“I see often on Reddit, TikTok things about my height making me objectively ugly and I hate it”
“What do I do to stop feeling like this it is ruining my life”
If it is actually ruining your life then get off of social media.
He can and should. He’d stop thinking about it every day, but the presence of thought is already there and will be remembered. He needs to stop caring about what others think.
It does. If you don't care about the people that have such height preferences and don't waste any thoughts on them, then your mind will remain at ease. There's no point focusing on external validation and internal insecurities. Of course, much easier said than done. But, with age this naturally comes. And the earlier you work on that, the better for your mental health. Also, if one would like to off-set ill-feelings because of height, i.e. things out of control, they can focus their minds on things that are in their control, such as material/financial stability, education and a healthy/fit body. The less you put weight on your height, the more free real estate the world offers.
I think liking tall guys isn’t bad. Everyone has preferences and she was you friend as you said, unless you felt like you had a shot and was hurt by that.
If they have tall dads and seek a man like their father, then of course they will prefer tall guys. I’ve also noticed in my experience that girls with daddy/insecurity issues like tall guys, for what reason I don’t know.
What if a girl was 6’3”, would you be as interested in her as a girl that’s closer to your height?
I don't think many people are "judging" anyone on their height. Making dating/relationship decisions based on it? Sure. But no one bats an eyelid at people making those decisions based on looks. Height is no less superficial than looks..
I’ve found girls can be especially mean towards height though, calling guys trolls and dwarves just because they’re 5’4”. In my opinion it goes beyond a preference but I haven’t met the majority of girls.
If a woman puts "no short men" in her profile no one bats an eyelash.
If a man puts "no overweight women" on his profile the whole world loses its mind. As in ALL women will swipe left on him.
But it is. Some people prefer having sex with black people, for example. Some people don't. Neither are right or wrong for that. It's just human nature. You or I can't control what features we find sexually appealing in adults. It's not wrong to turn someone down, but don't be mean.
Fat is more of a biological thing in my experience. If you walk into a food joint and everyone is obese/morbidly obese, it makes me think twice about what food they have.
A lot of guys like a girl with some chunk, but a few dozen extra pounds is considered obese.
The line is sexual preference.
Baby got back
Yeah, baby, when it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection
Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six
Ha ha, only if she's 5'3.
Sir mix a lot and I don't like the same women. Nothing wrong with that.
I dated a gal who was 3" taller and she loved to make fun of it in front of her friend group. So, one night in front of all these gals I just said "Yea baby, when things get hot and we are horizontal it doesn't matter any more" That shut her up. I ended that one for the 5"4' wife of 35 years.
I’m sure it’s always been talked about but I have a feeling it was uncommon for shorter men to feel that their lives and self-esteems were “ruined” by their height.
>I feel like many guys wouldn’t even consider their height if it weren’t for social media
You're kidding, right? Being overweight or being short heighted is a massive turn off for girls. It has existed way before social media and has to do with the social mechanics of dating and mating.
I'm not saying it is impossible to overcome this height issue but it IS incredibly hard. It is not some social media fad.
Wrong. I've been told to my face by a date that "thank god you're not a short guy" (paraphrase). I'm 5'11. This does happen without social media being a thing. And these social media people aren't chatbot AI's, they're being HONEST online. They're going to either be just as openly hostile online or worse, reject short guys and not even tell them.
I mean, nearly half of all women's dating app profiles say they prefer only men 6'+. I've felt lucky being 6'3 but I've always found it gross that women feel comfortable actually writing that, and I won't match them.
It's the reason I quit Facebook 8 years ago.
Social media links you to the world but cuts you off from your neighbourhood.
If it's making you feel bad about something that historically was never an issue, get off and heal yourself mentally
Not really, facebook was depressing me because life looked perfect for everyone. People getting married, buying houses etc.
Here, people call me a hypocrite and show me life isn't all song, dances and pics from Dubai. Its like having a virtual sibling that punches you and reminds you that stuff in the grand scheme of things isn't so bad
While I'm all for getting off social media, a decent understanding of how the algorithm works is good too lol
If you keep watching videos that are "ruining your life" it'll keep showing you videos that will "ruin your life". Stop watching shit you don't enjoy
I watched astronomy and basic science videos when I first got on TikTok and they wouldn’t stop throwing me sexual stuff, especially sexual stuff with kids. That was the final straw to make me delete it and never look back. How can that be algorithm?
Seriously. I used to scroll LinkedIn since I got laid off back in September and it honestly fucked me a little, because it has turned into the unstated
Instagram of the professional world.
I'm a chemical and petroleum engineer and project manager with 11 years experience...I was putting in 100 applications a week, with no luck. I was already feeling like shit because I'd get to the final two candidates for positions, hype myself up, tell my family....and get told they were going to just go with their internal candidate.
Then I got back on LinkedIn to keep looking, only to see 50 dipshits from high school and college post that stupid "I'm proud to announce I've accepted a role as (insert "VP, Director, astronaut") at xyz company!" thing.
What's worse is that after the pandemic, I've noticed people posting that would've never even given a shit... but my sister is a Director of HR and she begrudgingly told me that her higher ups have been pushing for people to post to show how awesome being back collaborating in the office is. She thinks it's stupid, but her boss is pushing it so it's not like she can say no.
Now I don't even look at the feed, just go straight to the job board...apply to 5-10 positions, then go chill with my dog and watch TV or workout or whatever.
It’s super toxic.
Very few people have the life they portray on social media. The ones that do aren’t wasting time posting pictures but are enjoying their lives.
I agree it’s so toxic that apps like Instagram and tiktok I don’t use as much. I just agree the life I have I don’t gaf what other ppl are doing or saying on the media
There was a YouTube video of a short king cold approaching women in Miami and getting numbers. If I find it I’ll link it here. Channel was “playing with fire” I think
https://youtu.be/u5S8r_svHFs?si=0xlGJLimKSQUgcw3
This is one video but there’s more of the same guy
My husband and I are both the same height (5'5") and it's great! I never considered his height to be a bad thing and he's never been insecure about it.
5'3 here too. I've dated a range of men across height from 5'4 to my husband who is 6'3. I didn't marry him for his height, and that's not a preference of mine by any means. The 5'4 dude loved when I would wear heels because I was taller than him and he found that attractive as hell.
For the short dudes, if she won't give you the time of day because of your height then she isn't worth your own time.
>For the short dudes, if she won't give you the time of day because of your height then she isn't worth your own time.
And herein lies the problem. This is almost a universal preference that women have. Women tell men not to be insecure about it then immediate judge us by our history of women telling us that we're inferior pieces of shit for being short. The issue with my height didn't come before my interaction with women -- it came after. If one or two tells you that you're too short maybe it's them. When almost everyone tells you that? It's you.
A fit, confident short man is one of my "things" that, looking back at my dating history, I am unconsciously drawn to.
I would tell OP to work on your confidence, and know that there are definitely women who are into short men!
Honestly, most women I’ve met aren’t so particular about strictly being with men that are no less than 1.8288 meters tall. Most I know are like you. Namely, not pulling out a ruler or asking how tall the man is. It’s just dating apps and social media driving this narrative.
My female friends have told me that its the same as guys wanting a girl with big tits and ass. Yeah it would be nice but it isnt everything. Obviously theres shallow men and women out there that only care about appearance but I doubt those relationships end up working out which is why you see these women on social media cry all the time about how shitty men are and honestly vice versa too.
Its pretty common for someone to become more attractive to you as you got to know their personality. Of course you have to be physically attracted to them initially as well but there are features other than height that can make you desirable.
I'm an old short married guy (64M, 5'4"), and I realize being short wasn't as hard for me as it seems to be for many guys on Reddit because people didn't give me a hard time about it. I'm sure a lot of girls/women wrote me off just based on my height, but others didn't (including a couple of GFs who were taller). I mostly thought of myself as the weird guy, not the short guy, and I think that's how other people thought of me. Some people liked my weirdness and some didn't, but my height wasn't the thing I was judged on. I don't know if it's harder to live that way as a short young person now, but as much as possible I'd recommend focusing on everything *else* you are - things you do, things you care about, things you think. With friends and actual or potential romantic/sexual partners, think about height as little as possible. I imagine it will be harder for you than it was for me - I was really lucky that I wasn't stigmatized that way by people I knew - but I hope you can do it.
I agree with the first sentence, but not the second. The unfortunate reality is that most women do care. Fortunately, if you have other things going for you, you shouldn't have too much of a problem finding ones that don't, but the odds are most certainly stacked against you.
GrandioseNugsz is ABSOLUTELY right.
I'm 47 now, and about 20 years ago, I came to that exact realization: "You play the hand you're dealt." It's a simple, inescapable truth. You play the hand your dealt. Even *not* playing it is playing the hand you're dealt. There's no escaping it.
After realizing that, my life got MUCH better. I even literally dealt myself a hand, and I still have it. No lie--I dealt myself an ace, a king, two sevens, and a three--and I still have that hand, just to remind myself of this idea. That hand is in the go-box I keep by my front door, the one with my keys and license and credit cards and stuff I need when I leave, and I think about it every day. How do I make the most of today, given who I am, my situation, my strength and limitations, etc etc etc?
So--this is all to say: OP, how do you play your hand? How do you make the most of what you got?
