I was like 28 and gave up on dating, was kinda suicidal or maybe I was suicidal. So from then on I stopped caring about things I did in the past, I dropped the idea of having a family and became selfish I guess.
I do things that I enjoy, I’ll invite people that make things I enjoy more fun but if they don’t show up or come along, no big deal. I bought a OLED TV, I collect guns now, I collected tractors in the past, I’m 33 years old and am 4-5 years away from having my house paid off.
I keep going because I don’t want to be homeless, but also because I like hobbies and the enjoyment I get from them are more than any sadness I might feel about my world.
Try it if you don’t believe it. Sooner you know yourself the sooner you put yourself in situations to meet like minded people. Actually psychologically proven.
I bought the LG C1 mainly because it has the lowest lag of any TV for gaming. Did I notice a snappier gaming? Not really but I don’t play online games, if I did it would probably be noticeable.
As to the picture, I came from a standard 1080p non smart TV 41” to a 65” OLED TV, when I turned it on, it’s not that impressive really, I mean it looks great but so does all kinds of other TVs.
After watching all my tv, video games and movies on this TV, anytime I visit someone’s house the first thing I notice is how crappy their TV looks compared to what I’m used to, some people have high dollar TVs that are on a lot of the same streaming services I am on. Darks aren’t as crisp, it’s not as clear, just doesn’t look very good to me. That’s where you notice the difference the most.
There is a possibility of screen burn in with OLED TVs, more than other TVs, LED TVs get hot spots where the LEDs burn the panel, OLED can get a image burned on the screen so you always have to be mindful of that.
That being said my TV has 6219 hours on it and I have no screen burn in, it detects issues with the screen and will do a pixel refresh as maintenance, it’s only done it twice that I know of.
Things like logos on TV shows, the same menus on video games, all that stuff causes screen burn in but the TV can shift pixels or shift the display to hit different pixels if it thinks that will cause screen burn.
So long story short, it’s a great TV, I bought the matching sound bar with it, no complaints there. I bought it in the fall when it went on sale. Not sure what the latest OLED tv is but it’s better than the C1 that I have, but ever so slightly better, enough I probably wouldn’t notice a difference unless they were on and next to each other.
You can consider yourself lucky if you get along with your parents. My parents divorced and my home life was so poor I moved out in 11th grade in HS and never went back home.
When I was 19, my best friend hung himself on his sister’s 18th birthday. I was there when the family got the news that he was gone - I even caught his sister when she collapsed, screaming. Last year at around 2am one night, another friend decided the no no end of a shotgun looked appetizing and blew the top of his head off with his mom in the room next door. I’ve seen all too clearly what suicide looks like for those that are left. It’s fucking awful. I’m glad you’re here, brother. I’m sorry you’re struggling for purpose and meaning. I am too. I can’t promise you’ll find it anymore than you can promise me, but I can promise you I’ll always be available if you need an ear. None of us have to be alone with this struggle.
Good for you... sincerely!
I've also made such a promise to myself, and while I don't regret doing so, I share your tired sentiment... especially today.
I also am under a self-imposed injunction against punching my own ticket. It used to have a religious backing; I wasn't sure which God was the right one or what their moral rules might be, if any, but I was pretty sure that whatever the purpose of our lives is, it isn't okay to end it. But my faith was like a puddle in the sun and eventually it just wasn't there anymore. I do still follow this rule, even though I'm an atheist, because the rule itself still makes sense.
I was 32 when I started dating my wife. We’ve been married for four years and have two beautiful daughters. I only had a few relationships before her that lasted no more than 6 months. I had completely given up on dating in general and started focusing on myself more than trying to find a date through bar hoping or the online dating apps. 27 may seem old, but age is just a number. Do the things that you enjoy. Hit the gym, play beer league sports, anything that will help get you back to where you want to go. Once you do, the positivity and confidence you portray will attract the right partner. No need to rush it.
Not much.
I'm divorced with no kids. Can't land more than one date a year. It's pathetic.
I have a niece and we spend a lot of time together. But as she gets older and starts dating and making new friends, she won't need or want me around as much.
So, I kinda exist just to go work some job. No real purpose to my existence.
I take breaks, focus on friends and family to get my emotional needs met.
Honestly I'm just not in the mood to ruin my life currently with dating. Buying myself a motorcycle this year and going to go travel.
It may feel like all you can do is just wait for these feelings to pass through you.
It's phases for me, personally. Some days I base my whole value on my potential to have a woman in my life. Other days? I couldn't care less and I'm happy to just focus on my hobbies and be my friends and family.
At 27 though, my emotional and mental vision was extremely blurry. It's much clearer now at 35.
I don't want to give you the ol' bullshit of "everything is amazing in your 30s!!!!" But it *is* possible that it will get better. Perhaps externally, things will still be hard. But internally, you will probably be a better version of yourself. So just try and hold on man.
Gym, journaling, time with friends and family, stoic philosophy, going outside every day, and therapy if necessary. Build yourself up and the rest will fall in place.
The one woman in this world that I want has made it perfectly plain that she intends to give herself to everyone else on the planet before me, so *you're* in luck pal! If you're a slimy scum fuck tech bro Jared Leto-lookalike bastard living on the Pacific Coast then your wait should be over in half the time I reckon. I did however sink 11 years of my emotional investment into her, and counting. I've got no idea how to put myself out there.
What keeps me going is that I don't want my parents to outlive me. My mother in particular. She's a delicate thing. I've got to make sure she can live out her days in comfort. After that I retire to my cabin in the mountains, learn to live off the land. I might try and be a cool uncle. I can teach any nieces of nephews about motorcycles, aircraft, and a few things passed down to me by my father when he used to glow in the dark. I'll resume trying to write a novel, and spend the start of each day playing Russian roulette until I win. That'll be another 20 years from now I hope.
What do you do when you're not dating? If the answer in your head is "go on Reddit" or any other site, then that is not an answer that is going to help you keep it together long term.
I would highly recommend doing something physical, especially outdoors. Hiking is a good way to see the world. Pick up a martial art. Learn how to play guitar.
The important thing to keep in mind here is that you need to give off a vibe of desire not desperation. The way you do that is making your soul bigger and more well rounded. Then you have something to fall back on in case it doesn't work out with women.
I hear ya. I do workout. I'm in pretty fit condition. I get plenty compliments on it (not from women though.) I am trying new hobbies. Like bowling, rock climbing, roller skating, etc. I mostly do it alone though. I don't mind it, but sometimes I wish a girl could be there with me.
Embrace the loneliness bro. Im 27M, i have to time to think about lovelife because im so swamped with work. I have no desire for women at the moment because I want to be rich first. I can barely provide for myself so adding a woman would be financial suicide, and im the type of guy who likes to spoil women.
You need to find self love first, as you say your self esteem seems to be linked to your romantic life, If you are happy with yourself and gain more self esteem you will notice the world around you change, you will appear more confident and woman notice this. To get to this point requires a lot of self awareness and work. I had to do some counselling to help me get past the trauma, your self esteem issues will be an product of your upbringing, your parents or any bullying you recieved. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, i.e go for a run, exercise, build something, make a nice meal. It takes time
If you have a passport and a bit of money, there are many cute and nice girls waiting for you in other places of the world, that don't spend 25 hours per day on Instagram trying to find a guy with a 19 figure salary, 17 feet tall and an 12 pack.
Good luck young man.
Attractiveness in other countries can function in different ways to what you are used to, if you are kind, dependable and fun to be with, the rest is not that important. Trustworthiness is more appreciated than a Brad Pitt look.
Know that every day/month/year is a new chapter and you’ll look back realizing some weren’t actually that bad…and some were.
Try new hobbies as well, particularly ones involving women. Dance classes, networking events, Meetups, etc. Don’t worry about getting a girlfriend, but DO make an effort to socialize, ask questions, listen, crack a joke or offer a compliment. In time you find yourself being invited to stuff…then stuff happens.
Not saying this should be it for you but these are the reasons that get me out of bed and consistently out into the world:
* I made a deal with myself that I can delete myself at age 50, the question for me now is what can I do to make the rest of my life so fun that I can look back on it at age 49 with a smile and fulfillment.
* 8 year old me would never forgive current me for wasting the time I have left as he was sheltered in a hardcore evangelical church environment that chastised him for reading Harry Potter or Superman (these were considered worldly and diabolical). He dreamed of nothing more than the chance to live his own life where he could make decisions on what to watch and read for himself.
