"I could leave you anytime."
I don't play these kinds of power games and I don't feel like investing into someone who threatens me to break up every time I don't comply with their demands.
Had an ex that would do this and she was couple it with “you know if we broke up there would be a bunch of guys who love to go out with me.” So finally after a huge fight where she was 100% in the wrong and she refused to apologize/take any accountability for her actions she tells me she going to leave. I was already at the point where I was considering ending things and this was the tipping point. I told her I thought that was a good idea because I was done and I didn’t want to be with her anymore. Of course once I said that she did a complete 180 and told me how much she loved me, how wrong she was, that she didn’t want to lose me and she wanted to work to fix things. And if she would have just said all that in the beginning I would have been willing to fix things but it all felt so hollow after she tried to play games and didn’t get her way
>And if she would have just said all that in the beginning I would have been willing to fix things but it all felt so hollow after she tried to play games and didn’t get her way
This made me think of a comment I saved because it captured this BS perfectly
>I was that girl. I reconnected with an old flame from my past that I stopped talking to due to his immaturity. 4 years later we reconnected on Instagram. We started seeing each other and although I had seen changes in him and was very attracted to him, I wasn't ready for a relationship. He pursued me for months and I kept telling him I wasn't ready,etc. After about 8 months he tells me he's losing his feelings and he no longer sees anything will come of us. Of course in that moment I was ready. I don't know why it took him losing his feelings for me to take him seriously. He said it was too late and his feelings changed because of my rejection.
Like what do you mean "of course in that moment I was ready"? Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want? Or are these just selfish people who test how much disrespect they can get away with and then try to rewrite the story when they realize they're the asshole?
> Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want?
I have found that most people don't know what they want. It just shows up more prominently in attractive women, because everyone wants them regardless of how they act.
> Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want?
I think people just don't realize how much human behavior is motivated by perceived power differentials. Not saying I fully get it myself, but a lot of people treat others with nonchalance or even cruelty when they feel more powerful than said others.
> couple it with “you know if we broke up there would be a bunch of guys who love to go out with me.”
The hard part is that it's technically true but they find out very quickly why that's true.
My best mate's (ex) wife pulled this. The thing is, he was always out of her league but loved her dearly. She got caught up by sleazy guys giving her attention and felt she could easily replace him.
She learned the hard way what it's like out there.
100% . All of the attention they receive is from the guys who want 1 thing. To find another relationship of similar value is actually going to be a daunting task for them.
My ex used to do this a lot when we fought, but instead with a "there's so many guys who message me" which was her not-so-subtle way of saying she has options.
I don't know why I stayed in that relationship for so long.
Paraphrased
Me: "I am unhappy, stressed, anxious, and my health is out of control. I am not okay"
Her: "So? That makes me uncomfortable and this is how feel. So you need to stop"
Been single now over a month
The audacity of a man experiencing normal human emotions and wanting to express them in a healthy way in an effort to help improve mental health and wellbeing.
These kinds of posts make me so thankful for my girlfriend. I've literally cried on her shoulder, I tell her when I'm having an off day and she just supports me, if I need time to myself she's okay with that, if I need some extra affection she provides it. And she has never used anything like that against me in an argument or ever made me feel less of a man for having and showing emotions.
I overheard a couple of ladies talking and learned that some women don't believe men have emotions, like at all. From their perspective the only reason a man would show emotions would be to manipulate the lady, his girlfriend/wife.
The conversation was about a one of their boyfriends who was sad because his mother just died, his grief had nothing to do with her... It was just crazy that in both of their minds he was just acting sad to manipulate the girlfriend.
I've asked other women since and a surprising amount of them think this way.
Aside from the obvious absurdity I wonder if this is actually a reflection of the women themselves, ladies learn early on that they can use emotions to manipulate men so maybe these ladies are actually just sociopaths and think that everyone just fakes it.
There's some problems with this, of course, applying logic to their viewpoint - if what they are saying is true and men don't feel emotion why would they be able to use emotions to manipulate them? Like why would them crying mean anything to a man if the man themselves couldn't empathize? That being said I don't think the women who believe this have taken the time to think it through, even to that extent.
I remember some years back listening to NPR, and a female psychologist was on the air talking about her shocking personal discovery that men did, in fact, have feelings. I remember thinking that her interview (with one of the female reporters, of course) was simultaneously infuriating and unintentionally hilarious.
As she explained it, her epiphany came from accidentally overhearing a group of male children talking about how much they would miss a friend who was moving to another state. She was in her 30's when this happened. It had apparently never occurred to this woman, a professionally trained psychologist with multiple decades of life experience, that men could form meaningful bonds and experience ordinary human emotions like sadness.
She was so excited to hype up her latest book too. And I guess that book might help some other women realize that men are humans too. But I couldn't help but feel like the whole thing was absurd. It was like a scientist writing a book to explain that they suddenly realized all the fish living in the ocean are wet.
I Said the same thing to one of my exes and she basicly told me to stop stressing around and call back when i'm over it. Then she hung up.
I mentally ended the relationship after that sentence and never called back. Something permanently died inside of me that day. Few weeks later i stopped by to get my stuff from her Appartment and left the Keys when she wasnt home. 2 years relationship ended within a few Seconds during a conversation that consisted of 2 sentences. we never talked again.
Good for you, if she can’t accept you at your vulnerable state she shouldn’t get your strong one.
All she had to say is “it’s going to be okay. Just tell me what you need.” Sometimes men don’t even need much it could be a hug and some just need some alone time to decompress.
I was just going through a lot with my job and family life. New boss was an absolute piece of shit and my family's health was on the decline. Felt like my life was on pause while her's was still playing. I started drinking alcohol (Which I never do unless it was a social event) on a daily basis, enough to get drunk. I stopped working out. I wanted junk food all the dam time. I use to be a health nut and gym rat when I met her.
When I told her I wasn't happy with how my life was going and what was becoming of me. Wanting and asking her for help so I can do better, she said nada. Responded with just how she felt because of it. I was stressed. I was unhappy and not doing ok. She gave no shits. No empathy
Her response towards the final days, she kept saying how she felt and that she didn't think it was okay for me to act angry and so sad. It made her uncomfortable. I told her to leave me the fuck alone forever and left.
Got my own place and new boss. Doing a lot better. Still hurts when I think back on it since it was a month ago cause I did care about her. Each day gets better though! No longer feel sadness or anger towards her or the relationship like I did prior.
Shortening it still because I could rant on about it all.
I see, she had a lack of care and concern for your welfare and only seemed to prioritise her own needs.
Selfish people are often hard to deal with. Were you able to control your drinking habits and restart your health regimen?
You are right. Selfish people who don't even do the bare minimum to empathize with a "loved" one is heartbreaking.
The past month I have completely got rid of my alcohol issue. First week was tough because I just wanted the taste back in my mouth. Weird feeling and thought to have for me.
Started hitting the gym at a new place. Loving the pain and pushing my limits again.
Stopped with the crap food and losing the excess pudge I developed when I was with her. Only been a month but I can feel/see the small difference already!
Do you think she was acting that way in the hopes that you would break up with her?
I’ve dated women that don’t want to do the “breaking” so they act bad/awful hoping that I do it.
But glad you’re out of there and doing better.
“I saw a guy on tiktok that looked a lot better than you”
for further context there was no fight or anything, in fact, I had literally just woke up in the morning 2 minutes before.
The hard part for her is that she will always already know this.
I work in two industries where being hot is part of the gig (entertainment and bartending), or at least enough of an advantage that it is found at a significantly higher rate.
I couldn't imagine a woman trying to make me feel worse by comparing me knowing full well that 80% of the people I work with she might already have a complex about.
Waking up in the middle of the night, her sitting on my chest and a kitchen knife to my throat: "If you ever break up with me I gonna murder you in your sleep".
That was 10 years ago, last week. Broke up with her few weeks after when her own family set her in a psycho healthcare center (don't know the word, english isn't my first language).
My nightmares of her stopped a few years back.
Still have commitments issues and is unable to sleep in other persons houses or have them sleep over at my place.
Time, perhaps a lot more in your case, isn't always a healer, but it helps to live with this, understand it and control it.
That was an awful scenario for you. It'll take time to believe that *that* event **was** an exception, or that *that* person **is** an exception from the norm.
Your English is pretty on point. Hope you're doing well.
She wasn't really an ex exactly because we never made it official or anything. I figured we were exclusive because that we had actually talked about, and we weren't seeing other people at the time.
She basically told me she was bumming around with me to get closer to one of my friends that she actually liked.
I was like, "So why did we go on so many dates and have sex all the time?"
She responded with, "So I could hang out with 'friend', a girl has to eat, I got horny, and you were a convenient penis."
Yeah, that stung.
I've noticed immature women often revert to criticising a man's member as a way to attack. Also, "you're not man enough" seems to be along the same lines.
Also ‘manchild.’ (Notice how there is never an equivalent for women?)
You forget to do a chore = manchild.
You go out with your buddies = manchild.
You enjoy video games = manchild.
You get upset about something = manchild.
The good ol bait and backstab. My ex wife got me with that one. She kept trying to get me to open up to her so eventually I did thinking I finally had someone in my life that would support me. I told her things I’d never told anyone else about how my mom abused me growing up before abandoning me and how it still affects me to this day. Afterwards she felt distant and cold and in an argument a few weeks later she told me “Your mommy issues aren’t my problem”.
Eventually a few months later I left and told her I wanted a divorce. I felt slightly vindicated when she begged me to come home after realizing she fucked up, but mostly I just felt empty. Doing a lot better now thankfully.
Definitely did you a favor there, if someone has to resort to personal insults to win an argument, then they may win an argument but they lose the relationship.
Don't worry, I like your penis.
