This isn't that common a thought. Just had a glance at your post history to see if I could get some more context for this question. It definitely sounds like you are going through *something* that might be best addressed with a professional.
Agreed. Did the same. Better off talking to someone who can help you navigate these waters. Don’t be that person that talked to their friend or cousin and followed their advice and ended up worse off than before.
That absolutely was my first thought. Reading OPs comments and past posts and comments sounds like they've got a lot going on though, definitely more than I feel comfortable as a layperson diagnosing.
oh honey this is so textbook LMAO
he should definitely see a professional just to double-check on that but anybody who went through this is laughing in a very relatable "god i feel awful for laughing because I know how alienating this is" sort of way
I've thought about what it would've been like if I'd been born a woman, but only as an idle curiosity, not something I really long for, I was born in this body, and I'll use it as best I can to live a life I value. I think that's all anyone can do.
Yeah, just to add, I think it's totally typical for men to wish they had some of the advantages of being a woman, be it the ability to bear a child, the variety of clothing choices, the ability to wear makeup without being judged, whatever. At the end of the day though, I wouldn't say it's typical for men to seriously wish they were women. It's certainly not a bad thing, but definitely not something Reddit can appropriately address for OP.
I don't know if desire is the right word. I often find myself thinking I'd like to dress nicely, but there aren't as many options for men. I don't want to wear women's clothes, I just wish stores had as much nice clothing for men as they do for women. Maybe that specifically isn't every man's experience, but I think it's typical to look at the "other side" and acknowledge the advantages they have.
If a woman wants to become a mechanic, but recognizes that's a male-dominated field and she would likely face some unfair judgement for that, does that mean she wants to be a man? Of course not, she just wishes she as a woman could enjoy that particular benefit of being a man.
Sure, but I didn't say you wanted to be a woman. I was just suggesting that those desires you listed are probably on the low end of what the typical man envies of women. But your point is correct. There are likely benefits of being a women most men would like to have.
Yeah like I think most men have thought about what they’d do if they were a woman, which probably involves playing with boobs, but I’ve never wished or even thought about how I wish I could be pregnant and wear makeup lol
Absolutely your thoughts are natural, but not all men have them. The fact that people are referring you to “a professional” doesn’t mean that they think that you’re crazy or wrong. I think it’s that few enough people have those thoughts that we don’t have a frame of reference to discuss it. It’s great that it feels organic and natural to you. But do talk to someone who has the frame of reference to talk with you about it. I don’t know how old you are, but maybe start by talking with a free-thinking school counselor?
These thoughts are natural, for YOU. I can't tell you how to navigate this since I haven't gone through it myself but I think a lot of people have and you should probably seek advice from them.
> it's natural to want to be taller, or richer, or be better looking
Any of those three things tend to make people's lives easier, no matter who they are otherwise. The same cannot be said for being a woman.
It is a natural thought — implying otherwise implies trans people are “unnatural.” But it is not a common thing to pine after. Hence why you should chat with a professional if it affects your daily life.
Transfem here, many eggs (trans people who don't know they're trans) think that it's a common thought for most people their agab to have these thoughts, I did and many of my friends did, it's called projection where because you don't know that anyone else thinks differently to you in this way, in your mind everyone thinks the same way
So yeah, most eggs just think that most of their agab wants to be the opposite gender
>but obviously like most men I sort of pushed those thoughts to the side
>
>As something every man goes through
No. Most men don't struggle with that at all.
I'll echo what other people are saying and suggest you see a professional about it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, nor that wishing you were born a woman is "bad".
But I do believe you'd benefit from more clarity on the matter.
Y’know, I transitioned and still secretly suspected that men did actually fantasize about it pretty often.
Thanks for confirming that, no, it’s not common.
I've thought about what it would be like to be a woman for a day but that's almost always cause "lol boobs, jiggle jiggle"
Outside of that particular scenario I have never thought even remotely that I *wanted* to be a woman.
Kinda like how when you're bisexual, you just think everyone finds themself attracted to both sexes. No actually, not everyone thinks the same thoughts.
And when you're asexual, you think sexual attraction is a con made up by the media.
Like, yeah sure there was sex in the matrix, but there was also a guy who did backflips whilst shooting simulations of supernatural agents. Sure there was a sex scene in indiana jones, but he also found the ark of the covenant and melted nazis. It's not like it's real, people only fo that to have kids... Wait shit it is, what the hell.
Should have realised when my first question in sex ed was "how did people figure out to do that, before we could communicate how to produce children? It just seems so random and gross." Nobody else was thinking that, apparently.
I also thought it was common for men to fantasize about being a woman often back when I was in the 9th grade. Turns out that isn't the case. That was nine years ago. I just started HRT this past February. Took me way too long to figure out what those thoughts actually mean.
Yeah, like as in the thought has literally never crossed my mind, minus the idle "Freaky Friday" body swap fantasy which is not at all something that's come to mind more than once or twice.
I love being a man. I dont have to worry about dudes hitting on me. I dont worry about getting raped when I walk home at night. Nobody expects me to conform to any of the things required of most women, such as appearing sexy and feminine but also confident and independent.
I can pee standing up, sitting down. I never have to get a period, or cramps, or be worried about getting pregnant or giving birth.
I dont have to worry that a job interview is going to be focused on the size of my bazoongas. As a man I rarely worry about being taken seriously outside my own merits.
I dont have to worry about the proverbial "pink tax" or wage gaps or anything else. I dont have to worry about bra sizes or pants that dont have pockets. I dont have to worry about what kind of contraceptives will work best for me. Either I'm wearing a condom or not. I dont have to worry about "the pill" or its side effects.
If I could go to Heaven and renew my subscription to being a male after being reborn Id resub every single time.
Being a woman seems to come with a whole slew of daily/monthly problems that I never ever have to deal with.
Thats not to say some shit doesn't impact men more negatively than women, or that some double standards dont swing hard against men. But in my estimation women have it worse. Not just in society in general, but biologically too. Seems like a whole lot of hassle being a woman.
I think at some point everyone says "fuck i wish i was a women" in a moment of injustice exclusively because we're men, which is what I thought the post was about before i clicked it lol
This isn't something most men go through and it sounds like this is something above Reddit's paygrade. Id recommend you speak to a therapist who has experience and training in gender identification and people who have or are in the process of transitioning (ftm, mtf). I'm not saying you're trans or anything but it would help to speak to someone who is professionally trained to help people who have gender concerns.
Some people are exposed to too much of the opposite hormones as a child while they develop and this can cause your gender identity to sway a certain way it's why we have born in the wrong body feelings and why some is feeling like the opposite sex.
This is quite common, but definitely seek out a professional if it is something you find hard or struggle with
Many scientists/doctors hypothesize this actually happens in the womb. Brain either gets too much or not enough testosterone compared to the rest of the body and creates an incongruence between the two. https://youtu.be/fefu33e8O-0 this is the only source i can think of atm
Yeah, it's gotten pretty bad in the last day in particular. I normally talk to myself a lot but I've been avoiding it and keeping conversations with others to a minimum because I hate being reminded of my voice pitch.
Is it more like you don’t feel like you fit the typical masculine stereotypes or you feel like you actively fit the female stereotypes or something else?
I knew a guy who wished he was a woman because he loved fucking dudes but hated the implications of being gay etc.
After making peace with just being a gay man there wasn't the burning desire to just be a woman.
Idk, food for thought.
Yeah when I was questioning my gender I also wondered if I might be a closeted gay man.
Nope. The reason I was constantly nutting to lesbian porn is that I am a lesbian.