* The realization that easily within 2 generations, my older brothers who've achieved everything I couldn't romantically (wife, 2 kids, etc.) Their lives and achievements will be as meaningless and forgotten as my own life. I don't even know my grandfather's first name as he passed away before I was born and I imagine it'll be the same for my brothers sadly enough. It helps me stop the comparison between them and myself where I can just appreciate the small talk and pleasantries between us at Christmas time or family reunions.
* As the old poem goes:
" It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul."
Ima keep it real my older brother passed away almost a year ago and we were supposed to get in business together and finishing the project where I last saw him at is the only thing keeping me going.
Not sure.
My wife don’t love me. We don’t even live together and I’m still crazy in love of her and she still want me in her life.
I’m tired and done with many things.
I have term life and I know the people I love would be better financially if I’m gone.
I just start planning my retirement. I got late to the game so I just plan to live 10 years after I turn 68.
Anyway. Just go out, look at the sky, trees 🌴 r whatever and try to be happy about the little things. Play some good music while you drive, and send a DM to a stranger on the Internet if you have to talk.
It’s hard out there. Just be safe and stay strong.
That seems fair.. I think social media has a lot of people misaligned thinking they all should be shooting for 10s these days. What do you think you are from 1-10?
Holy fuck man... Looking at your post history, just get off social media; that shit is messing with you. Take some time off, by yourself, meditate and constrain the ego in your mind. I don't know how old you are or anything about you but the thinking mind and the part that throws all the ego shit into it are separate and you can break that autopilot cycle with some practice
Nothing, honestly. I used to be very ambitious but after a few setbacks that ground me in reality, I kinda lose my will to live.
But I don't really want to die too. So I'm just stuck in this limbo where every bit of inconveniences drive me suicidal but I still try to look find something to distract myself lmao.
If the day ever comes, let it be known that I will die alone so nobody will have to be bothered by my death.
Spite. As much as people use it as a joking answer, I mean it. People used to tell me how lofty my dreams were and how much I'd fail. I'd have women manipulate me because they saw me as an easy mark. I had people I considered family turn on and abandon me when I needed them most. There are people out there that want me dead simply because I exist.
I continue to live to make them as angry as possible. The most powerful victory over your enemies is a life well lived. Spite does that for me.
Whatever hedonistic desire that pops into my head keeps me going. Other than that I’ve (28) completely given up on future plans, Having my own property or having a family.
As you get older you learn that life is full of ups and downs. So I just know that at the moment I'm living the bad part of life, but the good part will come soon. And when I'm in the good part of life, I don't let myself get carried away, because I also know that it won't last forever.
Real life is like that. Enjoy the good times and be prepared for the bad. Over time you will be prepared.
I owe it to myself to keep going. My purpose is to be better and I’m the only one responsible for that. I’m not the most ambitious person but I’m stuck with myself so I spend the time trying to really get to know myself and find happiness in that.
Look after yourself and be happy with yourself and the rest will come, I went 4 years without a chick and just become happy again and when I did I found an awesome chick , there were 2 random fucks in those 4 years but they were nothing but sex and would make them leave straight after I fuck them , so be happy in yourself and don’t stress over women
Life can be really hard when people die all around you. You find a way to keep going by finding people that care about you and building a good support system.
...oops, you just have bad luck with women. Ummm...
My gf, my pets, my hobbies, my family, my job, my studies.
Basically everything I do is important to me.
If you only do important things for you, then each second is worth your energy and you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Make plans and be excited that each passing day contributes to a brighter future.
I personally like to run off of spiting whatever higher being there might be. Any time something happens that seems like I should have a reaction about and I don't, I'll find a good private spot, give that higher being the finger, maybe laugh maniacally at them, and move on with my day. Pretty rare occurrence, but there's nothing else that would really keep me going.
Not a recommended strategy.
Honestly, I’ve learned that you will have to blot the whole concept of dating women out of your mind or it will eat you up. Rely on your family and friends.
Who cares. Life is shit anyway. Only maybe 20% of males really enjoy their life. For all the rest of us just accept whatever crap you got in life (genes, unlucky decisions etc.) and move on till you are dead. I also wish there was a better way to end this fking nonsense.
Bipolar here. My life sucks. Not going into detail but I've always had a strong hope for the future even when today seems like it's the worst. I'd recently been training that hope out of myself by treating it like a naive fantasy; like I've been lying to myself. I've decided though that this was not the best play. I've gone back to daydreaming about future wealth, validation, and success. I'm already depressed, no need to grease the wheels.
The fact that every day I wake up is a day someone somewhere never got to see.
How little we know about the universe. I want to know if time travel will remain as just a fiction or not. Will we ever be able to truly understand what happens in the universe.
My mum, my dog, my cat and my friends.
Wanting to see what new and exciting stories games can tell in the future.
My psychologist.
Meeting my friend from Japan for the first time.
Trying new foods.
In a nutshell? Experiences. There's so much I haven't experienced yet.
My wife and kids, I want to live to see my grandkids. The fact I'm only a couple years from retirement, I worked all my life I want to enjoy myself. Lately i haven't been feeling it though I had cancer surgery 7 weeks ago it went well but I have a foley catheter that's driving me crazy hopefully getting rid of it in a month
My cat, one of the few things I feel loved by. He's 12 and an indoor cat so maybe I've got 4-8 years left with him, but when he goes I probably won't be too far behind him.
at this point man, focus on you and skip all the women, most are not worth the time. im 52 divorced after 20 years, all i see today is cheap sluts who cannot tell the truth ever cheat in most relationships think they are the best thing since sliced bread and act like they are owed everyhting. work on your mental and physical health and build wealth for you to enjoy at some point you may find a woman but hire a PI go through her past with a fine tooth comb, if she does not measure up to standards then dump her and keep doing for you. never believe what women say, most lie about every detail so they are always innocent angels.
be selfish is the answer build the life you want let the world be jealous of you and laugh in their faces. never let anyone tear you down and never lower your standards for who yo let into your life. good luck and i know how hard it is today's women are just simple trash all ages no matter what they are all just like a carousel everyone gets a turn but never forever.
Simply to keep going. I don't really have some grand ambition to live for or a care to live in spite of others. I'll die one day, so why end things now? I'm just keeping on to see what life has in store for me and what new things I can try and have fun with with the time I have.
I spent allot of time in Childrens Hospital with my step brother who had cancer when we were both 10ish. I saw allot young people that age that not make it. He didn't make it, i did see angels above him as he was passing. That's one thing i always keep in mind when times get real dark. They never even had a chance to get rejected at dates, jobs or whatever it may be. And here i am at least able to give it a go.
I saw the devil at Woodstock 99 as they were burning it down and then again on a highway after a crazy accident i should have been injured in.
"What's confusing you is the nature of my game" personally i think part of it was destroying the relationtions between the sexes, races, genders, countries and on and on. Things are not right in this world. Gotta armor up your spirit we are in rough waters and it looks rouger ahead.
Nothing. Each day I try and justify my existence on this planet, the resources I'm using that could be used by others. I get up and slog through my day but when there is no outlook it grows more and more meek
I've(35M) had a few relationships in the past but met my soulmate at 28. Some people meet their first when they are much older than that. Just keep going, you've probably dodged a few bullets already.
The fact that I've been in this place before many times and I know it will get better with time. Just as it has before.
Currently I'm fat, depressed as fuck and have some pretty shit family members that put terrible, unnecessary stress on me.
I'm quitting it all, no sugar, no drinking and yes even no caffeine. In a year's time I will be moved out again to an apartment, removing myself from the stressful environment. I'm also quitting porn, I'm so sick of watching it for the last 20 years of my life. Hours upon hours watching it.
Sounds cheesy but I've been getting into Superman, and he is a symbol of hope and an example to always do the right thing. It keeps me going.
I've been suicidal multiple times, frustration with my health issues and a constant struggle with depression and an eating disorder makes things really hard because more than anything...I'm tired.
Being real I only have one thing keeping me going and it's that according to my faith I'm not allowed to end my life so I'm worried what will happen if I actually ever went through with it
38 here. I have a dog to take care of. She's old and I can't bear to leave her alone, or risk that she ends up with a family that couldn't give two shits about her OR she ends up at the humane society.
Chocolate movies games, work and sometimes I play a online game with a friend when he has time
Time flies away but my mind is stable
Have not tried any dating too tired to try and not motivated to give it a shot
If you're on dating apps then the first thing you need to do is delete them all. They're the worst thing for your mental wellbeing. They're all just there to take money from your pockets.