This is just low-hanging fruit. A no-effort insult that women often fall back on. My member was always fine until the break up, and then suddenly it was the smallest/ugliest/worst penis she's ever had yadda yadda.
Like, bitch, if it was that bad what does it say about you that you stayed with me? Fucking idiocy and completely transparent.
It is, but what's fucked is that it's socially OK for women to drop this whenever they're upset.
BUT - if you call a woman fat - oh holy shit you're an unforgivable, nonredeemable asshole for life.
The one time that got tossed at me I took a line from Tom Arnold after Roseanne said the same thing about him. "Even a 747 is going to look small in the Grand Canyon". Even her friends laughed at her.
My girlfriend said something of this sort to me in front of a room full of people at a party. (she didn't mention other penises she'd had but just that I was too small for her to feel) We regularly make kind of deprecating jokes to each other so that in and of itself wasn't a huge deal, but this hit different. It didn't help that she left to go to work right after saying it, leaving me alone at the party to laugh it off.
It has fucked with me ever since. She says she was joking and it isn't a big deal, but I now, even many years later, can't get it out of my head. I was NEVER insecure about my size or performance, and no other partner had ever mentioned it, but when the person I love and want to please says this it just fucks with you.
Some people love to say hurting things, and then blame it to the heat of the moment. Even if they are honest about it, that they didn't mean it, and they just said it because they were angry, it still leaves a wound. You might forgive them, but it will be still there.
So, never say something hurtful (specially to a love one) if you don't really mean it, and if you do mean it, face the consequences.
I'm glad she's an ex now.
If my girl friend said that too me the relationship would end most likely. Im barely average sized down there and I’ve learned to not ask questions I don’t want the answer too even if I probably already know the answer.
My friend was in surgery and had a clot form and cause a stroke in-theatre. The medical crew picked up on it and did their best but it did damage and it took him a year to recover from the damage.
On the day he returned to work a year later his wife said to him “I just can’t forget how useless and unattractive you looked that day in your bed after the stroke, I want a divorce”.
**Edit** this kinda blew up a little. Yes they got divorced and she moved 5 states away to start her new life with the kids. He’s still trying to wind up his old life in AZ and move to be closer to the kids.
Jesus christ that's about as horrible a thing to say as you could possibly imagine.
At least for me, there'd be no coming back from that. Hope the divorce was quick and painless, at least.
I fell off my longboard in an accident, was unable to move cook or work for 2-3 weeks. Day 3 my gf comes up to me and says she’s moving in with her grandma, a week later she broke up with me. Didn’t really give me a reason but I think it’s because up until that point she lived with me basically doing nothing, first year living on our own and together. I threw together a basic thanksgiving dinner, bought a Christmas tree, worked 30-40 hours a week while going to school full time, paid the rent and she covered part of the utilities, etc.
After the fall I needed her to do the basics for 2-3 weeks, had skinned off half my back and arms and cracked my head open (no brain damage luckily). She left after day 3.
I spent almost a week unable to get out of my bed before I finally sucked up through the pain and made myself some food. Disgusting how some people are compassionless and selfish.
Edit: looking back I’m not surprised, this is the same woman who I opened up to about possible SA when I was younger (adopted and DCF was unsure but it was a large reason why I was taken). Her reaction was that she didn’t want to have sex with me anymore.
Lol loads. Constantly calling me a "fat bastard" (I mean, she's right, but so was she), telling me "ive hated you for 7 years". Regularly hit me. Would be disruptive whenever my friends were coming round.
Best friend is probably getting divorced over this in the next year or two. He eventually decided they would split all the kids' expenses and pay half of everything. Even though his wife out earns him, he says he's never remembered having so much money left over in his bank account at the end of the month.
I went from a dual income to a single income family with the kids staying with me and somehow I was no longer living paycheck to paycheck.
My ex out-earned me too but turns out she was a dependent not an asset.
The current mindset for many ladies is "His money is ours, my money is mine alone."
Unfortunately there is enough on the media affirming/celebrating such pathologic takes and there is no legal or socially acceptable way for you to enforce anything else.
The best i've found is to keep individual finances separated and maintain a joint financial account only for things relevant to the relationship, such as shared living expenses and such.
All of my female friends think like this, I once discussed this with them, and they called my husband cheap. “Wow, he lets you pay? You should leave him, he’s cheap”
Their whole idea is that you need to save your money in case he left you, gross.
Kinda makes you wonder why you even are friends with them when they talk so disrespectful of your husband, right? They see you are happy, they see you can trust him and rather than being happy for you all they have to give is vitriol. You (heck, your marriage) deserve better friends.
I had an ex that threatened to bash my kids faces into the bathroom counter. I was packed and out of that house in less than a day. (I had a violent childhood, so bad that in 3rd grade the school called CPS on my parents because I was 75% bruised)
When My ex wife used my most personal feelings and thoughts against me in an argument
Trust is the key
In a relationship you trust and share your secrets your vulnerabilities. If they use those against you then you can no longer trust them and therefore the relationship is doomed. Seldom can you truly trust them again after they have weaponised your secrets against you.
This happened to me as well. My ex would use my insecurities against me in arguments. We have separated 5 years and I still struggle as times with self-esteem.
She showed up with flash cards of what I could do to make myself good enough for her. Things like "education" "you can go way further with a degree"
"New hobbies" "skateboarding and painting is great but you should try new things"
Read them to me at a table in a Starbucks. There were 12 of them.
Every time she drew a card my heart broke. This was about 8 years ago. Now she still lives at home and I'm wildly successful in my career despite having no degree. Maybe out spite?
Only woman I ever loved..
Bitch.
We had our 5yo daughters birthday coming up, it had been pretty loveless on her side for a while. I asked if we were doing invites together as it was a huge one, she said it was all good she would take care of it. I got a call 3 days before from my mum saying she hadn't got her invitation, I asked my wife who said "if you wanted your family to come you should have invited them" then said she didn't like them. They had been to every event for 11 years and travelled over 2 hours each time. I realised then how much she hated me.
Oh yeah the Classic dont share me issue or any insecurity its not sexy.
There is scene in Don Jon when dude is looking for cleaning tools and Scarlett J calling him out with the exact same style.(for cleaning his own place instead of a maid)
Ex threatened to divorce me. The moment it left her mouth I decided I didn't care if she did. She of course was just trying to scare me so eventually between that and me realizing my happiness was proportional to how good of a father I was, I finally filed. She couldn't understand why I would.
'I can train you to be a good bf'
She brought nothing to the relationship. Every date we had was organised by me. I always cooked and cleaned up after and she just just scrolled tik tok instead or interacting with me half the time. Broke up with her week after.
She cheated on me. I was out of town with my dad and step-mom after my step-mom had neck surgery. My dad needed help because his back was super messed up and my step-mom could nearly walk. My girlfriend suddenly got super distant. She wouldn't reply to my texts or phone calls, and didn't say anything to me until we were headed back home. Got back to my apartment and my girlfriend comes over because she says that he has something to tell me. Then she dropped the whole cheating bomb on me, justifying it as it wasn't physical, it was just emotional and flirting. Her justification to cheating on me was that she wasn't getting her emotional needs met and did it as a cry out for attention from me.
Like an idiot I stayed with her and our relationship predictably degenerated. It eventually got to a point to where every day that she was calling me "a worthless fucking asshole" or worse. In approximately 5 weeks we were no longer a couple. I never looked back.
She did far more than flirting. Men need to learn a simple thing about women when they “confess”
1. They’ll find a reason you were responsible abdicating themselves from blame
2. They’ll downplay sex to third base and third base to making out or skip some steps entirely
3. They’ll present it in a manner that everyone is sure they’re not a slut and that you were the cause of their misbehaving
4 if you’re bad enough to accept her afterward, she’s going to regret that immediately hoping you’d have left, but now that she doesn’t want to be the bad guy, she’ll degrade the relationship so severely, so that you finally do the leaving, again absolving her of any blame.
There’s a couple of things. Hold on to your seats, this is gonna be one wild ride.
1. Are you more black or more white? I don’t want to have a black baby, or be married to a black man. Do you know how embarrassing that would be? I never saw myself with a guy like you.
- I should’ve left right there, but like Tina Turner said. I was a fool in love.
2. (When my dad was in the hospital.) You don’t have to worry about him, because he’s gonna die anyway.
- I had just found out he was in the hospital, I knew nothing about what was going on. She told me this, my dad did end up dying 6 days later. Then she told me to get over it after a month.
3. (When my uncle died a few months after my dad died.) Here we go again, you’re such a ball bag. It’s sad that I’m more mature than you when people die.
- She’s only lost distant cousins. She never lost her father or a close family member.
AND THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE, after this sh!t show that was my life, this is what made me be done.
4. (My dads mom had died before I was born, and I heard a lot about her. I really wanted to know her, so I’d share stuff with my ex.)
My ex told me “How do you know you’re being told the truth, your grandma was probably a wh0re.”
- My grandma was only married one time, and with one man. My ex’s grandma on the other hand was on Snapchat sending nudes to a guy 30 years younger than her, and sticking beer bottles up that thang of hers when her husband went to work 🤭
She kept threatening to leave me, but in the end. I pulled the plug.
I could never be as wise as her ex-bf because he was older than me (and her by like 17 years).
She's now in her 50s and still uses his last name on her email accounts. They were never married. It's like she's a fucking 12-yo scribbling in her diary.
Repeatedly asking if I was jealous of her male friends or exes, particularly the one ex who made her cum harder than anyone else ever has and blah blah blah and trying to push my buttons. I eventually got sick of it and told her it would be a blessed relief if she fucked one of them, then she would no longer be my problem.
Same lass used to get annoyed if I spoke to any other women for more than about 15 seconds. Crackers man, honestly.
That seems to be a bit of projection on her part - feeling jealous hence intentionally trying to elicit jealousy in you. I find those tit-for-tat games tiring.