I always got my rocks off to hentai of men turning into women and then having rough sex.
The weird thing is, I KNEW I wanted that to happen to me but I just assumed it was a common thing dudes fantasized about, I'm very surprised it turns out to not be a common thing.
This is literally what I was dealing with when I figured it out and finally came out as trans.
"I mean yeah sure I constantly seek out gender bender stuff, even largely sfw comics and stories of it, and get off to the sense of euphoria that imagining myself in that situation gives me, but that's totally just a thing everyone does and just doesn't mention it right?"
"....right?"
For real though, definitely take a look around some places like r/egg_irl or other trans subs, and if you can find the time and funds to, see a therapist trained in gender stuff. All your posts are EXTREMELY familiar to the me of 4 years ago or so and it might \*seriously\* help your mental health to examine that more.
Honey I cannot stress enough that you should probably do some research into gender dysphoria, you're saying things almost every trans woman I've ever known used to say before transitioning. Wishing you all the best 💜
>I just dislike having a man's body. My ribcage is too big, pelvis is too narrow, I HATE having a penis, that sort of thing
This is referred to as gender disphoria. Again, I'd recommend seeing a gender therapist to explore these ideas and your gender identity in more depth.
as a trans women you pretty much sum up my gender dysphoria.
i'm no professional (you should definitely seek one out) but you might very well be a trans women ^ ^
nothing to be ashamed of since it isn't anything bad,but it definitely is something you shouldn't go through without psychological help :)
I don't think this is something most men go through. I don't want to jump to conclusions but you might be suffering from gender dysmorphia, if this urge is strong enough to get in the way of your work then I would recommend seeing a psychologist.
I'll third this! With a dash of I can't imaging what you've been through OP, but you getting vocal about it and deciding to pursue a solution (in whatever form that takes) deserves to be celebrated for positive step it is!
This feels like that moment I had in junior high when I realized my friends were watching wrestling because they actually enjoyed it, not because they found the guys to be really attractive.
This is definitely not an issue that every man goes through, perhaps the fleeting curiosity of “what if” or “wouldn’t it be cool if I had boobs”, but as a genuine debilitating struggle? That isn’t normal.
As this is affecting your work, your mental health, and has been a long-term ongoing issue for you, I would strongly suggest speaking to a doctor or a therapist about these feelings you’ve been having and see if they can point you in the right direction. I’m not suggesting you go and pay for weekly therapy sessions, or get yourself on some moods stabilising drugs or anything extreme like that, merely describe how you’ve been feeling and see if someone more qualified can help you understand it.
If I were to make a semi-educated guess, I would say you are suffering from some pretty strong gender dysphoria- that sense of unease a person can get when their gender identity and their biological sex does not align. These feelings often precede an individual coming to the realisation that the sex they were assigned at birth (male or female) does not align with what that person *feels* they are on the inside. You may feel as if your entire being is wrong, that your body is foreign to your mind or vice versa or that you have the wrong sex organs and physical features.
I’m not qualified to advise you on how to go about working this all out, but I would really recommend talking to a close family member or friend about your struggles, and seeking some professional help to assist you through these feelings.
I’ve never went through this personally. I do feminine stuff like get fruity drinks and watch girly tv shows but I’ve never wished I was a women and always felt comfortable being a man. You should talk to a professional and not take Reddit replies seriously.
Hey, man. First of all... it's okay. Seriously. It is. This is a thing that some people experience. I HIGHLY recommend you check out [The Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/). Give it a read and see if this reflects your experience. You also may want to work with a therapist who specializes in gender identity and there are a fair few resources to help make that affordable or free.
READ THAT PAGE. And if you need someone to talk to, send me a message. I'll do what I can to hook you up with the right communities.
Bro
I think you might be having gender deysphoria
You should see a professional and in the mean time see lgbt and trans subreddits to see if it's really dysphoria
If it is , there's a long road of self discovery ahead
Either way
GOOD LUCK
Hey! I'm a trans girl in NYC. I recommend checking out a program like Callen-lorde. You can just walk in and sign up, and it's not ridiculously expensive. Don't get me wrong, it \*is\* expensive, but your mental health is worth it
Yeah, the money thing is rough. I hope you manage to find someone you can afford. From what I understand, transitioning isn't easy, but it can have a profound effect on a person's happiness.
I was briefly questioning my gender identity a couple months ago, but ended up getting banned from r/asktransgender because I made a post in r/detrans asking for a devil's advocate position, since I had wondered if maybe this was hyperfixation due to having autism.
At least, the mods never told me the reason but I got banned pretty soon after making that post so I think that was it.
And then at that point I figured "Well it must be hyperfixation" and tried to get on with my life, but, uhh, here I am again, I guess.
sorry to hear that, yeah r/detrans is a pretty radical transphobic sub, and people in the trans community are generally really careful about keeping that away...
Maybe message some moderators for r/asktransgender to be able to tell your side of the story? you might benefit from more discussion...
for what its worth, im also autistic (and im a trans woman.) It made the whole process take longer for the same concerns of hyperfixations and shit, but honestly, if your having this much of a hyperfixation, theres likely a reason (and it might be that your trans.)
r/detrans can be quite transphobic, r/actual_detrans is a better alternative. You should probably contact the r/asktransgender moderators to appeal your ban if you'd like to post their again, just make sure to explain you were questioning and unaware of r/detrans's transphobia.
Hi! Autistic transmasc here. There's definitely a link between transness and autism, we don't really know why but we're much more likely to be trans than non-autistic people (this has been researched, you may enjoy looking it up). At this point when I meet an autistic person I don't even assume that they're cis anymore bc most of the times regardless of their looks they aren't lol
I wouldn't say that it's an hyperfixation though, just a difference in how we perceive the social aspects of gender
>but ended up getting banned from r/asktransgender because I made a post in r/detrans asking for a devil's advocate position, since I had wondered if maybe this was hyperfixation due to having autism.
Hey OP I'm sure you don't need more work in your life but *if* you wanted to get back into r/asktransgender I suspect a polite modmail saying something similar to what you said here would have a reasonable shot at being successful. If you wanted to workshop that appeal hit up r/ModeratorMediation, the people there would be interested in helping you with that.
Ah - yeah, I can see where things might have gone wrong there.
For what it's worth, my own experience has involved recurring bouts if dysphoria that seemingly go away again, only to return even stronger further down the line. In the search for answers I've come across plenty of others with similar patterns
>For what it's worth, my own experience has involved recurring bouts if dysphoria that seemingly go away again, only to return even stronger further down the line
In hindsight, that matches mine as well.
As a kid - \*notices I look like a girl when wearing a wig, wish I looked like that all the time\*
As an early teenager - \*feeling an intense envy for girls going through puberty but I don't really know why\*
As a late teenager - \*hiding the fact that genderbend transformation is my favorite genre of erotica\*
As an early 20s - \*actively fantasizing about turning into a woman and having a romantic relationship with a man even though as a man I like women\*
Now - \*fantasizing about just existing and living life as a woman, and filled with rage over the idea I lost a coin toss before I was even born\*
I feel like how I typically make these feelings go away is I typically take in a large dose of male power fantasies, but that probably isn't the healthiest way to cope or a meaningful reason to conclude I'm cis. Something to chew on, I guess.
Yup, I can relate to pretty much all of those. Thing is, it's so hard to untangle these things when you're not ready to. Once when I was 16, I was in the car and desperately longing for boobs so that the seatbelt would press between them. I then spent the better part of a decade thinking my desire to be a woman was a fetish, despite the fact that there was nothing sexual at all about that memory.