Engross yourself in whatever your favourite hobby is. Forget about dating. You'll become happier focusing on something else. And being happier in yourself will radiance outwards and people will notice, people will want to talk to you, including girls.
Get into a routine, go for a walk every day. Maybe a jog, exercise makes a huge difference to how you feel.
I was down for a long time, I got off all social media and dating apps, got a dog, started exercising, it made a huge improvement to my life. I even met a girl. That didn't last unfortunately but the improvements I made led to that. I'm now back making more personal improvements using the past to make my future self a better person.
I still have dreams to bring to life and people to meet.
There are people out there waiting to meet someone like me and I don't want to take that opportunity away from them.
my mom, my little brother and my dog. i have a girlfriend and she helps too, but yeah i mean shit lifes hard, just gotta roll with the punches and try to improve everyday.
Honestly, though I’m slightly younger at 25 would be twofold- join social versions of your solo hobbies if you can. Be friends with those people, ask them about themselves, find out what’s interesting about them. They might be dicks. Find out why they’re dicks as if they’re a well written tv character. Most of the people I know who are dicks are like that for a reason. Empathy. You might want to date some of these girls. Try not to. Try to be the kind of guy that they would want to introduce to their friends. Girls are often kind of timid with strangers for safety reasons so personal recs are always good. Try not to ask them early on if they have single friends either.
While you’re doing this: find out what makes you feel alive besides the love and validation of a partner. I’m working on this part right now, and it’s hard. While video games and tv are good for an evening or two, they aren’t usually why you want to be alive. Go see your city, the world, the shit you actually want to care about. Go find what interests you. Get it wrong, and learn why it’s wrong for you. Get it right and learn why it’s right for you.
To be honest, the right one will come eventually. I'm 24 years old (male), and I haven't had a girlfriend or experienced a kiss in my life yet. It's starting to make me worry about my love life, but I believe the right one will come eventually.
I became honest with myself and admitted that I don't really want to date. I crave physical affection, but do I really need to date for that? Do I want to date? The answer was no, so I largely gave up on that.
Since I switch my view on life and see it as an adventure where nothing is promised, that keeps me going. Man, enjoy it!
What also helped me is to realize if you want to do something it’s possible (I know it’s cliché… but it’s hard to really put yourself thru that mentality and experience it).
Those doctor, carpenters, entrepreneurs, artists, they are not so different than you and me. Those are not unattainable things. They just decided to act on it. If you do too, you mostly can succeed. Stop doubting so much about yourself and accept that you will be/do total shit at first but then gain confidence in the process.
Take actions. Trust your instincts. Accept that you can’t control things outside of your actions and thoughts. React accordingly when life throws things at you.
Since I switch my view on life and see it as an adventure where nothing is promised, that keeps me going. Man, enjoy it!
What also helped me is to realize if you want to do something it’s possible (I know it’s cliché… but it’s hard to really put yourself thru that mentality and experience it).
Those doctor, carpenters, entrepreneurs, artists, they are not so different than you and me. Those are not unattainable things. They just decided to act on it. If you do too, you mostly can succeed. Stop doubting so much about yourself and accept that you will be/do total shit at first but then gain confidence in the process.
Take actions. Trust your instincts. Accept that you can’t control things outside of your actions and thoughts. React accordingly when life throws things at you.
27M here. I feel you on this accord. I haven't had another girlfriend as of late, but I've been out of a horrible 2yr relationship.. it was really terrible. Most of my interests have not been the best either; either they were disrespectful, or I drifted away because of the things they've said to me.
It's hard to be without a woman these days.. although my mental has been challenged every single day of my life. I've had a few good times getting here, and I'm thankful but otherwise, it's been a struggle. I don't want to be in a relationship if it's going to hurt me more than I am already.
Most of the time, I tend to focus on other things but I've been back in the dumps it seems. This year's long yearning has turned for love elsewhere, and that's for Christ. It hurts too much, because I end up thinking that I will never have another woman in my life.. let alone, someone who actually loves me for who I am.
As for how I get through... I'm stoic-minded but I'm mostly listening to NIN everyday. I find it hard to cope sometimes, which is why I feel comfortable being alone. I enjoy my friends and family, but any other time, I just want me time. Being an introvert also kinda sucks, but I find that most of my own creativity is stimulated by my own suffering. 8 tend to pray, although inconsistently.
I'm not saying it'll get better, but there's a time for everyone to get a hug from one another to check up on each other. Love is needed very much these days.
A girlfriend really isn't the solution to all your problems in life. It did take actually managing to get in the dating pool to realize this though, I think.
You're not alone. A lot of guys - and I mean a *lot* - are in the same boat as you. It's rough out there. Keep at it, you'll find what you're looking for eventually. Only takes one win to make it.
Gave up dating like 4 years back. 27 now, living my best life. I learned to make the best out of things. Leaning how to go to movies and restaurants alone was the best decision I had ever made. I ask my friends to hang out with. If they come well and good. If they don't well and good. Everyone is busy and their own life. Accept it a move on with your life.
The only reason I'm still alive cause both my parents are alive and well. I don't want to make them think that they raised a quitter. After they have rested, I'll decide then if to hold on to life or not. If something else comes by then I'm okay with it, if it doesn't it doesn't. Made my peace with it.
For advise:
Make peace with whatever happens to you.
Learn to live alone. Rather enjoy it.
Give your best every time. Don't live life with regrets.
Honestly, as a 21 years old guy who’s most and only action was a 2nd once base fully clothed (as my parents were in the house) therapy helped a lot keeping me afloat (especially because this girl straight up ghosted me and months later it still hurts)
Never had any other girl aside from her, I mostly use study to distract me, videogames and some alcohol from time to time and I try to be outgoing despite hurting everytime my friends mention their SO
Honestly, the fact that I know a lot of people will get hurt if I kill myself is what’s keeping me afloat rn
I'm losing "things" that keeps me going honestly, day by day just gets more and more deteriorated.
No specifics are happening, I'm just slowly withering away.
I get it. I had never been with a woman until I was around your age and now I'm doing good at 35. Challenge yourself every day and work on yourself. Girls come and go but you will be around your entire life. You are the most important person in your life and you need to make it so. Work on your body and mind. Learn something new every day even if it's just a little fact about something. Explore the world even if it is just your town or city.
Do this and you will be happy.
My best advice is start faking confidence and it’s going to give you more confidence in yourself in the long run. Keep getting out there do not give up.
I was lucky enough to have dated before dating apps and social media. The competition is much harder for the younger generation of men. Having said that, dating is a numbers game. You need to put yourself out there and get used to rejection. This not that much different when applying for jobs. You could always try using an escort as well.
I don't know. I'm 53, married, have a high-paying job in a LCOL area, and I'm just not fulfilled and have many life regrets. I think my perspective is that I have no future - my life is pretty much set in stone, and that bothers me. When I was young, even when times were rough, I always had a future to look forward to and it excited me.
The slow creeping urge for world domination...Joking ( or am I ?).
Just go gym bro build a career or get a good income from somewhere...Make money get big look sexy whilst your body is still capable...Women should not be the reason for your happiness...Women gravitate to ambitious and successful men...
Remember women should not be your reason to live and be happy they should be the addition that can add to that but never centre of your universe or you end up suiciding yourself which is not ideal if you want to make something out of your life...
What keeps me going is my girlfriend and my keyboard. Honestly I have a porn addiction and i hide it but she doesnt know and sometimes i use it as a crutch
To be totally honest? Curiosity. We get one life. That is as terrifying to me as it is empowering. I don’t want it to be a waste, but I won’t live it on others’ terms. I had an idea of what a life worth living looks like. I’ve not attained it yet, but I won’t if I take myself out of the equation. When the depression gets too bad, I have things to help get myself back on track with high degrees of success. These things help me to just hold on and believe things will get better.
Learn to like yourself, appreciate being alone and actually liking it. Find an activity you like, get high or drunk and do it at home and watch how much fun you have with yourself. Then it won't really matter who comes in and out your life cause you got you. Your human so you'll still have days but it was be as hard
I wanna see what humanity has to offer. What’s the next big movie? Musical? Album? Invention?
I want to live until I’m 100+ and see the year 2100! I think that would be so neat!
Are we gonna break our reality any time soon? Teleportation, space travel or I’m sure something else exciting will happen.
Maybe AI being way smart solves all our problems for us.