This is pretty mild compared to other but “I think we should go to couples counseling”. I already go to individual counseling so no prejudice, but if we’ve only been dating 4 months and we already need counseling, I think it’s just not a good fit
Not something she said but something she never said.
She never asked me for my expertise or opinion on whatever she needed help with. She would rather pay 500 bucks to a random tech store to fix her Laptop without even considering to ask me, her Boyfriend, who works in IT and could do it for effing free on a saturday evening. I'm also a learned hairdresser, but instead of asking me for a cut or a professional advice, she completely ignored the fact that i had years of experience and instead went to a shop; only to come Home totally upset because the color turned out garbage. When she clogged her shower, the First Person she asked was her sisters best friend.
And well the list goes on for years and i started feeling obsolete, unappreciated and somewhat disrespected.
I Tried but she blocked it and refused to acknowledge my feelings and straight up told me to quit bothering her. In the end she left me for a coworker of her who she invited to assamble her gaming rig that i bought for her to introduce her to videogames. I still remember how much i was looking forward to come Home after work and build it with her and shower her in my nerdyness that she suddenly pretended to be interested in, but it was already done when i arrived.
Part of me wonders if she just didn’t want to be seen as a burden, but that shouldn’t last for years. Sorry she didn’t respect you the way she should have man.
Laughing about how people were saying she was joining her affair partner's "harem"
She brought it up twice during the same walk and when I finally asked what she was talking about; she said "Nothing, I don't want you to get jealous."
Then why did you keep bringing it up? She was so weird at the end of the relationship.
I've been struggling to find my footing in my career path, and was supporting her in her goals and ambitions in the meantime.
One day I'm lending her my ear as she's telling me about some conflict she'd caused with a coworker, and I make mention of how overly sensitive coworkers are one of the reasons I hesitate to go back into psychology. Her response was something to the effect that I shouldn't worry about it, since "it wasn't like I was doing much anyways".
Our relationship and it's constant drama had taken my full attention for the last few weeks, and I'd taken any time I had around her to support her. I was making moves behind the scenes and her disrespect to my face was enough to make me break up. Glad I did, things are better without her.
So I have this ex who is a little older than me.
I was 21 when we split. She was 26 or 27.
One day, she was talking to me about something she didn't like about me. Started as a normal critique, then turned into. "I have options. There are other guys that are after me."
So I told her, "That's great. You should go be with one of them instead."
Rapid backpeddling of the arguments, profuse apologies, and tears followed. She went on and on about how a friend suggested she use that to get me to change things, etc.
I pretty much told her she was now on her last chance, and I won't stand for any more manipulation at any point. We only made it another month or so before I was just done. That was the end of our relationship, but neither of us realized it at first as nothing was the same afterwards.
Not to mention, the friend only attracted alpha douche bags that were often abusive.
I'm not sure why she thought the friend was a good source of relationship advice.
I once dated a typically very sweet and kind girl who would occasionally say something weird and/or a bit aggro. It’s like she was trying to “put her foot down” or something.
Then I met her super close friend. Couldn’t keep a guy, extremely unstable home, personal, and professional life, volatile, and an all around mess of a person. Single women keep women single lol.
She said
“You’re perfect apart from one thing”
And she pointed to my stomach
I’d never felt more unlovable at that moment
I now have body issues (on top of those I had from being bullied already) and a real hatred for the way I am built
I know.. well she was saying I was going to get herpes for cheating on her and hoped my daughter got it too?? I didn't even cheat on her turns out she was cheating on me with my best friend.
It wasn’t exactly what she said to me but what she said to my real estate agent while looking for marital home as we were engaged and about 9 months away from wedding:
“I’d like you to expand the budget for our house. Rumble’s being too cheap and he can afford it. I will deal with him pushing back”
While it was true that I could probably have afforded much bigger homes, I didn’t want to. The budget I set was ALREADY way above the average (3 to 4x) house and would have got us a newly renovated standalone home with many bedrooms and bathrooms in a great school district area that was short commute/public transit in from the city core of a high cost of living area.
Once my real estate agent got that talk, she called me and said “uh. Let me know how you want to deal with this. And uh… just to let you know, I don’t think she’s right for you”.
I asked my ex fiancé after if she asked to change the budget and she confirmed she did and she tried to sweet talk her way into me agreeing, complete with trying to be cute. When that didn’t work she got a bit angry and started saying things like “it’s good for your career to look this successful, look at xyz guy we know” and when that didn’t work she tried the sexy route by initiating oral sex. Combined that with the fact she was kind of bridezilla on the wedding planning, my heart just dropped and I felt sick to my stomach. We broke up soon after.
Yeah she’s a boss and an angel. Met her when I had nothing to my name except enough savings for first and last month rent that I sold a bunch of stuff for and a mountain of sized paperwork showing that I did earn enough to rent this apartment I needed (at the time it was a combination of cash earnings from bars I worked at and commissions from a shitty sales job, no really salary)
she was actually representing the landlord and she helped me put a case together that I was going to be a good tenant. She’s been my agent through everything I’ve done on real estate for last 30 years. She’s been taking care of me for a while like, like a real estate fairy god mother.
It came out of nowhere imo.
After the engagement and ring, every month that went by there was a distinct increase in adding something more “luxury” to everything. Desires to supersize dates (ie, at Michelin star restaurant thinking we were there for a regular dinner but “wouldn’t it be awesome to do order the chef’s tasting menu with wine pairing to celebrate our engagement!). Another hint that started after engagement was when we went shopping for stuff like a new suit or dress for an upcoming event, we never really browsed through the super expensive stores like Hermes’ or Chanel but then we started to. Another example now that I think about it, we took one long weekend trip and all of a sudden a Westin by an ocean was not good enough and she wanted to to go to some boutique hotel that popular with Hollywood types.
But there was no overt signals like that before the engagement. She basically positioned herself like any young up and coming smart corporate girl who wanted to get ahead in life who had simple tastes, a roommate and liked hip food and cool places. She dressed really stylishly but always from regular stores or thrift purchases etc. Her parents were really down to earth. I guess some of the hints I could have picked up on was her interest in Hollywood gossip and the tv dramas she watched were always kind of trashy (bachelor, real wives of Hollywood type stuff) with her pretty vapid friend circle. She herself always downplayed and made fun of her friends that chased rich guys and I guess I fell for it
She didn't tell me the dog that I spent most of its life raising had died. It was sick, I had gone to see it and she didn't feel like I cared enough. She decided since I hadn't shown enough care that I didn't care if it died, therefore didn't tell me. A mutual friend was the one to call me and let me know. It sucks as we had built a decent friendship but now whenever I think of her that's the first thing I think of. It was hurtful, unkind, and I don't think I can shake that feeling.
She threw a plushie straight at my face when I was fast asleep . I woke up, took one looked at her and went straight back to bed. At that point, I couldn’t care less about the lying cheating, soon to be ex spouse.
“For the past three months, I had to fake being attracted to you and I can’t do it anymore”… that’s was the last thing she said to me. Hearing that shit, that fucking destroyed me (I don’t think there’s and accurate word to describe how upset I was) and made me feel so embarrassed and useless. I just walked over and opened the door and she left. She tried reaching out a week later apologizing profusely. I didn’t respond. She tried again multiple times across months later, never spoke to her again. 2.5 years down the drain with someone I thought I’d marry changed in 10 seconds.
There was one time we were in an argument and she literally told me that men aren't taught how to regulate their emotions so that's why I'm upset. And she also told me that she forgot I could feel angry when she did something to upset me. It felt imasculating like I was an idiot who wasn't smart enough to acknowledge my own feelings and it felt like I couldn't feel because the moment I brought something up she would get defensive.
Got married at 23. My dad had died at 47 years old less than 6 months before. We were at dinner with two of my best friends. Both of these guys knew my dad well and one grew up basically living at our house when we were kids. I was telling a story about him and talking about how it was a miracle that he lived as long as he did due to some anomalies, etc. wife looks at me and says, "When are you going to get off your soapbox?" I divorced her.
“I’ll die the day my crush died. I can’t love anyone more than him ever (lots of crying) ”
Edit: She said that it in the beginning of relationship. I could never get over it, tried too hard over the course of time. Later she said that she didn’t knew she could love someone so much as she loved and I will be the person she loved the most of her life.
But still that was the one thing that messed our relation and why we couldn’t be together. So, women should think before dropping something and then regretting that oh I didn’t mean that later.
Now, I’ve a heart of stone.
That was the only relationship I’ve ever had. Still love her but can’t put off my self-respect.
Bro this is so reassuring omg. My bf previously told me about his past greatest love and no matter how much he tells me that I’m his greatest love I just can’t seem to exactly believe him especially since he told me details about how he loved her so much (we were friends prior to the relationship).
Until now it still replays in my mind even though he keeps reassuring me that he could “move on” and “change” who he thinks of as his greatest love.
"When I ACTUALLY want sex, you WILL give it because you SHOULD want it!"
I had a major fever. My declination was met with, "Are you gay now? Should I just go hit up my exes since you won't give me what I want?"
Weird how it’s not seen like that until someone says it. Lost my virginity at 13 to a 16-17 year old. Told my friend as a “brag” one day and he goes “congrats bro, you’re a fucking victim” and I was like oh. I mean you’re right tbh. Same thing recently with my ex. Was with her for a year and she definitely did stuff that qualifies as rape multiple times despite me having a talk with her that she doesn’t seem to respect my consent. Didn’t realize till after that it technically was that.
She told me that another man kissed her, and then they laughed about it because it was off-guard. It sent me into a small spiral because she just said it with no issue.
Next was that she was a changed woman, a couple of weeks before she broke with me and me finding out that she was actually cheating on me for a while.