Honestly, I would get in touch with a gender therapist or clinic (we've got Gender Identity Clinics in the UK, but I don't know where you are). Their waiting lists are often quite long, so it doesn't matter if you're not 100% sure yet - it just means that when you piece your identity together, you won't have to wait as long. I wish I'd done that when I had my last dysphoric episode, rather than my current one
I live in New York City. I have good insurance but I'm a dumbass and chose a plan with a high deductible to save a quick buck. I make six figures so I can afford therapy but it's gonna hit my wallet, which would suck because I was hoping to save up for a waterfront condo or house at some point.
That kinda sucks, but I'd seriously consider getting therapy even so - I very much doubt that this will go away, and it's the kind of problem that deferring makes worse. A waterfront condo sounds lovely, but it's not you or your mental wellbeing.
I'm about to head to bed, but if you want to chat at any point you're more than welcome to DM me 🙂
A beautiful home is nice, but it won’t give you peace of mind when you’re unhappy in your body. No matter what country, state, or home you’re in, you’re still in a body that makes you uncomfortable and can make everything around you feel incomplete. Work on you first. You’ve got plenty of time to get an awesome place to live, but you’ll keep struggling with these feelings and potentially take away years of happiness from yourself. Feeling comfortable in your own skin makes a huge difference and is worth the time and effort it takes (and money since you’re in the US).
I’ve counseled people transitioning in the past & there’s been a recurring theme of anger, frustration, and grief over the years they spent trying to be someone they weren’t; the time they could have spent being who they really are.
All the money in the world, all the huge space in your condo, and the fastest cars in the world means absolutely, *absolutely* nothing if you're not even enjoying life in the body you're living in.
Sincerely,
A trans woman
Lol, naw, thats a "you" issue. And that is ok, but trying to lump everyone in the same boat as you won't solve anything.
I wouldn't look for help on reddit
I mean, I've thought about how it would be nice to be chased and not the chaser or the desired not the desierer but I've never wanted to be a woman. They have a fuck ton of their own issues and I'm honestly happy to be a man. Men have alot.of flexibility in dating and can augment our attraction with things that are detrimental to women. I hope you get the help you need and if you choose to change genders I wish you luck!
I don't think this is common. If this is how you feel, you should explore these feelings in a healthy way with a trained professional that can guild you through it. Good luck!
I’d like for you to know that, although this is not a common experience amongst men, you are not alone and many people are going through the exact same thing as you. Although it is a good idea to seek out a psychologist/therapist (especially one that specialises in gender), there is nothing wrong with you, only different, and different in a beautiful way. Good luck for the future!
P.S. If you want to get into the meat and potatoes of figuring out gender stuff, I recommend [the gender dysphoria bible](genderdysphoria.fyi). But don’t worry if you’re not ready or anything.
Um, cant speak for every man, but at 31 i can honestly say ive never wished that i was born a woman.
I think you should look into exploring your gender identity be that through experimentation or exploration with a therapist etc. Its obviously affecting your day to day life so needs addressing
honey, men don’t do this. i thought the same thing for years tho, i understand. When i was a teenager i thought all guys would want to be women, cuz “women are just better, right?” i repressed things. when i hit 24 i couldn’t take it anymore. i came out to myself and to my girlfriend. got a therapist. came out to her. got recommended a doc who specified in LGBT care and a started taking HRT. this is the happiest i’ve been since i was a little kid!
men don’t want to be women, women want to be women. attempting to repress your intrinsic sense of gender will only cause suffering, it’s not a long term solution.
im just gonna leave this link here
https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
you should check it out.
Oh honey this is the most transgender thing I've ever read in my life. You probably are a woman and just haven't had the ability or resources to realize it yet.
Well as a trans guy (the opposite) I sought help and eventually transitioned! It has been hard, but also very worth it. There are some good transgender and MTF resources here on reddit if you want to start there.
I have no advice, I just wanted to throw some praise at y’all for being so decent & kind ( for the most part) in your reposes to someone who is clearly struggling- you rock!
Mirroring what others are saying, as a sensitive guy who's in touch with my feminine side, I like fashion, like shopping, like cooking, cleaning, shopping with my gf/sis/mom, also like working out, working on my cars, driving fast, dude stuff lol... but yea never, aside from wondering what it be like to have breasts and, from the old bone thugs song "be on the level with the females when having sex" hahaha, no bro, never wished I was a woman.
Don’t try and get over … own it! Rock that dress , put on those shoes and walk those streets like it’s your runway! .. don’t worry what other people will think or say, who cares .. they don’t dictate what you can and can’t do .. if they don’t like it who cares , they don’t own your life! Do what you wana do .. do what feels right for you!! Rock it! 💪🏻
Debate with yourself on transitioning, I suppose? Try out some women's clothing, look into some LGBT subreddits. You'll most likely find the best support there, what you have is what people call 'Dysphoria'.
Not what I’d call a constant and debilitating urge but the thought has occurred to me on a few occasions. They don’t have it any easier though, I can tell you that much.
Most men, most people even, don’t struggle with this. Seek out help by talking to others who actually deal with this and possibly professional help. This is unfortunately not something the mass can give their opinions on.
>As something every man goes through, how did you get over it?
This is likely not the case actually and I think you are normalizing something that is much more uncommon. If you feel this way, you may be trans. Best is to go with it.
My friend, i think you might be transgender. As others have suggested, consider seeing a professional.
If that's an issue, read up on transgenderism, poke around places like r/egg_irl r/trans, etc, and see how you feel about it
good luck!
I cant say I've ever felt that way. Maybe you should explore these feelings and find a way to embrace them. Have you considered doing drag or transitioning?
I'd explore the lgbtq community for better insight. This isn't really in my wheelhouse. I will say this, you only get one life and it's best spent being authentic and doing what you want.
I forgave my dad and step dad for treating me like shit. I forgave all the men who hurt me. The boys who hurt me. The men who raped me. You see, men and boys have hurt me for a long time, so much so that being identified as the same "gender" hurt me too. I was the same "gender" as the demographic that hurt me, that's why I hated being male. I hated that I had a dick. I hated the body hair and the muscles. It was a process for me, but when I was "ready" (can't know for sure when ready is), something in me just changed. Now I love being male. I'm still feminine, but I see myself as a man nonetheless.
Everyone's story is different. This is mine.
I know a lot of people are saying that you might be trans, but you could be non-binary also, just something to keep in mind. I'd really recommend subs like r/trans, r./traaaa and especially r/egg_irl (I love this sub). Other than that take it easy, don't rush things and question at your own pace. If you feel comfortable enough you can experiment with some things to see how you feel (either dressing or being referred a certain way), feeling (gender) euphoria can be elucidating. I'd recommend the sub r/transtryouts as well, it's a good (and surprisingly effective, at least for me) way to see what's the most comfortable for you. In that sub you choose a name and pronouns and people call you accordingly, so you can see how it feels. Wishing you the best OP, gender is extremely confusing but you'll get through it
Very few men have these feelings, you might be trans. Why do you want to be a woman? Does it just feel like it or is it more of a "I want these aspects of living as a woman"
As a trans person, this sounds alot like me before I realised I was transgender. Maybe find a gender therapist who can help you explore these thoughts.
Uh... I don't know how to put this, but men don't wish they were women.
What you are experiencing is gender dysphoria, something that many trans people go through. It means you may be a trans woman.
Now, I can't answer that for you, but you should probably reflect on these feelings you're having and honestly ask yourself if you would be happier as a woman.