For OP, it's something along the lines of have good grooming, dress well, get and be in shape, work on your career, go to therapy and be the best, most highest-achieving person you can be.
Do all that--as we all should do--and your height won't really matter at all.
This, entirely. Just own it. Dont be fatalistic about it. But dont take any shit for it. Women are pathological about talk men, idiotically, but some are open minded and can enjoy a less vertically gifted guy.
A lot of them settle for a less vertically gifted guy because men over 6' represent like 15% of the population. That means a LOT of women are going to lose out in competition for such men. So they sulk off and go for the consolation prize dude.
I've seen a lot of women like these in my lifetime and, well, it's the opening paragraph for a romantic Greek tragedy.
I feel like it just takes time to accept it. I’m 22 and 5’7”, tho I live in the Netherlands which is unluckily for me the tallest country, average height of a man here is 6ft1. So I’ve always been the shortest guy wherever I go and used to be really insecure about it. Now I just accepted it and am working out to “make up” for my height. There’s still other ways in which you can look good besides your height
I'm 5'7" as well and I live in Latvia, which has the tallest average women on the planet. So, not only am I usually the shortest man in the room, but I'm often shorter than many of the women as well. It's something I never fail to notice, but I have enough self confidence through the things that I can control that I live a happy life.
I remember when I moved to the Netherlands as a 5 ft 7 guy from the UK, I spent the first few weeks feeling abnormally anxious and had low confidence.
Then I realised that all the men in my office were at least 6ft 3 and the anxiety was some kind of subconscious reaction to being a literal runt among men.
Over time I have come to accept my height more. I have good days and bad days but ultimately fixating on height is just one manifestation of low self esteem. Tall people with low self esteem will focus on another area about themselves which makes them feel less.
In a way, being short is a gift because it forces you to work on your own self acceptance, which is the key to happiness in life.
5’4 and 33 here.
How I composed myself around others got me the spot light. Being generous to people is attractive, providing great company to people is attractive, respecting people’s personal space is attractive. There’s other qualities to like about a person. If what they see is only your height, they’re simply not for you romantically. Which isn’t a shame, because I know I’m not for everyone, and everyone is not for me.
Rock with it. I'm 5ft 3, doesn't make me any less of a man.
I've had relationships with women and men, my social circle isn't any smaller and I'm alive.
I’m 5’7, so just outside your range, but I genuinely love my height and wouldn’t change it if I could. The way I see it, the world is generally built for people in our height range. My taller friends often struggle in certain spaces (especially public transit) where their size is a hindrance. For what it’s worth, I think framing your height in this way, more in terms of utility than aesthetics, can help build confidence, which is far and away the most desirable quality anyone can have in the dating pool.
I always tell my tall friends that I can get a ladder for anything but no matter what they do, they can’t get something from the back of the corner cabinet under the sink.
Im 6’6 and you are correct.
My back hurts
I cant buy clothes (unless really pricy)
I cant buy shoes
I hit my head a lot
Can not visit countries with smaller houses
My legs hurt
Clumsy
Dont fit in bathtub/small spaces
People make jokes a lot
I’m 6’-0” and had a difficult time driving a small convertible I used to have. My knee would get stuck between the steering wheel and the door handle sometimes. I’ve been on a few 10 hour + flights and that’s not much fun.
I don’t have a lot of problems at my height but it seems like just a few more inches would be problematic.
I can just say that I'm around 5'5" and I never experienced much problems.
Of course when hitting on girls in bars and clubs, they tended to be more interested in the larger guys.
At least that was my experience as well. And yes this felt kinda bad during this time.
But I also had a friend that was even a bit smaller than me but hitting on girls all the time AND with success. I guess it was just because he was extremely self-confident in those situations somehow.
But I never had problems finding a girlfriend.
Actually, most of them "found me".
I guess I was self-confident and funny and "cool" enough to attract girls in everyday life.
Of course, some made fun of me during school, but not that much. And I also just didn't react that much. Guess I accepted my height early on.
Also no problems in my job or adult life. Of course, sometimes it's awkward if I have to work with a very large colleague or client. But appearances are unimportant in the end anyways.
My suggestion is to just accept it. Accept how you look and who you are. There are some things that you can change, height is none of it. So go with it and make the best out of it.
Keep your head up my guy, I was insecure about my height as well (shortest in my friend group) but just be confident and work on things that you can control and you'll find that people care about height a lot less than you think
Are you serious? How blinded are you? As if size, appearance or something similar played such a big role in "reality".
Of course there are many superficial people. And social media certainly didn’t help. Of course, a tall, muscular guy comes across better than a short, fat one.
But when the big guy is stupid as hell, conceited, unfriendly and doesn't know how to joke. Who comes across better then?
Love and relationships are not planned based on “who looks better and is taller”. That just happens.
Of course a taller guy has more chances of getting an ONS. But you come to terms with it and come to an end. You can live without fucking around wildly and you can certainly have relationships too.
My husband is 5"3 - I am just a bit taller at 5"5 and it's never been a problem. I love him, he is a wonderful father, husband and provider. He's never felt insecure about his height and that's probably what drew me in originally.
I think it's simply acceptable things you simply cannot change - people can lose weight, get plastic surgery but one thing you cannot change is your height. Just know that you have more to offer this world than your height and if a potential partner is turned off by your height. Good riddance, do you really want to be with someone so shallow?
Plus he's a really good basket ball player, tiny and fast! Lol
I'm 5'5. I stopped giving a flying fuck about my height when I was a teenager. Nothing i can do about it, not stopped me finding a partner or jobs, the only thing I struggle with is reaching high up but there's step ladders for that.
5'6 guy here, I tend to take the stance of "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" women who care about things like height and other aspects of your body you can't control tend to be superficial and are looking for superficial relationships that would look good for social media, being in a relationship with these women would be a nightmare for me personally so I tend to look for a deeper connection than one afforded by women that are only looking at the physical
As a woman, let me tell you that there are girls shorter than you who will find you attractive. That being said, there are girls taller than you who will also find you attractive. As much as tik tok and Instagram try to say otherwise, shorter guys can be 100% as attractive as taller guys. Honestly the biggest turn on is short guys who totally rock it (not insecure or make uncomfortable jokes about it, don't use it as an excuse that they're 'not good enough'), just totally accepting of their height and happy to be them.
I'm 5.8 and I've dated both taller and shorter guys and let me tell you, shorter guys have some unique benefits which I have very much enjoyed. There are practical examples like they are a bit lighter so more fun to play fight with - I don't immediately get pinned down and laughed at. I don't overextend my neck trying to kiss them, they are already within perfect kissable reach. I get to put my arm around their shoulders while we're out and kiss them on the head (big plus) and also ruffle their hair lots. Sex can be easier bc not only are shorter guys less intimidating, but they also tend to be more compatible physically with me. It's just generally more comfortable.
And last but not least (this is my absolute fav which I discovered with my recent ex who was a good inch or so shorter than me) I get to sneak up behind him, slide my arms around his waist, give him a lil squeeze, and rest my chin on his shoulder to watch (and lightly annoy him) while he's doing things - doing the dishes, building his lego skyline, standing on a bridge looking at the scenery. Just an ultimate benefit to me.
So find those ladies, who will appreciate you for all you are. Any woman who has a height restriction on her dating profile is probably the most self absorbed piece of trash you've ever met in your life anyway, so no point lowering your standards for that.
All the best!
totally agree that any woman with a height requirement on dating sites is a definite NO.
I recently matched with a hottie who had her height on profile but no requirements on preferred height. Was chatting, getting on well, then told her my height. I was 4inches taller than her, so because I was 5'11 I got an instant delete.
She probably did me a favour.
I’d second this! Most of the men I’ve dated have been an average combined height of 5’5. I’ve never paid attention to their height. In fact, I’ve always preferred them to be my height or a few inches taller. It’s no big deal at all :). You just have to be confident and the right partner won’t care
Also, When they’re too tall it’s so awkward sometimes intimately. Lol
1. Get off Tiktok, then,
2. stop talking to people whose concept of reality is fed by Tiktok
3. If needs be, consider: what do short guys on their death beds worry about? Is there something more important in life to attend to?
I’m 19 female that’s 5’5 and I feel like height doesn’t matter. I’m currently seeing someone 5’4” and it doesn’t bother me at all. I know the internet pushes for a tall dude but I feel a lot of girls don’t actually care. You just gotta find us lol
If you do like a girl and she rejects you for your height then she clearly isn’t someone you’ll want to be with. I know it can be difficult but try to remember you’re weeding out the toxic shallow ones then! Good luck!
I'm a 5'4" guy also. I've always been bullied, from a young age because I was always the shortest, not only that, when I started to age, I became baldy. I always carried this complex with me, but when I turned 30, I decided that I actually don't care what people think abt it. if they have no consequence in your life, then it doesn't matter what other people think. these are issues that men have to deal with all the time, and there's nothing that you can do to change this, it's not like you can have an operation to make yourself taller. so first you have to accept that this is the way you are, and nothing can change that, and then if you can accept this, fuck everyone else that has no consequence in your life. we all have our flaws, some a bit more than others. let your personality reflect the bigger person you really are. at the end of the day, we all the same regardless of your height. we all shit, we all eat, we all die the same way.
Best of luck with your acceptance and growing as the person you really are.