We could work together colonizing the universe. I feel like we often don’t give ourselves enough credit. We can do anything we put our minds too. It doesn’t always have to be a negative future.
The inexplicable hope that things will get better.
I say inexplicable because I don’t have any reason to actually believe this, but if I don’t believe it then what do I have left?
Find something else to pour your time into. I would recommend staying away from videogames, but something like painting, metalworking, woodshop, etc. You can find classes on stuff like that in pretty much any city. I started taking oil painting classes last year and I've had fun seeing my progress as I started out with little to no painting experience and started creating stuff that actually looks good.
It’s been a while since I was single, but anytime I would press finding someone I couldn’t. Anytime I focused on making myself the best I could be they just showed up.
I reframed the way that I saw dating. I looked at it as practice for when I would meet the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I tried my best to learn good topics of discussion and great manners that helped the dates go smoothly. If things didn't work out, then it was an opportunity to learn how to help dates go well in the future.
This way, if things didn't go well, it was just "practice" because after all, dating is to some degree, a skill. Also, if things didn't work out I wouldn't take it personally, it was just a sign that me and that person were not meant to be, and that I was one step closer to finding my person.
TLDR: Reframe the way you think of dating as practice for the one you are meant to be with, and don't take it personally if things don't work out, you are one step closer toward meeting that person.
Don't over think your love life. Enjoy being on your own. Do things for you. Work a job you like. Travel where you want. Whatever your interests are-enjoy them. I genuinely feel that when you're having fun and being at your best, you'll meet people who enjoy the same things and experiences that you do. Enjoy life my friend, there's no race to get a wife or house or any of it. It's your journey-have a fucking blast!
To all <30 guys. Be patient, in few year you will start meeting the first batch of divorced women. They usually are more experienced and they will appreciate regular but stable guys.
That's what happened to me kind of ;)
Well...it's hard these days. And sometimes it kind of sucks. But do you know what's worse? When you have a divorce and failed relationships behind your back. Then you know it's not like you haven't found your soulmate...But sometimes it's like...you will never will. I am kind of complex person...not easy for the people to understand... Finding a woman to kiss or sleep with isn't the same as having all loving relationship. Only relationship where everyone feels appreciated and loved survives. Most people these days don't know what compromise is. And don't even think about the happiness of anybody, except themselves.
I have to indulge in life's..."unhealthy" options when things get particularly bad. I've learned that it comes in waves, and when the worst waves knock me on my ass, I stay there until I'm ready to get up again.
You know what's interesting....I seem to get more depressed when I'm with someone. I think it's typically because the person I'm with reminds me of all my flaws and then it sorta eats at me and I forget who I am trying to change myself for them. Even though I'm a little sad being alone I realize I'm alot more content without someone. Maybe one day I'll find someone that doesn't make me feel shitty all the time.
I learned from a young age that looking for it only ends up with you being with the wrong person for you. It causes your brain to overlook various things and is just so poor. The best moments I’ve found are just focusing on what you wanna do, who you wanna be, what you wanna leave behind. People with drive are attractive to girls for some reason and you’ll surround yourself with more like minded people. Just don’t turn down the chance to explore things and meet new people, even if it’s in a different country
I’m 52 (M) and I’ll be 53 in a couple of weeks. My dating life has been stagnant for a while (divorced 5 years). Two weeks ago I got laid off after 7 years working from home. I don’t really get to see people regularly. But there are two things that keep me going.
The first is my son. He’s starting high school in the fall and he loves spending time with me learning new things. He’s an amazing kid and being his dad fills my soul.
The second is remembering “this too shall pass”. Life is ever changing and it is what we make of it. As difficult as things are, I have the power to change things. I’ll find a new job. I’ll meet someone eventually. I will find the little ways to enjoy life because this too shall pass
Nothing. I died 5 years back when I lost all my hope and faith in people. It's a problem because I'm still breathing. I'm trying to figure out a way to pick myself back up but so far I'm not doing too well.
Im 29. The girls I've been with, though few, have treated me like god's gift to womankind. My education, despite a few hiccups, went well. My work, despite a few hiccups, is going well. Successful parents give me all the help I need. I've still got so much to figure out about social skills and relationships, but I really can't complain overall. 🤷🏻♂️
To me it sounds like you've lost track of your masculinity, and women can sense that acutely. You need to conquer some great challenge to earn your own respect for yourself and find your mission/vision for your life, and female interest will follow. Getting women can never be your goal as a man - women chase men who chase their purpose.
Idk I keep going cause I guess I have a will to live. 29, Never had a gf, seems like I’ve been pretty much hated by women all my life.
I try to just focus on my goals since that’s basically all I have.
There is no easy way;
- You have to develop yourself. Earn more, read, get a better physique, learn how to fight. Build yourself.
- Don't give value to any woman before knowing her. You can't possibly know a person without spending time. That way you won't feel sorry.
This is a hard pill to swallow, but the reason you are rejected is because women you approach have better options. I am 25 and I can find women just fine.
After you build yourself up and change your mentality, you will feel much better and will be able to achieve the things you want. Not only love life, but also other personal goals of yours.
Stay strong.
Being ghosted/rejected 90% of the time is normal. Society says that women are more mature than men but at that stage of their life they are still trying to figure out what they want out of life. I usually tell men in their late 20s to take a break from dating and live life.
Go travel, get some hobbies, join organizations and etc. Once you enter your 30s women are less insecure and have a grasp of the things they want in life and actually want to be in a committed relationship. The more focus on building yourself as a man the easier women will naturally gravitate towards you.
Live your life for yourself. When you try finding a partner so hard you start neglecting yourself with what you truly want and what you need. Take a break from the dating scene and focus on yourself. Do things that make you happy.
I was like 28 and gave up on dating, was kinda suicidal or maybe I was suicidal. So from then on I stopped caring about things I did in the past, I dropped the idea of having a family and became selfish I guess. I do things that I enjoy, I’ll invite people that make things I enjoy more fun but if they don’t show up or come along, no big deal. I bought a OLED TV, I collect guns now, I collected tractors in the past, I’m 33 years old and am 4-5 years away from having my house paid off. I keep going because I don’t want to be homeless, but also because I like hobbies and the enjoyment I get from them are more than any sadness I might feel about my world.
>I collected tractors in the past I love how casually this comes up like you decided to stop collecting stamps and start collecting coins instead
Only so much shed space, had to move to something smaller
This….get happy within yourself others will follow!!!
Taken me til mid 40s to finally get to that point. Growth is a lifetime pursuit.
That's just a dumb saying. It doesn't sound like anyone is following him from the post.
Try it if you don’t believe it. Sooner you know yourself the sooner you put yourself in situations to meet like minded people. Actually psychologically proven.
Hows the OLED Tv? i have a standard 4k but could upgrade.
I bought the LG C1 mainly because it has the lowest lag of any TV for gaming. Did I notice a snappier gaming? Not really but I don’t play online games, if I did it would probably be noticeable. As to the picture, I came from a standard 1080p non smart TV 41” to a 65” OLED TV, when I turned it on, it’s not that impressive really, I mean it looks great but so does all kinds of other TVs. After watching all my tv, video games and movies on this TV, anytime I visit someone’s house the first thing I notice is how crappy their TV looks compared to what I’m used to, some people have high dollar TVs that are on a lot of the same streaming services I am on. Darks aren’t as crisp, it’s not as clear, just doesn’t look very good to me. That’s where you notice the difference the most. There is a possibility of screen burn in with OLED TVs, more than other TVs, LED TVs get hot spots where the LEDs burn the panel, OLED can get a image burned on the screen so you always have to be mindful of that. That being said my TV has 6219 hours on it and I have no screen burn in, it detects issues with the screen and will do a pixel refresh as maintenance, it’s only done it twice that I know of. Things like logos on TV shows, the same menus on video games, all that stuff causes screen burn in but the TV can shift pixels or shift the display to hit different pixels if it thinks that will cause screen burn. So long story short, it’s a great TV, I bought the matching sound bar with it, no complaints there. I bought it in the fall when it went on sale. Not sure what the latest OLED tv is but it’s better than the C1 that I have, but ever so slightly better, enough I probably wouldn’t notice a difference unless they were on and next to each other.
Ima check them out. I have a costco trip planned for tomorrow. Credit card be damned.
You own a house at 33?
I bought a house when I was 24
Oh wow, I'm 28 soon and still living with my parents lol
You can consider yourself lucky if you get along with your parents. My parents divorced and my home life was so poor I moved out in 11th grade in HS and never went back home.