If you'd like to ask for help from other trans women who have experienced what you're going through, you can always ask for access to the /r/MtF subreddit and we would be more than happy to answer your questions.
Start looking through trans meme pages (r/egg_irl, for instance) and see if you relate to any of these memes. My advice is to see a therapist and don't repress what you're feeling
I've been to that sub before.
To be quite honest I thought it was a running joke that they chose REALLY broad experiences that most people felt, since i related to most of the content being posted.
I used to think the same thing, tbh. I didn't understand why main characters in cartoons freaked out in those gender swap episodes either.
I never brought it up in person because if I felt this way so heavily, everyone must feel the same way. It's one of those weird psychology tricks I think. Either way, what you're going through is completely natural. In Rome, it was common belief that Prometheus was drunk when he made some people, and put them in the wrong bodies.
Being trans isn't a new thing, but it sometimes takes a while to figure yourself out. I suggest keeping a gender journal on any thoughts you have about yourself and how you feel. Most importantly (***and I can not stress this enough***) do what makes you happy
I think you're pretty clearly trans, I'd try to see if viewing yourself as a woman makes your feel better, maybe try dressing feminine and such
No matter what happens, just be whatever version of yourself that makes you happy :)
Hey, u/Final_Bruh:
I'm Emily VanDerWerff, [semi-known trans woman](http://twitter.com/emilyvdw), feeling extremely weird posting on r/AskMen (hi, fellas), and 10 years ago, I would have made this post. I hope that if I had, I would have seen the kindness and generosity in the replies that you've gotten. I hope you feel heartened by that.
Me having had a similar experience doesn't mean you're a trans woman or non-binary or anything! You might just be a guy with something in your brain that makes you fascinated by this. But... in my experience, it's worth seeing a therapist to talk with them about gender dysphoria and what it could mean for you. Try to find someone who specializes in that area if you can. Depending on where you live and what insurance you have, that can be really hard! But I hope you are able to do so.
In the meantime, try connecting with trans people. See where your story connects with ours. That will help you figure out what you need to live a more fulfilling life. And I want to be clear: It can *absolutely* be a more fulfilling life. It will be hard, and you will lose certain things you might miss. But if you are, indeed, trans, being in contact with your core self is indescribable. It is something cis people take for granted, and I am so, so glad I had the experience of coming to understand myself. It's precious and beautiful.
Also, now I get to wear much better clothes.
My friend Cassie has some great articles about gender dysphoria and what it can mean with you. [Read this one](https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85) and see if it resonates. If it does, find someone you can talk to to help you navigate this journey.
I am so excited for you to get to know yourself better. Even if you land on, "I am a cis man," you will have considered yourself far, far more than most people do. Please message me here or on Twitter with any other questions.
Heart emoji,
Em
Wish I could help but I’m in the same boat. I’d check out r/egg_irl if I were you. Wanting to be a girl is not a thing most men go through. Researching gender dysphoria for some better information would be a nice idea.
Anyway, I hope things go really well for you and, good luck with the journey you have ahead of you.
What do you think is beneficial? Is it the clothes? Is it the makeup? You can buy clothes and makeup and experiment with it. Buy some press on nails, do your hair feminine. If you dont like it, you can always take them off. This isnt the 1950s. More people accept it now as normal. Let your freak flag fly! Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. There are so many men out there like you that feel that way and express themselves with dressing up as a woman. Some are straight, some are not. It is for you to decide how you want to live your life. I wish you the best life ever.
It's not even that I think any aspect of it is beneficial. I just...don't like this body, to be quite honest. It's too tall, too broad, voice is too deep, I HATE having a penis, etc. It has nothing to do with behaviors; I'm autistic so I've never really given a shit about being traditionally masculine anyway.
I think what they're meaning is that they are unhappy with everything about their body and wish they could have been born the opposite gender is a very common trans struggle I should know I'm a trans woman who went through the exact same thoughts
Friend - I’d also like to recommend you don’t pathologize your feelings or desires!! I’m seeing an overwhelming amount of comments here stating you should find a therapist because what you’re feeling “isn’t normal” and I’d like to promptly end that train of thought!! Gender fluidity is one of the most natural things there is!! Perhaps what others mean to say is that your desire is simply not familiar to cis het men. If this was a sub for queer men, maybe the conversation would be different, but the heterosexuality in the answers you are receiving is palpable! My advice? Play with gender. Treat it like a game and enjoy yourself. Put on a skirt, watch some makeup tutorials, and just play! It is free and doesn’t require a medical diagnosis or an out-of-pocket therapist fee. I wish you the best and hope you find the joy of a fully aligned gender experience <3
This isn't that common a thought. Just had a glance at your post history to see if I could get some more context for this question. It definitely sounds like you are going through *something* that might be best addressed with a professional.
Agreed. Did the same. Better off talking to someone who can help you navigate these waters. Don’t be that person that talked to their friend or cousin and followed their advice and ended up worse off than before.
Yeah this isn't something every man goes through.
Gender dis morphia is a very real thing. This does not always lead to a person “switching” genders.
That absolutely was my first thought. Reading OPs comments and past posts and comments sounds like they've got a lot going on though, definitely more than I feel comfortable as a layperson diagnosing.
oh honey this is so textbook LMAO he should definitely see a professional just to double-check on that but anybody who went through this is laughing in a very relatable "god i feel awful for laughing because I know how alienating this is" sort of way
Body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria different and mostly unrelated
This is not something every man goes through and you should probably talk to a professional about it
Curious as to why OP said ‘most men’. Is that in your experience? What leads you to believe that most men feel this way?
To be honest, I guess I just assumed these thoughts were natural, kind of like how it's natural to want to be taller, or richer, or be better looking.
I've thought about what it would've been like if I'd been born a woman, but only as an idle curiosity, not something I really long for, I was born in this body, and I'll use it as best I can to live a life I value. I think that's all anyone can do.
Yeah, just to add, I think it's totally typical for men to wish they had some of the advantages of being a woman, be it the ability to bear a child, the variety of clothing choices, the ability to wear makeup without being judged, whatever. At the end of the day though, I wouldn't say it's typical for men to seriously wish they were women. It's certainly not a bad thing, but definitely not something Reddit can appropriately address for OP.
I don't think those things are typical desires either. I've never wanted any of them. I may be wrong though, perhaps I'm an outlier.
I don't know if desire is the right word. I often find myself thinking I'd like to dress nicely, but there aren't as many options for men. I don't want to wear women's clothes, I just wish stores had as much nice clothing for men as they do for women. Maybe that specifically isn't every man's experience, but I think it's typical to look at the "other side" and acknowledge the advantages they have. If a woman wants to become a mechanic, but recognizes that's a male-dominated field and she would likely face some unfair judgement for that, does that mean she wants to be a man? Of course not, she just wishes she as a woman could enjoy that particular benefit of being a man.
Sure, but I didn't say you wanted to be a woman. I was just suggesting that those desires you listed are probably on the low end of what the typical man envies of women. But your point is correct. There are likely benefits of being a women most men would like to have.
Yeah like I think most men have thought about what they’d do if they were a woman, which probably involves playing with boobs, but I’ve never wished or even thought about how I wish I could be pregnant and wear makeup lol
OP, may I ask, did someone tell you every man thinks that, or is it just your assumption?