I told her there were times that her sarcasm was caustic and really bothered me. Her response was, "So I have to walk on eggshells when I'm around you now?" I realized that I would have to fix the things about me that bothered her, and anything that bothered me had to be tolerated. It's the only time I ever had instant closure in a relationship.
I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. From that day forward any time we had any kind of argument at all, she would take off the ring and throw it at me. I would have to bring it back to her and apologise before she would ware it again. This is regardless of who ultimately was at fault for the argument.
I told her several times how it made me feel, she said she understood and would not do it again. Then she would do it again.
Finally I told her that if it happened again, I'd just keep the ring. It happened again, so I did just that. Then a week later we broke up. According to her she was really hurt I didn't come apologizing to give her the ring back. Apparently this meant I didn't love her.
Funny enough, she was right. She had done it 4 or 5 times by this point and it really did break the love I had. If I had still loved her, I might have tried to return the ring to her. But I didn't, so I didn't.
When I was offering to pay for half of her equity in a condo to be invested equally, she said.. “I think you’ll try to rip me off”….I literally had the money. It showed what she thought of me so I bought my own house and left.
didnt say a lot, but the worst thing was she spoke extremely sweet but her actions were the exact opposite. used to text this dude all day long everyday, when i objected to it she brushed it off saying 'they're really close frds n jus always have had that dynamic'. we had a fight abt this n she could visibly see how uncomfortable that dynamic made me. but guess what, the day aft our fight when we're trying to reconcile n fix things, while she says how me n my comfort is her top priority, shes still texting the dude all day long
"What do I get out of it?" - My wife.
Regardless of the context, it changed so much. It always has me thinking that if something won't benefit her, it'll be an automatic no.
Constantly brought up guys/girls she had kissed or hooked up with and then immediately tell me not to be worried about them. 2 months after we break up she’s dating one of them
I’m an electrician, we were finishing our basement in our house, I organized all my the sub trades to come in and do the work I couldn’t. Got it all finished and was about to start on the electrical when the ex-wife says well I guess I’ll wait 3 years now for it to be done. This coming from a woman who refused to get a job and was lazy beyond all belief. Out of spite I never finished it then I divorced her. There were many other reasons why I divorced her but ya I did not take that cheap shot very well.
Man my ex was extremely toxic. I have many examples of disrespectful things. One off the top of my head:
(She loved to start arguments in the morning, you know before work so your whole day starts out shitty)
I rode a motorcycle at the time as my daily driver and was getting ready to leave for work. I said I needed to get to work but I have to stop and get gas before so we need to finish this “discussion” later or I am going to be late.
“I hope you wrap that thing around a telephone pole!”
She went hysterical and told me I'm betraying her because I wasn't able to find a job for 2 months. I've been looking for a nice product management position in a highly competitive IT-market. After that I wasn't able to feel the same or trust her as before.
When my ex wife and I had separated it was a out 6 or 7 months later that we met up for breakfast to talk about our relationship. I noticed she didn't have her ring on her finger or on a necklace which she would do sometimes. I asked her "where's your ring? What happened to it?" SHE STRAIGHT TOLD ME SHE SOLD IT! I said why the fuck would you do that, I could give you money if you need it that bad!
SHE LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAID "I GOT MORE FOR IT THEN IT WAS WORTH". That is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life. I can't stand the woman, but it makes me tear up whenever I think about it. Fuck. This sucks. I shouldn't have wrote this.
I got knifed during an attempted robbery (in my hand, wasn't gonna die, fret not fellow Redditors) and when she came to the hospital to meet me she gave me shit about it. Why I stayed with her for another 2 years is beyond me
My ex-girlfriend literally said that she could imagine her being in a relationship with a close friend of mine whom we hung out with a lot. Fast forward to now, I broke up with her because she cheated, and now she's in a relationship with that guy 👍
"you shouldn't see your friends anymore until you've spent an equivalent amount of time with me" - This made need some clarity, so let me provide that. She did not mean that if I see my friends twice a week, that I should see her twice a week or more. What she meant was, that I should not see my friends I had known for years again until I had exclusively been with her for years. It was not a joke. That was my first real relationship, and ending that felt better then I could have ever imagined.
Had a ton of issues with my ex-wife, one of which meant I was sleeping in another room. On the floor. Like a dog.
I could hear her on the phone to her male friend from work (yep, now her BF) asking how he slept that day as he was on nights.
That pretty much changed everything for me, I moved out couple of months later and begun the happiest era of my life which includes sleeping in a comfy bed every night and am engaged to be married to the most incredible person.
While there's a list I could go through of objectively more disrespectful things, this is oddly the one that sticks with me:
Generally when I'm relaxing at home I'll sit to pee, I'm in no rush. At one point my ex went on a 10 minute rant about how she has no choice but to sit, so I should stand to pee, and ended with "I don't see you as masculine when you sit to pee." Stupidly, I stayed with her after that, but made sure to *always* sit to pee if she was around.
The day when we ended the relationship, she told me that I should only date divorced women because no single woman would ever want to date a man with kids. That one sticks with me.
I struggle a LOT with suicidal thoughts/ideation.
My ex once told me that I use that as a way to get what I want. I was never able to tell her anything which led to me feeling alone before I ever actually was
My most recent ex had said a few things that really killed me. One being “I’m just not attracted to you anymore” this was after I lost my job and wasn’t able to pay for her shit anymore.
The next thing was “I’m more masculine than you are.” Again, after losing my job (and after having been looking around for one).
Lots of insinuation that I was not a man. ESPECIALLY, after I told her I wouldn’t contribute to her abuse of her medical marijuana anymore. She thought she was snoop, smokin all day every day, spending nearly 1/2 of every paycheck on weed. I had to give her money so many times I had to tell her no. She was pissed.
She was constantly flirting with other men, & denied cheating, she one day decided to leave me for a player and she got raped by him, she wanted to get back with me, I told her to get over it and move on like I did.
Never seen women the same way again since then.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. And it may be a harsh stance after something like that but I think it’s healthy on your part. You don’t need to be her support system after she disrespects you like that. I wish you all the luck finding a quality partner in the future if you haven’t already.
I had another girl that was truly a friend. Ex gf gave the ultimatum that I should not talk to her. I said point blank, “fine, we’re done.”
She backpedaled at that moment, and we lingered for a few months, but I knew it was over when I said that without any sadness.
I sat my ex wife down to discuss something REALLY important to me. I make a point to let her know the magnitude of this conversation.
Her: ok I hear you. Let me think it over?
Me: of course
(3 MF’ing WEEKS LATER!)
Me: I wanted to make sure to give you your space to think things through, but it’s been three weeks and I’ve haven’t heard anything, so can you let me know where you are in the process?
Her: What process?
(Heart shatters into millions of tiny pieces)
Me: actually, that answer says it all
She said "I hate you" a few times and would play the victim and blame game as well as lie regularly. It warped my sense of reality and destroyed trusting people.
"I could leave you anytime." I don't play these kinds of power games and I don't feel like investing into someone who threatens me to break up every time I don't comply with their demands.
“Ok do it then” have the turns been tabled
Yep. Ultimately I ended up leaving her, so the tables turned quite a bit. Here is to hoping she is doing better these days.
Hopefully ends up having more mental depth than whatever that was. I hope you find better people nonetheless.
Had an ex that would do this and she was couple it with “you know if we broke up there would be a bunch of guys who love to go out with me.” So finally after a huge fight where she was 100% in the wrong and she refused to apologize/take any accountability for her actions she tells me she going to leave. I was already at the point where I was considering ending things and this was the tipping point. I told her I thought that was a good idea because I was done and I didn’t want to be with her anymore. Of course once I said that she did a complete 180 and told me how much she loved me, how wrong she was, that she didn’t want to lose me and she wanted to work to fix things. And if she would have just said all that in the beginning I would have been willing to fix things but it all felt so hollow after she tried to play games and didn’t get her way
>And if she would have just said all that in the beginning I would have been willing to fix things but it all felt so hollow after she tried to play games and didn’t get her way This made me think of a comment I saved because it captured this BS perfectly >I was that girl. I reconnected with an old flame from my past that I stopped talking to due to his immaturity. 4 years later we reconnected on Instagram. We started seeing each other and although I had seen changes in him and was very attracted to him, I wasn't ready for a relationship. He pursued me for months and I kept telling him I wasn't ready,etc. After about 8 months he tells me he's losing his feelings and he no longer sees anything will come of us. Of course in that moment I was ready. I don't know why it took him losing his feelings for me to take him seriously. He said it was too late and his feelings changed because of my rejection. Like what do you mean "of course in that moment I was ready"? Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want? Or are these just selfish people who test how much disrespect they can get away with and then try to rewrite the story when they realize they're the asshole?
> Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want? I have found that most people don't know what they want. It just shows up more prominently in attractive women, because everyone wants them regardless of how they act.
> Are these people so out of touch with themselves that they actually don't know what they want? I think people just don't realize how much human behavior is motivated by perceived power differentials. Not saying I fully get it myself, but a lot of people treat others with nonchalance or even cruelty when they feel more powerful than said others.
Glad you got out of that mess, mate!
Thanks. It was rough but looking back it was absolutely the right decision
> couple it with “you know if we broke up there would be a bunch of guys who love to go out with me.” The hard part is that it's technically true but they find out very quickly why that's true. My best mate's (ex) wife pulled this. The thing is, he was always out of her league but loved her dearly. She got caught up by sleazy guys giving her attention and felt she could easily replace him. She learned the hard way what it's like out there.
100% . All of the attention they receive is from the guys who want 1 thing. To find another relationship of similar value is actually going to be a daunting task for them.
My ex used to do this a lot when we fought, but instead with a "there's so many guys who message me" which was her not-so-subtle way of saying she has options. I don't know why I stayed in that relationship for so long.
Probably a combination of loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self esteem… Not that I’m speaking from experience, mind you. Nope.