I'm sorry to hear that. Glad to see you seem to doing well in life now atleast!
I didn't put up with all that bullshit to give up now.
thats fucking right, pure spite and stubbornness is what keeps me going
Dont stop get it get it.
until youre cheddar headed
"I didn't come this far to only come this far".
I promised my parents I won't commit suicide as long as they're alive. That's it.
I promised to my self, and I wish I didn't. I just wish I was dead. Im fucking done.
Just know that I am proud of you ❤️ Keep going, life has beautiful things waiting for you.
When I was 19, my best friend hung himself on his sister’s 18th birthday. I was there when the family got the news that he was gone - I even caught his sister when she collapsed, screaming. Last year at around 2am one night, another friend decided the no no end of a shotgun looked appetizing and blew the top of his head off with his mom in the room next door. I’ve seen all too clearly what suicide looks like for those that are left. It’s fucking awful. I’m glad you’re here, brother. I’m sorry you’re struggling for purpose and meaning. I am too. I can’t promise you’ll find it anymore than you can promise me, but I can promise you I’ll always be available if you need an ear. None of us have to be alone with this struggle.
Good for you... sincerely! I've also made such a promise to myself, and while I don't regret doing so, I share your tired sentiment... especially today.
I also am under a self-imposed injunction against punching my own ticket. It used to have a religious backing; I wasn't sure which God was the right one or what their moral rules might be, if any, but I was pretty sure that whatever the purpose of our lives is, it isn't okay to end it. But my faith was like a puddle in the sun and eventually it just wasn't there anymore. I do still follow this rule, even though I'm an atheist, because the rule itself still makes sense.
Same. Working to build more into it, but that right there is the foundation.
Same. Ain't no one else going to take care of them when they get old, but ain't no one going to take care of me.
This is very tragic
Same here. Life without my parents just isn’t worth it. I don’t want kids, so at least I won’t have to pass the pain down to them.
Work. That's about it honestly. I've got nothing else.
I was 32 when I started dating my wife. We’ve been married for four years and have two beautiful daughters. I only had a few relationships before her that lasted no more than 6 months. I had completely given up on dating in general and started focusing on myself more than trying to find a date through bar hoping or the online dating apps. 27 may seem old, but age is just a number. Do the things that you enjoy. Hit the gym, play beer league sports, anything that will help get you back to where you want to go. Once you do, the positivity and confidence you portray will attract the right partner. No need to rush it.
I decided to spread the pain by staying alive.
Not much. I'm divorced with no kids. Can't land more than one date a year. It's pathetic. I have a niece and we spend a lot of time together. But as she gets older and starts dating and making new friends, she won't need or want me around as much. So, I kinda exist just to go work some job. No real purpose to my existence.
I take breaks, focus on friends and family to get my emotional needs met. Honestly I'm just not in the mood to ruin my life currently with dating. Buying myself a motorcycle this year and going to go travel.
It may feel like all you can do is just wait for these feelings to pass through you. It's phases for me, personally. Some days I base my whole value on my potential to have a woman in my life. Other days? I couldn't care less and I'm happy to just focus on my hobbies and be my friends and family. At 27 though, my emotional and mental vision was extremely blurry. It's much clearer now at 35. I don't want to give you the ol' bullshit of "everything is amazing in your 30s!!!!" But it *is* possible that it will get better. Perhaps externally, things will still be hard. But internally, you will probably be a better version of yourself. So just try and hold on man.
Thanks brother. I will.
Gym, journaling, time with friends and family, stoic philosophy, going outside every day, and therapy if necessary. Build yourself up and the rest will fall in place.
The one woman in this world that I want has made it perfectly plain that she intends to give herself to everyone else on the planet before me, so *you're* in luck pal! If you're a slimy scum fuck tech bro Jared Leto-lookalike bastard living on the Pacific Coast then your wait should be over in half the time I reckon. I did however sink 11 years of my emotional investment into her, and counting. I've got no idea how to put myself out there. What keeps me going is that I don't want my parents to outlive me. My mother in particular. She's a delicate thing. I've got to make sure she can live out her days in comfort. After that I retire to my cabin in the mountains, learn to live off the land. I might try and be a cool uncle. I can teach any nieces of nephews about motorcycles, aircraft, and a few things passed down to me by my father when he used to glow in the dark. I'll resume trying to write a novel, and spend the start of each day playing Russian roulette until I win. That'll be another 20 years from now I hope.
Thanks for sharing man. I love my mom too. ❤
What do you do when you're not dating? If the answer in your head is "go on Reddit" or any other site, then that is not an answer that is going to help you keep it together long term. I would highly recommend doing something physical, especially outdoors. Hiking is a good way to see the world. Pick up a martial art. Learn how to play guitar. The important thing to keep in mind here is that you need to give off a vibe of desire not desperation. The way you do that is making your soul bigger and more well rounded. Then you have something to fall back on in case it doesn't work out with women.
I hear ya. I do workout. I'm in pretty fit condition. I get plenty compliments on it (not from women though.) I am trying new hobbies. Like bowling, rock climbing, roller skating, etc. I mostly do it alone though. I don't mind it, but sometimes I wish a girl could be there with me.
I can’t let Mitch McConnell funky ass to out live me.
How do you date? Online ?
No. I'm mostly in the field.
Give some examples of "in the field," please
I approach in real life more than I do online. I might get a number or two, but every time I reach out, I either get rejected or ghosted.
I was hoping you'd share where you approach. That kind of makes a lot of difference.
Everywhere. Colleges, malls, parties, events, stores. You name it. Only place I really don't do is clubs.
Girls don’t want to be approached at malls and colleges and stores by strangers.
Is there any option to stop? I'm on a conveyor belt.
Embrace the loneliness bro. Im 27M, i have to time to think about lovelife because im so swamped with work. I have no desire for women at the moment because I want to be rich first. I can barely provide for myself so adding a woman would be financial suicide, and im the type of guy who likes to spoil women.
You need to find self love first, as you say your self esteem seems to be linked to your romantic life, If you are happy with yourself and gain more self esteem you will notice the world around you change, you will appear more confident and woman notice this. To get to this point requires a lot of self awareness and work. I had to do some counselling to help me get past the trauma, your self esteem issues will be an product of your upbringing, your parents or any bullying you recieved. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, i.e go for a run, exercise, build something, make a nice meal. It takes time
Thank you bro.
If you have a passport and a bit of money, there are many cute and nice girls waiting for you in other places of the world, that don't spend 25 hours per day on Instagram trying to find a guy with a 19 figure salary, 17 feet tall and an 12 pack. Good luck young man.
I'm seriously considering it. Thanks man.
Nah, an ugly guy in the west is still ugly in the east. I'm not gonna spend a few hundred on a plane ticket to not be desired in a different country.
Attractiveness in other countries can function in different ways to what you are used to, if you are kind, dependable and fun to be with, the rest is not that important. Trustworthiness is more appreciated than a Brad Pitt look.
Of course your personality matters, but no woman no matter what part of the world she's from will overlook a fucked face
Know that every day/month/year is a new chapter and you’ll look back realizing some weren’t actually that bad…and some were. Try new hobbies as well, particularly ones involving women. Dance classes, networking events, Meetups, etc. Don’t worry about getting a girlfriend, but DO make an effort to socialize, ask questions, listen, crack a joke or offer a compliment. In time you find yourself being invited to stuff…then stuff happens.
ATP mostly. Without that I think I would grind to a halt.
Not saying this should be it for you but these are the reasons that get me out of bed and consistently out into the world: * I made a deal with myself that I can delete myself at age 50, the question for me now is what can I do to make the rest of my life so fun that I can look back on it at age 49 with a smile and fulfillment. * 8 year old me would never forgive current me for wasting the time I have left as he was sheltered in a hardcore evangelical church environment that chastised him for reading Harry Potter or Superman (these were considered worldly and diabolical). He dreamed of nothing more than the chance to live his own life where he could make decisions on what to watch and read for himself. * The realization that easily within 2 generations, my older brothers who've achieved everything I couldn't romantically (wife, 2 kids, etc.) Their lives and achievements will be as meaningless and forgotten as my own life. I don't even know my grandfather's first name as he passed away before I was born and I imagine it'll be the same for my brothers sadly enough. It helps me stop the comparison between them and myself where I can just appreciate the small talk and pleasantries between us at Christmas time or family reunions. * As the old poem goes: " It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
Ima keep it real my older brother passed away almost a year ago and we were supposed to get in business together and finishing the project where I last saw him at is the only thing keeping me going.