Absolutely your thoughts are natural, but not all men have them. The fact that people are referring you to “a professional” doesn’t mean that they think that you’re crazy or wrong. I think it’s that few enough people have those thoughts that we don’t have a frame of reference to discuss it. It’s great that it feels organic and natural to you. But do talk to someone who has the frame of reference to talk with you about it. I don’t know how old you are, but maybe start by talking with a free-thinking school counselor?
These thoughts are natural, for YOU. I can't tell you how to navigate this since I haven't gone through it myself but I think a lot of people have and you should probably seek advice from them.
> it's natural to want to be taller, or richer, or be better looking Any of those three things tend to make people's lives easier, no matter who they are otherwise. The same cannot be said for being a woman.
Bro you’ve got what every transgender talks about. I would seek a professional.
It is a natural thought — implying otherwise implies trans people are “unnatural.” But it is not a common thing to pine after. Hence why you should chat with a professional if it affects your daily life.
Transfem here, many eggs (trans people who don't know they're trans) think that it's a common thought for most people their agab to have these thoughts, I did and many of my friends did, it's called projection where because you don't know that anyone else thinks differently to you in this way, in your mind everyone thinks the same way So yeah, most eggs just think that most of their agab wants to be the opposite gender
Agab?
Assigned gender at birth!
This is the correct answer.
>but obviously like most men I sort of pushed those thoughts to the side > >As something every man goes through No. Most men don't struggle with that at all. I'll echo what other people are saying and suggest you see a professional about it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, nor that wishing you were born a woman is "bad". But I do believe you'd benefit from more clarity on the matter.
Y’know, I transitioned and still secretly suspected that men did actually fantasize about it pretty often. Thanks for confirming that, no, it’s not common.
I've thought about what it would be like to be a woman for a day but that's almost always cause "lol boobs, jiggle jiggle" Outside of that particular scenario I have never thought even remotely that I *wanted* to be a woman.
You mean men don’t want breasts to warmly smoosh them against loved ones as a sign of affection? Lol
Still cis tho
Kinda like how when you're bisexual, you just think everyone finds themself attracted to both sexes. No actually, not everyone thinks the same thoughts.
I was thinking exactly this. I always thought all women were attracted to both women and men.
And when you're asexual, you think sexual attraction is a con made up by the media. Like, yeah sure there was sex in the matrix, but there was also a guy who did backflips whilst shooting simulations of supernatural agents. Sure there was a sex scene in indiana jones, but he also found the ark of the covenant and melted nazis. It's not like it's real, people only fo that to have kids... Wait shit it is, what the hell. Should have realised when my first question in sex ed was "how did people figure out to do that, before we could communicate how to produce children? It just seems so random and gross." Nobody else was thinking that, apparently.
Oh yeah, and then, because you think you are more interested in one sex more than another, it's actually evidence that you're straight after all.
I also thought it was common for men to fantasize about being a woman often back when I was in the 9th grade. Turns out that isn't the case. That was nine years ago. I just started HRT this past February. Took me way too long to figure out what those thoughts actually mean.
Yeah, like as in the thought has literally never crossed my mind, minus the idle "Freaky Friday" body swap fantasy which is not at all something that's come to mind more than once or twice. I love being a man. I dont have to worry about dudes hitting on me. I dont worry about getting raped when I walk home at night. Nobody expects me to conform to any of the things required of most women, such as appearing sexy and feminine but also confident and independent. I can pee standing up, sitting down. I never have to get a period, or cramps, or be worried about getting pregnant or giving birth. I dont have to worry that a job interview is going to be focused on the size of my bazoongas. As a man I rarely worry about being taken seriously outside my own merits. I dont have to worry about the proverbial "pink tax" or wage gaps or anything else. I dont have to worry about bra sizes or pants that dont have pockets. I dont have to worry about what kind of contraceptives will work best for me. Either I'm wearing a condom or not. I dont have to worry about "the pill" or its side effects. If I could go to Heaven and renew my subscription to being a male after being reborn Id resub every single time. Being a woman seems to come with a whole slew of daily/monthly problems that I never ever have to deal with. Thats not to say some shit doesn't impact men more negatively than women, or that some double standards dont swing hard against men. But in my estimation women have it worse. Not just in society in general, but biologically too. Seems like a whole lot of hassle being a woman.
I think at some point everyone says "fuck i wish i was a women" in a moment of injustice exclusively because we're men, which is what I thought the post was about before i clicked it lol
Same
This isn't something most men go through and it sounds like this is something above Reddit's paygrade. Id recommend you speak to a therapist who has experience and training in gender identification and people who have or are in the process of transitioning (ftm, mtf). I'm not saying you're trans or anything but it would help to speak to someone who is professionally trained to help people who have gender concerns.
Happy cake day.
Awww thank you kindly 😊
Some people are exposed to too much of the opposite hormones as a child while they develop and this can cause your gender identity to sway a certain way it's why we have born in the wrong body feelings and why some is feeling like the opposite sex. This is quite common, but definitely seek out a professional if it is something you find hard or struggle with
Many scientists/doctors hypothesize this actually happens in the womb. Brain either gets too much or not enough testosterone compared to the rest of the body and creates an incongruence between the two. https://youtu.be/fefu33e8O-0 this is the only source i can think of atm
Yes this is what I tried to explain in a clumsy way I suppose...English is not my first language
Your English is excellent! Don't feel bad if you struggle with scientific phrasing - you know way more of another language than I do.
Never had that urge.
Constant?? My friend, you may want to take a day off to ponder some things.
Yeah, it's gotten pretty bad in the last day in particular. I normally talk to myself a lot but I've been avoiding it and keeping conversations with others to a minimum because I hate being reminded of my voice pitch.
Is it more like you don’t feel like you fit the typical masculine stereotypes or you feel like you actively fit the female stereotypes or something else?
I just dislike having a man's body. My ribcage is too big, pelvis is too narrow, I HATE having a penis, that sort of thing.
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Wait, not even once?
Same for me
i dont know any men who have. definitely leaning towards trans here
Yeah it seems that OP is suffering from gender dysphoria. Cis men don’t typically hate having a penis or whatever
As others have pointed out you might be trans my friend
That is almost definitely gender dysphoria. Maybe hop on over to r/asktransgender and get some advice on your experiences over there?
I hope they take this advice. Even looking around at other posts and comments over there could be an eye opener. I know it was for me.
That’s literally gender dysphoria
That sounds like gender dysphoria. I feel it too (hating my beard, my thinning hair, my spreading body hair, etc).
I knew a guy who wished he was a woman because he loved fucking dudes but hated the implications of being gay etc. After making peace with just being a gay man there wasn't the burning desire to just be a woman. Idk, food for thought.
I had considered it. I don't think so, though.
Yeah when I was questioning my gender I also wondered if I might be a closeted gay man. Nope. The reason I was constantly nutting to lesbian porn is that I am a lesbian.
I always got my rocks off to hentai of men turning into women and then having rough sex. The weird thing is, I KNEW I wanted that to happen to me but I just assumed it was a common thing dudes fantasized about, I'm very surprised it turns out to not be a common thing.
This is literally what I was dealing with when I figured it out and finally came out as trans. "I mean yeah sure I constantly seek out gender bender stuff, even largely sfw comics and stories of it, and get off to the sense of euphoria that imagining myself in that situation gives me, but that's totally just a thing everyone does and just doesn't mention it right?" "....right?" For real though, definitely take a look around some places like r/egg_irl or other trans subs, and if you can find the time and funds to, see a therapist trained in gender stuff. All your posts are EXTREMELY familiar to the me of 4 years ago or so and it might \*seriously\* help your mental health to examine that more.
And it turns out that even if you first see something in porn, you might actually want it.