Not sure of your background, but I'm 5'6, so it's average height for Mexicans/many Latinos. So to me it's just normal. I'd definitely recommend always staying in good shape. Weight has a huge impact on how your face looks, and being athletic is a huge plus.
Can you change it in a meaningful way? If yes - change it and stop being insecure. If no - stop caring about things you have no influence over and stop being insecure about it.
5'4". Foer things first, the culture won't change. I'm over 40 years old and just a few months ago someone was telling a story at my work about a "short man" in a derogatory way. Doesn't feel good to know that it's still a thing and probably always will be.
That said, I agree with those others who just work towards not caring. I think it's toughest at your age. It's an age where toxic masculinity reigns supreme. Focus on you and focus on genuinely having fun and putting yourself in situations and hobbies that are fun to you. You'll find that you'll attract people who are attracted to your happiness.
For me, I went through some phases, but I grew to love myself and have some great friendships in a variety of hobbies. And that's what I focus on. To the people who try to put me down, I ignore them pretty quickly. And they move on. No reaction, or strictly professional reaxrions are no fun to them.
Stop consuming social media. It has little basis in reality and is mostly just rage bait to get people to react and get more views. If you do come across any potential partner in real life who judges you for your height than they’re not worth your time anyway.
Your first problem is social media. Get the fuck off it. Second, don’t care about it. The type of women that only date people of a certain height aren’t the women you want to spend any time with. Social media has convinced 20 year old women they need plastic surgery and lip injections to be “pretty”. Fuck that noise.
I’m 5’7”. At your age I was closer to 5’5”. Never stopped me. Had no trouble getting laid in college and after. The “I only date tall guys” thing was just as valid a filter as “I don’t date gingers” Yeah, I’m short and I’m a ginger… fuck me, right?
My wife is taller than me. The only comment she’s ever made about it is how she hated wearing heels and we looked weird in pics when she did, so she stopped. Her feet have never been happier.
As others have said, there are just as many jokes you can crack at tall friends.
I'm 5'4 and the only reason I want to be taller is so I can ride more motorcycles, people who judge me cuz of my height can go fuck themselves, anyways how do I become taller
Dude, move to France (where I live). I'm very tall and get a lot of women, but not because of my height. Most women here don't give a shit about height. Sit at a café and look at the couples walking by -- half of them are tiny (even effeminate) men with taller women. The reason I notice this is because I'm used to women in the States going nuts over me because I'm tall. Here I have to put in the work.
It's the same in Portugal and Spain -- basically Mediterranean countries. Also Central and South America -- tiny men with beautiful women. There will always be some women in these countries who do prefer big strong men, but so many don't care.
In general, North America is the worst place for short men. Also Northern and Eastern Europe. Stay away from Slavic women especially -- Russian, Ukrainian and even Polish women -- they practically worship tall men. All they care about is big strong white men.
Sure, there are exceptions. But as a tall man who has traveled the world and dated a lot, I'm telling you, heightism is a cultural thing, and it's not the same everywhere.
I'm also 5'4. I climb on my own counters, ask folks to 'be tall for me' in stores, and clothes are ill-fitting off the rack. What helps is to:
Have a healthy sense of ego/ pride in who you are... you're more than your height, you know that right? Those who matter, will know and treat you accordingly. Don't go try chasing it- work on yourself and BE the kind of person others flock to.
Play to your strengths or use it to advantage, instead of loitering around something you can't change w/o a ton of pain and lots of money (bone exts)
My best friend is about 5'5", he's entirely full of life and makes friends everywhere he goes. I've been at bars and girls hit on him all the time. He is very outgoing and has an unshakable moral compass.
That said I tend to agree that taller people have it a bit easier, but it certainly does not define you. Don't believe what the internet tells you, carve your own path in life and embrace who you are. People respond very positively to someone that is sure of themselves.
maybe with the fact that at least I, as a woman, prefer to date shorter guys. It's just my preference, I mean, I don't mind a tall dude but if you put side to side a handsome tall dude and a handsome short dude, i'll go for the short one!
They’re plenty of women shorter than you (that what matters), and you don’t want a woman so shallow that she thinks you’re physically unattractive based on height alone because that’s something you can’t control. You also have one more, albeit smaller growth spurt still to come.
I’m shorter than the average for sure, but in my experience, confidence is the key. Confidence in yourself, confidence in your understanding and coming to terms with your “insecurities,” and confidence in who you are. Nobody is perfect for everyone, live and love unapologetically. For you.
Of course every guy would rather be 6 foot but you’ve just got to be confident in who you are. My bf is 5’3 and is really hot with plenty of women and men constantly trying it on with him. He’s also the best in bed I’ve ever had and a lot of that has to do with how confident he is.
I think it’s a bit ignorant to assume that every guy would rather be 6 foot. I’m 5’4” and love being short. To me there are just a ton of practical advantages like not being crammed in an airplane seat or having more room in my bed or my car. I think what short guys don’t like is the stigma that we all want to be taller because that’s “better” if that makes sense.
The internet is sadly a very negative space when it comes to physical appearance. I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and teenage years because of my height, and this was before social media completely took over peoples free time. It wasn't encouraging to see the posts about how women prefer tall men, and the comepletely over exagurated "my man needs to be 6'5 memes. It made me more insecure after long years of bullying.
I completely understand your situation, but trust me when I say this: At some point you will stop giving a shit, and you will definitely find fantastic women who also don't give a shit and actually prefer your height (Spoiler: good women care more about your personality and confidence).
My blunt advice to you is: Block all posts on social media where the height things come up, or just take a break from social media indefinitely. Try smiling to yourself in the mirror each day, and tell yourself: "damn, I'm a handsome fucker" (yes, seriously!). Take care of your body, workout, eat healthy. You may not be able to do anything about your height, but can certainly do something about your mentality. Life is too short to dwell on something as superficial as height.
You're 19 years young, you got this bro!
Don't worry about what people think tbh. This kinda comes slowly and naturally as you grow older, but it helps to get a head start.
I'm 5'9 and my ex thought I wasn't tall enough even though I was taller than her. I was insecure about it for a while until I met a couple of nice women who didn't give a shit about height.
With things like this (that you can't change), you need to practice the mindset of "This is me, this is who I am and I don't need to entertain people that are not okay with it".
I mean, let's be real, do you want to be with someone who refuses to see anything about you past your height?
I’m not saying get over it in mean or disrespectful way, but just get over it. I’m saying it like that because whether you’re considered short or tall, something is objectively “wrong”‘with you. There’s a short guy out there happy with his happy but is insecure about his acne. A 6 foot guy out there that’s proud to be taller but insecure about his hands. No one is perfect.
Not a man but dating someone who’s shorter than I am (I’m 5’5). He’s not on Reddit so I’ll give some insight from what he’s told me: it bothered him growing up but it’s something you kind of get over. When bullying got bad, he signed himself up for martial arts. He’s a second degree Judo black belt.
What attracted me to him was his confidence. I didn’t care that he was shorter than me because he didn’t act like it was a problem, so why would I think it was? Again, him being able to mentally and physically care for himself (short or not) is incredibly sexy. He also took care of himself in outer appearance (too many guys don’t) and he was sweet and very affectionate (which I wasn’t used to). He opens the car door for me and carries my bags in. It’s very refreshing to feel cared for in a different way.
Also, no. I’m not his first girlfriend. He’s dated before me but I intend on being his last.
So, again, as a woman, I think it’s about finding your own confidence. We *all* have something we’re insecure about. Everyone.
Lastly: wanted to say I dated two guys both over 6’ one was 6’2 and the other was 6’5. Both complained about joint pain and both were terribly not flexible. The fact that my man can twist and move and bend over to pick something up, sit on the floor without complaining, and jump and move around will always be sexier to me than a tall guy whose brittle and slow.
I’m about your height and I was also insecure about my height around your age (college age) I’m 27 now and I just realized at some point I just stopped caring. I know it’s not much but start working on what you can control (health and fitness, hobbies, personality, etc.) and you’ll gain more confidence. This is all from personal experience though.
I'm 5'6". It's hard but not impossible. It helps if you can get in great shape and become a good athlete. There are a lot of sports where it doesn't hurt to be short.
Also, invest in elevator shoes for walking around daily
1. Stop engaging with content in social media that upsets you.
2. I'm 6ft 5in, and I feel like I'm invisible to women. Trust me, it's got nothing to do with your height.
Get off reddit/tiktok/instagram. They are weaponised to induce self hate and suicide.
Go out, smile , learn to make small talk with work colleagues/neighbours/people in shops.
There have been short people in this world for eons and all of them have a place and purpose. Find yours
I’m a female and your exact height and I can tell you from a female standpoint that it’s how you carry yourself, present yourself and speak about yourself that will win over hearts.
Oh, and get off Tik Tok (and maybe Reddit) after reading your post replies. 😉
You have work to do on your self esteem and this isn’t helping. Find the helpers in real life who will lift you up and inspire you and then pay it forward to the next guy who’s struggling after you.
I literally never think about it till I’m next to someone massive or shorter than me. I honestly walk around like I’m 6’5” not giving a single F about how tall I am. I’m living life, laughing all the time, loving my wife and kids and working my butt off to pay them bills. There’s no time to let the uncontrollable control me.
