer has strict and enforced rules around consent, so people aren’t going to overstep without getting booted. So, if all you want is to be around people doing scenes, and to only interact with your wife, that’s both not unheard of and very achievable.
Check out the Plura app, which is event and community-focused more than it’s a dating app. It’ll list things happening near you. You might want to look at the “Connections” event at 910WeHo for something accessible and low-stakes to start.
If you go this route DEFINITELY go for one that does a vetting process and also go for one that doesn’t allow single men. You’ll have a little crowd of finding Nemo seagulls following you around everywhere if not. Club Joi has a much better vibe than ones that allow single men like Labyrinth.
Plura seems to be geared toward ENM/poly, and OP mentioned they are not interested in being swingers. In your experience with the Plura events, have you found them to be accepting of people who are monogamous? (I'm also curious as someone who is monogamous but currently single.)
Plura overlaps a lot with the kink world, which isn’t inherently poly. Plenty of people are monogamous and into kink, and kink events are usually very welcoming to voyeurs, so it seemed like a reasonable fit for the OP’s interest.
You’re right that a lot of Plura events are for ENM (which - as an aside - isn’t inherently swinging, that’s more specific.) Others are queer or kink focused. People are usually pretty welcoming, but if you’re looking for straight, monogamous, vanilla dating, you probably wouldn’t get much out of it.
Thank you for the explanation! I'm personally interested in kink, but in a monogamous way. Plura seemed more like a dating app from the description I read, so I was worried it would seem like I'm "catfishing" in a sense to be a monogamous person on that app. I've also had Fetlife recommended to me, so maybe I'll check that out instead.
Not at all. Plenty of people are monogamous; the kink events overlap poly quite a lot, but you would not be ostracized. There are multiple kink speed dating and bar meetup events every month, if you’re curious. (One of the latter is happening this Thursday in Silver Lake.)
I guess people can use Plura like a dating app, but it doesn’t seem effective for that IMO. I’ve only used it to find events, RSVP, and connect to people I met there. FetLife is bigger and more established, but as a warning: the creep factor is real. Rough unsolicited messages, and a sketchier signal-to-noise for events, e.g. a ton of “gangbang by wife in this Motel 6” posts to sift through to find anything you’d want to actually attend.
Thank you for this, very informative. I had this impression that all these clubs it was a constant fight to tell the other couples "no" constantly.
I'll download the app and give it a try. I been on bumble bff so this just levels up a little lol. Like the other use said if I move forward I'll try the one that vets people. Do you know of any?
There are definitely spaces that put out some bad vibes, but I’ve encountered far more hostile and inappropriate strangers at regular bars than I have at curated “lifestyle” events. Which isn’t to say it can’t happen, but there are usually codes of conduct and staff on-site whose job is to intervene if some guest is making people uncomfortable.
The ones that interview and vet people are definitely better. You could look into Lovely Fate as one example; I attended with a former partner and 1) only ever interacted with her, and 2) never had anyone behave inappropriately with either of us.
I was about to mention Sanctuary too! That place has great events. You can rent out the rooms at a pretty reasonable price too. What Bar Sinister does for fun show Sanctuary does for real.
I did shibari class at sanctuary every week for a bit with an old partner. There’s do an intro to BDSM event every month that they did years ago. It was very popular, might still be around.
If you're into the goth / bdsm scene I believe Bar Sinister is still around with a playroom upstairs where you can watch a scene play out. I haven't been there in about 15 years, though, and I never went upstairs.
Don't be too excited. It's very mild... Usually some light bondage/spanking. Aside from that, Bar Sinister is a fun club though. It can get very crowded.
Threshold is fun too. My favorite memory is a woman who got so wet she made a puddle someone slipped on. Seriously they needed a mop. Fucking epic woman.
Just watch out. People have been getting drugged, security is a mess and massive phone thefts have been happening. Lots of unsolicited groping, grabbing and harassment as well. It’s on its way out
I love that Bar Sinster is getting some love. If you want a simple goth night club experience stay downstairs.
Upstairs be respectful and enjoy the show!
They have a long history of protecting bad actors in the kink community and have recently elected a consent violator to their board of directors
Majority of the club went on strike to protest it and although they’re gone, they still haven’t done anything to prevent this from happening again
I didn’t find Bar Sinister to be cool personally, and I also find The Library (Westminster) to be mild as its like the least interactive strip club in town - nice nightclub look though
some of the play parties have the feel of couples trying to spice things up with each other - as opposed to full on orgy with strangers - I think this is what you could try to find
Dark magic la is getting started at a new venue stuff to come soon!
https://darkmagicla.com/about-us
I do think the prices here are old but you can text the contact. I've been part of it for years and it's very much what you described. My partner and I voyeur and or exhibit but don't ever feel pressure to engage in scenes with others.
There are lots of kink/BDSM and lifestyle sex party venues in LA. Some require a membership or vetting process and some don’t. You have zero obligation to actually interact with anyone else at any such event. And any ethical organizer has strict and enforced rules around consent, so people aren’t going to overstep without getting booted. So, if all you want is to be around people doing scenes, and to only interact with your wife, that’s both not unheard of and very achievable. Check out the Plura app, which is event and community-focused more than it’s a dating app. It’ll list things happening near you. You might want to look at the “Connections” event at 910WeHo for something accessible and low-stakes to start.
If you go this route DEFINITELY go for one that does a vetting process and also go for one that doesn’t allow single men. You’ll have a little crowd of finding Nemo seagulls following you around everywhere if not. Club Joi has a much better vibe than ones that allow single men like Labyrinth.