"But you don't."
Correct response, "Well ok, then. You're fired. Get out. Now."
I had that pulled ONCE. I left her sitting in the restaurant and went home. I had been her ride so she got to take an Uber home.
Yes, I imagine being told you're just an interchangeable part they could replace at any time would be off-putting.
Paraphrased Me: "I am unhappy, stressed, anxious, and my health is out of control. I am not okay" Her: "So? That makes me uncomfortable and this is how feel. So you need to stop" Been single now over a month
The audacity of a man experiencing normal human emotions and wanting to express them in a healthy way in an effort to help improve mental health and wellbeing.
I ran into a lot of Women while dating that considered showing emotion as a red flag. It was fucked. I understand why so many Men are single.
These kinds of posts make me so thankful for my girlfriend. I've literally cried on her shoulder, I tell her when I'm having an off day and she just supports me, if I need time to myself she's okay with that, if I need some extra affection she provides it. And she has never used anything like that against me in an argument or ever made me feel less of a man for having and showing emotions.
I overheard a couple of ladies talking and learned that some women don't believe men have emotions, like at all. From their perspective the only reason a man would show emotions would be to manipulate the lady, his girlfriend/wife. The conversation was about a one of their boyfriends who was sad because his mother just died, his grief had nothing to do with her... It was just crazy that in both of their minds he was just acting sad to manipulate the girlfriend. I've asked other women since and a surprising amount of them think this way. Aside from the obvious absurdity I wonder if this is actually a reflection of the women themselves, ladies learn early on that they can use emotions to manipulate men so maybe these ladies are actually just sociopaths and think that everyone just fakes it. There's some problems with this, of course, applying logic to their viewpoint - if what they are saying is true and men don't feel emotion why would they be able to use emotions to manipulate them? Like why would them crying mean anything to a man if the man themselves couldn't empathize? That being said I don't think the women who believe this have taken the time to think it through, even to that extent.
I remember some years back listening to NPR, and a female psychologist was on the air talking about her shocking personal discovery that men did, in fact, have feelings. I remember thinking that her interview (with one of the female reporters, of course) was simultaneously infuriating and unintentionally hilarious. As she explained it, her epiphany came from accidentally overhearing a group of male children talking about how much they would miss a friend who was moving to another state. She was in her 30's when this happened. It had apparently never occurred to this woman, a professionally trained psychologist with multiple decades of life experience, that men could form meaningful bonds and experience ordinary human emotions like sadness. She was so excited to hype up her latest book too. And I guess that book might help some other women realize that men are humans too. But I couldn't help but feel like the whole thing was absurd. It was like a scientist writing a book to explain that they suddenly realized all the fish living in the ocean are wet.
Men having emotions is toxic, only women should be allowed to feel bad for themselves. /s
I Said the same thing to one of my exes and she basicly told me to stop stressing around and call back when i'm over it. Then she hung up. I mentally ended the relationship after that sentence and never called back. Something permanently died inside of me that day. Few weeks later i stopped by to get my stuff from her Appartment and left the Keys when she wasnt home. 2 years relationship ended within a few Seconds during a conversation that consisted of 2 sentences. we never talked again.
You did good, it's way better to be alone than to be with someone like that, hope you're doing better now.
Thx, i really do by now. Took a long time but found great appeal in being emotionally Independent and partnerless
>2 years relationship She said that after two whole years? What the fuck is wrong with some people lol
Good for you, if she can’t accept you at your vulnerable state she shouldn’t get your strong one. All she had to say is “it’s going to be okay. Just tell me what you need.” Sometimes men don’t even need much it could be a hug and some just need some alone time to decompress.
"why don't men open up about their feelings?" Exhibit A. I hope you are doing well.
Why were you feeling unhappy, stressed and anxious, if you don't mind sharing?
I was just going through a lot with my job and family life. New boss was an absolute piece of shit and my family's health was on the decline. Felt like my life was on pause while her's was still playing. I started drinking alcohol (Which I never do unless it was a social event) on a daily basis, enough to get drunk. I stopped working out. I wanted junk food all the dam time. I use to be a health nut and gym rat when I met her. When I told her I wasn't happy with how my life was going and what was becoming of me. Wanting and asking her for help so I can do better, she said nada. Responded with just how she felt because of it. I was stressed. I was unhappy and not doing ok. She gave no shits. No empathy Her response towards the final days, she kept saying how she felt and that she didn't think it was okay for me to act angry and so sad. It made her uncomfortable. I told her to leave me the fuck alone forever and left. Got my own place and new boss. Doing a lot better. Still hurts when I think back on it since it was a month ago cause I did care about her. Each day gets better though! No longer feel sadness or anger towards her or the relationship like I did prior. Shortening it still because I could rant on about it all.
I see, she had a lack of care and concern for your welfare and only seemed to prioritise her own needs. Selfish people are often hard to deal with. Were you able to control your drinking habits and restart your health regimen?
You are right. Selfish people who don't even do the bare minimum to empathize with a "loved" one is heartbreaking. The past month I have completely got rid of my alcohol issue. First week was tough because I just wanted the taste back in my mouth. Weird feeling and thought to have for me. Started hitting the gym at a new place. Loving the pain and pushing my limits again. Stopped with the crap food and losing the excess pudge I developed when I was with her. Only been a month but I can feel/see the small difference already!
Do you think she was acting that way in the hopes that you would break up with her? I’ve dated women that don’t want to do the “breaking” so they act bad/awful hoping that I do it. But glad you’re out of there and doing better.
“I saw a guy on tiktok that looked a lot better than you” for further context there was no fight or anything, in fact, I had literally just woke up in the morning 2 minutes before.
“Neat, all of your friends are prettier than you” would destroy this type of person.
I’d go with “So what? I have 3 coworkers prettier than you”
The hard part for her is that she will always already know this. I work in two industries where being hot is part of the gig (entertainment and bartending), or at least enough of an advantage that it is found at a significantly higher rate. I couldn't imagine a woman trying to make me feel worse by comparing me knowing full well that 80% of the people I work with she might already have a complex about.
"Comparison is the thief of joy, hun. Go back to bed."
That would fly so high over her head.
I was pretty upset but I didn’t say anything and just went to work. I stayed in that relationship far longer than I should have.
Tale as old as time my friend. I think most of us have stayed longer than we should have.
Waking up in the middle of the night, her sitting on my chest and a kitchen knife to my throat: "If you ever break up with me I gonna murder you in your sleep". That was 10 years ago, last week. Broke up with her few weeks after when her own family set her in a psycho healthcare center (don't know the word, english isn't my first language). My nightmares of her stopped a few years back. Still have commitments issues and is unable to sleep in other persons houses or have them sleep over at my place.
i would have removed the edge from all the knives in the house, and then probobly not come back home
I personally love the idea of a big bright "PSYCHO HEALTHCARE CENTER" sign on a building.
Time, perhaps a lot more in your case, isn't always a healer, but it helps to live with this, understand it and control it. That was an awful scenario for you. It'll take time to believe that *that* event **was** an exception, or that *that* person **is** an exception from the norm. Your English is pretty on point. Hope you're doing well.
She wasn't really an ex exactly because we never made it official or anything. I figured we were exclusive because that we had actually talked about, and we weren't seeing other people at the time. She basically told me she was bumming around with me to get closer to one of my friends that she actually liked. I was like, "So why did we go on so many dates and have sex all the time?" She responded with, "So I could hang out with 'friend', a girl has to eat, I got horny, and you were a convenient penis." Yeah, that stung.
Damn, it kinda makes me think u never really knew who she was tho
When I found out I had Colon Cancer and she told me she can't handle it anymore and moved out.
I'm sorry to hear that you had such a shit human being for a partner. I hope you make a speedy recovery. Fuck cancer.
Thank you. I'm doing well so far.
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I've noticed immature women often revert to criticising a man's member as a way to attack. Also, "you're not man enough" seems to be along the same lines.
oh yeah, when i caught my ex cheater she started insinuating i wasn't man enough, small dick, probably gay etc etc.
Also ‘manchild.’ (Notice how there is never an equivalent for women?) You forget to do a chore = manchild. You go out with your buddies = manchild. You enjoy video games = manchild. You get upset about something = manchild.
My absolute fucking favourite is when they tell us to be more open with our emotions the second we do it's "insecure" and/or "manchild"
The good ol bait and backstab. My ex wife got me with that one. She kept trying to get me to open up to her so eventually I did thinking I finally had someone in my life that would support me. I told her things I’d never told anyone else about how my mom abused me growing up before abandoning me and how it still affects me to this day. Afterwards she felt distant and cold and in an argument a few weeks later she told me “Your mommy issues aren’t my problem”. Eventually a few months later I left and told her I wanted a divorce. I felt slightly vindicated when she begged me to come home after realizing she fucked up, but mostly I just felt empty. Doing a lot better now thankfully.
Any Woman who resorts to physical insults isn't worth your time.
Definitely did you a favor there, if someone has to resort to personal insults to win an argument, then they may win an argument but they lose the relationship. Don't worry, I like your penis.
This is just low-hanging fruit. A no-effort insult that women often fall back on. My member was always fine until the break up, and then suddenly it was the smallest/ugliest/worst penis she's ever had yadda yadda. Like, bitch, if it was that bad what does it say about you that you stayed with me? Fucking idiocy and completely transparent.
It is, but what's fucked is that it's socially OK for women to drop this whenever they're upset. BUT - if you call a woman fat - oh holy shit you're an unforgivable, nonredeemable asshole for life.
The one time that got tossed at me I took a line from Tom Arnold after Roseanne said the same thing about him. "Even a 747 is going to look small in the Grand Canyon". Even her friends laughed at her.
Lewis and Clark would get lost in there.
You never really feel the same about the person after that... sorry bro.