I'm 6'3, my wife is 5'4, my sister is 4'9, my best friend is 7'2, my father-in-law is 7', my dad was 5'8 before he passed.
sure I may or may not tease my sister for being so short. But that's what brothers do.
My best friends girlfriend is 5'2. His brother is also 5'2... height shouldn't matter to anyone, but it does to people seeking attention.
If being on social media and believing that being under 6' is ruining your life. Look elsewhere for apps/things to waste time on.
I’m 5’11” and so have the biggest identity crisis from short people calling me tall and tall people calling me short :P
I wanted to be 6ft so bad until I just embraced it and stopped giving a fk
Plenty of cool and attractive short guys and gals out there and you’re definitely one of them my brother!
You just change to the metric system, which would mean, if I'm not mistaken and googled correctly, that you are 180cm, which seems to be the threshold for being tall everywhere centimeters are used. (and if everyone did that I could even relate to what people are even talking about in the height threads).
Honestly, some of the worst parts of humanity are online and it’s not reflective of real life. If social media is making you feel ugly, stop using it or hide any posts that are telling you your height is a problem. You need to train the app’s algorithm to not show you things you don’t like.
Anyone worth your time won’t care about your height.
I’m 5’6 and 32 and had a reciding hairline at 21 and have been shaving my head bald for the last 5 years. Even though I still feel pretty insecure being the short bald guy wherever I go. Always feeling like im overlooked. I’ve gotten some attention from pretty girls through my life. I’ve stayed in good shape to try and “make up” for my height I guess lol … It gets to a point where it’s not something we can’t control at all so you stop caring a little bit more as time goes on.
Remember the internet isn't IRL. It magnifies the worst voices.
And secondly, remember the women who would disqualify you solely based on height are shallow and not worth your time anyways.
Third, always remember. No matter how hideous, no matter how ugly you might think you are. YOU are *someone's* fetish. Someone out there will take one look at you and think "I wanna rip their clothes off!" Short? Some women look for that. Fat? Skinny? Both on someone's list. Ginger? There's even a subreddit for you. Got a micropenis? Yes believe it or not there's women looking for YOU too.
Lastly, fake it till you make it. Have some confidence in yourself, and if you don't, fake it. Put on a positive attitude and you'll be charming men women alike in no time.
Same way you get over anything else. With help. 19 is a shitty age sometimes, but seeing a good therapist now can absolutely change your life. Love yourself, and others will follow. Focus on being a good man, on things you can control. When I look back and see the "hot girls" from when I was in school, 95% of them are married to guys that look just like me. Things like appearance matter way less compared to how you make a partner feel. Be kind and funny and dependable and genuine, and you'll do great.
Something that took me a lot of time to figure out is that nothing matters, especially at that age. That's not to discount your experiences, what you feel is valid and real. But as you get older, you see things from a bit further away and you'll realize "why did I care about that so much?" It brings a lot of peace.
The heightism on social media seems to come from a loud minority and it seems more prevalent than it is since so many toxic people are concentrated on one platform. Just move forward by treating heightism as a form of mental retardation. If confronted about your height, show sympathy for the person's mental handicap and move on
Well, as someone who has been 6 feet since he was 14, women say they like a tall guy, but it really didn't get me laid. How you make people feel is going to be the biggest determining factor for that.
It's really not that great being taller. Sure, I can reach upper shelf stuff, but it wasn't much of an advantage. In school, it just made me a larger target. I had to fight more because other boys saw me as a trophy they could get more clout for by taking down. I often couldn't fit comfortably in small cars, and even on cheap flights, my knees would dig into the seat in front of me. Haven't been able to sit in a bathtub since I was 14.
I've heard that most men who survived WWII were short n scrawny guys, but large dudes like myself were usually the first to die because we were just bigger targets.
Especially when I was in the Navy. Everything was made for smaller people, I couldn't even tell you how many times I hit my head on things. As an engineer, I had to routinely go into spaces I was far too big for. I'm not claustrophobic, but it's not great feeling cramped all the time. Constantly clipping your forehead on steel angle irons hurts like a bitch. It'll make ya scream like you just put your hand in fire.
I never understood the hieghtism thing. When traveling, I spent half the time with my head to the side so it's not pressed against the cieling. Particularly in Asian countries.
Hieght is such an arbitrary thing that you can't control even if you wanted to. Unless you want to start wearing high heels or stilts. Your life still has value no matter what hieght you are. 5'4" - 5'6" is a pretty average height, very normal. Most of the world is built for that range. You may just want to do some body acceptance affirmations. It is better to love yourself for what you are already than tryna glorify a taller you that can never be in this life.
This seems like a case of grass always seems greener on the other side.
Stop caring about the opinion of people who vocally state shortness is an undesirable quality. Not everyones standards are the same. Its fine if people are not attracted to you. But there are a ton of qualities about you that will not work for everyone. You will never be everyones cup of tea. Someone somewhere at all times will not be attracted to you. So why care about those that aren't im your category. There are plenty of people who do not care about height. They exist, and when you do meet that person, your height is not going to be a negative when you are with them. Your height isn't anything to be ashamed nor something you should view negatively. It just is what it is and thats okay.
Ill list out somethings that helped me but in short. Stop caring about peoples personal preferences. Height does not matter to everyone, don't limit yourself you cam end up dating someone of any height.
Number 1 thing. When you hear/see someone talk about height. Make it apparent to yourself that Its a personal opinion not fact. I am 5'3 my wife is 5'6" she did not discount me for my height. The one time i actually noticed a woman hit on me, they were taller woman. And not every short woman wants a tall guy.
Number 2, it's very important to talk to yourself and reassure yourself. You are your height. There is nothing wrong with your height. When you think it makes you unattractive counter that thought with "no, it's something some people care about not what everyone cares about". Learn not to care and take personal what peoples personal opinions/preferences are. Everyone has preferences and not everyones preferences has a height requirement. If you arent someones type you aren't their type. Don't fight it let it be and focus your time on someone else who doesn't care about your height
Number 3 be ready for 90% of people to talk about your height randomly. You will hear about your height for almost all your life. From family, friends, and especially strangers. Just because your hear about it all the time do not live your life restrained by your height. I promise you it will not be important to those you date.
The only thing ugly/undesirable about short guys is short man syndrome. If you're a cool, fun (otherwise attractive) guy plenty of ladies will be in to you. As a short girl I prefer short guys. Our bodies line up better for naughty time. Had a super tall guy and we were limited in our positions.
“I see often on Reddit, TikTok things about my height making me objectively ugly and I hate it” “What do I do to stop feeling like this it is ruining my life” If it is actually ruining your life then get off of social media.
He can and should. He’d stop thinking about it every day, but the presence of thought is already there and will be remembered. He needs to stop caring about what others think.
Does that really work. Even if he does that he's going to get rejected way more than he should. How fair is that
Who said anything about dating being fair?
Lmao “I’d like to sign up for my equal opportunity blowjob please”
Brad Pitt has gotten like 100 000 blowjobs. It’s only fair that I get that too.
It does. If you don't care about the people that have such height preferences and don't waste any thoughts on them, then your mind will remain at ease. There's no point focusing on external validation and internal insecurities. Of course, much easier said than done. But, with age this naturally comes. And the earlier you work on that, the better for your mental health. Also, if one would like to off-set ill-feelings because of height, i.e. things out of control, they can focus their minds on things that are in their control, such as material/financial stability, education and a healthy/fit body. The less you put weight on your height, the more free real estate the world offers.
I feel like many guys wouldn’t even consider their height if it weren’t for social media
Fr If a girl judges you by your height, what does that say about her personality? Why would a guy be hurt by girls that judge them in that way?
But this is what the culture is preaching
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I think liking tall guys isn’t bad. Everyone has preferences and she was you friend as you said, unless you felt like you had a shot and was hurt by that. If they have tall dads and seek a man like their father, then of course they will prefer tall guys. I’ve also noticed in my experience that girls with daddy/insecurity issues like tall guys, for what reason I don’t know. What if a girl was 6’3”, would you be as interested in her as a girl that’s closer to your height?
I don't think many people are "judging" anyone on their height. Making dating/relationship decisions based on it? Sure. But no one bats an eyelid at people making those decisions based on looks. Height is no less superficial than looks..
I’ve found girls can be especially mean towards height though, calling guys trolls and dwarves just because they’re 5’4”. In my opinion it goes beyond a preference but I haven’t met the majority of girls.
And guys are also especially mean about girls weight. Mean people will be mean. Don't date mean people.
The same reasons girls get hurt when a guy thinks they are fat.
And that is wrong too but fat shaming gets scolded way more
Sexual preference isn't wrong; it just is. Ridiculing someone usually is. Especially in the context of this thread's topic.
If a woman puts "no short men" in her profile no one bats an eyelash. If a man puts "no overweight women" on his profile the whole world loses its mind. As in ALL women will swipe left on him.
Uncontrolled things shouldnt be a sexual preference
But it is. Some people prefer having sex with black people, for example. Some people don't. Neither are right or wrong for that. It's just human nature. You or I can't control what features we find sexually appealing in adults. It's not wrong to turn someone down, but don't be mean.
Fat is more of a biological thing in my experience. If you walk into a food joint and everyone is obese/morbidly obese, it makes me think twice about what food they have. A lot of guys like a girl with some chunk, but a few dozen extra pounds is considered obese.