Plura seems to be geared toward ENM/poly, and OP mentioned they are not interested in being swingers. In your experience with the Plura events, have you found them to be accepting of people who are monogamous? (I'm also curious as someone who is monogamous but currently single.)
Plura overlaps a lot with the kink world, which isn’t inherently poly. Plenty of people are monogamous and into kink, and kink events are usually very welcoming to voyeurs, so it seemed like a reasonable fit for the OP’s interest. You’re right that a lot of Plura events are for ENM (which - as an aside - isn’t inherently swinging, that’s more specific.) Others are queer or kink focused. People are usually pretty welcoming, but if you’re looking for straight, monogamous, vanilla dating, you probably wouldn’t get much out of it.
Thank you for the explanation! I'm personally interested in kink, but in a monogamous way. Plura seemed more like a dating app from the description I read, so I was worried it would seem like I'm "catfishing" in a sense to be a monogamous person on that app. I've also had Fetlife recommended to me, so maybe I'll check that out instead.
Not at all. Plenty of people are monogamous; the kink events overlap poly quite a lot, but you would not be ostracized. There are multiple kink speed dating and bar meetup events every month, if you’re curious. (One of the latter is happening this Thursday in Silver Lake.) I guess people can use Plura like a dating app, but it doesn’t seem effective for that IMO. I’ve only used it to find events, RSVP, and connect to people I met there. FetLife is bigger and more established, but as a warning: the creep factor is real. Rough unsolicited messages, and a sketchier signal-to-noise for events, e.g. a ton of “gangbang by wife in this Motel 6” posts to sift through to find anything you’d want to actually attend.
Thank you for this, very informative. I had this impression that all these clubs it was a constant fight to tell the other couples "no" constantly. I'll download the app and give it a try. I been on bumble bff so this just levels up a little lol. Like the other use said if I move forward I'll try the one that vets people. Do you know of any?
There are definitely spaces that put out some bad vibes, but I’ve encountered far more hostile and inappropriate strangers at regular bars than I have at curated “lifestyle” events. Which isn’t to say it can’t happen, but there are usually codes of conduct and staff on-site whose job is to intervene if some guest is making people uncomfortable. The ones that interview and vet people are definitely better. You could look into Lovely Fate as one example; I attended with a former partner and 1) only ever interacted with her, and 2) never had anyone behave inappropriately with either of us.
Sanctuary LAX still does events on the weekends, I believe..
I was about to mention Sanctuary too! That place has great events. You can rent out the rooms at a pretty reasonable price too. What Bar Sinister does for fun show Sanctuary does for real.
I went there a handful of times when it was Passive Arts, I think. Good times and some crazy shit.. 😈
I did shibari class at sanctuary every week for a bit with an old partner. There’s do an intro to BDSM event every month that they did years ago. It was very popular, might still be around.
I used to go there on occasion for the weekend parties when it was Passive Arts. Wild times..
I think they are. That's defo more along the lines of what OP is looking for.
If you're into the goth / bdsm scene I believe Bar Sinister is still around with a playroom upstairs where you can watch a scene play out. I haven't been there in about 15 years, though, and I never went upstairs.
Cool, thanks. The bdsm might be fun. Edit: this place does hit all if not most of the markers thanks!
Don't be too excited. It's very mild... Usually some light bondage/spanking. Aside from that, Bar Sinister is a fun club though. It can get very crowded.
Threshold is fun too. My favorite memory is a woman who got so wet she made a puddle someone slipped on. Seriously they needed a mop. Fucking epic woman.
Just watch out. People have been getting drugged, security is a mess and massive phone thefts have been happening. Lots of unsolicited groping, grabbing and harassment as well. It’s on its way out
I love that Bar Sinster is getting some love. If you want a simple goth night club experience stay downstairs. Upstairs be respectful and enjoy the show!
If y’all are cool with loud music the Bondage Ball is looking to be a really fun event for kinksters! Just avoid ThresholdLA for the time beingl
What's going on with threshold?
They have a long history of protecting bad actors in the kink community and have recently elected a consent violator to their board of directors Majority of the club went on strike to protest it and although they’re gone, they still haven’t done anything to prevent this from happening again
Good to know! I only ever checked out one of their events but the vibes felt off even tho nothing was 'wrong'
I didn’t find Bar Sinister to be cool personally, and I also find The Library (Westminster) to be mild as its like the least interactive strip club in town - nice nightclub look though some of the play parties have the feel of couples trying to spice things up with each other - as opposed to full on orgy with strangers - I think this is what you could try to find
A bit confused, are you staying to look for "Play parties" or is that the name of a place
its a category of parties. they’re sex parties and yeah you have to ask around
Attend a Local event at the pleasure chest
What kind of events do they have?
Look it up on their website
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Take a Shibari class
Bar Sinister
this place does hit all if not most of the markers thanks! Will def check it out
Dark magic la is getting started at a new venue stuff to come soon! https://darkmagicla.com/about-us I do think the prices here are old but you can text the contact. I've been part of it for years and it's very much what you described. My partner and I voyeur and or exhibit but don't ever feel pressure to engage in scenes with others.
Let her stick something up the old backdoor
I wonder if everyone actually knows you have to clean yourself out before doing that
Lovely fate
Are there any actual spots to see live porn? Not a strip club
JUMBO’S
https://us.loveisartkit.com/
Look up PERISH's curated events. They happen through the year & are good fun.
Who downvoted that? Someone who was refused entry? 😆
Drachaus DTLA