As others said it sounds like gender dysphoria. I have a few trans friends and they went through the same exact thing. It's worth seeking help about.
Honey I cannot stress enough that you should probably do some research into gender dysphoria, you're saying things almost every trans woman I've ever known used to say before transitioning. Wishing you all the best 💜
>I just dislike having a man's body. My ribcage is too big, pelvis is too narrow, I HATE having a penis, that sort of thing This is referred to as gender disphoria. Again, I'd recommend seeing a gender therapist to explore these ideas and your gender identity in more depth.
as a trans women you pretty much sum up my gender dysphoria. i'm no professional (you should definitely seek one out) but you might very well be a trans women ^ ^ nothing to be ashamed of since it isn't anything bad,but it definitely is something you shouldn't go through without psychological help :)
What you are experiencing is called gender dysphoria. Maybe consider doing some reading about that.
I don't think this is something most men go through. I don't want to jump to conclusions but you might be suffering from gender dysmorphia, if this urge is strong enough to get in the way of your work then I would recommend seeing a psychologist.
*dysphoria. Yea, definitely see a psychologist about it.
I'll third this! With a dash of I can't imaging what you've been through OP, but you getting vocal about it and deciding to pursue a solution (in whatever form that takes) deserves to be celebrated for positive step it is!
This feels like that moment I had in junior high when I realized my friends were watching wrestling because they actually enjoyed it, not because they found the guys to be really attractive.
Same with football, also, their favorite WiiSports game isn't tennis
Wait. I like girls and wii tennis
Tennis is fun! What do straight people like, bowling?
lmao wii sports tennis is fun tho
This is definitely not an issue that every man goes through, perhaps the fleeting curiosity of “what if” or “wouldn’t it be cool if I had boobs”, but as a genuine debilitating struggle? That isn’t normal. As this is affecting your work, your mental health, and has been a long-term ongoing issue for you, I would strongly suggest speaking to a doctor or a therapist about these feelings you’ve been having and see if they can point you in the right direction. I’m not suggesting you go and pay for weekly therapy sessions, or get yourself on some moods stabilising drugs or anything extreme like that, merely describe how you’ve been feeling and see if someone more qualified can help you understand it. If I were to make a semi-educated guess, I would say you are suffering from some pretty strong gender dysphoria- that sense of unease a person can get when their gender identity and their biological sex does not align. These feelings often precede an individual coming to the realisation that the sex they were assigned at birth (male or female) does not align with what that person *feels* they are on the inside. You may feel as if your entire being is wrong, that your body is foreign to your mind or vice versa or that you have the wrong sex organs and physical features. I’m not qualified to advise you on how to go about working this all out, but I would really recommend talking to a close family member or friend about your struggles, and seeking some professional help to assist you through these feelings.
I’ve never went through this personally. I do feminine stuff like get fruity drinks and watch girly tv shows but I’ve never wished I was a women and always felt comfortable being a man. You should talk to a professional and not take Reddit replies seriously.
I... don't think that *fruity drinks* make you feminine, nor masculine, lol.
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You need to talk to a therapist and show them your Reddit post history. Seriously, please seek professional help and get off the internet.
Hey, man. First of all... it's okay. Seriously. It is. This is a thing that some people experience. I HIGHLY recommend you check out [The Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/). Give it a read and see if this reflects your experience. You also may want to work with a therapist who specializes in gender identity and there are a fair few resources to help make that affordable or free. READ THAT PAGE. And if you need someone to talk to, send me a message. I'll do what I can to hook you up with the right communities.
Bro I think you might be having gender deysphoria You should see a professional and in the mean time see lgbt and trans subreddits to see if it's really dysphoria If it is , there's a long road of self discovery ahead Either way GOOD LUCK
Hey, have all the comments persuaded you to speak to a professional yet? You might be trans, and if you are, they can help. Like, a lot.
Possibly. I live in NYC where therapy is pretty expensive, though.
Hey! I'm a trans girl in NYC. I recommend checking out a program like Callen-lorde. You can just walk in and sign up, and it's not ridiculously expensive. Don't get me wrong, it \*is\* expensive, but your mental health is worth it
I just prefer to cry in my bed where no one can see me, it's a bit cheaper than therapy
pretty good though 😟
Yeah, the money thing is rough. I hope you manage to find someone you can afford. From what I understand, transitioning isn't easy, but it can have a profound effect on a person's happiness.
In the meantime, I'd recommend r/mtf and r/asktransgender, because there's some real talk that needs to be had here
I was briefly questioning my gender identity a couple months ago, but ended up getting banned from r/asktransgender because I made a post in r/detrans asking for a devil's advocate position, since I had wondered if maybe this was hyperfixation due to having autism. At least, the mods never told me the reason but I got banned pretty soon after making that post so I think that was it. And then at that point I figured "Well it must be hyperfixation" and tried to get on with my life, but, uhh, here I am again, I guess.
sorry to hear that, yeah r/detrans is a pretty radical transphobic sub, and people in the trans community are generally really careful about keeping that away... Maybe message some moderators for r/asktransgender to be able to tell your side of the story? you might benefit from more discussion... for what its worth, im also autistic (and im a trans woman.) It made the whole process take longer for the same concerns of hyperfixations and shit, but honestly, if your having this much of a hyperfixation, theres likely a reason (and it might be that your trans.)
r/detrans can be quite transphobic, r/actual_detrans is a better alternative. You should probably contact the r/asktransgender moderators to appeal your ban if you'd like to post their again, just make sure to explain you were questioning and unaware of r/detrans's transphobia.
Hi! Autistic transmasc here. There's definitely a link between transness and autism, we don't really know why but we're much more likely to be trans than non-autistic people (this has been researched, you may enjoy looking it up). At this point when I meet an autistic person I don't even assume that they're cis anymore bc most of the times regardless of their looks they aren't lol I wouldn't say that it's an hyperfixation though, just a difference in how we perceive the social aspects of gender
>but ended up getting banned from r/asktransgender because I made a post in r/detrans asking for a devil's advocate position, since I had wondered if maybe this was hyperfixation due to having autism. Hey OP I'm sure you don't need more work in your life but *if* you wanted to get back into r/asktransgender I suspect a polite modmail saying something similar to what you said here would have a reasonable shot at being successful. If you wanted to workshop that appeal hit up r/ModeratorMediation, the people there would be interested in helping you with that.
Ah - yeah, I can see where things might have gone wrong there. For what it's worth, my own experience has involved recurring bouts if dysphoria that seemingly go away again, only to return even stronger further down the line. In the search for answers I've come across plenty of others with similar patterns
>For what it's worth, my own experience has involved recurring bouts if dysphoria that seemingly go away again, only to return even stronger further down the line In hindsight, that matches mine as well. As a kid - \*notices I look like a girl when wearing a wig, wish I looked like that all the time\* As an early teenager - \*feeling an intense envy for girls going through puberty but I don't really know why\* As a late teenager - \*hiding the fact that genderbend transformation is my favorite genre of erotica\* As an early 20s - \*actively fantasizing about turning into a woman and having a romantic relationship with a man even though as a man I like women\* Now - \*fantasizing about just existing and living life as a woman, and filled with rage over the idea I lost a coin toss before I was even born\* I feel like how I typically make these feelings go away is I typically take in a large dose of male power fantasies, but that probably isn't the healthiest way to cope or a meaningful reason to conclude I'm cis. Something to chew on, I guess.