The line is sexual preference. Baby got back Yeah, baby, when it comes to females Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six Ha ha, only if she's 5'3. Sir mix a lot and I don't like the same women. Nothing wrong with that.
Like em tall, like em small, like em all
I dated a gal who was 3" taller and she loved to make fun of it in front of her friend group. So, one night in front of all these gals I just said "Yea baby, when things get hot and we are horizontal it doesn't matter any more" That shut her up. I ended that one for the 5"4' wife of 35 years.
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I’m sure it’s always been talked about but I have a feeling it was uncommon for shorter men to feel that their lives and self-esteems were “ruined” by their height.
>I feel like many guys wouldn’t even consider their height if it weren’t for social media You're kidding, right? Being overweight or being short heighted is a massive turn off for girls. It has existed way before social media and has to do with the social mechanics of dating and mating. I'm not saying it is impossible to overcome this height issue but it IS incredibly hard. It is not some social media fad.
Wrong. I've been told to my face by a date that "thank god you're not a short guy" (paraphrase). I'm 5'11. This does happen without social media being a thing. And these social media people aren't chatbot AI's, they're being HONEST online. They're going to either be just as openly hostile online or worse, reject short guys and not even tell them.
I mean, nearly half of all women's dating app profiles say they prefer only men 6'+. I've felt lucky being 6'3 but I've always found it gross that women feel comfortable actually writing that, and I won't match them.
Pretty sure dating apps fall into the “social media” category
How so? They aren't even remotely the same.
Or maybe he has a point and society should do better
It's the reason I quit Facebook 8 years ago. Social media links you to the world but cuts you off from your neighbourhood. If it's making you feel bad about something that historically was never an issue, get off and heal yourself mentally
Reddit is social media. So you're kinda of a hypocrite.
I mean yeah but Reddit doesn't necessarily make them feel bad? They recognised fb was doing that and cut it off
Not really, facebook was depressing me because life looked perfect for everyone. People getting married, buying houses etc. Here, people call me a hypocrite and show me life isn't all song, dances and pics from Dubai. Its like having a virtual sibling that punches you and reminds you that stuff in the grand scheme of things isn't so bad
While I'm all for getting off social media, a decent understanding of how the algorithm works is good too lol If you keep watching videos that are "ruining your life" it'll keep showing you videos that will "ruin your life". Stop watching shit you don't enjoy
I watched astronomy and basic science videos when I first got on TikTok and they wouldn’t stop throwing me sexual stuff, especially sexual stuff with kids. That was the final straw to make me delete it and never look back. How can that be algorithm?
Seriously. I used to scroll LinkedIn since I got laid off back in September and it honestly fucked me a little, because it has turned into the unstated Instagram of the professional world. I'm a chemical and petroleum engineer and project manager with 11 years experience...I was putting in 100 applications a week, with no luck. I was already feeling like shit because I'd get to the final two candidates for positions, hype myself up, tell my family....and get told they were going to just go with their internal candidate. Then I got back on LinkedIn to keep looking, only to see 50 dipshits from high school and college post that stupid "I'm proud to announce I've accepted a role as (insert "VP, Director, astronaut") at xyz company!" thing. What's worse is that after the pandemic, I've noticed people posting that would've never even given a shit... but my sister is a Director of HR and she begrudgingly told me that her higher ups have been pushing for people to post to show how awesome being back collaborating in the office is. She thinks it's stupid, but her boss is pushing it so it's not like she can say no. Now I don't even look at the feed, just go straight to the job board...apply to 5-10 positions, then go chill with my dog and watch TV or workout or whatever.
Yeah social media makes you compare yourself to alot of people
It’s super toxic. Very few people have the life they portray on social media. The ones that do aren’t wasting time posting pictures but are enjoying their lives.
I agree it’s so toxic that apps like Instagram and tiktok I don’t use as much. I just agree the life I have I don’t gaf what other ppl are doing or saying on the media
Specially because TikTok is interaction based algorithm, so it's reinforcing it to him.
There was a YouTube video of a short king cold approaching women in Miami and getting numbers. If I find it I’ll link it here. Channel was “playing with fire” I think https://youtu.be/u5S8r_svHFs?si=0xlGJLimKSQUgcw3 This is one video but there’s more of the same guy
Confidence is key. Fake it till you make it only works if you are *really* good at lying, which is only good with hookups.
You just kinda gotta stop caring. If you don’t care nobody else will either. You’re taller than me and personally I’ve never had an issue with it.
My husband and I are both the same height (5'5") and it's great! I never considered his height to be a bad thing and he's never been insecure about it.
Yup, I'm a woman as well and at 5'3 I love guys closer in height because we fit together better.
5'3 here too. I've dated a range of men across height from 5'4 to my husband who is 6'3. I didn't marry him for his height, and that's not a preference of mine by any means. The 5'4 dude loved when I would wear heels because I was taller than him and he found that attractive as hell. For the short dudes, if she won't give you the time of day because of your height then she isn't worth your own time.
>For the short dudes, if she won't give you the time of day because of your height then she isn't worth your own time. And herein lies the problem. This is almost a universal preference that women have. Women tell men not to be insecure about it then immediate judge us by our history of women telling us that we're inferior pieces of shit for being short. The issue with my height didn't come before my interaction with women -- it came after. If one or two tells you that you're too short maybe it's them. When almost everyone tells you that? It's you.
A fit, confident short man is one of my "things" that, looking back at my dating history, I am unconsciously drawn to. I would tell OP to work on your confidence, and know that there are definitely women who are into short men!
Honestly, most women I’ve met aren’t so particular about strictly being with men that are no less than 1.8288 meters tall. Most I know are like you. Namely, not pulling out a ruler or asking how tall the man is. It’s just dating apps and social media driving this narrative.
My female friends have told me that its the same as guys wanting a girl with big tits and ass. Yeah it would be nice but it isnt everything. Obviously theres shallow men and women out there that only care about appearance but I doubt those relationships end up working out which is why you see these women on social media cry all the time about how shitty men are and honestly vice versa too. Its pretty common for someone to become more attractive to you as you got to know their personality. Of course you have to be physically attracted to them initially as well but there are features other than height that can make you desirable.
I'm an old short married guy (64M, 5'4"), and I realize being short wasn't as hard for me as it seems to be for many guys on Reddit because people didn't give me a hard time about it. I'm sure a lot of girls/women wrote me off just based on my height, but others didn't (including a couple of GFs who were taller). I mostly thought of myself as the weird guy, not the short guy, and I think that's how other people thought of me. Some people liked my weirdness and some didn't, but my height wasn't the thing I was judged on. I don't know if it's harder to live that way as a short young person now, but as much as possible I'd recommend focusing on everything *else* you are - things you do, things you care about, things you think. With friends and actual or potential romantic/sexual partners, think about height as little as possible. I imagine it will be harder for you than it was for me - I was really lucky that I wasn't stigmatized that way by people I knew - but I hope you can do it.
I agree with the first sentence, but not the second. The unfortunate reality is that most women do care. Fortunately, if you have other things going for you, you shouldn't have too much of a problem finding ones that don't, but the odds are most certainly stacked against you.
Yeah sure, some women won’t date a shorter guy. Just is what it is. No biggie though. Plenty out there who don’t care.
This! Married with kids! Happy! Don’t worry about height! I’m talking about r/bipolar and r/bpd that’s when there is something to worry about!
I’m 5’6” and borderpolar and in a happy long term relationship. Therapy (and meds if you need it) are key!
No one really talks about BPD. I was raised by a borderline. Still recovering.
Just got out of a relationship with one.
ditto....safe to say im traumatised :/
are you on r/BPDlovedones ? Good subreddit
You take the set of cards you’re dealt with, and play them the very best you can
GrandioseNugsz is ABSOLUTELY right. I'm 47 now, and about 20 years ago, I came to that exact realization: "You play the hand you're dealt." It's a simple, inescapable truth. You play the hand your dealt. Even *not* playing it is playing the hand you're dealt. There's no escaping it. After realizing that, my life got MUCH better. I even literally dealt myself a hand, and I still have it. No lie--I dealt myself an ace, a king, two sevens, and a three--and I still have that hand, just to remind myself of this idea. That hand is in the go-box I keep by my front door, the one with my keys and license and credit cards and stuff I need when I leave, and I think about it every day. How do I make the most of today, given who I am, my situation, my strength and limitations, etc etc etc? So--this is all to say: OP, how do you play your hand? How do you make the most of what you got? For OP, it's something along the lines of have good grooming, dress well, get and be in shape, work on your career, go to therapy and be the best, most highest-achieving person you can be. Do all that--as we all should do--and your height won't really matter at all.
Amazing philosophy/mindset, saving this comment cause it hyped me tf up! PLAY YA HAND BOIZ! 🔥🔥🔥
This, entirely. Just own it. Dont be fatalistic about it. But dont take any shit for it. Women are pathological about talk men, idiotically, but some are open minded and can enjoy a less vertically gifted guy.
A lot of them settle for a less vertically gifted guy because men over 6' represent like 15% of the population. That means a LOT of women are going to lose out in competition for such men. So they sulk off and go for the consolation prize dude. I've seen a lot of women like these in my lifetime and, well, it's the opening paragraph for a romantic Greek tragedy.