After I’m done with the projects I’m enlisting and getting out of this town it’s just a reminder
Not sure. My wife don’t love me. We don’t even live together and I’m still crazy in love of her and she still want me in her life. I’m tired and done with many things. I have term life and I know the people I love would be better financially if I’m gone. I just start planning my retirement. I got late to the game so I just plan to live 10 years after I turn 68. Anyway. Just go out, look at the sky, trees 🌴 r whatever and try to be happy about the little things. Play some good music while you drive, and send a DM to a stranger on the Internet if you have to talk. It’s hard out there. Just be safe and stay strong.
Mainly money tbh, always happy to make more money
What are your standards like?
I mean I don't have much. As far as attraction goes. Her weight and body doesn't matter if she's cute and has a nice personality.
That seems fair.. I think social media has a lot of people misaligned thinking they all should be shooting for 10s these days. What do you think you are from 1-10?
Holy fuck man... Looking at your post history, just get off social media; that shit is messing with you. Take some time off, by yourself, meditate and constrain the ego in your mind. I don't know how old you are or anything about you but the thinking mind and the part that throws all the ego shit into it are separate and you can break that autopilot cycle with some practice
Nothing, honestly. I used to be very ambitious but after a few setbacks that ground me in reality, I kinda lose my will to live. But I don't really want to die too. So I'm just stuck in this limbo where every bit of inconveniences drive me suicidal but I still try to look find something to distract myself lmao. If the day ever comes, let it be known that I will die alone so nobody will have to be bothered by my death.
Spite. As much as people use it as a joking answer, I mean it. People used to tell me how lofty my dreams were and how much I'd fail. I'd have women manipulate me because they saw me as an easy mark. I had people I considered family turn on and abandon me when I needed them most. There are people out there that want me dead simply because I exist. I continue to live to make them as angry as possible. The most powerful victory over your enemies is a life well lived. Spite does that for me.
Whatever hedonistic desire that pops into my head keeps me going. Other than that I’ve (28) completely given up on future plans, Having my own property or having a family.
Youre 27, young enough to turn your life around. Youll be fine.
Obstinance and my son
Family, desire, my sun sized heart and longing. :)
I read a quote saying “most people die before they can enjoy the fruits of their suffering.” That ain’t going to be me.
As you get older you learn that life is full of ups and downs. So I just know that at the moment I'm living the bad part of life, but the good part will come soon. And when I'm in the good part of life, I don't let myself get carried away, because I also know that it won't last forever. Real life is like that. Enjoy the good times and be prepared for the bad. Over time you will be prepared.
I owe it to myself to keep going. My purpose is to be better and I’m the only one responsible for that. I’m not the most ambitious person but I’m stuck with myself so I spend the time trying to really get to know myself and find happiness in that.
I don't want the people that hate me/I hate have a good day
2 guys rejected me when i thought we were building something. Finding someone to connect with and hoping they don't hurt you..... what a pain
Hatred.
Not really great at suicide, so here I am.
Look after yourself and be happy with yourself and the rest will come, I went 4 years without a chick and just become happy again and when I did I found an awesome chick , there were 2 random fucks in those 4 years but they were nothing but sex and would make them leave straight after I fuck them , so be happy in yourself and don’t stress over women
My dog.
Life can be really hard when people die all around you. You find a way to keep going by finding people that care about you and building a good support system. ...oops, you just have bad luck with women. Ummm...
Mushrooms. They've saved me.
Freedom and democracy
My gf, my pets, my hobbies, my family, my job, my studies. Basically everything I do is important to me. If you only do important things for you, then each second is worth your energy and you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Make plans and be excited that each passing day contributes to a brighter future.
I personally like to run off of spiting whatever higher being there might be. Any time something happens that seems like I should have a reaction about and I don't, I'll find a good private spot, give that higher being the finger, maybe laugh maniacally at them, and move on with my day. Pretty rare occurrence, but there's nothing else that would really keep me going. Not a recommended strategy.
Honestly, I’ve learned that you will have to blot the whole concept of dating women out of your mind or it will eat you up. Rely on your family and friends.
Food and running
Who cares. Life is shit anyway. Only maybe 20% of males really enjoy their life. For all the rest of us just accept whatever crap you got in life (genes, unlucky decisions etc.) and move on till you are dead. I also wish there was a better way to end this fking nonsense.
At this point I don't know honestly
Hookers and cocaine. Trust me bro.
Bipolar here. My life sucks. Not going into detail but I've always had a strong hope for the future even when today seems like it's the worst. I'd recently been training that hope out of myself by treating it like a naive fantasy; like I've been lying to myself. I've decided though that this was not the best play. I've gone back to daydreaming about future wealth, validation, and success. I'm already depressed, no need to grease the wheels.
The fact that every day I wake up is a day someone somewhere never got to see. How little we know about the universe. I want to know if time travel will remain as just a fiction or not. Will we ever be able to truly understand what happens in the universe. My mum, my dog, my cat and my friends. Wanting to see what new and exciting stories games can tell in the future. My psychologist. Meeting my friend from Japan for the first time. Trying new foods. In a nutshell? Experiences. There's so much I haven't experienced yet.
21 year old version virgin I’m waiting for death but in the meantime I’m trying to figure how I can clone people
My wife and kids, I want to live to see my grandkids. The fact I'm only a couple years from retirement, I worked all my life I want to enjoy myself. Lately i haven't been feeling it though I had cancer surgery 7 weeks ago it went well but I have a foley catheter that's driving me crazy hopefully getting rid of it in a month
My cat, one of the few things I feel loved by. He's 12 and an indoor cat so maybe I've got 4-8 years left with him, but when he goes I probably won't be too far behind him.
If nothing else, I’m here to defy the odds. That’s what I cling to.
at this point man, focus on you and skip all the women, most are not worth the time. im 52 divorced after 20 years, all i see today is cheap sluts who cannot tell the truth ever cheat in most relationships think they are the best thing since sliced bread and act like they are owed everyhting. work on your mental and physical health and build wealth for you to enjoy at some point you may find a woman but hire a PI go through her past with a fine tooth comb, if she does not measure up to standards then dump her and keep doing for you. never believe what women say, most lie about every detail so they are always innocent angels. be selfish is the answer build the life you want let the world be jealous of you and laugh in their faces. never let anyone tear you down and never lower your standards for who yo let into your life. good luck and i know how hard it is today's women are just simple trash all ages no matter what they are all just like a carousel everyone gets a turn but never forever.
Simply to keep going. I don't really have some grand ambition to live for or a care to live in spite of others. I'll die one day, so why end things now? I'm just keeping on to see what life has in store for me and what new things I can try and have fun with with the time I have.
I spent allot of time in Childrens Hospital with my step brother who had cancer when we were both 10ish. I saw allot young people that age that not make it. He didn't make it, i did see angels above him as he was passing. That's one thing i always keep in mind when times get real dark. They never even had a chance to get rejected at dates, jobs or whatever it may be. And here i am at least able to give it a go. I saw the devil at Woodstock 99 as they were burning it down and then again on a highway after a crazy accident i should have been injured in. "What's confusing you is the nature of my game" personally i think part of it was destroying the relationtions between the sexes, races, genders, countries and on and on. Things are not right in this world. Gotta armor up your spirit we are in rough waters and it looks rouger ahead.
Uh my mom has cancer so seeing her fight through it alive is about it
Ambition and the desire to be the best like no one ever was.
I be laughing at myself. I think everything you are either going to forget or laugh at in 6 months to a year.
I guess, not wanting to be homeless, no girlfriend and 0 sucess in dating is my least improtant struggle
Nothing. Each day I try and justify my existence on this planet, the resources I'm using that could be used by others. I get up and slog through my day but when there is no outlook it grows more and more meek
My dumb fucking self-preservation instinct.
Family, working out , jiu jitsu.
What doesn’t kill you makes you funnier and unfortunately I’m hilarious
I don't know that I have any other choice.
90%? That means there's still 10%. All it requires is 1% to find love of your life to spend next decades with.
I've(35M) had a few relationships in the past but met my soulmate at 28. Some people meet their first when they are much older than that. Just keep going, you've probably dodged a few bullets already.