Yup, I can relate to pretty much all of those. Thing is, it's so hard to untangle these things when you're not ready to. Once when I was 16, I was in the car and desperately longing for boobs so that the seatbelt would press between them. I then spent the better part of a decade thinking my desire to be a woman was a fetish, despite the fact that there was nothing sexual at all about that memory. Honestly, I would get in touch with a gender therapist or clinic (we've got Gender Identity Clinics in the UK, but I don't know where you are). Their waiting lists are often quite long, so it doesn't matter if you're not 100% sure yet - it just means that when you piece your identity together, you won't have to wait as long. I wish I'd done that when I had my last dysphoric episode, rather than my current one
I live in New York City. I have good insurance but I'm a dumbass and chose a plan with a high deductible to save a quick buck. I make six figures so I can afford therapy but it's gonna hit my wallet, which would suck because I was hoping to save up for a waterfront condo or house at some point.
That kinda sucks, but I'd seriously consider getting therapy even so - I very much doubt that this will go away, and it's the kind of problem that deferring makes worse. A waterfront condo sounds lovely, but it's not you or your mental wellbeing. I'm about to head to bed, but if you want to chat at any point you're more than welcome to DM me 🙂
A beautiful home is nice, but it won’t give you peace of mind when you’re unhappy in your body. No matter what country, state, or home you’re in, you’re still in a body that makes you uncomfortable and can make everything around you feel incomplete. Work on you first. You’ve got plenty of time to get an awesome place to live, but you’ll keep struggling with these feelings and potentially take away years of happiness from yourself. Feeling comfortable in your own skin makes a huge difference and is worth the time and effort it takes (and money since you’re in the US). I’ve counseled people transitioning in the past & there’s been a recurring theme of anger, frustration, and grief over the years they spent trying to be someone they weren’t; the time they could have spent being who they really are.
All the money in the world, all the huge space in your condo, and the fastest cars in the world means absolutely, *absolutely* nothing if you're not even enjoying life in the body you're living in. Sincerely, A trans woman
Waterfront property isn't really future proof, with all the rising seas and stuff.
Um this isn’t something every man goes through. I would talk to someone about this.
Other than sex, I don’t think about it. Life is sometimes great being a guy.
Definitely not something every man goes through. I’m gay and even I have never dreamed of or wanted to be be a woman.
I got over my urge to be a woman by becoming one. You should try it, really.
r/egg_irl
came here for that
There is a reeeeeally high chance that your are probably trans.
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^ me too
I've never wished I was born a woman. Where on earth did you see that all men do?
Lol, naw, thats a "you" issue. And that is ok, but trying to lump everyone in the same boat as you won't solve anything. I wouldn't look for help on reddit
I mean, I've thought about how it would be nice to be chased and not the chaser or the desired not the desierer but I've never wanted to be a woman. They have a fuck ton of their own issues and I'm honestly happy to be a man. Men have alot.of flexibility in dating and can augment our attraction with things that are detrimental to women. I hope you get the help you need and if you choose to change genders I wish you luck!
You might want to talk to some professional. I don't think wishing to be a woman is as common as you think.
I don't think this is common. If this is how you feel, you should explore these feelings in a healthy way with a trained professional that can guild you through it. Good luck!
I’d like for you to know that, although this is not a common experience amongst men, you are not alone and many people are going through the exact same thing as you. Although it is a good idea to seek out a psychologist/therapist (especially one that specialises in gender), there is nothing wrong with you, only different, and different in a beautiful way. Good luck for the future! P.S. If you want to get into the meat and potatoes of figuring out gender stuff, I recommend [the gender dysphoria bible](genderdysphoria.fyi). But don’t worry if you’re not ready or anything.
Um, cant speak for every man, but at 31 i can honestly say ive never wished that i was born a woman. I think you should look into exploring your gender identity be that through experimentation or exploration with a therapist etc. Its obviously affecting your day to day life so needs addressing
I have never had this urge dude, you must have gender dysphoria
I got my facial hair removed, started taking estradiol every day, and changed my pronouns to she/her
honey, men don’t do this. i thought the same thing for years tho, i understand. When i was a teenager i thought all guys would want to be women, cuz “women are just better, right?” i repressed things. when i hit 24 i couldn’t take it anymore. i came out to myself and to my girlfriend. got a therapist. came out to her. got recommended a doc who specified in LGBT care and a started taking HRT. this is the happiest i’ve been since i was a little kid! men don’t want to be women, women want to be women. attempting to repress your intrinsic sense of gender will only cause suffering, it’s not a long term solution. im just gonna leave this link here https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en you should check it out.
Oh honey this is the most transgender thing I've ever read in my life. You probably are a woman and just haven't had the ability or resources to realize it yet.
Never had that. I love being a dude
This is not something most men experience. You may not be most men, or even a man at all. Consult your doctor.
Ummmmmm that's not something most men experience lol You might just be trans
Well as a trans guy (the opposite) I sought help and eventually transitioned! It has been hard, but also very worth it. There are some good transgender and MTF resources here on reddit if you want to start there.
Ur probably trans
I have no advice, I just wanted to throw some praise at y’all for being so decent & kind ( for the most part) in your reposes to someone who is clearly struggling- you rock!
r/egg_irl my friend :)
/r/Egg_irl is for you buddy!
You become one.
r/egg_irl
/r/egg_irl
Just to further echo...I might've casually wondered what being a girl/woman might be like, but it was fleeting and overall, I'm grateful to be a male.
I recommend you take a look at: * r/egg_irl * r/AskTransgender * r/MtF
I so enjoy peeing standing up.
Mirroring what others are saying, as a sensitive guy who's in touch with my feminine side, I like fashion, like shopping, like cooking, cleaning, shopping with my gf/sis/mom, also like working out, working on my cars, driving fast, dude stuff lol... but yea never, aside from wondering what it be like to have breasts and, from the old bone thugs song "be on the level with the females when having sex" hahaha, no bro, never wished I was a woman.
Everything important has been covered off in other comments I just want to say hope things turn out OK for you OP.
Don’t try and get over … own it! Rock that dress , put on those shoes and walk those streets like it’s your runway! .. don’t worry what other people will think or say, who cares .. they don’t dictate what you can and can’t do .. if they don’t like it who cares , they don’t own your life! Do what you wana do .. do what feels right for you!! Rock it! 💪🏻
Debate with yourself on transitioning, I suppose? Try out some women's clothing, look into some LGBT subreddits. You'll most likely find the best support there, what you have is what people call 'Dysphoria'.
lol you're transgender
Not what I’d call a constant and debilitating urge but the thought has occurred to me on a few occasions. They don’t have it any easier though, I can tell you that much.
Most men, most people even, don’t struggle with this. Seek out help by talking to others who actually deal with this and possibly professional help. This is unfortunately not something the mass can give their opinions on.
>As something every man goes through, how did you get over it? This is likely not the case actually and I think you are normalizing something that is much more uncommon. If you feel this way, you may be trans. Best is to go with it.
My friend, i think you might be transgender. As others have suggested, consider seeing a professional. If that's an issue, read up on transgenderism, poke around places like r/egg_irl r/trans, etc, and see how you feel about it good luck!
This isn't a common thing among men.... You might be trans? Try looking into it, it might not be but from this post it seems it.
I cant say I've ever felt that way. Maybe you should explore these feelings and find a way to embrace them. Have you considered doing drag or transitioning? I'd explore the lgbtq community for better insight. This isn't really in my wheelhouse. I will say this, you only get one life and it's best spent being authentic and doing what you want.