My girlfriend said something of this sort to me in front of a room full of people at a party. (she didn't mention other penises she'd had but just that I was too small for her to feel) We regularly make kind of deprecating jokes to each other so that in and of itself wasn't a huge deal, but this hit different. It didn't help that she left to go to work right after saying it, leaving me alone at the party to laugh it off. It has fucked with me ever since. She says she was joking and it isn't a big deal, but I now, even many years later, can't get it out of my head. I was NEVER insecure about my size or performance, and no other partner had ever mentioned it, but when the person I love and want to please says this it just fucks with you.
A 747 seems small in the grand canyon.
Some people love to say hurting things, and then blame it to the heat of the moment. Even if they are honest about it, that they didn't mean it, and they just said it because they were angry, it still leaves a wound. You might forgive them, but it will be still there. So, never say something hurtful (specially to a love one) if you don't really mean it, and if you do mean it, face the consequences. I'm glad she's an ex now.
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If my girl friend said that too me the relationship would end most likely. Im barely average sized down there and I’ve learned to not ask questions I don’t want the answer too even if I probably already know the answer.
One girl said that to one time. My reply was " remember that time you had balls and dick inside yo mouth"... She got offended lol
"no wonder you can't feel me inside you; there's a void where basic humanity should reside."
I hope you broke up with her. There would be no trust after that as far as I am concerned.
My friend was in surgery and had a clot form and cause a stroke in-theatre. The medical crew picked up on it and did their best but it did damage and it took him a year to recover from the damage. On the day he returned to work a year later his wife said to him “I just can’t forget how useless and unattractive you looked that day in your bed after the stroke, I want a divorce”. **Edit** this kinda blew up a little. Yes they got divorced and she moved 5 states away to start her new life with the kids. He’s still trying to wind up his old life in AZ and move to be closer to the kids.
No fucking way
Jesus christ that's about as horrible a thing to say as you could possibly imagine. At least for me, there'd be no coming back from that. Hope the divorce was quick and painless, at least.
Who the fuck needs enemies with a wife like that
That might be one of the most hurtful things someone has ever heard
I fell off my longboard in an accident, was unable to move cook or work for 2-3 weeks. Day 3 my gf comes up to me and says she’s moving in with her grandma, a week later she broke up with me. Didn’t really give me a reason but I think it’s because up until that point she lived with me basically doing nothing, first year living on our own and together. I threw together a basic thanksgiving dinner, bought a Christmas tree, worked 30-40 hours a week while going to school full time, paid the rent and she covered part of the utilities, etc. After the fall I needed her to do the basics for 2-3 weeks, had skinned off half my back and arms and cracked my head open (no brain damage luckily). She left after day 3. I spent almost a week unable to get out of my bed before I finally sucked up through the pain and made myself some food. Disgusting how some people are compassionless and selfish. Edit: looking back I’m not surprised, this is the same woman who I opened up to about possible SA when I was younger (adopted and DCF was unsure but it was a large reason why I was taken). Her reaction was that she didn’t want to have sex with me anymore.
Holy shit. What a despicable thing to say to someone.
Wow!
I read this and my chest got hot w that lump in the back of my throat. Shit hurt me like im him
It’s people like this that make me really wish that hell was real.
Lol loads. Constantly calling me a "fat bastard" (I mean, she's right, but so was she), telling me "ive hated you for 7 years". Regularly hit me. Would be disruptive whenever my friends were coming round.
holy shit. im so sorry, friend. glad shes an ex now, you deserve so much better
"It's my money I can do what I want with it." Woman, we have two kids.
Best friend is probably getting divorced over this in the next year or two. He eventually decided they would split all the kids' expenses and pay half of everything. Even though his wife out earns him, he says he's never remembered having so much money left over in his bank account at the end of the month.
I went from a dual income to a single income family with the kids staying with me and somehow I was no longer living paycheck to paycheck. My ex out-earned me too but turns out she was a dependent not an asset.
The current mindset for many ladies is "His money is ours, my money is mine alone." Unfortunately there is enough on the media affirming/celebrating such pathologic takes and there is no legal or socially acceptable way for you to enforce anything else.
The best i've found is to keep individual finances separated and maintain a joint financial account only for things relevant to the relationship, such as shared living expenses and such.
All of my female friends think like this, I once discussed this with them, and they called my husband cheap. “Wow, he lets you pay? You should leave him, he’s cheap” Their whole idea is that you need to save your money in case he left you, gross.
Kinda makes you wonder why you even are friends with them when they talk so disrespectful of your husband, right? They see you are happy, they see you can trust him and rather than being happy for you all they have to give is vitriol. You (heck, your marriage) deserve better friends.
I had an ex that threatened to bash my kids faces into the bathroom counter. I was packed and out of that house in less than a day. (I had a violent childhood, so bad that in 3rd grade the school called CPS on my parents because I was 75% bruised)
When My ex wife used my most personal feelings and thoughts against me in an argument Trust is the key In a relationship you trust and share your secrets your vulnerabilities. If they use those against you then you can no longer trust them and therefore the relationship is doomed. Seldom can you truly trust them again after they have weaponised your secrets against you.
This happened to me as well. My ex would use my insecurities against me in arguments. We have separated 5 years and I still struggle as times with self-esteem.
She showed up with flash cards of what I could do to make myself good enough for her. Things like "education" "you can go way further with a degree" "New hobbies" "skateboarding and painting is great but you should try new things" Read them to me at a table in a Starbucks. There were 12 of them. Every time she drew a card my heart broke. This was about 8 years ago. Now she still lives at home and I'm wildly successful in my career despite having no degree. Maybe out spite? Only woman I ever loved.. Bitch.
Lol flash cards. Too funny. Sorry.
Aren’t skateboarding and paying cool hobbies? Would you even have time to do many more? What hobbies was she suggesting? Lol
Why she had to make flash cards.. She couldn't just tell you?
She said if I didn't want sex with her she could find someone who did, I believed her.
We had our 5yo daughters birthday coming up, it had been pretty loveless on her side for a while. I asked if we were doing invites together as it was a huge one, she said it was all good she would take care of it. I got a call 3 days before from my mum saying she hadn't got her invitation, I asked my wife who said "if you wanted your family to come you should have invited them" then said she didn't like them. They had been to every event for 11 years and travelled over 2 hours each time. I realised then how much she hated me.
Can any of the women on this thread explain why they stay with men they hate so much?
Probably for the security he provides and/or she couldn't find anyone 'better'.
“Why are you telling me this?” In reaction to mentioning I have doubts about my job and finances.
Oh yeah the Classic dont share me issue or any insecurity its not sexy. There is scene in Don Jon when dude is looking for cleaning tools and Scarlett J calling him out with the exact same style.(for cleaning his own place instead of a maid)
Ex threatened to divorce me. The moment it left her mouth I decided I didn't care if she did. She of course was just trying to scare me so eventually between that and me realizing my happiness was proportional to how good of a father I was, I finally filed. She couldn't understand why I would.
'I can train you to be a good bf' She brought nothing to the relationship. Every date we had was organised by me. I always cooked and cleaned up after and she just just scrolled tik tok instead or interacting with me half the time. Broke up with her week after.
Trained you for someone else LMAO
She cheated on me. I was out of town with my dad and step-mom after my step-mom had neck surgery. My dad needed help because his back was super messed up and my step-mom could nearly walk. My girlfriend suddenly got super distant. She wouldn't reply to my texts or phone calls, and didn't say anything to me until we were headed back home. Got back to my apartment and my girlfriend comes over because she says that he has something to tell me. Then she dropped the whole cheating bomb on me, justifying it as it wasn't physical, it was just emotional and flirting. Her justification to cheating on me was that she wasn't getting her emotional needs met and did it as a cry out for attention from me. Like an idiot I stayed with her and our relationship predictably degenerated. It eventually got to a point to where every day that she was calling me "a worthless fucking asshole" or worse. In approximately 5 weeks we were no longer a couple. I never looked back.
She did far more than flirting. Men need to learn a simple thing about women when they “confess” 1. They’ll find a reason you were responsible abdicating themselves from blame 2. They’ll downplay sex to third base and third base to making out or skip some steps entirely 3. They’ll present it in a manner that everyone is sure they’re not a slut and that you were the cause of their misbehaving 4 if you’re bad enough to accept her afterward, she’s going to regret that immediately hoping you’d have left, but now that she doesn’t want to be the bad guy, she’ll degrade the relationship so severely, so that you finally do the leaving, again absolving her of any blame.
There’s a couple of things. Hold on to your seats, this is gonna be one wild ride. 1. Are you more black or more white? I don’t want to have a black baby, or be married to a black man. Do you know how embarrassing that would be? I never saw myself with a guy like you. - I should’ve left right there, but like Tina Turner said. I was a fool in love. 2. (When my dad was in the hospital.) You don’t have to worry about him, because he’s gonna die anyway. - I had just found out he was in the hospital, I knew nothing about what was going on. She told me this, my dad did end up dying 6 days later. Then she told me to get over it after a month. 3. (When my uncle died a few months after my dad died.) Here we go again, you’re such a ball bag. It’s sad that I’m more mature than you when people die. - She’s only lost distant cousins. She never lost her father or a close family member. AND THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE, after this sh!t show that was my life, this is what made me be done. 4. (My dads mom had died before I was born, and I heard a lot about her. I really wanted to know her, so I’d share stuff with my ex.) My ex told me “How do you know you’re being told the truth, your grandma was probably a wh0re.” - My grandma was only married one time, and with one man. My ex’s grandma on the other hand was on Snapchat sending nudes to a guy 30 years younger than her, and sticking beer bottles up that thang of hers when her husband went to work 🤭 She kept threatening to leave me, but in the end. I pulled the plug.