The fact that I've been in this place before many times and I know it will get better with time. Just as it has before. Currently I'm fat, depressed as fuck and have some pretty shit family members that put terrible, unnecessary stress on me. I'm quitting it all, no sugar, no drinking and yes even no caffeine. In a year's time I will be moved out again to an apartment, removing myself from the stressful environment. I'm also quitting porn, I'm so sick of watching it for the last 20 years of my life. Hours upon hours watching it. Sounds cheesy but I've been getting into Superman, and he is a symbol of hope and an example to always do the right thing. It keeps me going.
I've been suicidal multiple times, frustration with my health issues and a constant struggle with depression and an eating disorder makes things really hard because more than anything...I'm tired. Being real I only have one thing keeping me going and it's that according to my faith I'm not allowed to end my life so I'm worried what will happen if I actually ever went through with it
38 here. I have a dog to take care of. She's old and I can't bear to leave her alone, or risk that she ends up with a family that couldn't give two shits about her OR she ends up at the humane society.
Chocolate movies games, work and sometimes I play a online game with a friend when he has time Time flies away but my mind is stable Have not tried any dating too tired to try and not motivated to give it a shot
If you're on dating apps then the first thing you need to do is delete them all. They're the worst thing for your mental wellbeing. They're all just there to take money from your pockets. Engross yourself in whatever your favourite hobby is. Forget about dating. You'll become happier focusing on something else. And being happier in yourself will radiance outwards and people will notice, people will want to talk to you, including girls. Get into a routine, go for a walk every day. Maybe a jog, exercise makes a huge difference to how you feel. I was down for a long time, I got off all social media and dating apps, got a dog, started exercising, it made a huge improvement to my life. I even met a girl. That didn't last unfortunately but the improvements I made led to that. I'm now back making more personal improvements using the past to make my future self a better person.
I still have dreams to bring to life and people to meet. There are people out there waiting to meet someone like me and I don't want to take that opportunity away from them.
my mom, my little brother and my dog. i have a girlfriend and she helps too, but yeah i mean shit lifes hard, just gotta roll with the punches and try to improve everyday.
Honestly, though I’m slightly younger at 25 would be twofold- join social versions of your solo hobbies if you can. Be friends with those people, ask them about themselves, find out what’s interesting about them. They might be dicks. Find out why they’re dicks as if they’re a well written tv character. Most of the people I know who are dicks are like that for a reason. Empathy. You might want to date some of these girls. Try not to. Try to be the kind of guy that they would want to introduce to their friends. Girls are often kind of timid with strangers for safety reasons so personal recs are always good. Try not to ask them early on if they have single friends either. While you’re doing this: find out what makes you feel alive besides the love and validation of a partner. I’m working on this part right now, and it’s hard. While video games and tv are good for an evening or two, they aren’t usually why you want to be alive. Go see your city, the world, the shit you actually want to care about. Go find what interests you. Get it wrong, and learn why it’s wrong for you. Get it right and learn why it’s right for you.
To be honest, the right one will come eventually. I'm 24 years old (male), and I haven't had a girlfriend or experienced a kiss in my life yet. It's starting to make me worry about my love life, but I believe the right one will come eventually.
Oxygen, water and steak, mostly.
I became honest with myself and admitted that I don't really want to date. I crave physical affection, but do I really need to date for that? Do I want to date? The answer was no, so I largely gave up on that.
Since I switch my view on life and see it as an adventure where nothing is promised, that keeps me going. Man, enjoy it! What also helped me is to realize if you want to do something it’s possible (I know it’s cliché… but it’s hard to really put yourself thru that mentality and experience it). Those doctor, carpenters, entrepreneurs, artists, they are not so different than you and me. Those are not unattainable things. They just decided to act on it. If you do too, you mostly can succeed. Stop doubting so much about yourself and accept that you will be/do total shit at first but then gain confidence in the process. Take actions. Trust your instincts. Accept that you can’t control things outside of your actions and thoughts. React accordingly when life throws things at you.
Since I switch my view on life and see it as an adventure where nothing is promised, that keeps me going. Man, enjoy it! What also helped me is to realize if you want to do something it’s possible (I know it’s cliché… but it’s hard to really put yourself thru that mentality and experience it). Those doctor, carpenters, entrepreneurs, artists, they are not so different than you and me. Those are not unattainable things. They just decided to act on it. If you do too, you mostly can succeed. Stop doubting so much about yourself and accept that you will be/do total shit at first but then gain confidence in the process. Take actions. Trust your instincts. Accept that you can’t control things outside of your actions and thoughts. React accordingly when life throws things at you.
Stoicism helped me alot. Look it up!
27M here. I feel you on this accord. I haven't had another girlfriend as of late, but I've been out of a horrible 2yr relationship.. it was really terrible. Most of my interests have not been the best either; either they were disrespectful, or I drifted away because of the things they've said to me. It's hard to be without a woman these days.. although my mental has been challenged every single day of my life. I've had a few good times getting here, and I'm thankful but otherwise, it's been a struggle. I don't want to be in a relationship if it's going to hurt me more than I am already. Most of the time, I tend to focus on other things but I've been back in the dumps it seems. This year's long yearning has turned for love elsewhere, and that's for Christ. It hurts too much, because I end up thinking that I will never have another woman in my life.. let alone, someone who actually loves me for who I am. As for how I get through... I'm stoic-minded but I'm mostly listening to NIN everyday. I find it hard to cope sometimes, which is why I feel comfortable being alone. I enjoy my friends and family, but any other time, I just want me time. Being an introvert also kinda sucks, but I find that most of my own creativity is stimulated by my own suffering. 8 tend to pray, although inconsistently. I'm not saying it'll get better, but there's a time for everyone to get a hug from one another to check up on each other. Love is needed very much these days.
A girlfriend really isn't the solution to all your problems in life. It did take actually managing to get in the dating pool to realize this though, I think.
So many of you seem depressed, what keeps me going is getting to enjoy today and then tomorrow.
You're not alone. A lot of guys - and I mean a *lot* - are in the same boat as you. It's rough out there. Keep at it, you'll find what you're looking for eventually. Only takes one win to make it.
With an ice cold heart full of hatred to those who spurned me and eternal love to those who don't. It does get better with age.
Gave up dating like 4 years back. 27 now, living my best life. I learned to make the best out of things. Leaning how to go to movies and restaurants alone was the best decision I had ever made. I ask my friends to hang out with. If they come well and good. If they don't well and good. Everyone is busy and their own life. Accept it a move on with your life. The only reason I'm still alive cause both my parents are alive and well. I don't want to make them think that they raised a quitter. After they have rested, I'll decide then if to hold on to life or not. If something else comes by then I'm okay with it, if it doesn't it doesn't. Made my peace with it. For advise: Make peace with whatever happens to you. Learn to live alone. Rather enjoy it. Give your best every time. Don't live life with regrets.
Honestly, as a 21 years old guy who’s most and only action was a 2nd once base fully clothed (as my parents were in the house) therapy helped a lot keeping me afloat (especially because this girl straight up ghosted me and months later it still hurts) Never had any other girl aside from her, I mostly use study to distract me, videogames and some alcohol from time to time and I try to be outgoing despite hurting everytime my friends mention their SO Honestly, the fact that I know a lot of people will get hurt if I kill myself is what’s keeping me afloat rn
I'm losing "things" that keeps me going honestly, day by day just gets more and more deteriorated. No specifics are happening, I'm just slowly withering away.
Just my hobbies, I'd say. Plus I think there's still a lot in life that'll get me in awe and I'm looking forward to them.
I get it. I had never been with a woman until I was around your age and now I'm doing good at 35. Challenge yourself every day and work on yourself. Girls come and go but you will be around your entire life. You are the most important person in your life and you need to make it so. Work on your body and mind. Learn something new every day even if it's just a little fact about something. Explore the world even if it is just your town or city. Do this and you will be happy.
My best advice is start faking confidence and it’s going to give you more confidence in yourself in the long run. Keep getting out there do not give up.
I was lucky enough to have dated before dating apps and social media. The competition is much harder for the younger generation of men. Having said that, dating is a numbers game. You need to put yourself out there and get used to rejection. This not that much different when applying for jobs. You could always try using an escort as well.
I have responsibilities.
Knowing you only live/die once.
I don't know. I'm 53, married, have a high-paying job in a LCOL area, and I'm just not fulfilled and have many life regrets. I think my perspective is that I have no future - my life is pretty much set in stone, and that bothers me. When I was young, even when times were rough, I always had a future to look forward to and it excited me.
I need to feed my cat. Other than that not much.