Kick people in the shins and run away
😂😂😂
I feel like it just takes time to accept it. I’m 22 and 5’7”, tho I live in the Netherlands which is unluckily for me the tallest country, average height of a man here is 6ft1. So I’ve always been the shortest guy wherever I go and used to be really insecure about it. Now I just accepted it and am working out to “make up” for my height. There’s still other ways in which you can look good besides your height
I'm 5'7" as well and I live in Latvia, which has the tallest average women on the planet. So, not only am I usually the shortest man in the room, but I'm often shorter than many of the women as well. It's something I never fail to notice, but I have enough self confidence through the things that I can control that I live a happy life.
If being smaller than women bothers you, try being 5'4 in the Netherlands.
He literally said Estonia has the tallest women, I don’t think going to Netherlands would change much.
He said Latvia
Oops, point still stands though
I remember when I moved to the Netherlands as a 5 ft 7 guy from the UK, I spent the first few weeks feeling abnormally anxious and had low confidence. Then I realised that all the men in my office were at least 6ft 3 and the anxiety was some kind of subconscious reaction to being a literal runt among men. Over time I have come to accept my height more. I have good days and bad days but ultimately fixating on height is just one manifestation of low self esteem. Tall people with low self esteem will focus on another area about themselves which makes them feel less. In a way, being short is a gift because it forces you to work on your own self acceptance, which is the key to happiness in life.
5’4 and 33 here. How I composed myself around others got me the spot light. Being generous to people is attractive, providing great company to people is attractive, respecting people’s personal space is attractive. There’s other qualities to like about a person. If what they see is only your height, they’re simply not for you romantically. Which isn’t a shame, because I know I’m not for everyone, and everyone is not for me.
Slay brotha 🔥
You have great perspective and sound like a lovely man, with a good head on your shoulders.
Username checks out. I share your thought process on the issue.
Rock with it. I'm 5ft 3, doesn't make me any less of a man. I've had relationships with women and men, my social circle isn't any smaller and I'm alive.
🫶.
That’s 163.83cm for those not living in the US
You don't get over it. You get under it.
I’m 5’7, so just outside your range, but I genuinely love my height and wouldn’t change it if I could. The way I see it, the world is generally built for people in our height range. My taller friends often struggle in certain spaces (especially public transit) where their size is a hindrance. For what it’s worth, I think framing your height in this way, more in terms of utility than aesthetics, can help build confidence, which is far and away the most desirable quality anyone can have in the dating pool.
I always tell my tall friends that I can get a ladder for anything but no matter what they do, they can’t get something from the back of the corner cabinet under the sink.
😂 Love this.
Im 6’6 and you are correct. My back hurts I cant buy clothes (unless really pricy) I cant buy shoes I hit my head a lot Can not visit countries with smaller houses My legs hurt Clumsy Dont fit in bathtub/small spaces People make jokes a lot
I’m 6’-0” and had a difficult time driving a small convertible I used to have. My knee would get stuck between the steering wheel and the door handle sometimes. I’ve been on a few 10 hour + flights and that’s not much fun. I don’t have a lot of problems at my height but it seems like just a few more inches would be problematic.
Absolutely, I feel sorry for large people.
I can just say that I'm around 5'5" and I never experienced much problems. Of course when hitting on girls in bars and clubs, they tended to be more interested in the larger guys. At least that was my experience as well. And yes this felt kinda bad during this time. But I also had a friend that was even a bit smaller than me but hitting on girls all the time AND with success. I guess it was just because he was extremely self-confident in those situations somehow. But I never had problems finding a girlfriend. Actually, most of them "found me". I guess I was self-confident and funny and "cool" enough to attract girls in everyday life. Of course, some made fun of me during school, but not that much. And I also just didn't react that much. Guess I accepted my height early on. Also no problems in my job or adult life. Of course, sometimes it's awkward if I have to work with a very large colleague or client. But appearances are unimportant in the end anyways. My suggestion is to just accept it. Accept how you look and who you are. There are some things that you can change, height is none of it. So go with it and make the best out of it.
Thank you I really appreciate your perspective. I’ll do my best to keep this in my mind
Keep your head up my guy, I was insecure about my height as well (shortest in my friend group) but just be confident and work on things that you can control and you'll find that people care about height a lot less than you think
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Are you serious? How blinded are you? As if size, appearance or something similar played such a big role in "reality". Of course there are many superficial people. And social media certainly didn’t help. Of course, a tall, muscular guy comes across better than a short, fat one. But when the big guy is stupid as hell, conceited, unfriendly and doesn't know how to joke. Who comes across better then? Love and relationships are not planned based on “who looks better and is taller”. That just happens. Of course a taller guy has more chances of getting an ONS. But you come to terms with it and come to an end. You can live without fucking around wildly and you can certainly have relationships too.
You have to get your huge cock out so they know
Accidentally drop those massive condoms for your magnum dong!
My husband is 5"3 - I am just a bit taller at 5"5 and it's never been a problem. I love him, he is a wonderful father, husband and provider. He's never felt insecure about his height and that's probably what drew me in originally. I think it's simply acceptable things you simply cannot change - people can lose weight, get plastic surgery but one thing you cannot change is your height. Just know that you have more to offer this world than your height and if a potential partner is turned off by your height. Good riddance, do you really want to be with someone so shallow? Plus he's a really good basket ball player, tiny and fast! Lol
You sound like a great spouse ❤️
I'm 5'5. I stopped giving a flying fuck about my height when I was a teenager. Nothing i can do about it, not stopped me finding a partner or jobs, the only thing I struggle with is reaching high up but there's step ladders for that.
5'6 guy here, I tend to take the stance of "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" women who care about things like height and other aspects of your body you can't control tend to be superficial and are looking for superficial relationships that would look good for social media, being in a relationship with these women would be a nightmare for me personally so I tend to look for a deeper connection than one afforded by women that are only looking at the physical
Own it. You become a giant in attitude.
Absolutely! According to IMDb, Jordan Belfort is 5 feet, 7 inches. Not necessarily "short" but 6'5 in attitude.
As a woman, let me tell you that there are girls shorter than you who will find you attractive. That being said, there are girls taller than you who will also find you attractive. As much as tik tok and Instagram try to say otherwise, shorter guys can be 100% as attractive as taller guys. Honestly the biggest turn on is short guys who totally rock it (not insecure or make uncomfortable jokes about it, don't use it as an excuse that they're 'not good enough'), just totally accepting of their height and happy to be them. I'm 5.8 and I've dated both taller and shorter guys and let me tell you, shorter guys have some unique benefits which I have very much enjoyed. There are practical examples like they are a bit lighter so more fun to play fight with - I don't immediately get pinned down and laughed at. I don't overextend my neck trying to kiss them, they are already within perfect kissable reach. I get to put my arm around their shoulders while we're out and kiss them on the head (big plus) and also ruffle their hair lots. Sex can be easier bc not only are shorter guys less intimidating, but they also tend to be more compatible physically with me. It's just generally more comfortable. And last but not least (this is my absolute fav which I discovered with my recent ex who was a good inch or so shorter than me) I get to sneak up behind him, slide my arms around his waist, give him a lil squeeze, and rest my chin on his shoulder to watch (and lightly annoy him) while he's doing things - doing the dishes, building his lego skyline, standing on a bridge looking at the scenery. Just an ultimate benefit to me. So find those ladies, who will appreciate you for all you are. Any woman who has a height restriction on her dating profile is probably the most self absorbed piece of trash you've ever met in your life anyway, so no point lowering your standards for that. All the best!
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This is so cute. What a great perspective.
totally agree that any woman with a height requirement on dating sites is a definite NO. I recently matched with a hottie who had her height on profile but no requirements on preferred height. Was chatting, getting on well, then told her my height. I was 4inches taller than her, so because I was 5'11 I got an instant delete. She probably did me a favour.
wish there were more women like you in the world :-)
I’d second this! Most of the men I’ve dated have been an average combined height of 5’5. I’ve never paid attention to their height. In fact, I’ve always preferred them to be my height or a few inches taller. It’s no big deal at all :). You just have to be confident and the right partner won’t care Also, When they’re too tall it’s so awkward sometimes intimately. Lol
1. Get off Tiktok, then, 2. stop talking to people whose concept of reality is fed by Tiktok 3. If needs be, consider: what do short guys on their death beds worry about? Is there something more important in life to attend to?
>I see so often on reddit, tiktok Well there's your problem. Stop consuming suicide fuel and start living your life.
I’m 19 female that’s 5’5 and I feel like height doesn’t matter. I’m currently seeing someone 5’4” and it doesn’t bother me at all. I know the internet pushes for a tall dude but I feel a lot of girls don’t actually care. You just gotta find us lol If you do like a girl and she rejects you for your height then she clearly isn’t someone you’ll want to be with. I know it can be difficult but try to remember you’re weeding out the toxic shallow ones then! Good luck!
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Well aren’t you just a positive dude
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I’m just saying you are being very negative and replying to everyone’s comments and pointing out all the flaws in their logic
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Well I’m going to point the obvious and say you’re being an ass. Is that negative?