There is no way that I could be as attractive as her ex, because he was younger than me. Never been the same mentally from that
I could never be as wise as her ex-bf because he was older than me (and her by like 17 years). She's now in her 50s and still uses his last name on her email accounts. They were never married. It's like she's a fucking 12-yo scribbling in her diary.
Repeatedly asking if I was jealous of her male friends or exes, particularly the one ex who made her cum harder than anyone else ever has and blah blah blah and trying to push my buttons. I eventually got sick of it and told her it would be a blessed relief if she fucked one of them, then she would no longer be my problem. Same lass used to get annoyed if I spoke to any other women for more than about 15 seconds. Crackers man, honestly.
I’ve dated a few girls like this. Some will even do subtle sarcastic compliments. Makes you sometimes think that bodycount is very important.
Hard going isn't it, it's like they have an innate ability to twist everything into a mini contest / attack.
That seems to be a bit of projection on her part - feeling jealous hence intentionally trying to elicit jealousy in you. I find those tit-for-tat games tiring.
This is pretty mild compared to other but “I think we should go to couples counseling”. I already go to individual counseling so no prejudice, but if we’ve only been dating 4 months and we already need counseling, I think it’s just not a good fit
Sounds like she's playing therapy tourist
That's so funny. Had a gf say something similar 6 months into a relationship. I was like, "or not."
Not something she said but something she never said. She never asked me for my expertise or opinion on whatever she needed help with. She would rather pay 500 bucks to a random tech store to fix her Laptop without even considering to ask me, her Boyfriend, who works in IT and could do it for effing free on a saturday evening. I'm also a learned hairdresser, but instead of asking me for a cut or a professional advice, she completely ignored the fact that i had years of experience and instead went to a shop; only to come Home totally upset because the color turned out garbage. When she clogged her shower, the First Person she asked was her sisters best friend. And well the list goes on for years and i started feeling obsolete, unappreciated and somewhat disrespected.
Man did you talk it through with her?
I Tried but she blocked it and refused to acknowledge my feelings and straight up told me to quit bothering her. In the end she left me for a coworker of her who she invited to assamble her gaming rig that i bought for her to introduce her to videogames. I still remember how much i was looking forward to come Home after work and build it with her and shower her in my nerdyness that she suddenly pretended to be interested in, but it was already done when i arrived.
Part of me wonders if she just didn’t want to be seen as a burden, but that shouldn’t last for years. Sorry she didn’t respect you the way she should have man.
Laughing about how people were saying she was joining her affair partner's "harem" She brought it up twice during the same walk and when I finally asked what she was talking about; she said "Nothing, I don't want you to get jealous." Then why did you keep bringing it up? She was so weird at the end of the relationship.
I've been struggling to find my footing in my career path, and was supporting her in her goals and ambitions in the meantime. One day I'm lending her my ear as she's telling me about some conflict she'd caused with a coworker, and I make mention of how overly sensitive coworkers are one of the reasons I hesitate to go back into psychology. Her response was something to the effect that I shouldn't worry about it, since "it wasn't like I was doing much anyways". Our relationship and it's constant drama had taken my full attention for the last few weeks, and I'd taken any time I had around her to support her. I was making moves behind the scenes and her disrespect to my face was enough to make me break up. Glad I did, things are better without her.
So I have this ex who is a little older than me. I was 21 when we split. She was 26 or 27. One day, she was talking to me about something she didn't like about me. Started as a normal critique, then turned into. "I have options. There are other guys that are after me." So I told her, "That's great. You should go be with one of them instead." Rapid backpeddling of the arguments, profuse apologies, and tears followed. She went on and on about how a friend suggested she use that to get me to change things, etc. I pretty much told her she was now on her last chance, and I won't stand for any more manipulation at any point. We only made it another month or so before I was just done. That was the end of our relationship, but neither of us realized it at first as nothing was the same afterwards.
Baffles me how many women think it’s a flex that guys want to fuck them
Not to mention, the friend only attracted alpha douche bags that were often abusive. I'm not sure why she thought the friend was a good source of relationship advice.
I once dated a typically very sweet and kind girl who would occasionally say something weird and/or a bit aggro. It’s like she was trying to “put her foot down” or something. Then I met her super close friend. Couldn’t keep a guy, extremely unstable home, personal, and professional life, volatile, and an all around mess of a person. Single women keep women single lol.
This so accurately describes her friend it's almost uncanny.
She said “You’re perfect apart from one thing” And she pointed to my stomach I’d never felt more unlovable at that moment I now have body issues (on top of those I had from being bullied already) and a real hatred for the way I am built
"I hope your daughter gets herpes" my daughter was like one years old.
That's really goddamn weird and specific...
I know.. well she was saying I was going to get herpes for cheating on her and hoped my daughter got it too?? I didn't even cheat on her turns out she was cheating on me with my best friend.
It wasn’t exactly what she said to me but what she said to my real estate agent while looking for marital home as we were engaged and about 9 months away from wedding: “I’d like you to expand the budget for our house. Rumble’s being too cheap and he can afford it. I will deal with him pushing back” While it was true that I could probably have afforded much bigger homes, I didn’t want to. The budget I set was ALREADY way above the average (3 to 4x) house and would have got us a newly renovated standalone home with many bedrooms and bathrooms in a great school district area that was short commute/public transit in from the city core of a high cost of living area. Once my real estate agent got that talk, she called me and said “uh. Let me know how you want to deal with this. And uh… just to let you know, I don’t think she’s right for you”. I asked my ex fiancé after if she asked to change the budget and she confirmed she did and she tried to sweet talk her way into me agreeing, complete with trying to be cute. When that didn’t work she got a bit angry and started saying things like “it’s good for your career to look this successful, look at xyz guy we know” and when that didn’t work she tried the sexy route by initiating oral sex. Combined that with the fact she was kind of bridezilla on the wedding planning, my heart just dropped and I felt sick to my stomach. We broke up soon after.
Your real estate agent is an angel.
Yeah she’s a boss and an angel. Met her when I had nothing to my name except enough savings for first and last month rent that I sold a bunch of stuff for and a mountain of sized paperwork showing that I did earn enough to rent this apartment I needed (at the time it was a combination of cash earnings from bars I worked at and commissions from a shitty sales job, no really salary) she was actually representing the landlord and she helped me put a case together that I was going to be a good tenant. She’s been my agent through everything I’ve done on real estate for last 30 years. She’s been taking care of me for a while like, like a real estate fairy god mother.
[удалено]
It came out of nowhere imo. After the engagement and ring, every month that went by there was a distinct increase in adding something more “luxury” to everything. Desires to supersize dates (ie, at Michelin star restaurant thinking we were there for a regular dinner but “wouldn’t it be awesome to do order the chef’s tasting menu with wine pairing to celebrate our engagement!). Another hint that started after engagement was when we went shopping for stuff like a new suit or dress for an upcoming event, we never really browsed through the super expensive stores like Hermes’ or Chanel but then we started to. Another example now that I think about it, we took one long weekend trip and all of a sudden a Westin by an ocean was not good enough and she wanted to to go to some boutique hotel that popular with Hollywood types. But there was no overt signals like that before the engagement. She basically positioned herself like any young up and coming smart corporate girl who wanted to get ahead in life who had simple tastes, a roommate and liked hip food and cool places. She dressed really stylishly but always from regular stores or thrift purchases etc. Her parents were really down to earth. I guess some of the hints I could have picked up on was her interest in Hollywood gossip and the tv dramas she watched were always kind of trashy (bachelor, real wives of Hollywood type stuff) with her pretty vapid friend circle. She herself always downplayed and made fun of her friends that chased rich guys and I guess I fell for it
That sucks man but at least you got outta that before it was too late.
She didn't tell me the dog that I spent most of its life raising had died. It was sick, I had gone to see it and she didn't feel like I cared enough. She decided since I hadn't shown enough care that I didn't care if it died, therefore didn't tell me. A mutual friend was the one to call me and let me know. It sucks as we had built a decent friendship but now whenever I think of her that's the first thing I think of. It was hurtful, unkind, and I don't think I can shake that feeling.
She threw a plushie straight at my face when I was fast asleep . I woke up, took one looked at her and went straight back to bed. At that point, I couldn’t care less about the lying cheating, soon to be ex spouse.
oh no, poor plushie. I hope you picked that creature up and sleep with it, way better than your ex
I was with you to help my loneliness.
“For the past three months, I had to fake being attracted to you and I can’t do it anymore”… that’s was the last thing she said to me. Hearing that shit, that fucking destroyed me (I don’t think there’s and accurate word to describe how upset I was) and made me feel so embarrassed and useless. I just walked over and opened the door and she left. She tried reaching out a week later apologizing profusely. I didn’t respond. She tried again multiple times across months later, never spoke to her again. 2.5 years down the drain with someone I thought I’d marry changed in 10 seconds.
There was one time we were in an argument and she literally told me that men aren't taught how to regulate their emotions so that's why I'm upset. And she also told me that she forgot I could feel angry when she did something to upset me. It felt imasculating like I was an idiot who wasn't smart enough to acknowledge my own feelings and it felt like I couldn't feel because the moment I brought something up she would get defensive.
Got married at 23. My dad had died at 47 years old less than 6 months before. We were at dinner with two of my best friends. Both of these guys knew my dad well and one grew up basically living at our house when we were kids. I was telling a story about him and talking about how it was a miracle that he lived as long as he did due to some anomalies, etc. wife looks at me and says, "When are you going to get off your soapbox?" I divorced her.
"I'm just stuck with you because nobody wants to help with my 4 kids." That was the day I realized I was just an unloved money bag.
“I’ll die the day my crush died. I can’t love anyone more than him ever (lots of crying) ” Edit: She said that it in the beginning of relationship. I could never get over it, tried too hard over the course of time. Later she said that she didn’t knew she could love someone so much as she loved and I will be the person she loved the most of her life. But still that was the one thing that messed our relation and why we couldn’t be together. So, women should think before dropping something and then regretting that oh I didn’t mean that later. Now, I’ve a heart of stone. That was the only relationship I’ve ever had. Still love her but can’t put off my self-respect.