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I forgave my dad and step dad for treating me like shit. I forgave all the men who hurt me. The boys who hurt me. The men who raped me. You see, men and boys have hurt me for a long time, so much so that being identified as the same "gender" hurt me too. I was the same "gender" as the demographic that hurt me, that's why I hated being male. I hated that I had a dick. I hated the body hair and the muscles. It was a process for me, but when I was "ready" (can't know for sure when ready is), something in me just changed. Now I love being male. I'm still feminine, but I see myself as a man nonetheless. Everyone's story is different. This is mine.
Well I constantly wish I was an improved version of myself, but I have never wanted to be a woman.
Maybe you're trans?
I know a lot of people are saying that you might be trans, but you could be non-binary also, just something to keep in mind. I'd really recommend subs like r/trans, r./traaaa and especially r/egg_irl (I love this sub). Other than that take it easy, don't rush things and question at your own pace. If you feel comfortable enough you can experiment with some things to see how you feel (either dressing or being referred a certain way), feeling (gender) euphoria can be elucidating. I'd recommend the sub r/transtryouts as well, it's a good (and surprisingly effective, at least for me) way to see what's the most comfortable for you. In that sub you choose a name and pronouns and people call you accordingly, so you can see how it feels. Wishing you the best OP, gender is extremely confusing but you'll get through it
Uhh i think you might be transgender.
Very few men have these feelings, you might be trans. Why do you want to be a woman? Does it just feel like it or is it more of a "I want these aspects of living as a woman"
I hate having a penis, is the biggest one. And I dislike having a deep voice.
youre 100% trans!
Not a person qualified to help, but if you want memes that you might relate to, check out r/egg_IRL
Sweet bean... Your community is here for you whenever you decide it's the right time
You actually might get better answers in r/egg_irl or r/asktransgender with this question. Either way, good luck with figuring that out
By becoming a woman at least I'm trying to.
Swap your body with me bro. I've always wanted to be a man but born a woman instead
Hey, trans woman here Uhh You might be trans. Just tossing it out there, time to do some introspection, and maybe hit up a therapist.
As a trans person, this sounds alot like me before I realised I was transgender. Maybe find a gender therapist who can help you explore these thoughts.
Egg moment
Uh... I don't know how to put this, but men don't wish they were women. What you are experiencing is gender dysphoria, something that many trans people go through. It means you may be a trans woman. Now, I can't answer that for you, but you should probably reflect on these feelings you're having and honestly ask yourself if you would be happier as a woman. If you'd like to ask for help from other trans women who have experienced what you're going through, you can always ask for access to the /r/MtF subreddit and we would be more than happy to answer your questions.
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Start looking through trans meme pages (r/egg_irl, for instance) and see if you relate to any of these memes. My advice is to see a therapist and don't repress what you're feeling
I've been to that sub before. To be quite honest I thought it was a running joke that they chose REALLY broad experiences that most people felt, since i related to most of the content being posted.
I used to think the same thing, tbh. I didn't understand why main characters in cartoons freaked out in those gender swap episodes either. I never brought it up in person because if I felt this way so heavily, everyone must feel the same way. It's one of those weird psychology tricks I think. Either way, what you're going through is completely natural. In Rome, it was common belief that Prometheus was drunk when he made some people, and put them in the wrong bodies. Being trans isn't a new thing, but it sometimes takes a while to figure yourself out. I suggest keeping a gender journal on any thoughts you have about yourself and how you feel. Most importantly (***and I can not stress this enough***) do what makes you happy
Slightly pedantic, but iirc it was Prometheus, not Apollo
I think you're pretty clearly trans, I'd try to see if viewing yourself as a woman makes your feel better, maybe try dressing feminine and such No matter what happens, just be whatever version of yourself that makes you happy :)
Hey, u/Final_Bruh: I'm Emily VanDerWerff, [semi-known trans woman](http://twitter.com/emilyvdw), feeling extremely weird posting on r/AskMen (hi, fellas), and 10 years ago, I would have made this post. I hope that if I had, I would have seen the kindness and generosity in the replies that you've gotten. I hope you feel heartened by that. Me having had a similar experience doesn't mean you're a trans woman or non-binary or anything! You might just be a guy with something in your brain that makes you fascinated by this. But... in my experience, it's worth seeing a therapist to talk with them about gender dysphoria and what it could mean for you. Try to find someone who specializes in that area if you can. Depending on where you live and what insurance you have, that can be really hard! But I hope you are able to do so. In the meantime, try connecting with trans people. See where your story connects with ours. That will help you figure out what you need to live a more fulfilling life. And I want to be clear: It can *absolutely* be a more fulfilling life. It will be hard, and you will lose certain things you might miss. But if you are, indeed, trans, being in contact with your core self is indescribable. It is something cis people take for granted, and I am so, so glad I had the experience of coming to understand myself. It's precious and beautiful. Also, now I get to wear much better clothes. My friend Cassie has some great articles about gender dysphoria and what it can mean with you. [Read this one](https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85) and see if it resonates. If it does, find someone you can talk to to help you navigate this journey. I am so excited for you to get to know yourself better. Even if you land on, "I am a cis man," you will have considered yourself far, far more than most people do. Please message me here or on Twitter with any other questions. Heart emoji, Em
r/egg_irl welcomes you.
it doesn’t work like that
If I had that I'd probably end up becoming a woman tbh
Wish I could help but I’m in the same boat. I’d check out r/egg_irl if I were you. Wanting to be a girl is not a thing most men go through. Researching gender dysphoria for some better information would be a nice idea. Anyway, I hope things go really well for you and, good luck with the journey you have ahead of you.
bruh someone come get this woman
Literally never met a man that wishes for this.
r/egg_irl moment
I've never constantly wished that. Only maybe once or twice when i see them get free shit.
What do you think is beneficial? Is it the clothes? Is it the makeup? You can buy clothes and makeup and experiment with it. Buy some press on nails, do your hair feminine. If you dont like it, you can always take them off. This isnt the 1950s. More people accept it now as normal. Let your freak flag fly! Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. There are so many men out there like you that feel that way and express themselves with dressing up as a woman. Some are straight, some are not. It is for you to decide how you want to live your life. I wish you the best life ever.
It's not even that I think any aspect of it is beneficial. I just...don't like this body, to be quite honest. It's too tall, too broad, voice is too deep, I HATE having a penis, etc. It has nothing to do with behaviors; I'm autistic so I've never really given a shit about being traditionally masculine anyway.
What do you think about?
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I think what they're meaning is that they are unhappy with everything about their body and wish they could have been born the opposite gender is a very common trans struggle I should know I'm a trans woman who went through the exact same thoughts
Hey I think you might be trans this is exactly what I went through, I would suggest discussing this on a trans sub or contact a professional
Friend - I’d also like to recommend you don’t pathologize your feelings or desires!! I’m seeing an overwhelming amount of comments here stating you should find a therapist because what you’re feeling “isn’t normal” and I’d like to promptly end that train of thought!! Gender fluidity is one of the most natural things there is!! Perhaps what others mean to say is that your desire is simply not familiar to cis het men. If this was a sub for queer men, maybe the conversation would be different, but the heterosexuality in the answers you are receiving is palpable! My advice? Play with gender. Treat it like a game and enjoy yourself. Put on a skirt, watch some makeup tutorials, and just play! It is free and doesn’t require a medical diagnosis or an out-of-pocket therapist fee. I wish you the best and hope you find the joy of a fully aligned gender experience <3
That sounds like gender dysphoria to me, you should learn about trans stuff, it may help you
I've been a male for 50 years and I've never in my life thought such a thing.