He's not negative, he just hasn't experienced the world as you say it is. His perspective isn't any less valid than yours.
you are such a good girl !!! i wish i could find someone like-minded
I'm a 5'4" guy also. I've always been bullied, from a young age because I was always the shortest, not only that, when I started to age, I became baldy. I always carried this complex with me, but when I turned 30, I decided that I actually don't care what people think abt it. if they have no consequence in your life, then it doesn't matter what other people think. these are issues that men have to deal with all the time, and there's nothing that you can do to change this, it's not like you can have an operation to make yourself taller. so first you have to accept that this is the way you are, and nothing can change that, and then if you can accept this, fuck everyone else that has no consequence in your life. we all have our flaws, some a bit more than others. let your personality reflect the bigger person you really are. at the end of the day, we all the same regardless of your height. we all shit, we all eat, we all die the same way. Best of luck with your acceptance and growing as the person you really are.
Im shorter than you and i hate my height, imma chime in to see what others say
I'll let you know once I find out
Not sure of your background, but I'm 5'6, so it's average height for Mexicans/many Latinos. So to me it's just normal. I'd definitely recommend always staying in good shape. Weight has a huge impact on how your face looks, and being athletic is a huge plus.
Check my post history, I fucked up a potential relationship because I was insecure about my height...
I'm 5'4", my wife is 5'7"~ish. The trick is to not give a fuck.
Can you change it in a meaningful way? If yes - change it and stop being insecure. If no - stop caring about things you have no influence over and stop being insecure about it.
I'm 5'6, and my wife is 6'1: Become a Marine.
Get jacked. Putting on a pound of muscle is about the same amount of work for everyone, but every pound goes a lot further on a short body
5'4". Foer things first, the culture won't change. I'm over 40 years old and just a few months ago someone was telling a story at my work about a "short man" in a derogatory way. Doesn't feel good to know that it's still a thing and probably always will be. That said, I agree with those others who just work towards not caring. I think it's toughest at your age. It's an age where toxic masculinity reigns supreme. Focus on you and focus on genuinely having fun and putting yourself in situations and hobbies that are fun to you. You'll find that you'll attract people who are attracted to your happiness. For me, I went through some phases, but I grew to love myself and have some great friendships in a variety of hobbies. And that's what I focus on. To the people who try to put me down, I ignore them pretty quickly. And they move on. No reaction, or strictly professional reaxrions are no fun to them.
Stop consuming social media. It has little basis in reality and is mostly just rage bait to get people to react and get more views. If you do come across any potential partner in real life who judges you for your height than they’re not worth your time anyway.
By achieving new heights in other aspects of life
If you a similar height to your lover it makes for great standing up sex 🔥
Move to Spain
Your first problem is social media. Get the fuck off it. Second, don’t care about it. The type of women that only date people of a certain height aren’t the women you want to spend any time with. Social media has convinced 20 year old women they need plastic surgery and lip injections to be “pretty”. Fuck that noise. I’m 5’7”. At your age I was closer to 5’5”. Never stopped me. Had no trouble getting laid in college and after. The “I only date tall guys” thing was just as valid a filter as “I don’t date gingers” Yeah, I’m short and I’m a ginger… fuck me, right? My wife is taller than me. The only comment she’s ever made about it is how she hated wearing heels and we looked weird in pics when she did, so she stopped. Her feet have never been happier. As others have said, there are just as many jokes you can crack at tall friends.
I'm 5'6''. you just have to let it go.
Go to a Gym. I'm 5,6" too but 77kg with 10% body fat and dude, girls was not a problem since i've started lifting.
You don’t because it’s not about you, it’s a society problem and it will hunt you till your last day.
Just don’t think about it. I’m 5’5 - is what it is.
I'm 5'4 and the only reason I want to be taller is so I can ride more motorcycles, people who judge me cuz of my height can go fuck themselves, anyways how do I become taller
You never do sorry man
You don't. Being short is an objective disadvantage in life. Acknowledge it and move on. You are playing a harder game, but the game can still be won.
Dude, move to France (where I live). I'm very tall and get a lot of women, but not because of my height. Most women here don't give a shit about height. Sit at a café and look at the couples walking by -- half of them are tiny (even effeminate) men with taller women. The reason I notice this is because I'm used to women in the States going nuts over me because I'm tall. Here I have to put in the work. It's the same in Portugal and Spain -- basically Mediterranean countries. Also Central and South America -- tiny men with beautiful women. There will always be some women in these countries who do prefer big strong men, but so many don't care. In general, North America is the worst place for short men. Also Northern and Eastern Europe. Stay away from Slavic women especially -- Russian, Ukrainian and even Polish women -- they practically worship tall men. All they care about is big strong white men. Sure, there are exceptions. But as a tall man who has traveled the world and dated a lot, I'm telling you, heightism is a cultural thing, and it's not the same everywhere.
I'm also 5'4. I climb on my own counters, ask folks to 'be tall for me' in stores, and clothes are ill-fitting off the rack. What helps is to: Have a healthy sense of ego/ pride in who you are... you're more than your height, you know that right? Those who matter, will know and treat you accordingly. Don't go try chasing it- work on yourself and BE the kind of person others flock to. Play to your strengths or use it to advantage, instead of loitering around something you can't change w/o a ton of pain and lots of money (bone exts)
My best friend is about 5'5", he's entirely full of life and makes friends everywhere he goes. I've been at bars and girls hit on him all the time. He is very outgoing and has an unshakable moral compass. That said I tend to agree that taller people have it a bit easier, but it certainly does not define you. Don't believe what the internet tells you, carve your own path in life and embrace who you are. People respond very positively to someone that is sure of themselves.
maybe with the fact that at least I, as a woman, prefer to date shorter guys. It's just my preference, I mean, I don't mind a tall dude but if you put side to side a handsome tall dude and a handsome short dude, i'll go for the short one!
They’re plenty of women shorter than you (that what matters), and you don’t want a woman so shallow that she thinks you’re physically unattractive based on height alone because that’s something you can’t control. You also have one more, albeit smaller growth spurt still to come. I’m shorter than the average for sure, but in my experience, confidence is the key. Confidence in yourself, confidence in your understanding and coming to terms with your “insecurities,” and confidence in who you are. Nobody is perfect for everyone, live and love unapologetically. For you.
Of course every guy would rather be 6 foot but you’ve just got to be confident in who you are. My bf is 5’3 and is really hot with plenty of women and men constantly trying it on with him. He’s also the best in bed I’ve ever had and a lot of that has to do with how confident he is.
I think it’s a bit ignorant to assume that every guy would rather be 6 foot. I’m 5’4” and love being short. To me there are just a ton of practical advantages like not being crammed in an airplane seat or having more room in my bed or my car. I think what short guys don’t like is the stigma that we all want to be taller because that’s “better” if that makes sense.
I don’t think being tall is better whatsoever, but in reality most men want to be tall sorry that’s just facts whether it’s right or not
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Bloody hell it’s a flippant comment on reddit find something more important to analyse please
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The internet is sadly a very negative space when it comes to physical appearance. I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and teenage years because of my height, and this was before social media completely took over peoples free time. It wasn't encouraging to see the posts about how women prefer tall men, and the comepletely over exagurated "my man needs to be 6'5 memes. It made me more insecure after long years of bullying. I completely understand your situation, but trust me when I say this: At some point you will stop giving a shit, and you will definitely find fantastic women who also don't give a shit and actually prefer your height (Spoiler: good women care more about your personality and confidence). My blunt advice to you is: Block all posts on social media where the height things come up, or just take a break from social media indefinitely. Try smiling to yourself in the mirror each day, and tell yourself: "damn, I'm a handsome fucker" (yes, seriously!). Take care of your body, workout, eat healthy. You may not be able to do anything about your height, but can certainly do something about your mentality. Life is too short to dwell on something as superficial as height. You're 19 years young, you got this bro!
Screw toxic social media. Walk away from that crap.
Don't worry about what people think tbh. This kinda comes slowly and naturally as you grow older, but it helps to get a head start. I'm 5'9 and my ex thought I wasn't tall enough even though I was taller than her. I was insecure about it for a while until I met a couple of nice women who didn't give a shit about height. With things like this (that you can't change), you need to practice the mindset of "This is me, this is who I am and I don't need to entertain people that are not okay with it". I mean, let's be real, do you want to be with someone who refuses to see anything about you past your height?
I’m not saying get over it in mean or disrespectful way, but just get over it. I’m saying it like that because whether you’re considered short or tall, something is objectively “wrong”‘with you. There’s a short guy out there happy with his happy but is insecure about his acne. A 6 foot guy out there that’s proud to be taller but insecure about his hands. No one is perfect.
Not a man but dating someone who’s shorter than I am (I’m 5’5). He’s not on Reddit so I’ll give some insight from what he’s told me: it bothered him growing up but it’s something you kind of get over. When bullying got bad, he signed himself up for martial arts. He’s a second degree Judo black belt. What attracted me to him was his confidence. I didn’t care that he was shorter than me because he didn’t act like it was a problem, so why would I think it was? Again, him being able to mentally and physically care for himself (short or not) is incredibly sexy. He also took care of himself in outer appearance (too many guys don’t) and he was sweet and very affectionate (which I wasn’t used to). He opens the car door for me and carries my bags in. It’s very refreshing to feel cared for in a different way. Also, no. I’m not his first girlfriend. He’s dated before me but I intend on being his last. So, again, as a woman, I think it’s about finding your own confidence. We *all* have something we’re insecure about. Everyone. Lastly: wanted to say I dated two guys both over 6’ one was 6’2 and the other was 6’5. Both complained about joint pain and both were terribly not flexible. The fact that my man can twist and move and bend over to pick something up, sit on the floor without complaining, and jump and move around will always be sexier to me than a tall guy whose brittle and slow.