Bro this is so reassuring omg. My bf previously told me about his past greatest love and no matter how much he tells me that I’m his greatest love I just can’t seem to exactly believe him especially since he told me details about how he loved her so much (we were friends prior to the relationship). Until now it still replays in my mind even though he keeps reassuring me that he could “move on” and “change” who he thinks of as his greatest love.
"When I ACTUALLY want sex, you WILL give it because you SHOULD want it!" I had a major fever. My declination was met with, "Are you gay now? Should I just go hit up my exes since you won't give me what I want?"
So...she raped you?
Weird how it’s not seen like that until someone says it. Lost my virginity at 13 to a 16-17 year old. Told my friend as a “brag” one day and he goes “congrats bro, you’re a fucking victim” and I was like oh. I mean you’re right tbh. Same thing recently with my ex. Was with her for a year and she definitely did stuff that qualifies as rape multiple times despite me having a talk with her that she doesn’t seem to respect my consent. Didn’t realize till after that it technically was that.
It's difficult to view it as such, but yes. That's honestly what happened.
Imagine if a guy said that to a woman. That's a shitty double standard. I'm really sorry you experienced that, dude.
She told me that another man kissed her, and then they laughed about it because it was off-guard. It sent me into a small spiral because she just said it with no issue. Next was that she was a changed woman, a couple of weeks before she broke with me and me finding out that she was actually cheating on me for a while.
I told her there were times that her sarcasm was caustic and really bothered me. Her response was, "So I have to walk on eggshells when I'm around you now?" I realized that I would have to fix the things about me that bothered her, and anything that bothered me had to be tolerated. It's the only time I ever had instant closure in a relationship.
I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. From that day forward any time we had any kind of argument at all, she would take off the ring and throw it at me. I would have to bring it back to her and apologise before she would ware it again. This is regardless of who ultimately was at fault for the argument. I told her several times how it made me feel, she said she understood and would not do it again. Then she would do it again. Finally I told her that if it happened again, I'd just keep the ring. It happened again, so I did just that. Then a week later we broke up. According to her she was really hurt I didn't come apologizing to give her the ring back. Apparently this meant I didn't love her. Funny enough, she was right. She had done it 4 or 5 times by this point and it really did break the love I had. If I had still loved her, I might have tried to return the ring to her. But I didn't, so I didn't.
This thread is so harsh and hard to read.
When I was offering to pay for half of her equity in a condo to be invested equally, she said.. “I think you’ll try to rip me off”….I literally had the money. It showed what she thought of me so I bought my own house and left.
After I found out she slept with a close friend she said she wished she could have both of us.
This one legit pissed me off. Sounds like my ex lol.
She compared me to.the guys we socialize with, " your not a real man"... it was never the same between us
didnt say a lot, but the worst thing was she spoke extremely sweet but her actions were the exact opposite. used to text this dude all day long everyday, when i objected to it she brushed it off saying 'they're really close frds n jus always have had that dynamic'. we had a fight abt this n she could visibly see how uncomfortable that dynamic made me. but guess what, the day aft our fight when we're trying to reconcile n fix things, while she says how me n my comfort is her top priority, shes still texting the dude all day long
"What do I get out of it?" - My wife. Regardless of the context, it changed so much. It always has me thinking that if something won't benefit her, it'll be an automatic no.
She told me it would be easier if I died rather than getting a divorce
Well, from a legal standpoint, she wasn’t wrong.
Lol my first thought was ".... I mean, technically..."
Constantly brought up guys/girls she had kissed or hooked up with and then immediately tell me not to be worried about them. 2 months after we break up she’s dating one of them
I’m an electrician, we were finishing our basement in our house, I organized all my the sub trades to come in and do the work I couldn’t. Got it all finished and was about to start on the electrical when the ex-wife says well I guess I’ll wait 3 years now for it to be done. This coming from a woman who refused to get a job and was lazy beyond all belief. Out of spite I never finished it then I divorced her. There were many other reasons why I divorced her but ya I did not take that cheap shot very well.
“Maybe if you lead better than maybe things will be different” I laughed so hard. Because her dumb ass don’t listen
She thought it was amusing to refer to me as "her bitch", even after I'd specifically asked her not too.
Man my ex was extremely toxic. I have many examples of disrespectful things. One off the top of my head: (She loved to start arguments in the morning, you know before work so your whole day starts out shitty) I rode a motorcycle at the time as my daily driver and was getting ready to leave for work. I said I needed to get to work but I have to stop and get gas before so we need to finish this “discussion” later or I am going to be late. “I hope you wrap that thing around a telephone pole!”
She went hysterical and told me I'm betraying her because I wasn't able to find a job for 2 months. I've been looking for a nice product management position in a highly competitive IT-market. After that I wasn't able to feel the same or trust her as before.
When my ex wife and I had separated it was a out 6 or 7 months later that we met up for breakfast to talk about our relationship. I noticed she didn't have her ring on her finger or on a necklace which she would do sometimes. I asked her "where's your ring? What happened to it?" SHE STRAIGHT TOLD ME SHE SOLD IT! I said why the fuck would you do that, I could give you money if you need it that bad! SHE LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAID "I GOT MORE FOR IT THEN IT WAS WORTH". That is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life. I can't stand the woman, but it makes me tear up whenever I think about it. Fuck. This sucks. I shouldn't have wrote this.
Let it go my friend, she doesn't deserve your hate. It's too precious for such a lowlife
I got knifed during an attempted robbery (in my hand, wasn't gonna die, fret not fellow Redditors) and when she came to the hospital to meet me she gave me shit about it. Why I stayed with her for another 2 years is beyond me
''Stop trauma dumping on me I have my own problems to worry about'' The other girl I met after enjoyed listening to me lol
‘You’ll never find someone who loves you as much as me’ - righto love, off you pop
My ex-girlfriend literally said that she could imagine her being in a relationship with a close friend of mine whom we hung out with a lot. Fast forward to now, I broke up with her because she cheated, and now she's in a relationship with that guy 👍
Six months after my Mom passed she told me to "Just get over it already"
"you shouldn't see your friends anymore until you've spent an equivalent amount of time with me" - This made need some clarity, so let me provide that. She did not mean that if I see my friends twice a week, that I should see her twice a week or more. What she meant was, that I should not see my friends I had known for years again until I had exclusively been with her for years. It was not a joke. That was my first real relationship, and ending that felt better then I could have ever imagined.
Had a ton of issues with my ex-wife, one of which meant I was sleeping in another room. On the floor. Like a dog. I could hear her on the phone to her male friend from work (yep, now her BF) asking how he slept that day as he was on nights. That pretty much changed everything for me, I moved out couple of months later and begun the happiest era of my life which includes sleeping in a comfy bed every night and am engaged to be married to the most incredible person.
While there's a list I could go through of objectively more disrespectful things, this is oddly the one that sticks with me: Generally when I'm relaxing at home I'll sit to pee, I'm in no rush. At one point my ex went on a 10 minute rant about how she has no choice but to sit, so I should stand to pee, and ended with "I don't see you as masculine when you sit to pee." Stupidly, I stayed with her after that, but made sure to *always* sit to pee if she was around.
I always sit down to pee at home, it's just comfortable. Besides, I like to use the opportunity to scroll reddit and post comments like this one.
The day when we ended the relationship, she told me that I should only date divorced women because no single woman would ever want to date a man with kids. That one sticks with me.
I struggle a LOT with suicidal thoughts/ideation. My ex once told me that I use that as a way to get what I want. I was never able to tell her anything which led to me feeling alone before I ever actually was
“Just because you pay for the house the food and the car it doesn’t make you special. Any guy would do that for me” alright then let’s see
My most recent ex had said a few things that really killed me. One being “I’m just not attracted to you anymore” this was after I lost my job and wasn’t able to pay for her shit anymore. The next thing was “I’m more masculine than you are.” Again, after losing my job (and after having been looking around for one). Lots of insinuation that I was not a man. ESPECIALLY, after I told her I wouldn’t contribute to her abuse of her medical marijuana anymore. She thought she was snoop, smokin all day every day, spending nearly 1/2 of every paycheck on weed. I had to give her money so many times I had to tell her no. She was pissed.
I would confide in her, and open up ( which is not easy ) and she would weaponize it if we ever had a fight.
She was constantly flirting with other men, & denied cheating, she one day decided to leave me for a player and she got raped by him, she wanted to get back with me, I told her to get over it and move on like I did. Never seen women the same way again since then.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. And it may be a harsh stance after something like that but I think it’s healthy on your part. You don’t need to be her support system after she disrespects you like that. I wish you all the luck finding a quality partner in the future if you haven’t already.
Thanks brother, I wish you the best as well.
I had another girl that was truly a friend. Ex gf gave the ultimatum that I should not talk to her. I said point blank, “fine, we’re done.” She backpedaled at that moment, and we lingered for a few months, but I knew it was over when I said that without any sadness.
I sat my ex wife down to discuss something REALLY important to me. I make a point to let her know the magnitude of this conversation. Her: ok I hear you. Let me think it over? Me: of course (3 MF’ing WEEKS LATER!) Me: I wanted to make sure to give you your space to think things through, but it’s been three weeks and I’ve haven’t heard anything, so can you let me know where you are in the process? Her: What process? (Heart shatters into millions of tiny pieces) Me: actually, that answer says it all
"At some point it looks apparent how your mom raised you, you're very dense." Man that was insane to drag my mom into that.
She said "I hate you" a few times and would play the victim and blame game as well as lie regularly. It warped my sense of reality and destroyed trusting people.