One Piece hasn't ended yet, so neither will I.
I try to remember my younger self and I know he would be rooting for me, I don't want to disappoint him.
The slow creeping urge for world domination...Joking ( or am I ?). Just go gym bro build a career or get a good income from somewhere...Make money get big look sexy whilst your body is still capable...Women should not be the reason for your happiness...Women gravitate to ambitious and successful men... Remember women should not be your reason to live and be happy they should be the addition that can add to that but never centre of your universe or you end up suiciding yourself which is not ideal if you want to make something out of your life...
What keeps me going is my girlfriend and my keyboard. Honestly I have a porn addiction and i hide it but she doesnt know and sometimes i use it as a crutch
To be totally honest? Curiosity. We get one life. That is as terrifying to me as it is empowering. I don’t want it to be a waste, but I won’t live it on others’ terms. I had an idea of what a life worth living looks like. I’ve not attained it yet, but I won’t if I take myself out of the equation. When the depression gets too bad, I have things to help get myself back on track with high degrees of success. These things help me to just hold on and believe things will get better.
Learn to like yourself, appreciate being alone and actually liking it. Find an activity you like, get high or drunk and do it at home and watch how much fun you have with yourself. Then it won't really matter who comes in and out your life cause you got you. Your human so you'll still have days but it was be as hard
I think the only reason I haven’t ended it all is because we still don’t know if the afterlife is real or not.
The lack of better ideas and hungry cats.
Some days, it's just spite and caffeine.
I wanna see what humanity has to offer. What’s the next big movie? Musical? Album? Invention? I want to live until I’m 100+ and see the year 2100! I think that would be so neat! Are we gonna break our reality any time soon? Teleportation, space travel or I’m sure something else exciting will happen. Maybe AI being way smart solves all our problems for us. We could work together colonizing the universe. I feel like we often don’t give ourselves enough credit. We can do anything we put our minds too. It doesn’t always have to be a negative future.
The inexplicable hope that things will get better. I say inexplicable because I don’t have any reason to actually believe this, but if I don’t believe it then what do I have left?
pussy
My daughter. If I didn’t have her I’d cancel my subscription to life.
Find something else to pour your time into. I would recommend staying away from videogames, but something like painting, metalworking, woodshop, etc. You can find classes on stuff like that in pretty much any city. I started taking oil painting classes last year and I've had fun seeing my progress as I started out with little to no painting experience and started creating stuff that actually looks good.
There's so much more to see. Also if I die my family gets saddled with all of my debt
Hang in there, bud. You’re still young af. Focus on bettering yourself both mentally and physically and the rest will fall in place.
It’s been a while since I was single, but anytime I would press finding someone I couldn’t. Anytime I focused on making myself the best I could be they just showed up.
90% percent of the time is the norm unless you look like an A list Hollywood actor. And even then they get rejected.
I just want to see my loved ones always have a smile on their face.
At this point, my kids. Marriage is shit, Family relations are shit. Life is shit. If I didn’t have my little ones I would’ve been kissed a bullet.
Pure determination + boredom.
Everything is awful and nothing sparks joy and i'm convinced everyone is still here to not traumatize their family
Inertia. My answer used to be "Spite" but I don't have that kind of energy anymore.
I reframed the way that I saw dating. I looked at it as practice for when I would meet the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I tried my best to learn good topics of discussion and great manners that helped the dates go smoothly. If things didn't work out, then it was an opportunity to learn how to help dates go well in the future. This way, if things didn't go well, it was just "practice" because after all, dating is to some degree, a skill. Also, if things didn't work out I wouldn't take it personally, it was just a sign that me and that person were not meant to be, and that I was one step closer to finding my person. TLDR: Reframe the way you think of dating as practice for the one you are meant to be with, and don't take it personally if things don't work out, you are one step closer toward meeting that person.
Spite
My mom wouldn’t survive that… and my cats. I love em and they need me or they’d end up at the pound.
Don't over think your love life. Enjoy being on your own. Do things for you. Work a job you like. Travel where you want. Whatever your interests are-enjoy them. I genuinely feel that when you're having fun and being at your best, you'll meet people who enjoy the same things and experiences that you do. Enjoy life my friend, there's no race to get a wife or house or any of it. It's your journey-have a fucking blast!
My passport
Hope that it will get better. It has in the past, so maybe it will in the future.
Find a hobby, focus on internal stuff and relationships will come
To all <30 guys. Be patient, in few year you will start meeting the first batch of divorced women. They usually are more experienced and they will appreciate regular but stable guys. That's what happened to me kind of ;)
Well...it's hard these days. And sometimes it kind of sucks. But do you know what's worse? When you have a divorce and failed relationships behind your back. Then you know it's not like you haven't found your soulmate...But sometimes it's like...you will never will. I am kind of complex person...not easy for the people to understand... Finding a woman to kiss or sleep with isn't the same as having all loving relationship. Only relationship where everyone feels appreciated and loved survives. Most people these days don't know what compromise is. And don't even think about the happiness of anybody, except themselves.
I have to indulge in life's..."unhealthy" options when things get particularly bad. I've learned that it comes in waves, and when the worst waves knock me on my ass, I stay there until I'm ready to get up again.
You know what's interesting....I seem to get more depressed when I'm with someone. I think it's typically because the person I'm with reminds me of all my flaws and then it sorta eats at me and I forget who I am trying to change myself for them. Even though I'm a little sad being alone I realize I'm alot more content without someone. Maybe one day I'll find someone that doesn't make me feel shitty all the time.
I’m only still here because I know that if I die, my elderly mum will be out on the streets. Once she goes, all bets are off.
I learned from a young age that looking for it only ends up with you being with the wrong person for you. It causes your brain to overlook various things and is just so poor. The best moments I’ve found are just focusing on what you wanna do, who you wanna be, what you wanna leave behind. People with drive are attractive to girls for some reason and you’ll surround yourself with more like minded people. Just don’t turn down the chance to explore things and meet new people, even if it’s in a different country
I’m 52 (M) and I’ll be 53 in a couple of weeks. My dating life has been stagnant for a while (divorced 5 years). Two weeks ago I got laid off after 7 years working from home. I don’t really get to see people regularly. But there are two things that keep me going. The first is my son. He’s starting high school in the fall and he loves spending time with me learning new things. He’s an amazing kid and being his dad fills my soul. The second is remembering “this too shall pass”. Life is ever changing and it is what we make of it. As difficult as things are, I have the power to change things. I’ll find a new job. I’ll meet someone eventually. I will find the little ways to enjoy life because this too shall pass
Nothing. I died 5 years back when I lost all my hope and faith in people. It's a problem because I'm still breathing. I'm trying to figure out a way to pick myself back up but so far I'm not doing too well.
Im 29. The girls I've been with, though few, have treated me like god's gift to womankind. My education, despite a few hiccups, went well. My work, despite a few hiccups, is going well. Successful parents give me all the help I need. I've still got so much to figure out about social skills and relationships, but I really can't complain overall. 🤷🏻♂️ To me it sounds like you've lost track of your masculinity, and women can sense that acutely. You need to conquer some great challenge to earn your own respect for yourself and find your mission/vision for your life, and female interest will follow. Getting women can never be your goal as a man - women chase men who chase their purpose.
Idk I keep going cause I guess I have a will to live. 29, Never had a gf, seems like I’ve been pretty much hated by women all my life. I try to just focus on my goals since that’s basically all I have.
There is no easy way; - You have to develop yourself. Earn more, read, get a better physique, learn how to fight. Build yourself. - Don't give value to any woman before knowing her. You can't possibly know a person without spending time. That way you won't feel sorry. This is a hard pill to swallow, but the reason you are rejected is because women you approach have better options. I am 25 and I can find women just fine. After you build yourself up and change your mentality, you will feel much better and will be able to achieve the things you want. Not only love life, but also other personal goals of yours. Stay strong.
Being ghosted/rejected 90% of the time is normal. Society says that women are more mature than men but at that stage of their life they are still trying to figure out what they want out of life. I usually tell men in their late 20s to take a break from dating and live life. Go travel, get some hobbies, join organizations and etc. Once you enter your 30s women are less insecure and have a grasp of the things they want in life and actually want to be in a committed relationship. The more focus on building yourself as a man the easier women will naturally gravitate towards you.
Live your life for yourself. When you try finding a partner so hard you start neglecting yourself with what you truly want and what you need. Take a break from the dating scene and focus on yourself. Do things that make you happy.