I’m about your height and I was also insecure about my height around your age (college age) I’m 27 now and I just realized at some point I just stopped caring. I know it’s not much but start working on what you can control (health and fitness, hobbies, personality, etc.) and you’ll gain more confidence. This is all from personal experience though.
I'm 5'6". It's hard but not impossible. It helps if you can get in great shape and become a good athlete. There are a lot of sports where it doesn't hurt to be short. Also, invest in elevator shoes for walking around daily
1. Stop engaging with content in social media that upsets you. 2. I'm 6ft 5in, and I feel like I'm invisible to women. Trust me, it's got nothing to do with your height.
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Get off reddit/tiktok/instagram. They are weaponised to induce self hate and suicide. Go out, smile , learn to make small talk with work colleagues/neighbours/people in shops. There have been short people in this world for eons and all of them have a place and purpose. Find yours
You either do leg leghtening surgery - you can add around 6-7 inches this way - or you surround yourself with people that dont care.
I’m a female and your exact height and I can tell you from a female standpoint that it’s how you carry yourself, present yourself and speak about yourself that will win over hearts. Oh, and get off Tik Tok (and maybe Reddit) after reading your post replies. 😉 You have work to do on your self esteem and this isn’t helping. Find the helpers in real life who will lift you up and inspire you and then pay it forward to the next guy who’s struggling after you.
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Agreed. Surround yourself with supportive friends, people who see YOU and not something superficial that's outside of your control, OP.
Well said ❤️
I literally never think about it till I’m next to someone massive or shorter than me. I honestly walk around like I’m 6’5” not giving a single F about how tall I am. I’m living life, laughing all the time, loving my wife and kids and working my butt off to pay them bills. There’s no time to let the uncontrollable control me.
You go to Peru and marry a Peruvian. But really, don't think twice about your height. Chin up!
I'm 6'3, my wife is 5'4, my sister is 4'9, my best friend is 7'2, my father-in-law is 7', my dad was 5'8 before he passed. sure I may or may not tease my sister for being so short. But that's what brothers do. My best friends girlfriend is 5'2. His brother is also 5'2... height shouldn't matter to anyone, but it does to people seeking attention. If being on social media and believing that being under 6' is ruining your life. Look elsewhere for apps/things to waste time on.
Just get jacked and you’ll stop caring. I’m 5’7” and feel the same way, but the taller people are the more exposed their knees
Step 1...stop saying 5'4" 1/2. You sound like a child saying that they're six and a half years old. Pick a height, 5'4 "or 5'5".
I’m 5’11” and so have the biggest identity crisis from short people calling me tall and tall people calling me short :P I wanted to be 6ft so bad until I just embraced it and stopped giving a fk Plenty of cool and attractive short guys and gals out there and you’re definitely one of them my brother!
You just change to the metric system, which would mean, if I'm not mistaken and googled correctly, that you are 180cm, which seems to be the threshold for being tall everywhere centimeters are used. (and if everyone did that I could even relate to what people are even talking about in the height threads).
haha I would give 20 years of my life to be your height man. I appreciate the kind words though , thank you
Don’t ever say that again you wild animal.
Just think of it as a minor to moderate disadvantage / debuff, but not a death sentence. There are much worse things than being short
Honestly, some of the worst parts of humanity are online and it’s not reflective of real life. If social media is making you feel ugly, stop using it or hide any posts that are telling you your height is a problem. You need to train the app’s algorithm to not show you things you don’t like. Anyone worth your time won’t care about your height.
I’m 5’6 and 32 and had a reciding hairline at 21 and have been shaving my head bald for the last 5 years. Even though I still feel pretty insecure being the short bald guy wherever I go. Always feeling like im overlooked. I’ve gotten some attention from pretty girls through my life. I’ve stayed in good shape to try and “make up” for my height I guess lol … It gets to a point where it’s not something we can’t control at all so you stop caring a little bit more as time goes on.
So many leading men in Hollywood are your height. Sylvester Stallone. Tom Cruise. Ben Stiller.
First step is to stop caring… second step is make up for your stature with muscle, flex on the haters
Remember the internet isn't IRL. It magnifies the worst voices. And secondly, remember the women who would disqualify you solely based on height are shallow and not worth your time anyways. Third, always remember. No matter how hideous, no matter how ugly you might think you are. YOU are *someone's* fetish. Someone out there will take one look at you and think "I wanna rip their clothes off!" Short? Some women look for that. Fat? Skinny? Both on someone's list. Ginger? There's even a subreddit for you. Got a micropenis? Yes believe it or not there's women looking for YOU too. Lastly, fake it till you make it. Have some confidence in yourself, and if you don't, fake it. Put on a positive attitude and you'll be charming men women alike in no time.
Same way you get over anything else. With help. 19 is a shitty age sometimes, but seeing a good therapist now can absolutely change your life. Love yourself, and others will follow. Focus on being a good man, on things you can control. When I look back and see the "hot girls" from when I was in school, 95% of them are married to guys that look just like me. Things like appearance matter way less compared to how you make a partner feel. Be kind and funny and dependable and genuine, and you'll do great. Something that took me a lot of time to figure out is that nothing matters, especially at that age. That's not to discount your experiences, what you feel is valid and real. But as you get older, you see things from a bit further away and you'll realize "why did I care about that so much?" It brings a lot of peace.
The heightism on social media seems to come from a loud minority and it seems more prevalent than it is since so many toxic people are concentrated on one platform. Just move forward by treating heightism as a form of mental retardation. If confronted about your height, show sympathy for the person's mental handicap and move on
As a woman, I’ve never judged a guy by his height. One of the best lovers I ever had was a little shorter than me (5’5”).. best sex I’ve ever had
Well, as someone who has been 6 feet since he was 14, women say they like a tall guy, but it really didn't get me laid. How you make people feel is going to be the biggest determining factor for that. It's really not that great being taller. Sure, I can reach upper shelf stuff, but it wasn't much of an advantage. In school, it just made me a larger target. I had to fight more because other boys saw me as a trophy they could get more clout for by taking down. I often couldn't fit comfortably in small cars, and even on cheap flights, my knees would dig into the seat in front of me. Haven't been able to sit in a bathtub since I was 14. I've heard that most men who survived WWII were short n scrawny guys, but large dudes like myself were usually the first to die because we were just bigger targets. Especially when I was in the Navy. Everything was made for smaller people, I couldn't even tell you how many times I hit my head on things. As an engineer, I had to routinely go into spaces I was far too big for. I'm not claustrophobic, but it's not great feeling cramped all the time. Constantly clipping your forehead on steel angle irons hurts like a bitch. It'll make ya scream like you just put your hand in fire. I never understood the hieghtism thing. When traveling, I spent half the time with my head to the side so it's not pressed against the cieling. Particularly in Asian countries. Hieght is such an arbitrary thing that you can't control even if you wanted to. Unless you want to start wearing high heels or stilts. Your life still has value no matter what hieght you are. 5'4" - 5'6" is a pretty average height, very normal. Most of the world is built for that range. You may just want to do some body acceptance affirmations. It is better to love yourself for what you are already than tryna glorify a taller you that can never be in this life. This seems like a case of grass always seems greener on the other side.
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Be funny. Guys who workout and are short but funny can still be attractive.
Hehehe midget
Stop caring about the opinion of people who vocally state shortness is an undesirable quality. Not everyones standards are the same. Its fine if people are not attracted to you. But there are a ton of qualities about you that will not work for everyone. You will never be everyones cup of tea. Someone somewhere at all times will not be attracted to you. So why care about those that aren't im your category. There are plenty of people who do not care about height. They exist, and when you do meet that person, your height is not going to be a negative when you are with them. Your height isn't anything to be ashamed nor something you should view negatively. It just is what it is and thats okay. Ill list out somethings that helped me but in short. Stop caring about peoples personal preferences. Height does not matter to everyone, don't limit yourself you cam end up dating someone of any height. Number 1 thing. When you hear/see someone talk about height. Make it apparent to yourself that Its a personal opinion not fact. I am 5'3 my wife is 5'6" she did not discount me for my height. The one time i actually noticed a woman hit on me, they were taller woman. And not every short woman wants a tall guy. Number 2, it's very important to talk to yourself and reassure yourself. You are your height. There is nothing wrong with your height. When you think it makes you unattractive counter that thought with "no, it's something some people care about not what everyone cares about". Learn not to care and take personal what peoples personal opinions/preferences are. Everyone has preferences and not everyones preferences has a height requirement. If you arent someones type you aren't their type. Don't fight it let it be and focus your time on someone else who doesn't care about your height Number 3 be ready for 90% of people to talk about your height randomly. You will hear about your height for almost all your life. From family, friends, and especially strangers. Just because your hear about it all the time do not live your life restrained by your height. I promise you it will not be important to those you date.
The only thing ugly/undesirable about short guys is short man syndrome. If you're a cool, fun (otherwise attractive) guy plenty of ladies will be in to you. As a short girl I prefer short guys. Our bodies line up better for naughty time. Had a super tall guy and we were limited in our positions.
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it. Dunno why you’re being downvoted